Knowing reality "in itself" (independent of your perceptions) is a hot topic people have jerked their thoughts to for centuries. There are different ways of looking at it.
On the one hand, you cannot know anything beyond what you can sense (i.e. your perceptions). For example, try teaching a fly the difference between a circle and a square. It will not be able to know. It does not have the senses that allow it to know. Another example: someone who is very stupid. Try to show them the difference between a girl liking them vs. a girl liking their money (A lot of money-time-effort-optimizers cannot perceive this). Your nature limits what you can know. You cannot know beyond what your nature allows, essentially. A final example: someone who is very angry at someone else and wants to kill them. Try to explain to them that killing someone out of anger is bad and impulsive, the sign of a shitty human being, and they will ignore you or make up some nonsense about how their situation is different, etc.
Another way of looking at it is to try to think of something you've never perceived at all, but "heard" or "read" about. Like in pickup - hearing about how opening and closing a girl works, versus actually doing it yourself; or hearing about what so-and-so country is like, and actually going there yourself; or lastly (and most importantly), hearing about some big abstract concept (God, natural rights, freedom, morality), and actually perceiving it yourself.
If you've never perceived in any way the thing you are talking about (God, natural right, freedom), then it is very difficult to argue or discuss or explain or to even imagine. You end up talking about nothing, "word-smithing", making sounds with the mouth without content or meaning.
Perceptions also include your own imagination and feelings, so things you can visualize and draw in your mind. I can imagine two dots in my mind, and then a line connecting the two; and if you are a human being, you should also be able to do this. Some people are so stupid however that even such a simple thing cannot be imagined, so all of geometry is not comprehensible to them - basic geometric facts become unknowable.
Also, if you've ever been knocked unconscious before or experienced a near death accident, you'd know a black hole exists - a time skip - of those experiences you had as you were unconscious. You are simply unable to imagine or recall what happened in those moments, other people need to tell you. Reality ceased to exist.
This perception vs. reality issue is run into all the time on the boards. For example, when we talk about our ideal woman, or the 'perfect 10'. There are a lot of similarities of what constitutes our ideal woman, but there are some subtle differences. What is an "objectively" perfect 10 woman is something none of us can actually demonstrate, but we can in fact sense if one woman is more attractive than another, which is all influenced by our own nature and experiences, as well as our individual abilities to perceive the world objectively, and this results in those similarities and differences. What can be said about the perfect HB10 can also be said about the perfect circle, the perfect square, the perfect car, plane, and so on.
"Don't argue with stupid people" is also a saying that relates to this discussion lol. The power of the ad hominem is also relevant, since it makes sense that if a person is not right in the head (poor character), their ability to process experience cannot be trusted. All arguments require a mutual agreement on experience (perceptions), even mathematical ones.
Personally, I try to look at reality like a coin. There is the subjective side and then there's the objective side. They are bound together, inseparable. This, in total, is reality.
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