FR Seduction is supposed to be fun…

[TrailBlazer]

But it isn’t. At all. This is the collective FR of my experiences this week:

Very interested girl in my dance class

We danced together a few times on parties, she always grinds on me and there’s always a lot of tension. I just really can’t handle so much of it. So each time I left. This week she was looking at me a lot, but this time I couldn’t even ask her to dance. And she kept looking at me for a long time and was one of the last people to leave. But I didn’t have the courage. And that’s after years of doing daily approaches - and difficult ones! Groups of girls, families, girls in cars… and I still can’t do an approach that’s expected of me.. This girl I really liked and I was looking forward to the dance party for a long time. And this is how it ended. I hate seduction. It’s not easy or intuitive at all.


Girl from dance class who needed sex

When I met this girl we were looking into each other’s eyes for long minutes, there was the tension, everything. A lot of banter. On the following classes she was telling me about how she lives alone and doesn’t get enough sexual experiences. Despite this I didn’t have the courage to make any moves on her and now she moved away to another country. Incredible. Another reason to love seduction.. Why is it so goddamn difficult?? I’ve been doing this for years!


Did I tease too much?

This was a very good approach from yesterday, very beautiful girls outside of a club - I never thought such girls would even talk to me, but they did and I even managed to break down their group with guys, and talk to one girl alone. I teased her like I do with every girl - I told her she looks like a girl from a small village. She hit me on the shoulder. After a while I told her it doesn’t sound like she’s been learning French for 3 years - she hit me again. And after another while she told me she’s from X city - to which I said “I’m sorry to hear that” - and this time she just left. No words, just left.

And girls reacting badly to my teasing is quite common - but I have to tease girls to make them interested, I’m no Brad Pitt who can just talk to them normally. So I don’t know why they don’t like it. It’s like they want me to just drop the game and just talk to them normally and escalate? I don’t think I’m good enough for that type of game. I need all the techniques and gambits. They make me valuable in front of the girl.


But anyway all of these encounters left me emotionally destroyed. After the first dance girl situation I was so angry I destroyed a bin on the street. Seduction is NOT fun.

 

[Atlas IV]

You need to grow some balls.

There are girls around you who clearly want sex with you, and you can't work up the courage to do what you need to do.

What are you afraid of exactly?

Rejection? Failure?

You know there's nobody on this forum who hasn't experienced mountains of that, right?

If the girls were less attractive, would you feel less anxiety around moving things forward?

Also:

I teased her like I do with every girl - I told her she looks like a girl from a small village. She hit me on the shoulder. After a while I told her it doesn’t sound like she’s been learning French for 3 years - she hit me again. And after another while she told me she’s from X city - to which I said “I’m sorry to hear that” - and this time she just left. No words, just left.

This isn't teasing, it's insulting. Don't tease unless you know how to tease in a calibrated way.

 

[TrailBlazer]

You need to grow some balls.

There are girls around you who clearly want sex with you, and you can't work up the courage to do what you need to do.

What are you afraid of exactly?

Rejection? Failure?

You know there's nobody on this forum who hasn't experienced mountains of that, right?

If the girls were less attractive, would you feel less anxiety around moving things forward?

I’m afraid of change. Every success brings a ton of new challenges. Especially emotional ones - if I get so emotional after just a messed up approach, what will I do after a breakup? Is the pain even worth it?

Also if I never take action with these interested girls, I won’t have to deal with all my insecurities around sex. I won’t have to stress about making it enjoyable, etc. -> that’s what my subconscious thinks, so it stops me.

Here’s how it works. I own a business - I make custom art. Right now, despite needing the money, I’m not running ads. Why? Because each sale comes with me having to do the actual art piece, having to fulfill the expectations… I just don’t want to do that! I’d rather stay broke and have to do nothing - if I’m being serious. And I don’t know how to change this!

Back to girls. If they were less attractive, then I wouldn’t even care man. I would move things forward and if I messed something up, I would just shrug it off. And because of that, I wouldn’t be scared to try in the first place. Because I can have an ugly girl anytime. They aren’t scarce to me. But beautiful women are.

Once I’ll have abundance with beautiful women, I’ll feel the same way around them. But I can’t get there unless I get into an abundance mindset first. No idea how to do that. I can’t bullshit my brain. Beautiful girls are scarce to me at this point.

 

[Atlas IV]

I’m afraid of change. Every success brings a ton of new challenges. Especially emotional ones - if I get so emotional after just a messed up approach, what will I do after a breakup? Is the pain even worth it?

Also if I never take action with these interested girls, I won’t have to deal with all my insecurities around sex. I won’t have to stress about making it enjoyable, etc. -> that’s what my subconscious thinks, so it stops me.

Here’s how it works. I own a business - I make custom art. Right now, despite needing the money, I’m not running ads. Why? Because each sale comes with me having to do the actual art piece, having to fulfill the expectations… I just don’t want to do that! I’d rather stay broke and have to do nothing - if I’m being serious. And I don’t know how to change this!

Back to girls. If they were less attractive, then I wouldn’t even care man. I would move things forward and if I messed something up, I would just shrug it off. And because of that, I wouldn’t be scared to try in the first place. Because I can have an ugly girl anytime. They aren’t scarce to me. But beautiful women are.

Once I’ll have abundance with beautiful women, I’ll feel the same way around them. But I can’t get there unless I get into an abundance mindset first. No idea how to do that. I can’t bullshit my brain. Beautiful girls are scarce to me at this point.

Honestly man, your issues run deep. I don't think anyone, short of a professionally trained therapist, can help you.

Here's what ChatGPT 5 said:

TrailBlazer clearly has avoidant personality traits and performance anxiety that manifest across multiple life areas. If you had to diagnose it in DSM terms, the closest would be:

1. Avoidant Personality Disorder (traits)

Strong fear of rejection and criticism despite evidence of interest from others.

Avoids action (both in business and dating) to protect self-esteem.

Uses rationalizations like “it’s not worth the pain” or “I just need abundance first.”

Reacts with disproportionate emotional distress (anger, self-hate) when things go wrong.


2. Performance Anxiety / Sexual Avoidance

Fear of sexual performance and intimacy (“I won’t have to deal with insecurities around sex if I don’t act”).

Subconscious avoidance of situations that might expose sexual inadequacy.


3. Low Self-Worth Compensated by “Game Logic”

Overreliance on pickup techniques and teasing as armor.

Belief that his value must be performed through “game,” not naturally expressed.

Anger and hopelessness when the “techniques” fail.


4. Possible Underlying Dysthymia or Mild Depression

Anhedonia (“Seduction is not fun”), emotional exhaustion, and low motivation (even in his business).

Self-defeating pattern of avoiding success because success brings pressure.



---

In short:
He fits an avoidant-anxious personality pattern with perfectionistic self-sabotage. Not delusional, not narcissistic — just trapped in a cycle of fear → avoidance → shame → anger → repeat.

If he wanted to improve, the most direct therapy targets would be:

Exposure + accountability (small, consistent action without outcome focus).

Cognitive reframing (stop equating worth with flawless performance).

Self-compassion / body awareness work (reduce shame and anxiety around intimacy).

Possibly CBT or schema therapy
to address avoidant and perfectionistic schemas.

 

[Chase]

@TrailBlazer,

Every post of yours is filled with misery.

It's a real drag, man. It's just trauma-dumping on the Boards.

You need to read this post:

STICKIED: Board Etiquette

Quick announcement, fellas -- It's come to my attention that in the past few months that I haven't been on here as much, there's been a rise in pessimism / psychic vampirism going on here. Scanning back through some of the more recent posts, I'm seeing some of this, and it does not make me...

www.skilledseducer.com

Then you need to learn the method I teach here:

How to Overcome Depression

Was discussing this on a forum with a guy; I used to talk about it a fair amount, some time back, but it's sort of faded from my life in significance. It just isn't on my mind much these days anymore, but I do remember how big a deal it was for me once, and hopefully my story and process can...

www.girlschase.com

That should be your focus over and beyond anything having to do with girls.

If you're going to continue to post here, you need to take the emotion out of it. It's just vampiring off the other members looking for emotional support.

We're all sympathetic. Many of us have been there.

But this is not an emotional support board (you want Reddit for that. Or maybe the darker corners of X if you just want to do the "misery loves company" thing). You're barking up the wrong tree here.

This place is a place for guys who are mission-oriented and focused on steady improvement.

If you can stick to posting reports and take all the misery and rage out of it, please do so.

If you cannot, we are going to have to close your account. It's just too much negativity for anyone who is not a paid therapist or else similarly miserable to want to have to deal with, dude.

Chase

 

[average_daygamer]

I don't think his posts are negative at all. As for "how to overcome depression", that's the neat part, you don't. You just have to make your approaches regardless and that's what he's doing. I like reading field reports from someone who is relatable, rather than all these lay reports from people for which it is normal.

He is making field reports; what more do you want!?

I am in the same spot as Trailblazer. That's the problem, people that are at the rock bottom get shut out. I am not sure I can ever get laid from approach, but atleast posting about my experiences means that I am doing something with the time, effort and cringy situations which occur on the way. I should imagine it's the same for Trailblazer.

 

[POB]

I don't think his posts are negative at all. As for "how to overcome depression", that's the neat part, you don't. You just have to make your approaches regardless and that's what he's doing. I like reading field reports from someone who is relatable, rather than all these lay reports from people for which it is normal.

He is making field reports; what more do you want!?

I am in the same spot as Trailblazer. That's the problem, people that are at the rock bottom get shut out. I am not sure I can ever get laid from approach, but atleast posting about my experiences means that I am doing something with the time, effort and cringy situations which occur on the way. I should imagine it's the same for Trailblazer.

What you don't get is that this kind of attitude does 2 things:
- monopolizes forum attention and emotionally drains the seniors;
- prevent regular dudes who don't have this issue from getting help with women and improving their lives;

THIS IS NOT THERAPY BOARD!!!

If you feel like shit, get proper help.
Fix those deeper issues first, then come back here with a different mindset.

Every damn time I see one of those whinning posts, this is how I feel:

Women hate whinning men.
They smell this shit from 10 blocks away, and they are reppeled by it.
You think you can hide it, but you can't.
They figure it out on the spot just by checking you energy, your vibe and your overall behavior.
Even if you get laid, sex will be terrible for them.

I know about it because at one point in my life I was that guy:
- victmized
- depressed
- feeling like shit
- no energy and drained

Men are supposed to lead, and they will only lead if they are feeling great about themselves.

To all guys who come here to whine, dump emotions and get simpathy:
1) Stop being a fucking egotistical bastard;
2) Get professional help first, then you can worry about women;

You are a giant pussy that's using this forum as copeland for your victim mentality.
Go fix your fucking issues with the help of a therapist.