FR Seduction is supposed to be fun…

[TrailBlazer]

But it isn’t. At all. This is the collective FR of my experiences this week:

Very interested girl in my dance class

We danced together a few times on parties, she always grinds on me and there’s always a lot of tension. I just really can’t handle so much of it. So each time I left. This week she was looking at me a lot, but this time I couldn’t even ask her to dance. And she kept looking at me for a long time and was one of the last people to leave. But I didn’t have the courage. And that’s after years of doing daily approaches - and difficult ones! Groups of girls, families, girls in cars… and I still can’t do an approach that’s expected of me.. This girl I really liked and I was looking forward to the dance party for a long time. And this is how it ended. I hate seduction. It’s not easy or intuitive at all.


Girl from dance class who needed sex

When I met this girl we were looking into each other’s eyes for long minutes, there was the tension, everything. A lot of banter. On the following classes she was telling me about how she lives alone and doesn’t get enough sexual experiences. Despite this I didn’t have the courage to make any moves on her and now she moved away to another country. Incredible. Another reason to love seduction.. Why is it so goddamn difficult?? I’ve been doing this for years!


Did I tease too much?

This was a very good approach from yesterday, very beautiful girls outside of a club - I never thought such girls would even talk to me, but they did and I even managed to break down their group with guys, and talk to one girl alone. I teased her like I do with every girl - I told her she looks like a girl from a small village. She hit me on the shoulder. After a while I told her it doesn’t sound like she’s been learning French for 3 years - she hit me again. And after another while she told me she’s from X city - to which I said “I’m sorry to hear that” - and this time she just left. No words, just left.

And girls reacting badly to my teasing is quite common - but I have to tease girls to make them interested, I’m no Brad Pitt who can just talk to them normally. So I don’t know why they don’t like it. It’s like they want me to just drop the game and just talk to them normally and escalate? I don’t think I’m good enough for that type of game. I need all the techniques and gambits. They make me valuable in front of the girl.


But anyway all of these encounters left me emotionally destroyed. After the first dance girl situation I was so angry I destroyed a bin on the street. Seduction is NOT fun.

 

[Atlas IV]

You need to grow some balls.

There are girls around you who clearly want sex with you, and you can't work up the courage to do what you need to do.

What are you afraid of exactly?

Rejection? Failure?

You know there's nobody on this forum who hasn't experienced mountains of that, right?

If the girls were less attractive, would you feel less anxiety around moving things forward?

Also:

I teased her like I do with every girl - I told her she looks like a girl from a small village. She hit me on the shoulder. After a while I told her it doesn’t sound like she’s been learning French for 3 years - she hit me again. And after another while she told me she’s from X city - to which I said “I’m sorry to hear that” - and this time she just left. No words, just left.

This isn't teasing, it's insulting. Don't tease unless you know how to tease in a calibrated way.

 

[TrailBlazer]

You need to grow some balls.

There are girls around you who clearly want sex with you, and you can't work up the courage to do what you need to do.

What are you afraid of exactly?

Rejection? Failure?

You know there's nobody on this forum who hasn't experienced mountains of that, right?

If the girls were less attractive, would you feel less anxiety around moving things forward?

I’m afraid of change. Every success brings a ton of new challenges. Especially emotional ones - if I get so emotional after just a messed up approach, what will I do after a breakup? Is the pain even worth it?

Also if I never take action with these interested girls, I won’t have to deal with all my insecurities around sex. I won’t have to stress about making it enjoyable, etc. -> that’s what my subconscious thinks, so it stops me.

Here’s how it works. I own a business - I make custom art. Right now, despite needing the money, I’m not running ads. Why? Because each sale comes with me having to do the actual art piece, having to fulfill the expectations… I just don’t want to do that! I’d rather stay broke and have to do nothing - if I’m being serious. And I don’t know how to change this!

Back to girls. If they were less attractive, then I wouldn’t even care man. I would move things forward and if I messed something up, I would just shrug it off. And because of that, I wouldn’t be scared to try in the first place. Because I can have an ugly girl anytime. They aren’t scarce to me. But beautiful women are.

Once I’ll have abundance with beautiful women, I’ll feel the same way around them. But I can’t get there unless I get into an abundance mindset first. No idea how to do that. I can’t bullshit my brain. Beautiful girls are scarce to me at this point.

 

[Atlas IV]

I’m afraid of change. Every success brings a ton of new challenges. Especially emotional ones - if I get so emotional after just a messed up approach, what will I do after a breakup? Is the pain even worth it?

Also if I never take action with these interested girls, I won’t have to deal with all my insecurities around sex. I won’t have to stress about making it enjoyable, etc. -> that’s what my subconscious thinks, so it stops me.

Here’s how it works. I own a business - I make custom art. Right now, despite needing the money, I’m not running ads. Why? Because each sale comes with me having to do the actual art piece, having to fulfill the expectations… I just don’t want to do that! I’d rather stay broke and have to do nothing - if I’m being serious. And I don’t know how to change this!

Back to girls. If they were less attractive, then I wouldn’t even care man. I would move things forward and if I messed something up, I would just shrug it off. And because of that, I wouldn’t be scared to try in the first place. Because I can have an ugly girl anytime. They aren’t scarce to me. But beautiful women are.

Once I’ll have abundance with beautiful women, I’ll feel the same way around them. But I can’t get there unless I get into an abundance mindset first. No idea how to do that. I can’t bullshit my brain. Beautiful girls are scarce to me at this point.

Honestly man, your issues run deep. I don't think anyone, short of a professionally trained therapist, can help you.

Here's what ChatGPT 5 said:

TrailBlazer clearly has avoidant personality traits and performance anxiety that manifest across multiple life areas. If you had to diagnose it in DSM terms, the closest would be:

1. Avoidant Personality Disorder (traits)

Strong fear of rejection and criticism despite evidence of interest from others.

Avoids action (both in business and dating) to protect self-esteem.

Uses rationalizations like “it’s not worth the pain” or “I just need abundance first.”

Reacts with disproportionate emotional distress (anger, self-hate) when things go wrong.


2. Performance Anxiety / Sexual Avoidance

Fear of sexual performance and intimacy (“I won’t have to deal with insecurities around sex if I don’t act”).

Subconscious avoidance of situations that might expose sexual inadequacy.


3. Low Self-Worth Compensated by “Game Logic”

Overreliance on pickup techniques and teasing as armor.

Belief that his value must be performed through “game,” not naturally expressed.

Anger and hopelessness when the “techniques” fail.


4. Possible Underlying Dysthymia or Mild Depression

Anhedonia (“Seduction is not fun”), emotional exhaustion, and low motivation (even in his business).

Self-defeating pattern of avoiding success because success brings pressure.



---

In short:
He fits an avoidant-anxious personality pattern with perfectionistic self-sabotage. Not delusional, not narcissistic — just trapped in a cycle of fear → avoidance → shame → anger → repeat.

If he wanted to improve, the most direct therapy targets would be:

Exposure + accountability (small, consistent action without outcome focus).

Cognitive reframing (stop equating worth with flawless performance).

Self-compassion / body awareness work (reduce shame and anxiety around intimacy).

Possibly CBT or schema therapy
to address avoidant and perfectionistic schemas.

 

[Chase]

@TrailBlazer,

Every post of yours is filled with misery.

It's a real drag, man. It's just trauma-dumping on the Boards.

You need to read this post:

STICKIED: Board Etiquette

Quick announcement, fellas -- It's come to my attention that in the past few months that I haven't been on here as much, there's been a rise in pessimism / psychic vampirism going on here. Scanning back through some of the more recent posts, I'm seeing some of this, and it does not make me...

www.skilledseducer.com

Then you need to learn the method I teach here:

How to Overcome Depression

Was discussing this on a forum with a guy; I used to talk about it a fair amount, some time back, but it's sort of faded from my life in significance. It just isn't on my mind much these days anymore, but I do remember how big a deal it was for me once, and hopefully my story and process can...

www.girlschase.com

That should be your focus over and beyond anything having to do with girls.

If you're going to continue to post here, you need to take the emotion out of it. It's just vampiring off the other members looking for emotional support.

We're all sympathetic. Many of us have been there.

But this is not an emotional support board (you want Reddit for that. Or maybe the darker corners of X if you just want to do the "misery loves company" thing). You're barking up the wrong tree here.

This place is a place for guys who are mission-oriented and focused on steady improvement.

If you can stick to posting reports and take all the misery and rage out of it, please do so.

If you cannot, we are going to have to close your account. It's just too much negativity for anyone who is not a paid therapist or else similarly miserable to want to have to deal with, dude.

Chase

 

[average_daygamer]

I don't think his posts are negative at all. As for "how to overcome depression", that's the neat part, you don't. You just have to make your approaches regardless and that's what he's doing. I like reading field reports from someone who is relatable, rather than all these lay reports from people for which it is normal.

He is making field reports; what more do you want!?

I am in the same spot as Trailblazer. That's the problem, people that are at the rock bottom get shut out. I am not sure I can ever get laid from approach, but atleast posting about my experiences means that I am doing something with the time, effort and cringy situations which occur on the way. I should imagine it's the same for Trailblazer.

 

[POB]

I don't think his posts are negative at all. As for "how to overcome depression", that's the neat part, you don't. You just have to make your approaches regardless and that's what he's doing. I like reading field reports from someone who is relatable, rather than all these lay reports from people for which it is normal.

He is making field reports; what more do you want!?

I am in the same spot as Trailblazer. That's the problem, people that are at the rock bottom get shut out. I am not sure I can ever get laid from approach, but atleast posting about my experiences means that I am doing something with the time, effort and cringy situations which occur on the way. I should imagine it's the same for Trailblazer.

What you don't get is that this kind of attitude does 2 things:
- monopolizes forum attention and emotionally drains the seniors;
- prevent regular dudes who don't have this issue from getting help with women and improving their lives;

THIS IS NOT THERAPY BOARD!!!

If you feel like shit, get proper help.
Fix those deeper issues first, then come back here with a different mindset.

Every damn time I see one of those whinning posts, this is how I feel:

Women hate whinning men.
They smell this shit from 10 blocks away, and they are reppeled by it.
You think you can hide it, but you can't.
They figure it out on the spot just by checking you energy, your vibe and your overall behavior.
Even if you get laid, sex will be terrible for them.

I know about it because at one point in my life I was that guy:
- victmized
- depressed
- feeling like shit
- no energy and drained

Men are supposed to lead, and they will only lead if they are feeling great about themselves.

To all guys who come here to whine, dump emotions and get simpathy:
1) Stop being a fucking egotistical bastard;
2) Get professional help first, then you can worry about women;

You are a giant pussy that's using this forum as copeland for your victim mentality.
Go fix your fucking issues with the help of a therapist.

 

[ElChe]

What you don't get is that this kind of attitude does 2 things:
- monopolizes forum attention and emotionally drains the seniors;
- prevent regular dudes who don't have this issue from getting help with women and improving their lives;

THIS IS NOT THERAPY BOARD!!!

If you feel like shit, get proper help.
Fix those deeper issues first, then come back here with a different mindset.

To all guys who come here to whine, dump emotions and get simpathy:
1) Stop being a fucking egotistical bastard;
2) Get professional help first, then you can worry about women;

I've recommended him a few times on this forum but I think one of the best teachers of emotional intelligence in the world is Brian Begin (who is also amazing with women and teaches dating stuff).

His teachings radically changed my life when I was in the dumps.

Maybe pointing dudes who are deep in apathy when it comes to women/romance towards him would solve a lot of the forum whining.

Brian's got a ton of free videos and insight on dealing with apathy and wallowing (and how it's very un-useful to get stuck in these states), and any other emotional issue one could have.

As for what I'd tell @TrailBlazer

if I get so emotional after just a messed up approach, what will I do after a breakup? Is the pain even worth it?

Also if I never take action with these interested girls, I won’t have to deal with all my insecurities around sex. I won’t have to stress about making it enjoyable, etc. -> that’s what my subconscious thinks, so it stops me.

Here’s how it works. I own a business - I make custom art. Right now, despite needing the money, I’m not running ads. Why? Because each sale comes with me having to do the actual art piece, having to fulfill the expectations… I just don’t want to do that! I’d rather stay broke and have to do nothing - if I’m being serious. And I don’t know how to change this!

You're way too identified with your emotions. Your apathy doesn't mean anything-- the fact you get emotional after a messed up approach doesn't mean anything.

It seems like any time you feel something negative, you get swallowed in it and instead of just feeling it and letting it pass, you make a bunch of stories about how your subconscious is sabotaging you and whether any of it is worth it and yadda yadda.

Literally, the fact that you're making negative emotions an issue IS the issue.

Instead, let go.

Thing is, the change you want happens by itself.

Think of your mind like a lake. An emotion is like a rock getting thrown into that lake, causing a ripple.

What you're doing is seeing that ripple and jumping into the lake and trying to examine the ripple from every corner, trying to figure it out, thrashing about and telling everyone "guys look!! My lake is full of ripples!".

Do you think that makes the ripple better or worse?

Just stop. Set an intention to get better at feeling negative emotions and turning them into courage and enjoyment for women. Then let your body change naturally.
(and again-- I highly recommend studying Brian Begin if you want to master letting go. Also Michael Singer)

Also, like the others have said, you're choosing to give these mucky emotions to everyone here. Why? Why are you choosing to give your weakest self to people on this forum, who can greatly help you with their insight?

Work more on giving your strongest, most inspiring self to your relationships. I mean you're already taking action and getting results, so the value is there

 

[Ratata]

But it isn’t. At all. This is the collective FR of my experiences this week:

Very interested girl in my dance class

We danced together a few times on parties, she always grinds on me and there’s always a lot of tension. I just really can’t handle so much of it. So each time I left. This week she was looking at me a lot, but this time I couldn’t even ask her to dance. And she kept looking at me for a long time and was one of the last people to leave. But I didn’t have the courage. And that’s after years of doing daily approaches - and difficult ones! Groups of girls, families, girls in cars… and I still can’t do an approach that’s expected of me.. This girl I really liked and I was looking forward to the dance party for a long time. And this is how it ended. I hate seduction. It’s not easy or intuitive at all.


Girl from dance class who needed sex

When I met this girl we were looking into each other’s eyes for long minutes, there was the tension, everything. A lot of banter. On the following classes she was telling me about how she lives alone and doesn’t get enough sexual experiences. Despite this I didn’t have the courage to make any moves on her and now she moved away to another country. Incredible. Another reason to love seduction.. Why is it so goddamn difficult?? I’ve been doing this for years!


Did I tease too much?

This was a very good approach from yesterday, very beautiful girls outside of a club - I never thought such girls would even talk to me, but they did and I even managed to break down their group with guys, and talk to one girl alone. I teased her like I do with every girl - I told her she looks like a girl from a small village. She hit me on the shoulder. After a while I told her it doesn’t sound like she’s been learning French for 3 years - she hit me again. And after another while she told me she’s from X city - to which I said “I’m sorry to hear that” - and this time she just left. No words, just left.

And girls reacting badly to my teasing is quite common - but I have to tease girls to make them interested, I’m no Brad Pitt who can just talk to them normally. So I don’t know why they don’t like it. It’s like they want me to just drop the game and just talk to them normally and escalate? I don’t think I’m good enough for that type of game. I need all the techniques and gambits. They make me valuable in front of the girl.


But anyway all of these encounters left me emotionally destroyed. After the first dance girl situation I was so angry I destroyed a bin on the street. Seduction is NOT fun.

Here's a summary of your experience.

1. Girl practically begs you to seduce her
2. You make excuses because you're still afraid of rejection, despite all that

It goes something like this: I rock up to you at dance class or whatever. I go right over to you, smile and go: "Do you want a million dollars?" You don't believe it, and also you're scared of how that'll take away your pain body, so you say "Um... No? Omg I need to puke!" And then I stand there completely bewildered, not knowing what to do with my suitcase full of dollar bills, so the only thing left to do is go home and shower in the money myself, alone, while crying because I got rejected by the mean guy I just wanted to share some wealth with.

This is what you're doing to the girls, bro. You're forcing them to go home and literally masturbate to you in the shower! You naughty, naughty boy! Why are you subjecting these women to so much torture? The next girl you meet; bro you OWE it to her to really give her some deep dicking. If you don't, man, you deserve to burn in hell. No girl deserves such harsh treatment from a man...

So listen, is this accurate? How do you think we feel when we offer you advice worth thousands, yet you somehow fumble things even though you get obvious signs (or as obvious as they get from a woman)?

You're afraid of rejection. Why? I think you're taking this thing way to seriously. So, here's a small test I want you to run. Run it on safe girls that you aren't into, but who you know for sure are into you. Girl who pester you. I mean, if you get this kind of attention from girls you actually want to jump, then surely you have some unwanted attention too, right? Or even if you don't, just make this into a non-binding experiment. You're just doing this for science, to test her, ok?

Well, here's the experiment. When dance class or whatever is over, and you're standing there chilling with some girl. Perhaps you're leaving or getting dressed, or just waiting for the bus. Then tell the girl this:

"OMG, OMG, OMG I can't find my keys!!! (Hyperventilate like a little girl for added drama.) OMG, noooo, I don't want to sleep on the street tonight, halp! (Then smirk, and go) Well... Looks like I'll have to go home with you tonight..."

It's a joke. Well, half joke. You're not doing it because you actually want to go home with her. You're doing it to test her response to suddenly having you as a house guest.

If she's negative, tell her that you were just joking and that you had the key all along. Dangle it in front of her to tease her.

But if she's positive, now it's GAME ON! Then tell her that "Omg losing my keys really takes a toll on me, so I can't sleep alone tonight. Are you good at spooning?" Again, said tounge-in-cheek. She'll know that you're joking.

Again, you're nor actually gonna sleep with her, you're just testing the waters, seeing how she'll respond, to find out if she's worth escalating on later. But I mean... if she does invite you home for spooning due to this, well...

Btw. this isn't bs I just pull out of my crack here, it's field tested stuff. Man, can you imagine the look on my face the first time a girl was actually positive to this bs?

 

[Lantern]

Women hate whinning men.

Everybody hates whining men.

 

[Energy]

Here’s how it works. I own a business - I make custom art. Right now, despite needing the money, I’m not running ads. Why? Because each sale comes with me having to do the actual art piece, having to fulfill the expectations… I just don’t want to do that! I’d rather stay broke and have to do nothing - if I’m being serious. And I don’t know how to change this!

You see, the fact that you mention this proves that you're issue is deeper than getting girl. It has bad consequences on your career.

@TrailBlazer @average_daygamer
I'm sorry that you guys are feeling that way. I've been there.
But again this is not the right place.

I suggest you to take a break from all this.

I can’t bullshit my brain.

Exactly! You won't get better by posting many FR. Your brain needs something else.