She is not responding to my text why?

[abond0082]

This is not about how to fix as much as what could I do better and learn from that experince for next time. If I learned anything is that understanding women is impossible but that is ok frustrating as it is.
Met this woman a year ago, Gorgeous, sexy as hell. We hit it off really fast, we made out and if I wasnt religious and that I discovered that she was married(I dont touch married), I would have close to 100 got her to bed. I was very turned on by her.
We were distant for a year, we messaged rarely, she ignore 2 messages and responds to 1 message anyways. She lately started to send me messages and we met. We met on a Thursday not as an agreement but as immediate date. She calls in the morning and we say lets meet. Thursdays is my Weightlifting day and I wouldn't leave it for anyone except my dad maybe(nothing to do with game, I paid so much to learn it)
We choose a nice coffee plotice this is one year we didnt see. I have tace, she decided to sit were there is the candle light, no say that for some reason, I flirt, I throw compliments, she throws some etc...This is the first date that we dont make out with each other and also as hot as she is this might be the first time ever that I dont look at her with complete lust(maybe because she was dressing consrvatively). She seemed to have a good time and me too and usually in dating I noticed that having a good date is not always 'Good'. I cut the date short because I wanted to go to training and we agreed to meet on Wednesday, she said 'She will make it' and I do believe her.
One thing to mention is that we met at the of the date when I was taking the bus, an old lady who seemed nice in the begineening but then started to bash people from where I come from etc...(Note. Me and the girl are both forgeiners and she is a bit darker skinned than me. ...what gave me away?????). I dont insult old women and I wasnt hostile, I just didnt say anything, so I was worried that the fact that I didnt stand up for myself or that she stood up for me a bit was the deal??? I was just phased, I wasnt prepared and it wasnt a big deal, she said few stupid things but that is it.
Wednesday come, she ignores messages, even reasds whatapp message late without response without apology and I dont want to run after anybody (I dont want to be disrespect very important to me) Maybe she met someone on Saturday but for a year shecould have met thousands and she is the one who called sent me a message first?

Just want to know where do you think I went wrong and what can I learn that I do not repeat for next time?

Why am I angry:
1) She said she will commit to the date and she said it with convection, I was sure she will come to the date, she didnt EVEN apologize
2) I'm tired for being treated like dog shit from women just because I like them
3) I would not leave lifting for anybody, in fact I went to training late just to stay with her, but in the end I went to training, it is something very important to me.
4) It was NOT a date, this was a fast meeting just because I havent seen her for long.
5) The thing that makes me MOST ANGRY, IS I HAVE TO IDEA; WHERE DID I GO WTONG SO I CAN LEARN FROM IT. I haven't seen her for over a year, I don't expect to make out with her:...I don't even know if she is still intersted?...THe only insticnt I have was proabably because I may gave off an unconcious cocky(arrogant vibe) or that I didn't look to her with the lust I used to...But that is because I haven't seen her for long time, I forgot how she felt like, or how her body looked like.

FUCK THIS; now that she is single she doesnt want me, only when she is married she did(Did she even like me or am destined to be a freakin loser and only a rebound kunt)

Apart of me want a bit of confrontation, I 'm ready to fault myself but I'm not sure.

To be honest, I'm slightly at fault too, because I might have taken her for granted, maybe I gave off a slightly cocky vibe. but I want to know where did I go wrong so atleat I can learn something. She didnt respond to any message, she didnt bother looking at them, NOTHING it is a bit unlike her...I rarely get attention from women that I like, and I ALWAYS MESS IT UP ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS:

I hope I get answers for people who have expertise but everybody is welcome

 

[cruiser]

Hey man

awesome you went on a date with a hot girl, points right there!

so a couple things you will learn on your journey. Escalation window. Every woman has one, and if you don’t act on it they will dismiss you and its hard to bring them back within short notice.

my feelings are that she texted you because she was horny, wanted to meet up and fuck. Which you did excellent, but you didn’t escalate or try to pull her back to your place for some fun. The texting thing don’t take it personally. Imagine it’s a friend and treat it like that. You can try calling her and setting something up.

You did great not talking back to that woman, just laugh it off tell the girl “crazy hick right?” And move on. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I would have skipped the training session and hung out with her more and go back to your place.

 

[abond0082]

Hey man

awesome you went on a date with a hot girl, points right there!

so a couple things you will learn on your journey. Escalation window. Every woman has one, and if you don’t act on it they will dismiss you and its hard to bring them back within short notice.

my feelings are that she texted you because she was horny, wanted to meet up and fuck. Which you did excellent, but you didn’t escalate or try to pull her back to your place for some fun. The texting thing don’t take it personally. Imagine it’s a friend and treat it like that. You can try calling her and setting something up.

You did great not talking back to that woman, just laugh it off tell the girl “crazy hick right?” And move on. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I would have skipped the training session and hung out with her more and go back to your place.

Thank you.

Started Olympic Weightlifting about a year ago...hate that I didnt do it earlier in life. Basically the only thing that I use to fight my insecurities and I almost never meet anybody on Thursday.

 

[cruiser]

Hey don’t hate yourself, thank yourself for picking it up! Switch your mindset to more positivity and you’ll see a huge change in women and yourself.

well do you go out on thursdays? Go out on thursdays and meet women. Don’t complain like a kid if you’re not gonna take action and do anything about it

 

[abond0082]

I dont go out of Thursdays because it is training day...Infact I especially made space for her. Also not prepared in anyway, my wardrop is not on point etc...It was day time she knows I will stay for a very short period.

Also, getting a woman that is exactly my type to be intersted in me is not easy tasks, God knows I paid my dues. Sometimes I get insecure that maybe the only reason that she liked me is because her relationship with her husband soured and broken marriage women are often the easiest.

But I tell myself and I askd her and she said she really liked me, so I will take her word for it.

Freakin Sks...

But thank you very much for taking your time and answering me, I was in desperate need of some support, I\m not having easy time with it iespecially that I get friend zoned very often.

Sometimes I felt wrong for not breaking my rule of never touching a married woman but I wish I NEVER EVER DO.
Peace

 

[Tony D]

I think you should have tried to fuck her rather than go lifting. My two cents.

 

[Richard]

Women run on a time frame, my friend, and they don't stay open forever.

If she initiated a date with you it was because she was hoping you would make some kind of move because she just forth a lot of effort to get you out which means she's primed for ssoommmeeetthhhinnggg - and women very rarely do this. So, you two went out but you didn't make anything happen which is basically a slap in the face to her because she put forth the effort and took a risk to get you out. Even more of a slap in the face because you cut the date short which is a double "fuck you" to the investment she made and risk she took.

After you two didn't do anything she probably backwards rationalized and is now in rejection-mode.

 

[abond0082]

Women run on a time frame, my friend, and they don't stay open forever.

If she initiated a date with you it was because she was hoping you would make some kind of move because she just forth a lot of effort to get you out which means she's primed for ssoommmeeetthhhinnggg - and women very rarely do this. So, you two went out but you didn't make anything happen which is basically a slap in the face to her because she put forth the effort and took a risk to get you out. Even more of a slap in the face because you cut the date short which is a double "fuck you" to the investment she made and risk she took.

After you two didn't do anything she probably backwards rationalized and is now in rejection-mode.

WOWWWWWWW,

Than the mistake is that I should have not met her on Thursday, but I told her this is gonna be short and the agrement was Saturday which she could make it but Wednesday was the deal.

Maybe It had be the same day.

FUK ME, fukin idiot.

Thank you all for answering and teaching me...not knowing where I went wrong so I can learn not to do it is the worst.

 

[abond0082]

I think you should have tried to fuck her rather than go lifting. My two cents.

Thank you very much

Sometimes the things I m most oblivious too are the most important...It seems everybody thought the samething. The fact that she wants me to do something, NEVER crossed my mind especially that we havent met for long.

Thank you

 

[JacobPalmer]

Agree with what's been said already, should have tried to pull her.

Going forward however, we'd need to see/read the actual text exchange for when you're trying to set up the date Wednesday. Then we can give advice on how to proceed.

 

[abond0082]

Hello Jacob,

Thank you for answering.

1) When she said she said she will meet me on Wednessday there was ALOT of CONVECTION in her words(we talked it face to face), she was ok with Friday morning and Saturday evening but not late(If she is meeting a man, than I'm out because I told her in the past am not intersted to be second best because she isn't...I was almost dead sure she will come, the fact the she didnt't I find that fact very strange, I'm still puzzled by it.

2)All respect to everybody who replied me on this post, they are great, smart, intellignet and experinced people. I still don't regret much going to my weightlifting. If she felt it is a slap in the face that is shallow of her one because she would judge me, if I get offended if if she cant make it because of imprtant schedual. Weightlifting is not just a sport, it is a REHABILITAION, she doesnt know that part, I paid literally 1000 Euros to learn it. Thursday was fast meeting, and she knows that.

3)I'm not sure if I'm angry at her, I think I'm angry at myself for taking her for granted...I think the reason she ghosted me is that I was very arrogant(On the inside) not on the outside. Whatever she did, it was correct. If she didn't feel like responding to me than she is did the right thing. The only thing is that she likes me too much, that I'm surprised that she doesn something 'Disrespectful to me'. If I wasn't cocky and arrogant, I would have blamed her for being manipulative but I was.

So it is all good. I just want to learn how to be very confidennt, sure of myself and not be arrogant even unintentionally. I have so many insecurities that she knows some of these but that is a topic for an other day.

 

[JacobPalmer]

Post. The. Text. Exchange.

The one where she's not responding anymore. Then maybe we can help re engage.

 

[abond0082]

That is the last text I sent her.

"My heart is broken that you didnt show up on Wednesday. I really expected you to come. Thought we had fun last time hmmmmmm(Confused emoji). I really wish you said you cant make it, it would have been nice. Anyways, it is all good and I would love to see you again. It was very short time that we spent together. Tell me if you are up to it. Stay strong, stay positive."

 

[JacobPalmer]

Oh man.....Sorry to say but this is not a good text to send. It comes across as very sad, butthurt, and lovey-dovey. It actually sounds like you are forgiving her because she ghosted/flaked. This is 99% done.

For future reference, if she ghosts/flakes on the date.

" Dear diary, cute girl went missing....may send a search party out to find her" (for a fun flirty text that shows you aren't butthurt)

or just silence, you don't send anything.

Or you flake on her (after she flakes)

"Hey XXX, sorry I couldn't make it the other day, something came up. Hope you understand, will make it up to you another time."

 

[abond0082]

Oh man.....Sorry to say but this is not a good text to send. It comes across as very sad, butthurt, and lovey-dovey. It actually sounds like you are forgiving her because she ghosted/flaked. This is 99% done.

For future reference, if she ghosts/flakes on the date.

" Dear diary, cute girl went missing....may send a search party out to find her" (for a fun flirty text that shows you aren't butthurt)

or just silence, you don't send anything.

Or you flake on her (after she flakes)

"Hey XXX, sorry I couldn't make it the other day, something came up. Hope you understand, will make it up to you another time."

All good suggestion.

I'm not reading into what I wrote too much...The problem is me. I havent had my shit together for years...That is not the topic for that, but I need to get my manliness in check...When I do, she usually responds well to that.

Has been my fault, I was (INSIDE) arrogant, cocky and took her for granted. No matter how flirty or nice I was.
I started it, I pay the price. I just want to learn how to be confident without being (Unintentionally arrogant)

I appreciate your input very much though

 

[M_Ronin]

What do you mean when you say you were arrogant?

 

[abond0082]

It means the whole time I was thinking, I can do better, I'm not in a hurry...She is not as good as I think. THat was on my mind the whole time....I like her, I'm infatuated a bit and she knows that, but you can arrogant at times...

She probably felt something doesnt feel right and she cant explain it.

I remember in the past she said one thing she liked about me, is that she can see that I really like her.

 

[M_Ronin]

Oh I think I might have the answer to your arrogance/Confidence problem then. You see arrogance is a defense mechanism. In employing, you were trying to protect yourself from something (which only you know). In contrast, Confidence is just a mundane feeling of "I can do this"

Might be wrong. Just my 2 cents.

 

[abond0082]

Could be, but I dont fault her that much to be honest, when I think about it. If I looked at her as some woman that is beautiful and sexy and she ghosts me, then I would say she is playing games. I was unintetnially cocky and you said, it is an is protecting myself from something, or a hidden insecurity or something.

Thank you very much

 

[M_Ronin]

Sure Man!