Socializing Societal Roles: Men are supposed to be ACTIVE towards women!

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Mar 16, 2015
Messages
571
I think as much as I love pob and most of the time we agreed a million %, the premise is a bit off in what defines masculinity and the premise of online per se is not taking and active role... let's say you let say want to improve your appearance for looking good in pictures that is an active role, you learn texting and some game knowledge, you learn how to date etc.... those are active roles, to your second point on results there is a book I recommend called the winning effect that makes that point... I think the main premise should be not to abandon cold approach

P.s. @Bismarck I pmed you my point not to be rude and derail the post

I 100% agree! I've learned how to take good pictures, the messaging structure that works best. Learned how to calibrate based on texts themselves, so I don't think my online adventures were useless.

And I can't give up on daygame, it's all I got left haha!

Plus, I did have a wonderful Saturday yesterday to finally get some momentum going. Which is nice, had to actually cancel on a same day date for a different same day date lol
 

POB

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
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Nov 13, 2019
Messages
226
Location
South America
I think the main premise should be not to abandon cold approach
Basically, that's what I said in a nutshell.

I don't disagree with your points, but you are coming from a very different place than most guys that lean exclusively on online as a sex source and never do cold-approach in real life.

@Regal Tiger your answer was great and I get where you are coming from.

But I never believed that "results are all that matter" mantra.
What kind of results? Are you getting the women you really want or settling down for what you can get online?
If you are getting results, but is not improving or are not satisfied with the process, is that a point in keeping it exactly the same?
What if your results could improve? What if you could spend less time to get those results?
What if you could have some fun doing it?
What about when you get old?
Those are the questions I've always asked myself since I've learned about game and seduction.

I don't disagree there's a bit of active stuff on putting up a good profile and getting dates from apps.
You still have to text, sex talk, figure logistics, pace, kino, isolate, etc.
But once that set up is established and you figure it out, there's no more room for improvement.
You just keep repeating it over and over again (and get bored).

OTOH a lot of guys don't even reach that point for pure laziness.
They keep using online as a scapegoat for their inactivity towards improving themselves and getting to the women they really want to bang.
(not saying it's you, but you know what I mean)

Basically it's the old "online should be supplemental" story who's already been discussed before.
But it's also more than that, as the other guys pointed out.
When you become active in one aspect of your life (and for most guys it starts with seduction or fitness), it spills over to the other ones.
I had in mind more of a wake up call than a bash on any type of game when I wrote the op.
 
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POB

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
226
Location
South America
For some reason I simply do not expect women to make the right decisions and you almost never know clearly where she is in her head. So I go for compliance and take action. At the very least it gives me room to focus on something else if no compliance instead of wonder where she is mentally at.
Yes, this is the beauty of real time interaction!
Go for what you want and live with the results, rather than wait for a favorable wind.
 

DonGately

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Mar 16, 2020
Messages
100
Yeah, I never believed 'the results are all that matters' mantra either. You nailed it.

You can get: better results, faster results, kinkier results, more fun results, and be having more fun getting all of those results. Most guys would be ecstatic to go out and pull an 8 50% of the time. But what if that could be 90%? What if you could turn those 8s into 9s by changing it up?

What are your self-limiting beliefs? What if god himself came down and told you personally you could get a lot better at this? How would you change?
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
571
I think that I'm in a bit of a different boat from most guys you'll have this discussion with. Hope this response helps clarifies my position:

@Regal Tiger your answer was great and I get where you are coming from.

But I never believed that "results are all that matter" mantra.
What kind of results?
Sex with chicks I think are cute and/or hot.

I plan on leaving this country in a little under 2 years so I'm not really after a relationship. Don't get me wrong though, it would be nice and I'm not against one, but if I'm 'single' for those 2 years then I'll be perfectly happy as long as I'm getting laid along the way.

Are you getting the women you really want or settling down for what you can get online?
Last time I was online I got what I wanted as well as settled. I was able to squeeze in 3 weeks of online dating before I got flagged (nothing I was doing on the apps, it was all from previous life crap). Since it was even tinier an area than when I originally tried it I'm very curious what the results would be now that I'm in KC...

Sadly that test likely won't be happening. Oh well...
If you are getting results, but is not improving or are not satisfied with the process, is that a point in keeping it exactly the same?
If I get laid then I'm satisfied with the process. If I'm not getting laid that's when I'm unhappy with the process. Although there are grey areas.

For example, Daygame for these past two weeks has resulted in a few dates. Since I see improvement I'm not as concerned with it. But if I ever stall on those results then I'll be unhappy with it. Even now, I'm not happy with what I'm getting from it. But I am content since I'm seeing improvement.
What if your results could improve? What if you could spend less time to get those results?
Haha I work on improving, testing and tweaking EVERYTHING!

That's why I love online dating so much. I've got my system where I just plug it in and watch it go! Pretty much the only tweaks I can make nowadays is in the pictures. Sadly I didn't get a chance to role out my newest pictures I took this year :(

What if you could have some fun doing it?
I do have fun. When I'm getting laid.

If I'm not getting laid then I'm not having fun.

I'm really THAT simple.

What about when you get old?
I halfway expect myself to be dead before 60... so I don't even think about it.
Those are the questions I've always asked myself since I've learned about game and seduction.

I don't disagree there's a bit of active stuff on putting up a good profile and getting dates from apps.
You still have to text, sex talk, figure logistics, pace, kino, isolate, etc.
But once that set up is established and you figure it out, there's no more room for improvement.
You just keep repeating it over and over again (and get bored).
Poppycock!

There's always MORE to do with your pictures. Better quality, different poses, different outfits.

I've even experimented with something as stupidly simple as changing the brightness of the same picture and running those different versions through a few times. Though those tests were before I got some really good pictures. I never got the chance to re-do them with better pictures.

But that also includes changing the temperature of pictures. Also, the contrast (initial, small testing indicates that chicks don't like the contrast like I'm in love with, but again, much more testing needs to be done).

Then there's other stuff like, what kind of hobbies to include as well as different colors of your background!

There's SO MUCH that you can test lol. And I always got excited about seeing the results of those tests. I greatly enjoyed it.

But again, when a test came back negative I was always perturbed.
OTOH a lot of guys don't even reach that point for pure laziness.
They keep using online as a scapegoat for their inactivity towards improving themselves and getting to the women they really want to bang.
(not saying it's you, but you know what I mean)
100% agree

And it can become a crutch. For example, I'm noticing a few cracks within my daygame dates. There definitely is a different 'feel' with them. Online dates were easier and simpler in my opinion. Same thing when you go on dates having already established authority of some kind (for example, the strip club I went to and started dating one of the strippers as well as going to different swing dance events where I have instant authority having been a teacher in the past).

So I do enjoy the process of testing, tweaking and trying things. But no sex = frustration.

I do have a little bit of fun with daygame since I'm seeing progress. But there's still ultimately that little bit of frustration and annoyance as well. Especially when I actually like a girl's personality and it doesn't work out.

Example, coffee shop girl that I brought back to my place and got close to sex but it didn't happen. I'll never hear from her again.

Same thing goes with a girl from last night that I think I may have already messed up on. Time will tell but I don't think that one's going to happen either but we'll see.

That shit irritates me. But it's balanced out by a sense of progression as well as the fact that there's more to test. So I'm not exactly on a plateau with it which helps.
Basically it's the old "online should be supplemental" story who's already been discussed before.
But it's also more than that, as the other guys pointed out.
When you become active in one aspect of your life (and for most guys it starts with seduction or fitness), it spills over to the other ones.
I had in mind more of a wake up call than a bash on any type of game when I wrote the op.
And again, I think we agree on just about everything you're talking about. Guys do get too comfortable with online, and many, many men out there just default to it without seeing even moderate results. That hurts them.

So yeah, I don't feel like you've bashed anything, personally. I just wanted to speak up about the enjoying taking an active part in your life part in case anyone felt the same. Because I don't take enjoyment from the grind. It's annoying actually.

But that's just me.
 

topcat

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
230
I think that I'm in a bit of a different boat from most guys you'll have this discussion with. Hope this response helps clarifies my position:


Sex with chicks I think are cute and/or hot.

I plan on leaving this country in a little under 2 years so I'm not really after a relationship. Don't get me wrong though, it would be nice and I'm not against one, but if I'm 'single' for those 2 years then I'll be perfectly happy as long as I'm getting laid along the way.


Last time I was online I got what I wanted as well as settled. I was able to squeeze in 3 weeks of online dating before I got flagged (nothing I was doing on the apps, it was all from previous life crap). Since it was even tinier an area than when I originally tried it I'm very curious what the results would be now that I'm in KC...

Sadly that test likely won't be happening. Oh well...

If I get laid then I'm satisfied with the process. If I'm not getting laid that's when I'm unhappy with the process. Although there are grey areas.

For example, Daygame for these past two weeks has resulted in a few dates. Since I see improvement I'm not as concerned with it. But if I ever stall on those results then I'll be unhappy with it. Even now, I'm not happy with what I'm getting from it. But I am content since I'm seeing improvement.

Haha I work on improving, testing and tweaking EVERYTHING!

That's why I love online dating so much. I've got my system where I just plug it in and watch it go! Pretty much the only tweaks I can make nowadays is in the pictures. Sadly I didn't get a chance to role out my newest pictures I took this year :(


I do have fun. When I'm getting laid.

If I'm not getting laid then I'm not having fun.

I'm really THAT simple.


I halfway expect myself to be dead before 60... so I don't even think about it.

Poppycock!

There's always MORE to do with your pictures. Better quality, different poses, different outfits.

I've even experimented with something as stupidly simple as changing the brightness of the same picture and running those different versions through a few times. Though those tests were before I got some really good pictures. I never got the chance to re-do them with better pictures.

But that also includes changing the temperature of pictures. Also, the contrast (initial, small testing indicates that chicks don't like the contrast like I'm in love with, but again, much more testing needs to be done).

Then there's other stuff like, what kind of hobbies to include as well as different colors of your background!

There's SO MUCH that you can test lol. And I always got excited about seeing the results of those tests. I greatly enjoyed it.

But again, when a test came back negative I was always perturbed.

100% agree

And it can become a crutch. For example, I'm noticing a few cracks within my daygame dates. There definitely is a different 'feel' with them. Online dates were easier and simpler in my opinion. Same thing when you go on dates having already established authority of some kind (for example, the strip club I went to and started dating one of the strippers as well as going to different swing dance events where I have instant authority having been a teacher in the past).

So I do enjoy the process of testing, tweaking and trying things. But no sex = frustration.

I do have a little bit of fun with daygame since I'm seeing progress. But there's still ultimately that little bit of frustration and annoyance as well. Especially when I actually like a girl's personality and it doesn't work out.

Example, coffee shop girl that I brought back to my place and got close to sex but it didn't happen. I'll never hear from her again.

Same thing goes with a girl from last night that I think I may have already messed up on. Time will tell but I don't think that one's going to happen either but we'll see.

That shit irritates me. But it's balanced out by a sense of progression as well as the fact that there's more to test. So I'm not exactly on a plateau with it which helps.

And again, I think we agree on just about everything you're talking about. Guys do get too comfortable with online, and many, many men out there just default to it without seeing even moderate results. That hurts them.

So yeah, I don't feel like you've bashed anything, personally. I just wanted to speak up about the enjoying taking an active part in your life part in case anyone felt the same. Because I don't take enjoyment from the grind. It's annoying actually.

But that's just me.
we’re eerily similar my guy. I don’t have the same disdain for online as others, tinder’s been good to me (>80 lays). Once you’ve got your process down it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

The problem comes in that it weakens your front end (approaching, initial seduction). It handicaps your seductive skills, which is what i’m seeing now, and why I’ll double down on cold approach once i have the time again.

Best believe i’ll be running online on the side though. There’s nothing like fast pussy..
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
5,475
for online as others, tinder’s been good to me (>80 lays). Once you’ve got your process down it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

-.-"

Is your online profile a neon skeleton or something?

I really believe that online is different for everyone. You can only use the principles and tweak it until you got it.

z@c+
 

MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 13, 2019
Messages
134
I don't care how much society changes, or how much women get more open and sexualized...one thing will NEVER change:

- MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE TOWARDS SEDUCTION AND SEX

I won't get into a debate about how indirect you can be in-field...this is not the focus of this thread.
My point is, as much as seduction has changed in the last 10-15 years, one thing HAS always stayed the same:
- You gotta make the first move!

One of these days I was watching a react video about a 40ish year old Karen complaining about Bumble.
Her point was that women opening men ONLINE was an abhorrent of a situation!
Just think about it: she was complaining that men were "off the hook" to make the first move on a damn app lol.
And this takes us to my next point:

Online will always be inferior to live game because of the PASSIVE ROLE you are forced to take!
You cannot exert any masculine presence until you get a first date and it makes a HUGE difference!

It's been almost 2 years since my last online adventure.
Covid issues aside, what I've sensed since then is that my sex drive, reactions and sexualization have never been more raw, especially when I'm around women (including my main).
And the main reason for that is that I'm forced to be out in the open all the time and play a masculine role.
There are no cop-outs, no back-up plan...you have to go out and do it live!

Porn/IG/OnlyFans has also that same shitty effect...with the aggravation of it not being real sex, but only a projection of a fantasy that will never come true in real life!
Am I against porn? Of course not.
I just save it for very very special occasions.

MEN WHO PLAY AN ACTIVE ROLE ARE ALWAYS AHEAD OF THE COMPETITION

#Me Too, second wave feminism and LGBT movements have been trying to destroy masculinity since the dawn of ages.
Even so, this is not an excuse for us to not always play an active role and go after the women we want.
Society can do whatever the fuck it wants: it will never erase our primal feelings.

Think about rejection.

You go out, cold-approach and is "rejected".
Does it feel bad? Maybe, especially if you are uncalibrated and not getting results for a certain time.
But if you approach with purpose, and a little bit of game knowledge, I'm pretty sure you gonna feel good about yourself for having the guts to do what you wanted!
This is because you played the active role and pleased your masculine self.
You KNOW other guys are too scared to do that.
Buy not YOU.
Nobody can take that away!

Now think about online rejection.
Does it make you feel bad? Maybe.
But the odds are stacked against you right from the get go.
You simply don't have a choice but to play PASSIVE.
And passive is the more feminine role, so do the math.

Looks maximizing, getting in shape, staying healthy, learning game....all of this helps a lot!
Heck, once you get older (past 35) it's almost mandatory!
But only if you accept that, born a man, you gotta take action in your hands.
No amount of coaching or advice is gonna do the trick if you don't move and stay active!

Just my two cents.

~POB

You would think this but I think you and I are separated by a generation or so I’ll sprinkle some perspective.

One of the main ideas I’ll present is simply that women have more actual time and more actual income.

With women getting a fat pay check from divorces, or a fat pay check from only fans or a fat pay check from diversity hires I don’t exactly care. I have noticed through my recent dating experiences there are now women who make way more money then what I believe men fifteen to ten years ago are use to seeing.

Most men have to be responsible as a top priority. Even more now adays because one wrong move you’ll be shooting ak’s in the favellas or one wrong word and you’ll be lambasted on social media dealing with the endless drama crowd.

Men are suppose to be active towards women, yeah. Makes us seducers.

Women get a BBL and think to themselves they are the hottest shit ever but we know they aren’t.

Let’s maybe not take whatever women want as a face value trait nor what the propaganda wants us to be. Seduction is a choose your own adventure.

I’ll close with this poem.

Draw stick fiqures

Sing off key
Write bad poems
Sew ugly clothes
Run slow
Flirt clumsily
Play video games on easy
You do not need to be good at something
To enjoy the act
 
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