Solving an inner game paradox

[Spyce D]

I am really curious about a few things that are related to human pyschology.

1. We don't really want to improve/make drastic change unless we hit a rock bottom. So, when there is a feeling of not being able to get what we want is what brings the most motivation atleast in the initial stage of our journey.

2. But, we can't always have this feeling especially in seduction because it can make us look desperate atleast in the face of women that we are approaching.
As, if my vibe tells her that I am not happy with my current state cuz I get no women is definitely not going to help in getting her. If it did, desperation would do wonders. And not just with women but in every field. Can't go to job interview looking desperate.

So, it would mean that a man who is comfortable with his current state in life will have better chance of attracting and keeping women. But, doesn't being in comfort zone makes a man lose his motivation.

Hence, what I am really curious is how to actually be hungry for more while still being content with what I have?

Or is it that I am understanding these concepts in a completly wrong way. TBH, I am more confused as well as curious.

Is being in a comfort zone and being content completly different things?

Is it that we (atleast, some of us ) are actually not content in comfort zone and actually more comfortable when we are expanding our horizon.

 

[Spyce D]

Note: seems like after posting it here. I have solved it myself. Damn.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Man that's a great thread. I used to have this problem for sure... I'd always set goals, achieve them, start coasting, then things would fall apart, and I'd scramble to put them back together again... and the cycle repeats.

What got me over this was to really get in touch with my purpose in life. I've set a goal so big that it's questionable if it can be done in one life time at all. But it's going to keep me going indefinitely, that's for sure.

 

[Spyce D]

Man that's a great thread. I used to have this problem for sure... I'd always set goals, achieve them, start coasting, then things would fall apart, and I'd scramble to put them back together again... and the cycle repeats.

What got me over this was to really get in touch with my purpose in life. I've set a goal so big that it's questionable if it can be done in one life time at all. But it's going to keep me going indefinitely, that's for sure.

Been a Long time, man.

How are you?

I get what you are saying and damn it's quite interesting to hear.

That when you have such a big purpose, then you will actually feel happy pursuing it hence there would never be this paradoxical issue.

I can definitely add this to my life even more.

What I realised after posting this thread was that initially we are motivated by the pain but after a specific time when we have been doing something then our emotional base level changes ( we no longer associate ourselves with that pain as strongly as this new identity which came after we repeatedly did whatever we started) ... So, maybe that's why we get in a habit of achieving ( rather than failing) and we don't want to stop it cuz it's our new self.

I was reading psycho-cybernetics too so got this idea from there.

 

[Just a Man]

What got me over this was to really get in touch with my purpose in life. I've set a goal so big that it's questionable if it can be done in one life time at all. But it's going to keep me going indefinitely, that's for sure.

Yup. This absolutely.

 

[D. Gately]

I disagree with the premise of 1. At least in regards to pick-up. I just want to improve my process, filtering, night game, kino, approach all the time. No need to hit 'rock bottom,' if my IRL approaches succeed 50% of the time how can I get to 60%? That sort of thing.