Yet another Tryst style pointless theoretical diatribe coming. I'm at home all day studying, so I'm at my computer a lot. At least I get to go out tonight. All the practical advice I give is in the old Mystery Method indirect school of thought. Maybe if you want to go direct it's not entirely applicable.
"You're so brave for approaching me."
- I get to decide you are brave
- you are trying to sleep/seduce me by approaching me (this is a confusing one, because cold approach takes balls and very few men do it right )
- it is indeed brave to approach me ( becuase i am higher value )
- in short i decide that it was brave to approach a girl like me, as compared to other girls, as by approaching me you chase me
I see it more as:
- It is brave to approach me, because approaching is scary
- Approaching is scary because you are some random chump, and I am a beautiful woman
- Like all the other chumps, you are terrified and nervous around me, but you were brave enough to face your fears and approach. And I think that's cute.
- Approaching me is a big deal, it's something that you thought about a lot. I appreciate the effort, but no thanks. Keep trying though!
In short, you're only brave because approaching her is scary, and it's only scary because she's obviously higher value than you. That's her frame: by calling you brave, she cements herself as the prize. I'm not saying she intentionally planned this, she probably really believes that she is the prize over you, and because she really believes it, she really believes that you are brave for approaching.
You've given off the vibe that you see yourself as lower value than her, or you didn't and this is just some crazy frame control. But other women have said similar things, so you're giving off a lower value, but cute vibe.
Brave in this context is like the shaking farmboy taking up his scythe to try and fend off the dragon who is about to eat his sister. The farmboy knows he doesn't stand a chance, but instead of cowering and dying, he chooses to fight. He's brave. But he doesn't stand a chance. You feel for him, you respect him for what he did, but he was never ever ever going to slay the dragon. It makes for a nice story though. You see what I'm trying to say?
AND start learning rock solid frame control - to turn the tables on this hot girl frame, so that she starts seeing me as the authority.
Frame control starts from the moment you say hi. It's the vibe you give off, which shows what you truly, deep down, believe about the world. Your vibe should say something like "I am obviously the coolest guy in the room. You guys are probably cool too, but I don't know that yet." It shouldn't come off like you're
trying to say you're cool, it's not like you're showing off, or being obnoxious, or saying that's what you believe. In fact you're not even consciously aware you're the coolest. But it's obvious that you are.
If you give off this vibe, other people will receive it, and ideally, accept the frame that you're cool. How do we give off this vibe on a cold approach?
- Non-neediness: You're a cool guy who already has everything he wants. You're never gonna bother someone else and suck up their energy, you have plenty to give out. I accomplish this with stuff like indirect openers and false time constraints. I was just leaving, I don't really care to be around that girl, I'm not trying to get anything from her. Practise body rocking and FTCs.
- Value-giving: When you enter the conversation, you're not saying boring shit. "So, what's your name? Where are you from? What do you work as?" You don't have time to waste on boring small talk. Instead, you're talking to share and have a good time. You're playing games, sharing cool anecdotes, teasing people for your own amusement, and connecting with people who seem worthwhile. Other people react to the value you give, and enjoy it. Practise a few teases or memorise some routines.
- Unreactive: You're so cool that when people try to fuck with you, it doesn't even affect your mental state at all. You never feel negged, you pass shit tests, you naturally AMOG, when people try to set frames on you that you don't agree with, you never fall into them. Your own frames are unshakeable and other people fall into them. Hoop theory. Pay attention to shit tests and hoops.
- You neg: A neg is an expression of how you deep down perceive your value as compared to the other person's. If you try to obviously brag about your value or put someone else down, it comes off like you're compensating for low value. But the neg seems like it just came out without thinking; something an obviously higher value person would naturally say. You don't really try to make sure you don't say anything that might shake the other person, because you don't really care that much, because you're not seeking their approval. A girl asks you what your first impression of her was, and you say Johnny Depp because she's wearing a funny red bandana. You didn't even realise that what you're saying could be interpreted as an insult, because you're not even in the headspace of trying to make sure she feels good. You just don't care that much. But people feel good around you anyway, without you even trying. Learn some negs. If yo
So the vibe isn't just some immaterial unknowable thing. You can actually create it with concrete steps that can be learned. I am now naturally a
lot cooler than I was a year ago, and I get a lot more interest from women, even when I'm not even
thinking about game. I just practised concrete steps and now I am naturally a higher value and cooler guy. Frame control isn't some specific technique to be learned - it's a constant ongoing process, which works through the entire vibe you give off.
If your vibe was obviously cooler and higher value than hers, she wouldn't even
think that you're brave. It would just seem natural and obvious that you can approach her if you feel like it. You'd have no reason to be scared.
Now, my friend, i have a question here. How can i put more push into my interaction WITHOUT coming across as needy? i don't think i have done any needy behavior (in fact, i have been a bit careful in my approaches - i stand at a bit of a distance from the girl, try to respect personal space etc)
Push is inherently non needy. It's when you're showing
disinterest in the girl. If you want to ask how to add pull into the interaction without it being needy, simple:
- Balance your pull with push: You're interested in her, but it's clearly not that big a deal to you because you're also pushing her away (FTCs, negs, statements of disinterest, non-compliance). (Notice how this is just a rephrase of what I said before? Push-pull is the
same thing as having a cool, high value vibe.)
-
Pull in a cool, non-calculated, non-supplicating way: You're not giving her a compliment because you want something from her, you're not buying her a drink to get a chance to talk to her, you're not gushing with praise to make her feel good so she'll like you. Instead, you have genuine emotions that at appropriate times guide you to indicate interest. She tells you how she's an expert violinist, and you just can't help but lean in and grin, asking "Really? I used to love the violin- I can't play anymore but I still adore classical music. Who's your favourite musician?" That sentence is a massive pull, but does it come off as needy, am I trying to get anything? Or are we just naturally and unconsciously building the vibe together?
- Tryst
Yaxir
