Tense facial expression

FunGuy

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Feb 5, 2020
Messages
53
Long story short, my face always looks EXTREMELY tense, no matter how hard I try to relax it. I literally look like Kawhi Leonard (hence the username and avatar pic). There is nothing that particularly triggers this, its just like this all the time.

Just wondering if anyone had the same problem and found a way to fix this? Any tips would be appreciated, thanks :)
 

greenleaf

Space Monkey
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Dec 26, 2019
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106
you mean resting bitch face? I have this. I doubt it's a deal breaker? (I think it's a skeletal issue for me. Like a mixture of overbite, small chin and naturally downturned lips) - Might make a girl less likely to open you though, maybe? (although I guess most guys won't ever get opened anyway unless they are stupid handsome lol, so largely irrelevant)

I just try to remind myself to lightly smile/smirk (but not too much. Don't want to look like some weird lol) whilst i'm standing around or whatever
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
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Nov 11, 2019
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576
This is bad for your expressiveness and thus overall results. Fortunately, it is easy to remove. You can massage it away, there are multiple videos on massaging facial tension away at youtube. After this, you can try to be deliberately overexpressive in the mirror, to imprint new movement patterns. Also I recommend my thread on body-oriented therapy. The TRE mentioned into it will affect your face if you do it over time. And if your face is stiff you are likely tense in other parts of the body.

 

Tony D

Tribal Elder
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Jul 26, 2018
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286
Asian poker face is a thing. I always ask them to watch old Bruce Lee interviews. He was the master of using his facial muscles to express himself, and I'm sure it took practice. He really over emphasizes his expressions. Not sure if it's the same for you.
 

FunGuy

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Feb 5, 2020
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Thanks guys for the replies, I highly appreciate it :)

you mean resting bitch face? I have this. I doubt it's a deal breaker? (I think it's a skeletal issue for me. Like a mixture of overbite, small chin and naturally downturned lips) - Might make a girl less likely to open you though, maybe? (although I guess most guys won't ever get opened anyway unless they are stupid handsome lol, so largely irrelevant)

I just try to remind myself to lightly smile/smirk (but not too much. Don't want to look like some weird lol) whilst i'm standing around or whatever
Yeah sometimes it can come off like that, I get asked all the time why I am so serious etc. Definitely going to put in more effort to smile more. I am usually very aloof to these things, but I am starting to take it serious now because I am noticing it makes people uncomfortable around me.
This is bad for your expressiveness and thus overall results. Fortunately, it is easy to remove. You can massage it away, there are multiple videos on massaging facial tension away at youtube. After this, you can try to be deliberately overexpressive in the mirror, to imprint new movement patterns. Also I recommend my thread on body-oriented therapy. The TRE mentioned into it will affect your face if you do it over time. And if your face is stiff you are likely tense in other parts of the body.
Thanks for the link bro, very useful information. There is a 40 minute youtube video on there, are those TRE exercises? I am a bit confused about the implementation.
Asian poker face is a thing. I always ask them to watch old Bruce Lee interviews. He was the master of using his facial muscles to express himself, and I'm sure it took practice. He really over emphasizes his expressions. Not sure if it's the same for you.
Bruce Lee was an amazing guy, the amount of discipline he had is inspirational. I am going to try out being more expressive, even if it feels weird and forced. I have noticed in the past few days my vibe has been better when I force a smile so I will continue to do this.
 

Mike Silvertree

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You should look into Mindfulness Meditation. There are tons of videos on it. I prefer to meditate on breathing. Sit in a quiet room in your favorite chair, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing and the physical sensations of the moment. The sounds of your room, the way the chair presses against you, the way your clothes rub against you as you breath, and so forth. When you find you are talking to yourself in your head, refocus on the above to quiet the inner dialog. It will get easier with time.

Do this a few minutes a day. This teaches you to relax and to focus on the here and now. it teaches you to be present in the here and now which will improve your interactions with other people. It will ease the inner tension that drives your outer behavior. It will raise your perceived status. The lion is relaxed because he is not afraid. Tension is what prey feel all the time.
 

FunGuy

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
53
You should look into Mindfulness Meditation. There are tons of videos on it. I prefer to meditate on breathing. Sit in a quiet room in your favorite chair, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing and the physical sensations of the moment. The sounds of your room, the way the chair presses against you, the way your clothes rub against you as you breath, and so forth. When you find you are talking to yourself in your head, refocus on the above to quiet the inner dialog. It will get easier with time.

Do this a few minutes a day. This teaches you to relax and to focus on the here and now. it teaches you to be present in the here and now which will improve your interactions with other people. It will ease the inner tension that drives your outer behavior. It will raise your perceived status. The lion is relaxed because he is not afraid. Tension is what prey feel all the time.
Yeah, I read a book about charisma that has that same technique. Apparently on tv/movie sets there is always a room where actors can go to meditate and strongly envision themselves as being the character that they are supposed to portray. I need to improve my meditation, what is a good source to learn more?
 

Mike Silvertree

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I got a bunch of downloaded audio files from a friend more than 10 years ago. They helped a lot. They were by this guy. He is an American who was a math and engineering nerd college student, but he switched the focus of his life, went to Asia, entered a Buddhist Monastery, studied for a decade, and became a Monk. He then brought back his knowledge to us.

He is a good starting point. But the method I outlined, you can try tonight. Turn the music and TV off, turn the lights down, and sit in your favorite chair. Three minutes. You gotta start somewhere. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

 

FunGuy

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
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I got a bunch of downloaded audio files from a friend more than 10 years ago. They helped a lot. They were by this guy. He is an American who was a math and engineering nerd college student, but he switched the focus of his life, went to Asia, entered a Buddhist Monastery, studied for a decade, and became a Monk. He then brought back his knowledge to us.

He is a good starting point. But the method I outlined, you can try tonight. Turn the music and TV off, turn the lights down, and sit in your favorite chair. Three minutes. You gotta start somewhere. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

Thank you bro!! I highly appreciate it :D
 

Michal

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Jul 5, 2013
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265
Yea. Resting douche face or resting hitman face is a thing. Just like you, I am often told I look serious. Often people do not sit next to me on a train or a bus unless other seats are already taken. It really makes you less approachable. But it also does not put people at easy and that is bigger factor I would say.

I noticed that after a good orgasm, my face gets really relaxed.
After work out I seem more at ease as well.
When I see people smiling or in a happy, satisfied mood it wears off me as well.
And of course meditation.
And then alcohol. Half a beer is enough for me.
There was a technique I think Elliott Hulse mentioned where you open your mouth as much (and as wide) as you can as if you wanted to eat a tree. Stretching and tapping releaves the stress.

While I have read in a lot of articles either here or elsewere that serious guys tend to be more attractive due to generating more mystery and masculanity, I have contrary experience. The smiling easy going happy guys seem to have more success. Of course there is a time to be serious and a time to be approachable. So I think it is good that you want to tackle this. I am starting to prioritize this more as well.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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Jun 9, 2019
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815
have you tried yoga? when i spend too much time in the gym and not enough time stretching my face tenses up and it’s a game killer.
 
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