The Ladykiller Chronicles

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
536
Location
New York City
Went out with the goal of approaching yesterday, but was ultimately incapable of doing so. AA was extremely strong. Have done TRE these last three days, so will continue going out, with a focus on doing a few days of mass approaching to build up the go for it muscle.

Today, only did one approach worth mentioning.


#1

I'm wearing light blue jeans with a white linen shirt, and black zipper chelseas. I notice a girl standing outside one of my favorite bars, one that I'm considering going into. I walk over, and look into the bar's lobby, there are signs saying it's closed for a private event. I stand, take out my phone, and pretend to look over it.

The girl is dressed in light pants, and a tight fitting top. Blonde, very attractive.

I open with a question, "Do you know how the vibe is here on Tuesdays?" and transition it into something more, intending to pace the feeling of want to go somewhere and not having it occur, but it's very uncalibrated, and does not come off as smooth. Then it's a large amount of small talk, and very boring and uninteresting.

I think a better option here, would have been to start with interest bait.

Me: Do you know what I find... fascinating (slowly turn head to her on the last word)
Her: No, what?
Me: Have you ever noticed... how as the days get shorter, and it becomes dark faster... that the energy in the city... is almost amplified? As if the people are fighting to keep the dark... and gloom, at bay
Her: That's true, I think
Me: The way you say that... makes me think you... might not be from around here (said with a rueful/playful tonality)
Her: No haha, I'm from San Francisco
Me: I get that vibe from you... You actually seem to pay attention to the things... and the people... that intrigue you. A lot of people, once they've lived somewhere for a while, lose this sense of wonder that traveling can give you. Does that make sense?

Already we can see how much more interesting, and intriguing I could have made myself. I look amazing right now, fitter than ever, and more toned than before (though I still have ways to go in building my physique).

Despite my non-stellar opening, and conversation, I could see her shift her positioning to give me more attention, and her pupils were quite dilated as we talked.

While I do beat myself up over this, I need to remain positive and note that my biggest issue after a break is AA, and that in this case, doing approaches and building that momentum is important, so I have to view this as a victory in and of itself.



Instadate girl with a boyfriend has been texting me with fairly high amounts of investment/excitement, and hopefully I will meet her tomorrow.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
536
Location
New York City
2 approaches today.

Still AA, and bad vibe/voice, but feeling more social engagement levels. I need to project my voice more confidently, and keep in mind the meta-frame of me being the prize. Additionally I've noted some bad habits.

I move my head around too much while walking. I also spend too much time deliberating on who to compare a person to. To the first issue, I need to drill into me that I must keep my head straight and still, and as soon as I go to move my head-THAT'S when I have to open. No hesitation, no pauses. Just a wry smile and an intriguing opener. I've also started researching more actresses, so that I don't have to think so much. I'm hoping to build the spectrum of female faces so that I can knowingly apply an actress to a person without needing to spend so much time thinking.

I also wait far too long before opening. I need to be crisper and faster when in this situation in order to make it smoother and more natural.

Voice projection the issue is timidity holding me back. I need to be fully, 100%, unashamed and unabashed.
 
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Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
536
Location
New York City
Quick note today:

Once you’ve walked past her, let her soak your presence for moments (3-5 seconds) then open, otherwise it will become awkward. This is what has been pointed out to me and what I need to start making adjustments on.
 

Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
536
Location
New York City
Went out with friends for the night.

I don't know why, but my mood is in an extremely depressed state right now. It's strange because I've been going through an amazing winning streak in all aspects of life right now. I'm fit, my work is giving me more and more responsibility with ample opportunity to advance, I'm winning competitions with friends.

Tonight I had one great interaction with a girl, and a great lead as a girl basically told me to open her. And yet, I feel hollow.

Need to diagnose where these feelings are coming from-are they a symptom of having too many people I'm close to affecting my ego and societal conformation? Or is it an internal thing that requires lifestyle changes to fix?

 
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fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
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Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,294
Location
north america
the issue is related to sexual frame as opposed to social frame-at least with regards to girls not replying to my initial message. This is part of the reason I think my direct game days led to more dates, as the frame of man-to-women is set on the first few words, though you lose out on your own power. Hence my desire to switch to indirect, but resulting in a loss of that man-to-woman sexual frame. Curious on your thoughts here as well.

Whether its social frame or sexual frame causing this hiccup [or both!], the underlying issue is lack of framing, so you will benefit from setting more frames overall.

What indirect sexual frames have you added in, or are considering adding in, to replace the M2W frame?

Let me outline my texting guide that I've followed so far.

And after looking at how Todd V texts (after receiving information from a wing that my texts appear needy), switched to this (same time interval):

Me: Hey X it's Kvothe

If I were a girl getting that text 45 minutes later from a guy I met who I really liked, I'd be......

.....disappointed.

It's formal, anti-climatic, and boring. I would say, save it for the sets where you were both apathetic about each other. But even then..... if both of you weren't digging it, theres little purpose in exchanging numbers.

Take numbers from girls where its clear you like each other, and text them something personable and warm instantly:
FOG: hi HB super nice to meet you :) - fog
HB: super nice to meet you too fog :)

Now onto your follow up from the icebreaker:
Since I usually day game in the evenings, I would send another message the next day, usually around 10:30-11AM, with some question/follow up based on whatever we had talked about the evening before.

You've got the right idea to follow up your icebreaker text with a topic based off of whatever you had talked about in-person.

However, that topic should not be something boring like chores and studying as you did directly below....that will make her panties dryer than the saharan desert.

Saturday
Me: (On insta-date) Kvothe
Me: (2 hours post insta-date @ 5PM): Were you able to get any studying done before dinner? ;)
Her: (@9:19PM): Unfortunately I did not
Her: (@9:19PM): But I did walk around a lot and it was great

Sunday
Me: (@4:50PM): An excellent way to whet the appetite
Me: (@4:50PM): So "present you" was left to take care of all the chores "past you" ignored today haha?
Her: (@5:35PM): yeah ig (I guess) but I got some stuff done today
Me: (@6:43PM): Wish I could say the same... sleep deprivation is a killer lol

Ideally, recall the high point or something meaningful she had told you about herself, and continue along the same lines. Like so:

FRIDAY
FOG:
super nice to meet you HB :) - fog
HB: likewise :) you'll have to lmk if you think of the person with the vibe, im curious now
SATURDAY
FOG:
HB, do you know what i've just realized?
HB: what have you realized??
FOG: ok so remember how we were talking about....how you had quit social media?
HB: yes i do recall that conversation
FOG: oh thank goodness. well i dont think you told me exactly what drove you to quit (normally i could guess but with you i have no idea!)
HB: Part of it was bc I just couldn’t handle seeing more and more bad news day after day….ive gotten so accustomed to it at this point I never really realized how much negativity it can bring into life. Also just sick of how fake everything is on the internet, and it started feeling really pointless + I had no interest anymore.
HB: i also learned that spending 2 hours a day on ur phone is the equivalent of losing an entire month of the year so realizing that was the final tipping point, just felt like there were better things I could find to fill my time
HB: What do u think about it? Id be intrigued to hear your thoughts about social media and the internet and such

If you can't think of a high point or something meaningful to her, then you need to go back and work on creating those moments to bring up later down the line in your texting.
 
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Kvothe

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
536
Location
New York City
Thanks @fog, appreciate the advice and will try to use it going forward.

Did two seated opens yesterday. Main thing I need to fix is that I need to talk less in the beginning. I talk too much, but also interrupt a girl responding to me to continue talking. It's important to remember it's a conversation.

Will be going out again this week and hopefully to enjoy Halloweekend.

Was in the shower and was thinking about a gambit I'm trying to come up with. I've been reading My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday, and I think it can be weaved into a conversation to do a lot of good things.



Start off with a weasel phrase, introducing a conversation you had with a female friend, where she tells you about this book she's been reading. I'm not sure if this falls into the realm of proxies, but it seems low risk since you aren't actually discussing her own sexuality, you're discussing a wider group of female sexuality.

There's also a little bit of intrigue and making her work to hear about the book in question.

Me: I was talking with a friend recently, and she recommended a books she's found fascinating.
Her: Oh, what is it about?
Me: It's a little bit risque of a topic, is that okay?
Her: Sure!
Me: She recommended me this book, it's called "My Secret Garden" by a feminist author in the 50s or so. The book is basically an in depth look into female sexuality and female sexual fantasies. My friend said it was extremely incisive.
Her: Really?
Me: The author apparently reached out to various women, across the spectrum of society, and asked them to share their sexual fantasies anonymously with her. Many did, and the author was apparently able to group them into different archetypes and genres. Do you know the most interesting thing my friend said about the book though?
The above gives a way that I think should allow the transition to a good subject, without running into resistance along the way.

From here, we can go into something juicier, and talk about women's sexuality and how women aren't allowed by society to be sexual. And then contrast ourselves against men while discussing the Madonna-Whore complex.

Her: What?
Me: She was describing the reaction some of these women had when asked by the author, and a huge portion of the women mentioned how they had never told a soul about any of their fantasies-as far as their partners, their friends, and society was concerned, they were pristine, asexual angels. But the fantasies they shared showed that that image they put up was completely and utterly false. What was even more interesting was that the women who did feel comfortable with the people they were with, with the partners who allowed them to feel liberated, to feel unapologetically sexual... who accepted them and knew that this is how a woman's sexuality is... with them, they were able to let themselves go in this moment, to lose themselves in these feelings and the pleasure with a non-judgmental partner.
Her: That makes a lot of sense.
Me: My friend told me she felt the author had really identified something that she felt a lot of men she's met are guilty of. She'll go out on a date with a guy like that for dinner and while she may like a guy, she feels like she has to keep her sensual side guarded and protected, if he might judge her for showing it. Such a sad thing to feel you have to hide, really. And then she also told me when she goes out to a bar at night, all of a sudden it's like she's being treated like a piece of meat, with those same guys groping at her and being boorish. It sometimes feels difficult to win in that situation, doesn't it?
Her: Yeah, I totally get that, it sucks when it happens.
Me: She felt that it kind of explained why the women in the book, who had partners who understood and appreciated women's sexuality, sounded so much happier than the women who had to hide that side of themselves from the people around them.
So I think this above section should do a lot of things to let a woman feel allowed to be sexual with you, and is doing it covertly, since the conversation is still about a discussion you've had with a friend (and the friend had brought it up to you).

I think it should be possible to move this into discretion frames/secret society as well, or perhaps just switching topics to fractionate at this point too.

Maybe a simple comment to finish off the conversation like below:

Me: You know what I find funny about the last thing my friend said?
Her: What?
Me: Apparently, even the women who had accepting and open partners, kept their sexuality and openness hidden from society at large. And for that matter, so did the partners. This secret that they shared, this mutual understanding between the two of them, allowed them to experience something with each other that's a rare occurrence for most people in society.
Me: What about you though, has anyone suggested anything interesting to read recently?
 
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