The Ladykiller Chronicles

[Kvothe]

Truly feeling like a failure. Now from comparing myself to myself in the past. Stuck between things I want professionally and things I want sexually. Between what my family expects/wants from me, and what I care about.

Life isn't just about fucking women, but without it, I don't truly care about achieving the rest.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Truly feeling like a failure. Now from comparing myself to myself in the past. Stuck between things I want professionally and things I want sexually. Between what my family expects/wants from me, and what I care about.

Life isn't just about fucking women, but without it, I don't truly care about achieving the rest.

Hey dude! If you don't mind can you expand a bit on this?

I feel like I am at some similar juncture. I am trying to get into a new line of work and learning new skills professionally. But I also badly want to get my dating life back on track. Internally, I feel if I concentrate on dating hardcore over the next year, I will be more happy as that is the harder skill to get down but at the same time, I do have pressure or rather expectations from family and to be honest from myself as well to bag a job and start moving upwards in the new field simultaneously.

Ideally I envision my daily routine to be something like this.

I work and do my regular shit from 9-5 or 6 pm. Take a bit of a breather and then just walk around the city centre from 7-9 pm and approach girls and then get back relax and go to bed. If I had a date, I would schedule it in the same 7-9 pm timezone if it is a week day or on weekends. I want to hit the gym a couple of times a week but I regularly do some 15-20 minutes of HIIT at home just before jumping into the shower and I think for me now that is good enough.

This is what I am envisioning to get to as a sort of balanced lifestyle that can be sustained for years, Main thing is to be able to handle all the emotions that come with rejection and flakes and ghosts and brush them off as part of the process and not let them fuck up my routine and just sticking to this. I am trying to work towards this. Would love to hear what you are thinking.

 

[Kvothe]

Out with covid the past week...

Did one soggy wet noodle approach today

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[Skills]

Truly feeling like a failure. Now from comparing myself to myself in the past. Stuck between things I want professionally and things I want sexually. Between what my family expects/wants from me, and what I care about.

Life isn't just about fucking women, but without it, I don't truly care about achieving the rest.

I went through this, at the end you have to do you and what makes you happy after, the family will fall in your frame similar dynamic of with women...

 

[Kvothe]

Had a very solid day of approaching yday, but was bad today with anxiety.

In terms of improvement when I am doing well-getting girls to invest in the conversation is an important part of the hook. Right now, I lead the interaction and am fun, but I am missing a sexual vibe, but also the girl needs to start investing to get more improvements and higher returns.

 

[Kvothe]

Need to calibrate sex talk with deep diving. Went too quickly on sex talk, and state crashed because I hadn't build up the social frame. Good reminder.

My mental state is a work in progress-focusing on counteracting the poisonous inner monologue with positive rebuttals, and working to change my current stimulus-response to change it from being paralyzed when approaching to being excited, passionate, sexually vibing.

Other good note is that I felt strong sexual desire when in set today.

 

[Kvothe]

Many approaches today, strong momentum. Rewiring work is improving.

Issues with hooking specifically, or would have had better results. Need to read up on and implement hook tech to increase percentage of number close + number conversion probability.

Currently too much "hail marying" of asking girls out, instead of getting her to invest and then making the ask a more natural thing.

Additionally cut out the apologisms-no "excuse mes" cut that bs out. Openers gotta be more focused-about her, her vibe, or the way she moves through space.

Add in golden question to jumpstart loop-and practice some riffing to improve that segment.

 

[Kvothe]

5 approaches yesterday 1 number. Approached a truly gorgeous girl but got in my head and ejected too quickly. Need to improve my approaching and similarly improve hook tech. Did improve on having girl invest into me yesterday, but felt more lucky than skilled.

In terms of mistakes that are basic but that I'm doing badly-moving the conversational focus to be about her has to be pretty high. Need to resharpen conversational skills to improve that, and basically recalibrate. I think I need to shut up a bit haha.

 

[Kvothe]

Goal setting:
For the next 10 days:

• 10 approaches per day-the first 10 approaches must be direct, genuine interest on something about her. If nothing found, default to cute. The goal is to get my approach muscle working.
• No "excuse me" on the approach
• For the next 10 days, follow 3 second rule-open uncalibrated if must

The logic for the above is to forget about a lot of things, and just get approaching on instinct. This tends to be easier on weekends than weekdays for me, but it is what it is. 100 approaches over 10 days to get myself set. After the first 10 direct approaches, I can relax the rules and open how I want, but for the first 10, regardless of attractiveness of girl, I must open genuine interest direct. Any "excuse me" restarts the count.

 

[Kvothe]

Completed goal today - 17 approaches (Made 3, then did fourth approach with "excuse me" and had to restart, then did another 10 approaches). Did a few more after on my own time.

To elucidate a bit on what the end state is-I realize that my best seductions, and the ones that felt the most wonderful, all had the vibe of "it just happened", even if I had instigated it. I want to move towards that being my end goal, where seductions are dances that "just happen" without the appearance of conscious thought (wow big epiphany seeing as I've reading the site that preaches sprezzatura). But that's the end goal.

To get to that goal, I need to first be able to be someone that can approach instinctively, smoothly, and bring girls into my world. So the first step is to get approaching instinctive, and then to make them feel more natural. It is very difficult for me to do both at the same time, evidenced by past attempts, but doing one at a time is easier. Hence the 10 day 100 approach goal. From there, I will diagnose the lowest hanging fruit that ought to have the highest impact-sharing some in-fields with some good friends to get their feedback.

I'm hoping that setting of small, reasonable goals will help me better build towards a strong successful year ahead. It's been a shitty year, and I'm looking forward to setting myself up for a more thoughtful, more consistent period in my life.

 

[Glow]

Kudos for your continued action taking @Kvothe - impressive discipline!

To elucidate a bit on what the end state is-I realize that my best seductions, and the ones that felt the most wonderful, all had the vibe of "it just happened", even if I had instigated it. I want to move towards that being my end goal, where seductions are dances that "just happen" without the appearance of conscious thought (wow big epiphany seeing as I've reading the site that preaches sprezzatura). But that's the end goal.

To your point we discussed what we called the stumble upon back in Nextasf where we as seducers created an opening that was experienced by the girls as if we just stumbled upon her. Both Bacchus and i used it very actively. Bacchus developed a version of the hover we called "materialisations" where you materialise next to the girl seemingly not attuned to her.. making her see you with you appearing focussed on something else, and then looking up or slowly towards her in a slow cobraish fashion creating a 50 shades types striking eye contact or an "oh hey" moment often in a more stationary side by side situation enabling better chat ups. Ijjji discussed this stumble upon a lot too and i think he coined it back in the days.

Just to say you can build this up in your entry lines of your day game openings eg in metros, busstops at counters, isles and the likes. The walk-in is a very deliberate positioning in her line of sight demanding a confident control and walk-in to tension filled position especially if socially in eg a metro.

 

[Kvothe]

Kudos for your continued action taking @Kvothe - impressive discipline!



To your point we discussed what we called the stumble upon back in Nextasf where we as seducers created an opening that was experienced by the girls as if we just stumbled upon her. Both Bacchus and i used it very actively. Bacchus developed a version of the hover we called "materialisations" where you materialise next to the girl seemingly not attuned to her.. making her see you with you appearing focussed on something else, and then looking up or slowly towards her in a slow cobraish fashion creating a 50 shades types striking eye contact or an "oh hey" moment often in a more stationary side by side situation enabling better chat ups. Ijjji discussed this stumble upon a lot too and i think he coined it back in the days.

Just to say you can build this up in your entry lines of your day game openings eg in metros, busstops at counters, isles and the likes. The walk-in is a very deliberate positioning in her line of sight demanding a confident control and walk-in to tension filled position especially if socially in eg a metro.

Thanks @Glow - that's exactly the vibe I'm aiming for. I love bacchus material-however every time I've tried go straight into using it, the approach anxiety kicks in massively-and I end up not taking any action instead. I know some people are great at stepping straight into some of these, but I have difficulty with it. So I'm trying to work to it more gradually and I suppose "stumble upon" it in my practices.

There are many bad habits I have that actively hurt this frame-such as looking about a lot (vulture eyes as teevs calls it), fidgety hands, and some random facial tics. Working on mentally shutting those down-along with the poor mental frames by being more cognizant.

---

Today I went out, and was able to go to the gym too. Small wins such as they are. Afterwards ate healthy, then went out with the goal of making 10 approaches, without any apologisms.

I made it to 5, and then it started raining, which dampened my morale and desire to stay out vs getting dry. I did one more approach on the walk home, bringing the tally up to 6. I'm still above 20 for two days, and tomorrow there is slated to be more rain, but the goal is to hit 30 by the end of tomorrow.

Tracking calories as well to try and cut some weight, while continuing some multi-orgasmic man exercises (basically masturbation without ejaculation- #noEjac as I will call it).

Observations to improve, but not for main focus at this point:

• Let the girl talk-stop interrupting her and not letting her speak-let her contribute. In this, I think I need to overcorrect to old school GC advice and aim to have her do 70% of the talking, and basically focus on leading the conversation. I used to be good, but have become rusty as I started being more interactive in the conversation. But I've probably gone too far and need to dial it back.
• Stop with the premature ejectulation. I should aim to follow Tony D's advice and stay in set for at least 2 minutes. Build my comfort with the ambiguity and tension instead of running away.
• Lower standards a bit. Related to above-but I can fuck a woman even if I am not fully attracted/want her for a gf

 

[Kvothe]

Did 10 approaches on Wednesday. I feel the approach anxiety acutely, and ended up having to force myself into each approach. I also self ejected out of most of them right after delivery. I really think it's silly how seriously (and negatively) my body and mind are treating something that should be fun and exciting.

I'm also disliking direct approaches more and more. No artistry, no frame, and a bit boring.

Yesterday I did one approach in the afternoon without hesitation and with excitement-I seem to have a much easier time approaching during the day, so will try to get out and approach earlier today. After work I had some recovery work for the injury I'm working through so wasn't able to approach after that.

 

[Glow]

Thanks @Glow - that's exactly the vibe I'm aiming for. I love bacchus material-however every time I've tried go straight into using it, the approach anxiety kicks in massively-and I end up not taking any action instead. I know some people are great at stepping straight into some of these, but I have difficulty with it. So I'm trying to work to it more gradually and I suppose "stumble upon" it in my practices.

There are many bad habits I have that actively hurt this frame-such as looking about a lot (vulture eyes as teevs calls it), fidgety hands, and some random facial tics. Working on mentally shutting those down-along with the poor mental frames by being more cognizant.

Fair,
But maybe the training you need should pinpoint some key points of your securities Eg to obtain comfort in what i label "the positioning" or the walk-in where you position your self in a visual spot adjacent to a particular girl. Creating a particluar hover that enables the next move. As in training to be in a pressure situaion only. With no pressure to engage any chick yet? One pressure situation at a time.

i took a stroll myself today in a metro where i just got used to not giving a f about social pressures in my head. Things my mind project onto people while walking around in a metro. I just trained to walk where i wanted to stand, move in close to hotties and standing like i was a spectacle to be witnessed. Doing each move gave me a rush as i overcame an insecurity BUT moved forward. Do this continually and you will feel the confidence growing of the momentum+ warm up style.

Basically its a training in asserting myself and walking to exactly the spot i want - positioning myself in the view of particular girls, or in front or next to them. And just training that while building a rythm and an assertive determined walk-in, posture training and vibe. I might use music to get me in a mood. And its also the art of not giving a f. You can also do bad ass rolls to ignite more dominant vibes - i can describe it somewhere.
I also picked up a lot by observing and keeping more eye contacts. Noticing girls abilities to see me even if they appear not to. their sensors are strong.

This positioning and assertiveness of doing your thing and going where YOU WANT to go ignoring the social pressures while also practicing eg sexualised presence as outlined by eg. Cajun and eg. preparing eye contact movements is a piece of work in itself. Once you get this in it enables stronger fundamentals in many other places. Its such a key training point imo. Few understand the value.

Just trying outline how i do things to inspire some thinking. see if it gives you anything.

 

[Kvothe]

Have been trying the above. Will continue

 

[Kvothe]

Reflections on 2023

Overall, I'm just incredibly glad the past year has ended. I feel very optimistic about this next year.

Starting 2023, I had just become injured with something that I had assumed would resolve quickly, and I was so excited. The year before had been one of my best and a huge step in the direction I wanted to go. Getting injured, and ending up basically with a condition that left me with a near constant 4 on a pain scale of 1-10 shattered my state, and momentum. Efforts to persevere through were met with constant pains of 7-8. Worse than that, I couldn't exercise, I couldn't read in my bed without aggravating the injury, and anything I tried to do to fix the issue did not. I hesitate to use the word "depression", but I certainly have been feeling depressive symptoms over the past year. In spite of this, I was still getting dates with gorgeous women, but while on them I did not feel many emotions at all. It was like a negative emotional whirlpool was sucking in everything good and warm. To be with a beautiful girl, and largely faking positive emotions is not pleasant, and is equivalent to setting one's self up to fail.

I finally managed to put the pieces into place towards the end of November, and feel like my body is finally actually in a process of healing. I have carefully started exercising again, and can once more feel myself becoming stronger. I feel excitement as I have travel coming up, and feel like I'm taking back control of my destiny.

In numbers:

# Approaches	# Hooks	# #s	# dates	# pulls	# lays
368	56	44	10	8	6

I'm combining night, day, and online in the above. So my date -> lay conversion is not as high. But in terms of results, it's still my second best year not including 2022. The quality definitely dipped, but I think a large part has been my overall state.

I have two real goals for 2024:

1. Get healthy and strong
2. Resocialize myself, while not letting socialization distract from seduction

I consider approaching as secondary to the above, and expect that my approaching will actually improve heavily from taking care of these. It's eye opening still for me to see that I am in fact good enough, and am not a failure. I attract women easily, and can lead conversations where I need to go. This missing pieces are largely internal, and so internal focusing is what I shall do.

I expect to use this year's day game opportunities to shift back from direct game towards indirect game. Making things feel serendipititious is the seduction goal.

I've set myself up for a lot of traveling this year, and have granted myself the control and freedom to make these things possible.

Things were bad, but the dawn is here. Good bye 2023-I thank you for teaching me the lessons of humility and gratitude. Light is on the horizon, and I ride forth to find it.

 

[Kvothe]

Taking a bit of a refresher by switching cities for a bit to a beach city.

Went out approaching on the beach yesterday and it felt like the rust was just magically gone. The sound of the crashing waves, the weight of the humid air on my body, and the breeze in the air just added to the sensual vibe of this location.

I did 3 true setes, with all three resulting in numbers. The first approach I did not solidify the hook enough so that ended up not working out. The second girl, a german visiting, I talked with for close to an hour. Logistics for her were not good though, so I grabbed her number and we may meet this week. Good lover frames were set.

Last girl was an absolutely stunning Columbian girl with the most insane body I've seen in a while. I was about to leave the beach when I saw her and just approached with some silly observational comment. Turns out she doesn't speak english, so I have to use my rusty spanish. End up talking to her, and also her mom on facetime, but I invite for a drink nearby and she joins. Do a double venue, and this girl's attention span seems a bit short. She's constantly switching to looking at instagram, but I think part of that is that I am a bit rusty at conversation, especially conversing in my second language. In the second venue, some point in, I suggest a pull, and she declines saying she needs to sleep. I spend a lot of time trying to beat the resistance, but can't do it. We walk around for a bit after, because it's feeling stale, and then she heads home. She's here for a little while for some surgery, so the only real opportunity to close is today. Will try, but if not, I'll go back to the beach and find someone else.

 

[Kvothe]

And on day 2 of his trip Kvothe caught the flu... ce la vie

German girl is giving lots of investment and I've moved plans to Friday. Hopefully that works out, because she seems very fun.

 

[Kvothe]

Took two days longer to come out of the flu. A large waste of time and money, but nothing to be done about that now.

Back to the (gradual) grind, and avoiding a flu relapse.

 

[Kvothe]

Have done a good job removing "excuse me" from my vocabulary. Next steps are to continue with goal of being less of a nice guy. So to that end, I'm going to no longer provide girls with "outs" for my requests. Stuff like, "Why don't we grab drinks", "I'm not sure", "Don't worry, it's no big deal or anything, just relaxed thing", and instead make it more assertive, and leaving the tension in place. The fact that a girl is not fully enthused is a different issue than providing an out would fix. To fix it, I have to improve the hook and conversation, but I should let the tension hang in conversations, if it is the good sort of tension. And regardless, I shouldn't let the tension fade by supplicating.

To put it another way that I think I have before. This year is one of excising bad habits. I think my game is in need of a cleaning of bad, anti-seductive behaviors.