LR+ The magic power of being in town for a weekend

[KJ Francis]

Here's two days in review (and two new lays - now 21 lifetime total). It started with my first day game approach in the last ten years (not a lay).

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On a campus, we were walking toward each other on a main path. A bit before we hit talking distance, I waved to get her attention, then we moved a bit closer. I asked her where a building was that we were right in front of. They're not labeled clearly, so it wasn't like the funny Tony Depp Starbucks opener. She genuinely didn't know the building I was looking for since she was in a different faculty than the one I asked about. I asked a bit about her studies and she was pretty receptive. I said I'd walk with her and look for the building. I started deep diving about her summer work experience and goals.

She had to meet a group for a project. I told her I was in town for just that night and asked if she'd meet me later. She seemed hesitant so I said she could think about it and asked for her number. She readily gave it. I texted an icebreaker and later that night tried to get her out. It was super late and she had plans the next day (will never know if true). Who knows if it was ASD or nerves since I was leaving, or she was just busy.

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Unfortunately the two lays were both from online.

Me: Hey [name]. Do you believe in astrology?
Her: Hi cutie Yeah I do, why?
Me: Well apparently I'm a [sign]. Tell me if we're a match?
Her: Since I'm a [sign], I think we are a match
Me. Phew! Well I'm here until later tomorrow. Let me know when you're free? Let's meet for a chat
Her. Oh where are you from then?
Me: [place], just here for [event]. How'd you end up in [city]?

Then a slight bit of back and forth on her job (and she asks about my work) and where she lives around. I tell her where I'm staying and say the location is great but the view isn't good, and about her place "it would be nice to see the view from up there" soft close with continued getting to know her slightly. "maybe you could show me the view and tell me about it [something about her work] later on". Then it turned into time planning. So leaving town is magic.

I get to her place and we're fucking within five minutes. Here's the follow-up:

"You fucked me so good"
"I know it's early but you are more than welcome to come back again this morning, if not that's ok too " I did, then:

"I think you ruined my pussy"; "I'm surprised I'm able to walk"; "I can't stop thinking about you"; "I wish you would've stayed the night"; "I really want a next time with you"

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So the reason I didn't stay is I went out to walk the nightlife strip. The takeaway from that is you have to act immediately or it's gone. I did zero approaches because of AA. Here's a list of pain:

- a girl wearing sunglasses who took them off coming near and had the doggy dinner bowl look (DDB) / smile
- a slim tattooed girl with a devilish smile bee-lined for me (like 10 feet sideways movement)
- another DDB (I love this look... it's like they can't help but put on a genuine smile)
- a midriff-bared girl in a fashionable outfit did a beeline and hover, but interestingly had an exaggerated lack of eye contact (maybe a protection against rejection? or test for dominant males who will act regardless?)

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Lay #2 was the next morning after re-visiting lay #1 again. I drove from home to home. It was simple messaging, chatting about her gardening. I found it very simple because when you say you are leaving, that's both screening and implied sexual intent without any explicit mentioning it at all, so low-risk of ASD or frame battle. Then I invited myself over to chat in her backyard. It was just deep diving. I still suck at flirting but she knew why I was there so I just built comfort. Eventually I asked her to show me where the bathroom was and kissed her in the close proximity hallway. The lay ended with her saying "Thank you. I needed that" and she keeps texting to chat even though I'm now hours away with no plans to visit.

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So now my question is how do you capture this magic power in your own city? How do you disqualify yourself as a boyfriend and pull it off with even conservative girlfriend-quality women?

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

So now my question is how do you capture this magic power in your own city? How do you disqualify yourself as a boyfriend and pull it off with even conservative girlfriend-quality women?

Verbally, by setting those kinds of frames. You said your game was only small talk and deep diving, add sexual frames and this can happen anywhere any time...

 

[KJ Francis]

@Karea Ricardus D. Lay 1 had an R spot! First time feeling one since starting to finger deep about a dozen girls ago.

Are you sexualizing the frame so strong that she internalizes that slowing down (aka state control?) would lose you and be a counterproductive strategy for herself? I.e. she sees no hope of a boyfriend - at least from the start - and drops all pretenses after swiftly slotting you into the lover role, lest you walk?

Can you do this without screening out conservative girls?

It was special because I was about to leave at one point, and in her head this means gone forever. So I was sliding off the bed toward my pants, and kinda felt a second fuck in me (maybe biological programming to really seed her before the access door closes forever)… and I think that few-second emotional roller coaster also played into her cumming.

If I’d lived there, I don’t think she’d have texted me at 7am to come back before leaving that day. Then in the morning we came together pretty quick. Real subconscious reptillian brain scarcity. Maybe a good gene match.

 

[Chase]

@Francis,

Fun when they're back-to-back like that.

You can't really fake "just about to head out of town" urgency unless you're just going to lie outright, which is... meh.

If you travel a lot you can reasonably say "I'm only here for another 2 weeks but my schedule's super jammed" and imply you only have a few windows open. That gets you close. If she asks where you're from just list another city you've lived in the past. You just leave out the bit about how you are going to be returning to the city again after your travel to ABC location.

But yeah, "leaving town" is the best boyfriend disqualifier + "he doesn't count" lay-maker you can get. Every time I'm leaving somewhere I play it up as much as possible. I have also had girls tell me about "leaving town" guys they shagged, largely because they knew they were never going to see the guy again after that night, not because of anyone's fault, just because they'd be separated, and that made it extra exciting for them.

Some other options for drumming up your scarcity here:

Why to Use Scarcity with Girls You Meet

A friend of mine (Ricardus, actually) recently pointed me at a new piece of Internet marketing software called Scarcity Samurai. The design is simple enough; you install it on your site, use it with any sales pages or product launches you're doing, and it attaches a countdown timer to the page...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[KJ Francis]

Thanks @Chase - helpful stuff, as always. Unfortunately I just got a pretty nice place, which is a huge boon to my logistics situation, but probably an added challenge with staying out of boyfriend territory.

I know I need to work on sexual frames and general vibe, but I can’t really hide that I have a good job. I’d want to marry me too. I will fuck rough in public, get to know girls deeply, and could for sure do well meeting the parents.

I did well when sleeping on a futon in a place I wasn’t supposed to be living in. Maybe I should stop dressing like a brooks brother.

Did you have challenges disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend when you worked for a big consulting firm?

 

[Chase]

@Francis,

Hey, props on the nice place. "How do I deal with living in a nice place and not having girls try to slow game me?" is a quality problem to have!

The only problem I had when I had a 9-to-5 was when I made that my principle job identifier. As soon as I switched to "I'm a writer" (or, when I was acting, "I'm an actor"), with "I work an office job downtown to pay the bills" as my backup if girls probed into money, I was fine.

Girls wouldn't find out the name of my company or my position in it until we'd already been shagging a bit, and at that point their impression of me was already fairly established. It just gives you some extra boyfriend points when they find it out then, which ups the relationship stability. I guess if you're going for a large FWB rotation it might be a detriment, but again, quality problem -- just disqualify yourself to already-converted lovers in other ways (e.g., playboy lifestyle, etc.).

Assuming you have something artistic you do that some people do as a career, you can adopt that as your core identity when talking to women and you'll be fine.

The other concern is the nice place. If your place is too nice it can act like an arousal dampener... girls who were hot and ready to go reach your pad, look around, and realize, "Oh... crap. This guy is well-off. I'd better not mess this up," and suddenly you're hitting a wall of LMR you can't break through when before you rarely got LMR. One solution for this is claiming that you're house-sitting a friend's place (@Teevster used this one with a very nice place he was staying in). Otherwise you need to offset it by having already established before she even gets there that you're really not boyfriend material -- in which case it shouldn't slow you down any.

Chase

 

[KJ Francis]

Hey @Chase ! Thanks! Let's just say I have more lay reports to write. A lot of these are cases where we're for sure wrong for each other long term and by default nudged into lover's lane. But once I start meeting girls who are good girlfriend candidates, would you still disqualify yourself completely and absolutely at the beginning?

I definitely have a core identity I can lean into. But say I meet a girl downtown in my office clothes after the work day who I could realistically want to have children with one day... should I be jetsetting to Mars in the morning in her eyes as a pure lover, or should I give her some rope and let her wonder in the back of her mind? I'm worried mLTR's will only work so long as like 20% of her thinks she can get you to commit to her, and she'll eventually move on painfully as she realizes you've ultimately rejected her as the mother of your children or are not soulmates or whatever.

So if you're dealing with a top tier girl who herself has abundance of quality options... and she is logically confronted with the fact that you are slotted in the just for sex category... then your fundamentals better be tight as fuck, right? It seems maybe my focus should be on vibe... creating movie-magic meets, sexual state transfer, etc.

 

[King Indra]

Here's two days in review (and two new lays - now 21 lifetime total). It started with my first day game approach in the last ten years (not a lay).

You guys are keeping a lifetime count?