TWC Journal

[TheWiseFool]

Taking Small loses for the Occasional Big Wins

That’s why most men never learn pickup. It isn’t because they can’t do it. It isn’t because they lack the faculties, the abilities, or some special x-factor.

Instead, it’s because chasing women just feels more rewarding, most of the time, than amassing rejections in the process of finding new women to sleep with and have relationships with.

from Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns

Chasing a girl feels like you're winning because you get little good feelings (small wins) here and there, but chasing most likely leads to attraction expiration (hard loss) because of moving too slow.

The guy who is planning for a good number of rejections (small loses) will end up doing better because eventually they'll land a high tier woman (large return) from continuously going again and again despite the string of rejections piling up. The rejections are just part of the success. You need to fail about this much in order to succeed this much. The failures may be viewed as minuscule, or they can be viewed as little wins, saving you time, leading you one step closer to success as long as you keep pushing forward.

 

[TheWiseFool]

She walks to him:

"Wow, I'm walking across the room for this guy... I must really like him. I hope he treats me well when I get over there. I hope we hit it off. It'd be embarrassing if I got over there and it looked bad. I'm going to have to make sure this goes well. I'd better look as good and sexy as I can when I get over there... okay, good posture! Back straight, boobs out. That's it... whew, here we go..."

Funny that I come across this when thinking about it! Little note for you in the future, you were talking to a girl for a bit then went back to your work. After a bit she asked you another question, this time she was sitting up in her chair, back straight, shoulders back, boobs out. IT ALL MAKES SENSE! I remember that other girl was doing it too but thought, "Why is she doing that... she looks so... unnatural. Is she trying to look all prim and proper in front of me? Ah that is so cute!" Why did it take me so long to get this? Whatever... hopefully I don't look this unnatural when I want to keep my back straight.... aaaaaawwwkkwwaaarrrrddd.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Visiting a Friend

Journal Entry: 24 February 2014
Report Details: Night of 22 February 2014
Location: Friends University
Time: ~7-12am
Romancer Level: Intermediate-advanced
Seducer Level: Beginner

Purpose & Objectives
- Mess around because no one knows me and will probably never see me again
- Speak less, listen more
- Focus on non-verbals
- Have fun

Entry Start
So my friend invited me to come visit over the weekend since we haven't spoken in a long time, which is mostly my fault because I've worked so hard to become the person who I am now, I wouldn't want anyone screwing things up, even friends or family telling me to "lighten up a bit and enjoy yourself every once in a while." But, as usual, I decided to let myself feel a little something and decided, "Sure why not."

Upon arrival to the campus, we stopped for cheesesteaks. While waiting for cheesesteaks I noticed a girl walked in with her mom and little brother. I was already "wearing" a grin on my face and decided to give a quick glance from the corner of my eyes. She was as my friend said, "exotic" and she was indeed, very cute girl with an amazing body, a lot taller than me, as they usually are. Anyways, she returned the same thing back to me and right there I knew that I'd be good to walk up and start a conversation. I didn't know how to go about starting a conversation with her cos she was with her family. First thing I did was I decided to see if the bathroom was available because I needed to wash my hands. Fortunately, unfortunately the bathroom was occupied so I got to wait outside, which meant I could just stand waiting for the bathroom and the girl could just check me out as much as she wants. I was really hoping that she'd "need" to go to the bathroom, too, but no. I'd check back at the table me and my friend were at and I could see out of my peripherals that the girl was checking me out. I didn't think of this then but I should have waved her over. Fast forward to when I grow the balls to talk to her, I get up from our table, turn around, and then I see her dad, one of the chef's talking to her mother, and I just freaked out and went right past to "go to the bathroom." We left and I was pretty mad about that but I let it go and kept note of it.

From here on out I have this different personality, my default/autopilot "cool guy" personality that I naturally switch to whenever I'm in a new situation.

Things I noticed when behaving this way:
- Made facial expressions like Damon Salvatorre, spoke like Nick Offerman, and was socializing like my one frat brother. Did it feel unnatural? No. I felt completely natural and I felt right where I needed to be.

- I believed I knew what I was doing. Whether it was being socially elite, intelligent, confident, sexy as hell. Didn't matter if it was true or not, I just BELIEVED I were those things, things that make up a high value individual.

- I was instantly making myself comfortable with the new territory instead of being nervous or hyper aware of my surrounding. AKA, I made myself at home.

- People will crack jokes at people to grind the social ladder. If I don't try to be people's friends, they won't crack jokes at me because they don't want to be labeled or remembered as having negative social skills. Instead people were trying to impress me because....

- of my friend, I was not coming off as being overexcited or trying to prove myself to anyone. Many times my friend who I'm guessing was the highest tier male there and the second highest tier guy there were trying to impress/engage me in order to qualify themselves and the group as not being something that is less than desired. All I had to do was just give value back and not be opinionated. If you're not opinionated, people can't get an exact read on you and are more cautious around you by not trying to say the wrong thing. At least that is what I deduced.

- my clothes were BA. Everyone there dressed like they were in still highschool AKA the usual basketball shorts, t-shirt or lacrosse pinnies, long socks, and sneakers. I stood out because I pretty much looked like this...

...which contrasted with their red, white and blue colors.

- Demonstrating the ability to say no when I want to made it clear that I won't do something unless I want to.

Party
Fast forward to when the party begins, about 8-9 girls arrive and come up to where all the guys are chilling. I go to get my boots on and then my friend introduces me to all of them. They all get a good look at me and I don't scan to see which girls are hot or not, I just kept the same cool pose from before being introduced and then gave a cool grin and a light wave to the girls to say, "Nice to meet you." Everyone started heading downstairs for flip cup and me and my friend arrived a little later. I took a shot with his one friend and this one girl I thought was cute was there as well. His roommate was surprised that I didn't flinch at all when I drank it, saying, "Dude, you don't want a chaser? OMG how do you do that?!?!?" Fucking GDIs... lol jkay jkay. My friend offered me sunglasses to wear because all the other guys were doing the same thing, but I didn't put them on, just held them in my hands before returning them to his room later. Again didn't want to do anything that I didn't want to do.

Downstairs, people are getting flip cup started. I don't participate right away because I just want to watch. I take a spot over to the side to observe everything going on because I love to people watch, but my friend motions me to sit up next to him on one of the mini fridges. I come over after resisting a bit and decide to practice one time really fast to see if I still got, prefacing with "Let me see if I still remember how to play." I get it the first time, which everyone sees and I am glad because 1) didn't want to embarrass my friend 2) I wouldn't have played if I missed lol. Anyways me and my friend are just chilling, I was glad I got to sit next to him and catch up, it really has been a while. Also glad that I got to sit in the view of the two cute girls I identified when I was observing everyone playing. There was this really beautiful girl, she has like 6-7 inches on me, but gosh she had a great body and her face was cute-hot. Her friend who was my height was better looking in the face but I wasn't sure if she had a boyfriend or not, heck I thought they both had boyfriends because they weren't really talking/hanging out with anyone. I thought they were either too cool for everyone or something else. My friend joins the game so I join in too.

After playing for a while I stopped and just wanted to chill because I know I am starting to get a little drunk if I get this feeling where I just want to hit things. I post up on the side, the taller girl is sitting where me and my friend were earlier. I decide to look at her like Damon Salvatore does and she looked over at me so I waved her over. At first, she was waving me to come over and sit next to her, which prompted the article "How to Attract Women: The Guide" to come up in my head, particularly the part comparing a guy who walks up to a girl versus a guy who gets a girl to come to him. I wasn't having any of what she was trying to pull with me so I waved her over two more times, making a skeptical face the third time which prompted her to comply. While she was walking over this is all that was going on in my mind, "she's thinking, 'Wow, I'm walking across the room for this guy... I must really like him.'" She arrives, we get introductions out of the way, I ask her how she knows my friend and then I just probe because I just want to see how far I can go since I'm just messing around. Her nose piercing, what does she do, why'd she come here, we get into her passion and some other things, like family. She is qualifying herself and returns some stuff back to me, but I answer a bit before making my responses more vague. After a little bit she is the one who is working to qualify me and I love it cos I can tell she is beginning to feel attracted to me. I did take time to include a lot of pauses and just look at her in the eyes with my smoldering eyes (lol...), a lot of mmms and interestings. I was trying to speak like Nick Offerman cos he is just awesome haha. One thing I liked about her was that she mentioned how she is a theater major and my eyes lit up because I thought it'd be awesome if she was an actor, but it turns out she does set design because it is what she wants to do. In addition, I think one of the most interesting things about this girl was that she was a freshmen, but she looked like a junior! I couldn't believe it... it clicked in my head that she wasn't talking to other people because she doesn't want to be there, it's cos she is a nervous freshmen or she isn't into the party scene like her friends, but goes because she doesn't want to be the odd one out. Anyways, I do end up breaking things off for some reason, but my friend was surprised because that girl was fine and he remembers me as I was when he last saw me, a good guy. I remember at one point he had to stop me and asked if I fucked a girl yet, which prompted me to tell him no. He asked why not and I just said I get bored easily, sex isn't that big a deal for me (could be that I am scared to actually get to the finish line). Just thinking about what had happened was awesome cos this girl was by far the hottest there and I wasn't fazed the whole time! In control, calm, cool, collected. She was working to impress me and I was the one giving value. On top of that, the girls at my friends school come are really stuck up so the fact that this girl even talked to me rather than being all "as if" was a big surprise.

Later on these two random guys came, one called Toolbag and the other was his friend from community college. I decided to strike up a conversation with them, the tall girl from earlier stayed downstairs with her one friend instead of going upstairs with the other girls, but she was listening in on the conversation and staring hard at me omg... I didn't know what to do. Reminded me of this girl when I was a freshmen and still a nice guy who chased girls. I guess the best way to describe it is that when we ended things, I upgraded myself to insane levels and she started chasing after me and I remember this one time she was listening in on a conversation and looking at me with these "I miss you eyes," but I made it clear to her when I literally poured my everything to her and she just turned me down. You had me, but now I'm done chasing you, enjoy the value void in your life (these thoughts were what I was thinking before I learned to not be bitter. Yes, I eventually I reconciled things with her so that I/we could move on from there and remember it as breaking things off the right way). Looking back now, the step I missed was to move her but I didn't just like I did with the other girl from my first field report.

Anyways, there were two other girls there that I'd put in the cute category that were interested, but I didn't get a chance to talk to them because we were leaving for some house party which turned out to be trash and reminded me just how much I dislike college parties with a bunch of random drunk people begging for beer like a starving, impoverished children for a bowl of rice. I did note that the tall girl was staring at me from time to time at the party but I didn't know what to do because her brother lived there and I'd freak out if I got beat up for talking to his "kid" sister, who is probably shorter than him. I probably should have reengaged her, but I'm sure it would have fizzled out into nothing since I'm shorter than her and I'm staying at friend's house and if she stays, Idk how that would work...

Other things that I'll make note of that aren't as important are:
- Opened 2 more girls. 1 had a boyfriend but I persisted until her bigger friend pulled her away, 1 outright rejection

Overall, this was fun for me in the sense that I did something. I feel really damn confident because all of the roommates of my friends loved me, my roommate and I were able to update each other on how our lives have been going, and I talked to the hottest girl at the start of the evening rather than just not making use of my time there. I was probably a fool for not going for the sorority girl who would have been easier, but there was some challenge going on in me because I LOVE tall women and I always see some looking at me from time to time with these "come hither" eyes but I continue on because I think, "I'm too tall" or "no way..." BUT I reframed those thoughts as soon as they occurred and thought, "Maybe she isn't socializing because she is a good girl, nervous, not her scene, nervous or insecure because she's usually the tall girl who guys don't usually approach because she looks amazing." These reasons could all be false, but it was the fact that I BELIEVED.

Will definitely be one of my better nights and a huge ego boost for some time. Hint: approach a girl while this is still going on man
- The Wise Fool

 

[TheWiseFool]

Girl from psychology class waited for you to talk to her last week and decided to leave right when you were leaving class today. You should really talk to her, time is ticking.

 

[TheWiseFool]

I saw the first girl that I had approached for the first time during the day. I didn't have my glasses on but I recognized her right away, so so so beautiful my God I was asking myself why so many times as to why it didnt work, but in the end, my skills just were noobie and I just had to let it out here to remind myself why I need to really sleep around....

Anyways, she saw me coming out of the corner of her eyes, glanced a me and I pretended to have noticed her noticing me, so I gave a quick grin, then looked onward as she did a double take and stared at me. I said excuse me and carried on as if she didn't matter, as if to say, "You had your chance now look at him walk away."

*Sigh* Glad my memory of the first girl I ever approached will always be a good one.

Hopefully my luck will allow the first of many firsts be just as amazing.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Closure/Dead end. Observations

Asked HTM if she wanted to come over and watch some movie at my place, but she canceled because she is going out. She did invite me to come but I politely declined because partying is not my scene anymore and I don't want to be placed in the friend zone. Also want to make a note that I didn't push after the initial rejection just cos I was already thinking, "Well, two strikes. On to the next one." My reasoning for being done is that if she wants to be with me, then she'd fine me more interesting than some party. In retrospect, I should have. Anyways, I'm done with her and not bitter cos I wasn't attracted to her to begin with. However, I will make a note of acting faster and not messing around lol...

I feel like all this weight has been lifted off my shoulders now!

I keep focusing on one girl at a time rather than multiple girls. I need to change that... I need a new frame for allowing myself to come to terms with the outdateness of my old one and accepting a new one that allows me to evolve and upgrade.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In other news, I went to a club just to observe and the girls were like hot damn who is that man. Primming their hair, fidgeting. I thought it was very cute but the ones I wanted already had boyfriends. One girl came up to talk to me and her boyfriend was calling her over the same way you would your child if you had a bad feeling that they were in danger. ermahgahd so funny!

I just don't know why I'm not going out and just approaching girls. I don't care when I'm rejected because my tastes are so picky but if that's the case, then why not approach for fun? Is it because I care so much still about sex or love? Still believing in all that romantic crap the media and society feeds down our throats?

Am I not above this? Do I not go against the grain? Or maybe I'm just stuck in starting. Letting girls drop from firey hot to ice cold.

Disappointed, yet feeling freed and cheerful,

 

[TheWiseFool]

EDIT TO ABOVE POST: When I said, "In retrospect, I should have," what I meant to say, for clarity during future reference, was, "I should have pushed for the date rather than giving up on round 1," since reading this two hours after writing it I am unclear as to whether or not my past self meant persisting in pushing for the date or for agreeing to go to the party.

I remember walking back home and thinking about the article that talks being a romantic/sexy man.

What is more sexy?
Unromantic Scenario
Guy: Hey, do you enjoy talking to me?
Her: Yes.
Guy: Do you think you'd have an even better time with me outside of this usual setting?
Her: Yes, *she laughs because she's beginning to catch on a bit*, why do you ask?
Guy: Great, me too! You and I should *insert date idea*, when are you free this week?
Her: I'm busy this week, I can't hangout because of a lot of work.
Guy: Okay, cool.

Romantic Scenario
Guy: Hey, do you enjoy talking to me?
Her: Yes.
Guy: Do you think you'd have an even better time with me outside of this usual setting?
Her: Yes, *she laughs because she's beginning to catch on a bit*, why do you ask?
Guy: Great, me too! You and I should *insert date idea*, when are you free this week?
Her: I'm busy this week, I can't hangout because of a lot of work.
Guy: *Says her name in a dramatic fashion while placing his hands on his heart as if he's been shot down by love* How could you? All I wanted was to be your knight in shining armor!
Her: *She laughs*
Guy: You know you want to
Her: Oh, you know me all to well Guy *laughs*
Guy: *looks away with a grin and speaks with this hot, deep, sultry, sticky tone to some imaginary friend to the side* I know to please you and attend to you in areas where most men are lacking in *sly grin*
Her: Mmm, and how would you do that?
Guy: You'd have to meet with me to find out
Her: *She gives you this playful glare for teasing her*
Guy: Later babes

Even if things don't workout in the second scenario, it sounds much better than the first scenario

 

[TheWiseFool]

Correlation between Serotonin Levels and Posture

NOTE: this post is a response I wrote out as an answer to another user's question regarding posture coming off as trying too hard.
NOTE: the basis for the claim of a correlation between serotonin levels and posture comes from a book suggested by Chase, titled Fooled by Randomness... The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
NOTE: my own observations should not by taken at full face value and should be tested before being understood as any sort of fact or strong correlation. This is just an anecdote and has not been scientifically measured.

There is a correlation between posture and serotonin levels. Individuals with higher levels of serotonin have a more upright posture, are happier and more carefree, while individuals with lower serotonin levels may have a hunched posture, grim expression, and this overall atmosphere of "nothing exciting or amazing is going on in my life."

Video from thread: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfY3gM3sGnI.

In my opinion, Ashton's posture was superb throughout the whole video and I viewed him as being completely natural. The trick is not to be too rigid; presenting an image or perception of naturality rather than controlled effort, which goes against the Law of Least effort. In addition, a posture, or any characteristic and trait, unlike that of your other contemporaries will set you apart due to its distinctiveness.

I've tested and observed the type of treatment, indirect and direct, that is received when one holds sloppy or normal posture versus that of a more proper, upper class, happier, or "try hard" posture.
Observations and Analysis without proper posture:
1. People do not move out of the way for you on the sidewalk or in a hall
2. Girls don't really pay attention to you, possibly because of blending in with the crowd or instant judgement of being lower value or not having your life together or having befallen some unfortunate turn of events
3. Conversations were the same, possibly due to my clothing and vocabulary
4. People don't really pay attention to you in a room full of people/crowd

Observations with proper posture:
1. People will move out of the way for you in tight spaces, like sidewalks, as if you are some important figure
2. Girls will go out of their way to get you to notice them
3. People will work to qualify themselves to you in conversation
4. An air of "higher" value is credited to you despite full knowledge of who you really are

As Chase mentioned in a post regarding posture:
don't let your thighs touch as you walk. It'll feel a little awkward at first, as though you're pushing your legs out of their sockets in your hips (you're not though), but you'll adapt to it quickly. A week or two of feeling funny while you walk... for a lifetime of looking sexy as hell. I think that's a fair trade.

Give yourself time to let this become a natural thing for you. I remember back in high school when I was working on having confident posture and walk, doing so felt extremely unnatural at first, finding myself switching back and forth between slumped and low shoulders to "keep your back straight, gut in, shoulders rolled back, chest out, and chin parallel to the ground." But here I am now at my age thinking, "anything but great posture just feels unnatural."

So to you I say, stick with developing a habit of keeping great posture. At first it will feel uncomfortable and you may even need to tweak some things as you realize that you may, in fact, behaving in an unnatural manner, but the beauty of trying new things and improving ourselves is that we eventually grow into an evolved version of ourselves and will be able to look back and laugh at how we used to think and be.

The video was great. Ashton really hits the nail on the head when he says one should never show that you're impressed. I'm still growing into this and I have observed, in multiple individuals, how one's treatment changes from when they were initially mysterious and uninvolved with the environment and individuals around them to being slightly more understood and more involved. I've figured that it's best to reveal as little as possible, while receiving maximum returns. It is much more efficient however, one must deal with being much more detached, something that I wasn't dealing well with two to three weeks ago. As a result, my lesson has been learnt and I am glad to have experienced it. Although somewhat irrelevant to the topic, I wanted to provide this here as a forewarning to all of you here and those who may read it in the near future.

Take care,

 

[TheWiseFool]

Cute Red Head / Serial Position Effect on Remembering the Woman You Marry

So, the girl with the sexy voice did not show up today. BUT, her friend walks in, who has tons of lover value, walks in. She sees me and I glance at her before returning to my work expecting she is going to sit somewhere else other than next to me. Turns out, out of all the 7 other chairs, she comes over and places her coat on the chair next to me. In my head I'm thinking, "It's on," and a grin spreads across the side of my face she can't see. She places her coat down and then walks towards the exit to go do something; I check her out and she has a cute face, amazing body. Tight blue jeans and this really nice navy blue jacket, and a white scarf with brown polkadots. As I'm watching her walk out my ego is saying, "Dude... do something please..." I check the clock and it is 11:47 am. I'm thinking, damn I have couple of minutes before people begin coming in cos tutors come in every hour to take their shifts. I don't really know what to say but when she gets back she is setting up her stuff very slow and proper and cautious like, which is completely different from her behavior on Tuesday when she is talking like crazy. There is obvious tension in the air, not Cuban missile crisis status, but it felt like it, at least for me it did. I do take note of her perfume which smells nice. I make that as my "in" for talking to her. I also remembered that she jokingly called me the name of some other guy who shares the same heritage as me. So one of the two would serve as my opener.

She gets her stuff together and sits down. At first I don't say anything because I'm really fucking nervous for whatever reason, but I keep telling myself, "Just have fun. Just have fun. The hell with it man." I check my watch one more time, it is 11:53, and I am thinking, "Fucking damnit cmon! Do something pleeeaasssseeeee!!!!" I notice she is making sure to keep a good image in front of me, sitting up on the edge of her seat, straight back just like the last girl; when someone speaks to her, she picks her words carefully rather than how she was behaving on tuesday, very boisterous and flamboyant in front of her friends. I decide that she is waiting on me, "What do I have to lose?" I clench my teeth and take a huge mental sigh and think, "Okay."

*I've learned the hard lesson of how important it is to preopen someone, man or woman, before speaking to them. Usually people hear me, but when they don't and I feel like a total idiot waiting for them to turn or repeat myself again, but louder. So, to prevent this, I lightly placed my hand on her upper arm*
Me: Hey
*She looks at me with this "you talking to me" look*
Her: Hmmm?
Me: We've never been introduced before but I just had to tell you that I like the smell of your perfume. * It reminds me of a good friend of mine.
Her: Oh thanks! *She smiles, but her eyes light up in a way that indicates being either surprised and creeped out or surprised and elated to what I said, maybe both*
Me: What's your name by the way?
Her: *Her name* and you?
Me: Eric
*I reach out my hand and gently shake hers and I turn to my work and she gets back to Facebook*
Me: and I like your name too, it's... unique.
*A student came in to complain about housing issues which prompted a discussion with everyone in the room. Then two more people came in, one of the tutors and a grad student I've mentioned before. The fear of putting social pressure got to me and I dropped the conversation by telling her "It was nice to meet you" before turning back to my work and her getting back to her laptop and listening to the current situation. I interjected here and there but listened more than I spoke cos I don't really know much about the whole situation and didn't want to be some blabbering, opinionated fool (many lessons relearned).*
*After 10 more minutes there, I leave a little early for class. When I know I am out of sight from anyone, I playfully punch the air saying, "Yah yah yah!!!"*

Besides my failings to continue the conversation, I felt pretty damn happy even though I didn't show it except for this slight grin on my face. HUGE WEIGHT lifted off of my shoulders and took note of that rush of serotonin! I don't know why I felt more rewarded with this girl vs HTM. My only reasoning is that I wasn't as attracted to HTM as I was this girl. HTM was very eager and excited from the beginning and this girl I know is interested for sure, but she definitely handled herself better or I am more attracted to her physically than I was for HTM. I know this probably sounds like nothing, but it is a lot to me, especially since I haven't approached a girl in forever, which is still a problem cos I need to develop my cold approaching skills prior to graduation when I will actually have to walk up to women and open them from that point forward.

Things to do in the future, sit next to her again and start a conversation and deep dive her. I'm guessing people ask her about her name a lot it is quite unique; therefore, I'll probably ask her about her major and what she wants to do with that and if that is what she wants to do for the rest of her life or does she have other plans.

Thanks guys for giving me that little tiny push!

Extra Afterthoughts: After reading the actual interaction itself, I can't help but laugh because there was so much pressure prior to actually speaking. I think the fault is in over-thinking and worrying too much. The only way to combat this, at least for over-analytical individuals like myself, is to cut the mind off and just jump in and run the gamut with no plan whatsoever. Thinking about it more, I feel like that is how naturals act like. They just do shit and they don't care if they get shot down or not as Pinot said. There's this relieving effect that you feel and this surge of reward and accomplishment. Imagining that with multiple girls in a day or week... wow!!! But then again, the brain develops habitualization to prevent us from repeating the same action over and over again. Still worth it though, to experience that period and remember it as being exciting and new. I just hope it is as refreshing and exciting and new as those times as it is when I meet my wife, if I ever settle down in the future. I'm sure I will though. I tend to remember a lot of things, whether it be the first time or the last time, I remember them. The psychology term serial position effect comes to mind: we are more likely to remember things that occur at the beginning and at the end than we do those that occur in the middle. I gain some peace with that worrying about the specialness of meaning my wife than because I know she will be the last woman I will ever try to seduce, date, or anything of the sort, granted I remain a high value man.

 

[TheWiseFool]

So, new girl of the tutoring center is the girl I talked to on Thursday. I should ask her out on a date or get to know her more

 

[TheWiseFool]

Foreign Girl

So, the girl on Thursday never came in around the time she was there last Thursday. So I am pretty bummed about that. However, I finally walked up to the girl in my calculus class and I'm heading over to her place sometime around 4 (I told her I would get back to her because I still want to see if the new girl may be in the tutoring center by chance today. And hopefully the girl I fumbled with is there too; I still want to try with her and really push so that I can walk away with little to no doubts left in the event she says no). Pretty nervous but hopefully everything turns out alright. I know she REALLY likes me since she is more forward than most girls, I've just never pushed forward cos of nerves... Hopefully a fruitful field report comes out of this later tonight.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, I was only able to stay for an hour since dad came 30 minutes early to pick me up. Nothing special happened. Same old old conversations I have when getting to know someone. Where are you from; deep dive topic. What do you want to do; deep dive topic. She was pretty lost in my eyes though and smiled a ton, but as Ross wrote in his article, that doesn't really matter if you aren't moving things forward... so, I'm not really pleased at all...

Not sure if this is a bad thing, but I let the words, "Man I'm so hungry I didn't eat breakfast this morning," slip out of my mouth. But she ended up cooking for me, much to my dismay and urging for her not too... I don't know if it was a dish or a snack, but it was this sponge cake thing, with a sweet sauce and green chillies she got from a relative who is growing them. and a sweet sauce. The food was sooooo spicy, geez... but where she is from that food isn't spicy at all. She snickered/chuckled saying that she'll give me a spicier dish next time I come by. I took her up on the offer just cos I love trying new things. She was happy that I said sure... I was expecting her to be embarrassed like most cultured people in this area, which put her in a good light for me. I like people who aren't afraid of who they are.

We chatted for a bit more, along with one of her friend's from China, who came in a little bit later. She said she is going to NY tomorrow to visit her cousins. I am not sure if she is staying up there the entire break. She did mention saying she would just visit, but also that she was going to see NYC, which probably means go around the city itself... During the week you should send a text trying to get together. "Hey, are you in New Jersey?" If she says yes, then ask if she is close to you. If she is then you should propose you two meet up. If she is at school, I don't think I want to go back to school yet lol! And if she isn't, then so what. Just say another time like you did for HTM. Please please please please please push and persist if she tests you even though she is the one who is making the effort to move things forward... you fucking pussy lol ^_^

I didn't touch her out of habit. I was thinking of people in the Asian region being more conservative, but she doesn't seem to fit the description. I probably am gonna ask her, "Have you ever thought of sex with a foreign guy before?" and if she says no I want to say, "Neither have I.... but foreign women... would love that!" Ugh, sounded so cheesy but I want to test it lol!


Objectives of the week
1. Reverse negative feedback loop of inaction
2. Review and practice classwork in order to stay on top of class work and finish off the semester strong.
3. Exercise and eat well
4. Fix your circadian rhythm

Things to Complete Tomorrow (in order)
1. Try to go out somewhere and open five girls. Example: mall, panera bread, barnes and noble, grocery store (b/w 5-6 pm).
1a. Ask 3 girls if they are single. That is it. You just have to ask them if they are.
1b. Ask 2 girls if they are single and you want 3 of them to say yes. Push the envelope a bit.

Expect to complete the whole thing. Report back tomorrow.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Observations & Power of Pre-Selection

Regarding observations, while doing some math, I was listening to music. During one point in the song, I closed my eyes and just drifted away in my mind as I listened to the peaceful melody of the song. All of a sudden I hear a light, "I'm bored," from the right side of my body. I slowly open my eyes as if waking from a dream and I see this girl standing beside me, staring at me. She repeats it again, "I'm bored." I understand that she wants me to talk to her, but I really don't know what to say cos I am in no mood for socializing with anyone and I am not reasonably attracted to her to make an effort to get her number. The best I come up with is proposing she sit next to me (you can keep me company). But she just walks over to her seat, which happens to be behind me.

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about this girl. I just thought it was really interesting in that I was listening to music and I don't know how long she was there staring at me with my eyes closed. In addition, there is something interesting about this... maybe she was wondering what I was thinking? Idk. I wanted to make note of this for maybe down the line I figure out why she did what she did. As in staring at me without being conscious of me opening my eyes and catching her. But she did get my attention by subtly indicating she wanted me to do something. To be continued...


NOW, for the thing that really made my day and put me up in the clouds.

I had lab today and was really frustrated. Stuck on this coding problem for like an hour, I can't even imagine what it is like to actually do really creative stuff and just be stuck for days... Anyways, after it, I decide to stop by the tutoring center and get some work done before heading to a meeting. I walk into the room, stop and survey for available seats, but it turns out that practically every seat is taken, except for this one seat in between these two girls. One girl looks well dressed with a beautiful figure, but I can't see her face since her back is to me; the other girl is one who I know interested in me, but I am not and I feel bad, but I can't do much except not talk to her past little verbal exchanges so she gets the message. As I get to the seat and am about to put my bag down, someone calls out, "There he is! Mr. President!" I'm thinking, "What?!" "Mr. President?!" All these people look over at me with smiles on their faces and I am thinking, "What is happening here?" I get no explanation, but I do figure out later on why they said that and it is pretty funny. Getting back on topic, I put my bag down and I notice this beautiful girl again but she isn't facing me. I sit down, get my binder out and I hear an unexpected, but pleasant sounding, "Hey Eric." I look over to where the voice came from and my heart just went flying out the window; it was the girl who I approached from the first time! I was speechless, literally for like 3 seconds, just mesmerized and scanning her face thinking that I thought I'd never be able to actually talk to her again; and yet, there she was and she was GORGEOUS! Omg! Beautiful face, she takes care of her body, she dresses well, I know she's smart, and believes in God as well (possibly conservative); I just never got the chance to meet up with her in person because I guess I jumped the gun to quick with trying to get her out on a date back in December.

I really don't remember the conversation, but my heart was pounding the whole time, I was so nervous. On the outside I was really calm and collective, but I couldn't get any work done! All I could focus on was "don't pay attention to her, don't be overly excited, ask her questions about herself and her life." Unfortunately, it seems that variables outside of my control backfired and increased boyfriend value soooo idk how to handle things. I do know that her behavior was similar to that of HTM, but much more aggressive in that she was going out of her way to talk to me. I thought it was nice that I didn't have to one up her in conversation like HTM does. I was rather confused by all the "signs" because I thought she wasn't interested in me, but tons of things indicate otherwise and I know I want to jump at another opportunity with her again (didn't get a chance to ask her to come out because the meeting was pretty serious, and I had another meeting right after this current one) because I really am actually attracted to her. Results, results. Need more results...

On top of that, although this note does not please me, the girl from Thursday was there and she saw that this girl was talking to me and I to her and the girl with the sexy, lustful, honey-dripping voice was there to and I was just like, "Am I dreaming?"

I just... don't even know... I think she even signed up for the math team/club (she was talking to her guy friend, who I didn't need to be bothered about) after picking up on me being part of the team/club, which I wasn't embarrassed about cos I already know she is smart since she is a BCMB major and CS minor.

I really don't think it is luck that the first time I am actually able to go to a meeting, she shows up and I am able to sit right next to her, and that it turns out to be that it is her FIRST time being there ever! I found out that it was her first time there ever cos I had to ask someone later on when I came back from my meeting if she is always there and I always miss out cos I have lab.

Today was really busy, but I have to say that it was worth it overall. Hoping for good things in the future.

O, and hears a little motivation for you so that you remember what your goal is....

 

[Verisimilitude]

O, and hears a little motivation for you so that you remember what your goal is....

She's cute. One of my LRs looks a lot like her, except with lighter skin (she's tan, but not Indian), and in my (biased) opinion prettier. But the same brown hair, facial structure, nose, etc.

I like blondes more, but I can dig a brunette under the right circumstances.

Sorry to interrupt TWF. I'm digging the improvement! Start talking to those girls who are giving you approach invitations!

 

[TheWiseFool]

V,

Did the LR have a photo of a girl, but she had read hair? That girl has an amazing body and a great face. Maybe her butt could be a little bigger haha, but definitely a real stunna

 

[TheWiseFool]

Red head, observations, and update

Where to start, where to start.

Auto-Rejection/Uncompliant girl --> submissive
I've finally broken through to the girl I unintentionally put into auto-rejection. Took me forever, but I definitely showed her that I am not a bad guy, I am not going to put up with her shit like all the other guys that swarm around her, and that I am a valuable man. I feel like I tamed a beast, it is awesome.
I did find it interesting that earlier she was talking about whether or not she should go to the gym. One of the guys at the center told her that she should go with him, but she declined cos he can be creepy in the sense that you understand/feel that there's an ulterior motive to his statements and actions. Anyways, that guy leaves to go to the gym, and I am still doing my work. Somehow through her constantly trying to get me into conversation with her I mention how I'm just about finished my work and if she wants she should come with me. She starts giving me excuses, etc etc, and I just think, "Screw it," and say, "Alright, do you want help or are you just being difficult?" And she says she's just being difficult. I ask her why, then I go through step by step what she needs to do regarding getting in shape and not being dependent on anyone and things turn out nicely where she agrees and then I tell her I'll see her there, but I tell her to not get mad when she sees me, which leads her to giving me this surprised, "Omg you asshole look," but it was like she liked it and wasn't mad. I realized after I said it that that was sort of rude, but then I thought about how Christian Grey treats Ana when they are in public, except Grey is having a love affair with Ana and I can sort of have a love affair with this girl but I won't because she has a boyfriend (who is upstate). I feel like I could cos she prolly hasn't had sex in a while seeing that her boyfriend is on the other side of the state, but I am going to keep myself far away from cheating territory. Anyways, at the gym, I do see her on an elliptical, but I don't say hi. However, after thinking about conditioning individuals, I realized that I wanted to positively reinforce the action of going to the gym and working out because I really enjoy helping people. I walk out of the weight room to where she is and give her a thumbs up and a half smile to let her know that she is doing a good job.
Interested to see how she behaves in the next coming encounters.

EDIT: so after 2 hours of writing, I submitted the post and the website told me I was logged out and I lost all my stuff. Pretty frustrated because I should have copied my whole post, but hindsight is 20/20. All I can do is just let it go and move on. So here is the stuff I wanted to say, just the bare minimum cos I am so exhausted and feeling pretty defeated.

Observations
- I don't know why, but I decided today that I would just look at women who were walking in the opposite direction with what I thought was the sexiest eye contact. I need to do this more often. I've never really approached women older than me although I've always preferred older women over younger ones. This amazing woman in her late 20s definitely wanted me to do something, but I was like, "Woah woah woah lady, you're older than me!" It wasn't until 3-4 minutes later that I thought, "Wait, why the didn't I talk to her!?! I like older women!!" Need to reframe this.
- I guess I'm a great hit in my public speaking class, everyone loves me. Especially the girls. It just seems to be that the one I am interested in already has a boyfriend and I wouldn't want to try cos I wouldn't want my partner cheating on me if I were in a relationship.
- Another girl and boyfriend story. Turns out this girl has a boyfriend which sucks because I really like her personality. She is cute most definitely, but her personality is amazing. So much energy and life, it is beautiful. Unfortunately, a boyfriend. Derp derp... and I am not even going to attempt to ruin that for her.

Redhead
- Met a girl at a club on campus. She was sort of like the odd one out ethnicity wise so I decided to introduce myself. I feel like she was wary of me cos I was the new guy there. But I complimented her on her hair saying, "I like your hair." She downplays it saying that she used to be a ginger. I say, "I love red hair. It's beautiful; Sexy even, if you don't mind me saying." Sort of chuckle/grin thing. I presume she is shy because of her reaction, but I get that she liked it. I wasn't too piqued by her to be put into a sexual mode so I bid my farewells after some time speaking to her and headed home.

Update
- At the same club, a girl I know came up to me and told me about the girl from my second to last post. She made it blatantly obvious that she does like me, it's just that her parents are very strict. I thought to myself, "You sure know how to pick them bud." Which is more or less a good thing. I am willing to try and see. I have a pretty good idea of what this girl is like based on the tiny bits of information I've picked up on. But yuh never know until you find out so I am excited to see.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Preference for Indian girls?

So I got a girls number but I decided to be the funny guy (big mistake) and crack a joke afterwards, which resulted in me calling this girl by the wrong name... That did not turn out well cos her facial expression went from happy to straight up "what the fuck..." I didn't apologize because The first thing that came to mind was to not apologize. Instead I just laughed and said, "Wow... this guy..." After that we just went our separate ways but I was totally beating myself up afterwards cos I do this all the time.

I was thinking that I'd apologize over text and she'd give me some token remark. I'd them tell her that I'll make it up to her somehow, which could possibly lead to her asking "by doing what?" and then I tell her to let me take her out and I'll buy her a meal.

It's been like 6 hours and I am still thinking... what do I say!!?!?!?!

The disadvantages of overthinking.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Update

Haven't gotten a text from the girl yet.

What I learned from this?
Actively work to remember her name....
Use mnemonics, crazier the story the better

 

[TheWiseFool]

New Goal: Scheduling dates and Consistently getting to the Date without Flakes

Approached another girl today and got her number. I wasn't planning on taking her on a date, but I wanted to see if I could get from approaching to number with ease. Took me 5 minutes tops since she helped me cut to the chase of getting her number by giving me an escalation window.

As of now, two for two on the numbers and I've had two girls give me there numbers, one using an excuse to use my phone and the other got my number off a friend. The first of the two numbers I was pretty nervous cos of AA, but this week, I've felt so confident based on how everything has been going that when I approached the girl today, it was a cake walk. I was just thinking to myself, "This will be easy," rather than thinking, "She looks busy."

I guess the next the next thing I need to work on is successfully scheduling a date and actually getting the girl out without any flaking.I mainly just want to take girls out on dates without the pressure of having to bring them back home cos I want to get a feel for what dates are like and I'm in no hurry to be taking girls to bed. In addition, a good goal to have would be consistently getting girls out, rather than an inconsistent and unidentifiable trend/pattern.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Just something to note here, in my experience. Though I wasn't aware of it at the time, this was the mindset I had going on dates. I'm still working to remove it so I can motivate myself to close. But if possible, you should be looking to fuck all these girls you will take on dates. I think its much better to get hit by a shitload of LMR than to sit and think to yourself, what if?

I'll keep this in mind Cas.

I will keep aiming for the close instead of just having fun in mind so I do not make the same mistake.

It just seems to be that things run much more smoothly for me when sex is not the agenda, but having fun with things and just going with the flow, seeing where things will end up. I tend to think too much, so any sort of thinking leads to over-thinking and over-analyzing situations and I end up becoming anxious.

However, even if my luck wins out for me, I know that when things get to the "deed", where sex is imminent and the guy and girl are alone, I'll get really nervous and possibly backout because of conflicting ideas I am still working with. My reasoning being a memory I recalled back in September where sex was literally right at my fingertips and I freaked out when I should have kept pushing forward.

So, through writing this, will definitely aim for sex.

For now, scheduling and getting the date like it's no big deal and consistently getting to the actual date.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[TheWiseFool]

Power of Social Pressure, breaking circle

Just realized that what has been contributing to so much of my success in terms of conversing with women and getting them invested is social pressure. If I'm bored, I'll show it. If I don't like something, I'll do something productive or look around to other places or open up my phone and start reading an ebook. It works for taking the reigns of any kind of conversation, regardless if it is with a male or female. And usually, I just know how to hold myself and how to act to come off in the authority position. I have yet to incorporate investment in terms of like, "Hey let me see your *article of clothing or jewelry*" but I will keep this in mind tomorrow.

Today, I was talking to a girl and I realized while writing this post that I had broken circle with her. I turned around to answer some girls stupid question when I should have just said, "No" without turning around. And on top of that, two other girls jumped in too. One of them was being starky, but it was clear that she was jealous that I was giving this girl attention and not her.

People have rarely interrupted me when in a conversation... I was just surprised to have just realized girls "cockblocking" each other... just wow... but the preselection... too good... I don't know if I was losing or winning at that point but it felt pretty awesome...

Unfortunately, nothing really turned out of this though cos I found out she has a boyfriend and the other three girls were in a studying for an exam. So I'm going to chalk this up as a loss, but a few lessons learned and I had fun testing some other things and reaffirming others.