Way of the Jedi

[DarkJedi]

Today's the day!

I've been thinking of starting a journal to keep tabs on my progress and also what I'm thinking about. This year I had decided to take pickup seriously and started posting on this forum. My plans got derailed for a bit, but I'm back now! Will try to post regularly about whatever I'm upto.

My Current State​

I mostly do daygame now. Was more into social circle and online game before, but want to develop cold approach. Do a lot of direct approaches and sometimes situational, if I can find good opportunities. I do get a fair amount of phone numbers and have a few lays from daygame, but a lot of the numbers have been flaky. Don't have much of approach anxiety if I'm going out regularly, but I do tend to get approach pessimism. Like I'd see a girl, think of all the reasons why it won't work and just not go for it. Coz of all the flaky and non responsive numbers going nowhere. Maybe its another form of AA, dunno. I need to get better results soon, else its getting hard to keep being motivated.

What I'm gonna be working on​

• Ignore the pessimistic thoughts and approach without hesitation
• Keeping a happy positive mental state consistently. Approaches go way better when I'm in the right headspace. Me being introverted, I think negative thoughts tend to derail me too easily.
• Develop my sexual vibe
• Experiment with more indirect and situational styles. I've been suggested by multiple people here to go more indirect to get better results
• Get RESULTS: Need to get some consistency in getting laid through daygame. Play to win.

Another specific thing I want to work on is approaching from the front while the girl is walking towards me, a.k.a. policeman stop. I tend to let the girl pass and then run up behind her, since it feels less pressure to me. But I imagine doing the policeman stop will be better since it is following law of least effort. Just need to be quick on my feet, less hesitation. I'll try both angles:

1. Casual direct. Just a light direct compliment. I imagine I have to make it look spontaneous and nonchalant
2. Indirect-direct. Asking for directions and then transitioning to a compliment

 

[DarkJedi]

Dec 16, 2023​

Tried indirect after a long time. I was going to another city for a festival which was at least an hour away by train.

#1 Tattoo girl
On the way, I sat beside a girl who was reading a book. Looked a bit alternative with some cute tattoos. I made eye contact when I first sat and we both smiled. Then I just did my own thing for a while, made a phone call. After the phone call I casually opened saying "I'm guessing what you're reading is a fantasy book". Turned out to be a completely different kind of book, but she responded very well. We talked for the whole journey. I learned that she had a boyfriend, and she had moved to the country because of him, so was not keeping my hopes up. Conversation was kind of platonic, but with some really light teases. She mentioned that she found it bold and commendable that I could start a conversation with her on the train.

When it was time for her to get off, she actually asked for my number saying that it would be cool to meet up! I nonchalantly said yeah that would be good and gave her my number. I texted her an icebreaker evening but she's not replied a day later. Go figure! Wonder if my nonchalance put her to autoreject?

## During the festival I made friends with a big family that was visiting. All good vibes. So the whole time we were talking, making jokes and having a good time. Really got my social muscles a workout. Since I'm also working on being more social in general, I didn't care that I didn't do approaches.

#2 Afghan girl from Germany
I was waiting for the train to get back then a girl came down from another train on the platform. Really beautiful, dark hair, dressed all in black. I was in a good mood already, and she kind of seemed like hovering near me, even though it could be because she was looking at the train screen. I kept glancing at her and at one point of time we made eye contact for the second time. I smiled and and asked where she wanted to go. Turns out she needed to go to my city so it was perfect. I asked her to wait with me. She had a very playful vibe and we were vibing pretty hard already.

In the train we talked a lot. This girl is very playful, and when its like that, its easy for me to tease her and have fun. She is completely religious though, never had a boyfriend and lives in a different country. Visiting some friends here for a day. Felt that chances are pretty slim. We said goodbyes at the station after exchanging Instagram.

Did a few direct approaches too

#3 Christian girl on platform
I was distracted while walking into the food court of the station and realized a girl was checking me out as she passed by. I hesitated a bit, then followed her down to the platform. Quickly opened direct, and as I had hoped, got a very positive reaction

DarkJedi: Listen, I have no business being here in this platform and I gotta go home soon, but I saw you and I just loved your outfit. It is so cute!
HB: (beaming) Really? You think so?
DarkJedi: Yes. Everyone wears such similar things here. And you stand out so much in a good way. Look at this cap (touched her cap) so cute

She was very attracted from her body language, legs crossed, and nervous in a good way. We were standing very close.
After some chitchat, I said we should grab a coffee now or very soon.
She said she would want to but can't!
I laughed saying that it was a stupid thing to say, and she explained that she was a devout Christian and can only date to marry, and if the man's belief doesn't align with her's, it wouldn't work out.
I just wished her luck and left. In retrospect, might have been interesting to persist and take her on an instant date anyway, seeing as how attracted she was.

#4 Married girl
Saw a cute girl walk past, caught up to her, touched her shoulder and opened direct. She responded positively but said she is married. Wished her a good evening.

#5 Girl on a bench
Saw a cutie on a bench. Sat beside her and opened direct. I could see from the start it won't go well from her facial expression. She responded neutrally. We chatted briefly. She had to get up to catch her train, so just to be a closer, I asked to get coffee sometime and she declined, saying that it feels weird for her that such a short interaction should lead to a coffee. Guess some girls need more of a Hollywood moment of serendipity

General Takeaways​

• I was in a good mood, happy. Very calm. My vibe was good, and most girls responded well. I also cared less whether it went well or not. Detachment from the outcome. Need to get this more as my baseline
• My body language, my walk, was very relaxed. Sometimes when I'm paying too much attention to get my fundamentals right, it comes across as stiff.
• My vocal tonality was not the deepest, it did come from my diaphragm. It was more expressive and energetic though, than other days when I'm trying to just keep it very deep. I'm getting a feeling the expressiveness draws them in more initially, and more depth is better left for later stages in the seduction. Need to experiment more on this.

 

[DarkJedi]

Dec 19, 2023​

Went to get some groceries done at the supermarket in the center. This one is open late and has the best footfall in terms of HB's.

#1 Girl wearing a coat
Made EC with a girl wearing a white coat. Looked cute. EC was neutral, and she didn't seem the social type. Approached her directly sometime later. Opening wasn't smooth, she said thanks to my compliment. Tried to say a few more things but she was not investing. Cut my losses and moved on

#2 Girl I knew
In the spirit of trying more indirect, I tried @StrayDog's brilliant opener ("I can see you're putting quite some thought to this") on a girl who was standing at the chocolate section for a while. It was received pretty warmly, but then I realized I've approached her before and got her number
We ended up not going out since I had gone on vacation. She apparently now has a boyfriend.
So not a cold approach, but I think the opener works super-well, since she had not recognized me at the start. Need to try this one more.

#3 Girl with strong EC
I suddenly turn around and made EC with this super-cute girl. I could tell she was intrigued. I hestitated and waited since the girl I knew was around. I waited for her to leave but this girl left earlier
I gotta be bolder and give less of a fuck. I think of what other people will think. Yet realistically it wouldn't have mattered if the girl I knew saw me chatting up this one.

Lost a few more opportunities waiting and looking for the right moment to approach. A few where I could have spontaneously approached in a low-effort way since the girl came to where I was at, but I couldn't react fast enough.

Takeaways​

• Gotta be bolder
• Gotta practice thinking more on my feet

 

[DarkJedi]

Dec 22, 2023​

Me and my buddy decided to go check out an Afro-house event in town. We'd taken a break from the dancefloor and was hanging out in the lounge.

Spotted a dark-haired cutie getting drinks at the bar. Waited for her to finish ordering and when she was returning, opened her from the side, direct and raw. Instant hook. Lots of banter and touch. She said she was married though. The interaction was very good though, and I wonder if I should have done something the same night. Took her number but no reply to texts (honestly was expecting this).

I'll write up an FR later to get some opinions.

Also did a few sets in the dance floor later. Didn't hook. My dance floor game is very weak, but I'm much more aware of what's happening. I'm doing smoother opens. No blowouts unlike before, and rejections are subtler. I'd take that as a plus. Although I'm probably not pushing myself as much as I could.

The other win: I enjoyed the event and the music and was on good energy, upbeat, without a drop of alcohol. I've done non-alcohol nights before but wasn't in such good state. So it was good to see it's possible for me!

 

[DarkJedi]

Dec 23, 2023​

Went out with @MrRapo for a daygame sesh in the city. Was fun! Also got some suggestions from him that'll help. This is the first time I went daygaming with another daygamer. All other times was me going solo or sometimes approaching girls when I'm out with friends. Should be doing this more often.

I was not in the best of states though, I realize now. Very in my head, not so calm or grounded or present. I think not getting much sleep after the previous night-out was a big factor. Mindset wise, instead of the "calm, entitled dude who assumes girls would love his approaches" or the "happy, fun nonchalant dude bringing value" mood, both of which give me good results, I was in the "hopeful, sincere good guy" mood. Anyway, things got a bit better later. Final girl was a GOOD set.

I approached around 10 girls in total that day. Writing about a few that stood out in some way:

1st Girl
Saw her pass by walking opposite us. Didn't have eye contact. Went up and opened from the side, touching her on her shoulder.

Hey! (pause to get her full attention)
I was walking with my friend and just noticed you pass by. You looked really cute. These earrings really work well for you!

She was pretty warm and smiled, thanked me. I was blanking out, so went with "how are you doing today".
She said she just saw a protest march about the Israel war and was feeling very emotional. Noticed her eyes were watery.
I was completely blindsided and didn't know what to respond with.

DarkJedi: Oh really? Yeah I can imagine
HB: Yes. Thanks. I'm really feeling off-center right now and would like to have some time by myself if you don't mind.
DarkJedi: Sure. Have a good day!

Honestly never had this kind of a curveball, that too on my first approach. In retrospect, some pacing and leading towards happy thoughts might have helped. Like:

DarkJedi: Oh yes. It is unimaginable what's happening there.
HB: Yeah
DarkJedi: While we're sitting here looking forward to Christmas. Honestly we sometimes don't realize how lucky we are.
HB: That's so true
DarkJedi: Are you getting some Christmas shopping done today? Or you're the person who preps everything a month in advance?

Girl in a hurry
A girl just passed us by and I opened her in a similar way. I was a bit rushed. She directly said thank you and said she was in a hurry. I was like

DJ: "oh really? Tell me, how much of a hurry are you really in?"
HB: I have to catch a train to meet my friend

I let her go.
Mr. Rapo said I could have told her to stay for 2 mins. I tried that in a later set.

Polite Asian Girl
Approached an Asian looking girl. She was walking really chill, looking at the shop, I opened mentioning that. Introverted and shy, had a decent conversation. After sometime I was getting bored, she wasn't investing much to the conversation. I just said that I gotta go but we should get coffee sometime. She gave some excuse I don't remember.

Mr. Rapo mentioned I'm ejecting too soon and I should keep on holding the conversation if they aren't as long as they don't wanna leave. This girl looked like the polite type who wouldn't leave unless I leave

After this Mr. Rapo left.

Girl in a hurry #2
Approached a girl in a farmer's market who was passing by. Generic compliment. I could see from the get go she want to eject. Sure enough, in 1 mins she said she needed to go and was walking away while maintaining eye contact. But I had a good vibe in this interaction and I smiled and said in a commanding voice "no, wait 2 mins". She stopped and we talked a bit more, till she said she really had to go. I smiled and lightly took her hand. She let me hold it for a sec and then said sorry and went off.

Realized 2 things:

• I had tried telling them to wait 2 mins at other times but it had never worked. I was using a weak tonality then. The commanding voice helped. I still need to make good use of the extra time I get though. Some way to turn around the interaction
• I was surprised she took the handholding in a normal way even though the interaction at that point had gone downhill. Just a reminder that it is ok to incorporate more touch in daygame

Married Girl
Talked to a girl looking at shops in the market. I could see from her body language she isn't interested (angled away, not making too much eye contact, looking more at the shop), but she happily engaged in the conversation, smiling and being witty and funny herself. Turns out she's married. Reminder to me that body language never lies.

After this I went inside the mall. Sat down to chill for a bit and calm myself. Realized I was VERY tired. Decided to do a last few approaches.

A Serbian girl who's a lesbian.

Ukrainian w/glasses
Complimented on her glasses. Neutral response. But managed to get her engaged in the conversation: mentioned that she's the first Ukrainian blonde I had seen and segwaying into my Poland trip. At some point, asked her out but she said she's in some issues she doesn't wanna discuss and is not looking to date. I told her in a dominant way

DJ: No. Here's how we're gonna do this. Give me your number. I'll text you only once. If you reply, we're going out, else that's it.

She agreed and gave me her number. But as expected it was a useless lead (no reply to icebreaker)

Dutch girl w/glasses
Yeah I have a thing for chicks with glasses
Approached this one, very cute and my type (petite, dark haired). And I think it was shown on my face really clearly that I found her attractive. I complimented on her glasses as well, but I was very expressive and raw on this one. She loved it and melted! We talked random stuff. I was physically close, toucher her quite a few times. I asked her what she was upto, thinking I could get her into an instant-date. She said she was shopping and now was waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up. Saaaad. Left her, she was still beaming when I left

Most of my best reactions to direct approaches have been where its been very raw and I was very expressive about how much I found them attractive

Sadly it doesn't happen often when I'm out specifically to daygame. Otherwise I'd have to wait ages between approaches. God I miss Poland

I mean here especially in winter most girls don't dress up, so I can't even go guns blazing calling her looking amazing when even she knows she's dressed down. Situational stuff might work, but not in street-stop scenarios of course. I could try to switch up the compliment to something else: something about the way she moves, her vibe, etc. I do that occasionally but I can look for those more. And also try indirect->direct which is one of my goals.

Polish Girl with her Mom
Was inside the mall supermarket. Saw a cute girl but she was with her mom. At some point they were separated and I approached her. She was warm but had a bf. When she heard I've been to Poland, we had a good conversation, she investing and also us joking about Krakow/Warsaw "war". Her mom had come back by then, and I had acknowledged her, said hi, she didn't seem to mind. Left after a bit, they both wished me Merry Christmas in Polish.
Still to try: approaching a girl with her mom/dad near her. Think I did that once in Poland, but feel a lot of resistance.

The Final Girl
I biked back towards home and stopped to get groceries from the local supermarket. Place was quiet and I was feeling more chill. I noticed a girl in a red coat, walking around more laidback than the others. We made casual eye contact a few times across aisles. Instincts were telling me she's interested and available.
Found her later at another aisle and casually sauntered in, delivering my opener without eye contact (make her look at me first).

DJ: I have to say I love the coat!
HB: turns towards me with a questioning look
DJ: Didn't you hear me? I said I love your coat
HB: (beaming) Oh thank you! I wasn't sure you were talking to me
DJ: (laughing) There's no one else here in the aisle!!

We had a good conversation for ~15 mins. She was upbeat, investing, making self-deprecating jokes. It was light and breezy, teased her a few times. After sometime

DJ: blah blah. Hey it was great meeting you. I gotta run though, getting real hungry. We should get a coffee sometime
HB: Sure!!
DJ: Here. Put in your number
HB: Ok. Do you know how to write my name though?

Ooh a playful shit-test?

DJ: (non-chalantly) I've been here for 9 years, I got you But can YOU say my name correctly though?
HB: Its DJ right?
DJ: Hey, you're not doing too bad!

Exchanged numbers. Talked a bit more, then left after hugging her.
Not sure about the hugging. She seemed slightly surprised. We'll see how this goes.
Sent her an ice-breaker a few hours later, no reply. Will send her an ask-out text a day or two later as was mentioned in https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/when-they-dont-reply-to-the-icebreaker-text.28411/

Takeaways​

• Raw opens where I'm very attracted turn out real good
• Need to try some other compliments about her vibe, etc. when I can't find something physical to comment on
• Sleep better and possibly meditate before going out daygaming
• Latch on to the "entitled assume-attraction" vibe that gets me results
• Don't eject too soon if the girl isn't investing and yet stays in set

I'm still to develop more of my sexual vibe which draws them in. I've managed to hit that a few times in the past few weeks but its far from my default state when approaching. When things are not ideal, default mode becomes the good hopeful guy. Need to cut that out.

 

[DarkJedi]

Dec 27, 2023​

Went out today for a couple of hours, daygaming mostly in the streets and some in the mall.

I was wearing contacts for a change, and also kept my wintercoat open and not buttoned up since it was not too cold. Think this is a better look overall. Was getting more IOI's in the streets.

Approached around 10 girls. Writing down some significant ones

2-set with IOI
Saw a girl make strong eye contact with me as we crossed each other, she was with another girl. They went into a bookstore. I thought for a sec and then went in. Saw them checking out some stuff in an aisle. Approach angle wasn't the best but just went in confidently and calmly (waiting would be awkward since she would know I had just for her) and tapped her on the shoulder:

DJ: Hey. This might be a bit forward (she's already fully turned towards me and smiling) but we made eye contact in the street and I just loved your vibe. I had to come say hi.
HB: Oh than you! That is very bold of you but I love it!

Turns out she's visiting her cousin here (the other girl) and lives in a different country, leaving in 2 days. I complimented how confident her vibe is. I looked at the other girl and she introduced herself. I was talking to both of them, keeping them engaged. Somehow I get discouraged when I hear someone will leave soon, so I was not focusing specifically on her. Also, up close, she was less cute than I thought. The other girl is married.

After sometime, on a high note, I said it would have been great if she would be here for a few more days, and wished them a good evening. She suggested we could exchange Instagram, and I asked her to find me. Left afterwards

I texted her later in the evening complimenting her confidence. Replied enthusiastically. I said if she's free the next day, we could get drinks. She said she would like to spend the rest of the time with her cousin and family and would love to meet the next time she's around.

What I could have done was to ask to meet the next day while we were talking, but only after she asked for Insta (more investment from her). But you never know how these things turn out!

Overall, happy that I did a 2-set, which was one of my side-goals. Even though it was off an IOI

3-set
No IOI. Saw a couple and a lone girl with them near the church square. I was hesitating and was hovering around without them noticing. Then was like fuck it and went and approached direct.
"Hey! This might be a bit forward but..."
She says she actually has a husband (lol all these chicks getting married so early)
I laughed and said "Oh damn! I looked at you and I was like these 2 are together, and this one is not, perfect!"
They all laughed. Thought that was good to defuse the tension a bit, since the couple were looking at me a bit confused.

At the Mall
Approached a few at the mall. Mostly rejections.

A Greek girl who was friendly but from BL I knew she'd bail.

A Dutch girl who seemed completely unimpressed. I'm happy I kept up my dominant vibe and didn't fall into her frame (I have tended to do that in the past when they act unimpressed or bored).

HB: yeah. But I'm in a rush since I have to find my friends, dunno where they are
DJ: Hahaha yeah sure. Everyone loses their friends once in a while, they come back. (she laughs) Stay for 2 mins.
HB: No, sorry I have to go
DJ: (roll my eyes) Ok bbye

Deff not falling into a weak frame but don't think a set like this can be salvaged anyway. Maybe could have approached her from the

Another Dutch girl who basically admitted when asked that she considers being approached in the street less socially appropriate than meeting someone from Tinder. Gotta love her honesty.

Went into the supermarket inside the mall. Was hesitating. Finally opened a girl direct. Ukrainian. Was visibly attracted, but said she has started dating someone. I laughed asking how long -> 1 month. Laughed more, touching her shoulder, "1 month? You never know what's gonna happen. How did you meet? Tinder?" She says off a sporting club. We talked a bit about her sport and I teased her about it. I asked for an instant date, she says she has to meet friends later. I teased her a bit and then asked her for a coffee. Says we could hang out as friends. I said "I can't promise anything about friends, but we can hang out" and asked her to save my number. After that I asked her to send me a text. It took a while since she had made a mistake with my country code. All the while she's compliant and I could see she's a bit nervous (hands were shaking while operating the phone). I text her a day later, no response. Wasn't too surprised. I had just ploughed my way into the phone number.

Grocery store near home
Stopped by to get groceries. Direct opened a Dutch girl with orange hair. Was receptive but said she has a bf. Tbh I was going blank on this one, I kind of went in assuming Dutch girl, won't give a good response lol. Should have cold read or teased or something.

Takeaways​

• Happy that I approached a 2-set and a 3-set. Should try this more often in future till it feels equally easy as lone wolves. Girls in 2-sets seem more chill too since they have their friends nearby.
• With resistant girls, I'm happy that I'm resisting them or calling them out in a socially calibrated way. Keeps my ego happy. I doubt it will help change the outcome of the interaction though. I'm off the opinion that interested girls don't make it difficult in daygame. I'm atleast having fun and feeling dominant, not a pushover.
• I suspect I have a few specific things to improve:
  • Atleast for walking sets, I'm not able to hook consistently. My opening might be being generic or not impactful, not drawing them enough. Also, for people who do stop, I could try hooking better with cold reads, teases, etc. Something to think about
  • I should sprinkle compliance whenever possible, to increase investment. I'll make a post on that to get some ideas
  • I should add qualification and/or screening before asking for dates/numbers. I have had success in the past without that, but I think it does help showing the girl I have a standard beyond looks and she's meeting it

 

[DarkJedi]

Filling in the last entry from the previous year:

Dec 30, 2023​

I just did a few targeted approaches in the train station (my city) when coming back from another city. All of them hooked! I have to say I was in a very good state. Just a combination of the momentum from previous days and having a chill day walking exploring a different city. Unlike the previous few times, I only went for a girl I genuinely felt drawn towards. I had been open to approach girls in the city I went to as well, but I had literally found no one interesting to approach.

Girl in leather coat
I was going into a store inside the station and a girl wearing a leather coat was coming out. Looked great. We made eye contact but it was completely neutral. Found her again while I was outside the store and approached her. Instant hook! I was playful-dominant, with touch and teases. We exchanged numbers. She ended up coming over the next week. Will be posting an LR-

Dreamy girl
A girl caught my eye, moving slow, very calm and dreamy. First tried to find a smooth way to approach while she was walking but couldn't. She then sat in one of the benches in the train waiting area. I thought for a second, then went and sat beside her without making eye contact. As soon as I sat, I half-turned my head in her direction:

DJ: Hey! (she turns her head, I make eye contact) You know, I was just gonna go home, but you caught my eye. (pause) You looked super calm and I loved your vibe.

Turns out she just had a fight with her flatmates and was going home to her parents lol.

DJ: (sceptica smile, almost laughing) Really? A fight with your flatmates? How bad can it be?

She then talked about that for a bit. Just a general good conversation, she was investing and making jokes herself, asking about me. At some point I said that I would like to get her out for a drink another day, when she said her boyfriend would not like that perhaps. I laughed and said "that's too bad, for both of us!". She agreed.
We talked a bit more and left after giving her a hug.
This was more of a nice, good-vibes conversation. Not so polarizing. But a pretty smooth open.

Takeaways​

• The more targeted, smooth opens definitely lead to better reception. But I needed the more spammy approaches I did in previous days, to build momentum and reduce AA
• One of the biggest determinants of a good state, more than anything, is calm groundedness, non-chalance. You can be grounded and high-energy as well. But the groundedness, the belief that everything is fine, you don't need anything, and yet you can go for the things you want: these change your vibe and your facial expressions too, and the girl picks up on it. Mirror neurons!

 

[DarkJedi]

Writing this down before it gets foggy in my head.

Jan 13, 2024​

I approached just 6/7 girls today and got 4 numbers. My vibe was so on point! I've slowly been improving on that, and things are clicking into place.

Some of the keys to that vibe I see:

1. One the BIGGEST determinants of a good, seductive vibe is being calm, chill, grounded. Low stress. Not anxious. Even more than vocal tonality, eye contact, etc. Those add to the effect, and your internal calmness will also bring about better vocals and EC
2. A sense of peace. That everything is fine. You got nothing to prove
3. A sense of entitlement, dominance. You influence your environment, not the other way round. You give yourself permission to do what you want. You don't seek approval.
4. Don't break tension unless absolutely required. Similarly, your frame is stronger. Let them break their frame.

1-4 build up on each other. So, for the sense of entitlement to be effective, you need 1 and 2.

What do you do when you don't have the vibe? Start with 1 and build up from there. Easiest way to "upgrade" 1 is meditation.

This does not stop you from being higher energy btw. You can be higher energy at points, with this calm energy at the base. Your energy is contained, ready to burst out at your will. Also, this calm sexual vibe vibe is different from a low-energy vibe. That is not powerful.

When you do have these on point, what it looks from the outside:

• Stronger, unapologetic eye contact which is taken positively (and not creepily) by girls since its coming from calm confidence
• Your body language, walk are slower, not so big "alpha" movements but still get AI's (its more contained)
• You smile less, and its not taken negatively (I used to believe at one point if you don't smile people will think you're too serious, or creepy)
• But there's a hint of a playful smile ready to break out if you feel like -> you're at ease
• You change topics and vibe on the fly, since you're in your own frame

Need to be careful about not becoming too friendly when in this vibe (dropping tension), or seeming too serious. Friendly and this vibe has similarities. Intuition will help, just need to be aware.

 

[DarkJedi]

Jan 13, 2024 (continued)​

A short continuation to the previous thread. The 4 girls I got numbers of:

Girl in Red
I was browsing in the accessories section of a clothing store in the capital city (accessories -> for both guys and girls, so looks less suspicious to be hanging out there) and saw this striking girl: red sweater, red shoes. She's screaming wanting to be noticed. Approached her: "Listen, I saw you before there while I was walking by. This outfit you've got going is fucking stunning!"
She loved it. Asked where she's from. She's from Romania. I could sense she was thinking of leaving, so preempted and started talking about Poland and got her engaged. She was hooked.

After a while asked her out for instant date. She complied but suggested a place she knew. (in retrospect should have not let her take the lead). Anyway, at the place we talked. She was very open, but also completely comfortable, blase. I definitely had lost the frame somewhere. Long story short, we parted ways at one point, exchanging numbers. She saved my number the next day. Had texted her for a meet one of the days I was in the city, but she said she'd be late at work. Didn't expect this to have worked.

Takeaway: Should have led more. She definitely was a strong-willed chick. Always trying to have the last say. Annoying even. Better frame control? Maybe gonna post an FR and see what everyone thinks.

Girl in Train
I just happened to sit opposite two girls on the train back who were speaking English. One of the girls looked really familiar, thought I had seen her somewhere. I opened with: "Am I having a Deja vu or do I know you". She said she didn't, but it was a good indirect in. The whole time we talked about normal getting to know stuff and joked, but there was clear tension.

I'm happy I'm able to do this. I used to do this years ago, but it was not calibrated. Girls who liked it loved it, but I creeped others out. Then I completely lost it trying to be "friendly" in order to be liked and not creeped out. Now I'm slowly going back to it, but with calibration.

Anyway, we exchanged numbers after some resistance on her side (she "doesn't wanna date").
She was responsive over text but then I couldn't make it happen.
Discussed in https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/girls-who-respond-super-slow-on-text-what-to-do.28512/ (Girl 1)

Girl outside grocery store
This was also mostly about seductive vibe than anything else.
She was smoking outside. She works in the store. We made eye contact while I went in. Somehow seemed a very sexual eye contact. I went back outside, saw her from the corner of my eye (I was past the entrance and she was standing on one side of it). She looked back. I turned and walked by her side and opened. Don't remember what I said but something direct. She was visibly attracted and nervous. I had dominant tonality and we just talked about what she does and I do etc.

Honestly very bad verbals, but I was super chill. I was practicing saying really basic shit but with very good non-verbals and it was keeping her very much interested. Even blanked out at some point but recovered with some mundane shit. At some point I just said, "we should get a drink sometime". Sure! She said and we exchanged numbers. Then we talked a bit more and I said I will go in. She says she's done with her cigarette too in an approval-seeking way and follows me inside where we parted ways.

Texting was shit (Girl 2) in the same post (https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/girls-who-respond-super-slow-on-text-what-to-do.28512/). There was just attraction and nothing else, so I'm not surprised it didn't work out. Should have qualified at least at some point. I think I did a tiny bit when she had said she's doing her Master's (I said nice with a cocky smile).

Can't remember the 4th girl
Should write these entries sooner

 

[DarkJedi]

I'm noticing that my vibe remains generally good. And for me it is so tied to my internal state. An internal state which is just chill, not trying hard. I'm still aware of what are good and bad fundamentals, and I fix them when they are not good, but there's a general peace, or the thought that "it'll be ok". I'm starting to believe things can and will happen, and I'm not attached to a specific outcome (getting a specific girl). I'm still aware of the bigger goals.

What this looks like in real life:

• There's a certain looseness and ease in my movements without looking sloppy
• Movements are naturally slow, including eye movements
• Relaxed eyes and facial expressions <- I think this is KEY and comes naturally from a chill internal state (let go of outcome/attachment state).
• I'm sometimes having a slight smile on my lips. More self-amusement. Like I'm just chill and enjoying myself. Not reactive to anything outside
• I'm sometimes lost in thought but in a calm way

The effects:

• I'm getting way more IOI's with this relaxed neutral vibe than with all the other expressions I've tried (smirking, trying to look aloof, etc.)
• I can look at and check out any girl unapologetically, and most look back (earlier they would look away quickly). When I look at them, I'm mostly looking at them with the neutral expression and relaxed eyes, but unwavering eye contact. Peripheral vision is still important of course, but this is a welcome development
• Along with this my vocals are relaxed
• My openers are less robotic and seem more spontaneous (the words may or may not be unique, but my general vibe seems spontaneous)
• There's a general feeling of seeking no approval. I think that comes across when I approach or say my words: its like I expect them to stop, listen and assume a positive outcome

I think this neutral facial expression is working because of the internal chillness. If I have a neutral expression but I'm anxious or pissed, it shows on my face, and they don't give IOI's, as I have witnessed in the past.

Another thing I'm doing is parting my lips sometimes. I think it is helping too. Picked it up from Chase's article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/tactics-tuesdays-part-your-lips

Street stops are getting easier too: stopping them like its the most natural thing to do. They take in my calmness and quiet confidence and stay there. A calm vibe calms them down I suppose.

The last few times, even the girls who are not single don't leave until I want to end the conversation.

BUUUT I'm getting lazy with the verbals. No banter, qualification, or anything. And I think sometimes I go too chill. I need to bring back my cockiness and contained high energy along with the calmness.

Its good to get the vibe down pat though. I hope it sticks and does not go away.

Another curious thing: my mind is not actually chill overall. I have things I'm thinking about constantly: my career, if I want to stay in this country or move somewhere else. But these thoughts are not affecting the vibe when I'm approaching. Maybe I'm better able to compartmentalize them? Or just that I'm more comfortable approaching, with more positive reference experiences.

 

[DarkJedi]

Been a while! Almost a month.

I've been grappling with too many things recently and gaming has been on the backseat. I'm stuck and I really need to move. I'm in the middle of:

• Trying to change my job
• Considering whether I should stay in this country or move somewhere else
• Figuring out if I still like the career I'm in

And they are related. Getting a new job depends on deciding where I'd like to live and whether I want a career switch. On top of that, I want to buy a house if I do decide to stay here. I feel gridlocked into inaction. Anyway, I'm applying to jobs both here and abroad to feel things out. That is at least getting the ball rolling.

As for gaming, I tried to game once in the 3 weeks ago and it was disastrous. My mood was super low, I felt tired those days. Completely in my head, super-high AA, bad receptions from girls. Definitely not chill. So I decided to take a pause till I sort out things in my head a bit.

The good thing is I could tell myself this time that my good vibe should come back soon and my AA should reduce, since I had it going just a few weeks earlier. I kept faith, didn't stress. Positive reference experiences help! (But those times of high AA are really frustrating tbh!!)

A week back, I went to a meetup and met some new people. Nice change of scenery. While coming back, did an approach at the train station. Girl ended up a weird one, but my approach went fine. I could see my chill was coming back.

Approached a few in the supermarket yesterday and today. Went ok, although all 3 were not single. Low-key chill approaches. I got good receptions, good conversation and I tried to keep up tension and non-reactivity. But yeah, I don't know if all is good. Need to see how it will be with the single girls! I still have AA, after a whole day of work and being inside. Letting nice opportunities pass. Need to act faster.

I can't properly focus on the gaming though with all the stuff going on, and I realize I need to do proper gaming sessions to level up. Full immersion for at least a day or two every week.

And I also realize I need to PLAY to CLOSE. Need to be more aggressive mentally to get the dates. That should be the target. Need that edge and drive.

 

[DarkJedi]

Feb 24, 2024​

Today was a cool and interesting day! Got some epiphanies lads!

I went to the capital to meet up with some pickup dudes. Second time I'm meeting them. Nice people at various levels. Very positive bunch. One of them is really good and it was cool to hear some of the stuff he's been able to pull off. Got some tips about texting as well.

This guy is more of the dominant happy fun vibe, very positive and extraverted, and uses direct game exclusively. I think it works well, the combination of the fun dominant vibe and direct game, based on my experience as well, but I think it would work on only a subset of girls. But his mindset is "if she doesn't like it, she isn't my girl". Very cool prize frame. Although I think there needs to be a balance between that and seeing how to tweak your game as necessary, else you'd be blind to your mistakes. I take pickup as a challenge and to be able to pull girls of different personalities is cool. I do have a tendency to overanalyze and overthink, so keeping the "if she doesn't like me, she isn't my girl" in mind in small dozes would be beneficial. OR atleast detach my ego from the results/rejections.

The other thing we got out of the meeting was accountability: set goals to approach girls each day. The goals we set ourselves and were different based on what stage we were in. For me, I'll approach for half an hour everyday at a high-volume place in my city like the mall, instead of supermarkets like I do. Supermarkets are my comfort zone and there's way less hotties coming by for the amount of time I'm inside. Also, I'll do more of the dominant and fun approaches for a week to get an idea how its working for me. I'll try to seed the date during the approach, which we here in the forum talk about as well.

Girl in Bookstore
Another thing that happened was while we were talking a girl passed walked by a few times in the bookstore where we were sitting, I found her cute and approached. Super relaxed, but internally I was anxious. "Hey. I was sitting with my friends there. I saw you a few times while you were walking about. Something about you really made me curious and I was distracted. I just had to come up and say hi". Curious thing was I was pretty anxious and it could be heard in my voice, but I tried to keep myself calm, give strong eye contact, and it worked well. I guess this was a very "genuine" approach.

We had a pretty good conversation, and I ejected after a while when I realized she's not single. I think I'm getting pretty good with the chill relaxed vibe, which works well with the super-calm girls like this one. It could be too startling for these girls if I do a dominant high energy approach. The thing I used to do wrong before with these girls were to be overly nice and platonic. Trying to reduce tension. Now I am just chill and relaxed, but hold strong eye contact, pauses. I smile very minimally on approach. Of course I'll laugh or smile if the situation calls for it while in conversation, when its natural. Its all about holding frame, holding power, not giving it away. FRAME is everything. And the easiest way to be like this is to mentally shift your mindset from inside, not from outside.

Then a few of us went out for some approaches. It was also interesting to see the others approach. Looking at them, I realize I'm not that bad lol!
Some notable ones:

Girl wearing cool coat
Spotted an Asian girl wearing a cool coat, walking on the other side of the street, and walked to approach her. Approached over the shoulder and made her stop. It was dominant, high energy, but at the same time non-chalant. Girl loved it, we vibed. She is a fun one. Bantered, some conversation here and there. Some cold reads too. She was just out shopping and I could sense we could have done an instant date easily. But it was my first set and I had other plans later, so I just took her number. Tried to seed the date but she said she's busy on weekdays but free on weekends. So I left it as sometime in the weekend, not going to specific since it was a whole week away. I was very matter-of-fact with the proposal: like its the most usual thing to do.

Cold girl outside store
Girl was standing eating something outside a store. I sauntered up and opened over my shoulder (so she's perpendicular to me) in my relaxed way, and could sense from the outset she wasn't impressed. "Can I help you" in a stonecold stare lol. I would have fumbled before and start sounding over-friendly and apologetic, but this time I just kept calm and delivered my opened. She said she doesn't feel social. I tried to pace her: "I see, bad day?". She just said "have a good day" and I left. Sets like these I can see from the starting second that it won't go anywhere.

I wonder if it would help if my approach energy was different: maybe the more fun positive vibe? Other ways I've salvaged situations like this is by reframing in a fun way depending on context: "I'm just out here being social, are you people from XYZ not so social"?-> works better in parks, beaches, and other stationary situations.

Shy excited girl in clothing store
Saw this girl with cool glasses in the store, she didn't see me. When she passed me once and made eye contact, I immediately went to her and opened (in a store, opening after one eye contact is good if you open with higher energy, seems spontaneous. If you open after multiple eye contacts, maybe better to be more subtle when opening) complimenting her glasses. She seems the shy excited type and I could see she was attracted and holding strong eye contact, pupils dilated. Beautiful. Fluffed a bit, she was shy but playful. I mentioned to her: you're shy but you like knowing people. She agreed. I also said this to "make her agree to frames that are positive to the seduction" like I've read in the forum recently. I could have easily got her to instant date but didn't coz I had to go somewhere soon. I just said dominantly and with a straight face: "I gotta go back to my friend now, but we should get a drink soon". She said "sure, why not?!". Nice! After exchanging numbers, I asked her about her rings in her hand and took her hand, caressed it while talking about the rings. Good kino! She was very compliant. I kept on talking about the jewellery and brushed her hair aside to check if she had earrings. I considered this VERY good kino, haven't been so forward in daygame before, a win. I could see the attraction spiking even more. I then said I'll go and she left, with a very excited goodbye.

I texted her later in the evening. Texting has been very dry for her, so I'm not sure. Maybe I should have done something then and went for instadate, maybe she's just a dry and shy texter. Or maybe it was just attraction and we didn't have enough rapport. We'll see. Set up a date for next weekend over text and she had a half assed yes.

Super-tall girl in train station
This was when I was back in my city. I think I had caught a glimpse of her when she was entering the station. I was walking and looked back, and spotted a VERY tall and cute girl walking behind, and she was looking at me (maybe she was already looking, or maybe she looked because I looked back, in which case this could be a good way to induce AI's: look back in the general direction and look for girls to look at you through peripheral vision). I walked, looking ahead and looked back again and saw her looking. Let her pass while I stopped, thought for a second and followed her to the platform. Opened her direct but VERY calm and non-chalant, about making mutual eye contact and the fact that I loved her outfit. Qualified why I liked her outfit. She was positively responsive, a bit nervous. We talked. Her train was coming, I just non-chalantly asked her to exchange numbers so we can talk later (somehow she felt like one of the shy ones, and it would be good to not ask for a drink already). She looked at the board and said while giving out the number "oh we have 6 mins, it should be fine" which was a good sign.

We've been texting. Let's see what happens.

Takeaways​

• I should approach girls less selectively. Being selective has helped me being more aware and calibrated, but its leading to some missed opportunities. If I find someone REALLY my type, I will approach. But the selectiveness was necessary to level up my game
• Relaxed non-needy vibe is very important, and to make a distinction, the non-chalance is what really makes a big difference. The devil-may-care, take it or leave it vibe. Most of my successful lays had this in the approach. I think the non-chalance can be dialed down if I'm going for the genuine, positive, high-energy dominant approach (Hector style), but for the relaxed low-energy approach, especially for calm girls, it is very required. Side note: when I'm very good with the dominant fun happy approach style, I'll try it with calm girls too to see if it works, since this vibe is easier to work with (easy texting and escalation)
• Girls want good emotions, transferred in an energy that is compatible with their current energy level
• I want to experiment: is it the non-smilingness which is really making the positive difference in the relaxed vibe? Or can I be non-chalant and smile and that is even better? My guess is that the relaxed low energy vibe needs to be less smiley. Its all about congruence, with the environment, girl and energy levels.

 

[DarkJedi]

Feb 25, 2024​

Today was a chill day, didn't do much game-wise. While in the supermarket near my place, approached a couple of girls. Decent conversations but all had bfs. I'm realizing that my area doesn't have the best demographics. Everyone dresses very bland and similar, so can't comment on clothing for example. And they're mostly not my type. Gotta find and stick to the good areas.

Feb 26, 2024​

Went out to daygame in the mall in my city. I was a bit late, close to closing time, and it was a Monday, so not too many people. Was not the best DG session!

Cute Asian
Approached a cute Asian chick, who turns out was only there for the night, on a business trip. She was sitting eating, and I sat down and said hi. Was a decent conversation, but turns out has a kid. I ejected soon after wishing her a good evening. But later realized maybe I should have tried: she didn't say the kid part as a rejection, more as part of the conversation later on. Maybe she's a single mom? Maybe she would have loved a night of fun with a stranger before going back to her normal existence? Who knows? You'll never know unless you try.

2-set with Ice-queen
This was tough! Approached a 2-set while they were talking. One ice-queen and the other normal and slightly sweet. Couldn't crack the ice queen. Should have gave attention to the sweeter girl maybe. I saw them later passing me, and the ice-queen gave flirty eye-contact. Awesome! I'll write up an FR to get some opinions.

Walking 2-set
Approached 2 walking girls with a genuine direct compliment to one of them. Turns out both from Spain. She was nice and not directly rejecting but from body language I knew she wanted to exit. After a while I just hail-mary'd and asked to get a drink and was hit with the bf line.

Some other girls
Approached a few in the mall supermarket. Didn't get good responses. I think after the brutal 2-set, my anxiety increased and they could sense it. I wasn't so chill, I could feel my voice tensed up and in my throat instead of below.

I realized my anxiety will keep on burning all the sets. I was anxious but also determined to have atleast one good interaction! I left the mall and walked, calmed myself somewhat. Stopped by the supermaket on my way home.

Girl in Supermarket
I was calm by now, and I saw this girl a few times. Talked in a more high-energy but chill way, opening with "hey, I saw you a few times. Something about you's making me curious. Where are you from actually?" She was fun and chatty, though she had a bf. I exited after a while.

Takeaways​

• Approaching 2-sets again. I should keep up with that!
• I'm wondering why I seem to get worse responses in my own city:
  • Was I just in a more anxious mindset? Or maybe I kind of expect this city to not give me good results?
  • Maybe girls in my city are actually more standoffish?
  • I do my DG session after work in my own city. So, lack of momentum, compared to say the day I went to the capital?
  • Maybe I was in an extra good mood when I did the approaches in the capital after hanging out with the pickup dudes
• If she has a kid or she's leaving town, don't eject unless she uses that as a rejection, or until you have assessed the situation

 

[DarkJedi]

Feb 29 - Mar 1, 2024​

I was at a conference for software devs. I mainly focused on the actual conference but I did try some stuff here and there. First day I was sleep-deprived and anxious in general, very low-energy, and I was definitely getting weird reactions from people. And I think I came off needy. Tried one or 2 situational approaches with girls but they got weirded out.

Day 2 was better. I was not very anxious. Just tried to have a good fun time from the start, bantered with random people. Also situationally opened single girls and it was atleast not taken weirdly. But I was definitely in my head and was constantly thinking that its weird to hit on girls here. So, I didn't stay in set. Just to get over that, towards the end of the event I actually approached a single girl sitting in a cafe and direct-opened her! (Opened with calmness and empathy: "Hey, this might be slightly inappropriate at a dev conference, but I saw you and was curious. Found you pretty cute...) Went positive and we had a conversation. I didn't do a great job and let the conversation turn platonic/businessy coz we're in the same field, and she declined a drink later saying she has to have dinner with colleagues. But I'm happy I atleast tried direct in such a scenario and got a decent reception.

Its all about the vibe!

Mar 2, 2024​

Remember I was wondering why I had such an amazing day at the capital city with multiple solid numbers? That it might be because of the capital city? Well it's not! I had a shitty daygame sesh at the capital today lol! The only external difference was that I was by myself and not with the other pickup dudes to keep me in a good mood (that really helps, being able to joke around after getting rejected for example).

I had a tonne of blowouts today. I started at my own city, where I actually had one or two ok sets, and one took my number (she was attracted but I was over-eager and jumped the gun I think). The rest was in the capital. Some observations about the failed sets, without going into the specific sets:

• I was not exactly anxious, but I was definitely attached to outcome. I WANTED it to work, and in retrospect, it showed. Not the chill, nonchalant, I-know-what-I-do-is-great vibe. It's so hard to get this when its not there!!
• I was not present, or genuine. Kind of like I was on autopilot, maybe saying similar things to other successful days, but I think it seemed fake. It didn't have the rawness of genuine feeling. Its like I have seen the "you look amazing!" or "your outfit looks amazing" line work so well in the past that I thought just saying it would work. But it didn't have the rawness behind it
• MAJOR one: my eye contact was not good, and also the vocal tonality, not so dominant. I had gone back to looking at their mouth a lot of times, which is an old habit I'm getting out of (and being on autopilot made me do this I suppose), or looking away too much while explaining things, instead of unflinching eye contact
• Also, since I was on autopilot and also because I was not getting warm receptions, I didn't have any hook game: no cold reads, no teasing, or even interesting conversation. Instead "how do you like it here" and other generic shit. Part of it I really think is because I got worked up seeing my opener was not receptively taken. BUT sometimes you need to take control of the conversation. In other off days, I've recovered by commenting on something, or saying something interesting.

The quickest and most 80-20 change to fix in these situations is EYE CONTACT. I need to train myself and remember to force strong eye contact. I've had a few times in the past when it was a shitty open but I help strong eye contact and it saved the whole thing.

Ok it was not ALL bad. I had an instagram close with a girl who was leaving (this was a comparatively genuine open). Did a spontaneous open to a HOT Ukrainian girl who was waiting for her bf (I was getting out of a shop and locked eyes while passing by, she was browsing an aisle. Immediately circled back and approached). The spontaneous approach definitely has the realness/genuineness. Also, Ukrainians mostly are super-feminine and give good responses.

On the way back in the train, I went over some of my journal entries, collected myself, and did one approaches in the station back in my city. Had better reception but she wasn't single. I also got some IOI's from a few girls but they were two quick to disappear.

What I mean when I say better receptions: even if they are not single, they don't leave and they're happy to keep talking. With the instant blowouts, I think they can sense my anxiety and/or neediness from the get go and it icks them or makes them uncomfortable.

Thoughts and takeaways​

• FORCE your eye contact to be good even on the off days
• Keep your chill. Stop everything and chill out if you know you're becoming anxious/needy/outcome-dependent
• Have a gameplan/structure, like @Karea Ricardus D. always says.
  • Open with something specific about them that's unique to you (as much as you can. If all else fails, fallover to pure-direct)
  • Depending on the vibe of the interaction, do some teases or cold reads (cold reads about what she seems like as a person, or where she is from)
  • Fluff on about wherever she is from, about the culture, or ask open-ended questions
  • Qualify the girl at some point
  • Sprinkle kino as and when possible
• Control the conversation. Control the frame. Don't expect them to take you to a good outcome
• If you make eye contact in a busy store, best to quickly and spontaneously open. In a more calm store with less people, its better to go under the radar and open more smoothly. Matches the energy of the environment too I think.

Its amazing that on the good days, a lot of this just falls into place naturally. Getting them right on the off days is the challenge.

 

[DarkJedi]

Man its been more than a month since I wrote something here. I remember partially writing a draft one day but didn't finish it. Anyway, its not like I've taken a break from gaming completely, but I've just been very occupied, mostly in my head, with stuff. I'll write about some of that here:

Oneitis​

I've got a strong case of oneitis from a girl I've met last year. Detailed in this thread Oneitis, neediness, feeling out of control, being "one-down"

• I'm fine but the girl is at the back of my mind a lot
• I've realized a lot of it is because of my attachment system being triggered (anxiety side of my FA)
• The neediness makes me go soft on her. I'm showing less of my sexy fun self and more of the sweet side. I've kind of handed her the frame, and at the same time overthinking on her actions ("does this text mean she's still into me?" etc). Instead of being the dominant, sexy guy who makes her want him and leads her. This is something to remember in general: I should be fine with showing interest in a masculine way and expect good results, and be ok with a rejection. Be chill. Hypervigilance towards what she's showing is feminine and is stifling me. I'm reacting to her, letting her keep the frame.
• I'm being friendly, funny and happy, but not dominant or sexual.
• And also, this is making me soft in my other interactions with women as well, which is fucked up. Fighting back on that. Need to get that dominant masculine edge back. I'm also less driven to be fully committed to closing

Gaming​

I've been gaming and approaching on and off, not with as much regularity as before though. I've put my results in the April Snatch Tournament
Things I've noticed:

• I seem to be stuck in a plateau
• Getting numbers are fine, getting a date is still the hardest part
• My frame/mindset is weaker. I did an instant date the other day, and even though we had a fun conversation, teasing her, etc, I was subtly seeking approval. I'm being gun-shy, being risk-averse.
• I'm missing a dominant and/or sexual vibe. My calmness is still there, so getting the girls comfortable is fine
• Without the dominance mindset, leading is hard. Dominance gives me "permission" to be unapologetic, demand compliance and get away with showing blatant intent verbally and non-verbally
• All interactions that have been successful were where I was feeling that I was "above" the girl. Not equal, above. They need to look upto you.

Perfecting the Vibe​

Girls, especially at the approach, need to feel safe but also attracted. The safety can be provided by being chill, calm and low-stress as I have mentioned in previous posts.

Dominance/masculine vibe gives you the edge to lead things to wherever you want. Gives you permission. To tease, state intent, touch. Unapologetically and with positive results.

Its a mindset that should be grounded in you and cannot be taken away. You should be able to send say a sweet message to a girl you like and still feel dominant and above her. You're the king giving her approval by being sweet. You're above them, you're not equals. Girls are silly and cute.

Dominance also includes a prize mentality. You're screening her, evaluating if she's good enough for you.

To me an easier way to see if you're in the right direction is to think what you're doing is masculine or not.

Sexual vibe is the cherry on top. Dominance is always required, while sexual vibe is best to dial up as the seduction progresses. Some girls who are horny or already into you will welcome sexual vibe from the start.

Sidenote: sexual framing (showing intent) can consist of sexual vibe (non-verbal, SECT) but also kino, verbal innuendos, 2nd gen sex talk, direct SOI's. Doing any of these require you to be in dominant headspace.

The Anti-vibe: You know you're fucking up when you're being the happy friendly person, minus any intent. You'll feel it when you feel your own resistance to escalate.

To Do​

• Get your mojo back! Take life by the balls. You got this
• Stop being so risk-averse. Try new things instead of doing only the known stuff. You lose by not trying. You'll also learn faster by failing
• Interactions should be dominant without losing warmth. You're the prize
• You need to do more sexual framing. Till your non-verbals get on point, use kino
• Pay more attention to frame and hold your frame
• Play for results. Getting numbers is not a result. Getting her on a date is the minimum you should aim for

 

[DarkJedi]

Gonna go out tonight with a bunch of guys. Trying some nightgame! I've read too much of GC past 2 days lol. Info overload.

Things I will focus on tonight:

• Assume attraction and familiarity
• Strong EC
• Dominance/masculine vibe
• Non-chalance (devil may care) and calmness
• Entitlement/prize mentality
• Touching fast

Let's not make it too complicated. Its about having fun and is an experiment.

One good post I reread today: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/stickied-esp-model-of-sexual-escalation.792/

 

[DarkJedi]

Still not in the right headspace these past few weeks. Gaming sporadically with not good results. Bad fundamentals, low energy, not present.

Feeling low and more negative thoughts. Been meditating and journaling more. The oneitis chick still bothers my thoughts sometimes. Need to get laid soon, but cannot be attached to outcome.

I'm traveling to a different country for a few days. Feel lighter.

I realize I need to simplify my game for now.
Focus on fundamentals/state:

• Low stress, calm. Relaxed BL, relaxed facial expressions and EC
• Slow movements
• Dominance, with warmth
• Experimental mindset. Don't need a specific result, but focus on moving things forward

In terms of tech:

• Compliance

Also need to cut out the ruminating thoughts.

Dominance, Compliance, Sexualization​

Realized something: being sexual and getting her to comply is in itself dominant. That's why you have sexual but feminine guys who can clean up.

The dominance comes from getting her to comply to your sexual frame

Teasing and getting her to comply/submit also does the same.

Of course, you have to do it with a stronger/more dominant frame than her to get her to comply. You're "above" her.

 

[Higher]

Bad fundamentals, low energy, not present.

Man, sounds like me.

This thing hits me like 2-3 times per year. Worst thing for me: im not really playful - im sure my face says "fuck off".

I'm traveling to a different country for a few days. Feel lighter.

Traveling for sure helps a bit. So do for me taking breaks from game, doing sport, and remote working from a social place (café, bar, etc).

 

[DarkJedi]

This thing hits me like 2-3 times per year. Worst thing for me: im not really playful - im sure my face says "fuck off".

Yeah same here lol. For me its "fuck off" or that I'm lost in my thoughts.

Traveling for sure helps a bit. So do for me taking breaks from game, doing sport, and remote working from a social place (café, bar, etc).

Been thinking of taking a bit of pause from game. Just go to meetups and socialize instead.

 

[DarkJedi]

Been a while! I have been pretty busy, work and social life. Gaming in between sometimes. I'll write down some highlights of the last weeks

Trip to London​

Visited London for a few days. Was not focused on game since I wanted to check out the city (first time there), but am never opposed to a few approaches.

London is a fun city, with great culture and nightlife. Checked some live music and museums. People do seem to be way more in a rush and on edge though and this comes across if I approach. I approached a few in the big high-traffic areas, both in the day and evening, but mostly got rejections. Not even a decent conversation. They're all polite though, but seem like they've been approached a million times and its no big deal. I did get a number off a situational open on my last day, and also an insta close with an artsy photographer chick. My logistics were shit to even think of doing anything with them.

Botched SDL
I had a chance for an SDL though, botched it up. I was in a walking tour, and hit it off with a girl in the group. Was pretty smooth. I had stood beside her when I came in, completely ignoring her. Made my presence known by talking to the leader of the walking tour (good dominant vocal tonality etc.), while we were asked to introduce ourselves. When we started walking, I just casually started talking to her with full assumed familiarity. She was very receptive.

We talked during the whole tour, effectively being like a couple in the tour. Sometimes taking pictures for each other. Very chill conversation with the occasional banter. I'd be careful also to not be clingy, going off by myself sometimes and smoothly getting back talking. I'm hoping I did that well and not too much. Anyway, later on, I could feel myself getting into sexual state: I started imagining having sex with her, and I think she felt it too. I had been touching her here and there, and from then on the touches were slightly more dominant/intimate: guiding her by her waist, touching her hair, etc.

Towards the end, she hinted: "what are you doing later?" and I said "I'll go chill for now, but we should grab drinks later" and she agreed -> this is where I should have just offered to get a drink directly after. I was thinking it was daytime and not so seductive, also that I had wanted to take a rest -> I think I'm just self-sabotaging at this point!

She even gave another hint before leaving: "I'm not sure what I'll do in between, my hotel is far away. Maybe just walk around. Anyway, not your problem, I'll figure something out". FUCK! Its not like I wasn't getting the hints then, I just didn't act on them!!

Trying to plan a "smooth" seduction, making sure I don't show overt interest. Of course later on when I texted she said that she had forgot she already had plans with a friend. Right!

Work Trip​

Had a work trip right after. Was good getting to know the colleagues from the other location. Vibe of people so different in different countries, it still amazes me. Same company, just a different country. Also, the girls in this city are so gorgeous. I could feel them calling to me lol. I was too wrapped up with work and work drinks etc. though.

Daygaming​

Not very active daygaming. I have been doing approaches sporadically. Targeted ones. Wrote an FR. Also got a number quickly from a girl and went on a date 2 days later. Got super bored in the date (she had super low energy) and bailed. Another girl was texting but being cagey about meeting up. We'll see if I can get her out. For now not texting her.

Overall, I'm still in low momentum. Negative thoughts easily take over in my head. I'm not in state. I really wish to get out of this funk.

Also, I realized I had been binging on GC articles a lot. Too much theory in my head. In a way, I was substituting taking action with reading more pickup material. Going to stop that.