Why Does Every Girl Reject Me Instantly When I Approach?

[SexNotValidation]

I really cannot understand why this keeps happening to me.

I have a massive problem with approach anxiety.

Most nights that i go out I'm unable to approach even girls giving me clear approach invitations.

However, sometimes I'm able to approach a girl giving me a clear approach invitation and when I do the girl almost always rejects me instantly.

A girl will be staring at me or she will come and just place herself directly in front of me or besides me...
just clear approach invitations and then I will go in and most times they just instantly reject me.

My opener is usually something like " Hi i saw you, you're very attractive, whats your name" ...something like that

I dont get it, if a girl who is giving me no sign of interest instantly rejects me then i understand
but why do i get instantly rejected by girls giving me blatant signs of interest.

here's an example that just happened tonight:

I'm in the washroom drying my hands, the way the washrooms are in this club, its open
and the girls bathroom is right besides and they can see you as you dry your hands.

As I'm drying my hands, this attractive brunette is walking towards me and she just stares at me the whole way,
she is holding eye contact for like 5 sec and only breaks it when she enters the girls bathroom...

She had a sexy but nerdy look that i like, hot but with glasses....to me it was clear that she liked me so i decide to wait near the washroom for her to come out

Maybe that was a bad move but i was thinking that her level of interest was so high that any points i would lose by waiting near the washrooms would not be a big deal

Anyways, 8-15 min later she comes out of the washrooms and i walk directly up to her face to face and I dont really remember what i said...something like "i saw you when you went in, you're very attractive i was waiting for you"....something like that...she doesnt say anything and just keeps walking...she never really stopped walking.....so i grab her hand and (lightly) try to pull her towards me as I say something like "come talk to me"....she resists and tries to say something but she's like stuttering almost like she is speechless, i let go of her hand and she walks away.

Things like this have have happened to me many times

Girls will display blatant interest and i go in and right away they just reject me instantly

Why do you guys think this keeps happening to me?

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

I forgot to mention that i ALWAYS touch them on the open.

I come from the GLL school of pickup of heavy touching so I always touch them on the open
and i think that combined with being super nervous is killing me.

do you guys agree that a big thing i need to stop doing is touching them on the open?

also, I'm black and live in a very white place so the vast majority of these girls are white

does this matter in any way? could it explain what is going on here?

 

[Sub-Zero]

How long do you usually wait until you approach these girls?

If you don’t approach soon enough after a girl gives you signs she might lose interest quickly.

And I wouldn’t have waited until the girl came out the bathroom to approach her, I think it would have been better to go somewhere else and “appear” near her later on then open.

Good job on approaching.

 

[naturalmikey]

If a girl is staring at me like that sometimes I’ll look over my shoulders in both directions then point at my face and be like “me?”

Another one is “do I have something on my face?”

You can always say “you can’t look at me like that and not say hello”

Make it fun

 

[naturalmikey]

Btw that’s a horrible opener. It’s way to direct. Tell her she looks interesting or cute. Very atttractive is awful. Sometimes I’ll tell chicks I think they’re beautiful but only if I really believe it and I’m compelled to do it.

 

[Jesse]

Girls want to feel sexy and validated, so they'll try to make eye contact with a cute guy and get eye contact back from him. She gets eye contact back, that's proof to her that she's still got it. She's now waiting to see what your next move will be.

When you go up and say "you're very attractive", now she's gotten everything she wants from you, you've ruined the game, and its generally over. Instead, you need to keep her guessing a little, playing a mystery game, thinking, "What does this guy really think of me?"

Girls love, love, LOVE to chase a guy. Give the girl the gift of chasing you. Don't open with such a direct compliment.

 

[Tony D]

Well, you're super nervous and that's not the best first impression. Your opener sucks because it's the same thing every guy is doing. Direct night game is best reserved for girls who are giving you huge green lights, like smiling and licking their lips at you. Even then, I never compliment women at night until my tongue is in their mouth. Save direct game for daytime, and work on your indirect approaches.

Also, have patience. My first three months I got nothing but rejections in bars and clubs. It's normal until you are more experienced.

 

[TheHustler]

If you are consistently getting rejected after a so called AI than it wasn't a AI. The context matters. Unless your delivery of your opener was very poor (bad outer game).

Check for body language cues better before approaching.

Good for you for taking action!!

 

[SexNotValidation]

If you are consistently getting rejected after a so called AI than it wasn't a AI. The context of whats happening matters. Unless your delivery of your opener was very poor (bad outer game).

When you are checking for Approach Invitations it's best to get 2 or more signals of interest.

did you even read the OP?

you do not consider a girl staring at you in a nightclub to be a clear approach invitation?

 

[TheHustler]

Read my post again ok. Thats my advice take it or leave it.

 

[SexNotValidation]

Read my post again ok. Thats my advice take it or leave it.

lol you edit the post and try to act like it wasn't nonsensical before the edit.

 

[TheHustler]

I just edited to say "Good for you for taking action". I won't bother next time.

 

[SexNotValidation]

I just edited to say "Good for you for taking action".

lol no you did not

 

[TheHustler]

Fine it was nonsensical lol wtf!

 

[SexNotValidation]

Fine it was nonsensical lol wtf!

yes it was.

the blind leading the blind is a major problem in forums like this one.

 

[TheHustler]

Gotcha I won't give you advice again ok.

 

[Toby2030]

Define which kind of rejections you get, and it will make it easier to give good advice. Does she answer you and the conversation dies down? Does she ignore you completely? What happens? Opening is in a lot of ways a techincal skill you just need to learn.

 

[Glow]

In general i dont take Ais for much - i just see them, take note and engage women in more low key manners. Or what fits their vibe/the situation. i can choose to use ais or their equivalents, sync ups, overextensions and the likes. Or just a sexual haze if shes ready for it. But i dont expect much from these off the bat. and i wanna screen the girl out beyond ass and tits. But thats advanced level when you choose girls more.

For you - from "her look at you" - dont assume anything. Just take note, be a cool cat. Yeah shes looking. noted. You assume a stare gives you access to assume anything. It doesnt and your actions become clumsy. Shes still a stranger until youve changed the mode of connection. She might be nervous. She might be agitated. She might be shy. She might be feisty. She might be intriqued. she might be turned on. But most will get protective from your type of engagement and is presumeably even more protective in a club which pushes girls to be so. Even if she is interested she will often draw back. So just note and dont make much of it as the initial rule.

Where you are i would say that your best initial doing is to initiate by engaging with low-key (see below) or standard pu engaging manners of various forms to get with the program. move in. open. Then grow the interaction steadily eg shift to being curious/fun - chat her up and disarm her. make her relax and have fun/interestingness.
I would go lowkey, or "with punch" if i felt like it and sensed her energy was on the feisty side. But thats me. display a receptiveness, a politeness even, some badassness maybe. Sensually if shes there.

Eg. the girl you mention from the wash room you could do something alike the following:

• note her looking at you
• see where she goes eg the bar - wait for a good opportunity or move in and proactively create it eg with mingling or adjacent sets or any way.
• materialise next to her still assuming nothing (this is called a hover)
• chat her up sideways, lowkey and relaxed - "hey, how is your night going"? (you could use mysterys over the shoulder opener eg.)
• if it was a true ai she will mostly respond well to your openings like this.
• use her response to add tech eg mini-cold reads, dramatify her response or whatever, cold read her, emotionally stimulate
• ask smarter questions that elicit better responses
• or spit game or whatever
• from there you seduce

Wont happen by one attempt. think chase wrote a good post for newbies you should read a few times.

Later you can start using the space, pre game, forcing iois etc. Or actually using the ai related connection seducer style. But thats another league.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Seems like OPs issue is vibe, the nervous vibe transfers and projects onto the girls, and then they feel nervous too.

 

[Rain]

I thought Hector said in a video he uses direct openers even for night game. Is this one of those things that has many "correct answers"?

 

[JacobPalmer]

Yes most likely your vibe and the way you present yourself is the issue. A few things to note here based on your post.

The opener was....ok at best. Not very unique, but the thing that struck me was that you told her you were "waiting for her to come out of the washroom." For lack of a better term, that's super creepy. So, don't tell girls that, and if she tries to walk away, don't grab her hand. She probably thought you were creepy and possibly dangerous at that point (unfortunately).

A better opener, would be to find her out in the actual bar again, not right outside the bathroom, and say something like,

"You know what's pretty interesting about you?"
9/10 times she'll need to know. And you can respond with something unique about her. e.g. "The way you carry yourself. It's like you're super confident but also kindof shy."

And then you're in convo.