Why Does Every Girl Reject Me Instantly When I Approach?

[SexNotValidation]

Define which kind of rejections you get, and it will make it easier to give good advice. Does she answer you and the conversation dies down? Does she ignore you completely? What happens? Opening is in a lot of ways a techincal skill you just need to learn.

As i said in the OP and in the title of this thread; they reject me instantly.

This is NOT a situation where i go in and things fizzle out after a few min because i run out of things to say or anything like that.

They react from the start like they dont want to interact with me; most of my interactions after receiving a clear invitation (girl staring and/or positioning herself unnecessarily/unusually close to me)....most of my interactions after a signal like that end in less then 1 min.

 

[SexNotValidation]

In general i dont take Ais for much - i just see them, take note and engage women in more low key manners. Or what fits their vibe/the situation. i can choose to use ais or their equivalents, sync ups, overextensions and the likes. Or just a sexual haze if shes ready for it. But i dont expect much from these off the bat. and i wanna screen the girl out beyond ass and tits. But thats advanced level when you choose girls more.

For you - from "her look at you" - dont assume anything. Just take note, be a cool cat. Yeah shes looking. noted. You assume a stare gives you access to assume anything. It doesnt and your actions become clumsy. Shes still a stranger until youve changed the mode of connection. She might be nervous. She might be agitated. She might be shy. She might be feisty. She might be intriqued. she might be turned on. But most will get protective from your type of engagement and is presumeably even more protective in a club which pushes girls to be so. Even if she is interested she will often draw back. So just note and dont make much of it as the initial rule.

Where you are i would say that your best initial doing is to initiate by engaging with low-key (see below) or standard pu engaging manners of various forms to get with the program. move in. open. Then grow the interaction steadily eg shift to being curious/fun - chat her up and disarm her. make her relax and have fun/interestingness.
I would go lowkey, or "with punch" if i felt like it and sensed her energy was on the feisty side. But thats me. display a receptiveness, a politeness even, some badassness maybe. Sensually if shes there.

Eg. the girl you mention from the wash room you could do something alike the following:

• note her looking at you
• see where she goes eg the bar - wait for a good opportunity or move in and proactively create it eg with mingling or adjacent sets or any way.
• materialise next to her still assuming nothing (this is called a hover)
• chat her up sideways, lowkey and relaxed - "hey, how is your night going"? (you could use mysterys over the shoulder opener eg.)
• if it was a true ai she will mostly respond well to your openings like this.
• use her response to add tech eg mini-cold reads, dramatify her response or whatever, cold read her, emotionally stimulate
• ask smarter questions that elicit better responses
• or spit game or whatever
• from there you seduce

Wont happen by one attempt. think chase wrote a good post for newbies you should read a few times.

Later you can start using the space, pre game, forcing iois etc. Or actually using the ai related connection seducer style. But thats another league.

first, thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed post.

sexual haze if shes ready for it.

what is a sexual haze?

can you please explain in details?

are you talking about the concept ijjj used to talk about?


i wanna screen the girl out beyond ass and tits. But thats advanced level when you choose girls more.

yeah I'm definitely NOT at that level.

I would be blissfully happy if i could just fuck 1 in 10 of the girls who give me AIs in clubs.

For you - from "her look at you" - dont assume anything. Just take note, be a cool cat. Yeah shes looking. noted. You assume a stare gives you access to assume anything.

The only thing I assumed is she would at least be willing to talk to me.

was i wrong to assume even that?

 

[SexNotValidation]

Seems like OPs issue is vibe, the nervous vibe transfers and projects onto the girls, and then they feel nervous too.

yes this is my theory.

I'm definatelly super nervous and i think that transfers to them.

 

[SexNotValidation]

I forgot to mention that i ALWAYS touch them on the open.

I come from the GLL school of pickup of heavy touching so I always touch them on the open
and i think that combined with being super nervous is killing me.

do you guys agree that a big thing i need to stop doing is touching them on the open?

also, I'm black and live in a very white place so the vast majority of these girls are white

does this matter in any way? could it explain what is going on here?

 

[Grand Pooba]

yes this is my theory.

I'm definatelly super nervous and i think that transfers to them.

You would be correct - vibe transfers to girls easily. The solution is to stop putting so much pressure on yourself for the approach - instead of it thinking like it's a competition, you have to train yourself to view it as fun and meaningless. "I'm going to go approach this girl and it's going to be so much fun, and I don't care what happens, if anything - I'm just going to put myself out there and have a good time with her while she's giving me the time of day."

Once you get into this habit you'll notice a big shift in your approaches, a girl's responses, as well as how excited you are to meet women as well.

Also try playing around with indirect openers and conversations too. Direct is a good strategy but can have the affect of adding more pressure into the situation.

 

[SexNotValidation]

You would be correct - vibe transfers to girls easily. The solution is to stop putting so much pressure on yourself for the approach - instead of it thinking like it's a competition, you have to train yourself to view it as fun and meaningless. "I'm going to go approach this girl and it's going to be so much fun, and I don't care what happens, if anything - I'm just going to put myself out there and have a good time with her while she's giving me the time of day."

Once you get into this habit you'll notice a big shift in your approaches, a girl's responses, as well as how excited you are to meet women as well.

Also try playing around with indirect openers and conversations too. Direct is a good strategy but can have the affect of adding more pressure into the situation.

You would be correct - vibe transfers to girls easily. The solution is to stop putting so much pressure on yourself for the approach - instead of it thinking like it's a competition, you have to train yourself to view it as fun and meaningless. "I'm going to go approach this girl and it's going to be so much fun, and I don't care what happens, if anything - I'm just going to put myself out there and have a good time with her while she's giving me the time of day."

I definitely do NOT view it as a competition.

That's not how i think of seduction at all.

I'm not competing with anyone

I just want sex.

I'm purely in this for sexual pleasure

So my thoughts are more like imagining her on her knees sucking my dick or me pulling her hair as i fuck her doggystyle

And not sure what you mean by view it as "meaningless"

what does that mean?

I just want to fuck her; i do not think about it beyond that so not sure where meaning or no meaning fits in.

Once you get into this habit you'll notice a big shift in your approaches, a girl's responses, as well as how excited you are to meet women as well.

Also try playing around with indirect openers and conversations too.

you think it makes sense to open a girl staring at you or hovering near you indirectly?

what is a good indirect opener for a girl you catch just staring at you in the club?

what is a good indirect opener for a girl who is hovering near you in the club?

Direct is a good strategy but can have the affect of adding more pressure into the situation.

I've never really tried indirect inside the club

but I've tried it with daygame and night street game and you are 100% correct for those venues

indirect gives me way less anxiety in those venues.

and i mean way way way less anxiety;

like anxiety for indirect is probably 10x less maybe even 100x less in day game and night street game compared to direct

 

[Toby2030]

The less compliance you ask for when opening, the more likely you will open and hook. And yes, try stopping yourself from touching them from the start. If you need their attention from behind, you with tap her with an arms-length on her shoulder - take a step back - and let her turn around. Otherwise, try to keep touching out of the picture for now.

There's a lot of things that can be wrong but ask yourself this:
Are you projecting calm into her through your eyes? And do you speak slow and not too quick? Are you rushing your opener?
Are you holding strong eye contact?
Are you using your face and eyes to raise the energy?
Are you loose, calm and smooth in your body language and voice?
Have you allowed her to read your face before you open?
Are you offering her value or are you in an asking frame? Are you making her night better by talking to you?
Are you commanding attention with your voice/are you loud enough?
Are you matching their energy or opening with higher energy than her and her group?
Are you putting too much pressure on the girl? Are you leaning in when opening?
Are you communicating emotionally instead of logical? Are you taking yourself too seriously or others?
Are you a bit cocky?
Are you coming from a collaborative mindset instead of a competitive mindset?
Are you talking AT HER or with her as a human being? (this one is big)

Furthermore, get your looks and style on point. It gives you an advantage when you open.

 

[Grand Pooba]

you think it makes sense to open a girl staring at you or hovering near you indirectly?

Yes this is a IOI from a girl, lol. You should absolutely approach. She wants you to approach her, and if you wait more than 5-10 seconds to go do it, she's going to think you're chicken or disinterested, and she'll autoreject.

what is a good indirect opener for a girl you catch just staring at you in the club?

Use something situational. If she's holding a drink, tell her that looks like an interesting drink and ask her what it is. You can also comment on an article of clothing she's wearing, but don't be super direct - more like "that's a really interesting piece, I couldn't help but notice..." and start a conversation.

For a two set one of my favorite night game go to's is "you two look absolutely adorable together - I kind of have a collective crush."

what is a good indirect opener for a girl who is hovering near you in the club?

Same thing, go situational. Something even simpler would be "How's you're night so far?"

I've never really tried indirect inside the club

but I've tried it with daygame and night street game and you are 100% correct for those venues

indirect gives me way less anxiety in those venues.

and i mean way way way less anxiety;

like anxiety for indirect is probably 10x less maybe even 100x less in day game and night street game compared to direct

If you're doing this, you'll have to make up for it later with premise and showing intent. Premise can be shown through teasing, framing, chase framing, and qualifying/disqualifying.

I definitely do NOT view it as a competition.

That's not how i think of seduction at all.

I'm not competing with anyone

I just want sex.

I'm purely in this for sexual pleasure

This is great! So if it's just for sexual pleasure, what makes you nervous? Does having fun make you nervous?
You have to literally imagine that you're talking to a girl because it's like drinking water - it's pure joy and enjoyment.

So my thoughts are more like imagining her on her knees sucking my dick or me pulling her hair as i fuck her doggystyle

And not sure what you mean by view it as "meaningless"

what does that mean?

I just want to fuck her; i do not think about it beyond that so not sure where meaning or no meaning fits in

Something is making you nervous, so I'm trying to understand where that comes from. If you're feeling a certain emotion, there's got to be a reason why - it didn't just happen by accident, lol.

 

[Tony D]

I thought Hector said in a video he uses direct openers even for night game. Is this one of those things that has many "correct answers"?

Maybe he did. Different styles work for different people. Personally, going direct at night hasn't been very fruitful for me. Mostly I just get "Thank you!" So it gets sort of boring for me. Most women are so used to being complimented that it doesn't have a very strong effect. If you find a girl who finds you physically attractive at first sight, or see's you as very high value, then a direct compliment is perfect. But most of the time you'll hit her auto rejection if you just validate them on their looks. That's my experience anyway.

 

[TheHustler]

Well if I were a girl I wouldn't fuck you. For very obviuous reasons. Here's why. You pretend to know it all and then ask a question about the same thing you pretend to already know. In your original post you said you had a clear AI. Then you asked pooba if it was a AI.

In fact you so strongly knew when you attacked me for telling you you thought that you saw a AI when she couldve been giving someone else one that you called me out for being a KJ.

You try to act like the strong type but you come across as unconfident mentally weak, posturer. Girls see this a mile away.

If you were really the strong confident type you wouldn't pretend to know anything you would know. (you woudn't have started this thread at all) and if you didn't know you would admit you did not know instead of acting like a weak bitch. Fake confidence. Very try hard.

(Work on your inner game and stop crying over spilled milk. Pussy can sniff out insecurity a mile away)

(this is not advice just a slap in your ugly face)

 

[SexNotValidation]

Well if I were a girl I wouldn't fuck you. For very obviuous reasons. Here's why. You pretend to know it all and then ask a question about the same thing you pretend to already know. In your original post you said you had a clear AI. Then you asked pooba if it was a AI.

In fact you so strongly knew when you attacked me for telling you you thought that you saw a AI when she couldve been giving someone else one that you called me out for being a KJ.

You try to act like the strong type but you come across as unconfident mentally weak, posturer. Girls see this a mile away.

If you were really the strong confident type you wouldn't pretend to know anything you would know. (you woudn't have started this thread at all) and if you didn't know you would admit you did not know instead of acting like a weak bitch. Fake confidence. Very try hard.

(Work on your inner game and stop crying over spilled milk. Pussy can sniff out insecurity a mile away)

(this is not advice just a slap in your ugly face)

 

[TheHustler]

I don't argue with little girls it's beneath me.

 

[SexNotValidation]

I don't argue with little girls it's beneath me.

 

[TheHustler]

I don't argue with little girls its beneath me.

 

[SexNotValidation]

I don't argue with little girls its beneath me.

 

[naturalmikey]

if you're getting really strong direct eye contact just assume she likes you. if you were chris hemsworth and some girl was staring at you would you be nervous? no. so then why would you be as you? it doesn't necessarily mean she likes you. but the chances are a hell of a lot better that she does than had she just not noticed you. regardless, you're gonna have to get good at cold approach before you get good at warm approach. but if you are getting that strong of iois create a tinder. tinder dates are a great way to gain experience. just don't go in winging it, practice game concepts and work on your fundamentals on tinder dates. this is a great way to accelerate your learning. i got really good at emotional spiking this way. i used to love making girls cry on tinder dates then flipping it around and fucking them that night.

look if girls are staring at you you're good looking. good looking guys do well on tinder. the problem is women expect more from good looking guys. so shitty game will fuck you up. get all your ducks in a row.

 

[Chase]

On the flame war here between SNV and TheHustler -- take it down a notch guys.

TheHustler, I'm unsure how you intended the "wait for two AIs" bit you edited out of the earlier post. Could be true in some cases, but needs context: "If you're trying to stick to low approach numbers and only approach very high odds girls, look for two approach invitations before you approach" would work. (generally with approaching you want to avoid any kind of analysis paralysis, especially for nervous guys -- "When you see even one AI, go talk to her" and "Even if you don't see an AI, if you're out to do a few approaches, get warm-ups, and build momentum, just go up, say hi, be social, and see what happens" is going to be better advice for the guy)

You're the more senior member here, so I'd hope in a dust-up you'd be able to step back, say "All right, here's two sentences to clarify, and I'll say no more" and leave it at that. Getting into a back-and-forth with a Rank 1 member where you are complaining about him calling you a keyboard jockey, coming back on with even tougher love after he's rejected your help and is already listening to other, more senior members, and telling him he's a little girl is suboptimal.

Let's keep it civil here, folks.

The great thing about the Boards is being able to chat with each other about picking up girls and dating and shagging pretty new girls and having relationships and socializing and not having to worry about anyone coming on here and slinging negativity.

Let's keep it positive and helpful please.

If you see a guy doing something wrong, point it out, make it clear why you think it's wrong, and if he doesn't want your advice, leave it alone.

If he's being a nuisance, report the post he's being a nuisance in or PM a mod.

Please don't kick off flame wars. They're bummers for everyone.

Chase

 

[Glow]

@SexNotValidation
Youre in a strong thrust forward. To solve a struggle. Taking action.
good.

But

Youre going in multiple directions in a surface-level manner, which indicates to me youre all mind and making way to many fast conclusions.
This will never get you to a place of real weight. In seduction as in other fields.
+ theres a relentlessness to your doing as @Chase notes too together with a positive good side of taking action and listening.

My advice to you is to SLOW DOWN, potentially STOP fully, and come full circle on the things you engage with. the dark energy of your search for excellence blocks you from adapting these things in your system.

So slow down or STOP fully and most importantly - feel into your motivations behind it. spend some time there. find a better pace and better motivations. Please note Im inviting you in here.

I noted that Gun gave you a focus on feeling the sexual arousal your feel w. girls. Let that fuel things. If you dig deeper into this, do the research etc you can learn powerful things. PU will be a slow discovery of this and things around them. not step by step follow instructions from us. The strong principles dont come easy.

so instead of asking into things like you do ... take what you get and explore it more. do it in field. describe your experience. start learning yourself and develop your capacity for learning. And share it. Be self-responsible. Half of becoming a good seducer is developing character.

Been where you are where cody wrote to me like i do to you. turned things around for me immensely. Which is why i can say this quite clearly.

See if theres some truth in what u write to you. let is sink in over some days.

 

[SexNotValidation]

Yes this is a IOI from a girl, lol. You should absolutely approach. She wants you to approach her, and if you wait more than 5-10 seconds to go do it, she's going to think you're chicken or disinterested, and she'll autoreject.



Use something situational. If she's holding a drink, tell her that looks like an interesting drink and ask her what it is. You can also comment on an article of clothing she's wearing, but don't be super direct - more like "that's a really interesting piece, I couldn't help but notice..." and start a conversation.

For a two set one of my favorite night game go to's is "you two look absolutely adorable together - I kind of have a collective crush."



Same thing, go situational. Something even simpler would be "How's you're night so far?"



If you're doing this, you'll have to make up for it later with premise and showing intent. Premise can be shown through teasing, framing, chase framing, and qualifying/disqualifying.



This is great! So if it's just for sexual pleasure, what makes you nervous? Does having fun make you nervous?
You have to literally imagine that you're talking to a girl because it's like drinking water - it's pure joy and enjoyment.




Something is making you nervous, so I'm trying to understand where that comes from. If you're feeling a certain emotion, there's got to be a reason why - it didn't just happen by accident, lol.

Use something situational. If she's holding a drink, tell her that looks like an interesting drink and ask her what it is.

If a girl stares at you in a nightclub, does that not mean she is DTF?

I understand that situational opener makes sense if she is hovering

but i always thought prolonged eye contact was the strongest ioi in clubs
and was a way for a girl to basically say "i want to fuck you tonight".

I never even considered using a situational opener when a girl stares at me since I assumed it would be a step backwards.

am i severely over estimating how DTF a girl who stares at me in a club is?

For a two set one of my favorite night game go to's is "you two look absolutely adorable together - I kind of have a collective crush."

the (very) few times I've approached 2 sets I usually just ignored the other girl 100% and just talked to the girl i liked, is that a good approach for 2 sets?

also, I do not think the word "adorable" would work for me.

I purposely carry myself in clubs with a demeanor of extreme aloofness and arrogance
since I've found that vibe gets me the most attention from girls

do you think that opener would still work even though the vibe that attracted them to me does not really match?

So if it's just for sexual pleasure, what makes you nervous?

great question.

i think its 2 things:

#1:

first, I fear rejection because i get rejected even in situation where it makes no sense like for example the point of this thread.

So I'm super nervous approaching even girls staring at me or hovering near me because several times in the past when I've approached in these situation I've been rejected instantly.

#2:

I'm scared other people will see me get rejected instantly.

Every time a girl hovers near me in the club or stares at me, I usually do not go in because I'm worried i will go in and get rejected instantly and the people around me will see this.

I've noticed that whenever i have an opportunity to approach like a girl hovering near me, my mind does not usually think of the girl I want to approach, my mind usually starts to think of the people near me who will see the approach.

And I'm talking about girls who are alone here, I pretty much never approach girls unless they are alone.

I guess the anxiety is so strong when the girl is with other people that my mind has blocked that from even being a possibility.

All these girls who reject me instantly that I'm talking about in this thread are girls who where alone in the club when it happened.

Does having fun make you nervous?

I'm not sure what you are asking me here.

can you please clarify?

I never try to have fun in the club.

Like i said, my vibe is extremely aloof, arrogant and bored, basically like I'm better then everyone

I experimented with many vibes in the past including a "happy and chill vibe" and the "I'm better then everyone in here" vibe
gets me the most attention and from the highest quality of girls so its become my default demeanor i switch into
as soon as i step foot in a nightclub.

Something is making you nervous, so I'm trying to understand where that comes from. If you're feeling a certain emotion, there's got to be a reason why - it didn't just happen by accident, lol.

yeah i understand what you mean.

But i guess if i knew the answer to this question i would not even be on this forum.

My best guess at this time is this:

When i started actively trying to seduce women I was running the RSD spam approach style where you approach random girls by touching them and using openers like "YOU!, who the fuck are you?"

Believe it or not , i was so stupid back then that i even did stuff like this during the day because remember RSD had the saying "the sun is out, do the same thing" which meant no difference between day and night

so doing this retarded style got me a lot of instant rejections at the start of my seduction career

This now created massive anxiety because i have this constant fear that i will always get instantly rejected when i go in

and the only thing worst then getting rejected instantly when you go in is other people seeing you get rejected instantly when you go in

That's my theory as to what is going on in my mind and why im so anxious

btw, thank you for spending time trying to help me.

 

[SexNotValidation]

Maybe he did. Different styles work for different people. Personally, going direct at night hasn't been very fruitful for me. Mostly I just get "Thank you!" So it gets sort of boring for me. Most women are so used to being complimented that it doesn't have a very strong effect. If you find a girl who finds you physically attractive at first sight, or see's you as very high value, then a direct compliment is perfect. But most of the time you'll hit her auto rejection if you just validate them on their looks. That's my experience anyway.

If you find a girl who finds you physically attractive at first sight, or see's you as very high value, then a direct compliment is perfect.

huh?

then why are you telling me to "Save direct game for daytime, and work on your indirect approaches. "?

I'm assuming a girl staring at me finds me physically attractive on first sight.

if direct is "perfect" in that situation then why did you tell me not to use direct openers in your first post in this thread?

I'm confused.

can you please clarify?