I find it funny how arguably the easiest part of the mating process to achieve is also the most difficult to master.
Interesting idea - on a scale of pick up skills, imo
- Consistently getting absolute strangers to get into a good conversation with you - 7
- Building Trust with an absolute stranger - 8
- Closing a stranger you only met 3 hours ago - 9
- Creating a relationship with that stranger that you essentially have control over indefinitely - 10 (mono, MLTR, soft polygamy, hard polygamy, ONS, FWBS, FBs, etc)
"Instructor" level game - zero hesitation/great improvisation with the words and situation - is something that comes from doing it a lot, teaching it, and seeing a lot of it at the low level and high level.
Cause a lot of how well opening goes is related to all the prior steps before hand, in addition to executing the opening.
The Prior Steps - Most guys coming into pick up
- Need to step up their hygiene game, grooming game, and lack of muscles
- Don't even know where to meet girls they might want to hook up with/date
- Are not aware of their emotional/self esteem issues
- Have not dealt with their emotional/self esteem issues in a long term way
- Afraid to start conversations with strangers
- Afraid to have deep/tense/conflict conversations with people they know
- Might not raise their hands in class
- Might not return something to a physical store
- Might not return a plate of food
- Unwilling to learn how to dance
- Decry everything popular (except of course for video games/anime/and other forms of nerd culture)
- Don't know conduct themselves in interview (and would not know how to hold an interview)
- Have never sold anything in their lives.
- Can't read faces, body language, can't read social situations. They don't understand tone of voice.
In terms of social skills, what it takes to be the most popular guy in class, at the job, on the team - they lack.
Of course opening is hard.
Opening sits at the top of a mountain of basic and intermediate social skills.
They can actively listen. They can hold a debate about things esoteric. They can be logical and use reason. And that's it. And those skills don't translate
directly to opening to pickup.
I had to learn how to do a lot of these things, because they were not things I did all the time.
The average cute girl that we are after?
- She makes friends wherever she goes.
- She knows her appearance affects her treatment, and will tone some things done and play somethings up
- She has ZERO problems asking for things, asking for total strangers to do things for her.
- She is very aware of micro-reactions, facial expressions, body language, and taking the temperature of a room
- She often talks to her family members and girlfriends about what things mean, and how to maneuver in her social group.
- More than most guys, she knows what she brings to the table. (She often tries to bring other things that guys don't care about though)
- Even if she can't dance, she can dance.
- She will bargain, take things back, send plates back.
- She will offend, insult, slight, mock, and tease - and then act surprised when called on it
- She will persuade, compliment, schmooze - and otherwise run circles around people.
So what a lot of newbs deal with is coming to an algebra test, graded by a PhD in mathematics, when they can barely count.
There are some guys that have all the foundational social skills down - the last pieces of the puzzle is a 1) structured way to talk to girls. 2) The will to do it. Most guys are deathly afraid of showing a girl any sort of sexual interest, much less the world - despite that being the thing they are after.
All that to say is that pick up is not easy. Guys used to have more of the foundational skills because as a species we had to communicate with each other more. So I'm seeing a lot of guys online that need to double down on the basics and intermediates (giving a talk to a group of people is an intermediate skill, whereas talking to a crowd, a hostile one would be an advanced skill)
All this stuff is easy to forget, or easy to catch yourself in some self doubt. You know what to do, you've done it a thousand times, but making those first few approaches can feel like pulling teeth.
But I tend to remember the times that I hesitate more than the times where my game falls flat tbh.
Good topic!
WIA