Y's journal revamped

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
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After 5 months of trying to learn seduction, it hasn't been working out well...

Very little results. When I do get results, they're super inconsistent.

So I am going to just follow the method in Chase's HTMGC ebook as much as possible. That is the only goal of this journal. To document my progress in becoming the man that Chase teaches me to be in HTMGC. What I will do is follow exactly what he says and try as far as possible to become 100% of who the man in the book is.

Who I am and what I have achieved so far:

As of now, I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin. I believe that I started and still am at quite a difficult place to start learning this. I've had some pretty bad experiences with girls throughout my life and this leads to anxiety when I cold approach, and bitterness, and lots of other bad things.

Over the past 5 months, I've got out to approach at least 3 times a week (on average 4-5 times a week) with each outing on average being about 3 hours (all day game). I have failed to get much practise despite these outings not because I don't approach, but because I keep getting blown off.

Over the past 5 months, I started to do TRE, building a social life (I had zero social life), and built quite a fair bit of resilience.

Discipline

If u ask me, I am currently just as confused, if not more confused than when I first started going out to meet girls.

This is why I am now just going to focus on seriously implementing the set of skills in Chase's ebook. One-by-one if I have to. But I will make sure I implement them.

I will take advice from other people, and I will definitely perhaps look briefly at some other content. But for the next 3 months, if not 6 months, I will focus solely on acquiring the skills from Chase's ebook. If there is any advice that I run into that is contrary or slightly different from what Chase writes in his book, I will ignore it.

It will be a long and tough road ahead. I won't worry about how many dates I go on, or whether I have any shots to lose my virginity, or whatever other short-term things that there are.


Hope some of you can learn from my experiences or help to keep me accountable to what I have said here
Y
 
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Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
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233
Have you read this article before? https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-do-when-your-approach-just-isnt-working

What is your assessment after reading it?

Hey EP, yea I just read it recently actually.

My assessment is that out of the list of 8 things that are mentioned in the article, I don't even perform well at any of them. But I believe the main problem is that:
I try to learn from everywhere and have not been diligently and successfully executing the steps/requirements of any established skillset/product at all
Essentially... Mixing and matching methods

This leads to:
1. My vibe being wrong (because it's all over the place, not one clear strong vibe)
2. Not closing (because I have no results at all, even for number closing I can't get to the point in conversation because it gets too awkward/they try to leave etc)

For now, I don't really have problems with:
1. Not approaching
2. Spam approaching
3. Going too extreme (I have no opportunities to practice techniques anyway)

Not too sure about these:
1. Having a clear woman goal
2. Not tailoring myself to the women I want
I suppose I will have to follow up on these when I have the time.
At this current point in time, my thought process is to approach all sorts of women first without getting blown off so that I can get proper practice training a basic foundation of fundamentals/attraction building first. Because so I HAVE NOT been getting the practice because I have been getting blown off so much.
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Messages
233
I'm going to go out today for another 3 hour outing of day game alone. What I have decided is that I'm going to write a field report after today's outing and I'll post the field report on the field reports board and post the link here as well.
The goal for today will be 8 approaches.
The purpose of the field report will be to debug my getting blown off problem.


Advice (directly from HTMGC) that I am going to take into the field:
1. Advice on social momentum:
The simple concept of building social momentum and then maintaining social momentum.

Today, when I am building/maintaining social momentum, I am not going to specifically talk to women unless circumstances are easy to do so.
Before I do my first approach, I will talk to 5 different people.
If I for some reason get particularly negative, I will stop approaching, and go and talk to 2 new people. That's it. Not that hard to fk it up.
After rebuilding social momentum and positivity, I will start approaching again.

Chase does not specifically state but it seems quite evident that in building social momentum he recommends that u build social momentum with new women. I will get to this stage soon enough. For today, it's just going to be talk to sufficient numbers of whoever (guys or girls).


2. Advice on the fundamental of using the law of least effort in conversation:
In general, putting in as little effort as possible.
Ignoring insults and never getting defensive
Expressing ideas concisely and to the point not only with words
Deflecting requests for compliance, using ambiguity and statements like "maybe later"
Learning to make the other person try to get your attention

In general, appearing independent and secure.
At the core, not needing the other person's approval, acceptance, or interest.


All the way until the end of next Sunday, I will go out to work on these skills during Day game. I will see how well I have improved at these and whether the getting blown-off problem still persists.

If I think I have managed to grasp some of these well, I will progress on to a different skill from HTMGC.


Link to field report:

Goal for next outing. To implement social momentum building and maintenance again. Learning to build social momentum more quickly.

Monitor results
 
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terminator92

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Sep 9, 2020
Messages
97
Hey Merchant's Kin,

I have not read Chase's E-book that you talk about, but I had the same problem in the beginning of my journey. I used to devour material from different coaches with different mindsets and philosophies and try to incorporate all of them or try one out for one day and the other the next. It was one of the biggest stumbling blocks in my journey. But I was able to slowly overcome it.

You are taking action consistently, which is great. Maybe you need to stop treating yourself too harshly and take a little bit more of a laid back approach to this, not in terms of the amount of action you are taking but in terms of your mindset which might help you calm down and enjoy the process a bit more. As far as I know, this goal of not getting blown off by women counter-intuitively leads to getting blown out more because we clamp up and come across as if we are tense and in approval seeking mode. Letting go of that need and approaching with a "let's see what happens" mindset might help with this. Just until you overcome this debilitating fear of getting blown out.

I am doing daygame alone too and Chase's 30 day challenge. Check out my journal as well in case that might in anyway help you. I am no expert and I am working on my Game as well. Also PM me if you would want to connect and discuss more. That would be great :)
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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568
I think you're definitely overthinking it. Simplicity is our friend, especially as beginners. Let me ask you this: in your original post, you talk about your effort in terms of time. 'X days a week approaching for Y hours.' Forget about time - how many approaches are you doing in each outing, on average?

Also, it's going to be a problem if your current goal is simply "not to get blown out." Blowing out will happen to the best of them. Are you aware that in one of Hector's videos, he says that he - as an expert - has to approach about 20 girls in order to get 1 lay? That means he's getting blow outs. You could be the sexiest man on the planet, but if you approach a girl that's in a happy relationship and not looking elsewhere at all, well, you're going to get blown out.

In addition, approaching girls with the mindset of 'gee I hope this one doesn't blow me out,' is neediness and seeking validation. You're shooting yourself in the foot by deciding to roll with a weak mindset. Fuck that shit. You're approaching her because you think she's cute and you want to meet her. That's it. Keep it simple. Who fucking cares how she reacts. Many won't be interested. Some will. Doesn't change why you approached, and a man with a real pair of balls doesn't need to hide it.
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
Hey Merchant's Kin,

I have not read Chase's E-book that you talk about, but I had the same problem in the beginning of my journey. I used to devour material from different coaches with different mindsets and philosophies and try to incorporate all of them or try one out for one day and the other the next. It was one of the biggest stumbling blocks in my journey. But I was able to slowly overcome it.

You are taking action consistently, which is great. Maybe you need to stop treating yourself too harshly and take a little bit more of a laid back approach to this, not in terms of the amount of action you are taking but in terms of your mindset which might help you calm down and enjoy the process a bit more. As far as I know, this goal of not getting blown off by women counter-intuitively leads to getting blown out more because we clamp up and come across as if we are tense and in approval seeking mode. Letting go of that need and approaching with a "let's see what happens" mindset might help with this. Just until you overcome this debilitating fear of getting blown out.

I am doing daygame alone too and Chase's 30 day challenge. Check out my journal as well in case that might in anyway help you. I am no expert and I am working on my Game as well. Also PM me if you would want to connect and discuss more. That would be great :)

Hi Terminator92. Thanks for the encouragement. Hope to see documentation of activity from you. Will look at your journal.



Hey @ElderPrice !

If I keep getting blown out, I generally go up to 12-15 times per outing. When I went out yesterday I only approached 6 times but I enjoyed the process a lot more because I spoke to 13 other people to keep the momentum going.

That means he's getting blow outs. You could be the sexiest man on the planet, but if you approach a girl that's in a happy relationship and not looking elsewhere at all, well, you're going to get blown out.

I sort of worry a lot because each interaction with a girl lasts on average 30 seconds or less. This means that I'm not getting any practice whatsoever. The thing I'm concerned about right now is not so much getting dates (of course I want to go on more if I can...) as much as it is about getting practice while while talking to women with intent. Cos if each interaction is 30 seconds or less. I'm really not getting any practice at all I feel.


As far as I know, this goal of not getting blown off by women counter-intuitively leads to getting blown out more because we clamp up and come across as if we are tense and in approval seeking mode. Letting go of that need and approaching with a "let's see what happens" mindset might help with this. Just until you overcome this debilitating fear of getting blown out.

In addition, approaching girls with the mindset of 'gee I hope this one doesn't blow me out,' is neediness and seeking validation. You're shooting yourself in the foot by deciding to roll with a weak mindset. Fuck that shit. You're approaching her because you think she's cute and you want to meet her. That's it. Keep it simple. Who fucking cares how she reacts. Many won't be interested. Some will. Doesn't change why you approached, and a man with a real pair of balls doesn't need to hide it.

This makes sense. It's hard to break out of it if I keep getting blown off though. So my solution to that right now is to keep myself warmed up and positive by talking to people throughout the daygame outing. I'm not sure how helpful it's going to be but will see how it goes next few outings.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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If you can't find a conversation that lasts more than 30 seconds, then you're probably coming across as a weirdo. Stop thinking about it as an exact, literal process, where every step must be followed to a t.

How are you opening all these people? What are your most common examples?
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
you're probably coming across as a weirdo.
Hmm, that's quite fair I suppose.

How are you opening all these people? What are your most common examples?

Even right now, there aren't many common examples, I used to start with very terrible openers that make me sound dumb and show I only care about looks.

But there are common themes for my openers (at least when I feel that I have opened well). Right now, commonly they are:
1. Some very interesting/unique article of clothing and what impression it gives me about her
2. Something about her posture that makes her look confident. Then, I'll in some way say "that is attractive"
3. Something along the lines of "you look good" BUT said with extremely genuine body language/tone of voice/pace of speech (when I really like the girl but can't describe it) (I've seen that they respond well to this)

I've also started to ground the compliments much more and that has made things go better. By this I mean saying something like "Hi, I'm hanging around a bit before my dance class/ I'm trying to find a shop where they've got bracelets/ etc , ... then ... (compliment)"
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Hmm those don't sound unusual. How many times have you opened direct? "Hey I saw you and think you're cute and had to meet you."
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
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Hmm those don't sound unusual. How many times have you opened direct? "Hey I saw you and think you're cute and had to meet you."

By direct do u mean in some way specifically telling the girl I think she's attractive?

What I understand 'direct' to mean is... something something related to:

1. Some very interesting/unique article of clothing and what impression it gives me about her
2. Something about her posture that makes her look confident. Then, I'll in some way say "that is attractive"
3. Something along the lines of "you look good" BUT said with extremely genuine body language/tone of voice/pace of speech (when I really like the girl but can't describe it) (I've seen that they respond well to this)

Where only on occasion am I specifically telling the girl that I find her attractive (even when the girl is attractive sometimes I open with something else that I am quite interested in)

In terms of how often I specifically say something along the lines of "Hey I saw you and think you're cute/attractive/wow/jazz/whatever and had to meet you.", I would say it's 20% of the time or less


I think the problem is not with the openers. Before this 2 weeks of me going out, I believe the problem that I've faced when daygaming in the field has been that I get blown off/the interaction goes badly for the first 3-4 approaches and this leads to my mind being filled with negativity and me losing motivation/interest in the women I'm in proximity with.

Another problem was that I completely did not warm-up by building social momentum before doing approaches. Since I'm locked in my workplace more or less the whole day, I was approaching with a lot of anxiety from lack of social interaction

After starting to take social momentum seriously, this has helped with the negativity and fear of gettin blown off and I've been noticing women respond better even when they blow me off.


Status update:
After my most recent field report, went out another 3-4 times. Will be posting another field report on Saturday/Sunday after which I will add another skill into my focus from HTMGC.

Things to take note of:
1. When building/maintaining social momentum, sometimes the conversation can get boring and dull, and that adds no fuel to the momentum that I'm trying to build (whether it's talking to girls or guys). I'll try to create more banter/jokes while remembering the law of least effort.
2. Sometimes my mind is very clouded by anxiety of whether the interaction will go well. And this can make me completely forget about the social fundamentals I'm working on during interactions. Solution 1: Try meditating before going out. Solution 2: Telling myself to chill out when in the field
3. When I'm interested I tend run the conversation way too fast, and this can make me come off as wierd, so conversation speed is something I have to bring down to a normal speed so that I don't make girls eject.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Direct is "Hey I saw you and think you're cute/attractive/wow/jazz/whatever and had to meet you." Direct openers don't beat around the bush, nor do they hide your intentions.

The 3 openers you quoted are more indirect. The girl will hear your compliment about her clothing, and while she can probably guess what's really on her mind, she doesn't know for sure until there's more conversation.

In any case, yeah based on what you wrote, it doesn't sound like opener issues. Was just curious how you're opening.

Have you read this article before? https://www.girlschase.com/content/think-numbers-talking-lots-girls
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Messages
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Hey @ElderPrice , gosh, thanks for recommending that to me, I hadn't read that article before, I won't say the cliche "it all makes sense now" but this is definitely something I have been missing out on big time.

On average, in one outing, I'm only approaching 10-15 girls, and now I understand that that really may not be enough. This is going to require a mindset shift from me and some getting used to to be doing more approaches in a shorter span of time.

After reading the article u recommended me, I also read this article:


Status update:
Just ended my first week of learning skills from "How To Make Girls Chase". Went out today for a 4 hour day game outing and approached 12 girls. In terms of numbers. Does not seem great. But I'm happy that I'm tracking my progress this way.

Link to field report:

This whole think in numbers thing is really changing my approach to designing my outings. Thanks again @ElderPrice !


Goals for the following week(s):

Increase my approach numbers for each outing

The goal here for now is to be increasing my approach numbers to a stage where I am doing 4 approaches an hour WHILE maintaining my other learning progress.
I will only start to think about doing 5 approaches an hour (recommended on GC blog as optimal) after I manage to achieve 4 approaches an hour

This is not advice taken from HTMGC but I do not feel that it really conflicts with the HTMGC content either.
I am starting to feel more and more that seduction is a numbers game.


The hard push (From HTMGC)
Just keep asking a girl enough times to change her mind
Just keep giving her reasons that sound good


The panoply of reasons (From HTMGC)
Throw a bunch of logical reasons her way so that it is overwhelmingly logical that she carry on the interaction with you
The aim is to structure everything as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that might be lost if the interaction does not carry on


Conversation (From HTMGC)
1. Only sharing from perspectives that she can relate to
Couch an experience u share with a girl on something that she can relate to. But get as much specific information about her experience before u share yours as possible
If she hasn't had the experience, ask what kind of experience she would like to have

2. Thread cutting
Take a word out of her previous sentence and build a more interesting thread from there.
Remember to relate to the sentiment of her previous sentence and not just the words

3. Thread amplifying
When she hits an interesting topic:
a. Share a related experience that I have
b. Show interest and request that she tell you more about it

4. Thread looping (Not gonna focus on this for now)



Once again, I will write a field report to see how my outings have changed/improved at the end of this week.

I do feel that this the above set of skills is quite a bit to learn. So I will have the expectation to focus on these skills for the next 2 weeks. But I will check my progress with field report writing and some reflections at the end of the first week
 
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Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
Status update:

Just went on my 6th date from Daygame.

Also managed to pull off my best outing so far on 260920.

Going to start counting my approaches and results:
240920: 21 approaches, 1 insta-date (1 phone number from that same girl)
260920: 17 approaches, 1 insta-date, (5 phone numbers, inclusive of girl on insta-date)

I would mark my total number of approaches since I started going out consistently on April 7 as 750.

TRE:
I booked a set of 3 one-to-one sessions with quite an experienced TRE instructor and I realized that I had been doing TRE the wrong way for the past 7-8 weeks. Now I am spending time to unlearn the wrong habits that I picked up when trying to learn it on my own.

Now I get a very different feeling when/after doing TRE. Will update on TRE progress about a month from now.


Building a social life:
Acting class: I just finished a Level 1 6 week acting course, and I must say that I learnt A TON simply from attending class and going for group meet-ups with my class mates that we arranged before class every week. Only 4-5 out of the 8-9 other people in my acting class were cool with socializing but I learnt a lot about socializing in general.

Enrolled in the Level 2 6 week acting course that will start in 2 weeks time. Looking forward to meet a new batch of 8-9 other people who I can socialize with.

Street dance class: I've gone for 3 sessions of street dance class already, and I must say that I have never met so many girls (through some form of social circle) in my entire life. The amount of time I've spent during/before/after dance class talking to girls is ridiculous. Yesterday I must have had at least 10 decent conversations with new girls. Absolutely mind-blowing to me.

In general: I've started building an Instagram account though for now I have kept my Instagram life split from my academic life. There isn't going to much intersection anyways.


How I did wrt my goals from the 2nd week:
Increasing approach numbers:
I definitely managed to increase my approach numbers to the desired level on the above 2 outings which was good.

I would say that I did have difficulty maintaining social momentum for the outing on 240920 where I was rapidly losing social momentum past the 18th approach. This problem didn't happen on the 260920 outing because the Saturday crowd is more conducive.

The hard push:
I definitely learned a great deal of more persistence this week and executed the hard push almost exactly as Chase described in his ebook once... Although that hard push did not succeed, I could see the girl's respect for me shoot through the roof.
The lesson that I learnt from here is persistence. Not precisely the hard push. Because the thing is that I am not actively looking out for opportunities to do the hard push.
In terms of giving a panoply of reasons, there really weren't too many opportunities to practice this skill without looking like a wierdo.

Conversation:
I more or less did not manage to get any deliberate training here at all. Even on all the insta-dates and long conversations we had, the lessons that I WAS SUPPOSED TO apply to my conversations WERE NOT EVEN ON MY MIND because there were so many other things to worry about. Like locking in, like making some hard pushes, like dealing with tests/boyfriend objections, purely just listening very hard to everything that a girl says to get ideas on how to carry on the conversation...
I would say that I did train one skill which is listening very hard to what girls are saying.
I have also found that in almost all of the cold approaches that I do, the main sticking point towards having a good conversation is the skill of only sharing experiences/perspectives of my own that she can relate to.
In general, when there is an interesting topic, I naturally would want to thread amplify
In terms of thread cutting, I do not have enough information to comment on how often I run into scenarios where this is necessary.

How well I retained the social fundamentals from week 1:
In terms of social momentum, I think I not only retained the skills but improved at my social momentum building. This is because I am starting to see finding positive people to talk to as a numbers game as well. I am also consistently finding better and better places to Daygame where social momentum is readily accessible and that has had quite a positive impact on results.

In terms of using the law of least effort in interactions, I certainly have noticed instances where my level has dropped from the level that I had attained from my first week of training. Not too worried about this, I did expect this to happen a bit, but things are STILL improving.


Goals for week 3 (the coming week):
The goals in week 2 were too much for me to swallow and execute properly though the training that I got during week 2 was not in any way bad.

Maintaining and consolidating progress from weeks 1 and 2:
1. Social momentum
2. Law of least effort in interactions (No need to worry specifically about it, just take note if standards drop too low)
3. Maintaining a pace of 4 approaches an hour while maintaining social momentum from all sorts of people to offset the negativity from many approaches constantly not panning out.
4. Chilling out and troubleshooting during outings

Putting the panoply of reasons, thread cutting, and thread amplifying on the backlog for now:
In terms of training these as a deliberate skill, I will avoid these because I do do some of these naturally enough if I have managed to perform the skills from weeks 1 well enough.
The panoply of reasons is a scenario that actually is not coming up often for me for now, so I will not focus on it

Once again, the hard push (From HTMGC)
Just keep asking/persisting towards a girl enough times to change her mind (Can be at any point in time during the interaction)
Just keep giving her reasons that sound good

Once again... Conversation: Only sharing from perspectives that she can relate to (From HTMGC)
Couch an experience u share with a girl on something that she can relate to. But get as much specific information about her experience before u share yours as possible
If she hasn't had the experience, ask what kind of experience she would like to have

Training this first will allow me to do thread cutting and thread amplification in the right way in the future.

Once again, I will write a field report to see how my outings have changed/improved at the end of this week.

My school is going to be picking up again at the end of this week so I won't have much excess time following that. I have set aside about 22 hours a week to work on seduction so I don't see my progress over the past few weeks getting too impacted by the resuming school schedule.
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
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Messages
233
Status update:
Went out 3 times this week, results:
Thurs: 15 approaches, 5 numbers
Fri: 15 approaches, no numbers
Sat: 23 approaches, 5 numbers
I can say that this brings my total approach number to 803 as a rough estimate.

Cutting the field report writing for outings AND some schedule changes
I'm going to stop writing the weekly outing field report as I'm finding it too much of a hassle to write one every week.
I will try to write a report for every date I go on I suppose. Not going to be too stringent on how detailed the field report is either.
I have to be maximizing my efficiency because I have to keep up with other life commitments.
I did say that I would be putting in 22 hours a week into learning seduction. Right now it feels like I only want to keep it to about 15-18 hours a week

The plan for now:
I feel that I may be on track to getting more dates. I must now slap myself into the realization that these really are the best places for me to learn about girls and gain experience. Thus, I will give dates priority over outings.
I will have a minimum of 15 hours a week spent on learning seduction. If I on any particular week do not successfully spend 15 hours on seduction then I will rollover those hours to the next week.
I will have a cap of 20 hours a week spent on learning seduction. If I on any particular week spend more than 20 hours on seduction, I will ensure that I will spent that amount of time less in the following week of learning.
For example, if next week I spend 28 hours learning seduction, the following week, there should be a maximum of 20-8=12 hours spent on learning seduction.

This time management includes:
1. Time spent on outings
2. Writing field reports
3. Time spent preparing for/going on dates
4. Time spent studying material
5. Time spent updating my journal

Boards-updating schedule:
I will reply to and make posts only whenever I come on the boards to update my journal.
I will only update my journal after I have calculated that 20 hours spent meeting women. This means that if I update my journal here, I have spent 20 hours either on dates or on outings where I am actively meeting women. This does not include:
Time spent writing field reports OR
Time spent preparing for dates
I suppose I have to exert self-control here because I will be spending a lot less time on seduction. The learning curve will be slower... But I accept the responsibility.

If I am writing a field report for a date, I will just write and post the field report for the date and DO NOTHING ELSE.

How I did wrt my goals from the 3rd week:
Maintaining my progress from weeks 1 and 2:
I would say that here things went well
1. Most of the plan to maintain my previous skills went pretty ok, sometimes I would break the law of least effort in conversation, or my social fundamentals for the sake of coming off as more honest or more genuine, but never when the interaction would as a result have become me chasing the girl too much. I was most of the time conscious of when I broke these rules.
2. In terms of approach numbers, almost no problem at all doing 16 approaches in 4 hours. On Friday, I was having a bad day because I literally could not find any cool people around, the quality of approaches and social momentum tanked in sync.

The hard push and conversation
I would say that here things didn't go well
The thing that I have noted about my training in the hard push and the relevant aspects of conversation is that the opportunities to get deliberate practice in these fields are extremely sporadic. Honestly, over the course of week 3, I feel that even though my results did show some improvement for now, I did not actually manage to get much deliberate training in the things that I wanted to deliberately train at all. I definitely took action when opportunities came but this was really nowhere near any regular level of training.


Goals for my 4th sprint (Since I'm now measuring practice in terms of in-field hours rather than weeks):
Putting the hard push and conversation on the back log too
I really am not getting deliberate practice in these 2 areas, I currently am under the impression that these skills, whose opportunities for training only come sporadically, should be lumped together with a quite a large set of other sporadically used skills and trained together.
In any case, I shall train the skills that I can work on every minute that I am involved in an interaction and nail them down before I start focusing on those skills whose opportunities for training only appear sporadically.


I am actually really excited to get into this because I can train it with everyone! People in the new social circles I am building, my family, new women I meet, literally everyone!
And I think it will help me in interacting with everyone too! Not just girls I try to seduce. It will help me become a cool... but more importantly... NORMAL guy.
My main focus for this week: Eye contact (From HTMGC)
1. Keep your eyes fixed at the bridge of the nose directly between the eyes. Practice holding eye contact with everyone for as long as possible.
2. Maintain eye contact for most of the time when you are the listener. You should be giving the speaker more eye contact than she/he is giving you.
3. Avoid coming across as staring by averting your eye contact when eye contact is averted. Calibrate my eye contact to how much she/he averts eye contact from me.
4. Only ever avert eye contact to the side
4. Get to a stage where you are comfortable maintaining steady eye contact
5. Minimize blinking as far as possible, blink only when your conversation partner looks away.

I think that to do this with every interaction I have will be already a bit too much for me to take in. But let's see how it goes, I'll post an update after 20 in-field hours with women.

Remaining skills regarding eye contact that I will postpone to the 5th sprint or later:
1. When you are the speaker, maintain eye contact 70% of the time and avert it 30% of the time.
2. When at the high/important point of your speech, look away


Marching on happily,
Y
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
Status update (Wow 2 weeks feels like a really long time, miss checking the boards more often but I believe it's for the better too)

Monday 051020: Went on my 7th date from day game where I successfully pulled the 2nd time in my life. The duration of the whole date was 4 hours. There was a physical escalation though it was probably uncalibrated. Physical escalation failed and she left the seduction location.

Tuesday 061020: Went on my 8th date from daygame. Where I got a girl to my car but she refused to shut the door and there were other logistical fk ups. I changed tack to drive her back to where her apartment block was and kept persisting to get her to take me up to her apartment and failed at doing so. The duration of this date was 4 hours.

Sat 101020: 17 approaches, 1 number. The duration of this outing was 4 hours

Thurs 151020: Went on my 9th date from daygame. This date lasted only 30mins. I tried to get her to sit in the back seat of my car at about the 30 min mark and she refused and just walked off from me there and then. I decided to pull early because she said at the beginning of the date that she only had 90mins to spend with me and that she had to conclude the date to meet her friends. Perhaps this was a mistake. Will learn from it. Interesting thing to note about this date was that I persisted in my texting for 2 long weeks before I got her to come out on the date. She flaked the first time and then and acted like nothing was wrong and persisted for a second time and got the date.

Fri 161020: 26 approaches, 3 numbers,1 insta-date (with one of the girls I got the phone number from). The duration of this outing was 6 hours.

Sat 171020: 20 approaches, 4 numbers. The duration of this outing was 4 hours.

Total approach numbers now: 803 + 17 + 26 + 20 = 866 as a rough estimate.

Remarks:
Quite happy about how this is turning out. Feels like I'm not approaching enough though. But that is ok because I spent huge chunks of time in the last 2 weeks going on dates and writing the field report for one of those dates.


How I did wrt my goals from the 4th sprint:
Maintaining my progress from weeks 1, 2, 3:

Definitely gotten a lot more chill and really learning to chill out and have some recovery breaks during outings. Not choosing to take risks that are TOO HUGE. Very happy with maintenance of progress from weeks 1 and 2, no dramatic drop in those skills.
My hard push skills are surprisingly actually staying with me very well. They came to become of wonderful use during my 7th date from daygame to help me to pull.

Things that I did well:
1.2. Practice holding eye contact with everyone for as long as possible.
2. Maintain eye contact for most of the time when you are the listener. You should be giving the speaker more eye contact than she/he is giving you.
3. Avoid coming across as staring by averting your eye contact when eye contact is averted. Calibrate my eye contact to how much she/he averts eye contact from me.
4. Only ever avert eye contact to the side
4. Get to a stage where you are comfortable maintaining steady eye contact
5. Minimize blinking as far as possible, blink only when your conversation partner looks away.

Things that did not go so well:
1.1. Keep your eyes fixed at the bridge of the nose directly between the eyes:
This really did not go so well as I always ended up looking in people eyes rather than looking at the bridge of the nose.

Time management
I think 20 hours is actually quite A LOT of practice before the an update and a progression to focus on the next most important set of skills. I would say that 15-20 hours is perfect and so that is the amount of in-field hours that I will put myself through before making my next update.


Goals for my 5th sprint:
Looking at the past 2 weeks, I actually had more results than I've ever had. I'm not going to get too excited about it. Just going to keep focusing on becoming the man in HTMGC.

Maintaining my progress from weeks 1, 2, 3, 4:
I have really had to much trouble with this so far. I will troubleshoot immediately if any of these become a problem.

My main focus for this week: Basic vocal technique (From HTMGC) AND consolidating eye contact
Voice
1. This is not from HTMGC but from here: Practice slowing down, breathing calmly when talking, and focusing on "relaxing your muscles (way easier said than done)".
2. Putting less pressure on the hyoid: By raising the back of the tongue
3. Depth and resonance: Speaking from the bottom of your CHEST and LUNGS. (Try to ensure the chest is vibrating when speaking)
4. Do this without coming off as try-hard.

I did some research on how to improve voice and apparently there's a TON of information out there. But I will just focus on building a basic, cool voice for now. After voice and eye contact, I would like to move away from fundamentals and start to train some other aspects of game.

So from what I've been looking at, a good voice is highly connected to breathing and there are many vocal and breathing exercises that should be done to improve voice.

Eye contact
1. Keep your eyes fixed at the bridge of the nose directly between the eyes
2. When you are the speaker, maintain eye contact 70% of the time and avert it 30% of the time.


Other tips for eye contact/voice improvement that I won't implement this time:
1. This is not from HTMGC but from here: Focus on projecting your voice and being unafraid of being heard.
2. When at the high/important point of your speech, look away (I generally don't tell stories often enough for there to be any consistent training for this at this stage)

Once again, as with last week, I will do this with everyone I meet.


P.S. I've noticed that girls in the social circles I'm trying to build are acting VERY weird/cold around me and it sometimes gets under my skin...
To which I recall the sentence by Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain in the Traveller's Gift:
"We will not be pulling out, Sergeant,"

Until next time,
Y
 
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Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
Status update

Thurs 221020: Went on a 2 hour date which was my 10th girl from day game. This girl was like a 3 or 4 on the 1-10 number scale and I couldn't tell because of her the mask she was wearing when I approached her. Glad to have this experience dating a less good-looking girl (relative to other girls at least). Did not pull successfully. She ended the date by just saying a quick bye and walking away from me.

Fri 231020: Went on a 4 hour date which was my 11th girl from day game. I managed to get a girl into the back seat of my car for the 4th time. Date sequence: Dinner, bar, car. Lesson learnt: I didn't break the touch barrier well enough so it was really awkward when I finally went for the kiss and it failed. First time I did a bar bounce so that was cool.

Saturday 241020: 4 hour outing. I was actually feeling quite like shit on this day but I thought I'd test it out and talk to a couple of people first and see how it goes. Didn't turn out to be too bad. Though I did walk out of the outing with a slight headache. Glad that I went on this outing.
17 approaches. 2 numbers.

Friday 301020: Went on a 4 hour outing. 24 approaches. 1 number.

Saturday 311020: Went on a 3.5 hour outing. 15 approaches. 3 numbers

This brings my total approach numbers to about 866 + 17 + 15 + 24 = 922


How I did wrt my goals from the 5th sprint:
Maintaining my progress from weeks 1, 2, 3, 4:

Most of the progress from weeks 1, 2, and 3 are pretty much sticking with me quite well.
Unfortunately, I have actually not retained the eye contact skills that I have been training in week 4 because during my past 3 outings I was actually trying to be a normal guy and do a more chill form of approaching.
What I feel about this is that I really am becoming a very normal and cool person. I can feel it. Unfortunately, my goal in training these fundamentals is not to just become a normal guy but to acquire the skills of the man who girls chase. Which is what I feel went wrong these 2 weeks.

The basic vocal technique training:
I must be honest here and say that I did not consciously focus very much on the things that I said I would focus on. Perhaps out of all the 17.5 hours I spent on seduction these 2 weeks, it was only an absolute maximum of 1.5 hours that I actually spent deliberately working on my vocal technique.

The eye contact training:
1. Keep your eyes fixed at the bridge of the nose directly between the eyes:
My EC wrt to this is still no where near consistent, and I generally drift to looking into eyes rather than at the bridge of the nose.

2. When you are the speaker, maintain eye contact 70% of the time and avert it 30% of the time.
Had zero deliberate training wrt to this.

All in all, I really did not do well in following "How To Make Girls Chase" this week.


Goals for my 6th sprint:
So what's happened over the past 2 weeks is that I did manage to get quite a bit of general practice in, just not deliberate practice. I believe that I need deliberate practice.

It even seems to be the case that (I'm not completely sure about this but I'll find out probably within the next 1-2 months) I don't have TOO huge of a problem with pulling.

Looking at outings and dates differently
For the next 2 weeks, during my outings, I will work on eye contact and eye contact only. On dates, I will work on doing what I have been doing so far, plus some eye contact, AND AS A NEW FOCUS POINT for the next 15-20 hours worth of dates, pre-physical-escalation touch.

Putting the vocal training on the backlog for now and zooming in on drilling my eye contact
(I will come back to update my progress on this once I am done with 15-20 in-field hours of outings + dates)

So what's been happening out in the field is that at least 75% of my mental energy has been going into overcoming anxiety, coming up with creative openers, building social momentum, and handling all other stuff. This is leaves about a maximum of 25% of my energy to deliberately work on any skills.

On dates, I actually have more time to train my eye contact though I do put some energy into pulling calmly and casually and making the date feel normal and making sure there are no major fk ups during the date.

1. Keep your eyes fixed at the bridge of the nose directly between the eyes
2. When you are the speaker, maintain eye contact 70% of the time and avert it 30% of the time.


So what's going to happen is that on outings, aside from all the necessary logistics. I will more or less only worry about keeping my eyes focused at this facial position.
Another thing to note is that I will maintain this elite eye contact for as long as possible, when I am the speaker, in addition to when I am the listener.
I am nowhere near being able to maintain this elite eye contact when speaking, so I have to start maintaining this eye contact WHILE SPEAKING. Not going to worry about any 70-30 ratio for now.


Touch (I will come back to update my progress on this once I am done with 15-20 in-field hours of DATES ONLY)
The set of touch skills I will work on on dates in the coming weeks (From HTMGC)
1. Practice standing closer to girls and making them be up close to me (no need to pull her in/close for now)
2. Touch cheat sheet:
a. Cupping her elbow/upper arm with my palm on higher points
b. Leading by putting the palm of my hand on the small of her back when navigating weird walkways
c. Putting my arm around a girl's shoulder when moving with her, or when stationary with her
d. Placing the palm of your hand on her side near her waist and leaving your hand there
e. Placing the palm of your hand on the small of her back and leaving it there

3. Letting my hand linger for 2-3 seconds
4. Maintaining eye contact when I use touch.


The full set of touch skills that I eventually want to get good at (From HTMGC)
1. Kinds of incidental touch: Touching a girl's elbow on a high point, sitting next to her with your legs touching hers, placing your hand on her side near her waist and leaving your hand there, placing your hand on the small of her back and leaving it there.
2. Kinds of protective touch: Placing your hand on her lower back while guiding her through a crowd, placing your arm in front of her chest or stomach to stop her stepping into the street, put your arm around her shoulder
3. Kinds of romantic touch: Briefly stroking her chin or cheek, playing with her hair, holding her hands
4. Important tips: Use the palm of your hand to touch a girl.
5. When touching, always aim to let your hand linger for 2-3 seconds.
6. Maintain eye contact as you touch
7. Just touch her. Be generous with touch. Be continuously touching the girl you are getting to know
8. Follow the principle: If it feels good for you, generally it feels good for her too.
9. Try pulling her closer.
10. Touch on high points


That's it for now. For the next 3-4 weeks, it's going to be eye contact and touch. Not exactly sure how good I can get with my eye contact or how far I can possibly refine it. I suppose I'll give it a shot for another 2 weeks and then fully move on to something else (probably voice).


Parting thoughts:
1. What I have been finding is that even with this spending only 15-20 hours a week on seduction schedule, I am not having enough time/energy to focus on some other parts of my life that are gradually becoming more necessary. For now I'm going to maintain this schedule. However, I probably can't say the same for what's going to happen 1-2 months from now. I may have to take an off-period from seduction and then come back to it when there is more time.
2. This thread REALLY changed my life. The content of this thread was inspired by YS. If there's anyone who's dealing with some quite strong anxiety and insecurities about women and people who are reading this post, check it out. It may give you the advice you need. I'm still fighting the insecurity and will be quite a while before I overcome it. But the increased power that I feel now is something I never imagined would ever happen to me... Just by building a social life. Making friends who are girls has given me an incredibly important angle from which to learn to love women. I'm coming to understand that just like guys, girls have great dreams, they have nasty thoughts, they are imperfect human beings whose beauty anyone can learn to see because everyone is imperfect. But they do need men to lead them. Wow.


What a journey this is
Y
 
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Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
Status update

Monday 051020: Went on date with 12th girl from day game. An FR++. Still a lot to learn. Date lasted 4 hours.

Tuesday 061020: Went on date with 13th girl from day game. Date lasted 2 hours. Interesting step of the way in this journey. An FR. Date lasted 2 hours.

Fri 051120: Went on a 3.5 hour outing. 11 approaches, 3 numbers.

Saturday 061120: 3 hour outing. 11 approaches no numbers

Friday 131120: Went on a 4 hour outing. 22 approaches. no numbers.

Saturday 141120: Went on a 4 hour outing. 34 approaches. 2 numbers

This brings my total approach numbers to about 922 + 11 + 11 + 22 + 34 = 1000


How I did wrt my goals from the 6th sprint:
Maintaining my progress from weeks 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6:

I actually had a short problem with social momentum building in the outings of 5th and 6th November. But I managed to deal with these on 13 and 14 Nov so not too much of an issue.

With respect to eye contact, I'm honestly not implementing it well. This is because I do not deliberately think about eye contact when I cold approach. But whenever I make eye contact, I do remember that I should not be looking in the girls eyeballs but rather at the bridge of her nose and try my best to do so and maintain eye contact there without coming off as try-hard.

Does this mean that I am going off tangent? Perhaps. But Chase did say in HTMGC that it is not good to be too adamant on training any one skill/thing in particular and see seduction as a process. I believe I did get some solid eye contact training.


Goals for my 7th sprint:
I've been focussing on eye contact and thinking about it for quite a long time already so it's time for me to move on from it and try to retain the lessons that I have learnt.

Eye contact

So what I will do for the next 2 weeks is in addition to the other stuff I'm training, I'll keep trying to work on my eye contact... and see if any improvements are made.

1. Keep your eyes fixed at the bridge of the nose directly between the eyes
2. When you are the speaker, maintain eye contact 70% of the time and avert it 30% of the time.


So what's going to happen is that on outings, aside from all the necessary logistics. I will more or less only worry about keeping my eyes focused at this facial position.
Another thing to note is that I will maintain this elite eye contact for as long as possible, when I am the speaker, in addition to when I am the listener.
I am STILL nowhere near being able to maintain this elite eye contact when speaking, so I have to start maintaining this eye contact WHILE SPEAKING. Not going to worry about any 70-30 ratio for now.

Voice

1. Putting less pressure on the hyoid: By raising the back of the tongue
2. Depth and resonance: Speaking from the bottom of your CHEST and LUNGS. (Try to ensure the chest is vibrating when speaking)
3. Do this without coming off as try-hard.


So I'm going to start training my voice in basic ways again. Not too sure what to skills to move on to next to be honest. The only things that I can really get consistent training in are the fundamentals like these. I may need to give HTMGC another read.


Other things I'm thinking about:
1. With respect to the lessons that I've been learning from GC and this forum, there are actually 2 major goals for me: a) Getting good at seduction and b) making good friends (especially female friends). I do not want to confuse these 2 different goals. I barely have the time to work on one of these.

This is not to say that if I'm lucky to have people eager/willing to be good friends with me I'm going to push them away, but I will have to cut the proactivity in this area in order focus on learning seduction.

I don't know what the right choice to make is: Go for friends but and don't get sex or go for sex but don't get friends. Honestly, sex seems closer than friends are for me right now. Sex is as I've read in Daniel Rose's "The sex god method" the ultimate human experience.

I'll just have faith and push for sex in that case, I may be able to last another 8-9 months in this learning schedule before I run out of resources.


2. I've started approaching not only during my outings but as I go out about my day as well (now that I'm having to go out to attend dance and acting classes and run other errands quite regularly). I'll see what kind of results I get from here.


3. I've also started to read the other resources that Mr. Rob recommened on ElderPrice's journal like Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins, may check out either Endurance or Man's Search For Meaning next.


Will keep grinding @readers and @Merchant's-Kin,
Y
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
Going to make a short update:

201120 Fri: 20 approaches 3 numbers
211120 Sat: 23 approaches 0 numbers
271120 Fri: 26 approaches 1 number

Side approaches accumulated from doing approaches when going about my day:
Approaches: 2+2+2+1+2+2=11 Numbers: 1

This brings my total approach numbers to about 1000 + 20 + 23 + 26 + 11 = 1070


I just caught on to the sudden realization of why my approach quality has been dropping before I went out to day and realized that it was my fundamentals from my first 2 weeks of training that I have been letting slip and they were actually making my approaches much worse.

I deliberately went to reset the focus on the following skills during today's outing:
1. In general, putting in as little effort as possible.
2. Expressing ideas concisely and to the point not only with words
3. Deflecting requests for compliance, using ambiguity and statements like "maybe later"
4. Learning to make the other person try to get your attention



I found that the skills came back pretty quickly when I resumed deliberate focus on them but it's worth noting that it is not the case that I am subconsciously doing these things.

I have really been working on eye contact for quite a long time and I can really feel some significant improvement with respect to my eye contact.
Now, most of the time I simply instantly look at the bridge of the nose between people's eyes rather than looking into their eyeballs and have no problems averting eye contact to the side.

I am going to take a break from eye contact for now. I should be coming back to eye contact very soon. There's still room for improvement for eye contact. This is in particular with respect to the speaker listener eye contact ratios. As of now, I can say my eye contact is decent but not elite.


Going to keep focusing on voice for now:

Voice

1. Putting less pressure on the hyoid: By raising the back of the tongue
2. Depth and resonance: Speaking from the bottom of your CHEST and LUNGS. (Try to ensure the chest is vibrating when speaking)
3. Do this without coming off as try-hard.


I'll see where I get with this over the span of another 3 outings. Perhaps from there on I may be able to move on to new skills or develop in other directions.


Other thoughts and implementations
1. Not going to implement more skills now since I have not been maintaining my standards in line with my expectations for myself.
2. I have been implementing the belly breathing exercise from the book "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" as recommended by Bacchus.
I thought I'd just start learning it even though I'm a virgin currently. It's going to be a while before I am having sex with any kind of regularity. Might as well start training all those self-control techniques incrementally.
Currently, I'm doing 36 belly breaths every morning. Will do this until the end of this week and then create some kind of schedule where I can continually get practice and facilitate the transition to learning to carry this deep belly breathing into my normal breathing pattern.
3. I am currently doing TRE only once a week
4. I actually have a very low body fat percentage (at least as appears) and only eat 2 meals a day. I have a feeling that this is impacting my sex drive and energy when I'm approaching girls on outings. I have decided to eat more and specifically eat more meat.
5. Actually haven't gone on any dates for the past 3 weeks and that is somehow actually making me quite desperate, it is a visceral feeling. Going to find a way to start using dating apps to supplement cold approach.
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
233
Quick update

No dates, approaches:
281120 Sat: 9 approaches 0 number
Actually gave up and went home in the span of this outing because somehow I was having too much expectations for myself and my bitterness was coming back

From then until 111220, only did sporadic approaches (maybe 1 or 2 approaches everyday and as I went about my day). Was quite busy with work the week before.

111220 Fri: 22 approaches no numbers
Sporadic approaches: 1 +1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 3 = 14 approaches, no numbers.

This brings my total approach numbers to: 1070 + 22 + 14 = 1106


Life changes that I have implemented:

1. According to some advice from the sex god method, going hungry is not good for sex drive, honestly speaking, I had been feeling quite a low sex drive when out approaching, and it sometimes feels like a pain.
Since 2019 until now, I have only been consistently eating 2 meals a day. So last week I began to discipline myself into eating 3 meals a day. Not sure how this is going to go but I'll probably try it for a month and see how things go. Probably should make a post on the beginner's board to see what other people's experiences with this has been.
2. Continuing with the belly breathing exercises from The Multi-Orgasmic man. Keen to take more action here. Going to try to get started with a process for training my PC muscles by tomorrow.
3. I am only training to split orgasm from ejaculation by masturbating once a week. This is quite slow progress. It has made me look to PC pull-ups and kegel exercises to improve because the amount of control I have now is no good. My going out days are Fri-Sat so I always masturbate on Sundays. Absolutely no porn.
4. Did the GC and SS boards research on Tinder tips and will try to get the first chunk of the process going by the end of next week. Going to start to post ads to look for photographers in my city. Looking forward to success and failure. Credits to bboy100 for the great Tinder tips and Chase's plenty of fish article as well
5. Over the past 3-4 weeks finished reading Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins and Endurance by Alfred Lansing as recommended by Mr. Rob. Endurance is one HELL OF AN INSPIRING BOOK. Bought and moving on to Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl this week.


Things that I have noticed regarding approaching:
1. Currently, this favourite day game location of mine is full of people watching me as I approach, even though the girls are stationary. Crowded taxi stands, crowded bus stop, and crowded waiting area. This somewhat increases my Approach Anxiety and hinders my deliberate learning.

The good thing about this day game location is that of all the places in my city, I find that it is the most conducive to building social momentum. I'm not sure how much this matters. I'm pretty sure it matters quite a bit. I think I will stick with this day game location and keep focusing on deliberate learning.

With enough time, I believe SKILL > APPROACH ANXIETY .


2. Not reacting quickly enough or unable to react to approach invitations: I'm not sure what HTMGC's stance on this is.

Stationary girls:
A lot of the time, I find it easier to approach stationary girls because I have at least half a minute to think of an opener, and she hasn't got some momentum where she's moving away from me.

However, this is actually leading me to lose a lot of REAL approach invitations. A lot of the AIs that I get from stationary girls are just way too obvious. I believe Franco mentioned this in one of his posts in the past where girls who are already in very secure relationships can just make the invitations very obvious and be super secure about it because of the existing partners they have in their lives.

I spend way too much time stressing about these, because now I feel pressured (I suppose I shouldn't be pressuring myself) to come up with an opener to talk to this stationary girl who has made it easy for me, even though I not necessarily like this girl very much, generally quite annoying.

Moving girls:
I suppose when I do get approach invitations from moving girls that seem real I should be pushing myself to go for them.


Quite tired of writing already, that's it for now,
Y
 
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