Y's journal revamped

[Merchant's-Kin]

Update

Been carrying on with my normal approach schedule but still, not much results. Perhaps I should emphasize that I get a lot of stares/check-outs from women that are quite fake. Like half the women on the street that I walk past will give me these looks. I think that I give off a very strong rebellious and edgy vibe. The very I don't give an F feeling.

These stares that I get can come in the form of smiling and looking me right in the eyes as I walk past them. I say this is fake because there are actually 2 different kinds of messages that I get from women's body language (aside from the women who give me no message: i.e. no body language change in response to my presence):

A. Their body-language starts to become very attention-seeking: They'll come and walk really close to me, or if I'm stationary and they are walking past me some slow their speed just as they start coming close to me, some even stop right there (for a few seconds) and pretend to be thinking about something. As though they stopped so that I can approach them
If they are for example talking to someone else who's next to them or talking with someone on the phone when I get near they start talking quite loudly.
It's quite clear that these AIs are fake in the sense that they more of the validation-seeking sort rather than

B. This one is so much more subtle. This one can come in the form of some quick glance or glare. Or some kind of shivering or extreme stiffness in a girl's body assuming that she is stationary. The key difference between these and the first kind of AI or IOI is that the girls in A are way too secure about the way they are expressing their interest in me while the girls in B really don't dare to express too much interest at all.

I'm gonna try to look out for girl B more and aim more of my approaches at them.

Approaches
Sat 122220: 29 approaches no numbers
Fri 181220: 20 approaches 2 numbers
Daily sporadic approaches: 2+1+2+1= 6

This bring my total approaches to: 1106 + 29 + 22 + 6 = 1163

Not going to update on the physical exercises this week. Had quite a few deadlines this week so didn't have the time to focus too much on that.


Troubleshooting:
I've been having a problem with my approaches so far which is that I am literally not at all focusing on learning the skills from HTMGC and all my standards having been dropping severely. So it's time to troubleshoot:


Areas which have been lacking:
Not focusing on social momentum: I think I have not been taking this seriously enough. I don't put enough focus on having GOOD conversations with people (men or women) before I start approaching. So that is going to have to happen when I go out today.
Not focusing on the law of least effort.

Another problem is that the conversations that I have been creating with women have been rather contrived. I believe this is because I have not been listening hard enough. I'm not sure about this. Will have to see where this goes.


Certain legit-sounding concerns:
1. It feels as though all these skills that I aim to apply to my approaches is causing some kind of polarization in my mind. The way I feel about this is that whenever I'm not trying to approach someone, I sort of recede back to my "normal self" and don't act like a high value man in my normal life. For example, when I am alone doing my work, or maybe perhaps even as I am writing this journal entry, I do not actually believe and act as though I am very high value. It has to be acknowledged that there are certain people I cannot be behaving too high value towards, like my parents. This certainly something to look into.
I believe the solution to this is to behave, think and act like a high value man whenever social calibration is not necessary. I have to make it such that I am spending more time being a high value man than time spent being my earlier self.

2. Approach anxiety, fear of rejection, quite a lot of social pressure to perform well from approaching in places where a lot of people are watching me approach:
Have been having quite a lot of this anxiety recently, but the reason I'm worried about this is that when I'm in the field, it takes my mind off of the things that I want to be focusing on, which are, training the skills from HTMGC.
I think the solution to this, based on Chase's article , is to overcome the fear, so that I can start focusing on the HTMGC skills. If I am trying to fight on two fronts at the same time, it's not going to go well for me. So perhaps the route for me to go is to first take some significant action to confront these fears, so that I will be able to manage and handle them better. Then, get back to training the HTMGC skills.

Quite sick of writing for now so will come back to edit this.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Update

Approaches during outings:

191220 : 18 approaches 3 numbers
201220 : 23 approaches 5 numbers
261220 : 17 approaches 1 number

Sporadic approaches:
3+6+1+4=14 Approaches (2 numbers total)

This brings my total approach numbers to: 1163 + 18 + 23 + 17 + 14 = 1235 approaches

Also went on a date with my 14th girl from daygame (One of the leads I got from the outing on 201220). Date only lasted 1hr and 30mins. Had a short dinner. Did my best to intrigue her though still absolutely no sexual and chase framing/innuendos to prime her for sex. Did decently well in keeping the focus on the girl and she talked 80% of the time.

Managed to get her to come to my car and when the I opened the front door, and then casually asked her to sit in the back with me she refused to so I just said sure let's sit in the front. I tried to kiss her in the front and she physically resists me so I stop. This girl was highly uncomfortable with my touch and said that it is "rude" to touch people the first time you are meeting them. I talk straight with her and tell her that nothing serious can happen between us and she gets a bit defensive. I just be cool about everything and try to hold up the lover frame despite my shit game and I'm happy that spelled the words out relatively confidently. Date ends at the 1.5 hour mark with her leaving the car after her verbally acknowledging that we're looking for different things.


Changes that I made

Too-obvious approach invitations
I completely stopped approaching girls who give me approach invitations that are too obvious. Very interesting to see that I'm getting a lot of less boyfriend/"I'm married" rejections. I will have to test this more thoroughly.

Real "get-intimate mode" body language from women
There are times when I can tell just by how a girl's body posture is oriented when she walks past me that she is in her "get intimate" mode. It may be some kind of shivering/stiffening up of their muscles. So far the couple of times when I have approached girls in this mood, they've sort of been really flustered when I approached them and it seemed like they did not have full control over their words/actions. Then they sort of ran away from me even though it did seem that they were attracted to me.
I actually see this quite rarely, since I am only approaching girls who are on their own, less than 1 in 10 girls I approached this week were significantly in this mode.


So I went through quite a few mindset changes over the past week because I started realizing some big mistakes that I have been making.

1. I realized that all the focus that I have been putting into the physical fundamentals from HTMGC (eye contact, touch, voice) has been my way of not challenging myself and staying in my comfort zone.
The truth is that up until now I've been extremely afraid of sexuality and being direct with the girls I'm talking to about what I want from them and just hoping to get sex from them. I've been extremely afraid of conveying the frame that I am a lover of women and believing that I am a high value man that women chase.
It is actually the case that my skills in terms of the physical techniques of game such as eye contact, touch, and voice are not too bad. I will not say that they are good. But they are really actually not that bad.
I am however.... very afraid of flirting (because I am afraid of sexuality), building intrigue (afraid to think of myself as a high value man), push pull (especially the push), chase framing (afraid to be someone who women chase), rewarding and punishing, responding when women challenge my frame (I previously always just submit... terrible for attraction), and definitely have difficulty with the mindset that women love sex.

2. So it's time to go to war with my fears. I'm going to shelve the training in the physical fundamentals right now to focus on some of the above list of skills from HTMGC, the things that I am most afraid of and that I am the weakest at.

For now, I'm going to start with (these are all taken from HTMGC):
Flirting
1. Being charming, sexy, and seductive
2. Using innuendoes, suggestion, and chase frames that hint at or imply the two of you getting together (through voice tones and nonverbal communication)

Therefore... some exploration of chase frames:
1. Set up the context that the girl in question is chasing you, and get her to accept the frame by seeding it in the conversation and then quickly changing the topic to something else
2. Use the right facial expressions and tonality.
3. Examples are, implying that she is genuinely pursuing you or teasing her about chasing after you


Push pull (will remember not to use this too early on in the interaction)
1. Give interest and disapproval, but then take it away
2. Express disinterest and disapproval, but then restore it

Responding to challenges
1. Playfully challenging a woman back without arguing with her
For now, I will just focus on only this means of responding to a woman's challenges.

Will work on these for a significant number of approaches/dates, and will see how it goes from here.
I have a feeling that I'm going to fail quite hard in the coming weeks, so I'm quite excited to see how I'm going to improve or what I will learn.


On a side note, even though my touch and voice skills did not improve greatly over the course of the past few months, it can be said that I managed to train my eye contact, at least whenever I am listening to people, to quite a high standard, I never have trouble looking people at the bridge of the nose in between the eyes anymore, and I have no problem maintain/averting eye contact at good timings.


Training regiment

1. Currently, because I would like to start putting more focus on my academics/employment options, I am going to drop the number of outings I go out on to once a week. This will hinder my progress understandably. However, I choose this path since I will need to achieve financial independence before I can begin learning any form of elite seduction in the first place.
I will be maintaining this once-a-week outing schedule minimally for the next 3 months if not the next 6 months.
It will be at least 3 years before I am going to have any financial independence whatsoever and that certainly is going to be a long time away.

2. I started doing pelvic floor muscle exercises since the beginning of this week, and have been having quite a bit of difficulty with them. Not really able to access these muscles that well yet. Will keep doing these once a day daily.

3. Apparently, in my country, Craigslist does not allow me to post ads offering myself as a model for aspiring photographers so I managed to find another site (apparently there's only one other one website that is viable) to post the ad but it's been at least 5 days since I posted the ad and no replies. It seems that the only available site to post my ads is not very frequently checked. Will not give up on this. I'll try to put a 1-2 hours a week into making progress in this field. Probably going to find other ways to find photographers.


A new social life that I'm beginning to build
1. I've started going for a lot more dance and acting classes/events recently, and that has put me into proximity with a lot more people though I still have no closer friends. Even though I will drop the number of outings I go out on every week, I will keep up going for acting and dance classes and continually try to expand my social circle and make friends.


In general, it seems that it's going to be quite some time before I'm having sex consistently because I am making the choice that I do not want to be putting in the time to be so active in seizing this achievement. Nevertheless, I'm quite happy and looking forward to the newly planned arrangement because I'm slowly and steadily building up most of the skills/foundation I need to really go to learn seduction at a much higher level a few years down the line from now.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Went on date with 15th girl from daygame on Mon 281220. It was a go nowhere date with some probably 40+ yr old lady who wanted to just be friends but thought it was cool that I approached her at a taxi stand and flirted with her. Probably almost the first legitimate time that I flirted with someone in my whole life. When initially cold approached her at least. Called off the date after less than an hour because the frames were fked. If I had better game maybe it would have been possible but I'm nowhere close.

Anyways that's not the reason for this post.

Today when I went out I approached 8 girls. Of these 2 were particularly memorable because they had boyfriends and I persisted and tried to carry the lover mindset into the interaction and I failed. I could describe myself as a front line soldier who fearlessly but blindly charged to the death and died.

But the thing I noticed was that there was some profound and sudden shift in the way both of them behaved when I tried to present them the lover frame.

The first girl was actually testing me and teasing me a little because I was quite a bit younger than her even after she told me she had a boyfriend. So I just persisted to chat and asked her out with the knowledge she had a boyfriend and then she said "but I have a boyfriend" then I said "So?" (In a rebellious "doesn't mean I can't have sex with you" tone of voice). Suddenly she just stopped teasing me, and looked and sounded like she was quite afraid.

The second girl I approached while she was sitting on a crowded bench in the middle of a square where there's at least 40 people watching me do it. She was working on her laptop and I chose to do it hilariously not because I particularly liked her but because I forced myself to challenge my fear.
Same thing happened she told me she had a boyfriend then I still asked her out then she said "ok, if you're ok with just being friends":
Then,
Me: But it's very hard for a guy and girl to be friends, one of them is always looking for ... (I paused here because I was actually afraid that the people sitting next to her on the bench would hear me, I was genuinely afraid to say something like this for the first time in my life) ... sex.
(Got the idea for saying this from one of Seppuku's lay reports, thanks!)

Her: (Can't remember the exact words of her shit-test but was something like) Is that something that applies to YOU?
Me: (Crap unprepared response) Maybe.

Following this I just play it off and keep it cool and platonic though I know I failed and a shit ton of people are watching. I'm surprised I managed to remain cool lol.

This 2nd girl was talking to me very sweetly, then all of a sudden, shit test. Like I've been approaching for 9 months, and I never seen such dramatic shifts until today.


Thoughts
I couldn't stop thinking about that shit test from the 2nd girl. When I got home and thought about it, it made me feel disgusted.
It turns out what I am disgusted at is the fact that women generally only want the high status guys and reject the low status guys. And the fact that I am not the high status guy (not yet at least)
So there's still this strong sense of entitlement in me. I guess it's good that I'm growing up. Interesting to have felt so much disgust for it. Experiencing life for real now I suppose.
Perhaps the thing I'm most afraid of is becoming arrogant when I do truly succeed. I've always had a huge distaste for arrogance because I was incredibly lucky to meet extremely kind and humble people throughout my entire life. It's all good since I really don't believe I will become arrogant.

So, I think I really don't have to change anything about the way I've been doing things. Girls stray from/leave their low status boyfriends for high status guys. That's the truth. EVEN IN THE COUNTRY THAT I AM IN RIGHT NOW.
A truth that I have been until now convincing myself wasn't because of the bullshit excuse that "it's a very conservative asian country".
I am simply understanding the way that things work and fighting hard for my goals. I am not going to think of how unfair everything is because there are not real hard rules about the aforementioned morality.
I will strive to accept down to the core of my bones that the absence of such fairness is reality.

Therefore, for now, I'll just do whatever the fk I need to do. I believe I'll get there soon enough.


Skills from HTMGC
I guess I can keep working on the skills from HTMGC that I mentioned to work on in the previous post. I do actually get quite a few opportunities to work on them just that I get too panicky that people around will judge me or that it's my first few times talking about these things.


Fake and real approach invitations
I'll still stick with going for girls who don't give very obvious approach invitations. There seems to be quite a good mix of girl types here.
I found Franco's post here to have quite an insightful take on it to look for "not IOIs but rather indicators of wanting to be approached without direct interest in any one guy"

Is It Wrong To Be Picky?

I've been having trouble lately approaching women who shows signs of interest simply because I am really picky. So much so that it is really irritating me. I've recalle a number of times when friends would ask for my opinion about particular women, based solely on looks, and they'd be surprised...

www.skilledseducer.com

It's beginning to be the case that some girls who walk past me are, on the first time that I glance in their direction (and first time I notice them), rolling their eyes away from me. Somehow I just started to walk really happily whenever I am on the street.
I'll try to approach 1-2 of these every day/every other day and see where this goes.


I hope that the fun does not stop,
Cheers

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Number of approaches since last update: 198

Amount of phone numbers: 23 phone numbers

This brings my total approach numbers to: 1235 + 198 = 1433 approaches


090121: 16th girl from daygame, bad compliance, tried sexual framing, failed to bring out objection because there was one, explored chase frames, sexual framing very briefly, push pull did not work so well, did lack of compliance hinder things? Probably.

210121: Went on my first social circle date since I started daygame 10+months back. Field report: https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...ar-girl-from-social-circle.24058/#post-128685

100221: Went on first date with my 17th girl from daygame. Let her go on too long about non-sexual topics, realised this then struggled to reset the conversation context to sexual, Coffee shop date then bounce to a different Coffee shop where I regained some form of conversational leadership by challenging and inspiring her (some unintentional push-pull), then I pulled her to same parking lot. Unfortunately, this time, logistics were not good because parents were using my usual 4 door car so I borrowed someone else's 2 door car and was try to make a move from the front seat (this made any moves I attempted to make quite chasy) , date ended without kiss, though when I was in the car my outcome independence turned her on quite a bit, I asked her if she wants sex with me and she said yes, her words said that she wanted sex with me but her actions did not (her body was shivering and she just kept clinging to her seat belt) , no physical compliance so I called it quits after doing some fractionation (in and out of some Beginner-level talking about sex with her) and drove her home, her excuse was that she was not ready because she hadnt been picked up like this before, she hasnt had sex in a year so was having anxiety, may have given up too early

Till now, still have not had a second date.



In the past 3 weeks, I've been struggling with my mind, the ups and downs got too much for me and Im not mentally strong enough at this point to prevent them from distracting me from my work.

I did say in my most recent field report that I do logically agree that how good a man is at seduction is simply a matter of how much experience he has in his mind and body at any point in time and hasnt got anything to do with how valid your identity is. Perhaps this is something that I agree with logically and not emotionally. Certainly not a surprise that I find it hard to believe emotionally.


In the past 2-3 weeks, Ive only been going out to daygame once a week. There definitely has been some kind of a delay to my learning in seduction. And it will carry on this way for a long time. The learning curve will be slow. I will have to endure it. It essentially means that I will stay with my V card for quite a while. Not very keen to take shortcuts on the V card.


I've also attempted very ferociously to get photos taken for dating apps. Apparently I enrolled a "friend" to help me take photos and the guy tried to take advantage of me. Lesson learnt. I currently do have some photos that I can use for dating apps (which this friend of mine took, after second thoughts, they seem ok) . But then again I am not very motivated to keep going at this seduction journey at such a quick pace. I'll give these photos a test soon.


The reason that my mind feels so horrible at this point in time is that unlike the first 9 months of my seduction journey (when I first came onto this board) I was going out at least 3 times a week, and putting in at least 5 hours a week doing daygame. Now it's only about 2 hours a week.

It has felt as though there is no meaning in my struggle against my sexual insecurities, like I am getting consumed and defeated by these demons because I am not putting in the time to fight back and improve my seduction skills. It is a matter of me not being able to find meaning in the battle against these insecurities. And this makes me lose motivation.

I suppose then that it is a good thing that I always occasionally think about this journal and the other people who are watching me on this board. I actually miss ranting like I am right now on this journal.

If the fight has to be slow and bitter, so be it. I believe in my ability to take a happy and loving stance towards all the overwhelming challenges that have yet to present themselves. Once again recall the quote from Dostoevski from the book "Man's Search for Meaning" recommended by Rob. The only thing I dread: To not be worthy of my suffering.


I am currently focusing on work and school and career, and that has made me place seduction in the backseat.


In terms of goals, since I started this journal 5 months ago, I said that I would try to make myself into the man that Chase talks about in "How To Make Girls Chase". I certainly am not that man now and am quite far away from it.

I have very recently also been straying from the teachings of HTMGC and focusing more on advice from articles by Ricardus, Chase, and Alek. At least, I don't recall seeing so much of sexual framing in HTMGC.


Always getting stronger,
Y

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Another update

Three more first dates:

020321 FR: This girl was also quite innocent. She's 23. She said that she had sex with this one guy who was in a relationship with her for 2+ years and then the guy changed his mind about her and left and this hurt her. Tried to reframe this but it seemed that she had internal frames.​

​

180321 FR: This girl was not complying with any deep-diving attempts and quite unattractive. She was probably looking for a boyfriend. She's 25.​

​

290321 FR++: This girl was super innocent. She said she's never kissed a guy before. She's 20. I actually believe her. Brought her to the back seat of my car and she definitely had some objection but she didn't verbalize it. I think I gave up too early on this one. But she wasn't complying when I tried to escalate. At some point, I just led her out of the car and sent her off. Perhaps I should be setting more non-judgemental frames.​

Number of approaches since last update:
21+15+16+20+28=100
Total approach numbers: 1433+100 = 1533

It's been a year since I started going out to Daygame consistently.
So in total I've gone on 20 first dates from cold approach in total. All of these I arranged by getting their phone numbers and simply texting them very little.
And 1 first date from a girl from social circle.
Brought 7 of these girls to the back seat of my car. Only kissed 5 of these girls. Out of these I only had 3 significant physical escalations that actually felt like they could have gone somewhere.


Over the past 2-3 months, I've only been going out once a week to daygame for 2-hour long outings. Considering that I still went on 3 dates in March, it's actually not that bad. This slow learning curve is unfortunately going to have to carry on for a long time. I imagine that it will carry on for the next 12 months at the very minimum. I do feel that it will be a long time before I manage to lose my virginity.

After not having posted an update for 1.5 months, I already feel the motivation to keep myself accountable on this board starting to weaken. In which case, I have seen the importance of coming back to this board to update my journal without fail every 1-2 months and write field reports if another time comes when I get close enough that I would like to document it.


Solutions and things to try:

1. Deleted my Tinder/OKC/Bumble account to do a reset. Only have 3 decent photos right now and 2 of them are portrait and one of them is in landscape format. In which case, better go and get more photos. Will experiment with creating a Bumble first then OKC. I've read on SwipeHelper that Tinder has some very strict rules according to how they categorise you and I'm probably carrying a seriously low score on Tinder so I'll wait for 3 months for them to wipe my data. OKC seems to mainly display square photos so my current photos are probably not going to look good on OKC we'll see. Not sure if Bumble has the same square photo requirements as OKC.
2. In terms of cold apporach, I've actually been approaching a lot of girls who have their boyfriend in the vicinity. Am consistently trying new places to daygame. Will try to go to a new place every week. It's probably worth it to travel far to find a place where it's really good to meet girls. Have been getting so many boyfriend objections I'm sick of it. Will find a place where more single girls frequent.
3. The other solution to the boyfriend problem is probably approaching girls who are with friends. Man that's not going to be easy. But definitely worth a shot.
4. Another site that I may try is Adult Friend Finder. This will more or less just be luck. But if I can get leads from there, it would be helpful. I wouldn't mind paying for the service.

One thing I've realized is that I really like doing cold approach and PU because it means I do not have to text girls very much. Probably would have to text girls a lot more if I met them on dating apps. I don't like to text much in general and I find that it really distracts me from schoolwork and learning.


Things I've learnt since my last update:

1. Not much in terms of pick up skills. Did get some opportunities to try deep-diving and breaking the touch barrier.
2. Scouted some backup logistics that I can drive my dates to, though I'm not sure how useful they will be. Generally if I fail at escalating the first time in the back seat of my car I don't think I can bring a girl elsewhere and escalate again. But will see where this goes.
3. I've grown into a very positive person. It's actually quite pleasing to able to think as positively as I do right now. Because of all the resources that Mr. Rob has recommended, I've learnt to have a lot more control over my emotions. There are certainly times when I feel sad but they no longer have so much of an effect on me.

I've been working on school and getting my career on track so I haven't been putting time into seduction.

I do not doubt that I will eventually lose my virginity and get good with women. I am actually having the feeling that I am closer to success than I actually feel I am. Sure, it is really important to get my career on track, but once that's done, I can get back to learning seduction more seriously, and things will get better faster than I expect. I hope...


Until next time,
Y

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Lately I've been reading Lofty's journal, at least the first 2-3 pages of it, and it honestly is quite hope-inspiring.

I wanted to post some transcribed recordings of approaches on the field reports board. But I've just been doing too few approaches over the past few weeks for me to get any dates at all. Been focussing quite a bit on work and school.

When I did go out again, about a week ago, I realised that I did not have a good command of day game skills. AA was getting back to me, and I just have not been having enough practice. I wanted to record 5 sets to post on the field reports board.
Even though I did manage to do 5 approaches since deciding to post the recordings of 5 sets. Some of these sets have been so badly done that I am too embarassed to post them on the field reports board. It will be a waste of people's time to have them read it.

Grand Pooba made a post some time ago about not being able to focus on 2 things in your life at the same time. You either choose seduction, or making money. I am coming to agree with what he said. It seems difficult to be making any improvement whatsoever in seduction.

In response, I am going to stop using dating apps entirely, and even stop thinking about trying to pull girls to my car. It just happens so infrequently that I might as well not waste the time thinking about getting private with girls for now. I am simply going to keep updating this journal and maintain some kind of approaching pattern over the next months and couple of years until I can financially support myself.

It is quite pride-inducing to feel like a lesser version of myself whenever there becomes a significant period of time where I have not approached and had a conversation with a girl that I do not know.
This is the extent to which I view daygame as part of my life and character.


Directions to take for the near future:
1. Do some studying and planning for daygame. I believe that I will not be having sex within the next few years. I also believe that sex is not a goal that I can reasonably aim for with my current school and work schedule. However, with the limited time I have and the fact that I do enjoy approaching to challenge myself and remind myself of the greater person I will become, it makes sense to work on some smaller goals like working on specific fundamentals, challenge myself to approach in tougher scenarios, or simply increasing the rate at which I can hook girls (currently, close to 0%). These shouldn't be that hard to do and it will help me create meaning in my life.

2. Keep focussing on some of the recreational hobbies that I have built over the past 6-9 months. These are a long-term investment and getting better at building a social life now will only help me with women in the future.

Will make another post within the next few weeks regarding the goals that I have drawn up for myself


Keep killing it guys!
Y

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Another post is in order.

Looking back at my previous post, in terms of drawing up small goals for myself, I have not produced super concrete results-based goals.

However, I have shifted my focus to and taken note of certain important pointers with respect to where I am in game:

1. Made a realization of what my greatest sticking point currently is, and how I may go about fixing it
2. In trying to draw up goals for myself over the past few weeks, I have noticed a couple of mindset problems
3. I have also come up with some form of a better plan for daygame

1. My greatest sticking point has been, since September last year, and still is . . . not being able to open girls consistently.

Why in the world have I not been viewing this as a problem over the past 5-6(?) months?
Because of luck.
One of the most affecting pieces of advice in "How To Make Girls Chase" for me has been:
Always try to venture as deep into the process of seduction as possible. Don't just work on opening/hooking/investment/whatever/. . .
I have found that this piece of advice is more helpful when you mass approach than when you trying to focus on getting a specific part of your process better.
I think that I have just been quite lucky over the past year that girls went on dates with me and even came into my car even though my skills have simply not been up to standard.

The truth is, that until now I still am not able to open girls consistently and I do not even know the ratio at which I get blown off within 30 seconds of opening. The ratio is probably more than 50%.
Most of my interactions do not last longer than 2 minutes.
Because 1 out of every 80-100 (? not really sure at all) girls goes on a date with me, I have thought that I am making progress and there is nothing to worry about.
I have come to realize that this is a bad comfort zone.

So what? Well ...
I'm not saying that the above advice from Chase was bad for me.
But my circumstances are not so conducive to going out and mass approaching and hopefully finding some receptive girl that likes me so much that she is willing to forgive my inexperience/lack of skill. This strategy for losing my V-card and increasing my seduction skills is not the path that I want to take.
Therefore, a new goal that I have for myself is:

Get to a point where I am sure that 50% of the interactions that I am having with women last longer than 2 minutes.

I am not going to ditch the advice to venture as deep into the process of seduction as possible.
The two pieces of advice are not mutually exclusive.
I am shifting my focus to deal with the problem I have with opening. But whenever possible, I will always believe that I can go all the way.
Having the intent to go all the way will be necessary to do good opening as well.
If I think that my interaction is only going to last 3-4 minutes, I will lack the motivation to really try to hook her/get investment/etc . . .

I am leaning towards the direction of learning influence game (i.e. having a strong control over the seduction process) out of the 3 schools of seduction . In my life and even in most of the seduction literature that I have read until recently, I was always doing and believing in volume game. All the people I have read on and respected in my real life and on this board until quite recently does some kind of volume game.
Only recently did I start reading more of Bacchus' and Lofty's posts and realize that influence/control game is what I would prefer.

I am a guy who spends a much larger portion of his life on things other than seduction. I am quite prepared to still be retaining my V-card by September 2023 or December 2023 (the estimated end of my university term).
That is a long time from now. But I need to do things this way because . . . until I can fully support myself financially . . . I will never be able to fully commit to being a student of seduction, or for that matter . . . anything else in my life that I strongly believe in.

I decided that it wouldn't mean very much to me if I kept going out and mass approaching . . . and somewhere between now and 2 years later, I luckily lost my V-card, but then am still stuck with the fact that I can't even open girls consistently.
By the end of the 2 years, I want to be able to do a significant number of things consistently. I don't need to bed girls consistently. Not exactly desperate to put too much pressure on myself. But I don't want to be just luck.



2. Mindset problems

I am uncomfortable with my sexuality and role as a seducer
This is most disadvantageous when I am confronted with situations where I have the opportunity approach a girl albeit with a lot of people in the vicinity. I have always had this fear of people around me judging me and most of the time, this makes me back out of doing the approach. With the post from Watts that I recently read, I think that I now fully understand exactly why I am having this fear.
This is not going to go away overnight or anytime soon. But I will keep this in mind and deal with it eventually.

My focus on building my social life is actually another bad comfort zone
The likelihood that I meet really good friends in social circles that I have access to in my city is very low. On top of that, I have the feeling that I will be moving cities a lot over the course of the next 4-5 years. The means that a lot of the investment that I make in social circles, if I do spend a lot of time in any, currently there's only one, will not bring a lot of benefits in the long term.
In any case, seduction should be taking the highest priority. I am currently actually spending more time socializing than learning about seduction every week.
What the hell is going on here? In some sense it is forgivable because I am always locked up in my room during working hours and not getting any socializing feels terrible because my work can sometimes be demanding.
Honestly, in terms of how much I am lacking in both my social life and seduction, it's about the same. I am really quite unwealthy in both these areas. But even though I no longer have good friends because they are gone, I have had good friends in the past, and I am confident that I will be able to find new good friends again.
On the other hand, I am a virgin, I have had virtually no sexual experience. I have never managed to take a piece of clothing off of a girl.

It is okay to be spending some time every week socializing and I believe that it is quite necessary. However, I absolutely should not be spending more time on socializing than seduction. I have thought about the idea and and cannot accept it. I will have to start implementing this onward from today.


3. A better plan for daygame

Previously, for the past 3-4 months, I have only been going on outings at 8-10pm on Friday/Saturday nights. This has certainly limited the crowds which I have been able to access.
I have decided for the next 1-2 months to try going out on Saturdays and Sundays at the 4-7pm timing or do some approaches during the after -work rush-hour on weekdays at 6-730pm.
This will hopefully help me to learn more and acquire more broad experiences.

I have come up with a simple 3 point plan for deciding whether I want to do an approach. I am not going to post it here. But it is a lot more simple than some of the plans that I have come up with in the past and prevents me from thinking too much.

Given my new goal of reaching a 50% success rate with opening, I have also started reading on using RPOs from this thread and Bacchus' article and meeting smooth from Bacchus's article and Gun's article . I will be experimenting with some of these techniques over the next few weeks.
I did experiment with the process of setting up the 'smooth meet' for a couple of hours on Sunday during an outing in which I failed to use to the technique to get girls to look me first when I am within opening range.
I will keep trying to get better at this and perhaps post some clarifications on the beginner's board.

Among other things I need to do is figure out the best locations for meeting smooth, and write out more reality pace openers for different day game locations.

I have also considered buying Seduction MMA and will probably make the purchase soon. I have to open my eyes and see what this 3 keys technique really is for myself, especially after seeing Lofty's success with the technique.

In terms of measuring the amount of work that I put into day game, I am still going to use hours to measure rather than results or number of approaches. I cannot have day game consuming too much of my time for now when I am still building up to financial freedom.
I will trust in myself to make reasonably good use of the time that I set aside for daygame.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

My country has entered a period of tighter restrictions for about a month.

I have been making excuses for myself to not approach for about an entire month. It is time to rebuild some kind of a daygame schedule. And go right back to the beginner mindset where I force myself to do a pre-specified number of approaches before I allow myself to return home. Tighter restrictions are not a reason to stop approaching.

For more than a month, I have been struggling with PayPal to purchase Seduction MMA. And the issue still has not yet come to a resolution.

PayPal still has not set up my account to do transactions properly. I will not give up on this and will continue to chase PayPal to get the whole
thing set up and purchase seduction MMA.

Alongside, I have been busy with preparations to move to a different city. I realised for the first time how time-consuming it is to move
to a different city regardless of what it is you do there. Aside from being a tourist.

I have also been busy with some new work that I managed to find which is quite helpful to building my career.

I definitely have not been putting in the required time to work on seduction.

At the same time, I am glad to have been learning a lot of hard life lessons recently and know that my life will probably only get better as time passes.

Definitely going to keep improving myself and will send an update once I have moved to my new location.

Cheers,
Y


Edit 020821 :

Over the past 1.5 months, I realized that had some kind of strong under-the-surface bitterness towards women. Whenever I interacted with my female friends, I never let it show, and I always showed consideration and didn't act unfairly towards them. But not uncommonly during my work or daily routine I would have some fleeting thought about how women are lucky that they don't have to do the work men do, or get annoyed whenever I get reminded (by some online comment/other stimulus) that beautiful girls have it good etc etc (I could go on forever about this).

So I read the bitterness article by Chase again and that helped quite a bit. It has reminded me that a lot of the reason I am not succeeding with women is because I choose to spend more of my time on other things right now. I looked at my game honestly again and agree that it is not up to standard.

Another thing the article reminded me of is that the female friends that I have right now who are girls are also quite bitter about men. Like Chase said in his article, women can sense when you have your walls up against them. Well, at least for me, I as a guy can also sense when the women who are around me have their walls up against me. I guess what this means is that I just have to find warmer and less bitter female friends.

In my most recent outing yesterday, which was the first time that I actually approached many girls in an outing in almost a month (set a rule that I would not go home until I did 10 approaches). I for some reason strangely felt a lot more relaxed about the way I walked and the way my mind looked at things. It was almost meditative. I didn't make any pre-outing preparations at all. There was some huge approach anxiety when I approached some stationary girl at a crowded red light and I looked like an idiot but I recovered from that after 4-5 minutes.

Will keep making progress.