Another pua commits' suicide Johnny Berba

[DonGately]

If you can't fix yourself on the inside [pref with the help of a licensed psychologist, not all who market themselves as 'therapists' are] then what you do on the outside: laying girls, making millions, driving fancy cars, being the 'cool guy' in your group, will matter in the end.

 

[isildur1]

If you can't fix yourself on the inside [pref with the help of a licensed psychologist, not all who market themselves as 'therapists' are] then what you do on the outside: laying girls, making millions, driving fancy cars, being the 'cool guy' in your group, will matter in the end.

Berba never even seemed like a “cool guy “ on the outside either. I saw him in 2018 he was poorly dressed , poorly shaven coaching clients who simply didn’t know any better

but the fact that he was “scruffy” , had a history of prostitute, porn addiction , a traumatising childhood etc. makes me believe it was part of his appeal in garnering fresh clients - it was his form of relatability.

which is why the likes of he and yad were able to get clients for so long. Losers were able to attract other losers as clients- speaking to his clients a lot of them had the same problems as berba did growing up - anxiety , mental health issues and porn addiction.

unfortunately despite his years of life coaching he was never able to fix his own problems himself- which is quite hypocritical of the self help or men’s self development industry as a whole. Men with alot of problems themselves trying to coach other men to get out of their own problems when it was clear to see after at first glance this guy had a tonne of mental issues. You didn’t have to be a psychology expert to work that out about him.

he seemingly took his development even too far . Going the gym- he lost a lot of weight then became extremely skinny - he had financial problems he was a working class guy who went from post man to life coach which in of itself is a strange career move

he was lauded as a hero by a lot of his ex business partners like “that anxiety guy” but I can’t help but thinking if it was all just watching an autistic man with mental illnesses just getting blown out in Covent Garden a true celebration of bravery or just really watching someone helplessly in demise whilst trying to socialise while none of his wingmen or friends seemed to be aware of the obvious elephants in the room

 

[isildur1]

I'm thinking a lot of this has to do with a lack of emotional indiependence.

i think in the case of johnny berba he was sometimes too independent - he didnt have the support mechanism that other dating coaches had coming from a working class family in Ireland

if you look at other coaches the majority of them were from middle - upper class backgrounds and had some support mechanism behind them

lets take a few examples

James Tusk - middle/upper class - parents were business people in Hong Kong
James Marshall / Liam Mcrae - Middle Class Australians
Robbie Kramer- Middle Class American- Dad was a doctor
Tom Torero- Oxford educated ,
Alex Leon-Middle Class seemingly got free business class flights from his brother working for luxury airlines
Paul Janka- Harvard Educated living in New York , clearly from at least at middle class background

johnny berba was working class kid from Ireland , faced a lot of abuse as a kid and continuos mental health problems - he had no safety net to land on and was essentially a sitting duck- even in 2018 when he was coaching my wingmen he was hospitalised for mental breakdowns but kept on taking on new clients without considering the irony of being a "life coach" when his life plain and simply sucked. You could tell just at a glance by looking at him back then that things weren't going well .

So when scamvid hit and most dating coaches lost the ability to coach and the whole metoo movement started and youtube views for pickup plummeted obviously it would hit the poorest and most vulnerable coaches. He had no family to fall back on , seemingly had no women either and was left astray in London with tax debts and financial issues that most likely resulted from his lack of clients during covid and loss of income that would have resulted from most pua channels being shadow ban in light of the bbc anti pua documentary in the early 2020s

he was in a much weaker and vulnerable position compared to 99 percent of coaches and for him moving on from pickup was always going to be difficult considering he was a postman prior to this ( i mean post man turned lifecoach is not exactly the most inspiring cv )

maybe he was too naive to begin with- if youre going to be a dating coach you should expect some media backlash to come your way and be financially prepared for it- seemingly he had nothing if shit hit the fan and his mental health problems seemed to plague the entirety of his coaching career - he was really up against it compared to the majority you see and sadly it took a bad ending.

Same could be argued for Torero- no plan b if coaching went wrong and when the danya hajjaji article was published it probably pushed him on the edge - i imagine loss of income and social isolation played a part- he was essentially traveling around europe alone for a year after covid seemingly with no support group or no one to keep track of him

 

[isildur1]

From that PUA's on that list, from memory I recall in the book The Game that Mystery was depressed due to a breakup but haven't read that book in like 15 years so I don't remember much. Did he still struggle with depression after that?

I'm curious if Sinn ever disclosed how he overcame his depression because I remember him mentioning in a video how getting laid actually made his depression worse. I wonder if he ever fixed it and what did he have to do to overcome it.

I wonder what the lives of all the old school PUA gurus who have vanished from the internet have gone to. A lot of these dudes are nowhere to be found.

mystery went rogue after his divorce apparently and looking him visually now he doesnt look great - he lost his children in the divorce settlement and recently lost his sister and mother - thats alot for one man to take.

In recent interviews he looks a shadow of himself but again im not sure if he ever had the ability or skillset to cultivate good long lasting relationships which i think is a different skill from pua all together

 

[AspiringStoic]

@isildur1

PUA was not started by cool guys who were super sucessful with women who just one day started thinking deeply about why they are so successful and decided that they must share this knowledge with everyone.

Like seriously wtf??

Of course it was started by misfits and "losers" in regards to socializing and dating who decided to solve their lack of success with women thing and share it with others who struggled in this area.

To go around calling Yad and Mystery and any of the early guys out as "losers" and sit here and pass judgement on them is ridiculous. People who came after stood on the shoulders of the guys who pioneered this shit. Just like scientists today stand on the shoulders of scientists who came before them and the work they did.

Just because the earlier ones had not figured out everything is no reason to go around badmouthing them when none of this would have existed if not for them.

So please have some perspective and there is no need to go around passing judgment because one came into a field decades after other guys and then contributed a few blog articles.

 

[Atlas IV]

Yeah can we let this thread die please. It's depressing... and not representative of PUA today. No need to hyper focus on the personal lives of guys of the old community who crashed out.