This response is for both
@aquapura001 and
@Gaturro.
@aquapura001, for the two scenarios you presented, I wouldn't necessarily consider them to be inappropriate per se, just ones that require a greater degree of commitment and audacity to pull off successfully. The latter might be a 50/50 where she's noticed that you're about to approach and is making an effort to avoid you (try not to get noticed until you're ready to approach), but it's also just as likely that it's coincidental and that you're psyching yourself out. In either case, if you find yourself moving to approach while you're in an active approach window, yet you fail to follow through, it can often be creepier than simply completing the approach. If
creepiness can be boiled down to uncertainty, then you'd bode well to dispel uncertainty in this situation. Don't hide the banana - if she notices that you're gonna approach, lean into it and commit. She'll act accordingly.
For higher-stakes
"impossible" approaches, ranging from girls who are sitting down, to
girls who are eating alone, to
girls who are on the phone, to girls who are with their families, etc, you'll just have to call an audible on many of these situations, and rightly so. Listening to your natural instincts and being socially calibrated doesn't make you a beta. And sometimes waiting for just two seconds can legitimately turn an "impossible" approach into an easy lay-up, but as we as daygamers know, time is of the essence, you might literally only have those two seconds to approach, if not less.
If that's the case, then as
@Will_V talked about in a
recent thread, in daygame approach situations where you have no prior social context that'll "allow" you to approach, you must create one. With "impossible" approaches,
the most robust frame here is thus: "You're so attractive that I absolutely HAD to approach, despite the unfavorable circumstance." You don't have to, the approach will often speak for itself, but can help to acknowledge the unconventional nature of the approach directly - "excuse me, I know this may be unusual, but you're
gorgeous and I just
had to come and talk to you."
Seduction is sloppy, it's not a perfect art form; what works, works, and you'll be happily surprised at what does.
Executed correctly, confidently with unabashed sincerity and passion, the sheer audacity of the approach is likely to win her over. Girls who are with friends or family will often be even more won over than the girl herself, and will wing you on the spot, women especially. Hell, I've had bystanders literally cheer when I've pulled off an "impossible" approach. It is indeed worthy of praise: a man throwing all caution to the wind, just to get a chance to know a woman who enchanted him so much so that the mere opportunity was worth taking the risk. Is there anything more romantic?
That being said, I cannot stress this enough.
You have to bring everything you've got to the table. This is really not an approach you can half-ass.
As stated by @Will_V, "When you are in highly energized, intentful state that nonetheless is calm, she feels the potential energy pointed at her like a cock, and there is nothing that validates a woman more than an attractive man who becomes electrified in her presence, she wants to feel it all released into her body. But a man who is going through the motions does not offer her that kind of experience, only the possibility that he will go through the motions of intimacy, which is something no girl in history has ever wanted."
It's difficult and unwieldy task. You have to deliver the opener with utmost confidence in highly unfavorable circumstances, all while withstanding a tremendous amount of approach anxiety. Keep in mind that polarizing openers are inherently high-risk high-reward. Something smoother may generate more consistent results, but again, sometimes that option isn't always available to us. You're just gonna have to accept the risks, it certainly won't go the way you want it to every time, but getting blown out... but that's an ever-present risk you'll face on any other day. If it gets hot and you get pressed, don't trip, just bow out and make a graceful exit. There's nothing wrong with talking to strangers, and on a more practical level it's best not to show fear as sharks will smell blood in the water and pounce. But this is highly unlikely, most people don't want problems. So long as you don't jeopardize her reputation, you should be alright. Leave room for Jesus when you're opening.
Story time.
It's a quiet spring evening and I'm at work cleaning up the (juice) bar with my coworker. It's unusually quiet - there's not a single customer in the store. The entrance doors fly open, breaking the silence. In walks in two women, one young 20-something and one middle-aged woman.
As soon as I saw this girl the words just spilled from my mouth automatically: "Oh my god." This girl was so fine it almost hurt. Cute face, hazel eyes, jet-black hair, nice smile that gave her a light and buoyant energy. And her ass bro... never in my life had I seen a Persian woman built like that. Her proportions were so perfectly outrageous, I almost couldn't believe it. But being as few things in this world can stir the soul of an ethnic man like an hourglass figure, I knew it was unmistakable - her ass was the real thing. She walks up to the counter, I take her order with my hospitality persona, not letting on the fact that internally I'm in shambles. She leave to sit outside on the patio and wait for her order, and in this moment my resolve solidifies.
I just had to approach. I thought to myself, my boss and my coworker can wait. These customers can too. And bystanders can either enjoy the show or mind their own business. As for who I'm assuming is her mom? I'm sure she'll be happy to witness the moment I became her son-in-law in real time.
I tell my coworker I'm going in and I abandon my post to do the deed. I walk up directly to the table, glancing first at HBPersian before asking her mom "Is this your daughter?" She nods yes. "Well then you've blessed the hell out of her, your daughter is so cute and I just
had to say hello. Is she single?" HBPersian bursts out giggling and her mom smiles at me, telling me that yes, she is indeed single. I grin with an air of mischief while awaiting a response from HBPersian. She's caught in another giggling fit so I tell her "I can turn around, give you a breather...", turning my back to her playfully while looking at her over my shoulder. "Oh my god... Mom, what do you think?" Mom laughs and tells her its up to her to decide. HBPersian looks up at me and we banter for just a moment, I find out she goes to a sister university upstate and that she's in town visiting family for the weekend. I take her number, making my exit to go back to work with the understanding that I probably wouldn't see her again.
I was still a n00b, and this approach was way above my current level at the time. I had never attempted something like this prior either, but it went well nonetheless. It's been years and I still look back at this memory fondly. Not everything has to be about the outcome, the experience was satisfying in of itself.
There is just one situation I couldn’t handle yesterday. I saw a group of 5 beautiful girls sitting on a table outside of a Starbucks. There were like 20 empty tables around so it didn’t make sense for me to approach. How would you guys handle that??
So to answer your question
@Gaturro... What I've done successfully in the past, and what I'd still do today if I found myself in this sort of situation, is choose the girl I liked the best, walk up to the group, and go direct - that is, through her friends. First I pre-open by acknowledging the group with a "how y'all doing today?", something along those lines. After getting a response I announce the reason behind my approach, addressing everyone except my girl: "Your friend..." *it is here I turn smoothly to address my girl by looking directly in her eyes, letting my gaze flit down to check her out, then back up, from which I then break by bringing my attention back to the group at large* "...is stunning."
From here my next move would be context dependent. If I can move her and isolate then I'll ask the group if I can borrow her for a moment. In your example she's sitting down so maybe I'd switch it up, but in any case I'd be doing my best to get in and get out. A move like this will put a lot of social pressure on your girl to act, so it'd be best to make yourself scarce and give her time to process and leave room for her to fantasize.
