Went out solo. Grabbed a jack and coke and chilled dancing for a little bit.
Opened an older woman whose friend was dancing enthusiastically to warm myself up -
B: "She has the best energy out of everyone here - I love it"
I wasn't attracted to them, wanted to just build some momentum.
Three set on dancefloor - one looking around with a bored look on her face. I open her.
B: "You look like you're having the best time"
Her friends laugh. I keep engaging - I tell them that I need company since my "friend" is running late and I don't want to seem like a loser (jokingly). One in the middle missed the joke (she was from Denmark so perhaps didn't understand" and said that she was out the last two weekends solo. I talked to her briefly about how much guts it takes to go out and that I've done it before. Sensed disinterest, engaged the third friend briefly but again wasn't getting much. Stepped back to dance. Soon after the three left but the one who had gone out solo as she walked past told me "we are heading to another bar. Bye!"
Two set near the toilets downstairs as I was heading there. One cute Asian chick and a hot Sri Lankan looking one. Both look bored. Opened complimenting on her necklace.
B: "I love the necklace. It's the second best one I've seen all night".
HBs: "Oh yeah, which is the best?"
I point to my dog tag "This one". Got into a long conversation - I hate that I don't remember the details of what I talked about but they weren't fans of the place - hated the music. I really wasn't getting much investment from them at all - felt I was bringing energy but they were indifferent with nothing hitting. After 5-10 minutes they said they were heading the check the music upstairs and without so much as acknowledging me left.
Girl on corner of dancefloor.
B: "Damn it, how could you?".
HB: "How could I what?".
B: "I wanted this corner, this is the best corner in the entire place"
She starts to play along but still not much*
B: "I tried standing at the other corner over there and after two hours was like "this is shit"
My delivery was funny and she laughed a bit at this but wasn't giving much back. A dude comes while were talking - a friend of hers. I assume it's a boyfriend but he smiles, greets me and leaves".
B: "I'm going to get a drink but I'm going to keep and eye on you in this corner. I might have to fight you for it like Gandalf fighting the balrog in lord of the rings".
Again, my tone was one where I was clearly joking. Strong voice, clear tonality.
She gave a polite smile but didn't say anything. Indifference. I left.
Girl holding two drinks with a group of four guys around.
B: "Those two are for you aren't they. I knew it"
HB: "Noo haha they're not"
B: "I don't believe it. As soon as I saw you I knew - "she going to have two, then another two, then another two. I'll have to watch out for you"
I thought it was clear I was joking but she said "Hey!" - and slightly hurt. I laughed - "I'm only joking". She smiled but went and gave the drink to one of the dudes and they started chatting. I saw them throughout the night together with close comfortable body language - I assumed they were together.
Two girls at bar - blondies, look very young.
B: "Wow, you girls are going hard"
HBs: "What do you mean?"
B: "I know what you're doing. You're right up at the bar with your drinks. You're going to finish them, then immediately order another round, then another" (similar to what I said to the other girl"
They both lit up a bit and started laughing.
HBs: "Haha no we're just waiting for our friends."
Their two dude friends came soon after and they went off with them.
Switched bars, ran into two other dudes I knew in the line - they had poorer fundamentals than I do (this'll be important later).
When I entered I saw this tall sexy busty blonde walking through the dancefloor. I got excited about her - she went to a circle of friends and started dancing enthusiastically with them. Made note to engage her later.
Upstairs talking to the dudes, there was a hot two set sitting down. Dudes dared me to approach - I did.
*walking past them* *look over shoulder*
B: "You two look like the two coolest girls in this club"
They were surprisingly open.
HBs: "Oh yeah, what makes you say that"
B: "Just the overall vibe, getting boss bitch energy"
We started chatting some more. I'm busting on them when they tell me they feel old (22 and 23).
B: "Yeah, surprised you guys didn't bring your walking sticks with you. Those stairs are rough" with a smile.
They're busting me saying that they don't believe I came out with friends.
B: "Yeah, you guys are right. I have no friends. You guys are the first people I've ever talked to in my life"
They guessed I was 25. When I told them the truth (30) the one on the left (L) looked shocked. She was the hotter one - she was light skinned but exotic looking - almost greek. Found out she was half white half indian, which blew my mind. Some other dude comes and sits next to the one on the right. Don't know what he's saying but the one on the right starts entertaining him.
I'm still talking with L, then sit down with her. Don't sexualize that well, but do touch her lightly (my touch is still weak). She's engaged in the convo, I make her laugh. But at some point R gives her a look and she tells me
"R gave me the sign, that dude is being weird. I'm going to help her"
She turns her attention to the dude, they both start busting on him saying they're cops. I join in while busting on them some more.
B: "Yeah, they actually are, this one (to L) was a bit too trigger happy though so she got kicked out of the academy".
L: "Yeah, I just issue speeding fines now".
At this point, I felt like I was wasting my time a bit. I told L I was getting a drink and was going to find my friends. She didn't seem too concerned. All up I'd probably been talking to them for 15 minutes. I got her instagram and left. Not enough sexualising to isolate and I felt awkward being there while they just tore into this dude.
Later on the dance floor saw this dude approaching them but get blown out. I walked past and reengaged. They both smiled - R said
R: "Hey! Can you keep us away from that creepy dude? *pointing to the dude that approached them*
I teased some more
B: "Is that all I am to you - a security guard? Sheesh"
I asked them what happened to their "mate" upstairs, the one R was talking to when I was there.
R: "Yeah, that dude was so creepy"
I soon saw my friend and told the girls "Hey! I found my mate." Remember earlier when I said they had poorer fundamentals. Well, they took a look at him - he was hovering there a bit awkwardly, dressed with a completely different style to me (daggy, whereas I was dressed more fashionably). They didn't believe me.
L: "I don't believe you. That's not your friend. You just picked some random dude out!"
I then started saying "No, I actually know him. He's S. He's an incredible guitarist, performed the other day"
But they didn't believe me and looked suspicious. It's like they didn't trust me anymore - they then walked away. I later found out L blocked me on insta.
Me and S went out to the smokers for a bit and chatted about what happened. He then said he was going to do one more approach before leaving. So we headed back towards the dancefloor when lo and behold! The tall busty sexy blonde that I'd seen earlier was just standing at a table all by herself. It was the perfect opportunity! But - I was a split second too slow as S went in. My heart sunk. Even more when they started chatting for like 10 minutes after that. Not going to lie, I started getting really envious "ah, that could have been me talking to her. Damn it, she's so sexy" And secretly hoping it wouldn't work out. Terrible mindset I know but I couldn't help it. At this point it was clouding my mind and I couldn't approach anyone else. Again, terrible.
10 minutes later, I then see her dancing animatedly with her friends and S is nowhere to be found. You would think after what happened I'd at least go in and try my shot right? No. I pussy out. "Ah, she's not outside by the table now. She's dancing with the friends, I'm not going in now, it'll be too forced" Total pussy ass bitch.
Soon after, she slings her handback on and walks out with her friends. And I felt extreme shame. Not only had I hoped S would blow it which was terrible in and of itself, but that even when it did, I couldn't even grab my balls and go for her, a chick I found super sexy.
This weighed on my mind for ages.
Approach 8 (Amogged)
Found out S was upstairs again. Went up, chatted. He told me the convo started off strong but then got platonic (they were talking about Game of Thrones by the end) and then the blonde suddenly said "I have to find my friends" and went back to them. This made me more depressed. This chick was clearly open to meeting guys and I could have been that guy but pussied out.
I spotted a bored chick on her own. S told me to go for her but that he was leaving.
B: "You look like you're having the best time out of everyone here"
H: "I don't like the music"
We chat for a bit, she still seems a bit bored but is responding at least.
Then, some dude with glasses and like five rings on each finger comes in. He comes in and starts chatting to the girl and me. I'm cautious and weary. But the thing is, he's engaging her. She seemed more into him - looking at his rings
H: "I like your rings, where did you get them?"
I attempted to get back control of the conversation at points but her attention was purely on him. I pussied out again and didn't have the balls to tell the dude that we were having a convo. Honestly, the reason I didn't have the balls is because I felt embarrassed saying it as our conversation wasn't that interesting anyway and she was enjoying this one more.
I pussied out - I didn't just slink away - I put my hand on her shoulder, interrupting their conversation to tell her I was going to get a drink. Wanted to gauge her response. She just said "ok" and went back to talking to the dude.
As I'm waiting for a drink, in the corner of my eye I see her walking away from the dude. He comes close and I then tell him straight up it wasn't cool.
AMOG: "Oh man, I'm sorry! I'm spacing. I didn't realize. I'm just vibing. I'll buy you a drink"
And he did. He asked for my insta and I gave it to him.
I later found out that he's in one of the facebook pickup groups I'm in. Not only that, but I actually recognized him as he made some posts a while back and from what he had posted, he was very successful.
I'm almost certain he was playing dumb and knew exactly what he was doing.
After this I left.
I had a friends birthday Sat, but we went out. I was mainly with them so didn't approach, but later on in the night there was a two set of hot young standoffish looking girls sitting down.
I don't remember exactly how I opened but I fumbled over my words a little bit at the start. I thought I was done for when this happened and they'd think I was weird but they were still happy to talk. The one on the left didn't show overt signs of interest but I suspect she was interested. She started asking me about my drink cup (It was a cocktail that came in a special tribal looking glass) and if the cocktail was nice. I offered to have her taste it but she said it was ok. The one on the right was engaging less, she was sneaking glances at L but for the most part was letting us just talk.
I found out they were only here until Monday (it was Saturday) as they were travelling from interstate. To make my intentions a bit clearer I told her "it's a shame you're leaving on Monday. I would have been all over you" with a smile and but my arm around her pulling her in close. This was while R was there in plain site and she didn't protest or anything, just went along with it. Not going to lie, doing this scared me initially but I'm surprised there was no negative reaction.
They asked for good recommendations for places to go, but that they weren't big clubbers. I told them we were going to dance but gave a list of places to check out.
At some point, my friend (the birthday boy) came by to engage the friend. I've mentioned him in the journal before - he has good game, but cannot approach sober. Only when he drinks.
He was there for a while when R went to the bathroom - before she left she asked L "are you all good?" and L said she was. When R came back, my friend stayed for a bit then bailed. I felt the vibe starting to die a bit and I was not really sure how to move things forward. I felt I had overstayed my welcome and as soon as I was feeling this, L said "it was nice to meet you" which came right as I was going to say "I'm going to head back to my friends. Great to meet you" I got her instagram and she followed me back. Found out from her insta that she was 18 and yeah, hot as fuck.
I spent the remainder of the night just chilling talking at the party. My mate told me he was trying to distract the friend but she had a boyfriend also he sensed that she didn't want anything to do with him. I told him that I suspected my chick liked me which is why R was happy to let us talk but was being a bit weary with her eye on us instead, which is why he wasn't engaging her.
I went to a festival Sunday but didn't do many approaches at all, mainly dancing and vibing with mates. I don't know, I think I felt a bit fatigued. I definitely could have summoned more courage to do more...
However, there was one opportunity that I'm beating myself up about.
There was a two set in front of me dancing. The one I wanted was short and sexy (S) - she had camo pants on and hoop earrings.
I didn't approach right away - I took my time and thought of a funny opener then went in close, while they were both facing eachother in front of me (so their backs weren't fully to me)
B: "Hey, I was so confused for a second"
B: "I thought you had no legs and were just floating there, and I was like "what the hell is going on? But then I realized you were wearing camo pants"
They both burst out laughing. Not sure what happened immediately after but they went back to talking. Heard them talking about the VIP section when I went in again.
This time, when I went in, S comes in to listen looking at me with the sexiest smile. I get in close and touch her lower back. She's all ears.
B: "I see you guys want to get into the VIP section too. My friend got a ticket and he went there. He just ditched us."
T: "You should go in!"
B: "I need your help. You guys distract the security guard, then I'll go in"
I had used this same opener with two other girls just 20 minutes before.
Again, they laughed and we talked for a bit. But again, they talked with each other and then, S sidled up and put her arm around her friend with their back to me while I resumed dancing.
My brain took this as a rejection. "Ah, she's not looking back or giving me any signs, she must not be interested" Which might have been true. But I gave up so easily and didn't talk to them. Soon after, while I was dancing, S told her friend she wanted to check out some other place and they left - her friend glanced at me as they left.
I was angry at myself. For one, I could have taken that so much further. In the roleplay about them distracting the security guards, it would have been easy to sexualize (jokes about them doing a tease, telling them not to flash as much as they want to). Or saying something like "After I get in, I'll come back and lift you in. Then we'll celebrate getting in, make out and live happily ever after". I don't know. Something, anything just to sexualize. But my bitch brain just gave up. "Ah, she must not be interested."
I just gave up so easily and didn't even try to keep it going. I was disappointed in myself for that one. I should have just kept assuming attraction. Assumed it was a test. That would be a mindset shift that would help me tremendously. Whenever a girl is not giving you much back, you just assume she likes you but is testing you. To see how big your balls are and if you'll keep trying. Because she want the ballsiest man.
And when you bail easily, you demonstrate that you're a pussy and lose respect in her eyes. I read Chases recent article on this.
Treating everything like a test. The embarrassment of failing her test and her thinking you're a pussy (by bailing too early) far outweighs the embarrassment of an awkward interaction in my eyes. I respect myself so much more when I stay in set till the end.
As far as I'm concerned, S was attracted to me and testing me, waiting to see what I was going to do. And I failed that test with flying colours, missing out on experiencing that sweet sexy thing.