A major sticking point for me right now is physical escalation.
at the moment, what happens for me now on dates is something like this:
- Invite her home (she accepts)
- My flat only has a large bed, so we watch TV on my bed curled up
- Kiss
- Any further than that, and we fall into logical arguments about sex, or the girl decides not to carry on and leaves
I've had seven girls in my flat this year, kissed them all but had sex with none of them. The most recent girl said "we only just met", "it's too fast" before leaving.
I think my problem is that I allow myself to get dragged into logical arguments. I tend not to say too much in these situations because I know that logic here is not generally helpful. I also struggle to keep girls from leaving. I have sometimes persuaded them to stay longer, but they always leave without sex.
As I'm sure you all can relate to, this is really frustrating. How can I get past this? I've been reading Chase's responses to some common objections but I think fundamentally it is about frame control. Most recently, the girl's frame that she didn't want to have sex that night and that it was too fast outweighed mine.
How do I beat this?
I feel I've made progress in inviting girls home more quickly than usual. Perhaps I need to put on the news as Chase suggested.
I'm also more relaxed in these situations than before as I'm more familiar with them, and I also move quickly during them. I keep thinking sooner or later I'll meet a girl who won't offer any resistance or so little I'll be able to overcome it, but it's not happening for me at the moment.
I know there's a trick that I'm missing, but what is it?
at the moment, what happens for me now on dates is something like this:
- Invite her home (she accepts)
- My flat only has a large bed, so we watch TV on my bed curled up
- Kiss
- Any further than that, and we fall into logical arguments about sex, or the girl decides not to carry on and leaves
I've had seven girls in my flat this year, kissed them all but had sex with none of them. The most recent girl said "we only just met", "it's too fast" before leaving.
I think my problem is that I allow myself to get dragged into logical arguments. I tend not to say too much in these situations because I know that logic here is not generally helpful. I also struggle to keep girls from leaving. I have sometimes persuaded them to stay longer, but they always leave without sex.
As I'm sure you all can relate to, this is really frustrating. How can I get past this? I've been reading Chase's responses to some common objections but I think fundamentally it is about frame control. Most recently, the girl's frame that she didn't want to have sex that night and that it was too fast outweighed mine.
How do I beat this?
I feel I've made progress in inviting girls home more quickly than usual. Perhaps I need to put on the news as Chase suggested.
I'm also more relaxed in these situations than before as I'm more familiar with them, and I also move quickly during them. I keep thinking sooner or later I'll meet a girl who won't offer any resistance or so little I'll be able to overcome it, but it's not happening for me at the moment.
I know there's a trick that I'm missing, but what is it?