Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
505
Hi there fellow seducers,

I've been going out with a girl from Tinder that's super sweet, shy and totally my type (other than not having much booty lol).
Even if she's shy, she gave me no resistance to touching her butt and kissing her in public (I think she's really into me).
On our second date, she sucked my D on the backseat of her car, and told me she really liked doing it.

After that, we finally had sex on my apartment, but neither of us came. It was really warm that day, we were sweating like pigs, and it was our first time having sex together, I had a condom on and everything, so I was like, whatever. We also had sex on the backseat of her car after that, but again, nothing, but it was just a quickie, so I didn't think much of it.

So I invited her to a motel (love hotel? dunno how you call that in English), she told me she's never been at one before, and I figured it would be a nice experience and I would able to fuck the hell out of her there and make her crazy for that D. It was fun taking her there, but the sex itself...
I was going in raw, because last time we had a quickie on her car, she didn't tell to put a condom on, in fact, she just slide my hard cock in her pussy as she sat over me, and I figured she must have not have any STD because she didn't seem like she gets around that much... (I told her I had just donated blood in our first date, after she asked me about the scar on my arm, so I figured she was that quick to accept me going raw because she knows I'm clean).
So I thrusted and thrusted, but as I was getting tired, she didn't seem like she was even close to getting there, like not even a moan or anything.
I tried licking her pussy for a while, but she didn't seem very interested.
She sucked my cock quite a bit, then I was gonna put it in her, and she didn't want me too (she told me she wasn't wet).
I licked her nipples and her whole body, kissed her quite a bit, trying to make her relax, and she got a bit wet, not super, her pussy was still tighter than before, but I entered her anyway.
So I'm fucking her in the usual "adapted missionary" position, the one with which I gave girls many orgasms before, but not even 2 minutes after I start thrusted she tells me to stop (I can't remember her words exactly, I was almost on shock when she said that, but it felt something like "this is no good"). I'm like, WTF man.

So I just get out of her, lay on the bed by her side, feeling super down. I got like into this depressive thought that our sex is terrible and I'm never gonna be able to make her cum, that I'm doing something wrong, and what's the point of me even seeing this girl if our sex is garbage? Like the only reason we met each other was sexual attraction, and the end goal was a sexual relationship, but then our sex is just this bad, so what's the point of keep on seeing her, even if I like her company a lot and she really turns me on?
She just starts talking some random shit about the radio on the motel, dunno if she was trying to defuse the tension or just pretending nothing really happened, but I'm like radio silent. She notices I'm freaking mad/sad (at this point I was thinking about just telling her we would leave and never seeing her again), and then all of sudden she turns into like super passionate, she gets on top of me, starts touching all over my body, kissing me passionately and stuff like that. It made me super happy, all of a sudden. We fucked a bit more but again none of use came, and I was just kinda tired.
I felt like at least doing something different with her, so I tell her to moan on my ear while I masturbate. She knows my neck and my ear are my weak points, so she starts kissing and licking there like crazy, and end up cumming all over her arm and belly. At least I came, I guess.

Next day I tell my friends what happened, and ask them for advice. One of my friends tell me girls almost never come from penetrative sex, that you gotta do oral and finger them and stuff like that. In my head, I'm like, this is total bullshit, I've made girls cum hard and consistently with only my cock, but ok, he's not that experienced and sometimes he comes up with those kinds of silly extrapolations when it comes to girls, even though he's a cool guy, in general.
My other friend simply told me: dude, some girls just don't cum. Like, at all, no matter what you do, they don't.
I was quite surprised by this, as he often would brag about his oral skills with girls, and would tell me girls rarely would cum from penetrative sex with him, so I was expecting a similar response to my other friend. This one has more experience with girls, at least lately, he's been fucking like 5 girls regularly as fuck buddies (no idea how he manages that lol), so I kinda trust his opinion a bit more, but I'm still skeptical.

The girl messaged me early in the afternoon asking me if I wanted to go to her house. At first I was like not even responding, as I thought I needed more time to process everything that happened the other day (it was quite an emotional breakdown, me trying my best to make a girl I really like cum, and not getting any result whatsoever, when I didn't have any problems in the past), but then I just accepted and figured I would try my best again to make her cum, now with more time and no pressure, and I would do my best to understand her and make her confortable.

So we had quite a bit of sex in Saturday, but none of us came, again. We did have a really cool moment though were I was laying facing up and she was just laying over me, kissing me, somehow her body just completely fits mine in this position, she totally can sleep on top of me. She also had me try some weird sex gel thing with her, it's supposed to "vibrate", but what it does feels more it's fucking burning you, she put quite a lot all over my cock, my uretra felt like it was burning from the inside, like I was peeing fire while she was sucking my cock lmao. I also ate her pussy using this thing, she told me she enjoyed it, but again, not a whole lot of moaning and I don't think she even got close to cumming.
Next day in the morning, we had some early morning sex, I asked her to suck my cock, she got wet and we fucked some more, but then she just told me to stop. I asked her if it was hurting her, she said it wasn't the case, so I don't fucking know, maybe she just finds it boring?

I'm not very certain of how much sex experience she has, but I feel like not a lot, because the first time we fucked in her car she started boucing on top of my cock like mega fast, I almost started laughing. Her oral skills weren't the best the first time around (dat T), but she got good very quickly, so maybe she just didn't do it for a long time? (I know oral is no judge of experience as well, since some guys just take whatever they can get and don't wanna shake the boat telling a girl she could do a little better). But the gel thing she had on her room was almost ending (I don't feel like she borrowed that from her mom lol), and it didn't seem like it was her first time doing it on the backseat of a car, though I had to persist for like half an hour kissing her to get her there for the first time. She told she never did anal and it was her first time on a motel ,as well, and by her attitude towards sex, I could say she's pretty unexperienced, but the gel thing really threw me off (she's also 26, so I don't think she's like almost a virgin, but probably way less experienced than most 26 year olds I know).
I asked her if she was into girls, if there was any chance she was a lesbian, but I don't think that's the case, she got super mega wet kissing and touching me on the morning. Also I tried caressing her butthole many times (I was slapping her butt quite a bit as well), but she would often stop me and take out my hand laughing if it stayed there for long. She told me she thought she didn't like it, even though she never did it (I tried to convince her to try, since she might be reaaally into it and not know, my ex for example would cum hard from anal, but she wouldn't let me try still).

I don't have a whole lot of experience. Sure, I fucked my ex like more than two hundred times in two years, and most of them ended up with her cumming once or twice, but other than that I only had a couple of lays before this girl (she's the seventh). Still, I was able to make most of those girls cum or at least get close to it from penetrative sex alone, using Chase's guide (the fabled adapted missionary). But with this girl it seems it doesn't work, at all.
Another thing I didn't mention is we tried some different positions in the motel, there was some sort of weird thing to seat there, and it was kinda hard to even put my cock inside of her, like her pussy was at an angle in which sex was just hard. I don't know how much of anatomy is in fault for our sex stuff. I have an average cock size, but I'm mine is a bit thicker than usual, also a bit curved on the base before it starts going up (a bit like a banana?), my ex used to tell me the shape was great to make her cum, since it touched all her "right spots" (she attributed that as part of the reason I was the only guy to make her cum hard from penetrative sex). At first I thought maybe my cock was a bit big for her, as she's a bit of a smaller girl, and could be hurting her, but she told me not, also I fucked a girl as skinny and small as her and she came super hard for me, so I don't think that has much of an influence (at least not negatively, I think).

I have a really big ego, and before I bragged about how I would be able to make girls cum with my dick "alone" (mostly to the girls themselves, I don't want to shame other guys and be an asshole for no reason), but this girl is really a puzzle to me. I feel like a lot of the enjoyment I get from sex and even seduction as a whole is by the end of it making a girl cum her brains out, so it's really underwhelming that one of the girls I'm most excited about in years doesn't cum with me. It also messes with my self steem and percieved value, you know, I thought that a girl had no reason to cheat on me because on top of being a great, intelligent, strong, dominant guy, I was able to give them pleasure most other men couldn't, but now I can't even make this girl get there, so I'm gonna always be wondering if some other guy is gonna be able to do it, and if she's gonna leave me for him.
Also, it really just sucks that I can't make her cum, like I want the girl I'm with to have a great time, and if she doesn't cum, I kinda feel guilty and selfish of cumming without her, which also robs me of my pleasure.

So I thought about it and came with some possibilities/thoughts about her/the situation, I hope someone with more experience and knowledge could give me an opinion:
- She really doesn't cum and I can't do anything about it:
Seem super unlikely, and I just don't wanna believe it, she told me she masturbated, but she took really long to cum, so I think there's hope (I hope!?!);
- She has some sort of trauma towards sex (particularly penetrative sex) that's keeping her from cumming:
It's kinda sad to think that, but I know many girls go through some fucked up stuff sometime in life. Since she told me to simple and plain "stop" while fucking her, maybe it reminds her of that, and it's gonna take quite some time and work to get her emotionally through that, if that's the case;
- Our anatomy really isn't helping, and she feels nothing or next to nothing with the positions I use:
Seems likely, since she really doesn't seem excited about penetrative sex (she moaned and seemed to enjoy it more the last time, but nothing close to what I would consider normal). Maybe trying new positions could help with that, I don't know (I'm a pretty basic bitch when it comes down to this, she really didn't like when I lifted her legs, she said it hurt, maybe I did too much, but again, dunno, haven't tried doggy and more unusual ones);

Sorry for the long post, but I really want some help with this.
Not only because of this one girl, but I think having a better understanding of what it takes to make girls (or at least more girls) to cum would be a great skill to have, after all, I think a lot of guys here don't wanna just use girls as their little cumdubsters, but actually make a difference in those girls' lifes and give them the best experience they can.

Thank you
 
Last edited:

girlchasing

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 24, 2021
Messages
11
Next day I tell my friends what happened, and ask them for advice. One of my friends tell me girls almost never come from penetrative sex, that you gotta do oral and finger them and stuff like that. In my head, I'm like, this is total bullshit, I've made girls cum hard and consistently with only my cock, but ok, he's not that experienced and sometimes he comes up with those kinds of silly extrapolations when it comes to girls, even though he's a cool guy, in general.
My other friend simply told me: dude, some girls just don't cum. Like, at all, no matter what you do, they don't.
I was quite surprised by this, as he often would brag about his oral skills with girls, and would tell me girls rarely would cum from penetrative sex with him, so I was expecting a similar response to my other friend. This one has more experience with girls, at least lately, he's been fucking like 5 girls regularly as fuck buddies (no idea how he manages that lol), so I kinda trust his opinion a bit more, but I'm still skeptical.
Uh hi yeah so most girls absolutely need clitoral stimulation. Ever wondered why girls hardly ever masturbate with just a dildo or finger penetration? There's always a vibe or some clit action and that is definitely for a reason. I wouldn't necessarily say oral is the best way to go; from my own and my lady friends' experiences, it's usually only subpar and pretty difficult, so try fingering. Otherwise, honestly, your second friend is right. There could be hella reasons (SSRI's etc) but a lot of girls take about an hour to cum even when masturbating (which is easier bc the person doing the pleasing knows exactly how and where to touch). So my advice? Ask her to show you where and how she likes to be touched. Be more communicative. A lot of girls fake orgasms; you'd be surprised, but with all my experience less than half had actually made me cum and every single one thinks they have; for other girls, it's even less than that that have succeeded. Most guys don't believe me, whatever, I get it, but just be glad this one isn't faking. She's more likely to be direct with you about what she actually wants, which can lead to mindblowing sex. Also remember that for a lot of girls, sex can be extremely fulfilling without an orgasm. Good luck man
 

Derek da man

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 24, 2020
Messages
233
The trouble with most peoples talk about sex is that they always focus on all the good things and never talk about things that don't work. A bit like you see all your friends on FB doing good stuff and you're not so you feel our missing out. Reality is it's about perspective, same thing applies to sex. For all the good experiences sometimes things don't work and that leads to frustration and disappointment, just to make it worse we often find the feeling of disappointment someone else, your partner, is even worse than it not working for you.


One of my friends tell me girls almost never come from penetrative sex,
cow patt - some do - in my experience as a woman gets older this happens more often - just my experience though

I had a GF who I had a huge amount of problems getting her to orgasm and it took a lot of sessions trying different things. In fairness to her she did tell me that she only came from having her boobs and nipples played with. I didn't get it at all so wasn't really listening and kept working on her pussy and clit. When I stopped trying to give her orgasms and just play with her boobs and sucked her nipples she did have good orgasms but it took 20-30 minutes. After about a year I did get her to orgasm orally but it took a while.

What I did learn is that I needed to focus on simply giving and receiving pleasure with NO expectation of orgasms - if they happen then great, if not just enjoy the time together.

It sounds to me like you have a good girl there as she loves sucking your dick and pleasuring you. It might feel wrong but let her pleasure you and get you to orgasm, she will get great satisfaction from that and feel she's been good to you. That will then help her relax and then you, return the pleasure all over her body, or wherever she says she likes. That will take time for you to learn her body and work out but it could be fun exploring something you've not done before. You will find it hard to avoid focusing on her pussy etc but you should actually avoid this area until she is really really relaxed and warmed up. It won't be wham bam the same as you have experienced previously.

The girl I refer to above has since become an ongoing FWB and the sex is really good as she's always wanting to try out and experience new things. She's very experimental, loves dressing up for me, loves being handcuffed and is just starting to want to try kinky stuff - but it took time for her to have the confidence in herself to be able to express what turned her on, what she wanted to try and what her particular tastes are.

Hope this helps.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
3,272
Location
South Florida
Get her to open up freely without judgment find out what she likes or doesn't like have her open up. Something is off in what you are doing she is not comfortable or relaxed or just don't like your style... try getting her to a place were she is so wet and horny she wants to jump you, did you try a nice massage to relax her follow by sensual one are you being vocal during sex are you multitasking playing with the cli while penetrating while sucking tits... something is off, make sure you not putting pressure on her to cum
 

Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
505
Uh hi yeah so most girls absolutely need clitoral stimulation. Ever wondered why girls hardly ever masturbate with just a dildo or finger penetration? There's always a vibe or some clit action and that is definitely for a reason... Good luck man
Thank you very much for the advice, I've been trying with her and I'm noticing she's enjoying sex more and more. She told me she only slept with a couple of guys and I think she hasn't been very intimate with them, so I think we just got to have more sex, really hehe

I wouldn't necessarily say oral is the best way to go; from my own and my lady friends' experiences, it's usually only subpar and pretty difficult, so try fingering.
Yeah, I myself hardly get close to cumming with oral as well, even if I enjoy it almost as much (if not more, sometimes) than (penetrative) sex.

A lot of girls fake orgasms; you'd be surprised, but with all my experience less than half had actually made me cum and every single one thinks they have; for other girls, it's even less than that that have succeeded.
I know, my ex faked sometimes, it felt weird to me because I could tell, so I told her she could open up to me and tell me she wasn't going to cum and I would feel better than her having to fake it, that I enjoyed having sex with her anyways, and I think she stopped (or got really good at it lol).
Even if I made some girls cum hard with just my D, there almost as many if not more that I had trouble making cum, for sure, but generally I would attribute that to something else, like we just didn't have that great of a chemistry or whatever (I think this is just my inexperience showing a bit hehe, even if I approached and kissed many many girls, I slept with just a handful, since I lived with my parents, had no money and no car, so logistics were tough).
I guess I also got lucky with some girls that had an easier time cumming and were really into me.

Also remember that for a lot of girls, sex can be extremely fulfilling without an orgasm.
She seems pretty happy with our sex overall, but I have a huge sex drive and I thought that maybe if she cums (or the more she cums) the more she'll want it, but dunno

In fairness to her she did tell me that she only came from having her boobs and nipples played with.
Lol I didn't know that was really real, I always use nipples as a secondary way of stimulation to get girls there but not as the main one... This girl in particular laughs a lot when I lick her nipples, or her neck. It kinda takes me out of the sexual vibe, but I guess I just gotta get use to it hehe, different people have different ways to express pleasure, I suppose

It sounds to me like you have a good girl there as she loves sucking your dick and pleasuring you. It might feel wrong but let her pleasure you and get you to orgasm, she will get great satisfaction from that and feel she's been good to you. That will then help her relax and then you, return the pleasure all over her body, or wherever she says she likes. That will take time for you to learn her body and work out but it could be fun exploring something you've not done before. You will find it hard to avoid focusing on her pussy etc but you should actually avoid this area until she is really really relaxed and warmed up. It won't be wham bam the same as you have experienced previously.
getting her to a place were she is so wet and horny she wants to jump you, did you try a nice massage to relax her follow by sensual one are you being vocal during sex are you multitasking playing with the cli while penetrating while sucking tits...
Yeah I've been focusing more on other stimuli, eventually she gets so wet she starts grabbing my cock and tells me to get a condom, then she seems to be enjoying sex more... I also been trying other positions and letting her ride me, even if she doesn't quite orgasm it's lovely to hear her moan

She's very experimental, loves dressing up for me, loves being handcuffed and is just starting to want to try kinky stuff - but it took time for her to have the confidence in herself to be able to express what turned her on, what she wanted to try and what her particular tastes are.
I get a feeling she will open up to me eventually too, I'm not really used to inexperienced girls but I guess there are nice things about it.

make sure you not putting pressure on her to cum
Yeah I'm trying as best as I can, but it feels a bit sad when she doesn't, but I know pressuring her in anyway it's the worst thing I can do, so I'll try to keep as openminded and outcome independent as I can

Thank yall for answering! ;D
 

Surveyor

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 2, 2022
Messages
291
Location
Los Angeles
There could be hella reasons (SSRI's etc)
Tysm for this very useful bit of info! I had no idea this was so common. A while back a male friend got super anxious about this (he's not even sexually active) and I told him it was no big deal and reversible.
Given how commonly prescribed antidepressants are these days in the US (especially among women), it's definitely worth noting.
 

girlchasing

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 24, 2021
Messages
11
Tysm for this very useful bit of info! I had no idea this was so common. A while back a male friend got super anxious about this (he's not even sexually active) and I told him it was no big deal and reversible.
Given how commonly prescribed antidepressants are these days in the US (especially among women), it's definitely worth noting.
Way over prescribed if you ask me, especially with mental illness seemingly becoming a trend (thanks tiktok) but thats neither here nor there. Birth control and drugs can also definitely affect sex drive and sexuality in and of itself. I went off the pill and immediately lost 30 pounds and fell in love with a guy I'd only ever seen as a friend so yeah.
 
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