Special Girl Great set, great early texting, she ghosts

[Skjöldr]

I have oneitis for this girl. She was very pretty. Our conversation went well. She's a horse girl and loves animals (makes sense later). I say i frequent a forest which has a really cute baby pony and she goes aww.

Our texting is this:

Me: Hey Horsegirl, spontaneous to meet you -Phoenix
Her: Hey stud (laugh) that was fucking funny. I haven't experienced that before but it was brave of you (tongue out)
Me: Hey! Only i can call myself stud. You only want me for my looks (sad)
Her: I have nothing else to evaluate you on yet (laugh)
Me: I need to get to know you better yet before i open up for myself fully, i'm taking good care of my soft heart
Her: Haha ofc, you should do that
Her: Do you have insta?
Me: instagram name (think i fucked up here)
Me: But i only accept requests from people i know well
Her: Hahaha you better accept my request
Me: Hmm i'm gonna ask my oracle

I cannot send videos over text on my phone, so i send it on instagram, without accepting follow request. Thing is, when you don't follow one another, a DM comes in as message request and only when she hits accept does it show me that she seen it, she can still see my messages without accepting...
Instagram:

Me: (video of me petting a dog and filming around at the horses and the baby pony, which is walking around outside the fence)
Me: Think the oracle escaped

I thought it was a good way of averting her possibly being scared of me not wanting to show her my social media, showing that i'm a harmless animal person, she loves animals.

This was all on Wednesday, 2 days ago, with no reply. So i hit her with "It was not meant to make you sad" (her being sad that i won't give her my instagram, a re-frame that the reason she is not texting me back is that i made her sad)

Still no reply. So loe and behold i am out walking today and she walks towards me with an awkward smile looking down and a dude walking next to her (100% sure it was a date). I just walked past like nothing and just glimpsed at her but she didn't look up so i just looked forward.

I have oneitis about this girl and idk what to do from here. I am thinking shooting her a text in 2-3 days with "If you keep being sad like that, i'm gonna get you a consolation teddy bear that looks like the baby pony" but maybe it's a shitty text and she can smell the neediness, so maybe it's better to just hang tight and bet that she's gonna hit me up some time in the future or that i see her around town and can re-approach her.

I love the help you guys give me, always. Whenever i feel shit about a FU i go on here and get advice so that i can take action and improve. Feel free to point out mistakes made along the ways. I feel that
A) it was a mistake to give her my username and instead should have said i don't use social media that much (seems a bit like a DLV tho)
B) Generally my texting was a bit off idk. Seems a bit too tryhard and uncalibrated.

What do you guys suggest?

 

[Skjöldr]

Btw this girl is a hottie and have 4k followers on instagram lol, i can't compete with that. Never deal your social media out to chicks

 

[Skjöldr]

Maybe also she feels it's too awkward to text me now because i saw her with another dude?

 

[Rakkum]

A) it was a mistake to give her my username and instead should have said i don't use social media that much (seems a bit like a DLV tho)

I don't have Instagram and I don't see it hurting me at all. But who knows, maybe I'm the weirdo who thinks he 's cool
But seriously, if you're cool otherwise and don't have an anti-social vibe going on, then not having or not sharing social media is not seen as a LV in my experience.

EDIT:

The way you handled the Insta thing here was bad imo.. You either do Insta or don't.

Now, I think, you came off as gamey and tryhard. Here's why.

You giver her your Insta name but tell her you don't accept people whom you don't know well. So why did you give her your Insta name in the first place? Then you send her vids on Insta after you said that. Why did you say that? Are you trying to cool high-value guy by doing that?


Ok, but you probably know all that yourself, bro. A case of acting against your own best judgement, right.

Still no reply. So loe and behold i am out walking today and she walks towards me with an awkward smile looking down and a dude walking next to her (100% sure it was a date). I just walked past like nothing and just glimpsed at her but she didn't look up so i just looked forward.

Elders, please, would like to hear your opinion on how to act in a situation like this.

I have oneitis about this girl and idk what to do from here. I am thinking shooting her a text in 2-3 days with "If you keep being sad like that, i'm gonna get you a consolation teddy bear that looks like the baby pony" but maybe it's a shitty text and she can smell the neediness, so maybe it's better to just hang tight and bet that she's gonna hit me up some time in the future or that i see her around town and can re-approach her.

A good thing to do when your emotions are a bit stirred up is to write somewhere, then wait. Go back to it later and see how it feels. The first shot is not always the best one. Feel free to repeat. I've saved myself from a few dead ends by doing this.

 

[Skjöldr]

@Rakkum so true i handled the instagram thing horrendously, i wanted to show her that "yes i have a face on social media, i'm not a complete lunatic, but there's a bar of entry" to make her chase, but it fucked up cuz yeah, didnt work out like intended. @Velasco suggested in chat the way he handles it is "I don't use instagram anymore, because i had girls stalking me" which i will use from now on.

Also curious on what to do if you see a girl with another dude and you can tell it's making her awkward, even though you don't care, it's still giving her the wrong feelies.

As for what to do now, Vel suggested calling her sunday night and either re-seduce if she picks up or if she doesn't pick up let her get back to me.

 

[Skills]

@Rakkum so true i handled the instagram thing horrendously, i wanted to show her that "yes i have a face on social media, i'm not a complete lunatic, but there's a bar of entry" to make her chase, but it fucked up cuz yeah, didnt work out like intended. @Velasco suggested in chat the way he handles it is "I don't use instagram anymore, because i had girls stalking me" which i will use from now on.

Also curious on what to do if you see a girl with another dude and you can tell it's making her awkward, even though you don't care, it's still giving her the wrong feelies.

As for what to do now, Vel suggested calling her sunday night and either re-seduce if she picks up or if she doesn't pick up let her get back to me.

oh nice one, the stalking angle, can't believe i did not think about that one...

 

[kristian]

@Phoenix , girls ghost most of the time. It has nothing to do with you.

You should definitely see this video to make you understand this: Why the most affectionate girls will ghost.

 

[Skjöldr]

@Phoenix , girls ghost most of the time. It has nothing to do with you.

You should definitely see this video to make you understand this: Why the most affectionate girls will ghost.

Yes ghosting can happen for many reasons and the guy in the video is right that you cannot always gauge girl's interest levels (and sexual availability etc in this period in time) but he is also wrong. You shouldn't expect girls who are super into you in set to ghost the same or more as girls who seem disinterested and gives their number without too much enthusiasm.

 

[Skjöldr]

Update: Just called her up, it went to voicemail pre-maturely so i suspect she hit the decline button. Oh well, atleast i took one for the team and came up with a new response for when they want instagram. I just told another girl "Not to be shady, but i've had some bad experiences with girls who stalked me on instagram, so i would like to get to know you better first "

I'm thinking that i should cut the "bad experiences" out A) makes text shorter B) It's a negative word and can be dispensed with. And instead just aay "...i've had some girls who stalked me on instagram, so i would like to get to know you better first"

 

[kristian]

Yes ghosting can happen for many reasons and the guy in the video is right that you cannot always gauge girl's interest levels (and sexual availability etc in this period in time) but he is also wrong. You shouldn't expect girls who are super into you in set to ghost the same or more as girls who seem disinterested and gives their number without too much enthusiasm.

Yeah, most often, the more she is into you, the less shell ghost. However, girls that are into me also ghost and it also happens after a lay. Sometimes it doesn't have anything to do with you but her state. She might have been in a state then and there and changed her mind. Besides she doesn't know you well enough - from what I see in your texts.

Another thing: there are guys in her life you'll never know about. From my experiences, after meeting up with romantic interests that have ghosted me in the past, they later tell me it was because they had a boyfriend at that time, or were entering a relationship.

Don't know if you meet other girls. The best thing to do - in my case - is simply approach new women. It won't take long before you meet someone equally as cool as her. Anyways no answer is still an answer.

 

[Skjöldr]

Yeah, most often, the more she is into you, the less shell ghost. However, girls that are into me also ghost and it also happens after a lay. Sometimes it doesn't have anything to do with you but her state. She might have been in a state then and there and changed her mind. Besides she doesn't know you well enough - from what I see in your texts.

Another thing: there are guys in her life you'll never know about. From my experiences, after meeting up with romantic interests that have ghosted me in the past, they later tell me it was because they had a boyfriend at that time, or were entering a relationship.

Don't know if you meet other girls. The best thing to do - in my case - is simply approach new women. It won't take long before you meet someone equally as cool as her. Anyways no answer is still an answer.

Yes dude, very true. I posted in chat the updates. She said she was beginning to date someone and that i could stop contacting her, and i sent back a good text thanks to @Velasco to her about how she could get back in touch when he gets too boring and she sent back "Thanks. Haha i will think about it/keep that in mind " so ya

 

[Skills]

Yes dude, very true. I posted in chat the updates. She said she was beginning to date someone and that i could stop contacting her, and i sent back a good text thanks to @Velasco to her about how she could get back in touch when he gets too boring and she sent back "Thanks. Haha i will think about it/keep that in mind " so ya

Bad text, you should not have gotten a situation in the first place, were a girl has to resort to send you that text in the first place, also the follow up text is bad as well, you lose all self respect... You would benefit since i already see a pattern of commission breath, on knowing when to pursue and be persistent and when to NOT CHASE, and give women breathing room, i get more girls from no chasing vs being persistent... i am only persistent in closing location when tokens of objections at time while denying escalations like i wrote in other post, not during other seduction stages that much... you would benefit of studying a bit of brent smith for a while just to have the right balance on seductions...

 

[Skjöldr]

@Skills I followed Velasco's advice. The girl was ghosting me so i called her up after a couple of days. It goes on voicemail prematurely and she text back 20 min later. Here's the full text dialogue:

Her: Why did you call me?
Me: nvm
Her: You can stop contacting me, i'm dating someone
Me: Oh shit lol, i'm super happy to hear that Don't be afraid to give sound sometime when he starts getting wayyy too boring Just kidding... But forreal tho
Her: Thanks. Haha okay, i will think about it

And i let it sit like that. Instead of ending on a bad note with her ghosting if it fucks up with that dude i believe the likelihood she suddenly gets back in touch after 3 weeks of ghosting is less than the note i ended on now where she explained why she was ignoring me and i told her in a butthurt way "cool, get it touch when it fucks up".

What would you have done instead?

 

[Skills]

@Skills I followed Velasco's advice. The girl was ghosting me so i called her up after a couple of days. It goes on voicemail prematurely and she text back 20 min later. Here's the full text dialogue:


And i let it sit like that. Instead of ending on a bad note with her ghosting if it fucks up with that dude i believe the likelihood she suddenly gets back in touch after 3 weeks of ghosting is less than the note i ended on now where she explained why she was ignoring me and i told her in a butthurt way "cool, get it touch when it fucks up".

What would you have done instead?

If a girl ghosted, I personally let it be and maybe ping on occasion if ever all that calling and leaving messages subcommunicat low value and desperation... as I said study a bit of Brent Smith, I naturally do some of his stuff as I explain here https://www.theskillsmethod.com/different-schools-seduction/

I Also like what cientifico did on his journal on his last lay report look at the text he sent I have done similar

 

[Skjöldr]

If a girl ghosted, I personally let it be and maybe ping on occasion if ever all that calling and leaving messages subcommunicat low value and desperation... as I said study a bit of Brent Smith, I naturally do some of his stuff as I explain here https://www.theskillsmethod.com/different-schools-seduction/

I Also like what cientifico did on his journal on his last lay report look at the text he sent I have done similar

Cientifico sent an audio message. You advised against audio messages as it was "jumping through too many hoops" and advised sticking to text in an older post.

 

[Skjöldr]

Velasco said it was a field tested thing and Fog approved too, on what do you base that it is more desperate to call a girl and then let her get back to you, than it is to let it sit for a few weeks and then ping her?

 

[Skjöldr]

Watched the Brent Smith video and here are some take aways:
-Give girls your number instead of taking theirs
-One and done school of thought (no double texting, if a girl doesn't text back for whatever reason, wait until she does even if that means ever)
-Text for logistics ("Drinks at my place 8pm on Thursday" and if she isn't down for that, next! The whole point is getting together, not idle text chatting)
-Don't try to make girls like you, just be an attractive dude and just be yourself and girls will come to you. Don't try and create attraction, either she's interested or she's not. Sometimes girls approach you, sometimes you approach them, whatever happens, happens.

And ofc i cannot abide by any of these. As i progress on my journey things seem less about WHAT you do and more about HOW you do it. I'm doing what i'm doing, because i believe it has the highest level of success as far as i know, so does Brent Smith. Who has the more needy game? There's difference between neediness and persistence. Brent Smith strawmans double and triple texting as spamming girls "did you get my text?" 2 out of 9 of the girls i f-closed since last year when i started daygame didn't reply to my icebreaker. If i didn't follow up next day anyways, i wouldn't have gotten them.

So ya to me it's more about attitude. I had oneitis for girl in OP the first few days but i had none when i called her Sunday night. I just thought "whatever it either works or it doesn't". Honestly what Brent Smith says sounds good in theory (just be a cool dude and women come to you, don't chase, give them space to chase you) but IME the real world doesn't work like that at all. I like his attitude of non-neediness but his technical advice is horrible.

 

[Skills]

Watched the Brent Smith video and here are some take aways:
-Give girls your number instead of taking theirs
-One and done school of thought (no double texting, if a girl doesn't text back for whatever reason, wait until she does even if that means ever)
-Text for logistics ("Drinks at my place 8pm on Thursday" and if she isn't down for that, next! The whole point is getting together, not idle text chatting)
-Don't try to make girls like you, just be an attractive dude and just be yourself and girls will come to you. Don't try and create attraction, either she's interested or she's not. Sometimes girls approach you, sometimes you approach them, whatever happens, happens.

And ofc i cannot abide by any of these. As i progress on my journey things seem less about WHAT you do and more about HOW you do it. I'm doing what i'm doing, because i believe it has the highest level of success as far as i know, so does Brent Smith. Who has the more needy game? There's difference between neediness and persistence. Brent Smith strawmans double and triple texting as spamming girls "did you get my text?" 2 out of 9 of the girls i f-closed since last year when i started daygame didn't reply to my icebreaker. If i didn't follow up next day anyways, i wouldn't have gotten them.

So ya to me it's more about attitude. I had oneitis for girl in OP the first few days but i had none when i called her Sunday night. I just thought "whatever it either works or it doesn't". Honestly what Brent Smith says sounds good in theory (just be a cool dude and women come to you, don't chase, give them space to chase you) but IME the real world doesn't work like that at all. I like his attitude of non-neediness but his technical advice is horrible.

I don't do any of that either, I told you that In your latest post you are getting a bit of commission breath, to have a more balanced approach to study a bit of Brent Smith for the balance, not to follow him 100%, but to know when to be persistent and went to pull back. What cientifico did was to polarize her and make her made a decision similar to what I advice with reds on texting guide

 

[Velasco]

What cientifico did was to polarize her and make her made a decision similar to what I advice with reds on texting guide

Cientifico said:

“Hey X, hope your day is excellent. Look, I know we’ve only chatted very briefly over text and over a dating app, however I got a very good vibe from you initially, and I like to go with my gut instinct. I know we’re both busy people, but I’ve got some time this weekend if that works for you for a drink or a quick coffee. This will also be my last message to you. So, let me know.”

Had Phoenix send this audio message to his girl, she would have responded, "hey phoenix I'm sorry for not responding to your texts (Cientifico said, he sent his girl 4 text messages that went unresponded to before his hail marry audio message. If Phoenix had send 4 text messages in a row with no response to his girl, you would have told him, "dude wtf are you doing?? stop fucking chasing, bro!", but because Cientifico was able to turn it around with his hail marry message, you say he did it right. and what Phoenix did was "low value" and "desperate") but I'm in a relationship now. it was nice to meet you " which is a shitter message than the one he got. Because she is turning him down (the hail marry audio) VS Phoenix only called her (with the intention of flirting with her to get her excited again VS hail marry "this will be my last message to you") which she did not pick up. She doesn't know what he was going to say. Better % she will text Phoenix back cuz he is not butthurt. He shows that he respects her (while also subtlety negging the boyfriend) and make her laugh VS feeling sorry for him and too embarrassed to message him if she breaks up with the boyfriend.

 

[Skills]

Cientifico said:

Had Phoenix send this audio message to his girl, she would have responded, "hey phoenix I'm sorry for not responding to your texts (Cientifico said, he sent his girl 4 text messages that went unresponded to before his hail marry audio message. If Phoenix had send 4 text messages in a row with no response to his girl, you would have told him, "dude wtf are you doing?? stop fucking chasing, bro!", but because Cientifico was able to turn it around with his hail marry message, you say he did it right. and what Phoenix did was "low value" and "desperate") but I'm in a relationship now. it was nice to meet you " which is a shitter message than the one he got. Because she is turning him down (the hail marry audio) VS Phoenix only called her (with the intention of flirting with her to get her excited again VS hail marry "this will be my last message to you") which she did not pick up. She doesn't know what he was going to say. Better % she will text Phoenix back cuz he is not butthurt. He shows that he respects her (while also subtlety negging the boyfriend) and make her laugh VS feeling sorry for him and too embarrassed to message him if she breaks up with the boyfriend.

let me talk velasco language:

her: ghosting/ i don't feel comfortable/ i don't know you/ i am sort of seeing someone/etc...= objection/red/no that invested

^ depending on that answer, flirt, close or address shit test/objection.... then proceed...till you get a positive/green/go ahead/interested THEN SOFT CLOSE AGAIN, before hard closing, then rinse wash repeat if needed, get me guys?

Red addressing objection: Listen i thought you were really cool when i met you, but if you not willing to get to know me is ok, maybe when i meet you i felt you were cool and thought we would get along and you were someone worth getting to know, but maybe i was wrong, i am not the type to crash into parties when i am not invited.

hb: oh i am sorry, i did not mean it that way, let me look at my schedule

Now there is another school that assman forgot to mention which is gaining a bit of popularity as well and is the Brent Smith philosophy. Basically, Is about not pursuing, care free unattached to the outcome and sex just happens, you do not go looking for it. A good example is the character played by Hank Moody in the showtime series “Californication”. The problem with this approach for what I have study is the lack of aggressiveness and sexual escalation in the Brent Smith Method. However, if you read my book, I naturally incorporate in my game some elements of this approach as well.

My final conclusion is that i believe that is good to be well grounded instead of being strict and stubborn with your approach.

This dude is struggling cause he is chasing too much lately, he has commission breath, but is my opinion, i am saying he needs to learn to pull back at times (the only guys that teach a bit of pull back is brent smith, cosy and maybe chase, but brent smith more, so i thought of him), and give girls breathing room, it works for me... i did not say Follow brent smith or do not chase, i said take a look at brent and his style of no chasing and incorporate it here and there as a balance... It works for me naturally, i don't agree with giving girls numbers (none sense or the rest of his none sense)...