Special Girl Great set, great early texting, she ghosts

[Velasco]

Her: ghosting/ i don't feel comfortable/ i don't know you/ i am sort of seeing someone/etc...= objection/red/no that invested

^ depending on that answer, flirt, close or address shit test/objection.... then proceed...till you get a positive/green/go ahead/interested THEN SOFT CLOSE AGAIN, before hard closing, then rinse wash repeat if needed, get me guys?

Phoenix only called her (with the intention of flirting with her to get her excited again)

She ghosted (no response after 3 messages) -> I (along with fog) suggested he call her over the phone a couple days later (aka breathing room), flirt with her over the phone (or texts if she did not pick up, but apologized for ghosting).

Her reason for ghosting was that she had just gotten in new relationship

From my experiences, after meeting up with romantic interests that have ghosted me in the past, they later tell me it was because they had a boyfriend at that time, or were entering a relationship.

New relationship energy - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

So my recommendation was that to instead of taking this as a "shit test/objection" (she wasn't going to respond: "hb: oh i am sorry, i did not mean it that way, let me look at my schedule" as you say above) I told him to tell her that he was happy for her. but let her know once she gets bored of him, to give him (phoenix) a text when the new relationship energy wears out and "it didn't work out."

After the first hook up, do you lose interest?

I don't. Assuming that we're compatible on that level, and there weren't any health/hygiene/mechanical issues, I want to continue to hook up. But I've always wondered about what's going on with guys that get "the goal" and then lose interest. Assuming she's clean, she's not clingy, she's...

www.skilledseducer.com

This dude is struggling cause he is chasing too much lately

again, I know you ignored it the first time so I'll repeat my comment again: Cientifico (the guy you say did it right) sent 4 messages in a row to his girl with zero response before his hail marry. if this is not "chasing too much" then i don't know what is....

 

[Skills]

So my recommendation was that to instead of taking this as a "shit test/objection" (she wasn't going to respond: "hb: oh i am sorry, i did not mean it that way, let me look at my schedule" as you say above) I told him to tell her that he was happy for her. but let her know once she gets bored of him, to give him (phoenix) a text when the new relationship energy wears out and "it didn't work out."

I guarantee you he will never ever hear from her again, this is such a low value horrible strategy.... vs... doing nothing and cause they are in instagram together, when is over, she will ping him, or he will ping and she respond in the future...

 

[Velasco]

vs... doing nothing

What cientifico did was to polarize her and make her made a decision similar to what I advice with reds on texting guide

so "do nothing" or do what Cientfico did to turn around the girl that ghosted him in his report? Make up your mind lol. I see you obviously can not argue against any of my points, except say its a low value horrible strategy. its like a feminist arguing against facts she doesn't like. It's because you are more interested in being right than helping him.

 

[kristian]

I guarantee you he will never ever hear from her again, this is such a low value horrible strategy.... vs... doing nothing and cause they are in instagram together, when is over, she will ping him, or he will ping and she respond in the future...

I've had successes with women by just saying "I'm glad for you if you're single again let's have an adventure ". I try to make it fun and exciting when I say so and then disappear for 3 months or so. That combined with having each other on Instagram and posting fun stuff I do with other people (and girls), will make her curious.

When she is single again, there's a high probability that she will contact you again. Then I'll just make an appointment to hang out and see what happens.

 

[Skjöldr]

I'm not on instagram with her though, so i would ping her coldly, i could only speculate at which point she would be single again or whatever if i were to ping her again, with the note i left her on before Velasco's suggestion i don't think she would have reached out as it was on a low one, one of her already ghosting me, whereas now we broke the ghosting and left on a higher note. Amusing her, showing i'm non-butthurt and telling her to reach out when the dude blows it.

I guarantee you he will never ever hear from her again, this is such a low value horrible strategy.... vs... doing nothing and cause they are in instagram together, when is over, she will ping him, or he will ping and she respond in the future...

What

 

[Skjöldr]

You can argue my text wasn't perfect, i actually liked @kristian's text alot, however i feel i did the right thing. On Friday i see her on a date with a dude. I act non-chalantly but i can tell she thinks to herself "fuckfuckfuck" and looks down and smiles awkwardly as i walk past. I follow up quick after that (2 days) which is quick enough to still be fresh in her mind and flip that feeling she got Friday and waited long enough for it to not be too desperate. I took the pressure off the awkwardness she felt Friday. This is just a case of a girl who was into me but due to circumstances fell off the radar (for now). By taking off the pressure and leaving her on a friendly and display of non-neediness "yes you are dating someone else whatever get in touch" note i believe my chances are higher vs having left her hanging with my double texts and the feeling that maybe i hate her now or whatever. By following up the way i did i took the pressure off. The only thing left to argue here is whether or not i should have sent her A) a hail mary audio note B) Do what i did C) sent some funky text

 

[Rakkum]

"I don't use instagram anymore, because i had girls stalking me" which i will use from now on.

I've tried that a few time with little success. Maybe I had some other element wrong, who knows. What I found to work for me personally is something along the lines

"Omg, are you going to stalk me? "
"Yeah, totally!! "
"Omg, not another one!! Ok, but seriously, I don't actually have Insta..."

 

[Skills]

so "do nothing" or do what Cientfico did to turn around the girl that ghosted him in his report? Make up your mind lol. I see you obviously can not argue against any of my points, except say its a low value horrible strategy. its like a feminist arguing against facts she doesn't like. It's because you are more interested in being right than helping him.

Dude I was explaining that I like and teach what cientifico did in a Ghost red situation, without the 4 tries.. that text you told him to send is low value as fuck, though hope it works

 

[Skjöldr]

What's so low value about it, @Skills ?

 

[Velasco]

Dude I was explaining that I like and teach what cientifico did in a Ghost red situation, without the 4 tries.. that text you told him to send is low value as fuck, though hope it works

Cientifico sent the hail marry text because she ghosted him. If Phoenix had sent that exact same message after HE got ghosted I already explained what the reaction he would have gotten on the previous page. Phoenix also explains in comment #26, what "Doing nothing" would yield.

But I'm glad to see you liked Kristian's comment. Means you are starting to see what I was saying to Phoenix. Progress....your almost there lol.

What's so low value about it, @Skills ?

It's not his style. So he doesnt see that there is actually nothing low value about what I told you to send her. She understood the message tho. Which was the goal. I can break it down for him if he likes...

 

[Skills]

I've had successes with women by just saying "I'm glad for you if you're single again let's have an adventure ". I try to make it fun and exciting when I say so and then disappear for 3 months or so. That combined with having each other on Instagram and posting fun stuff I do with other people (and girls), will make her curious.

When she is single again, there's a high probability that she will contact you again. Then I'll just make an appointment to hang out and see what happens.

Yes I would get very excited and say awesome, if you are ever single again and I happen not to be dating anyone maybe we can get together and have an adventure... in the right context o can see that working, but again is not needed just act happy for her like it doesn't face you eventually she will be back... with the op was more like leave me alone don't bother me, and then he goes I am here for you if it doesn't work out... my argument is that it should not have gotten this far in the first place to that point...

 

[Skills]

Cientifico sent the hail marry text because she ghosted him. If Phoenix had sent that exact same message after HE got ghosted I already explained what the reaction he would have gotten on the previous page. Phoenix also explains in comment #26, what "Doing nothing" would yield.

But I'm glad to see you liked Kristian's comment. Means you are starting to see what I was saying to Phoenix. Progress....your almost there lol.

It's not his style. So he doesnt see that there is actually nothing low value about what I told you to send her. She understood the message tho. Which was the goal. I can break it down for him if he likes...

Bro I am talking in general you keep going back to this scenario, read my answer to kristan

 

[Velasco]

though hope it works

Hopes it doesnt work so he can say, "that's what you get for not taking my advice". But we know what hes advice would have lead to

 

[Velasco]

then he goes I am here for you if it doesn't work out..

It's not empathetic at all. Its subtle asshole trolling. Hes saying once she gets bored of him (not "if"....like he just assumes she will), hit me up (meaning of she wants to be with opposite of boring guy). Then "just kidding" I'm not an asshole like that....nah but I actually am tho" -> to get the haha I'll think about it " subtle cheating (if he (the bf) saw that message on her phone he would be pissed off).

"my argument is that it should not have gotten this far in the first place to that point"

We all agree with this...thing is we ARE at this point right now, so we are talking about the now. The past is done.

 

[Skjöldr]

"my argument is that it should not have gotten this far in the first place to that point"

We all agree with this...thing is we ARE at this point right now, so we are talking about the now. The past is done.

Interesting, where in the process would you all say it went bad?

 

[Skjöldr]

Because i handled the instagram thing badly? To be honest it could be a convenient way to blow me off, but regardless of my texting she would have dated the dude anyways.

 

[Skills]

What's so low value about it, @Skills ?

Ok a lot of times when I am answering I am in the middle of biz and I hate dealing with the forum from my cell... but velasco is texting me questions so I see that I didn't make my points clear... I have seen that you lost about 3 girls due to similar patterns... I call it commission breath, which is when a salesperson has not met his quota for the month and he gets all desperate for the sale cause he is about to get fired... so my point is when girls start ghosting to polarize to make a decision and I used the cientifico recent incident as a sample cause is similar to what I do. I also think you can benefit of balance with persistent and no chasing balance, I thought brent Smith was going to help in right context for the balance, maybe I made a mistake suggesting that, cause I thought you would understand the balance part. I also explained to you about sometimes we get mild onitis when a girl is into us but didn't close and pulls back... I thought the text was low value cause you were like, if it doesn't work out I will still be here for you, for me subcommunicates low value, desperation, I didn't like the text, it should not have gotten to that point regardless.

 

[Skjöldr]

@Skills first the girl doesn't reply so i wait 2 days, then she doesn't reply and i wait another 2 days and call her sunday night. Do you think that's a too short timeframe? It wasn't like i double or triple texted her the same day. The reason i double/triple text within 2-3 days intervals is that girls you have only talked with on the street need to be plowed a bit harder otherwise you fall off the radar.

I went on a date with another beautiful girl on Sunday and i text her after "It was nice, powerwalker, good luck with packing!" (She's in the middle of moving, she's packing and moving on Saturday/this weekend, and her friend was coming over after the date) and she said "Thanks, and thanks for the walk" and i text her 24 hours later saying "I probably wasn't completely honest with my cooking skills *smirk*" and it's been almost 2 days now and she haven't replied. My plan was to say i make some delicious protein pancakes that'll give her an amazing boost for the moving this weekend and what days she could come over, but since she didn't reply i'm just gonna ping her Sunday/Monday and ask her how the moving went and that we should celebrate (plan B)

 

[Chase]

@Phoenix,

I won't address the Instagram angle, since you've got a good response for that ("Oh no, no... I always get stalkers. Social media drives people crazy I find").

On this bit:

Also curious on what to do if you see a girl with another dude and you can tell it's making her awkward, even though you don't care, it's still giving her the wrong feelies.

Still no reply. So loe and behold i am out walking today and she walks towards me with an awkward smile looking down and a dude walking next to her (100% sure it was a date). I just walked past like nothing and just glimpsed at her but she didn't look up so i just looked forward.

Yeah, it's awkward, but if you think quick you can come out on top with these.

The one I default to is looking at her like I'm seeing an old friend, and... "Ohhhh! Heyy, haha! New boyfriend?"

Then let her introduce me to the guy. She is either going to tell you yeah, they just started dating, or no, he's just a friend (which doesn't necessarily mean 'not a date' or 'not an FWB'), or she'll describe what they're doing instead of what they are ("We're just going for ice cream").

You can make a little joke: "Looks like I was too slow!"

Once one of these girls invited me along, and I had to decide if I wanted to go along and cockblock the guy and compete for the girl (lol), but decided I'd probably just be an accessory used to shit-test the guy with. So she just got a, "Naw, wouldn't want to be a third wheel. But we should get together soon! Like this weekend maybe! Drop me a text later," and I kept going.

If it sounds like they're together, I'll just tell the guy "She's a great catch, man!" Just end it on a real positive note.

Usually after that my M.O. has been to just not follow up with these girls at all. I can probably count on two hands the number of times this has happened to me (mostly with girls I sort of know from social circle)... maybe there's a better approach, I dunno. But my thing is just all right, this girl's going out with other guys when she could've been going out with me, I'm not going to waste more time on it, she's obviously a bad decision maker, lol. Also, she has my info.

A few times I've had these girls contact me the same day. Usually they will not bring the guy up themselves, but if they are contacting you IME that means they are trying to tell you "Hey, I'm actually still available." I will break the awkwardness there and say "Seems like you and that guy are a pretty cute couple" and she'll beg off and say noooo, we're not together (maybe they're friends... or maybe the date didn't go so well...!), and I'll say "Oh good, lucky me then" and ask her out.

A few other times I've had these girls circle back weeks to months later with a "Hey!" text or what have you.

Then other times just never heard from them again.

My approach though is just "be really cool, super sociable, diffuse all the awkwardness, acknowledge that she's maybe with this guy, be chill with it, and if there'll be any following up, let her follow up, because she's the one now socially obligated to clear the air and tell you she's available if she is."

Chase

 

[DarkKnight]

@Phoenix,



Usually after that my M.O. has been to just not follow up with these girls at all. I can probably count on two hands the number of times this has happened to me (mostly with girls I sort of know from social circle)... maybe there's a better approach, I dunno. But my thing is just all right, this girl's going out with other guys when she could've been going out with me, I'm not going to waste more time on it, she's obviously a bad decision maker, lol. Also, she has my info.

A few times I've had these girls contact me the same day. Usually they will not bring the guy up themselves, but if they are contacting you IME that means they are trying to tell you "Hey, I'm actually still available." I will break the awkwardness there and say "Seems like you and that guy are a pretty cute couple" and she'll beg off and say noooo, we're not together (maybe they're friends... or maybe the date didn't go so well...!), and I'll say "Oh good, lucky me then" and ask her out.

A few other times I've had these girls circle back weeks to months later with a "Hey!" text or what have you.

Chase

Yeah... I've been here multiple times.. Some of these girls didn't go for me due to attainability problems (due to insecurity on their own part), some due to mistakes on my part (causing autorejection) and some because I wasn't their first choice kind of guy..

To this day.. I always have experienced it as too big of a compromise to indulge on them after another guy has been in the picture. I just can't do it . Except when I have been the dick who has been postponing all the time, because I know that that is on me. There is some kind of mental blockade there which I can't go over, it just feels as if I would lose something.