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Gym guy behavior feedback needed

Lilly

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
66
To recap about me from my previous posts: 28 year old virgin woman actively going out to meet guys with the end goal of finding a husband.

After almost two months of regular gym visits, finally something interesting things happened with one of the guys there that I’d appreciate some male opinions on.

He looks about mid-20s, very built physique without looking too pumped up (like from steroid use), and obviously a regular gym goer for years. But he’s glued to his phone almost the entire time of his 2 hours+ workouts (because he does like 3 super heavy lifts and then rests for ages while scrolling).

I don’t have a rational reason for why I chose to dedicate time observing him except that I like his looks. So for 6 weeks, I subtly tracked his schedule, sat somewhat nearby when my own workout routine put me in his general area, and glanced over every now and again to check him out.

Since he didn’t interact with anyone else and rarely looked up, I was content to just enjoy the eye candy he provided.

So last week, the gym offered a “bring family and friend for free!” week. He brought his brother. I was already at the abduction machines when I noticed them approach and choose the machines further away from me. Nothing strange about that type of gym etiquette. I glance at him whenever possible, careful not to get caught, and do my workout.

Afterwards, I always do some cardio, so I went on the treadmills. They’re positioned in front of windows which let me check on both guys in the reflection (it was already dark out).

Eventually they get up and Gym Guy—who’s been guiding and teaching his non-gym going brother this whole time—tells him that cardio is next and gets his brother onto the treadmill right next to, with Gym Guy choosing the one beside his brother. This wouldn’t be unusual except 1) the other treadmills were free and 2) gym etiquette says to leave one machine empty in between strangers which is an unspoken rule everyone follows.

Since this is the closest proximity we’ve had so far, I’m excited to stare at Gym Guy up close in the window reflection, with him mostly looking down at his phone or exchanging some words of encouragement (and discipline) when his brother wanted to stop early.

Their designated 30 minutes pass. Gym Guy meanders off first towards the disinfectant (it’s mandatory to disinfect every machine you used), they clean their treadmills, and Gym Guy throws one last glance back at me as he took a sip from his water bottle.

I filed this away as him noticing me.

Soon after, I moved to the Leaning Cycling Machines where his brother walked past first, leaving in his outside clothes, and Gym Guy meandered past minutes later to keep working out downstairs. He didn’t make eye contact.

The next day around noon, I’m back at the gym for my usual routine at the Leaning Cycling Machines. Gym Guy arrives soon after as well and walks past me towards the changing rooms.

Now, when he returned in his gym clothes, he had his water bottle between his lips and made eye contact for the first time. And not fleeting eye contact that could’ve been accidental, where you quickly avert your eyes once the other person meets your gaze. When I looked up, he held my gaze. I didn’t look away at all, and after a good second he looked back down at his phone and meandered off.

I didn’t see him for the rest of that session because I stayed upstairs and was focused on an older guy who actively flirts with me.

Six days pass without me seeing him which is mostly consistent with the routine he seems to have.

This Monday, I chose to wear something more attention-grabbing for the first time: a red crop top, but with long darker pants to not deviate too much from my usual outfits. I also put some nice perfume onto the clothing and added a subtle lipgloss and makeup. Right after my first exercise downstairs, I notice him doing Preacher Curls right by the disinfectant bottle. Of course I choose to walk right past him, put some disinfectant on a paper towel and return right past him again. Since I was facing him this time, I quickly checked him out. He was mid-set and didn’t make eye contact. I cleaned my machine and walked right past him again to leave the area for my next exercise.

He didn’t show up upstairs at all that session, so no cardio machine action there.

I thought maybe he has a biweekly schedule and he’d be upstairs on Wednesday (yesterday), but he neither showed up at noon nor evening at the gym at all.

Regardless of whether he’s attracted to me or not, I just want him around for eye candy because he’s built like a brick-house and hot.

I have two other guys there who are similarly attractive, but haven’t noticed me/made eye contact with me yet, also another guy I meet up with outside the gym, so I’ll be fine either way.

But I’m curious if these could be signs of him being attracted but awkward/shy/already in a relationship.

If you need more details, I’ll provide as much as I can!

Thanks in advance!
 

Lilly

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
66
* Grammar edits since I don’t know how to edit this OG thread.

After almost two months of regular gym visits, finally something interesting happened
Eventually they get up and Gym Guy—who’s been guiding and teaching his non-gym going brother this whole time—tells him that cardio is next and gets his brother onto the treadmill right next to *me*, with Gym Guy choosing the one beside his brother.
 

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2023
Messages
1,272
But I’m curious if these could be signs of him being attracted but awkward/shy/already in a relationship.
Yes! Could definitely be.

Thanks for the "female FR". Interesting to read an FR from a woman's perspective.
 

DArtagnan

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 22, 2024
Messages
71
Very interesting, and somehow funny for beginner seducers (like me).

Newby male seducer point-of-view:
"Bro, this girl just made eye contact with me in the gym, then next time, she passed two times in front of me to get her desinfectant, I think she might be interested, she is cute!"
His friend: "Nah man, you are imagining things, a girl doesn't like you just because she looked at you once or passed by you a few times. Don't be dumb! That's not how it works, bro"

Female point-of-view:
"He glanced back at me so I take this as a proof that he noticed me. [...] Of course I choose to walk right past him, ... return right past him again [...] cleaned my machine and walked right past him again"

:D
 

Lilly

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
66
Very interesting, and somehow funny for beginner seducers (like me).

Newby male seducer point-of-view:
"Bro, this girl just made eye contact with me in the gym, then next time, she passed two times in front of me to get her desinfectant, I think she might be interested, she is cute!"
His friend: "Nah man, you are imagining things, a girl doesn't like you just because she looked at you once or passed by you a few times. Don't be dumb! That's not how it works, bro"

Female point-of-view:
"He glanced back at me so I take this as a proof that he noticed me. [...] Of course I choose to walk right past him, ... return right past him again [...] cleaned my machine and walked right past him again"

:D
To be fair, not just eye contact, but extended eye contact that I didn’t break first. He did. That should hold a bit more weight than just a glance, even for non-seducer types, right? But yeah, as women our methods are pretty limited. I plan to smile at him next time he makes eye contact, but so far he hasn’t looked at me directly again + I haven’t seen him since Monday.
 

average_daygamer

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 5, 2025
Messages
320
Very interesting, and somehow funny for beginner seducers (like me).

Newby male seducer point-of-view:
"Bro, this girl just made eye contact with me in the gym, then next time, she passed two times in front of me to get her desinfectant, I think she might be interested, she is cute!"
His friend: "Nah man, you are imagining things, a girl doesn't like you just because she looked at you once or passed by you a few times. Don't be dumb! That's not how it works, bro"

Female point-of-view:
"He glanced back at me so I take this as a proof that he noticed me. [...] Of course I choose to walk right past him, ... return right past him again [...] cleaned my machine and walked right past him again"

:D
This kind of thing makes me wonder how the species has not died out yet.

How does anyone ever get laid with this level of ambiguity?
 

Lilly

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
66
This kind of thing makes me wonder how the species has not died out yet.

How does anyone ever get laid with this level of ambiguity?
Well, I hope that he even clocked my signals and wonders, “Is she interested?”. I plan on continuing to give eye contact with a smile/smirk and make use of any proximity we might have in the future to walk past or choose equipment next to him etc. Eventually, he should recognize a pattern of “She’s around and confident, but makes no move to talk or approach. I better do something myself.”
 

Lilly

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
66
Update: So today (Tuesday evening) is when I expected him to show up again, but the evidence is inconclusive.

I did saw a guy from afar at a machine I never saw my guy use before whose visuals generally fit, but as I was on my way to the water station and the view to his machine is blocked by beams there, I couldn’t subtly check if it was him from up close. The guy also wore a shirt that I think I might’ve seen on my guy before, but I can’t be 100% sure. If so, then I only saw it once.

I went downstairs to use the machines I needed, then returned up and he was gone. I took my time walking through all the areas again (including downstairs), but nope. By 9PM I left because he usually stays for 3+ hours at the gym, so if he’s gone by then, he’s gone.

Possibility Number 1: It wasn’t him. This would mean a pretty significant break in his gym routine that may or may not have to do with me. Up until two weeks ago where he made eye contact, I saw him quite often. But now I haven’t seen him since last week at all despite also going to the gym throughout other days in the morning and evening. So he hasn’t switched up his gym day routine per day, but possibly by time, I don’t know.

Possibility Number 2: It was him. He either switched his Tuesday gym time to go way earlier than usual and leave hours earlier as well (new work schedule, hobbies, family stuff etc.) or he saw me walk to the water station and left soon after to avoid me.

Both possibilities kinda suck. I almost hope it wasn’t him and that he’s been on vacation since last Wednesday or something.

Shit like this is why women auto-reject by the way. You might have genuine reasons to break your usual pattern after making extended eye contact once, but a woman who’s attracted to you WILL interpret your new behavior as having to do with her—and often negatively.

Any thoughts?
 

Skater

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 10, 2024
Messages
40
I don’t have a rational reason for why I chose to dedicate time observing him except that I like his looks.
Welcome to the club lol we'll make a seductress of you yet.

So for 6 weeks, I subtly tracked his schedule, sat somewhat nearby when my own workout routine put me in his general area, and glanced over every now and again to check him out.
Bruh that's creepy as fu- wait. Aww how cute!

When I looked up, he held my gaze. I didn’t look away at all, and after a good second he looked back down at his phone and meandered off.
Not great. You did everything right but he dropped the proverbial ball. He really should not be looking away first but rather forcing you to or approaching immediately.

This was a blatant approach invitation on your part but he either a) pussied out b) wasn't interested. Then again chances are he's not some pickup weirdo like us; but even we struggle with approaching in the tribulations of beginnerhood.

This Monday, I chose to wear something more attention-grabbing for the first time: a red crop top, but with long darker pants to not deviate too much from my usual outfits. I also put some nice perfume onto the clothing and added a subtle lipgloss and makeup.
I love you creatures.

Regardless of whether he’s attracted to me or not, I just want him around for eye candy because he’s built like a brick-house and hot.
Fuck yeah.

But yeah, as women our methods are pretty limited.
Limiting belief. Your mere presence on this forum suggests you are open to new methods.

Well, I hope that he even clocked my signals... Eventually, he should recognize a pattern of “She’s around and confident, but makes no move to talk or approach. I better do something myself.”
Far too much trust in a random gymbro. This subspecies tends to fear females more than usual.

Most guys nowadays are timid, stupid, average frustrated chumps (AFCs) when it comes to the opposite sex. Most girls are not, though this may be slowly shifting.

Shit like this is why women auto-reject by the way. You might have genuine reasons to break your usual pattern after making extended eye contact once, but a woman who’s attracted to you WILL interpret your new behavior as having to do with her—and often negatively.
Fascinating. All the more reason for us guys to empty the mind and approach immediately and forestall such fickleness.

Alright I'm gonna give you some advice, man to man woman. Approach him.
*Gasp*
Yes, I know. But what did you really expect coming to a forum that teaches guys how to nail girls in the most efficient manner possible?

Next time you see him, insinuate yourself in his area as I know you and your kind are more than capable of doing. Then ask him for advice on how to use a machine or your form or whatever (I don't go to the gym). Forget your pride, this is the Game; and besides, pride is a masculine trait and we're trying to be feminine ok? Ok.

Guys love flexing their knowledge, especially for girls, even if they are not necessarily attracted to them. Gymbros about gym stuff especially especially. Pretend to be a bit dumb ("ohhh reaaally??" *Flutter eyelashes/act like a stereotypical blonde*), that usually lights up warning bells that you're not actually about the ostensible topic, in this case the gym.

Then, maneuver the conversation to more personal then interpersonal topics. Flirt with him. At this point if he won't get the hint he is again either a) too much of a pussy to bother with, or b) not interested, (firmly) taken, gay, etc.

Otherwise, it seems you are expending undue attention tracking and hand-wringing over this poor guy. I prescribe to you ye olde medicino seductivo: GFTOWM (go fuck ten other men).

Obviously your female strategy is flawed in some way for you to reach the ripe age of 28 with your chastity intact. Therefore, you must shift to a more male strategy.

Now, go forth and approach!
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
6,199
most people go to the gym to work out, even seducers..... So nobody is going to really cold approach at the gym..... the way around this is group classes in the gym that is were usually the mingling occurs....
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Lilly

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
66
Welcome to the club lol we'll make a seductress of you yet.


Bruh that's creepy as fu- wait. Aww how cute!


Not great. You did everything right but he dropped the proverbial ball. He really should not be looking away first but rather forcing you to or approaching immediately.

This was a blatant approach invitation on your part but he either a) pussied out b) wasn't interested. Then again chances are he's not some pickup weirdo like us; but even we struggle with approaching in the tribulations of beginnerhood.


I love you creatures.


Fuck yeah.


Limiting belief. Your mere presence on this forum suggests you are open to new methods.


Far too much trust in a random gymbro. This subspecies tends to fear females more than usual.

Most guys nowadays are timid, stupid, average frustrated chumps (AFCs) when it comes to the opposite sex. Most girls are not, though this may be slowly shifting.


Fascinating. All the more reason for us guys to empty the mind and approach immediately and forestall such fickleness.

Alright I'm gonna give you some advice, man to man woman. Approach him.
*Gasp*
Yes, I know. But what did you really expect coming to a forum that teaches guys how to nail girls in the most efficient manner possible?

Next time you see him, insinuate yourself in his area as I know you and your kind are more than capable of doing. Then ask him for advice on how to use a machine or your form or whatever (I don't go to the gym). Forget your pride, this is the Game; and besides, pride is a masculine trait and we're trying to be feminine ok? Ok.

Guys love flexing their knowledge, especially for girls, even if they are not necessarily attracted to them. Gymbros about gym stuff especially especially. Pretend to be a bit dumb ("ohhh reaaally??" *Flutter eyelashes/act like a stereotypical blonde*), that usually lights up warning bells that you're not actually about the ostensible topic, in this case the gym.

Then, maneuver the conversation to more personal then interpersonal topics. Flirt with him. At this point if he won't get the hint he is again either a) too much of a pussy to bother with, or b) not interested, (firmly) taken, gay, etc.

Otherwise, it seems you are expending undue attention tracking and hand-wringing over this poor guy. I prescribe to you ye olde medicino seductivo: GFTOWM (go fuck ten other men).

Obviously your female strategy is flawed in some way for you to reach the ripe age of 28 with your chastity intact. Therefore, you must shift to a more male strategy.

Now, go forth and approach!
Thanks for the detailed feedback!

I haven’t seen him in over a week now unfortunately. His most reliable times were usually Tuesday and Wednesday, so I really expected him to show up today, but no. I was ready to increase proximity or even greet him if I’d been seeing him at the gym, but he’s been absent at his usual (and my) usual times.

I had no idea gym guys feared women more than average men. That blows. As for the eye contact moment, it probably flew under his radar after all. I haven’t seen any other guys approaching women at the gym during all these weeks, and no one’s hit on me even when I’m in makeup (the most guys seem to dare do are smiles and some exaggerated blinks), so hitting on people really isn’t common. He might not even be in the proper headspace to connect “attraction” with “pumping iron”.

If I see him, I’ll keep your advice in mind. The question is if I’ll see him again any time soon.

Thank you!
 

Lilly

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
66
most people go to the gym to work out, even seducers..... So nobody is going to really cold approach at the gym..... the way around this is group classes in the gym that is were usually the mingling occurs....
True, but there are no hot guys in the group classes. Especially not the guy I’m attracted to. He’s a lone wolf bodybuilder type.
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
350
You are developing oneitis and you have not really even talked to him. Watch out!
 
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