How could a woman use this site?

[POB]

Lovergirl was married to a pastor... Has 5 kids or more...

g-zus

Ok so we agree i think people that did not experience the PTSD we had.. look at this answers and think we may be misogynyst red pillers...

It was a shitshow to be honest...but the personalities there were def not compatible.

 

[504]

From the point of view of value, I see no reason for a woman to be allowed to participate on seduction fora.

I do indeed mean it in the way of "females not permitted".

Only experienced butch lesbians would be a borderline fit...(only half serious)

I don't mean it as a slight against the OP, she seems chill, but in general...despite Skilled Seducer being a stable forum, it is still a very endangered species. Alloweing females inside just endangers it further IMHO.

I do understand the POV such as "ah man don't take it so serious" but still.

 

[Atlas IV]

@StrayDog hit the nail on the head with his response.

Being a 28 year old, decent-looking, virgin woman who is obsessed with reading pickup advice for men is not normal. That very likely points to neurodivergence.

And given that you have almost exclusively male friends, you likely give off a masculine energy as @Skills pointed out, which is sub-communicating non-sexual vibes to the sexually available men around you.

If I were you I would focus less on trying to understand how men think and more on cultivating your feminine side. Much as we work on our masculine fundamentals knowing that it attracts women on a subconscious level, you need to focus on developing your femininity in a way that attracts men.

You can only learn that from women, not men. So you really aren't going to gain much from this forum or reading more GirlsChase.

 

[StrayDog]

@StrayDog hit the nail on the head with his response.

Being a 28 year old, decent-looking, virgin woman who is obsessed with reading pickup advice for men is not normal. That very likely points to neurodivergence.

And given that you have almost exclusively male friends, you likely give off a masculine energy as @Skills pointed out, which is sub-communicating non-sexual vibes to the sexually available men around you.

If I were you I would focus less on trying to understand how men think and more on cultivating your feminine side. Much as we work on our masculine fundamentals knowing that it attracts women on a subconscious level, you need to focus on developing your femininity in a way that attracts men.

You can only learn that from women, not men. So you really aren't going to gain much from this forum or reading more GirlsChase.

this is also why I later pointed out that her male friends girlfriends don't see her as competition. not that she needs to actively compete with them, but my intuition is telling me she doesn't project a very sexual/seductive feminine vibe, that would naturally feel like competition to these women. even without trying.

but yes ultimately not something that can be learned from men

 

[Teevster]

Lovergirl was married to a pastor

From gloryholy to gloryhole.

 

[KJ Francis]

My appearance isn’t an issue. I’m in good shape, using weights at home and cycling, slim figure, long hair. If anything my problem is seeing men I’m instinctively attracted to physically.

That's good... There is a lot more to attraction, but the attention you get and increasing the number of men who will approach you can shift significantly if you pass that threshold of having a head turning figure. Most guys don't approach, and even the GC readers who really actively want to approach struggle with approach anxiety. So having that magnetism can help since ultimately you need to get him to open you. In my opinion a lot of fashion is just about drawing initial eyes and highlighting your figure or teasing it.

It is just for my personal ease of wrapping my head around the whole concept of mating to form a mental model based on the evolution of sexual interest as serving sexual reproduction. It eliminates a lot of confusion by having a guiding light back to the concept of does this help spread, protect, and nurture our genes.

Beyond just slimness, I personally would not have an LTR with a woman who was not HEALTHY. As in a healthy body chemistry. Guys have different standards for a lay. If she does not take care of herself, I won't trust her to birth or feed our kids well. So yes my advice is not game (which as Skills says you will find is more post-lay to keep him), it is mainly to eat your vegetables.

I believe Vision was mentioned in the book The Game. If that's the same Vision, I am going to take a guess that he is well worth looking into and would be a thousand times more knowledgeable than the average poster here.

If you are not finding men you are attracted to, you may need actual strategy from someone. It definitely sounds like you are low volume and need to put yourself out there way more.

Best of luck

 

[Lilly]

@StrayDog hit the nail on the head with his response.

Being a 28 year old, decent-looking, virgin woman who is obsessed with reading pickup advice for men is not normal. That very likely points to neurodivergence.

And given that you have almost exclusively male friends, you likely give off a masculine energy as @Skills pointed out, which is sub-communicating non-sexual vibes to the sexually available men around you.

If I were you I would focus less on trying to understand how men think and more on cultivating your feminine side. Much as we work on our masculine fundamentals knowing that it attracts women on a subconscious level, you need to focus on developing your femininity in a way that attracts men.

You can only learn that from women, not men. So you really aren't going to gain much from this forum or reading more GirlsChase.

Being a virgin at my age isn’t normal, I agree. It’s also true that I definitely have a masculine imprint in my vibe and thinking which made me befriend boys more than girls since childhood.

I’ve also noticed a pattern that mostly too old men (50+) approach me and show attraction to me. The ratio between old men vs young men is about 4:1. I’ve been going out more alone and a 61 year old man invited me out for a drink and asked for my number, which I regret giving him because what’s the use? Not sure how I’ll get out of that situation yet.

I suppose I should find girl friends my age then, huh? Oof. My kryptonite. I admittedly suck at keeping women my age around because our interests tend to be very different.

Do you think though that women would give me genuine advice on attracting men though? Wouldn’t they rather give me wrong info to sabotage and kick out potential competition (since that topic came up earlier)?

 

[gameboy]

I’ve also noticed a pattern that mostly too old men (50+) approach me and show attraction to me.

Why is 50+ too old?

Genuine question. I'm 51 myself.

 

[Skills]

Being a virgin at my age isn’t normal, I agree. It’s also true that I definitely have a masculine imprint in my vibe and thinking which made me befriend boys more than girls since childhood.

A lot of gen z are virgin longer is becoming new normal, but i don't remember your age

I’ve also noticed a pattern that mostly too old men (50+) approach me and show attraction to me. The ratio between old men vs young men is about 4:1. I’ve been going out more alone and a 61 year old man invited me out for a drink and asked for my number, which I regret giving him because what’s the use? Not sure how I’ll get out of that situation yet.

Because probably the normie 50 plus have been dealing with more masculine type women lol...

I suppose I should find girl friends my age then, huh? Oof. My kryptonite. I admittedly suck at keeping women my age around because our interests tend to be very different.

you don't need to necessarily have to do that, just find a way to be more feminine... Like a lot of gay bottom are hyper feminine, that is good sample... There needs to be polarity, being feminine is very attractive.... When women become masculine or hardened is not attractive at all... this is your main issue... Feminine:

- dresses and skirts, shorts, tight clothing
- tight tops
-make up
-high pitch voice
- no hair everywhere other than hair
- soft movements,, delicate, mannerisms
-earrings
-long hair
-submissive
-in dancing light in other words if i am going to give her a turn is feather vs feeling like i am moving a 10 pound dumbel...
-very vulnerable and emotional..

Do you think though that women would give me genuine advice on attracting men though? Wouldn’t they rather give me wrong info to sabotage and kick out potential competition (since that topic came up earlier)?

yes and no look at this, it seems you guys are having the same issue we have in the community lol:

 

[Lilly]

Why is 50+ too old?

Genuine question. I'm 51 myself.

Because I want to find a husband close to my age with whom to have kids and enjoy a long marriage with. An age gap of 30 years is way too big for that.

 

[TomInHo]

yes and no look at this, it seems you guys are having the same issue we have in the community lol:

Lol TheWizardLiz is such a grifter

It's so funny because if her audience ignored her bullshit advice but instead focused on getting in shape, clearing up their skin, getting Botox and filler, dressing sexy and presenting more "girly" they would be "Manifesting" more attractive men that love to spoil them more easily

I'm sorry but I have NEVER met a woman that was legit gorgeous that had any lack of options or men trying to lock her down in a relationship

Female supreme currency is beauty and none of this divine feminine manifestation crap

@Lilly get some HOT female friends and copy them. You don't even need direct advice from them, and instead just watch how they carry themselves and do your best to emulate

But if you don't want to do all that then you have to embrace who you are. If you truly are masculine then you should be approaching more men tbh

The man you may end up with may not be traditionally masculine but it doesn't matter. You may find that you actually like that setup

I actually have a client like that. She is pretty masculine and her first husband was also traditionally masculine too. But during the marriage they had all kinds of problems so they divorced

She re married again but this time to a more feminine man. She actually had to approach him first and lead the beginning of the relationship

And even though their relationship isn't traditional, they are incredibly happy with each other and have been together for over 15 years now

So you have a choice, can either work to become more feminine to attract someone masculine. Or embrace your masculine side and get someone leaning more feminine

Because from observing my client I've learned about the importance of polarity in relationships. But also learned that for polarity to occur the man doesn't always need to be the masculine one

 

[Lilly]

Lol TheWizardLiz is such a grifter

It's so funny because if her audience ignored her bullshit advice but instead focused on getting in shape, clearing up their skin, getting Botox and filler, dressing sexy and presenting more "girly" they would be "Manifesting" more attractive men that love to spoil them more easily

I'm sorry but I have NEVER met a woman that was legit gorgeous that had any lack of options or men trying to lock her down in a relationship

Female supreme currency is beauty and none of this divine feminine manifestation crap

@Lilly get some HOT female friends and copy them. You don't even need direct advice from them, and instead just watch how they carry themselves and do your best to emulate

But if you don't want to do all that then you have to embrace who you are. If you truly are masculine then you should be approaching more men tbh

The man you may end up with may not be traditionally masculine but it doesn't matter. You may find that you actually like that setup

I actually have a client like that. She is pretty masculine and her first husband was also traditionally masculine too. But during the marriage they had all kinds of problems so they divorced

She re married again but this time to a more feminine man. She actually had to approach him first and lead the beginning of the relationship

And even though their relationship isn't traditional, they are incredibly happy with each other and have been together for over 15 years now

So you have a choice, can either work to become more feminine to attract someone masculine. Or embrace your masculine side and get someone leaning more feminine

Because from observing my client I've learned about the importance of polarity in relationships. But also learned that for polarity to occur the man doesn't always need to be the masculine one

Great point and I know the inverse of the usual polarity works for couples, too. But when I said I have masculine traits I meant interests, hobbies and thought/logic patterns that are less emotional and more practical leaning. However, I still am attracted to masculinity and prefer to have a man be the active partner.

I’ve actually approached men years ago, but was immediately turned off by the mere fact that I was doing the approach and not the guy. It felt immediately platonic and didn’t encourage any flirting from the men either.

I mean, I’m certainly not gorgeous. But I’m not ugly or unattractive either. Like many people I’m a “type” and the men who resemble me have been most attracted to me (though they were way too old or already taken). A lack of luck might play into it as well.

Thank you for the open-minded advice!

 

[Skills]

Lol TheWizardLiz is such a grifter

It's so funny because if her audience ignored her bullshit advice but instead focused on getting in shape, clearing up their skin, getting Botox and filler, dressing sexy and presenting more "girly" they would be "Manifesting" more attractive men that love to spoil them more easily

I'm sorry but I have NEVER met a woman that was legit gorgeous that had any lack of options or men trying to lock her down in a relationship

Female supreme currency is beauty and none of this divine feminine manifestation crap

@Lilly get some HOT female friends and copy them. You don't even need direct advice from them, and instead just watch how they carry themselves and do your best to emulate

But if you don't want to do all that then you have to embrace who you are. If you truly are masculine then you should be approaching more men tbh

The man you may end up with may not be traditionally masculine but it doesn't matter. You may find that you actually like that setup

I actually have a client like that. She is pretty masculine and her first husband was also traditionally masculine too. But during the marriage they had all kinds of problems so they divorced

She re married again but this time to a more feminine man. She actually had to approach him first and lead the beginning of the relationship

And even though their relationship isn't traditional, they are incredibly happy with each other and have been together for over 15 years now

So you have a choice, can either work to become more feminine to attract someone masculine. Or embrace your masculine side and get someone leaning more feminine

Because from observing my client I've learned about the importance of polarity in relationships. But also learned that for polarity to occur the man doesn't always need to be the masculine one

yes i said the same, look hot, women don't need game...... I had a post on nextafc saying extactly that "women don't need game" was the title... i think i also said the same in every women post...

be hot, and also be good in bed.... That is women game, then containment...

women that look hot they also get reality distortions when they get older and lose some of the looks...Botox land...I don't find the wizard attractive look at her ears... but white guys like that type...

 

[Skills]

Great point and I know the inverse of the usual polarity works for couples, too. But when I said I have masculine traits I meant interests, hobbies and thought/logic patterns that are less emotional and more practical leaning. However, I still am attracted to masculinity and prefer to have a man be the active partner.

I’ve actually approached men years ago, but was immediately turned off by the mere fact that I was doing the approach and not the guy. It felt immediately platonic and didn’t encourage any flirting from the men either.

I mean, I’m certainly not gorgeous. But I’m not ugly or unattractive either. Like many people I’m a “type” and the men who resemble me have been most attracted to me (though they were way too old or already taken). A lack of luck might play into it as well.

Thank you for the open-minded advice!

these are one openers conversation starters:

- do you have a lighter (if you smoke, and i hope you don't, turn off)

- Gen z usually says "i like your style" or any fashion complement...

- or if you want to make him work, have him take a picture of you, there is actually one dude here that got laid doing that he calls it the picture routine...though i usually teach this opener to women, but he did it as a dude lol...

^ but yes even advance guys get thrown off, when women open and take the masculine role i explain guys the dynamics and how to deal with that, cause is believe or not for a lot of guys, difficult, though i think with gen z is becoming normal now...

or you can do none verbal stuff we call it "open body language/overextansions/dtf signs" the thing is if you do it right you will get both guys that you want and the guys that you don't, Lilly, learn how to get open (watch my video when you get a chance for none verbal ways to get open):

 

[Skills]

Because I want to find a husband close to my age with whom to have kids and enjoy a long marriage with. An age gap of 30 years is way too big for that.

the only time you will find a dude that is 50 plus fucked you, will be too late.... by the time you know his age you will have onitis...

@gameboy why are you worrying about this brother i hope you are not telling women you are 51 jesus!

 

[mirror]

I’m a woman and I’ve been reading GirlsChase for several years now. I’ve learned about my female psychology thanks to the insights of the men here and can confirm a ton of info from personal experience.

I’d love to know if women can apply at least some of the concepts here in their pursuits with men, maybe tips to encourage men to approach or places to go to meet “high quality” guys, both for short-term and long-term/marriage.

Unfortunately, most men on the planet don’t read this site, and women are basically delegated to a mostly passive role during courtship by nature. If there’s some advice or ideas, I’d appreciate it.

Hi Lilly,

I have a friend that has been reading up into seduction for years (but not recently). She is female, if you want i can send you her contact details.

That said, I think the first thing you need to do is define what is high quality and what you are truly looking for long-term. Focusing on the short-term is just a distraction from what you truly want out of it.
A lot of guys here forget their long-term goal and it's a mess.

So first define what you want out of it partner wise. That doesn't necessarily need to be different for males and females. The moment you reach overabundance, you realize that there is a pattern in what you want and need.

For example, you could be looking for:

• someone with similar energy/tension levels,
• someone that is compassionate and the amount of empathy you find interesting
  • note that it has to match you as well,
    • you can have someone with a lot of empathy, but if that person is not capable of expressing it to you in a way you can (learn to) accept, than it would not work
    • you can want someone that doesn't have a lot of empathy because in your worldview, empathy is weakness, then you simply can not settle for someone that wants to give money to every beggar on his or her path.
• someone you can level with
• someone you have objectively good physical chemistry with
• someone that can understand you up to a certain level that's more than the average.
• someone that doesn't bore
• someone that's not so smart you don't understand him or her and that doesn't respect you.
• someone that's not so high ego he or she can't leave you in your own value.
• someone that respects you and your wishes but also pushes back where needed
• someone that's not so different it leads to burnout
• more superficial things like fitting into family, career, country, money/social standing
• someone you can talk with and discuss things with like future plans and wishes. (you need to be able to discuss what you want and the other person wants, without it turning into a fight)
• someone that knows compromise exists, as well as maximizing value for each other
• someone with intellectual scope
• someone with emotional awareness
• someone with social awareness
• random skills linked to genetics (music, athletics, drawing/fine motor skills, acting, dancing, singing, practical skills, visualisation skills, memorization skills, etc.)
• social/cultural norms and values
• flexibility
• mental awareness of lazyness and other things.
• etc. etc. etc.

So yes, whatever you do ( you could just have sex or look for a partner shortterm)
In the end, most people want the best match possible for them (and this is subjective!)
so be aware of what you are evaluating at the other person (!!!)
even one small meeting in some cases can already disqualify a person from being interesting, why invest your time and energy in sex or gaining their attention if they are not worth it to you.

Regards,

Mirror.

 

[mirror]

I suppose I don’t assume sexual intentions because I’m a virgin (and unkissed and un-dated). In fact, I don’t view men as very sexual beings, probably because none of them have ever acted sexual in my presence. I’ve also never been cat-called or randomly approached or experienced any other stereotypical “guy thing” feminists complain about. Men just walk around, staring off into space or at their phones, just existing and not obstructing my life path.

Do you miss this? would you rather have they would do it?

I’ve also noticed a pattern that mostly too old men (50+) approach me and show attraction to me. The ratio between old men vs young men is about 4:1. I’ve been going out more alone and a 61 year old man invited me out for a drink and asked for my number, which I regret giving him because what’s the use? Not sure how I’ll get out of that situation yet.

Next time you can always give a fake number
Regarding the old guys thing.. I think you need an image make-over. try to maybe pinterest some on styles or ideas you like and feel are similar to you / would work for you.

I suppose I should find girl friends my age then, huh? Oof. My kryptonite. I admittedly suck at keeping women my age around because our interests tend to be very different.

send me. I will see whether i can link you to my old friend.

 

[StrayDog]

Hi Lilly,

I have a friend that has been reading up into seduction for years (but not recently). She is female, if you want i can send you her contact details.

That said, I think the first thing you need to do is define what is high quality and what you are truly looking for long-term. Focusing on the short-term is just a distraction from what you truly want out of it.
A lot of guys here forget their long-term goal and it's a mess.

So first define what you want out of it partner wise. That doesn't necessarily need to be different for males and females. The moment you reach overabundance, you realize that there is a pattern in what you want and need.

For example, you could be looking for:

• someone with similar energy/tension levels,
• someone that is compassionate and the amount of empathy you find interesting
  • note that it has to match you as well,
    • you can have someone with a lot of empathy, but if that person is not capable of expressing it to you in a way you can (learn to) accept, than it would not work
    • you can want someone that doesn't have a lot of empathy because in your worldview, empathy is weakness, then you simply can not settle for someone that wants to give money to every beggar on his or her path.
• someone you can level with
• someone you have objectively good physical chemistry with
• someone that can understand you up to a certain level that's more than the average.
• someone that doesn't bore
• someone that's not so smart you don't understand him or her and that doesn't respect you.
• someone that's not so high ego he or she can't leave you in your own value.
• someone that respects you and your wishes but also pushes back where needed
• someone that's not so different it leads to burnout
• more superficial things like fitting into family, career, country, money/social standing
• someone you can talk with and discuss things with like future plans and wishes. (you need to be able to discuss what you want and the other person wants, without it turning into a fight)
• someone that knows compromise exists, as well as maximizing value for each other
• someone with intellectual scope
• someone with emotional awareness
• someone with social awareness
• random skills linked to genetics (music, athletics, drawing/fine motor skills, acting, dancing, singing, practical skills, visualisation skills, memorization skills, etc.)
• social/cultural norms and values
• flexibility
• mental awareness of lazyness and other things.
• etc. etc. etc.

So yes, whatever you do ( you could just have sex or look for a partner shortterm)
In the end, most people want the best match possible for them (and this is subjective!)
so be aware of what you are evaluating at the other person (!!!)
even one small meeting in some cases can already disqualify a person from being interesting, why invest your time and energy in sex or gaining their attention if they are not worth it to you.

Regards,

Mirror.

I am not sure an overly complicated checklist of what she wants in her "ideal man" is going to help here.
For one, women already tend to do this and it can often get in the way of being flexible when it comes to meeting the men that they actually have in their lives, where they are at.


I think OP has already been given to a of practical advice to act on here. Honestly I think the more we throw down the more it over complicates an otherwise simple issue.

The key here at this point is action. Taking steps. seeing. what works, what doesn't. and adjusting.

 

[mirror]

The key here at this point is action.

Ok. Lets make it simple:

She wants to signal being DTF.
She must have some friends that are male that would be open to it.
She simply needs to learn how to spot them. Signal to them she is DTF by being DIRECT and then take a step back,
make them chase a time or 2 and then have sex with them.

easy enough?

 

[mirror]

It's wild some of the things you girls have to go through to get the guys you really want

Girls need some game too

Ha-Ha,
We as guys put in all the effort and they just get to have all the fun =)