How could a woman use this site?

[mirror]

If he accepts my frame of “Hey, this isn’t a date or anything, I can pay for myself”, then I know he’s not interested.

As a guy, a girl saying that just disconnects me from her, unless she does it very attractively for whatsoever reason.

Rule #1: insecure men can't handle you saying you can pay for yourself.
They want to feel they have you on the hook and otherwise start pulling away

Rule #2: provider type men don't like you saying that, because they want to feel proud of themselves when they pay for you

Rule #3: role-playing guys don't like you saying that because it may feel like a shit-test and anti-feminine

Rule #4: guys that love femininity as a concept and define it as submissiveness OR entitledment, can think such a direct approach is not desirable in a girl.

Rule #5: cocky men can go two ways with this statement: first one is: ok nice, she can pay for herself, i don't need to pay; second one is the outcome you want, but it's very culture dependent and also on their own ego dependent.
Don't forget in the beginning it's a game of attraction and a play.

Rule #6: a good partner is someone that knows when to allow someone else to take care of him or her; that's a hard one though.

Rule #7: if you risk coming across as having a tad of masculine energy, not letting a guy pay is not going to help it at all! Letting a guy pay can also signal a high value woman to some not PUA guys. Don't allow what guys at this forum like be the only example of what to accept from men.

 

[mirror]

Academic men have lost their appeal since the plandemic. They became authority-addicted drones and lost all sense of self-preservation. Now that I’m more mature, I’m attracted to social savvy men who don’t blindly follow the herd (and also didn’t take the mRNA jabs since I want healthy kids).

Oh Lilly, I am here you only need to look at me once.. I can help you out

 

[Skills]

Oh Lilly, I am here you only need to look at me once.. I can help you out

Brah! Didn't i describe this type of dude on what happens when females post...

 

[StrayDog]

Brah! Didn't i describe this type of dude on what happens when females post...

facepalm

 

[gameboy]

As a guy, a girl saying that just disconnects me from her, unless she does it very attractively for whatsoever reason.

Rule #1: insecure men can't handle you saying you can pay for yourself.
They want to feel they have you on the hook and otherwise start pulling away

Rule #2: provider type men don't like you saying that, because they want to feel proud of themselves when they pay for you

Rule #3: role-playing guys don't like you saying that because it may feel like a shit-test and anti-feminine

Rule #4: guys that love femininity as a concept and define it as submissiveness OR entitledment, can think such a direct approach is not desirable in a girl.

Rule #5: cocky men can go two ways with this statement: first one is: ok nice, she can pay for herself, i don't need to pay; second one is the outcome you want, but it's very culture dependent and also on their own ego dependent.
Don't forget in the beginning it's a game of attraction and a play.

Rule #6: a good partner is someone that knows when to allow someone else to take care of him or her; that's a hard one though.

Rule #7: if you risk coming across as having a tad of masculine energy, not letting a guy pay is not going to help it at all! Letting a guy pay can also signal a high value woman to some not PUA guys. Don't allow what guys at this forum like be the only example of what to accept from men.

Complete nonsense. I've laid girls who suggested to split the bill, as well as girls who (*gasp*) invited me. I just tell them I'll pay next time and we're good.

Where do you get those "rules" from?

 

[StrayDog]

Complete nonsense. I've laid girls who suggested to split the bill, as well as girls who (*gasp*) invited me. I just tell them I'll pay next time and we're good.

Where do you get those "rules" from?

facepalm

 

[StrayDog]

Ok. Lets make it simple:

She wants to signal being DTF.
She must have some friends that are male that would be open to it.
She simply needs to learn how to spot them. Signal to them she is DTF by being DIRECT and then take a step back,
make them chase a time or 2 and then have sex with them.

easy enough?

personally I feel like OP has plenty to work with, and I am not interested in breaking down a bullet point for her because I don't want to presume what she sees as valuable steps, or cheat her of the opportunity to destil the information for herself first

 

[mirror]

I am not sure an overly complicated checklist of what she wants in her "ideal man" is going to help here.

It's not about finding the "ideal" but your ideal. It's also about priming & awareness.
If you prime yourself to notice or pay attention to the things you find important, you are less likely to end up in a relationship with someone that doesnt work.
For girls & women getting sex often is not the largest challenge, but finding and recognizing the right person to settle with can be a challenge.

 

[StrayDog]

It's not about finding the "ideal" but your ideal. It's also about priming & awareness.
If you prime yourself to notice or pay attention to the things you find important, you are less likely to end up in a relationship with someone that doesnt work.
For girls & women getting sex often is not the largest challenge, but finding and recognizing the right person to settle with can be a challenge.

she is a twenty eight year old virgin. what she needs is real world experience that she can reference. both with male partners, and female role models. that is how she will be able pay attention to things she finds important. By have new experiences with men that she can directly reference.

As long as this is missing, it will all just remain abstractions in her mind.

 

[KJ Francis]

Good body language guides for the field @Lilly and @Mensa Reject might be

Tracey Cox - Superflirt
Leil Lowndes - Undercover Sex Signals

Both by women (albeit for men) with photos for everything

 

[gameboy]

facepalm

You can facepalm all you want, but the OP first of all needs to get laid (like many others here, including myself). Memorizing arbitrary rules isn't going to help, but will just get her more into her head and make things more complicated.

It may be easy for some women, but obviously isn't for her. I don't know where she's from, but if she's in a culture similar to mine, my advice would be: 1. dress sexy, 2. go to a bar, 3.talk to people.

 

[mirror]

my advice would be: 1. dress sexy, 2. go to a bar, 3.talk to people.

Can make it even easier.

Don't need to talk. Don't need to dress sexy.
Just straight up walk up to a guy in a bar after 2-4am, make eyecontact, touch him. If he responds positively: tell him "i want you, come home with me".
It's not so hard to get laid for women.

she is a twenty eight year old virgin. what she needs is real world experience that she can reference. both with male partners, and female role models.

I actually wonder how much she already has, assuming she has been like, around guys all her life.

The girlfriends part might be harder

 

[StrayDog]

I actually wonder how much she already has, assuming she has been like, around guys all her life.

The girlfriends part might be harder

being around guys is worlds apart from being in navigating the dynamics that arise once a sexual or relational dynamic has begun

 

[StrayDog]

You can facepalm all you want, but the OP first of all needs to get laid (like many others here, including myself). Memorizing arbitrary rules isn't going to help, but will just get her more into her head and make things more complicated.

I was facepalming mirrors list. not your post.

In retrospect, I can kind of see where he was coming from. But you can't predict how individuals respond to things like these. For every point he made, which may be valid for one individual or another, the truth can be said about the opposite. Where some guy likes x y z, because x y z.

That's why I think getting hung up on things like who buys who drinks can be arbitrary (for both men and women).

 

[mirror]

That's why I think getting hung up on things like who buys who drinks can be arbitrary (for both men and women).

Fair enough. Totally agree that high value men like us would not care