Date Plans How to MOVE FAST to get the Meet-Up without coming off “needy” or “try-hard?”

[AdamC]

I feel this is an interesting question for a beginner or intermediate based on a Social Circle, Night Game set I had this Wednesday. It seems to still be in play but we’ll see what happens.

I can provide more details as needed, but it felt as if I could have pulled this girl Wednesday night, IF she wasn’t at the venue with her sister, and GF with her BF.

Also, my Buddy, The Magician performing at the bar/entertainment venue, who invited me to attend Wednesday - She is a long time friend - and I actually suspect she’s an Ex of his, given how they socialized together. His current GF was there, and I hung out with her during the show. She’s cool, very attractive, but not my type - she perhaps provided social-proof, or pre-selection.

Well, so it all depends on “The Eye of the Beholder” but I see her as being an 8, whereas many guys within her “group,” including my Magician buddy would probably see her as a 10. She’s a sun-bleached blonde 5’9 Hipster with a-lot of tattoos, very tan, b-breasts with pretty good nipples (no bra underneath shirt) born in Kiev, but just moved back to Los Angeles 2 weeks ago from Portland, after living there for 7 years.

She came to surprise the Magician to say hello. He’s an all tattoo Hipster as well… Good performer!

I teased the hell out of her, included a-lot of sex frames, did a “couples projection,” of “I’m not offering, but if you and I did a road trip to Crater Lake and Oregon, where else would you take me?” She bit, and said we’d go to Bend, Oregon, do stuff, and then to a couple other places and then end-up at “Sassy’s Strip Club in Portand, because she likes to hang out with the girls who dance there, and thinks it’s a fun place. I asked if she were in quote “entertainment?” She said “No,” she actually is a Manager for a Power Utility Company working in both the administrative and technical departments.

My goal was to try and meet-up (and score her) Thursday, 4th of July evening, if not soon this weekend.

Here is the text conversation:

Wednesday 10:55pm
Me: Hey it’s Adam C
Her: Hi Adam

Thursday (July 4th) 2pm
Me: Fun meeting you last night at La Cerveza
Me: I bet you bought plenty of fancy sunscreen for your crazy pool party today - right?
(Call-back humor to our evening joking about sunscreen and I included a screen-grab pic of Noble panacea $335 sunscreen)

Thursday (July 4th) 2:46pm
Her: LOL I wore sunscreen but it definitely isn’t “60 doses” for $335 sunscreen.

Thursday (July 4th) 3:23pm
Me: Well like L’Oreal says - “your worth it!”
Me: Wait, so your pool party is over already?

NO RESPONSE

Thursday (July 4th) 7:30pm
Me: Probably gonna photograph fireworks from this spot, but no concrete plans…
(Included cool pic of panoramic view of San Fernando Valley from Mulholland Drive)

Thursday (July 4th) 2:46pm
Her: Party isn’t over and that spot looks nice

Didn’t know what else to say, not going to invite myself to her GF’s pool party…

Friday 11:00am
Me: This spot was nice
Me: So, what does your schedule look like for the next couple of days?

Friday 11:29am
Her: I’m busy this weekend and Monday, but am free outside of work after that

Friday 1:00pm
Me: Ahha… That’s cool
Not sure what next week looks like
Me: Curious-what wild adventures are you getting into this weekend?

Friday 1:00pm
Her: It’s one of my best friends birthdays and then some other stuff

Friday 1:01pm
Her: But most of will be around her special weekend

Her last text was sent while I was typing…

Friday 1:02pm
Me: Wow! “Some other stuff” sounds Amazing! :/

---

NO RESPONSE - END (I imagine until Monday, if I care to move forward…)

NOW, I was trying to make a joke about - “Some other stuff”

But in reality, based on my “warped view” as a result of a-lot of painful experiences, what comes to mind when I hear “Some other stuff” is she profusely sweating while getting banged aggressively by a Hipster Guy she met last night at the pool party, who was invited through the social circle, and or she meeting “billy at the bar” this weekend with her GF’s birthday weekend - as she allocates me to “Boyfriend Status,” and hopefully not friendzone!

I’m not Hipster, but I’m not suit and tie. I do have a creative flare because of my photography. But I am pretty clean-cut, and have trouble shaking off the "Boyfriendzone thingy..." In my view what might make her a 10, is if she didn’t have the tattoos (or very ,minimal), had cream, or an extremely light tan skin, and had (REAL) D-breast like the OF “One Special Girl,” who kinda set the standard for me bodywise. (very similar to Andrea the Romanian with voluptuous athletic body and DD breasts! I LOVE those Romanian, Hungarian/eastern-block girls!) Again - it's all in the "eye of the beholder!"

Anyway…
Thoughts?
Suggestions?

 

[Will_V]

Two points:

Me: Well like L’Oreal says - “your worth it!”

That's a little bit of a chasey/overvalidating joke, and it comes off like covert sexual interest. Predictably, she didn't reply and you were forced to double text.

Friday 11:29am
Her: I’m busy this weekend and Monday, but am free outside of work after that

Friday 1:00pm
Me: Ahha… That’s cool
Not sure what next week looks like
Me: Curious-what wild adventures are you getting into this weekend?

First she basically gives you the green light for next week, and then you throw it back in her face while asking her what she'll be doing this weekend without you .. who cares?

Best move would have been to tentatively lock in a time for next week, e.g.

"Cool, not sure what next week looks like for me, I'll be <doing some exciting thing> but let's tentatively lock in wednesday evening for that drink?"

Instead now it's very hard for you to bring back the thread of when she's free so you can take it any further.

 

[Skills]

In addition, Again, a major issue you are having is:

blah
wait a day or hours
blah
wait a day or hours
blah

^ horrible.... death sentence now a days...

Some different tweaks for seduction in new era...

These are already discuss in the forum in other places and in my yearly reviews but it is just a bit of adjustments: - Try texting faster.- This one is HUGE, back in the day we advice to match her response time, so if she took an hour to text back you take an hour and 10 minutes at least...

www.skilledseducer.com

Calls & Texts - The importance of Momentum when it comes to Texting

First what is momentum: -The strength or force that something has when it is moving. : the strength or force that allows something to continue or to grow stronger or faster as time passes. : the property that a moving object has due to its mass and its motion. Before I make my point i will...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[gameboy]

Me: Wow! “Some other stuff” sounds Amazing! :/

Comes across butt hurt... no wonder she didnt reply.

 

[AdamC]

All interesting incite...
Again, I think it's good for beginner/intermediates here to work out these quirks.

Going backwards here:
1. "Wow! “Some other stuff” sounds Amazing! :/" - was actually supposed to be a tease focusing on "some other stuff," vs, whatever she's doing with her gf, or whatever else. In my mind, if it were in-person it would be like: "some other stuff," goofy look - that's sounds amazing -eye roll, ideally getting an "lol from her."
Guess it needs some work in translation from what it would feel like in person, vs. text
Didn't know or realize it had a butt hurt connotation

2. I've always had a challenging time with quick responses as coming off "needy," or "try-hard," especially during a holiday period where as a high-value guy, unless it's direct plans, or a direct request you get back, when you get back cuz you're doing amazing shit, ideally within 12-24 hours...

3. Me: Curious-what wild adventures are you getting into this weekend?
Again this might be a beginner or intermediate thing, but I'm pinging her to see where I'm at in the interaction i.e. if she's pawning me off as a boyfriendzone guy, versus the "let's make it happen soon, Lover Guy."

The motivation to learn game, is because I'm not satisfied with long-term boyfriendzone guy, and am trying to shift to Lover Guy, but obviously that takes some learning, and rewiring.
Another unfortunate aspect of this, again in the beginner or intermediate stage is a tendency to "idealize" the potential meet-up with her next week, and say - "Ohh, I'm good, I got something with her for next week, I can take a break on approaches, or whatnot, " and then I (or you, using I as a general term) lose out on potential other good opportunities, OR you find out no - she hooked up with however, while you where sitting on the sidelines, and well... Let's not do that anymore!

Does this make sense for the mental perspective from beginner or intermediate to advanced??
See, I'm taking this from when I did cold approach sales (yes for solar). Great - you set up an assessment and consultation for a potential customer. To get your 5 sales/month, can you rest now on your approaches??
NO!
Because it's just a scheduled assessment. It's not ink on the dotted line. The persons house might not even qualify for solar.
Yet, I guess there's a natural inclination to say - Ohhhh, I finally got a "date" scheduled with a hot chick. I can rest for now, and the weekend...
While, she hasn't had sex with you yet, so you are actually not a real option for you yet, so if she meets Billy at the Bar this weekend, and it works faster than your scheduled date next week - well... That's a Sale for Billy at the Bar.

I guess what I'm asking here is - how to make YOU, your product so great, so valuable (without tipping into BF territory) for she to pass on Billy at the Bar and wait for your assessment and consultation next week?

Make sense?
And super curious...

(I haven't put my approaches on hold. Had two even better her targets yesterday, but city, people, car logistics got in the way - they disappeared before I could get to them. There's also the challenge that I got the pospective meet-up with the girl above from Night Game/Social Circle vs. Day Game - and I'm still trying to get that result from purely Day Game instead...)

 

[Skills]

Brah do you want to actually get laid or fake you are not needy when you needy anyways... Worrying about pretending no to look needy is needy, again I took my time and posted about new twicks in seduction you need to respond faster now a days.... Number 2 is kj now a days....

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

I think you missed your window to lock in a date. It's going to be an uphill struggle to get her out for a meetup again.

Next time a girl you just met says - Her: "I’m busy this weekend and Monday, but am free outside of work after that" - you need to move fast. You: "Tuesday might work, I'm free for sure Wednesday, how about insert name of cool rooftop bar I've always wanted to check out?"

I myself am subject to paralysis-by-over-analysis, pushing quick for a meetup helps get past that. Save the fancy in-jokes and callbacks for IRL.

 

[Gorili]

@AdamC,

Everyone gave really good advice. A few general points of commentary:

• I counted the time for her responses, and pretty much all of them are under 1 hour, which shows strong momentum on her end. You don't need to think that you need to wait 12 - 24 hours to get back to her in this scenario, as she's not playing games with you. It would be different if she took 2 days to get back to you each time
• I noticed this girl normally only sent 1 block of message, while you sent 2 each time. I would shrink it to 1 to balance the level of interest in the early stages
• All those exclamation points that you've thrown in might be excessive, unless she's sending them and you're reciprocating. I used to make this mistake

Thursday (July 4th) 2pm
Me: Fun meeting you last night at La Cerveza

I would use something like this as an opener. I don't understand why you're saying this the next afternoon when so much time has passed since the first batch of text exchanges. Comes across a bit awkward due to the delayed timing since you could have just said this even after her first response the night before.

Friday 11:29am
Her: I’m busy this weekend and Monday, but am free outside of work after that

Friday 1:00pm
Me: Ahha… That’s cool
Not sure what next week looks like
Me: Curious-what wild adventures are you getting into this weekend?

Like @Skills has written in some of his guides, when you guys are hard closing on logistics, stay on this line of topic. Adding in that question about her wild adventures is a tangent that gets in the way of the meet up, which is what you're aiming for anyways.

NO RESPONSE - END (I imagine until Monday, if I care to move forward…)

Alright, on Monday morning, send her a 'morning' with sun emoji to re-open her. Alternatively, you can search for a 'happy Monday' GIF. Let's see if she responds or forgot about you over the weekend already...

I’m not Hipster, but I’m not suit and tie. I do have a creative flare because of my photography. But I am pretty clean-cut, and have trouble shaking off the "Boyfriendzone thingy..." In my view what might make her a 10, is if she didn’t have the tattoos (or very ,minimal), had cream, or an extremely light tan skin, and had (REAL) D-breast like the OF “One Special Girl,” who kinda set the standard for me bodywise. (very similar to Andrea the Romanian with voluptuous athletic body and DD breasts! I LOVE those Romanian, Hungarian/eastern-block girls!) Again - it's all in the "eye of the beholder!"

This is some inner game shit. You've brought up this OnlyFans girl a few times before, which should be in the rear mirror by now, especially since you've done so many approaches recently. Focus on the ones in front of you if you can.

 

[Will_V]

2. I've always had a challenging time with quick responses as coming off "needy," or "try-hard," especially during a holiday period where as a high-value guy, unless it's direct plans, or a direct request you get back, when you get back cuz you're doing amazing shit, ideally within 12-24 hours...

Like @Skills said this isn't really that big of a deal.

A guy who is doing 'amazing shit' isn't someone whose every minute is scheduled for the next 48 hours like those youtube gurus pretend everyone should be doing. It's simply a guy who focuses on one thing for a few hours, maybe takes a quick break, and then is off to do something else, and he isn't getting distracted in the middle of any of those things by a woman's attempts to contact him.

I do try to generally wait a bit longer than her on average to reply, I find it mostly is relevant for girlfriends when they get needy, and not so much for new dates, but mostly I just wait until my regular downtime (which is usually around midday, evening, and when I go to bed) to reply. Sometimes I reply right away, especially if I'm actually doing something for the next few hours, and then log off.

Women know when you are sitting there calculating everything, they have antennae for that sort of thing that you and I don't have, and it doesn't make her feel any more attracted.

What's attractive is a guy who does exactly what he wants to do, and makes her adapt to it.

 

[Skills]

I did not bother to analyse the text because the structure is all fucked up, so no point on analysing word by word, but basically:

- main problem numero 1 is taking to long to reply killing flow and momentum.
- normie convos vs flirty type convos to gauge investment, raise investment, and dhv and show intent prior to arranging meet
- there was not soft closing you went straight to a hard close (in this case it worked, but most times backfires)

Here is the text conversation:

Wednesday 10:55pm
Me: Hey it’s Adam C
Her: Hi Adam

nothing wrong if it is right then and there but you stop responding, i would have cont. the thread.... for the high value doing things, have little to do with text timing, though yea probably a busy ceo, or an a celebrity shooting a movie many not text back right away.... But if this is a concern you can do...

open, then wait response, then i am __________ high value activity, followed by and you? or what are you up? what are doing?(my style and personality and vibe is what are you doing besides thinking of me and smiling?, but you don't have to making a point on how address the busy high value activity if you responding fast....(and always finish a question with a question to maintain flow)

or open, banter, explain high value activity you are doing...if that is the issue you are worried about..

Thursday (July 4th) 2pm
Me: Fun meeting you last night at La Cerveza
Me: I bet you bought plenty of fancy sunscreen for your crazy pool party today - right?
(Call-back humor to our evening joking about sunscreen and I included a screen-grab pic of Noble panacea $335 sunscreen)

^ as someone else said i would have open with this tbh, but no biggie... i like to open like cont. bantering...

Thursday (July 4th) 2:46pm
Her: LOL I wore sunscreen but it definitely isn’t “60 doses” for $335 sunscreen.

^ see how she replies to call back humor, that was your best text..

Thursday (July 4th) 3:23pm
Me: Well like L’Oreal says - “your worth it!”
Me: Wait, so your pool party is over already?

Again, now she probably realize you are being calculating with delaying and she probably doing the same... though your text was meh, no the main issue, but the time delay also the text answer even is good lost the flow... also in 4th of july she was probably busy all day and forgot.

Thursday (July 4th) 7:30pm
Me: Probably gonna photograph fireworks from this spot, but no concrete plans…
(Included cool pic of panoramic view of San Fernando Valley from Mulholland Drive)

this was good text, you have potential..

Thursday (July 4th) 2:46pm
Her: Party isn’t over and that spot looks nice

here i would have tested a soft close to test waters, but again is weird because even if you soft close, there has not been not intend, no flirtines, just normie convos... But i would have soft close, "is a really cool spot and a lot of fun, i am going to bring you here next time we see each other you would love it? = i am showing you how to flow into a soft close to gauge prior to hard closing...

Friday 11:00am
Me: This spot was nice
Me: So, what does your schedule look like for the next couple of days?

^you went into a hard close right away not ideal, but it worked...

Friday 11:29am
Her: I’m busy this weekend and Monday, but am free outside of work after that

Friday 1:00pm
Me: Ahha… That’s cool
Not sure what next week looks like
Me: Curious-what wild adventures are you getting into this weekend?

^ when guys text like this, they are displaying autism, lack of social dynamics, low value, cluelessness.... all of that is a display of lower value more than delaying texting...

i would have said

perfect! I know this fun place at ___________ (low key no courtship), is a lot of fun and i think you will love it, lets shoot for Thursday around 8:30 pm you are going to have a blast...

after she agrees on that, is when if you wanted you could have asked curious what wild adventures blah blah (though i don't talk like that, but maybe you do)

Friday 1:00pm
Her: It’s one of my best friends birthdays and then some other stuff

Friday 1:01pm
Her: But most of will be around her special weekend

Her last text was sent while I was typing…

^ she is investing in this boring convos, which means she liked you despite your meh texting..

Friday 1:02pm
Me: Wow! “Some other stuff” sounds Amazing! :/

cringe, weird, needy, bad joke...

Op again, i would take a look at some of the guides and field test please:

Socializing - How to flirt mini guide for in person gaming and digital gaming (texting).....

Guys have been requesting for me to do a mini guide on this, so here we go: So what is flirting: "Flirting or coquetry is a social and sexual behavior involving spoken or written communication, as well as body language, by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper...

www.skilledseducer.com

Simple/basic texting guide

There are 2 types of texting most guys use: 1.- long texting setting sexual frames.- This is hard to do, but is possible to do with experience. I had to rely in this style for 2 reasons: a.-) I relied a lot on physical game, no talking dance floor game and i had a heavy latin accent. b.-) By...

www.skilledseducer.com

Calls & Texts - How to soft close, when to soft close and some mistakes I am seeing....

So guys, i see some of you are doing things kind of right, some of you still doing same old bad habits, the guys that are actually listening, have totally exponentially improved results or adapted to their style what i have been preaching, the stubborn ones, same crap.. Anyways guys though the...

www.skilledseducer.com

Calls & Texts - How to properly hard close (set up logistics for meet up)

A hard close is defined as finding out when the girl is available for you 2 to meet and arranging the meeting (logistics).... I specifically advice this after you get high investment and properly soft closing a girl. A basic structure is to ask "how does your schedule looks like?" or "how...

www.skilledseducer.com

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