How You Doin'?

[Regal Tiger]

Edit: mentions at the end

Today was odd. Got a solid approach in the park as I was on my way to my car. Have a date scheduled Wednesday. Feel like I coulda done better but I was honestly thrown off (in a good way) by how strong and warm her eye contact was. Even mentioned it to her briefly how I lost my train of thought when I looked at her before getting my train back on tracks lol

Anywhoo, got another experience earlier today. The guys I was working with were talking about women as they walked by and finally I guess I got a little... Cheeky? Not sure, but it wasn't a negative feeling. It was positive

I was like listen man either you go ttalk to her or I'm going to. Finally he kinda just said something about her not wanting to talk to him so I just was like alright! I'll be back in a few minutes

Walked downstairs to where she was. Crappy approach but I did it mostly to:

1) show off a bit
2) test if I could properly hold state while physically exhausted (about 60-70% where I want it)
3) she was hit af
4) test to see how people would react to see if I could approach in the future

It was short l, like 3 minutes to see how they would react

To my astonishment they were hyping me up a lot and super supportive. It honestly threw me waaaaay off. They were happier than I was (I was in a positive mood but not like they were after)! One guy was like man you got balls

And all I could think was:
1) isn't it weirder to not approach?
2) and that I failed, which I tried to explain why I didn't think she was going to text back. Mostly boiling down to not spending enough time with her

But they were like no way you got a shot! And when we got back to the warehouse they told our coworkers and they were all excited. Felt nice and even though I failed I was oddly happy because of how excited they were


I had forgotten that it is a courageous thing for most guys to go up and talk to women. How even every once in a while, not even that long ago I would bitch out sometimes to talk to a girl

To them I just performed a miracle. To me, I had failed again lol

I thought that was kind of cool. Wanted to share

@ulrich @Will_V I think you'll both enjoy this post

 

[Will_V]

Edit: mentions at the end

Today was odd. Got a solid approach in the park as I was on my way to my car. Have a date scheduled Wednesday. Feel like I coulda done better but I was honestly thrown off (in a good way) by how strong and warm her eye contact was. Even mentioned it to her briefly how I lost my train of thought when I looked at her before getting my train back on tracks lol

Anywhoo, got another experience earlier today. The guys I was working with were talking about women as they walked by and finally I guess I got a little... Cheeky? Not sure, but it wasn't a negative feeling. It was positive

I was like listen man either you go ttalk to her or I'm going to. Finally he kinda just said something about her not wanting to talk to him so I just was like alright! I'll be back in a few minutes

Walked downstairs to where she was. Crappy approach but I did it mostly to:

1) show off a bit
2) test if I could properly hold state while physically exhausted (about 60-70% where I want it)
3) she was hit af
4) test to see how people would react to see if I could approach in the future

It was short l, like 3 minutes to see how they would react

To my astonishment they were hyping me up a lot and super supportive. It honestly threw me waaaaay off. They were happier than I was (I was in a positive mood but not like they were after)! One guy was like man you got balls

And all I could think was:
1) isn't it weirder to not approach?
2) and that I failed, which I tried to explain why I didn't think she was going to text back. Mostly boiling down to not spending enough time with her

But they were like no way you got a shot! And when we got back to the warehouse they told our coworkers and they were all excited. Felt nice and even though I failed I was oddly happy because of how excited they were


I had forgotten that it is a courageous thing for most guys to go up and talk to women. How even every once in a while, not even that long ago I would bitch out sometimes to talk to a girl

To them I just performed a miracle. To me, I had failed again lol

I thought that was kind of cool. Wanted to share

@ulrich @Will_V I think you'll both enjoy this post

Good that you showed those guys what can be done.

But remember, the goal is your own improvement, which never ends. Every interaction is a chance to learn something new about yourself and women, to explore them and play with them, and ultimately to experience the excitement and satisfaction of being in a moment where potential meets actuality.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Good that you showed those guys what can be done.

But remember, the goal is your own improvement, which never ends. Every interaction is a chance to learn something new about yourself and women, to explore them and play with them, and ultimately to experience the excitement and satisfaction of being in a moment where potential meets actuality.

And most importantly, now that I know they're cool with it (and as long as I don't go overboard) I have free reign to approach on delivery job sites. So when I see someone I must have I can go throw my hardhat in the ring

My job just got a whole lot more bearable

 

[Regal Tiger]

Was kinda mad today when I went out to game after work. Was extremely exhausted, so I decided to try something new because I didn't have the energy to put into it


Basically came at the approach with the mindset of 'impress me'.

Everything was normal on the approach. Then it started to die down because I was basically denying her validation until finally I told her that I like that she's nice. A lot of people get jaded in the world and it's easy to be mean to other people. She instantly melted

I gave her my number right before this moment, and while I was being funny about it, I was being a little mean to her by basically disqualifying a lot of what she was saying (probably only like a 3-4 minute interaction up to this point, and then another 2-3 after). And after I validated her being nice she got happier and was like "I'm going to text you right now actually"

And I got back to her an hour later and her follow-up responses are very different (in a good way) than what I'm used to. They seem... well, better



So I was thinking about it and I couldn't come up with much about why the change. Because I've qualified women before, but now with the mentality shift there's something different. My approach was more or less the exact same, but then I just... well the only way I can explain it is that I tried a mental shift about women needing to prove themselves to me. It's just a single approach (I only did 2 today, the second I'm about to talk about) but something feels different about it. More tests are required

___________

The second approach was an accidental re-approach. She said hi to me while I was sitting on a bench. I wasn't going to approach but because she said hi to me I thought I would. Turns out to be a mistake lol

She remembered me and I didn't remember her, she didn't even look familiar. But after she got to talking I then remembered who she was (and I still don't think those two women look the same... weird to say but true for me). This girl wasn't interested and was polite over text about it. I asked her why and she gave a long response but it honestly didn't amount to much. For example one of the reasons was that I misheard "sweat lodge" into "slut lodge" and made a joke about where it's at because it sounds amazing. It was a simple joke that even she laughed at but apparently became a reason later on. Another was she said she's got her own issues going on right now with men/sex/dating (her words)

--> honestly she probably decided she didn't like me and then when I asked the question about why her mind tried to fill in the blanks

That's not why I'm writing this part out


I noticed that internally my body started freaking out. On the outside I just did my best slight smile poker face, wished her a happy day and left. But this is a common trauma response and I think it's leaking out in some ways. As I've combed through different people's responses to some questions I've had as well as some articles, I think that I naturally come across in a way that's too attainable. Women are excited at first but then it dwindles into a distant warmth a lotta times. So basically, too nice

In addition, the only types that are going on dates with me up to this point are women who... I have zero interest in which means that there's something in me that's putting out vibes to the wrong people. Women who are eternal virgins for example

I think this is because of some issues from a few years ago that some of you may remember. I did manage to calm down but part of me found it fascinating and kind of studied myself

Why was I freaking out?
What was I freaking out about?
What's the worst thing that could happen?
What did my body think was going to happen?


I'm pretty sure I know why and it's the same reason that I have trouble bringing out a kind of edge/challenge that I think I've been missing. An edge that I managed with the first girl I approached today with my mental shift
--> put another way is James Marshall's: Pressure and Release formula, or how Will talked about basically mentally asking (not out loud) the woman if she can handle this



It's honestly very depressing to think about. But I'm going to try and push through it



EDIT: lol she just texted me as I was writing this. Apparently quite unhappy about the re-approach. Think the safest play is to just ignore it

 

[ulrich]

EDIT: lol she just texted me as I was writing this. Apparently quite unhappy about the re-approach. Think the safest play is to just ignore it

What did she say?

 

[Regal Tiger]

What did she say?

She was mad that I didn't recognize her and was all like is this what you do? Blablabla

Think she's just having a bad week and taking it out on me. Like, I wasn't even the slightest bit pushy with her so I'm not sure why she's mad. I've had other re-approaches before and they were cool about it, if a bit awkward (understandable)

 

[Regal Tiger]

Hmmm I'd be somewhere between 2-300 approaches in the past year. And this plus one other girl from like my first week are the only two bad approaches where they got mad.

I believe 3 re-approaches (although one was me wanting to pet her dog because it was tugging at the leash to come say hi to me and then she started talking to me and how she went to Italy and couldn't text me and all that so I'm not sure if I would count that one)

The rest have been between confused and happy. I gotta remember that because her response still bothers me. I'd get why would be annoyed I didn't recognize her, but to be angry does seem out of proportion to me

The other girl from way back when bothered me for probably a few days as well

 

[Regal Tiger]

Girl from last night (the good one, not the angry one) randomly texted me today. We set up plans for Friday as well as the place but never set up a time (I was tired with an early day and she said she had to work all day so I just took her through my normal date proposition texting phase I used to use in online dating all the time without setting up the actual time instead just saying that I was going to pass out and that we'd set it up when time got closer). She texted and since she texted first I decided to move ahead and get the time planned even though I was going to wait until tomorrow

I'm still adhering as best I can to the mentality shift that I want to experiment with. And it seems to be going well. Like extremely well to the point where I'm doubting myself


I know that this is just a single person, so 1/1 times and I need more experiences to verify anything, but I'm starting to doubt that I have actually done anything at all and just got lucky. She's reacting extremely well to just about everything that I said over text. I even tried to end the conversation with a smiley face (after getting busy with stuff and getting back to her like an hour and a half later) when she self-qualified to me but she tried to keep it going. I was rather proud of that text too because it accomplished so much: ending the conversation as well as qualifying her a little more

So I told her that I was stripping down to take a shower with an emoji (she qualified herself on being playful, so the response plays off that as well as being slightly sexual in nature) and that I have an early day tomorrow (to both end the conversation as well as to 'innocently' play off why I said I was going to take a shower)

She loved it


So now I'm bumping into a new problem of trying to preserve the mystery while also balancing it out with enough attention so that she will still want to meet up with me. I think I'm doing a good job of that



But again, it's making me doubt myself if I really made this happen or just got lucky? I'm taking a few days break to kind of re-center myself after angry girl. But I'm kinda bursting at the seams to test this mentality shift more....

 

[ulrich]

But again, it's making me doubt myself if I really made this happen or just got lucky? I'm taking a few days break to kind of re-center myself after angry girl. But I'm kinda bursting at the seams to test this mentality shift more....

There’s always a certain element of luck… and yeah, you might have hit a girl where you got lucky.

But, in order to get lucky with this girl, you had to go out, open and deal successfully with her tests.
That is your doing.

Good work!!

 

[Will_V]

She was mad that I didn't recognize her and was all like is this what you do? Blablabla

Think she's just having a bad week and taking it out on me. Like, I wasn't even the slightest bit pushy with her so I'm not sure why she's mad. I've had other re-approaches before and they were cool about it, if a bit awkward (understandable)

Raw energy has potential my friend. She thought she was your special girl but found out she's not. Stay playful!

 

[Regal Tiger]

Raw energy has potential my friend. She thought she was your special girl but found out she's not. Stay playful!

Definitely think this has a bit to it as well, but still confuses me... she rejected me so why should it matter? Lol

She hasn't messaged me again so I think ignoring her was the right call. There's no need to inflame the situation

 

[Regal Tiger]

There’s always a certain element of luck… and yeah, you might have hit a girl where you got lucky.

But, in order to get lucky with this girl, you had to go out, open and deal successfully with her tests.
That is your doing.

Good work!!

Thanks!

Obviously I hope it wasn't luck, but like I said more testing is required

 

[Chase]

Definitely think this has a bit to it as well, but still confuses me... she rejected me so why should it matter? Lol

"I didn't want him but it's nice so many guys are into me, lol."

-->

"OMG, that guy wasn't even into me, he just approaches every woman he sees, he didn't even remember me. I feel so used thinking he liked me. Gross."

 

[Regal Tiger]

"I didn't want him but it's nice so many guys are into me, lol."

-->

"OMG, that guy wasn't even into me, he just approaches every woman he sees, he didn't even remember me. I feel so used thinking he liked me. Gross."

Whoops!

Lol


Little did she know that I've trained myself to only like women I've been inside of. Although sometimes one will slip through

 

[Regal Tiger]

Lol psyche she rain checked me when I did my "I'll be in blank color shirt" date check-in text

 

[ulrich]

Lol psyche she rain checked me when I did my "I'll be in blank color shirt" date check-in text

Good luck

 

[Regal Tiger]

Good luck

Thanks but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. She mentioned a family emergency but whenever it comes to flakes or cancellations I basically just assume they're lying until/if they reach out later lol

Probably a flaw on my part. I just said bummer, but I hope things go better. She talked a little bit but never brought up any kind of reschedule. Basically just going to leave that to her since she's in a situation (so she says but I never believe, probably not a good thing for me but is what it is)

Did connect a small a bit about what she mentioned but again, like 3 messages back and forth max

We'll see what happens. I just assume it won't though

 

[Regal Tiger]

She came back late Friday night I believe (cancelled on Friday night date), texted her early morning Saturday saying hoping that everything went well. She texted back fairly quick, I waited all day to get back to her cuz I just didn't feel like it. Back in the area hanging with a friend, made plans for today aaaaaaaaaaaand....


Cancelled again lmao. I think I believe her when she says she has a family thing going on but still



At this point I just want a big tub of cookie dough and to just stop. Nothing I've done has made a difference in all this time with all this wasted effort. It's such a fucking pain

Girl interested? She's moving, or has something going on

Girl available? Go fuck yourself

Girl available AND interested? Yeah we gotta put a stop to that somehow, someway



There's literally no point to any of this

 

[Regal Tiger]

Well it finally happened! I'll write it up later. It was the girl that I tried a different approach with from last week. Not gonna lie I didn't think it was going to happen up until I actually picked her up

Kept thinking she was going to cancel again. But yeah!

I was absolutely losing my mind over this. It feels so nice that it finally happened

I have to wake up in 5 hours for a 10 hour shift so it may be a few days but I'll write it up

 

[Regal Tiger]

Lol funny story at work today:

A few weeks ago some of the other guys were like "better be careful trying to talk to women at the job site"

Then these dumbasses get us all in trouble for catcalling women! And I didn't even do anything today! Didn't talk to anyone, and I don't catcall

So they warned me and they turn around with some dumb shit and get in trouble. Then keep talking shit for like the next hour about the dude who said something to the front desk like they were gonna do some shit. One of whom was taunting the guy. Not a one owned up to it when management came upstairs

I think I'm working with children lmao