There's no "steps ahead" here. Skip the number close, don't even think in terms of "number close." Girls give out numbers to get rid of guys so often its not worth thinking of as a benchmark of any kind.
Arrange the meetup right there ("I gotta run now but I'm free after 8, grab a drink with me?"). She'll either accept (and give you her number without you asking), reject (in which case she wasn't hooked enough and a number close would lead you the same place they're all leading you), or tell you she's busy at that time and let you know when she's free (and give you her number without you asking.)
Game for face-to-face meets where you can actually close the deal, that's all that's worth going for. The contact info stuff will work itself out, it doesn't matter, there's no "close" there that's of any value (until down the road when your text game is super tight, having been informed by plenty of in-person success), and as you're seeing is zero sign that things are moving forward at all.
I'll give this a try, there is nothing to lose anyway since I'm not gaining anything currently
It only looks desperate and needy if there is a precedent of you coming across as desperate and needy. If there is a precedent of you two hitting it off, talking about shared interests, and even a bit about what your schedules are like, then it comes across as you taking leadership to initiate the next reasonable step in the connection between you two. Furthermore, what if she viewed you as this high-value dude? The prize. Will she still see the move as desperate and needy? Or will she think "Oh my god, I can't believe this absolute babe is inviting me on a date"? You have to be calibrated, you don't just propose a date willy-nilly or yes it might come across as desperate. This is why you create a reason why you two ought to go on a date in the first place (the connection you have, a compelling date idea, and so on). That fact you think it is needy and desperate in the first place is very telling. Indicates something that is off in your approach in general. Frames her as the prize.
What I outlined is really just a template, you are going to implement it in various ways that are calibrated to each situation. Maybe you don't suggest a date right then and there (because of a variety of factors present in the seduction at the moment), but at least you have
-Established and connected on shared interests
-Established potential activities that are compelling
-Sussed out basic logistics you can work with
Maybe the move is, instead of suggesting a date outright, to take her number. You are still giving her a solid reason as to why that is the move to make. "Well hey, this is clearly a connection worth following. Imma grab your number and we'll sync up to keep this going" Even though you haven't presented anything solid in terms of a date, you have still presented a solid reason (which she sees as reasonable based on the connection you have established). Plus since you seeded potential date ideas, even though you are not suggesting them outright, she can still imagine what it would be like to connect again. Also, note that you are not asking for her number, you are presenting a reason why you are going to take her number. If she finds the reason reasonable she will happily oblige.
So bend the template to whatever strategy works best for the moment. Chase outlines some solid ways of doing that in that article Ulrich linked.
No, you got it backwards.
You first get her excited about doing something together and then ask for her number because it’s just logical.
If you go for the number without getting her excited first, she wonders what the hell do you want and why a random guy (who likely she already forgot about because there was no excitement) is contacting her.
Currently, when you ask for her number she closes off because you’re going too fast.
(“There’s no plan to meet again and this guy wants to contact me? What for?”)
Women don’t want guys they are not excited about contacting them.
They may give their numbers knowing that they can ignore the guy later.
This makes sense and I have inadvertently done this in the past. But, it was when I had sufficient time with the girl. If I spoke to her for at least 30+ mins but these days, I haven't had any such long interactions at all. Main reason being I approach most of the girls on streets. In the past I used to approach indoors but due to covid, I'm wary of approaching indoors since some of them still wear masks and even if they aren't wearing mask, it feels foreign to approach indoors having not done in a long time. If I had spent time talking to the girl somewhere like a park or a square, its easy to segue into a conversation involving shared interests and building connection but all the interactions I have these days are between 5-10mins and I won't have sufficient time to come up with such things.
Currently, when you ask for her number she closes off because you’re going too fast.
(“There’s no plan to meet again and this guy wants to contact me? What for?”)
I agree but like I mentioned above, currently I'll have to move fast with the girl. To give you a clear idea of how my interaction looks like, I'll give a couple of detailed examples that I thought went really well:
1. I met this chic in a supermarket that I mentioned earlier (Krista) (this was indoors since she was not wearing mask and there were not many ppl around). She was holding chocolates in her hand and smiling looking at them standing at the end of an aisle. I walked slowly past her and with body-rocking, I said "So, chocolates make you happy?" (with a smirk) . She looked at me and said "Who doesn't feel happy for chocolates?" (Smiling). I said, it depends. I like dark chocolates but anyway, you look so happy like a cute puppy (teasing and SOI) and she laughed out loud. Then I said, are you always this happy or just when you have chocolates in your hand? She replied: I'm normally a happy person. There is always a reason to be happy. I said "That's amazing! its good to see happy ppl around with so much going on around" and then she asked me "Where are you from?" and I replied "I'm from Mars planet" (with a smirk) and she eye-rolled with a grin. I continued, its a weekend, so I generally come here for the weekend and she continued laughing. Then I asked, "Are these chocolates for your BF?". (These days I'm bummed with girls saying I have a BF. So, I wanted to get this out of the way). She replied with a smile: No, this is for my friend. I said, "that's perfect! we should go on a date then" (with a grin) and she said "OK" (I was a bit surprised that she agreed outright cos I was actually not serious in saying that and I wanted to build on top of that) and I took her number. Then she told me, she had travelled for the weekend and was just returning home after a lot of travelling and is super-tired. I chatted for a little bit & I said, tell me about it when we meet and left. (There were some bits and pieces of interaction that I've forgotten but it went on for 5-10mins max)
So, in this example although the girl was a YES girl, it took me a month to get her out on a date with relentless texting.
Not all interactions go so well and still it took me a month to get this girl out. I wrote a FR about this.
Here is a more moderate interaction outdoors and its hard to squeeze in all the elements that you guys mentioned since most girls outdoors are in a hurry:
2. This is the Russian single mom (Olga) I mentioned earlier. I was walking back from work and saw her waiting for her ferry. Went upto her and said, "Thought I'll come say Hi" with a smile. She grinned and said "Hi". I continued, "you know sometimes when you see someone there is something about them that you want to go meet them?" she continued "grinning" and wasn't giving much. I continued, "you seemed like you were consuming all of this beautiful view and wanted to find out why you look so fascinated" (pointing at the ocean). She said "I'm waiting for my ferry". (Alarm bell rang in my head that I have to move faster). I teased her and said "Your ferry stop is there. Are you going to swim there?" (lot of dramatic body language to make it look like I'm not negging). Then she played along, saying yes, I swim there. I said, you seem adventurous, nice. I like adventurous ppl. She sounded German and asked if she was German and she kept asking me to guess which I failed a few times and she finally told she is Russian (some banter around that). Then I asked what do you do for living when you're not adventurous and she said she was a lawyer and she asked me what I did (alarm bells were constantly ringing that I have to move towards the close since her ferry might come anytime). I asked if she has a BF? She said, no she has kids and is divorced. I said, its stressful to deal with job and kids, you definitely need a break, with strong eye contact and slight smirk. She said "yes, with a smile". I said, come lets go travel the world (with a grin) and later said, lets discuss that over a coffee and I gave her my phone to enter her number and she entered the number and name and rang her phone from my phone. While she was entering the phone number, I said, there is something cute about you, that energy is very contagious (SOI). I continued, "look at you, you got so lucky. You were just sitting here smiling and someone came to help with your stressful life. Life is interesting sometimes" and she said "yes. Anyway, my ferry is here and I need to go".
There were some bits and pieces that I forgot but the interaction was mx 5-10mins. This looked like a solid interaction but didn't go anywhere.
Do you think I could've/should've seeded the date? If so, how? (or better if you could change the whole interaction of how I could've made it better)
Also, I always do only coffee dates which is low-investment and easy. So, if I have to discuss common interests, it's a lot more complex and stressful to organise logistics but I'm open to discuss.
