I had a date last night.
Source was the apps. We met up for drinks. Met in front of venue but walked to a different one, sat, talked, had her come sit next to me, touched, got close, talked about sex topics, pulled, escalated, closed the deal.
This one went pretty smoothly. Before we met up, I could tell she was DTF. Before meeting up, the signs can be subtle or not so subtle. Firstly, at the beginning of the week we scheduled the date for later in the week. She said something like let's plan on it, if anything changes I'll let you know. This is a small signal of interest, since she is putting more effort into communicating. I am trying to identify "signals or signs of interest", make a prediction about what I think will happen based on that, and then see if I am right. At the same time, I still try to move things forward, regardless if there are signals or not. So it kind of doesn't matter if there are signals or not. But, as an spring expert seducer, I should be able to predict whether a girl will close or not, based on what I'm seeing. So that's why I am writing about these signals of interest.
Next, the night before the date, she texted saying that she was on her period so sex might not be possible unless I was into that. I responded saying I have towel don't worry. She liked the response and said good. This is a huge green flag. This basically means, she is DTF, it is mine to mess up. That was definitely my predication anyway. If a girl is mentioning sex like this, she is pretty darn sold on you.
When we met up, we went to the venue I like. Sat in the spot I like. Started talking. She laughed at all my bad jokes, which is another sign of interest. Pretty soon into deep diving, I touched her, and she held my hand, and even started rubbing/stroking my hand with her thumb. This is a positive signal. I recognized this, and had her move from her seat, to sitting next to me. This is my standard "get closer" move. But I did it sooner, because I recognized the signal.
When she came to sit next to me, she sat right close, like right next to me, with much of our bodies touching. I put my arm around her, and she almost immediately had her hand on my leg, lightly stroking with her fingers. Both of these are, again, good signs. I made some sex jokes, like about pulling her hair, or spanking feeling good. She agreed with them. This is good. She is buying into my sex frames. I asked what she liked to do for fun, and she said she was adventurous. Another good frame. I'm not sure if she said this on purpose or not. What's funny about the "adventurous" frame is, that I don't necessarily associate sex with adventurousness. Sex is normal, no big deal. Maybe you'd have to be more explicit with what you mean by adventurous. Like maybe "sexually adventurous". Now it's sex topics. Which accomplishes the goal it needs to accomplish.
Soon after that, I figured that there she was totally down, so went for the pull. I asked if she wanted to go watch a show for a little bit. This is a little on-the-nose, meaning that she has to do some anti-slut-defence. She asked what show. I said XYZ show, what it was about, and how good it was. She said sure. We talked about TV shows for a little bit, I was basically just filling time until I could get the attention of the server and pay the check. I did, and he came over and I paid for the drinks. Then we talked about shows for another minute, then I said let's go. I try not to jump all over it when making the pull, by saying "let's go" as soon as she says yes. I don't want to seem over-eager. Also, paying the bill can sometimes be an obstacle. Sometimes I have to say I have to use the bathroom, and go use the bathroom, and pay the bill on the way back, so we can quickly go. If someone else has a better idea about how to get the bill paid to make it smoother, let me know.
A few observations:
-- I "wanted it" more on this date. Why? Because I hadn't had sex in about 10 days, and so I was hornier. As I've been writing about, I have been having somewhat regular sex with two FWB's, which is cool, but reduces my sex drive. Meaning that on new dates, I haven't been very into it. Which means I don't pay attention, which means signals get unnoticed and not acted on. However, I sort of decided that I would let things fizzle with the FWB's, so that I can focus on going on dates and improving my seduction skills. So on the date last night, I did feel horny and like I wanted to be there and wanted to actually have sex. This is good, for learning.
-- I used a facial expression that I have used before, that seemed to work. Basically, I smirk slightly with the right side of my mouth, and had the left side open more. For whatever reason, this comes across as chill, low-key, in the moment, natural. I used this on another girl on a date who I knew was DTF, and also there things went smoothly. Maybe this should be my default facial expression. It seems to work, to come across calm and chill, while also strong and in the moment and powerful. Might as well keep trying it.
-- I like when the girl is attractive. What do I mean? I mean, sometimes when the girl shows up, there is something offputting about her appearance that makes me think "I wouldn't want to be on top of her". One example is too much makeup. If she is wearing too much makeup, it just looks ridiculous, and I'm like, I can't even take you seriously right now. Maybe this is just a mindset that I should consciously change in myself, so that I can empathize with these girls and have better interactions. Another thing is too much eyelash whatever. The thing where girls make their eyelashes thick or long or heavy with eyelash makeup. Whatever it is called. This stuff, I also can't take seriously. There have been some girls I've been on dates with, where I'm like, you look ridiculous, even if they are otherwise thin and have good personalities. Again, maybe I should change this mindset in myself, to open myself up more to these girls. The last one is when she is slightly overweight. Per Chase's recommendations, I'm not against seducing a girl who is slightly overweight, to get more experience. Be picky with girlfriends, but not picky with who you sleep with or approach, that sort of thing. Yet still, my dick likes thin girls more. Thus, when a girl is 1. thin (at least not fat) 2. with minimal makeup 3. minimal eyelash makeup situation, my dick sings.
-- I'm starting to look for and pay attention to signals of interests, and signals that it is an escalation window which you want to jump through. For example, when she was rubbing my hand while holding it, it made sense to move to the next step, which was having her sit next to me. Then, when there, moving onto sexual topics, since she sat so close. Then, when she bought into a few of my sexual frames and jokes, and was close, and was rubbing my leg lightly with her fingers, I figured it was time to pull. Thus, we see that if you are paying attention, you can move through the "steps of the seduction" pretty fast, if she is giving you the green lights. If you move things forward, and the lights continue to be green, keep going. Heck, given the messages before even meeting up on the date, I probably could have pulled her even faster. However, you sort of still have to go to at least one venue first, before inviting her back. Or at least, I'm not yet confident enough in my abilities to invite her straight to mine after first meeting, even if the lights have been super green beforehand. I'm sure there are ways to do it. But I don't want to give myself that friction, yet. Instead, we went to this venue for one drink, which took about 25 minutes. From meet to p in v was 41 minutes. So that is fast enough for me. Although I'm always up for looking for green lights and going faster.
-- I wonder if I act differently when I assume that she is DTF when we meet. That is, maybe I am calmer, more certain, more looking for green lights, more looking for signals to move forward, when I believe beforehand that she is DTF. Maybe I should do that all the time. Assume she is DTF. What changes, though, if I do that? I'm not sure. I think the approach I took was good, though, so I want to continue to use that.
-- I can continue to consciously try to look for and pay attention to signals of interest. This is how you calibrate yourself to the girl. Which just makes the interaction feel more smooth, with less friction. Frankly, this is like any other conversation with someone. The more you are paying attention to them, and what they really mean by what they say and do (tone, body language, and facial expressions, rather than words), then you be more in tune with them, and converse or lead them accordingly. This goes for seduction just as much as any other conversation. I can do more of this, because so far in my seduction career, I have more followed a vague sense of timing, rather than timing certain moves based on what she is telling me verbally or non verbally. This is the next step, how you really get good. On the flip side, what if she isn't giving you any "signals", but is otherwise going along with whatever you do? I suppose that is good, too. As long as she is complying. There, ask for compliance and investment from her. Still, it's funny how some girls show little or no signals of interest, and some show oodles. Weird. I like Chase's article about making predictions about what will happen, or what she will do, based on signals you have or haven't seen so far. I like being able to predict what will happen, at any given time.
-- With a girl like this, who made it so clear she was DTF, it makes me wonder how experienced she is. For example, is she a highly experienced girl who felt the need to make it abundantly clear what she wanted, to make sure I didn't miss ay signs? Or is she a low partner count girl but is coming into her sexual awakening and wants to try different guys out because it is all new and exciting? If I had to guess, I would say it is that one. Or heck, maybe she was a virgin, who decided she just wanted to have sex, and came upon that is a reasonably-direct way to make her intentions known. It's hard to say. I'm sure as you get more experienced, though, you can tell which it is.
-- Similar to signals of interest on a date or after you are talking to a girl, you can also look for signals that a girl wants to be approached by a guy, and/or you in particular. Chase has an article recently about this. I want to go out, and look for these signals and signs. And build up my conscious ability to see girls that are signaling to be approached. It seems both like a fun skill to have, as well as useful for my seduction efforts. I'm trying to think of a good venue to do this in. Coffee shop? Busy park? Bar? Not sure yet.
