Erectile Dysfunction  Seems like a lot of young guys have erection problems now. Older guys, did you have ED when younger?

Chase

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Hey fellas,

I've been wondering about this a while now. I just read orkie's latest LR, in which he lost his erection due to getting fatigued.

This isn't about him, but rather a trend I have possibly noticed... not sure if it's real or just perception.

It seems like there are a LOT of guys now (YOUNG guys) who experience a range of different erection problems with girls:

  • They struggle to get it up at all
  • They get it up for a while but go soft at some point
  • They go soft multiple times, work hard to get hard, then go soft again
  • They drink booze then can't get it up

There have always been erection problems, and were these when I was new. I went through a stretch for a couple of months at one point in 2007 (when I was 24) where I was pulling girls a lot faster than I was before and I was too in my head and couldn't get it up. But after I resolved that I never really had an issue with erections again.

Never had the problem with whiskey dick. I had a few years when I'd get blasted drunk and pick up girls but could always perform no problem. I see different guys talking about having a few drinks and not getting erections. Not sure if this is a mental thing, like they heard about whiskey dick then psyched themselves out thinking about how they're drunk and won't be able to get it up, or if people are just physiologically different and for some guys having alcohol in their blood somehow impedes erections. There's actually a study that finds drinking makes you MORE likely to get/sustain erections, with heavy drinkers having significantly less ED.

(which probably goes back to my main point on ED... that unless you have actual body problems, it is a mental phenomenon... getting hammered drunk removes your inhibitions, so all those mental things tying you back from getting it up aren't going to be so much a problem...)

There's an article here suggesting erectile dysfunction is rising in young men, with 26% of men under 40 experiencing it now:


There's a 1999 study here that projected a doubling in worldwide erectile dysfunction between 1995 and 2025:


Then there's this 2020 pharmaceuticals write-up here claiming 10% of men worldwide have ED, versus about 18% of US men having ED (it's talking about why ED treatment is a good market to get into if you're in pharma):


This article suggests rising diabetes as a cause of rising erectile dysfunction; diabetes Type 2 is basically just "I'm overweight and my body's having trouble with blood sugar now" (stopping being fat makes diabetes go away). So from that point it would make sense... since the US is so overweight, it would have a higher rate of diabetes, thus a higher number of guys suffering from ED on average.

(another study agrees with 18% of US men having ED, then states that 51% of men with diabetes have ED. Whoa. Moral of the story: don't be fat!)

But I know for a fact many of the young guys who struggle with ED are not overweight.

When I look at it just anecdotally, it looks to me like young guys are having a lot more trouble getting it up and keeping it up than they used to, just based on how often guys are reporting this. I don't recall hearing about this nearly as much when I was younger, either on seduction boards or from buddies.

But maybe it just wasn't as discussed? I certainly wasn't talking about it when I went through it in 2007. I was just like, "Crap! Gotta figure this out. Why's my dick suddenly not working with new girls?" Maybe young guys are just more open about stuff they're dealing with now, due to the decline in machismo / masculinity culture?

To the guys who are older: was there a lot of ED problems you knew about / dealt with yourself / heard about back then, and I'm just not aware of it?

Or is there an actual rise in young guys not getting it up / keeping it up?

Been wondering about this for a while and I don't think it's something I can figure out just reading guys' reports or looking at a few "numbers are rising!" studies here and there.

Chase
 

Jeff

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Hey Chase,

The numbers are definitely increasing. I know many guys who have this but I'll use myself as an example. As far as I can tell,

1. It's a low T problem (for sure) - low protein, fat, high sugar diets, lack of sleep, no exercise
2. Porn/masturbation (or both)

I'm sure it has to do with sorting yourself out mentally but it is most definitely a physical problem as well.
 

POB

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To the guys who are older: was there a lot of ED problems you knew about / dealt with yourself / heard about back then, and I'm just not aware of it?
Nope.
My problem was I was not able to cum.
Would fuck for hours with a steady hard-on, but no cum.
Then I cut back on porn, stoped masturbating, and the problem was solved.
 

Teevster

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Many probably take cocaine and don't want to admit it. The youngsters these days are a bunch of dopeheads.

On my end, I take a bit of time to "grow strong" and I take forever to cum, but it is mostly because I am not overexcited when I see a naked girl. I have to "build a setting" and "create a narrative" with the girl in order to excite me. But that's ok, it actually makes sex better for both of us. I also need tons of preliminaries but no girls has problems with long prolonged fucking anyway.

-Teevster
 

ElderPrice

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My younger ED problems were all due to anxiety, or all in my head.

If it's generally true that young men today are lower T, more anxiety prone, more medicated, and just more likely to be the emasculated result of social programming, then I'd expect a similar increase in ED issues. I'd expect them to go hand in hand.
 

Lofty

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While I'm not an "older guy," based on my discussions, research, and personal experiences as a "younger guy" who resolved his ED issues, I thought to pitch in here.

Every guy’s situation is going to have its idiosyncrasies, but overall there’s a high likelihood the spikes in these cases are in part, if not mostly, caused by an increase in porn-induced erectile dysfunction and the whole circumstances around it. Or PIED in combination with other factors.

This is the case for reasons such as:
  1. Porn, and highly stimulating porn, is available and easier to access than ever before through addicting screens, which are also available and easier to access than ever before
    1. Combine that with how sexual stimulation for the male brain tends to crave visual stimuli, endless porn + adolescent sex drive = high likelihood of early exposure to porn and potential degree of addiction. For some even at a very young age
    2. This includes social media (already built for addiction as it is) that can literally function as porn or porn-lite and/or as masturbatory triggers while idling on addicting screens. These can also be early introductions to porn or porn-like content

  2. Porn is so easily accessible that many adolescents are introduced to it before they engage in sexual activities with real women, and the malleable adolescent brain begins to connect "stimulation from porn on the screen” with erection rather than “real woman”
    1. Male brain also craves novel sexual stimuli. Novel sexual stimuli is endlessly available through endlessly wide and novel forms of porn. The brain reinforces that it increasingly needs higher levels of stimulation and novelty - which is endlessly available through porn - to be aroused. Now this becomes a big feedback loop driving the brain further and further away from “real sex with real woman” = erection. More and more it can become "novel porn" = erection
    2. There may also tend to be less in-person socialization opportunities at adolescent ages, generally resulting in lower chances of sexual activities at younger ages that past generations did have. This is a factor which also may exacerbate the issue of the brain associating novel porn with "erection" prior to it sexual activites in the flesh
    3. This has the capability to diminish erection quality with women to various degrees or in some cases, decrease the chance of any erection whatsoever

  3. "Older guys" who had exposure to sexual activity PRIOR to exposure to porn seem to have less (if any) erection issues - even though they may still use porn. I know multiple veteran seducers who this applies to, dunno if they want to be named or not.
    1. But I believe Skills is also one who has said before that he uses porn without erection issues, so if that's the case he would also apply here.
    2. This suggests that exposure to porn before exposure to sex with women is a significant differentiating factor. Small sample size or whatever, sure, but it's a highly strong and plausible correlation
So to me, and given the scope of the OP, I'll say that I'd contend that at least one, if not the most predominant, differentiating factor for why younger men seem more likely to have ED at ages that past generations did not is from exposure to modern pornography prior to exposure to sexual activity in real life.

Now I cannot stress enough that it's certainly not only one factor, and that there are both broader social dynamics and highly individualized reasons in play. But if I were to say one leading, linking factor, that would be one that seems like a contender.

For the sake of the comprehensiveness of this complex discussion though, here are some of the "social dynamic" factors that may be a contributing factor in some cases and/or the higher incidences of them. I will talk about the individualized factors + solutions if a guy is experiencing ED issues later on too... no obligation for anyone to read any or all of the post, but it's a real and serious thing with not all that many nice materials on it out there, so I wanted to include some info for those it may help.

Anyway, here are other potential "social dynamic" contributing factors - important to emphasize these are not absolutes in any way:
  • As aforementioned, generally there's likely less overall in-person socialization occurring at younger ages than past generations
    • There's a distinction here between "in-person socialization" and "electronic socialization" or whatever you want to call it because there may still be lots of socialization happening as a whole - it's just manifested differently with different skillsets that develop from it
    • With less in-person socialization and recreational activities for some, obviously that is going to decrease instances in which sexual activity could be had at younger ages (and prior to modern porn exposure) that were more common in past generations
    • Probably made even worse by Covid stuff too, and who knows the full effects on each of the various age groups

  • With increasingly more screens in past decades, there were/are more competing factors that adolescents have for stimulation
    • Technology offers interconnectivity that still can be social but just not exclusively in person. Of course it also contributes to other high stimulation activities being used as time sinks that also decrease potential early exposures to sexual activity while increasing likelihood of modern porn exposure by being on a device

  • Certain groups may have worse diet/exercise/”testosterone” etc
    • But not all groups though because seems like it’s often forgotten with the whole “diet/exercise/testosterone/big corps want to depopulate the Earth with low T men tinfoil stuff”... that there’s also the other side of it that has teenage super-athletes playing competitive youth sports year-round with protein shakes in hand and mega-health focused parents, if not themselves. Knew plenty like that myself. So I think there might be some polarization that occurred in whole nutrition/health sphere like with so much else that was polarized. So maybe that could've affected the baseline of health level of “average guy” or proliferated issues towards one end of the spectrum

  • High stress levels + less sleep for adolescents who are under pressures of conditioning systems such as:
    • Parents/schools who preach ”get good grades for a good college/for a good job.”
      • These pressures are a stress factor in themselves and also can cause less socialization opportunities as adolescents due to having to time-intensive assignments, etc
    • Collecting/paying off debt while working jobs they don't like, etc
      • Obvious stress factor that could contribute to overall health/ED
    • Porn use may also develop as cope for these stresses, exacerbating the issue
    • Less overall focus on "dating/mating" or whatever as people focus on their careers in Western countries and potentially a high cost of living in certain contexts contributes to that as well (birth rate issue, etc.)

  • Helicopter parenting and related dynamics
    • The prevalence of it (am sure there is lots more discussion on the subject) may have also decreased opportunities for unsupervised activities that past generations had that resulted in exposure to sexual activities in adolescence, and unsupervised adolescent socialization in general

  • These are things that also increases the likelihood of some adolescents having exposure to porn before real sex, or at least pushing up the number of years until they do have sex, which is another related discussion

  • Lots else + surely many individualized factors
Of note, there will be some who want to say “argghhhh feminist woke society making men less masculine!” or whatnot. On the other hand, there’s also the “liberated sex” crowd, and plenty of "masculine men" are around. And plenty of those groups centered around "masculinity." So people make of that what they will.

So those are just a handful of the social dynamics, but again…

If there’s something that’s going to be a common driver of this, to me it does look like that exposure to porn prior to exposure to “real” sexual activities (which the social dynamic factors may contribute to of course) is a thing. And how it causes a misfiring of male arousal mechanisms on the highly impressionable, adolescent male brain. How the brain just starts connecting “erection” with high stimulation modern pornography from screens, and that continuously gets reinforced through loops as discussed above.

So it could be one of “the” things that distinguishes this set of issues from “older” men who didn’t have these issues, even with porn exposure later on but not before they got going with real women. The correlation is surely not absolute, but it surely seems strong.

My personal experiences would also suggest modern pornography being a factor and I can discuss that some as well before getting into more individualized factors/solutions later on. No one has to read it lol, I don't care haha, it's just for those it may help as I'm sympathetic to the topic.


My Personal Experience With ED And Resolving It As A "Younger Guy"

Those who were along for the ride when I started posting here know that I also was a young man who experienced inconsistencies with my erections as I was working a lot on my seduction skills.

I had been exposed to porn at that point, though it was lesbian BDSM stuff with no penetration, and thankfully, I didn’t go that much further down the rabbithole like others that have gotten their arousal mechanisms hooked on crazy things… I mean I’ve seen a guy in the “community” who said it was to the point where he was only getting jacking off to anal fisting ffs.

Of course, such exposure and masturbation patterns are also likely to increase masturbation frequency using porn at large, or when using the sides of social media that they may be intoduced to very early on that can be porn/porn-like (TikTok, IG, YouTube) or even literally host porn (Twitter). So this can further reinforces the issue of high-level erotic stimulation on screen = erection. On top of that, these mediums are very omnipresent for the modern adolescent, and make it very easy to find “novel” erotic stimulation as discussed before.

So this easily-accessible loop further reinforces the connection the brain makes between porn/screens + erection while the brain may still be in impressionable stages of development as well. Adding in that these patterns may create unhealthy behaviors when with women too, and projecting porn onto real women, among other dynamics, creating other unhelpful loops for them.

Anyway, as I worked on my seduction skills and increased my consistency with women, I noticed inconsistent erections. In these instances I was eventually able to get hard, but it surely was frustrating and contributed to a learning curve on its own.

So I researched and tested solutions, and some guys suggested some things and that was very nice too, and after addressing a number of factors including fully eliminating porn, I had zero erection issues within months and never have had any issues since. I wrote about that and my process for it here.

Now again I’ll stress that each case will have its idiosyncrasies, but my case is also supportive and seems typical of porn-induced erectile dysfunction. While I had also addressed other factors simultaneously as I wrote about, I strongly believe eliminating porn/decreased masturbation to be the predominant factor because I wasn’t liable to the other common risk factors at that time, such as poor health/diet/body fat.

I was very fit/very low body fat - I was 6’0 160-170 or so, exercising daily, vascularity all over my limbs, six-pack abs and all, eating extremely clean, and ZERO drug/alcohol usage. Now I’m sure continuing a healthy diet/lifestyle helped, and I do believe taking a supplement to increase nitric oxide levels like I wrote about did help jumpstart things in the meantime too.

But overall I strongly believe that eliminating porn + decreasing ejaculation frequency through masturbation (I still came when with women whenever I wanted) and recalibrating my brain to “hot naked woman in the flesh” = erection was the primary factor because again, I was a very healthy guy.

This is not projecting or confirmation bias here either – once more we have multiple older members of the community citing zero erection issues while having had regular sexual activity before porn usage, and I know one of those veterans also has noted that in their experience it seems like it’s the guys who were exposed to porn before being exposed to consistent real sex who encounter issues.

To emphasize, I will stress that this does not mean with absolutism that porn is the issue for everyone as there can be other factors too, or working in combination with porn - such as health, diet, forms of drug usage, etc.

Every context will have its idiosyncrasies, so this is why it’s important to address common factors (like potential PIED and exercise) one by one whether he's a porn user or not.

So this just further supports that if a guy is having erection issues and uses porn even occasionally, he should stop at least temporarily in order to eliminate any possible factors because there can be many degrees of interplay between “what” is causing the issues.

This is not “NoPorn” or “NoFap” – I don’t give a fuck about labels and it’s neither of those things anyway – this is “eliminate/improve any potential factor so he can have a consistently enjoyable sex life.

With that, I’ll get into some discussion on solutions/individualized reasons like I mentioned before.


Solutions for Those "Younger Guys"

Since I assume that someone with ED issues will find this thread – whether PIED is a factor for them or not – I’d like to provide my take on how to address these issues. I will be discussing actionable solutions here rather than “societal” solutions because they’re far more relevant if a guy is having an issue.

One of the most mainstream “solutions” that’s given by general practitioners (I even got this) is that it’s “psychosomatic.” Man, if I ever was totally glowing with anger it’s when I went in to that dumb clinic and that guy told me “it’s psychosomatic.” Aside from being totally low resolution and highly unactionable, “psychosomatic factors” are more among the LAST things that I would recommend are addressed… not the first thing someone in a position of "expertise" tells people.

It’s truly an injustice that it’s among the most common “diagnosis” dished out if someone is having erection issues and might be done without evaluating/addressing other factors.

So for a guy with ED issues, I would recommend they try to to address the following. It's broken down by 3 "phases" - if the one prior to it is not improving the situation over months, then take a look at the next.

These are actionable solutions that work towards eliminating/improving common factors of ED, of course with the young male resolving the roots of his issues in mind – like if they’re 70 that’s a different thing lol.

Some are more brick to forehead than others, but for those I’ll try to discuss how it might be addressed in lower-resistance ways, etc. Also some may apply to certain people, and some may already be doing them - which is a good start in that case.

Phase 1 (things to start with – all free/low cost + actionable to address potential factors):
  • Ensure regular exercise - obvious factor
    • If a guy with ED is doing this already, great – keep at it. If a guy isn’t doing it, it’s common for these guys to feel a resistance towards “going to the gym” or “I don’t have the equipment” and so forth. In these cases, I’d recommend starting to exercise in ways that are “functional” – things like daily walks for a set time/distance, resistance bands, stretches, and bodyweight exercises. These are free or low cost solutions that a guy can implement without the resistance of maybe even leaving his bedroom, but they can help maintain good, accessible, low-resistance habits that are functional for a healthy lifestyle
      • Resistance bands are a low-cost purchase, and many workout programs are available to free online. Example here (free) and here (paid) – also tons of videos on YouTube. Guy doesn’t need to be Schwarzenegger to get hard or for seduction anyway - he just needs to get going. It’s a way to do that. I also do resistance band exercises myself, and honestly it keeps me where I need to be – a lean 170ish is ideal for my frame, and it helps me maintain that with plenty of definition/vascularity. Other guys may have their own intentions that require a gym, and of course we are talking solutions and there's many ways to get it done.
    • Can also incorporate pelvic floor/Kegel exercises (study)

  • Keep a relatively clean and healthy diet - obvious factor
    • Needless to say, lots of heated opinions on eating habits and varies based on the individual, so this is one I won't get into much. But while I’ve always been lean, I know I’m not KJing when I say that you don’t need to rely on an expensive program or expensive pre-made meals either. So find what works I guess, not going to be that guy telling others how to eat - but obviously good health is going to be helpful for this issue and others

  • Completely eliminate porn use in the short term, and at very least until erections are happening with women without issue
    • Remember he’s having issues here, this is not necessarily “anti-porn” - it’s “let’s eliminate the most problem factors to resolve a significant issue in his life”
    • If he needs to, then he can block porn keywords on his computer using an app like FocusMeor a browser add-on, etc.
      • Make sure to whitelist seduction sites like Witch60.com/SkilledSeducer/GirlsChase/etc
      • And if he lapses and finds a website that is not blocked/he wants to block, he can block it manually like this as one example for some computers. If he’s tech savvy, there are ways around it, but for most it’s functional and it creates a barrier of resistance to get past it as well
      • Can also lock SafeSearch as another barrier of resistance
    • If possible, delete porn/porn-lite/potentially masturbation triggering social media like TikTok, IG, etc. If used for business purposes or can't be avoided, then make it a habit to take care of whatever is necessary on there and immediately close it with no idling, or explore other ways to increase barriers of resistance to limit exposure to potentially triggering content
      • Consider the triggers for it too - did it become a habit to flip through TikTok at a certain time of day/location, such as resting in bed? So think about porn-inducing/masturbatory inducing triggers
      • Does swiping through a dating app trigger it? If so, same things about making it a habit to take care of business and close immediately + not idle. Or stick to cold approach, etc, at least until ED issues resolve
      • Can potentially restrict maximum use time for apps on the device as well

  • Eliminate or limit ejaculation though masturbation to a maximum of once every X days - at most probably maybe 1/week or whatever. Or he can just not ejaculate except for with women while he is working at it (or long term)
    • Guess I have to be clear this is not a a “NoFap superpowers” thing - this is a “resolve miswirings in his brain” so he can have enjoyable sex type thing. Doesn’t have to totally eliminate ejaculation lol, and still can/should ejaculate with women (I did when I was working on it)
    • This can also help with sexual projection/mirror neurons in field
    • I’d recommend NO masturbation through porn (obviously) or dancing girls on TikTok lol. Still images – maybe okay, have heard that it's okay it's not that big of a deal for some guys. Similarly with from thought

  • Eliminate recreational drug usage, if applicable. Not “anti-recreational drugs” or whatever, I don’t give a fuck, this is eliminate potential factors so he can have enjoyable sex for the rest of his life
    • Stat on ED and weed for example - "Data suggest that ED is twice as high in cannabis users compared to controls." (link)
    • Also eliminate smoking, if applicable, as a possible factor
    • If he really wants to do whatever then cool, he can try it again when he starts resolving the ED and see if it affects it, but until then it’s gotta be a strong recommendation against it as a potential variable unless shown otherwise
    • Chase linked the alcohol think so seems like there's some muddy waters on that subject. Though if there's an ED issue and regular alcohol usage, he could always see what happens if he cut down on it

  • Pursue and ideally maintain regular sex (potentially with multiple women)
    • Hopefully the guy can at least get hard enough at some point for penetration, which may include rubbing himself while with a girl or by having her give a blowjob, etc. If he can’t get hard at all yet, like at all at all, then he still needs to keep trying to engage in whatever sexual activities he can - foreplay, kissing/grinding, etc. And keep approaching/working girls if he isn’t converting to relationships, which is possible if he’s having erection issues
    • More experience naturally can overall help with command of situations, enjoying the experience and focusing on that, getting exposure to different women, etc
    • Make sure condoms aren’t too tight if using condoms
      • Should be an uncommon case, but this could be something that’s a factor if a guy gets hard but isn’t consistently staying hard after putting on a condom
      • Personally condoms that I like are Skyn condoms, which feel great to me and are also non-latex in case the girl has a latex allergy (she might not even know)
      • Again this is going to be uncommon, but if a guy still feels like it’s too tight, he can try custom sized condoms such as MyOne
      • If he’s not using condoms then that’s a different discussion and people have various thoughts on that, but if he is then the fit is a consideration if he gets hard but can’t stay hard
      • Also in the area of the fit being off on something, there's a bit of a mixed opinion on "tight underwear/pants" being a possible thing, but hey could be an easy thing to test if it applies to the guy (though has been shown to affect "semen quality")

  • Regular sleeping schedule with enough sleep
    • How much is "enough" probably varies by person, but it’s common sense to test and see what works and feels best with every individual body
    • Sleep linked to erection stuff

  • Reduce/eliminate potential stress factors
    • The whole process should be helping this, along with “mental health” overall
    • Can be complicated and highly individualized, but if it’s something/someone exposure can be limited to, then they can try that and iteratively refine methods
    • If it’s something like school - well your health is way more important. Get enough rest and do enjoyable things if school’s not enjoyable – if it’s helping you work towards a goal then do what you need to with the most efficient possible stufy habits and just keep it moving

  • If they are taking unneeded medication/supplements, check to see if it can contribute to ED
    • If it’s like anti-seizure stuff or whatnot, then of course keep doing what you need to do there and try to continue addressing the other factors. If they’re like antidepressants… I’ll just say make your own decision there
    • Antidepressents linked to ED - "Amitriptyline, imipramine (Tofranil), doxepin (Silenor), and other TCAs have been linked to ED. Estimates suggest that sexual side effects potentially happen to about 30% of people taking these medications"

  • The extent of anything touching “psychosomatic” at this point would be for when he is having sex to focus on immersing himself in the experience - her body, the sensations, the way his cock feels rubbing against her body things, breathing well, things like that
    • Of course constantly worrying about getting an erection isn’t going to help, either. But solely “psychosomatic” as “the” root cause is far less actionable besides the simple, easily implementable thought shifts/frames like I mentioned
      • Even if it is "psychosomatic" - actioning on the other factors should help with that too
    • So we address the other probable factors and those certainly are not going to hurt him… but telling a guy “it’s psychosomatic” without proper solutions may potentially hurt him with a negative feedback loop of him worrying about it
    • And if he gets hard with porn or by the thought of porn but is inconsistent in his erections with women, it’s far more likely to be the result of those associations his brain made with porn that need to be fixed rather than dishing it out with a fancy “psychosymatic” label
In all, it’s pretty likely that they’ll see some improvement through these things. I can’t emphasize enough that every case may be a bit different, but by addressing these factors, it’s going to very likely be addressing one or more of his factors directly or tangentially and thus healthily helping the case at worst. Of course these are by no means an exclusive list and I’m sure there are other individualized factors which may help.

If he takes care of all these or whichever apply to him for a while and his erections improve, great, keep on going! If it resolves, even better.

And if he gets those in check but still having issues over a period of time, then he can keep maintaining those while also trying other things, too.

Phase 2 (If everything above has been implemented for months without result):

First off, he should keep on doing everything discussed above, but here are some additional things to consider:
  • Now is when a testosterone test might come in

  • Testing for potential infections/etc that may contribute to ED, such as a prostate gland infection that also may have been caused by a prior STD

  • Can also check for high blood pressure, standard panels, etc.
    • If the guy was previously unhealthy, hopefully it would have improved with diet/exercise/sleep/etc that he’s been working on, or maybe these can signal another medical factor at play

  • Now this is one I rarely see mentioned and never saw in my initial research on ED: varioceles
    • ~15% of adult men have what’s called a varicocele (it can also develop in adolescence) and it also can contribute to ED. Oftentimes they also may cause the testicles to feel heavy/with aching, so if that’s a thing with ED issues then get it checked
    • If a potential varicocele is suspected, then get an Ultrasound. If it’s a minor varicocele, then common thought is that it probably doesn’t need to be addressed, but it should be monitored as he continues to address other factors.
      • If it’s significant or the other fixes just aren’t helping, he may consider a varicocelectomy - though through my research I am of the mindset that surgery should only be done if it’s something affecting day to day comfort, or addressing the other factors for ED isn’t working over a period of months or years. It’s an operation with a lot of opinions around it, but if doing it, the microsurgery method probably seems like a method to consider
      • Varicoeles can potentially affect sperm counts too, so if wants kids or whatever and it’s affecting his sperm counts to be low, then that’s another decision factor for an operation with it (another test that can be done if they are contemplating a varicocelectomy is for sperm as it could affect the sperm if couples are trying to have kids, etc)
    • Dunno if varicoceles are more common nowadays than in past generations. Theories on potential causes are pretty limited as it is

  • Can try a nitric oxide boosting supplement, which is shown to aid erections
    • Studies - Link 1 (from POB here) and link 2 from Mike Silvertree
    • I used one from NutraBio – seems like it was the older version of this product. I do feel like it likely helped “jumpstart” my progress while I continued to address other factors. Eventually I stopped using the supplement after I had no longer had ED issues

  • Can try a ZMA supplement
    • Credit: POB
    • Both supplements above could also be included in "Phase 1," but my personal take on it at this point in my life is that I would prefer not leaning on a supplement unless I absolutely need to. And it also may necessitate replacing it and buying more, etc, so I’d personally recommend to try addressing the other factors first. But could try them at the start!

  • Can try a "penile cream" like this one
    • That linked one also includes L-arginine which may help
    • Definitely recommend the product I linked regardless. I’ve been using it for years now both with and without ED issuesand it really, really helps the feel of the penis skin and increase my levels of sensation from both penetration, blowjobs, etc.
      • (I’m circumcised, I know some guys get mad about getting circumcised or whatever, so something like this could very well help with sensation if that’s their thing or just are interested in more sensation as a whole). Lasts a long time too and is relatively cheap (especially when compared to other products in this area that aren’t as good)
    • So it may help stimulate bloodflow and also increase sensation levels that can help get/maintain erections, plus reduce any irritation if doing lots of fucking. So not a must have obviously, but it’s very good, all natural product that’s been a benefit to me overall. I’m a minimalist with products that need replacing these days but this is one I recommend. Haven’t tried it myself but they also have another variation in case the other one causes irritation based on a certain type of allergy I think, but I’ve never experienced that myself so haven't tried it, but could be something to consider based on the person.

  • Further reduce/eliminate ejaculation through masturbation at least until issues resolve

  • And still continue everything as applicable from Phase 1
Likely he’s going to be seeing some improvement, but if he still is having issues after months of consistent addressing/resolving those factors, it’s the unlikely “Phase 3”:

Phase 3 (if all else fails – probably unlikely)
  • Is he able to get erections at all? If he’s able to get erections WITH porn or with the thought of porn, then he needs to continue with Phase 1/2 stuff + totally eliminate masturbation for now

  • At this point he can try incorporating Cognitive Behavioral Therapy / body-oriented therapies (I did TRE through when I was working on resolving it, so who knows, maybe it helped too) that could be worth trying in these unlikely scenarios that addressing the others in combination didn’t resolve the issue. Or he can try implementing these as a healthy practice anyway

  • If he’s able to get erections but just not consistently in bed with women, he needs to keep going with the other solutions and he can think about now addressing “psychosomatic” stuff
    • But again, telling a guy right off the bat that it’s “psychosomatic” is kinda like telling a guy with AA “it’s all in your head bro” – i.e. not an actual solution. So maybe CBT/TRE could help there if that's really his thing after addressing everything else (even if it is, the other efforts may work at resolving it anyway, hence another benefit of doing those versus any unactionable cope type stuff

  • If he can’t get erect AT ALL after months of Phase 1/2, there could be a deeper health issue in play and he needs to see a legitimate
    specialist (not your family physician, not the guy at the campus clinic). See the best fucking andrologist you can. Do your research on them. Or if any iissues persist for extended periods, then seeing that top andrologist might be a good idea


So yeah, there’s my take on it from someone who has experienced it + researched it through resources and my own empiricism + 100% resolved it personally. And some potential solution pathways / clearing up some common things on it in case someone in need comes across this thread.

I know the solution section may have varied a bit from the OP, but I felt I was important to add because the thread may bring in guys searching about the issue. One more time – each case is individualized, but addressing the factors in this post should be a great start and healthy at minimum.

This is a real issue - it’s not fun, but regardless of whatever dymamics behind it, at the end of the day it can be addressed and can likely be resolved in many cases if the guy chooses to do so.

Hope this post can help dig into the matter and potentially help someone who comes across this as well.
 
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Will_V

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I had a few issues early on, but it turned out to be a case of worrying about whether the way I treated girls during sex was somehow the way it was 'supposed' to be done. Fortunately when I lost the virginity I was very much in a 'me against the world' phase and had no trouble whatsoever, so that cemented a good experience in my mind. But thereafter (especially in early relationships where I felt there was somehow more long-term scrutiny) the idea that I had to conform to some expectations caused me some trouble.

In the end what solved it for me (and I haven't had any issues for a long time) is to remove sex entirely from any notion of social convention. It's a temporary detour into an entirely primitive state where my head switches off and my instincts have free reign. The only requirement is that we're both enjoying it - and by trial and error you end up quickly expanding your perspective of what that can entail.

I can only imagine what it's like for a young guy growing up in an era where he is bombarded with the idea that so much as looking at a girl is a form of harrassment, and all the internal conflicts and blockages that would result in.
 

Spyce D

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I can only imagine what it's like for a young guy growing up in an era where he is bombarded with the idea that so much as looking at a girl is a form of harrassment, and all the internal conflicts and blockages that would result in.

It's funny because in conservative societies ... It's similar but rather than harrassment ,it would be seen as immoral and what not .

Phrases like "Treat women like how you would treat your mother and sister" , "Women cause conflict " etc. have been used to shun men for talking/flirting with women before marriage .

But , whether a man wants to follow is his choice . And , I don't know what's the worst that can happen if you approach a girl / have fling with her in west becuase in conservative societies you can be shamed publically, socially ostracized , shot dead , burnt alive and all the bad stuff ........ But does it stop some men from banging chicks (even in conservative villages) ....Short answer - No.
 
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Will_V

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It's funny because in conservative societies ... It's similar but rather than harrassment ,it would be seen as immoral and what not .

Phrases like "Treat women like how you would treat your mother and sister" , "Women cause conflict " etc. have been used to shun men for talking/flirting with women before marriage .

But , whether a man wants to follow is his choice . And , I don't know what's the worst that can happen if you approach a girl / have fling with her in west becuase in conservative societies you can be shamed publically, socially ostracized , shot dead , burnt alive and all the bad stuff ........ But does it stop some men from banging chicks (even in conservative villages) ....Short answer - No.

Yes, there are a few reasons .. some guys just don't have much inhibition or fear .. and then there are guys who have simply learned painfully at some point in their lives that rules are not designed for the benefit of each individual, and realize that they were always in a danger zone of a different sort - so why not trade it for risk that actually can lead to a great reward?
 

Derek da man

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When I look at it just anecdotally, it looks to me like young guys are having a lot more trouble getting it up and keeping it up than they used to, just based on how often guys are reporting this. I don't recall hearing about this nearly as much when I was younger, either on seduction boards or from buddies.

But maybe it just wasn't as discussed? I certainly wasn't talking about it when I went through it in 2007. I was just like, "Crap! Gotta figure this out. Why's my dick suddenly not working with new girls?" Maybe young guys are just more open about stuff they're dealing with now, due to the decline in machismo / masculinity culture?
When I was younger it simply wasn't talked about. I was taught about it at school in 1985 but apart from that any mention of it would result in laughing and humiliation - that was the accepted social context of the time.

When I was with my first girl friend in the early 1990's I suffered from ED and got counseling through my GP, but it was never talked about in a social context, but then neither were any other mental conditions such as anxiety, depression and the like. The times we live in now are very different in many ways so I think it's quite difficult to say that it wasn't common in the past, I just don't think it was ever talked about so identifying an historical base line becomes very difficult without access to survey data.

I don't do drugs, I drink occasionally and am generally fairly fit. Back then I was very fit as I was competing and performing sports at a national level so it was solely down to mental state of mind. Porn was much more difficult to obtain than now but it was available and enjoyed but not as excessively as it is now.

Just my 2 cents worth from an old timer.
 

POB

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When I was growing up, porn was a "dark secret."
I had to get fake IDs to buy magazines and bootleg my friends' VHS tapes.
It was HARD to get masturbation material.
Today I can open Tiktok and see hordes of young teens dancing in tiny bikinis and twerking at will.
 
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orkie123

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There is another factor. Many guys are just less experienced than the girls they are going to be sleeping with. It's not even just the number of partners, it's the amount, variety, and consistency of sex. There is also usually less pressure on girls to perform.

Like in my LR, while it's not going to ruin my confidence that a girl decided to leave straight after and be openly disappointed, it can cause some subconscious confidence issues. The difference between me having a FWB and potentially consistent sex for a while with a cute girl and the situation now where I doubt I'll see her again is because of things that are not fully in my control short term. I'm tempted to try Skills' suggestion of having some blue pills nearby for first time encounters, but I also don't want to rely on them given that the problem is psychological.

I have the least ED issues when I have a consistent supply of sex, do not fap and I'm confident in the direction i'm going in life. So maybe using a few pills to help me get to that point in life is a risk worth taking.
 

Regal Tiger

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31, not sure if that classifies as older or not but here's my short story

I only seem to have problems with new girls. After they're no longer new then I'm good

Probably just overly focused on the girl and her experience
 

Chase

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Great replies, guys.

Seems like there are a lot of potential reasons for the potential rise in ED. Ones guys have offered here are:
  • The decline in young men’s testosterone
  • Too much porn and masturbation
  • Rising cocaine use
  • Rising anxiety levels
  • Higher medicalization
  • Social programming (leading to internal conflicts, inhibitions, etc.)
No real smoking gun though. e.g.

I had been exposed to porn at that point, though it was lesbian BDSM stuff with no penetration, and thankfully, I didn’t go that much further down the rabbithole like others that have gotten their arousal mechanisms hooked on crazy things… I mean I’ve seen a guy in the “community” who said it was to the point where he was only getting jacking off to anal fisting ffs.

I was the jack-off champ for almost a decade before I started getting girls. I consumed tons of lesbian porn… loved it. I probably spent an hour+ per day wanking at some points. Once I started getting laid I had zero problems with erections though; like @POB my problem was it took me forever to cum. Girls would go from wet and orgasming to dry and asking me if I wasn’t close to cumming yet after an hour or 90 minutes!

One thing I’ve wondered is how porn is affecting men who watch it, because if it’s turning them into voyeurs I could see that being it. The titty mags Baby Boomers and Gen Xers used were just “naked girl, imagine yourself fucking her.” When I got into porn in the 1990s there was still a lot of solo girl and lesbian stuff. But by the 2000s I quit watching the (scrambled) Vivid Video hardcore and Cinemax softcore flicks because it was just “dude + chick” “cock in vagina” “cock getting blow jobbed” all the time. I’d turn it on, see a dick, and be like, “Fucking gay!” and turn that shit back off. Over the early 2000s I noticed how websites I visited that used to be just solo girls or solo girls + lesbian gradually started introducing guy + girl stuff until eventually it was just cocks and balls all over the place and I quit going there.

For me porn was always about putting my cock directly into the scene. Whatever was in front of me, that’s where the cock goes. I used to be rubbing my cock directly on the magazine or screen sometimes, lol. Imagine doing that if there was a penis on the screen.

So my theory on porn has been, “Guys are watching all this dick porn now, watching some other dude fuck girls… even if they are imagining the cock on screen is theirs, they still have to know there’s one cock in front of them fucking that girl, and another cock hanging between their legs. That can’t be good for the reward circuits in their brains processing sexual satisfaction. You have to rewire the brain to get off on that.”

But @Lofty is here saying lesbian porn caused ED in him… Lofty did you imagine jumping into the scene and fucking those girls, just plowing your dick right into them, when you were watching it? Or was it more of a detached voyeur deal?

I haven’t watched porn videos in ages. But when I did the only thing I wanted to jizz to was the girl’s wet, open vagina, because that’s where I wanted to imagine my cock going. If it shifted to showing the chick’s face or tits as I was cumming I’d be like, “Damn it!” If it was one of those videos where some dude is creeping in the bushes watching the chicks lick each other out and it switched right to the dude as I was watching it was like “GOD DAMN IT! Now this dude has my jizz all over his polo shirt. That wasn’t fun at all.”

Anyway, I do wonder if there is a mental shift going on with guys watching porn now… where instead of imagining themselves in the action, literally just jumping into the scene and thrusting their dicks right into the tits and pussies on-screen, they are in this much more voyeuristic mode where the brain is getting re-mapped to getting off on watching someone else fuck a girl instead of doing the fucking themselves.

I think I quit porn and most masturbation when I got into pickup though, so I was probably months off it when I started getting laid. That might be a part of it too.

There is another factor. Many guys are just less experienced than the girls they are going to be sleeping with. It's not even just the number of partners, it's the amount, variety, and consistency of sex. There is also usually less pressure on girls to perform.

I guess I would ask where the girls are getting that experience if that is the case.

Do you mean the “fewer men are fucking more women” thing, so now there’s a raft of men at the bottom of the “sex totem pole” who are less experienced than the girls they’re getting?

Though even if that were the case, I’d wonder if it was enough. The first chick I shagged was some nympho I picked up at a nightclub. The next morning she told me the sex the night before was pretty bad but it was good in the morning and she came, so she realized I must have just been drunk the last night. Really I just had no idea what I was doing that night! No problems with erections though, and I was a guy who had a LOT of anxiety issues.

I suspect even if some guys are feeling pressured with more experienced girls it’s not likely a primary cause.

31, not sure if that classifies as older or not but here's my short story

I only seem to have problems with new girls. After they're no longer new then I'm good

Probably just overly focused on the girl and her experience

Yeah, I’d say guys who are turning 30 now or slightly older are about the age group where I started noticing what looked to me like a sudden uptick in erection problems.

Seems like a lot of guys report the “new girl limp dick” problem. That was the one that got me for a few months in 2007. It wasn’t there before and then all of a sudden one day it was, “Oh no, what if I can’t perform?” and I started getting limp dick with girls.

I’ve had girls tell me about this happening with men as well. It’s not a new thing though. I had girls telling me 20 years ago about trying to hook up with guys but the guys’ dicks went limp. The funniest was a female coworker telling me about a male coworker she tried to hook up with but he couldn’t get it up. The guy had always seemed like this cool, masculine, witty devil-may-care type. Ever after though I knew he tried to shag that coworker chick but could not get hard! (didn’t make me like him any less or not respect him; just a funny dissonance between “cool, masculine guy” and “can’t get hard for a chick”)

Chase
 

Regal Tiger

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Great replies, guys.

Seems like there are a lot of potential reasons for the potential rise in ED. Ones guys have offered here are:
  • The decline in young men’s testosterone
  • Too much porn and masturbation
  • Rising cocaine use
  • Rising anxiety levels
  • Higher medicalization
  • Social programming (leading to internal conflicts, inhibitions, etc.)
No real smoking gun though. e.g.



I was the jack-off champ for almost a decade before I started getting girls. I consumed tons of lesbian porn… loved it. I probably spent an hour+ per day wanking at some points. Once I started getting laid I had zero problems with erections though; like @POB my problem was it took me forever to cum. Girls would go from wet and orgasming to dry and asking me if I wasn’t close to cumming yet after an hour or 90 minutes!

One thing I’ve wondered is how porn is affecting men who watch it, because if it’s turning them into voyeurs I could see that being it. The titty mags Baby Boomers and Gen Xers used were just “naked girl, imagine yourself fucking her.” When I got into porn in the 1990s there was still a lot of solo girl and lesbian stuff. But by the 2000s I quit watching the (scrambled) Vivid Video hardcore and Cinemax softcore flicks because it was just “dude + chick” “cock in vagina” “cock getting blow jobbed” all the time. I’d turn it on, see a dick, and be like, “Fucking gay!” and turn that shit back off. Over the early 2000s I noticed how websites I visited that used to be just solo girls or solo girls + lesbian gradually started introducing guy + girl stuff until eventually it was just cocks and balls all over the place and I quit going there.

For me porn was always about putting my cock directly into the scene. Whatever was in front of me, that’s where the cock goes. I used to be rubbing my cock directly on the magazine or screen sometimes, lol. Imagine doing that if there was a penis on the screen.

So my theory on porn has been, “Guys are watching all this dick porn now, watching some other dude fuck girls… even if they are imagining the cock on screen is theirs, they still have to know there’s one cock in front of them fucking that girl, and another cock hanging between their legs. That can’t be good for the reward circuits in their brains processing sexual satisfaction. You have to rewire the brain to get off on that.”

But @Lofty is here saying lesbian porn caused ED in him… Lofty did you imagine jumping into the scene and fucking those girls, just plowing your dick right into them, when you were watching it? Or was it more of a detached voyeur deal?

I haven’t watched porn videos in ages. But when I did the only thing I wanted to jizz to was the girl’s wet, open vagina, because that’s where I wanted to imagine my cock going. If it shifted to showing the chick’s face or tits as I was cumming I’d be like, “Damn it!” If it was one of those videos where some dude is creeping in the bushes watching the chicks lick each other out and it switched right to the dude as I was watching it was like “GOD DAMN IT! Now this dude has my jizz all over his polo shirt. That wasn’t fun at all.”

Anyway, I do wonder if there is a mental shift going on with guys watching porn now… where instead of imagining themselves in the action, literally just jumping into the scene and thrusting their dicks right into the tits and pussies on-screen, they are in this much more voyeuristic mode where the brain is getting re-mapped to getting off on watching someone else fuck a girl instead of doing the fucking themselves.

I think I quit porn and most masturbation when I got into pickup though, so I was probably months off it when I started getting laid. That might be a part of it too.



I guess I would ask where the girls are getting that experience if that is the case.

Do you mean the “fewer men are fucking more women” thing, so now there’s a raft of men at the bottom of the “sex totem pole” who are less experienced than the girls they’re getting?

Though even if that were the case, I’d wonder if it was enough. The first chick I shagged was some nympho I picked up at a nightclub. The next morning she told me the sex the night before was pretty bad but it was good in the morning and she came, so she realized I must have just been drunk the last night. Really I just had no idea what I was doing that night! No problems with erections though, and I was a guy who had a LOT of anxiety issues.

I suspect even if some guys are feeling pressured with more experienced girls it’s not likely a primary cause.
You've actually just reminded me of something. I still consume porn every once in a while, not nearly as much as when I was a teen though (my record was 8 times in a single day lmao... good ole frustrating high school). Anyways, I've noticed a lot more weird shit on the net and half of my time is spent scrolling just to avoid all of it to find something somewhat normal... and even then sometimes I just give up on even finding anything

Like, lots of really older women and younger guys, and lots, and I mean lots of incest all of a sudden. Sorry, but I just can't stay hard when I hear "oh my gawd brother" every 5 fucking seconds

Then there's the stuff that appears normal at first but for whatever reason we just have to do an anal inspection on mr lucky every minute on the minute. Like cool gang, really appreciate being able to see some dude's sack bouncing in my face. That really gets the blood pumping y'know? /sarcasm


I'd say I'm definitely different when it comes to porn usage, it's never caused me any problems. I'll still will sometimes watch while regularly getting laid, even if the usage dramatically dies down.

But then again, I've never gone overboard on it either. Turn it off when I'm done, even fantasizing while watching it (sometimes using memories, sometimes just whatever). Never gone to the weird shit, never gone to the abnormal stuff either. And lastly, my time usage is just to get it done as quickly as possible. After like 40 minutes I just get bored and give up. Even how much porn I consume changes a lot (I always assumed I had a kind of cycle like a woman does). Sometimes needing it every day to then going like once a week or less
--> I'd assume this also has something to do with if I'm even around women at all in the first place
Yeah, I’d say guys who are turning 30 now or slightly older are about the age group where I started noticing what looked to me like a sudden uptick in erection problems.
I got to thinking about this after answering and then forgot to edit, but:

The number of new women hasn't been the greatest in these past few years, but I've noticed my mindsets have shifted a lot. With the relatively few new women I've had over the last few years I don't think I've had any issues with any of them. I also want to say that an article (here I'm pretty sure?) helped a lot about focusing what you like on the woman's body. Helped ground me back to my own pleasure

Hard to say if that article fixed it, or the changing mindsets did or even a combination?

Then again, it could just be all that I've experienced in the past few years have kinda numbed me to anxiety in general? Not much really gets to me anymore and I do remember being a fearful type back in the day (typical type 5 Enneagram -- really enjoyed that article as someone who used to hardcore study that stuff btw, and you're right, absolute chick crack)
Seems like a lot of guys report the “new girl limp dick” problem. That was the one that got me for a few months in 2007. It wasn’t there before and then all of a sudden one day it was, “Oh no, what if I can’t perform?” and I started getting limp dick with girls.

I’ve had girls tell me about this happening with men as well. It’s not a new thing though. I had girls telling me 20 years ago about trying to hook up with guys but the guys’ dicks went limp. The funniest was a female coworker telling me about a male coworker she tried to hook up with but he couldn’t get it up. The guy had always seemed like this cool, masculine, witty devil-may-care type. Ever after though I knew he tried to shag that coworker chick but could not get hard! (didn’t make me like him any less or not respect him; just a funny dissonance between “cool, masculine guy” and “can’t get hard for a chick”)

Chase
Yeah, I'd say there was definitely some fear in there. Probably a big part of it


So I basically just made it my mission to get it in even if it was limp. The problem always sorted itself out after that. Almost like a mission achieved sort of thing? Pressure's off maybe? Hard to explain really
 

Kaida

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Messages
541
I agree that these problems are almost fully psychological. I fixed a lot of them this way.

I’m 18, and I’ve had some problems with erection strength. I was exposed to porn at a young age (7 years old!) and am still working to remove it from my life.

My first sexual experience was at 17 and, while I had no erection problems (only erection strength), I did prematurely ejaculate. Erection strength maxed out at about 70% unless I spent a long time with my imagination, and my dick only got fully flaccid on rare occassions, usually 20-30% at rest

I improved on both by masturbating to my imagination trying to go for as long as possible, even imagining the slow burn of the foreplay to get me as hard as possible before I started.

I also set a timer and did not come at the end of the session. This took my stamina from one stroke wonder to 5mins+. Not much, but an improvement. Improved my normal “erection max” as well to about 85%. My dick also got fully flaccid more often.

My progress with both problems tend to immediately take a tank once I watch porn, even if I’m not masturbating to it.

Hope this helps
 

Lofty

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Messages
242
I was the jack-off champ for almost a decade before I started getting girls. I consumed tons of lesbian porn… loved it. I probably spent an hour+ per day wanking at some points. Once I started getting laid I had zero problems with erections though; like @POB my problem was it took me forever to cum. Girls would go from wet and orgasming to dry and asking me if I wasn’t close to cumming yet after an hour or 90 minutes!

One thing I’ve wondered is how porn is affecting men who watch it, because if it’s turning them into voyeurs I could see that being it. The titty mags Baby Boomers and Gen Xers used were just “naked girl, imagine yourself fucking her.” When I got into porn in the 1990s there was still a lot of solo girl and lesbian stuff. But by the 2000s I quit watching the (scrambled) Vivid Video hardcore and Cinemax softcore flicks because it was just “dude + chick” “cock in vagina” “cock getting blow jobbed” all the time. I’d turn it on, see a dick, and be like, “Fucking gay!” and turn that shit back off. Over the early 2000s I noticed how websites I visited that used to be just solo girls or solo girls + lesbian gradually started introducing guy + girl stuff until eventually it was just cocks and balls all over the place and I quit going there.

For me porn was always about putting my cock directly into the scene. Whatever was in front of me, that’s where the cock goes. I used to be rubbing my cock directly on the magazine or screen sometimes, lol. Imagine doing that if there was a penis on the screen.

So my theory on porn has been, “Guys are watching all this dick porn now, watching some other dude fuck girls… even if they are imagining the cock on screen is theirs, they still have to know there’s one cock in front of them fucking that girl, and another cock hanging between their legs. That can’t be good for the reward circuits in their brains processing sexual satisfaction. You have to rewire the brain to get off on that.”

But @Lofty is here saying lesbian porn caused ED in him… Lofty did you imagine jumping into the scene and fucking those girls, just plowing your dick right into them, when you were watching it? Or was it more of a detached voyeur deal?

I haven’t watched porn videos in ages. But when I did the only thing I wanted to jizz to was the girl’s wet, open vagina, because that’s where I wanted to imagine my cock going. If it shifted to showing the chick’s face or tits as I was cumming I’d be like, “Damn it!” If it was one of those videos where some dude is creeping in the bushes watching the chicks lick each other out and it switched right to the dude as I was watching it was like “GOD DAMN IT! Now this dude has my jizz all over his polo shirt. That wasn’t fun at all.”

Anyway, I do wonder if there is a mental shift going on with guys watching porn now… where instead of imagining themselves in the action, literally just jumping into the scene and thrusting their dicks right into the tits and pussies on-screen, they are in this much more voyeuristic mode where the brain is getting re-mapped to getting off on watching someone else fuck a girl instead of doing the fucking themselves.

I think I quit porn and most masturbation when I got into pickup though, so I was probably months off it when I started getting laid. That might be a part of it too.
Hey, just seeing this post now!

Lol I was similar where the visual or notion of any apparatus besides my dick in a girl’s orifices – other dude’s dicks, strap-ons, dildos – was like a visceral “NOPE!” Same thing with dudes being involved at all… wasn’t my thing either. Just wanted to see the chicks 😂 (note: I know some guys like/don’t mind seeing dicks involved, so to each their own - not meaning anything about those who do.)

Interesting with the observations about how that kind of porn proliferated – connecting the dots here, I think it points to the directions porn seemed to go down:
  • Seems like more and more it came to include lots of “hyperstimulation” type stuff, with bouncing body parts everywhere/tons of fast-paced visual stimuli. Porn sites (and risqué social media content) are blatantly littered with garbage like that, and obviously that exploits the stimulation mechanisms of the male brain. Even the lesbian stuff on mainstream sites could get pretty jarring to me with all that, so I landed on the more “amateur” lesbian BDSM stuff that didn’t have all the sped up stuff, etc. But seems like plenty get hooked on that stuff in one way or another.
    • Overall, appears like porn (maybe especially the big studio productions) became especially engineered to trigger addiction mechanisms in the brain. This probably went alongside screen/technology addiction being exploited more and more as technology has grown as a whole. Can see how that might affect reward mechanisms in the brain, and it does seem very plausible that it’s affecting how the brain is reacting to naked bodies in person after having the baseline shifted to high stimulation stuff on screens.

  • Many varieties of porn developed and became super accessible as both technology and the “porn infrastructure” (lol at that term) grew. Now both “professional” and “amateur” studios could just upload their vids to platforms and diversify through “fetishes.”
    • Fetishy stuff maybe also permeated more throughout social media/popular culture and helped to introduce more people to them at earlier stages of maturity/sexual experience. That might play into shifting the perception of what “sex” is too, as opposed to the predominant focus being on vaginal penetration as you were thinking. That gets into your question which I’ll cover a bit below.

  • As the modern porn watcher becomes desensitized to whatever they’re watching - which was likely already “hyperstimulation” to begin with compared to the porn of yore - they are likely driven to continuously seek more novel stimulation through the wide diversity of porn now easily available.
    • This drug-like loop may increasingly rewire the brain’s erection mechanisms as they drift further and further away from being triggered by real-life sex/thoughts of traditional penetrative sex. For example, the individual who was hooked on the thought of anal fisting versus Chase’s of “my dick in her pussy.” If that rewiring happens to an impressionable young brain, that could be a lot of rewiring going on like discussed earlier.
That’s a great distinction with also considering how the porn is watched/consumed. It definitely is very reasonable that the shifting accessibility, variety, and baselines of porn affected the way guys were watching it - especially if someone gets in that loop of diving deeper down those porn rabbitholes before the solidify their perceptions of "real" sex… hence encouraging a divergence from the “my cock in her pussy” thinking.

So for sure that might be another component there… where now there are factors of both his erection mechanisms being rewired away from “dick in pussy” sex AND how his perceptions of what "real sex" has been thrown off.

Then all this gets into your question –

But @Lofty is here saying lesbian porn caused ED in him… Lofty did you imagine jumping into the scene and fucking those girls, just plowing your dick right into them, when you were watching it? Or was it more of a detached voyeur deal?

I haven’t watched porn videos in ages. But when I did the only thing I wanted to jizz to was the girl’s wet, open vagina, because that’s where I wanted to imagine my cock going. If it shifted to showing the chick’s face or tits as I was cumming I’d be like, “Damn it!” If it was one of those videos where some dude is creeping in the bushes watching the chicks lick each other out and it switched right to the dude as I was watching it was like “GOD DAMN IT! Now this dude has my jizz all over his polo shirt. That wasn’t fun at all.”

Anyway, I do wonder if there is a mental shift going on with guys watching porn now… where instead of imagining themselves in the action, literally just jumping into the scene and thrusting their dicks right into the tits and pussies on-screen, they are in this much more voyeuristic mode where the brain is getting re-mapped to getting off on watching someone else fuck a girl instead of doing the fucking themselves.

I think I quit porn and most masturbation when I got into pickup though, so I was probably months off it when I started getting laid. That might be a part of it too.
Yeah I was imagining myself part of it and, in particular, dominating the most dominant girl lol. Though, what dominating meant to me wasn’t always exclusively vaginal penetration… the thought of fucking the girls was a part of it, but by the time I was getting nice success in-field and stopped porn I didn’t necessarily have a tunnel vision on fucking/cumming in her pussy.

Blowjobs, the thought of her kneeling in front of me, collar/leash play, and Dominant/submissive kink stuff in general were kinda the main things I would think about… where I ended up with the lesbian porn might’ve been different than where you did with landing on the BDSM side of it too.

And with the “perceptions of sex thing” - you can probably remember how I was 100% projecting these perceptions in my early lays. Like fuck, I wanted to put a leash on her and have her worship my cock in front of a mirror, which again, was totally represented in my early lays when I actually did that stuff on ONS for fuck's sake haha. Looking back, obviously those projections resulted in me doing “too much too soon” in a number of ways on some of those early lays. Thankfully I learned a bunch from it, including with advice of you and others, and now I feel awesome with how I manage sex on the first lay and beyond... with both the regular and kinky stuff 😜

Interestingly enough, I was having an easier time getting hard from blowjobs and having her gaze up at me from her knees, so “the way porn is watched rewiring erections away from vaginal penetration” does feels like a potential factor there in addition to whatever myriad of variables could’ve been at play. Of course, the physical sensation of her mouth probably played a role too, lol.

Also can note that each time I saw some inconsistency with the erections, eventually I was able to get hard and fuck her – it was really just the inconsistency of getting hard at first. Once I got hard, I was in pretty good shape with it and felt like I could last however long I wanted/cum when I wanted, plus I could cum multiple times with her if I wanted. So a bit different with our experiences there as well, though I also didn't have an issue with stamina/premature ejaculation either, which of course some do report.

My only inconsistencies after getting hard came if switching positions took a little long or something, but that also got smoother with experience. Something which also helped that I think you or someone recommended was even if not fully hard to just gradually slide your cock in as much as possible, and while I was inside her to whatever degree it did help to get fully erect as well. So additional things to try there for guys.

Naturally I think just more and more sexual experience with different partners helped too as the brain solidified those connections. Like I imagine continued sexual experience helped you cum easier as well.

So yep. there’s also that huge amount of individualization between cases with whatever combination of getting hard, staying hard, cumming, premature ejaculation, etc.

Also again, that's why it’s great that those first line of defenses for ED can address a lot of those potential factors simultaneously :)

But yeah, while the voyeur idea may not have exactly matched my personal experience, I'd say the voyeur hypothesis for sure makes sense as a possible factor playing into it. Especially for guys with really bad porn addictions who just browse and browse as their feedback loops worsen. Then that also might take their brain further and further away from having erections connected to that vaginal penetration as they are voyeur down the porn rabbithole. Makes sense!

I guess to wrap it up, we could probably meld together the thoughts.

So if we were to put together these lines of thinking in a few sentences, perhaps it could read something like:

The further the porn-watching brain gets from “my dick inside this girl” as the erection mechanism, it’s possible he might have ED issues - maybe especially if that mechanism has been rewired prior to in-person sexual exposure. This rewiring appears to be more common nowadays due to the way porn, the accessibility of novel porn, and the corresponding porn watching habits developed. With shifting social dynamics also decreasing the likelihood of in-person sexual exposure at younger ages, it increases the likelihood that - given those dynamics of modern porn as discussed - his erection mechanisms are rewired away from vaginal penetration with real women prior to him having consistent sexual exposure, hence proliferating the frequency of issues compared to older generations.

There's gonna be those variations with each case, but maybe something like this gets into one of the general compasses on the issue. Cool adding your thoughts/experiences into it!

Yeah though, hopefully any guys searching about this issue and find this thread can use these resources to resolve them or ideally even prevent them from happening in the first place!
 

Bifrost

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Oct 7, 2017
Messages
4
I’m glad this topic got started. I’m turning 31 in a few weeks and still can’t figure out why I can’t get any sort of normal erection with a girl in-person.

I used (almost entirely lesbian) porn/masturbation for about 1-2 years in early high school, but stopped both just before I was 16. Had a few very short (1-2 week) relapses four years apart until I ended up jerking with erotica at the age of 25 after a bad rejection. That kept going for about three years before I cut both out completely.

Didn’t end up getting any real action with a girl until I was 25 and couldn’t get it up at all that night. Lost my virginity the following year with a partially limp dick. Have had a few more girls since then, but have had ED with all of them. The last one I was actually seeing for a few days in a row and still had issues each time after the first time with her.

Finally went to a urologist a couple years ago who said it was likely mental, but prescribed me Cialis anyway and a blood test. I’ve had no trouble getting some form of morning wood nearly every night (even if it’s not as hard as it was in my early 20s) and I still get a couple of random boners during the day. Blood test came back saying everything was normal (in fact, my T levels are high – about 10% above the upper limit of the average range for my age) and that I’m in good health.

Problem is that even with the Cialis (5mg/day – higher doses give me flu symptoms), I can’t maintain an erection in-person. It seems whenever I’m in a scenario with an attractive girl I want to bang, my dick goes super limp, yet seems to still endlessly leak precum. Even direct stimulation in these scenarios doesn’t work as well as when I’m going solo. So bizarre. Also seems that the head of my boy (without the foreskin) is ultra-sensitive (I’m uncircumcised). So, whenever I do actually get it hard enough for penetration, my boy retreats right when anything touches his unprotected head. The skin always rolls back during penetration. Condoms reduce that sensitivity a bit, but not enough to make it fully pleasurable.

This doesn’t sound like the standard “bad wiring because of porn” since I’m so far removed from that now. So, I’m real confused. Anyone go through a similar situation and manage to figure out what the issue was?
 

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
872
Can try a "penile cream" like this one
  • That linked one also includes L-arginine which may help
  • Definitely recommend the product I linked regardless. I’ve been using it for years now both with and without ED issuesand it really, really helps the feel of the penis skin and increase my levels of sensation from both penetration, blowjobs, etc.
    • (I’m circumcised, I know some guys get mad about getting circumcised or whatever, so something like this could very well help with sensation if that’s their thing or just are interested in more sensation as a whole). Lasts a long time too and is relatively cheap (especially when compared to other products in this area that aren’t as good)
  • So it may help stimulate bloodflow and also increase sensation levels that can help get/maintain erections, plus reduce any irritation if doing lots of fucking. So not a must have obviously, but it’s very good, all natural product that’s been a benefit to me overall. I’m a minimalist with products that need replacing these days but this is one I recommend. Haven’t tried it myself but they also have another variation in case the other one causes irritation based on a certain type of allergy I think, but I’ve never experienced that myself so haven't tried it, but could be something to consider based on the person.

Just wanted to chime in that I ended up buying this product and would also endorse it as doing good things for my junk
 

OldGuy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
69
No problem until in my mid fifties. Tried cialis and Viagra, but too hard to get. Now I u\take L-Argintine and Horny Goat Weed and few problems (unless sleep deprived.\).
 
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