Should you have a baby at 25 as an aspiring entrepreneur?

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
Girlschase has changed my life. I started reading the website at 17 years old and it was the only content that actually pushed me towards consistent results, which I will always be grateful for.

I am currently in a conundrum and I hope this thread serves to help someone that has gone, is going, or will go through the same.

My situation:

I'm 22 years old, 30+ lay count, and I want to build a million dollar company to secure myself financially for life while helping as many people as I can with my products. I've had mild success in the past, but the business ended up not working out. I plan to continue trying until I achieve my goal because even though I could make it in the corporate world, I think I would always have a feeling of 'what if' throughout all my life.

I have been in a one-sided monogamous relationship with my girlfriend for 9 months (she's monogamous). She is 30 years old, looks like 26 years old. She is a primary school teacher and loves travelling on her own/with me. She does not find business appealing, nor self-help books.

Throughout our relationship we have always joked around about her wanting a baby from me and I would always brush it off. Obviously, considering her age it is normal for her to want a baby in the near future. In fact, she has said that she would want one in 2 to 4 years.

Problems/Questions:

1. Would I be mature enough at 25 to raise a baby? I want to be the best father that I can be.

2. I'm currently building a new company, which I plan to scale to six figures or more per year. Would a time-frame of 2 to 4 years be enough to reach that level? Would the pressure of having a baby impact my decision-making in the business? And would I be at risk of giving up my dream of entrepreneurship for a safer path should things not work out as fast as I would want?

3. I am concerned for the level of ambition that my girlfriend has. I want to do big things with my life in the field of business and philanthropy, but it seems that my girlfriend would be content with being a primary school teacher and travelling to new places whenever she could (I love travelling too, but there are bigger things I want to do). Is a primary school teacher a service profession? Should I seek a girlfriend with higher ambition or a different career? How much is too much ambition in a woman?

Hopefully you guys can relate to my situation and my post can help you in some way. Feel free to ask any questions and I would really appreciate any feedback if you have anything to contribute.

It would mean the world to me if Chase could answer this as it seems that we have similar life goals and tend towards similar character traits in women (beauty, ambition, positivity and spark, smart, understanding of what it means to start from nothing and struggle, partner-in-crime, good career, conservative).
 

Sub-Zero

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
801
Do you really want a baby in a few years? You want to keep your girl that much?

Chase has an article about the 2 year drop and that basically means that if the relationship doesn’t evolve in that time, it’s pretty much done, but it’s not 100% because I went past it without changing anything.

Anyway, if this is something that you won’t have to worry about in another 2-4 years, don’t worry about it now.

Who knows if you’ll be with that girl still at that time.

So just focus on your business, make her as happy as you can, and then decide if it’s something you when the time comes.
 

Velasco

Modern Human
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
663
 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
Do you really want a baby in a few years? You want to keep your girl that much?

Chase has an article about the 2 year drop and that basically means that if the relationship doesn’t evolve in that time, it’s pretty much done, but it’s not 100% because I went past it without changing anything.

Anyway, if this is something that you won’t have to worry about in another 2-4 years, don’t worry about it now.

Who knows if you’ll be with that girl still at that time.

So just focus on your business, make her as happy as you can, and then decide if it’s something you when the time comes.
Hi Sub-Zero, thank you for your reply.

In a way I'd like to be a young father, but I feel that I may impede my progress as an entrepreneur if not outright knock me into the rat race.

I am aware of the 2 year drop and I am glad you went through it with no issues. She has made it clear that if I don't want kids in 2 to 4 years then she probably could not continue in this relationship. We are going to discuss that this Friday.

I myself am not sure if I'll want kids in 2-4 years. Would that be a viable answer? Even if she agreed to that uncertainty, wouldn't it be morally wrong to continue the relationship if I'm unsure?

I will focus on my business and I appreciate your advice.

All the best
 
Last edited:

Sub-Zero

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
801
Hi Sub-Zero, thank you for your reply.

In a way I'd like to be a young father, but I feel that I may impede my progress as an entrepreneur if not outright knock me into the rat race.

I am aware of the 2 year drop and I am glad you went through it with no issues. She has made it clear that if I don't want kids in 2 to 4 years then she probably could not continue in this relationship. We are going to discuss that this Friday.

I myself am not sure if I'll want kids in 2-4 years. Would that be a viable answer? Even if she agreed to that uncertainty, wouldn't it be morally wrong to continue the relationship if I'm unsure?

I will focus on my business and I appreciate your advice.

All the best,
Guido
You’ll learn that women say things and don’t even remember them sometimes. For all you know she could pull the baby card on you in one year, never take what women say at face value.

You are not morally wrong, don’t promise her anything.

Like I said you don’t know if you’ll be with this girl in 2-4 years from now so I wouldn’t worry about it at all.

She’s actually giving you a lot of time to think about it compare to most chicks. Maybe you’ll want a kid by then, maybe you won’t.

I would just focus on the business and see how you feel later on, but you can’t tell her you want kids and then later on say Idk because it’ll just be an argument.

What kind of business are you tryna run and how do you plan to learn? Just curious.
 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
You’ll learn that women say things and don’t even remember them sometimes. For all you know she could pull the baby card on you in one year, never take what women say at face value.

You are not morally wrong, don’t promise her anything.

Like I said you don’t know if you’ll be with this girl in 2-4 years from now so I wouldn’t worry about it at all.

She’s actually giving you a lot of time to think about it compare to most chicks. Maybe you’ll want a kid by then, maybe you won’t.

I would just focus on the business and see how you feel later on, but you can’t tell her you want kids and then later on say Idk because it’ll just be an argument.

What kind of business are you tryna run and how do you plan to learn? Just curious.
I agree with your argument, I will tell her that I don't know what I will want and she has to decide if that is okay with her.

I created a membership for professionals that work from home or are transitioning to help them set the right habits and create structure. The point is to increase productivity and overall happiness at work in a typically structureless and lonely environment. I'm launching next week and happy to hear your feedback.

Have you yourself ever started a business? If so, what was it? If not, why not? (Hopefully not too personal questions)
 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
Thank you for sharing the post. I have heard of the crossover in SMV in men and women and I'm aware that she is starting to look for more stability in a male partner.

I would say that I am still in the lover category for her, even though we are in a relationship. But I also have some provider qualities as she thinks that I would make a good father. So I think that contributes to her trying to lock me down.

Either way, good to read about the topic again, and thank you for your feedback Velasco.
 

Sub-Zero

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
801
I agree with your argument, I will tell her that I don't know what I will want and she has to decide if that is okay with her.

I created a membership for professionals that work from home or are transitioning to help them set the right habits and create structure. The point is to increase productivity and overall happiness at work in a typically structureless and lonely environment. I'm launching next week and happy to hear your feedback.

Have you yourself ever started a business? If so, what was it? If not, why not? (Hopefully not too personal questions)
Nah I haven’t started one, plan to though.

Yeah, show me when you launch, would love to look at it.
 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
Nah I haven’t started one, plan to though.

Yeah, show me when you launch, would love to look at it.
Yeah, never too late or early to start. Check out Alex Becker on YouTube if you want start.

The group is live already, just haven't started the ads. If you have fb I can invite you.

Cheers
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
540
2. I'm currently building a new company, which I plan to scale to six figures or more per year. Would a time-frame of 2 to 4 years be enough to reach that level?
Why do you ask about this on a forum full of primarily hedonists and players? We know how to get you to the triple digits, not to six figures, if you catch what I am saying.

Your question also makes zero sense until you go to great details about what you are doing like the target market value, why you are better than competitors. what sort of economic value you add, how easily sold this product is, how you are going to scale your business etc, and even then, chances are that you will get bullshit responses as most people here are 100% KJ on entrepreneurship. Go ask actual entrepreneurs with documented success in your trade instead of pimps, drunkards and sex addicts about this.

Generally I think your idea about reproducing is terrible before you either 1) have your business running with a solid surplus or 2) know you can easily get well-paid corporate jobs (in plural that is; you want to easily be able to ditch your job for another one if the boss turns out to be a tyrant or similar).
 
Last edited:

Mike Silvertree

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
186
Location
A long time ago
I have direct knowledge of what it is like having a baby. My wife and I did that.

I was 37, she was 34, we had been a couple for 15 years and lived together for 10. We decided we both wanted to have a child, and that our time was running out, so it was time to get going on it. We realized that we needed to get married and buy a nice little house we could afford in safe neighborhood before we had a child.

Getting married took about 8 months to arrange a proper wedding and get it done. Then we began looking for a house. After spending 18 months looking at used houses, we decided that we needed to build a house, which cost more, but allowed us to start with all new appliances and stuff like the furnace, water heater, garage door opener, air conditioner, because we would be tight on cash. By the time the house was done, we had signed away the next 30 years of our life to house payments, and we were moved in, it was three years since we had gotten married.

Then we started working on getting pregnant. Much to our surprise, it didn't happen right away. It was like, you never get what you want. We had spent 18 years being careful not to have an accidental pregnancy, only to find it difficult to have one when we wanted. But we kept at it. Observation; we were having sex every other night she wasn't having her period, and she was in the best mood I can recall from our whole relationship except the first few months, when we also were having sex 3-4 times a week. Whatever women may say, more sex puts them in a better mood.

Finally, it worked. We made it to 20 weeks when the baby died. After several months when her period resumed normal rhythm, we started at it again, and her mood improved again. ;) This time it took another year before we got her pregnant. This time it worked and we came home from the hospital with a healthy baby girl. It was 7 years after we decided to do this.

My wife had saved up 50 days of sick leave and was able to stay home from work two months, going back when she had 7 days of sick leave left. Luckily, I worked as the one man IT department at a medium size business, the boss liked me, liked kids, and I was not replaceable. This allowed me to stay home during the day, watch the kid, and do housework and shop and tend to other family business and chores, like lawn mowing and getting cars serviced. When the wife came home, I would head to work and work 4 hours. (I was well paid.) I also just took the kid in with me if there was some crisis; she would destroy the office and the old women who worked there loved it and stuffed her with cookies and candy, which kids never turn down.

Literally, from the day the kid came home until she was in Kindergarten, she needed an adult watching her 16 hours a day.This was like two full time jobs. We were both exhausted. It was only when she reached age 5 and went to school did the work load go down. And then, it was still a lot more work than our childless past. I had to drive her to and from school, attend meetings, school events, and after school activities. And it cost a lot of money, more than we guessed, to do it right. There was always one more thing we had to buy or another check to write for another activity.

Luckily we were doing alright and right after she was born, we refinanced the home on a 15 year mortgage, which ended house payments in her freshman year of high school. Real lucky, because three months after the last house payment, the furnace died. We had been in our home 19 years and all our stuff was dead, and college was on the horizon.

We continued spending money at a high rate until she graduated from college. Then we bought her a new car, because she was going to be a graduate researcher, and it is impossible to do that without a car. They pay her less than she needs to live in the large city she is in, so we still pay for all car expenses, including parking which is steep, her health insurance, and stuff like phones, tablets, laptops, and airline tickets, plus help when she needs it. At age 26, she is in the middle of her 8th year of college, is just starting her PhD project, and should be done in 2 years. Then she needs a Post Graduate Degree, where she will be paid a bit more; we expect she will still need support.

It looks like we will have spent a ton of money yearly for 35 years when it is all over.

I doubt I could have started or operated a new company while I was doing that, and done a good job as a parent. Unless you are Superman, I have my doubts about you doing both well too.

I really advise against having a child at this point. Especially if it is mostly her idea. If she can't wait, let her go. Once you are making good money and can afford a nice house, you will meet plenty of quality women looking to be housewives. Or you may realize by then that a better plan is a swank apartment in a high rise in the entertainment district and the Player Lifestyle. Which you will have earned.
 
Last edited:

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
4,752
Red flag. Man, i would be torn to be on your position.

But an entrepreneur, even a freelancer life versus her who make it clear she is content, you guys are just not fit together.

Don't make another baby born, pissed. There's many :)
 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
Why do you ask about this on a forum full of primarily hedonists and players? We know how to get you to the triple digits, not to six figures, if you catch what I am saying.

Your question also makes zero sense until you go to great details about what you are doing like the target market value, why you are better than competitors. what sort of economic value you add, how easily sold this product is, how you are going to scale your business etc, and even then, chances are that you will get bullshit responses as most people here are 100% KJ on entrepreneurship. Go ask actual entrepreneurs with documented success in your trade instead of pimps, drunkards and sex addicts about this.

Generally I think your idea about reproducing is terrible before you either 1) have your business running with a solid surplus or 2) know you can easily get well-paid corporate jobs (in plural that is; you want to easily be able to ditch your job for another one if the boss turns out to be a tyrant or similar).
Hi Carousel, thank you for feedback!

Yeah, I do get what you are saying. The reason why I asked is because I know that a lot of guys that are into seduction are also high-achievers in business or entrepreneurs.

I have had conversations with entrepreneur friends, but I wanted a seducers perspective on entrepreneurship and long term relationships.

And yes, I totally agree that reproducing is not a good idea until I'm stable, hence the reason why I am so conflicted in this decision. My dream of entrepreneurship will always be more important than any woman in my life and I mean to keep it that way.

I appreciate your time Carousel
 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
I have direct knowledge of what it is like having a baby. My wife and I did that.

I was 37, she was 34, we had been a couple for 15 years and lived together for 10. We decided we both wanted to have a child, and that our time was running out, so it was time to get going on it. We realized that we needed to get married and buy a nice little house we could afford in safe neighborhood before we had a child.

Getting married took about 8 months to arrange a proper wedding and get it done. Then we began looking for a house. After spending 18 months looking at used houses, we decided that we needed to build a house, which cost more, but allowed us to start with all new appliances and stuff like the furnace, water heater, garage door opener, air conditioner, because we would be tight on cash. By the time the house was done, we had signed away the next 30 years of our life to house payments, and we were moved in, it was three years since we had gotten married.

Then we started working on getting pregnant. Much to our surprise, it didn't happen right away. It was like, you never get what you want. We had spent 18 years being careful not to have an accidental pregnancy, only to find it difficult to have one when we wanted. But we kept at it. Observation; we were having sex every other night she wasn't having her period, and she was in the best mood I can recall from our whole relationship except the first few months, when we also were having sex 3-4 times a week. Whatever women may say, more sex puts them in a better mood.

Finally, it worked. We made it to 20 weeks when the baby died. After several months when her period resumed normal rhythm, we started at it again, and her mood improved again. ;) This time it took another year before we got her pregnant. This time it worked and we came home from the hospital with a healthy baby girl. It was 7 years after we decided to do this.

My wife had saved up 50 days of sick leave and was able to stay home from work two months, going back when she had 7 days of sick leave left. Luckily, I worked as the one man IT department at a medium size business, the boss liked me, liked kids, and I was not replaceable. This allowed me to stay home during the day, watch the kid, and do housework and shop and tend to other family business and chores, like lawn mowing and getting cars serviced. When the wife came home, I would head to work and work 4 hours. (I was well paid.) I also just took the kid in with me if there was some crisis; she would destroy the office and the old women who worked there loved it and stuffed her with cookies and candy, which kids never turn down.

Literally, from the day the kid came home until she was in Kindergarten, she needed an adult watching her 16 hours a day.This was like two full time jobs. We were both exhausted. It was only when she reached age 5 and went to school did the work load go down. And then, it was still a lot more work than our childless past. I had to drive her to and from school, attend meetings, school events, and after school activities. And it cost a lot of money, more than we guessed, to do it right. There was always one more thing we had to buy or another check to write for another activity.

Luckily we were doing alright and right after she was born, we refinanced the home on a 15 year mortgage, which ended house payments in her freshman year of high school. Real lucky, because three months after the last house payment, the furnace died. We had been in our home 19 years and all our stuff was dead, and college was on the horizon.

We continued spending money at a high rate until she graduated from college. Then we bought her a new car, because she was going to be a graduate researcher, and it is impossible to do that without a car. They pay her less than she needs to live in the large city she is in, so we still pay for all car expenses, including parking which is steep, her health insurance, and stuff like phones, tablets, laptops, and airline tickets, plus help when she needs it. At age 26, she is in the middle of her 8th year of college, is just starting her PhD project, and should be done in 2 years. Then she needs a Post Graduate Degree, where she will be paid a bit more; we expect she will still need support.

It looks like we will have spent a ton of money yearly for 35 years when it is all over.

I doubt I could have started or operated a new company while I was doing that, and done a good job as a parent. Unless you are Superman, I have my doubts about you doing both well too.

I really advise against having a child at this point. Especially if it is mostly her idea. If she can't wait, let her go. Once you are making good money and can afford a nice house, you will meet plenty of quality women looking to be housewives. Or you may realize by then that a better plan is a swank apartment in a high rise in the entertainment district and the Player Lifestyle. Which you will have earned.
Hi Mike, thank you for your long reply, very well written. Beautiful story to hear and it seems like you have raised a strong daughter. My condolences for losing your first baby, I can only imagine how saddening it was.

I can understand better now from your story that I may have underestimated the financial and time effort needed to raise a child. I'd say that I have decent levels of discipline and always improving but I feel like 2 jobs of that kind would be too much.

I guess her being the first girl that taught me to love again after years of empty faces (still fun though :) ) made me doubt my priorities. Mission is number 1 for me and thank you for reminding me of that.

When I get where I want to go, I'll reconsider having a baby because I think it is definitely a must do in life. Till then a lot of 12 hour days and hope to bring value to the world.

All the best and thanks Mike, you have made an impact. Hope your furnace is working again :)
 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
Red flag. Man, i would be torn to be on your position.

But an entrepreneur, even a freelancer life versus her who make it clear she is content, you guys are just not fit together.

Don't make another baby born, pissed. There's many :)
Hi ZacAdam, I have seen a lot of your posts around, thanks for replying.

She's is content with being a teacher which I have nothing against, and she has ambition to travel and dance, but not much else.

In a girlfriend, what kind of career would you seek if you are a entrepreneur/freelancer? And how do you personally measure ambition, by category or grandioseness?

Yes, I don't want to make another angry human in the world, that is why I wanted to clarify my thoughts :)

All the best and thanks for your time Zac.
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
4,752
She's is content with being a teacher which I have nothing against, and she has ambition to travel and dance, but not much else.
It's great but different genres. I dance too, in the past. I perform for my president with my students in 2011. I am inactive now. But I will have time for it.

But again, different area of interest.

In a girlfriend, what kind of career would you seek if you are a entrepreneur/freelancer? And how do you personally measure ambition, by category or grandioseness?
She must be at least an employee who is a supervisor or manager who is office hours. I have a client who is a 6 figure earner and his wife is an employee. They love each other, based on my seeings.

They have date nights. They take pictures on facebook everytime.

Basically, she must be somewhat management but not too high because she maybe busy or maybe you like her being higher in the hierarchy.

How i measure ambition?

Chase mention something about me quite long time ago. That i am too fleeting in the mind.


My girl must be spontaneous. And if she is not, she must not take over my life. I hate that. I smell that. Even the smallest of smallest. And all women are like that. That's why i don't date girls too long if they are hissing about stupid shit.


You want a girlfriend and wife, who is somewhat like you but structurally similar. You get what i mean?

I am fleeting in my mind but i am structure in what i pursue. That is truth of craft (Houdini), self awareness, and nuances.

:)
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
540
Yeah, I do get what you are saying. The reason why I asked is because I know that a lot of guys that are into seduction are also high-achievers in business or entrepreneurs.
A lot of good PUAs are broke or don't work or are still studying. Or work in unimpressive jobs. I don't know how you define "high achiever", but even among those who have succeeded in business, they may not have transferable experience to your case as the trade is different. You just can't naively extrapolate business advice between trades. Generic business advice applicable to all trades is usually just low-resolution or even BS, just like the general high-level programming languages are slower than machine code tailored to a specific processor architecture.

I have had conversations with entrepreneur friends, but I wanted a seducers perspective on entrepreneurship and long term relationships.
There are some PU guys here that are competent at LTRs (JWS, Chase, Skills for example). Also the materials of the other Franco, the one that posted at MASF are worth checking out.

However you should ABSOLUTELY NOT in general assume that the average PUA knows how to do LTRs. Seducing women is a very different skillset than keeping her around. Screening for easy sex is totally different from screening LTR material.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
771
Location
South Florida
There are some PU guys here that are competent at LTRs (JWS, Chase, Skills for example). Also the materials of the other Franco, the one that posted at MASF are worth checking out.

R material.

This made me lol, competent as in cheating... i don't believe a seducer can stay long term mono, he will go crazy or cheat on the side... From that list chase, and to my knowledge he can't last either...

For long term mono and your questions i recommend you take a look at this book, is pretty unbiased...:

 

guidaccio05

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
16
There are some PU guys here that are competent at LTRs (JWS, Chase, Skills for example). Also the materials of the other Franco, the one that posted at MASF are worth checking out.

However you should ABSOLUTELY NOT in general assume that the average PUA knows how to do LTRs. Seducing women is a very different skillset than keeping her around. Screening for easy sex is totally different from screening LTR material.
Thank you Carousel, will re-check the materials. Yes, I agree that seducing and keeping a woman around are completely different skill sets.
 
Top