Telling if a girl is into you in first couple of minutes

[barneystin]

Was going to post this in my journal but decided to post here to get more feedback:

I believe that, with experience, you can definitely tell within the first 10 minutes or so of talking to a girl whether or not she’d be open to going home with you (speaking for night game only). Sure there’s times where she might not seem into you and then things turn around for the better last minute but those are in rare cases

I’ve found that girls who would sleep with you definitely show signs though they can be really subtle. She just feels “open” to the conversation. This looks like
- paying attention to what you’re saying
- eye contact
- making remarks about you
- facing her body towards you

You can definitely tell. The longer I play this game of seduction, the more I subscribe to the belief that game is mostly about identifying girls who are into you and not fucking up/leading things correctly towards the bedroom.

You can still command attraction through your behavior. I’ve noticed situations where girls were neutral/friendly towards me and i definitely felt their attraction/comfort with me increase as we talked and she got to experience me but most of my lays are from the former situation.

The flowcharts look like:
Approach girl —> she’s attracted (open) —> lead things to bedroom (still involves good game but higher odds if logistics are good)

Approach girl —> she’s neutral/friendly/willing to entertain (due to having good fundamentals) —> she experiences you —> her attraction goes up —> lead things to bedroom (this path usually involves tighter game - increasing compliance, setting right frames etc)

Or maybe some girls are just harder to read initially

 

[Ratata]

I think you're onto something.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I’ve found that girls who would sleep with you definitely show signs though they can be really subtle. She just feels “open” to the conversation. This looks like

- paying attention to what you’re saying
- eye contact
- making remarks about you
- facing her body towards you

You can definitely tell.

We used to call these IOIs... indicators of interest. When you get them, qualify her... i.e. make her jump through some hoops and then give her deserved compliments (rather than generic ones). Really builds the vibe in a big way in your set.

Note that THE best PUA I've ever known recommended not to worry about IOIs too much because they can sometimes be misleading and sometimes IOIs are so subtle that you will miss them. Women can be mega subtle.

 

[Levo]

The longer I play this game of seduction, the more I subscribe to the belief that game is mostly about identifying girls who are into you and not fucking up/leading things correctly towards the bedroom.

Totally agree, I think most of getting good at game is reading a few books that explain the seduction roadmap and how mating works, you can get that in a month or two of reading. The real challenge is figuring out what your sticking points are aka what youre doing to fuck things up along the way and how youre leading the interactions in ways that are not toward the bedroom.

You can still command attraction through your behavior. I’ve noticed situations where girls were neutral/friendly towards me and i definitely felt their attraction/comfort with me increase as we talked and she got to experience me but most of my lays are from the former situation.

You mean that youre naturally attractive and have good subcoms that theyre attracted before you open. Ive seen plenty of research that the woman decides in the first seconds to minutes. The neutral ones still probably thought 'would' but were on the fence, the fact that you didnt fuck up and showed you value got them there.

The flowcharts look like:
Approach girl —> she’s attracted (open) —> lead things to bedroom (still involves good game but higher odds if logistics are good)

I always like to stay mindful and think about what my posts would look like to a newbie since this is a public forum. This really reminds me of that old meme format.

Step 1: Open
Step 2: She's Attracted
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Sex!

I know this is more of an advance post for advanced guys to weigh in on but you obviously have your fundamentals down. Tell everyone else what is in Step 3. What do you talk about before you bounce? How do you identify which girls are bounceable and which aren't? How are you logistics? Do you have a place near the club? How much do you escalate in the club before you get them to your place? Do you have an intermediate location or do you go straight from meet to bed? Dancing, yay or nay?

Or maybe some girls are just harder to read initially

I like to keep the frame of if shes still talking to you then shes interested. It serves you pretty well except every now and then you get a bored girl who will talk your ear off in a set to nowhere, but you learn to identify them pretty quickly too with little tests to see how she responds to your escalation, touch, sex talk, getting her to move, etc.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

 

[D. Gately]

Women decide inside of 20-30 seconds if you're fuckable or not. They likely decided before you crossed the room to get to them. It may take them a whole 2-3 more minutes to decide if they're willing to fuck you that night. If they were hot about you across the room and you show up in dirty white NB sneakers, you may have killed your chances, however.

Being able to read IOIs, subtle or not, and simply not fuck things up is a huge part of game.

I made a mistake in my last successful pickup, I was able to recover obviously but only because I noticed her micro-reaction to whatever I asked. And it was a simple, normal question, nothing kinky or out of left field.

Basically, I asked her how she felt about something [again, normal, vanilla] but for some reason I could tell it messed up her state slightly, she just wanted me to keep talking and touching her and convincing her. I don't even think she answered the query so I just kept right on going to what I was doing before.

 

[Skills]

I mean we have been talking about this for the last 6 months in the forum is called screening game...

 

[barneystin]

I know this is more of an advance post for advanced guys to weigh in on but you obviously have your fundamentals down. Tell everyone else what is in Step 3. What do you talk about before you bounce? How do you identify which girls are bounceable and which aren't? How are you logistics? Do you have a place near the club? How much do you escalate in the club before you get them to your place? Do you have an intermediate location or do you go straight from meet to bed? Dancing, yay or nay?

Just came back here to +1 on this comment after a bad weekend loll. “Not fucking it up/leading towards sex” is definitely not as easy as it sounds especially in chaotic night game environments

i lost so many girls who were obviously attracted to me because of so many reasons: they had to hang out with their friends who just joined them, they didn’t want to leave their friends, birthday groups, lost them when they went to bathroom and some other guy scooped them up, talking to 2-set myself because my wings weren’t interested in the other girl etc

My approaches were definitely solid and i got major IOIs from these girls but ultimately no touchdowns were made. Feels like most of my problems now is just logistics - the kind that I don’t have a lot of control over

 

[Dark_Stallion]

Just came back here to +1 on this comment after a bad weekend loll. “Not fucking it up/leading towards sex” is definitely not as easy as it sounds especially in chaotic night game environments

i lost so many girls who were obviously attracted to me because of so many reasons: they had to hang out with their friends who just joined them, they didn’t want to leave their friends, birthday groups, lost them when they went to bathroom and some other guy scooped them up, talking to 2-set myself because my wings weren’t interested in the other girl etc

My approaches were definitely solid and i got major IOIs from these girls but ultimately no touchdowns were made. Feels like most of my problems now is just logistics - the kind that I don’t have a lot of control over

Based on my latest nightgame post, had a similar issue(until the last girl but hopefully that’s a rare occurrence) would like to hear advice on how to solve this problem

 

[barneystin]

Based on my latest nightgame post, had a similar issue(until the last girl but hopefully that’s a rare occurrence) would like to hear advice on how to solve this problem

Been doing a post mortem on my weekend and all i can come up with is:

- Escalate fast and next girls fast. I definitely wasted time on some girls that i knew were attracted to me but didn’t allow themselves to be with me. I had a HB9 basically tell me “i’m into you but nowadays, i want to have more respect for myself and take things slow” (weird thing to say at a nightclub) and i wasted time having a deep conversation and trying to reframe things instead of just getting the number and moving on. So basically run a tighter screening process.

- Be more mindful of time: you only have about 2-3 hours of pick up prime time. That’s not the time to switch venues (without a girl in hand) or just hang around with friends. You want to maximize your leads and get an optimal number of girls as deep in your funnel/process as you can

- Approach a good number of girls. A lot of girls will be into you but you won’t be able to make things work because of their logistics (which you can’t necessarily control) but there will be girls with good enough logistics (e.g her and her friend went out to talk to guys/people i.e in a social mood) that you should be focusing on

 

[D. Gately]

Had you been using escalating kino, progressed past touching their arm or hair? Did you sexualize the convo early which is easier to do in a club environment? Were there any makeouts/grinding?

My $0.02 is that it's better in a nightclub setting to have a light, flirty conversation where you start bringing up sex than a 'deep conversation' that's better for 1-on-1 in a quiet location.

But you're right, it can be hard to get them out of their groups if they all went to the club to drink/dance together. We've all been there. Gotta next them and move on, esp if you're getting good IOIs from other girls. You cannot convince a girl who doesn't want to be convinced.

Having a place near the club can also be a lot of help. You can sneak them out and promise to bring them back right after.

If there's another venue nearby, no reason not to switch if you're not getting anywhere.

 

[barneystin]

Had you been using escalating kino, progressed past touching their arm or hair? Did you sexualize the convo early which is easier to do in a club environment? Were there any makeouts/grinding?

Yeahh I usually do a lot of escalation/sexualizing. See this FR

But recently i’ve been trying to tone down my make outs and stick to grinding, touching her lower back and arms, eye contact and innuendo when i can talk.

I did touch the waist of girl i mentioned to dance with her and she rejected it telling me she wanted to take it slow. Again poor decision making on my part lol