So this is a recurring topic I see not just on this forum but have seen about everywhere. While men who are hopelessly screwed when it comes to women and dating will be happy if any decent looking women gave them a shot, men who do have success run into this. You may like girls of a certain look but women of another look just like you more. A lot goes into this, often a bit out of your control. While even Chase himself and other more senior forum members have given advice, I think their advice has been incorrect which is something that only happens once in a blue moon.
First, take an honest look at yourself and ask if you really are that attractive of a guy.
We can talk fundamentals but I want you to focus on the looks and style aspect of it, are there improvements that can be made? Improve all you can about your look and things that a girl sees when she first sees you. You should be doing all of this anyways but if you are not, then start. We preach this all the time so no need to repeat.
Next, really determine your "type" and what is of highest priority. If it is body type or social groups and such, you can do a lot there.
Does your type revolve around athletic or hipster girls of any race? All that it would require is a lifestyle change. Athletic girls love athletic men and hipster girls love, well, hipster guys. You can be an athletic guy or hipster regardless of your race or background or even height. Short Asian guy? Go game short athletic girls, even short athletic Asians. Hipster black guy? Go date hipster girls, even hipster black girls. Now obviously if you want to fuck white supremacist women while being a minority, it's tough but I've seen it happen twice. Got some stories, got some stories......
Now if your type is not based on subcultures but more based on her race/ethnicity or her height being significantly taller than you, well that is where this thread starts.
In other words, you game women to whom your genetic features usually get close to breaking your chances with her.
If you are a 5'5 guy trying to date tall supermodels or an Indian/Pakistani guy trying to date hot Latinas, you more than have your work cut out for you. In both cases, things you cannot change about yourself are working significantly against you to where we can compare your struggle to that of a Liberal Democart candidate in America trying to win the state of Mississippi when he runs for president.
You can't just act a certain way, pursue a certain culture, or change your lifestyle to where it becomes a reality. In one case, nature is against you because women prefer guys taller than them.
This is not say that shorter guys cannot get taller girls, it happens all the time, but that same shorter guy would be knockin it out of the ballpark with girls around his height and dating better looking women. In the latter case, racism, disgust and social perception from a given culture towards South Asian men is so strong that the guy is facing an uphill battle. Despite what anyone says, social perceptions and biases do have a significant say in the kinds of men women go for.
First, ask yourself, is it really worth it?
I get that somewhere in nature, in a man's psychology, he wants what he cannot have. The more you realize this about yourself, the more you get grounded and start to think if a given goal is worth it or just a pointless waste of time.
See, there is a concept called
Pyrrhic Victory and I would urge all of you still reading to look more into it.
A Pyrrhic victory is a success that comes at the expense of great losses or costs, such as winning a hostile takeover bid or an expensive lawsuit.
www.investopedia.com
Pyrrhic victory is a victory or success that comes at the expense of great losses or costs. In business, examples of such a victory could include succeeding at a
hostile takeover bid or winning a lengthy and expensive lawsuit.
Relating back to this thread though, think about the short guy and tall girl example. Sure, the short guy can go to great lengths to get girls significantly taller than him by having the tightest game and going advanced on a consistent basis. Well, with that effort, he could have gotten girls around his height who were much hotter and he could have been with more of them. Was it worth it? No.
Same with the Indian guy example, with all of the alpha demeanor he might adopt to get a sexy Latina, sure he might land one here or there who he manages to break out of her social frame but think about it. Why bother? He could have easily spent that time to get hot white girls who are objectively holding the highest value in the sexual market place (ironically in Hispanic societies the more Euro blood she has the more she is worth to that society) and would have not held his race against him to the same degree.
The answer is no, it is not, and I assume I am on a board with sane people on it. So here is what you should do.
Live with the reality that you will have a lot less lays and from less pretty girls if you pursue your type almost exclusively.
So while as a Pakistani guy you could have been having threesomes with a hot redhead and a hot blonde, you are now stuck sleeping with a Latina that is a 7 at best after putting in the same effort and game. Just using an example, expect for quality and quantity to be lower if your type is culturally or by nature against you. You'd be foolish to only go after your type here. If you are that desperate, I'd say expand.
When I applied to college, you had "safety" schools, "matches", and then "reach" schools. Safety meant you were a shoe-in as a student, match meant you were the perfect match for it but not exactly a shoe in, and reach meant you had a low chance of getting in but if you did everything right then maybe you get in. Now if we use logic here, you'd be a fool to only apply to reach schools. So a smart student applied to a couple safety schools, some match schools, and then a handful of reaches.
Assuming you are at a level where you can get hot girls, appreciate that and cherish the beautiful women you can get.
If you are a short guy who cannot get tall girls on the regular, appreciate the women around your height that you can get on the regular, especially if they are hot. Hot girls that are short might not turn into super models but a pretty face and a tight body is good no matter what height you put it on. I've met countless good looking women who were short and I fell in love with them. In the case of the Indian guy, look bro, replace the two hot Latinas with two hot blondes, you're fucking the woman most other women envy and wish they looked like.
Appreciate them, cherish them, and genuinely love them. Never treat your market or the hand that feeds you poorly, it is foolish. We never appreciate the good that comes to us or the women who love us, only those that reject us. Always glass half empty. I'd actually make sure that women from groups that appreciate me are getting my best while the rest are even lucky to be there.
Bringing back the school example, I went to a state school after being rejected from an Ivy. At the time I was crushed but then as I got older, I realized something. I went to better parties, fucked hotter girls, and made more fun friends. My friends at Ivies fucked uglier girls, were stuck with dorks, and their party culture largely sucked. Did some of them go to Wall Street? Yeah but I realized I could make six figures without working 80+ hours in a soul-sucking job but rathe investing those 80 hours on things I loved to make me money.
It's not sour grapes, I wish I had appreciated going to a state school a lot sooner.
Learn to see weaknesses in your type and disregard that which you cannot have.
Hate is a strong word but devalue your "type" in your head. Supermodels are overrated and look like starved skeletons, you can see ribs on some of them. Some tall girls or freakishly tall girls just look weird as fuck. As for Latinas, their homelands are overrun by cartel violence and a large amount of them are short, fat, and age poorly. Not to mention all the negative stereotypes of Hispanics and how the whitest ones run everything in the society. Know that deep down most wish they were the pretty looking basic white girls.
You'll realize you see the most ideal version of your type, never her as she actually is. Once you see her as she actually is, you realize how dumb you were to obsess over women who look like her. Sometimes, you'll realize there are aspects of your life that your type might secretly envy. Case in point, if you are an Indian guy balls deep in a sexy blue eyed blonde, I'd bet a good deal of money that even the sexiest Latinas wish they looked like her.
Don't get your hopes up here right when you least want that hot girl of your type, she might be in your bed that one night.
Maybe you fucked that pretty blonde really good and she cannot help but talk about the Kama Sutra because well, you're brown. Now the pretty blonde has a sexy Latina friend who, obviously, has a lower status on the totem pole than she does. Sure, her people told her your kind are dirty, third world, hideous, and she only wins if she brings home an East Asian or a white guy but at this point, fuck it. Somehow, due to a woman's susceptibility to live by social biases of her group, she now wants to fuck you. Because of that pretty blonde you fucked so well who won't shut up about it, well, that Latina is drooling over you more than you ever drooled over her. Layups and easy pickings, they do not come often but boy when they do, they come hard and feel rewarding.
The thing is, when you stop caring so much about that which you cannot have, you live a happy life and many times, it finds you.
Cheat code: Just go see escorts of your type wherever it is legal.
Legal.
Not sure what the legality is but do some research here. If it is legal, then go see escorts of your type and fuck so many that you get it out of your system. Go to Colombia and keep seeing escorts in your whole time there. From what my Colombian friends tell me, the hottest girls ready for flings are escorts anyways. It is not game but at least you got it out of your system and fucked your type.
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