Socializing There is one thing I am just realising about the difference between daygame and nightgame

[StrayDog]

No its not. Its very very small. I have never heard of anyone learning daygame in a city with less than 500k- 1 million population but to be honest, if you are starting as a hard case, you definitely need a city with at least more than a million, bare minimum.

I learned in a city of about 100k.

it's doable, just slower moving. and a little more of a reputation risk.


Also I had some natural abilities so I wasn't exactly starting from 0

 

[StrayDog]

That's why I keep asking you guys if you would walk up and down your local town wearing a pair of camera glasses and describe what a "set" even is, because it seems that your expectations for an average small English city are somewhat off.

dude this is a lot to ask from most guys who aren't are building some brand around this kind of content.

yes it can for sure he helpful to see other dudes approaching, but ultimately pick up is something you have to figure out by doing.

I think you will get way more value from posting clear field reports about the precise technicals of your approaches, then applying the feed back you get (like using some of those openers/approach angles/vibe checks I have already mentioned), then you will seeing some other dude approach women. Not saying it's not valuable but it will only go so far, and can actually be a trap if you are not developing your own style any way.

 

[average_daygamer]

I am not forcing you to do anything. My intention is not to be harsh on you. I am just laying down the reality as I see it.

Your words here indicate that gym and martial arts are more important to you than solving your dating issues. That is okay. You dont have to justify that to anyone.

But Richard from the video from Street Attraction that you said you know about, do you think he got that good by prioritizing the gym and martial arts over approaching?

There were guys back in the day, who moved cities and slept in closets and crashed on other people's couches to learn pickup. The reality is that if you really want this, you have to prioritize this over everything else apart from your survival.

That is just reality. You cannot say, I will hit the gym, do martial arts, these are all more important than cold approach and then try to get good at this.

This is a hard and very rare skillset, there is no way you can acquire it without prioritizing it.

Its upto you, what you do. But that is the reality.

It just seems odd to me that most people don't have to prioritise this skillset in order to get laid once. It should be enough to tick over in the background. Oh and thanks for the statistics, I will reply in another comment to that thread

I have been daygaming on and off since 2018 and nightgaming less frequently since 2022.

Daygame is my preferred method because the daytime is when I am alert and have the most energy.

However it doesn't deliver the volume outside of major cities. Which leads to nightgame. Nightgame requires huge motivation to go out, especially in the winter, when all I want is to be tucked in bed.

I could get to London a couple of times per month but from watching infields, so few of the chicks actually live in London which makes it a problem unless the girl is really interested.

Oh and also, I don't know anyone else into pickup, which makes it harder, I don't have anyone's couch to crash on or provide real time feedback on my fundamentals. I have already spent money on coaches but that is a one and done kinda deal. It's a bleak, lonely journey out here, all to get laid once and then retire.

 

[StrayDog]

It just seems odd to me that most people don't have to prioritise this skillset in order to get laid once. It should be enough to tick over in the background. Oh and thanks for the statistics, I will reply in another comment to that thread

dude, it takes whatever it takes. everybody is gonna be at different levels. you either do what it takes for you, or your don't

Oh and also, I don't know anyone else into pickup, which makes it harder, I don't have anyone's couch to crash on or provide real time feedback on my fundamentals. I have already spent money on coaches but that is a one and done kinda deal. It's a bleak, lonely journey out here, all to get laid once and then retire.

dude, I learned entirely on my own. not even with the help of this forum.

If I were you I'd aim to stop focusing so much on the current state of lack, learn to enjoy the process, and take better advantage of the resources available to you here.

or pack up and decide pick up isn't for you

 

[AspiringStoic]

It just seems odd to me that most people don't have to prioritise this skillset in order to get laid once. It should be enough to tick over in the background.

This is like the guy crying over his height and saying its just sooo hard for me, you guys dont know. Blah blah blah.

Look nobody cares how it SHOULD be, it is what it is. You play the cards you are dealt. What good is going to come out of you whining about how much more easier it is for others??

You know you are on a pickup forum right? The reason most of us are here is because this was NOT easy for us! We had to go out of our way to figure this out.

I was a virgin before I found the community. I had hobbies too that I put on the back burner for a few years and put most of my free time into figuring out this stuff.

It took a year+ of online dating and slowly changing my behavior till I got good at getting laid from online.

Then I wanted to learn cold approach and realized my location was not amenable to do that. I relocated (which also entailed a career change) so that I could be in a city where I could learn cold approach.

Took 1 and a half years of daygaming with wings and trying to get past crippling AA to get some successes under my belt. Then Covid happened and all my wings left.

Then since last year, I have systematically worked myself up to where I can cold approach solo now and I am at the stage where I am.

So the idea that one does not need to prioritize this is absolutely laughable to me.

If I had just let this "tick over in the background" while focusing on other things like you are doing with the gym and martial arts, I would have still been a virgin.

Come on bro. Its time to wake up! You are living in fantasy land.

 

[gameboy]

I mean I don't like saying the whole "Hey, I just walked past you and you looked really beautiful" opener as I find it a bit cringe, but I don't know any other opener.

Rather than "you look really beautiful", point out something you like about her. Ideally something she chose herself, like a piece of clothing, hairstyle, something like that. Avoid stuff like body type obviously.

I would rather come up with a witty and slightly sarcastic opener,

Sarcastic? I'm not sure what you mean by that. Sarcastic about her? About something in the environment? I don't generally think that's a good idea, unless she has exactly your type of humor (which you can't know beforehand).

Anyway, the opener itself doesn't matter as much as one might think. You can make a comment about literally anything in the environment. If she's in the mood for talking, she will. If not, just move on.

 

[Ratata]

In daygame, you have to chase down girls and even then you can't approach without hesitation because it may not be clear how old the girl is.

You have to "chase down girls" to speak with them? Why don't you just go to a calmer, easier place, where people slow down and are more receptive to a chat? Or where they congregate naturally? Why-Oh-why do all these day gamers insist on doing in on the busiest corner of a highstreet??? Is there some secret competition I don't know about?

When I meet women during the day, it's in the book store or at the beach. Calm places. I don't run after girls who are already trying to catch the bus or the tube! I generally speak to girls at the pier, who are already sitting down and enjoying the sun. "Aw wow what a wonderful day. You been here long? Mind if I sit?" (Just to showcase like the dumbest thing you can say that still works, you don't even need an observation about her, small talk is enough!) Done. Or - and here's a revolutionary place to day game - the coffee shop...

If you want to be low key, ask if you can borrow her USB charging bank or something. Bad choice if your phone is already fully charged tho... Better yet, just go and sit down nearby some targets. Look around you. Catch the eye of one, sheepishly smile and just go "O hi dere".

And why does it matter how old the girl is? You'll get to know her age soon enough, and if she's too young to date then just bounce. Or tell her that she's just gonna have to wait a year until she can date you. It's not illegal to speak to people - even underage people. It's by opening your pie hole and uttering words that you find out if the girl is eligible for dating or not.

In nightgame, inside a venue atleast, you already know that girl is atleast 18 and you are already in proximity of dozens of girls. Also the girls in nightgame are usually 18-28 whereas you don't see an abundance of this demographic during the day and when you do, you often won't approach for aforementioned reasons, at least on the lower end of that age scale.

Yeah, it's horrible. Go over to the hottest girl. Make out with her a bit. Turn away for two seconds, now she's making out with someone else. Or worse, you make out with someone else, and now the first girl gets all mad and wants to give you a black eye. Clubs are pure chaos! But that can be your best friend (and a lot of fun) if you learn to live with it. (Even noise can be your best friend, cuz you get to practise yer non verbals.) So find a girl and get away from there as soon as possible. And then learn to deal with LMR (just baby-step it, first food, then a drink at a calm place, conveniently right nearby your place, but - ohhh - you forgot your jacket at home so go "Hey, come with, I need to fetch my ja" ... ohhh we're naked in my bed now...)

The reason I don't do more night game is because ...

Ok bro.

However, I do plan on ...

That's nice.

Now I don't know about you but spending £30 to have ...

IKR.

Oh and also I usually work a Saturday shift which tires me ...

Omg you poor soul! Woe is to you! But why should we care? Do you want to get laid or not? If the answer is "yes" then spare us the excuses, and let's get down to the brass tax. So, you like day game, let's talk day game. Nobody cares about why or why not you prefer Pepsi over Coca-Cola. What matters is how you can get it all for free! And while the lady at the soda stand gives you a BJ just for flirting with her.

Edit: Sorry for getting all lemon over you in this post. You seem genuine. But if you are truly genuine, then all we really want to know is what you did, and how you failed at it. We love people who try. But we hate people who make excuses.