- Joined
- Feb 13, 2013
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- 1,279
So, this *very* attractive girl approaches me at a bar last week and makes what I think is a fairly lame excuse to talk to me (she says she wants to know where her and her friend should get food, what's nearby etcetera). She could have asked anybody this, and she's giggling like a teenager as she's asking me. The girl she is with is standing over by their table and is trying to act like she's not watching us, but she is (and she's smiling to herself). I go through the motions quickly and name off a few places. Anyway, I continue the conversation and eventually me and my friend end up at their table talking. I knew she looked really put together, and it turns out she actually has a degree in Kinesiology, is a personal trainer and has done some fitness modeling and female fitness competitions. Very cool. It's a weeknight and they have to leave, so I number close.
Next afternoon I text her like I would any other girl. She's 26 years old, but while texting her I'm wondering about her social savviness because she seems to be really flighty and she jumps from subject to subject just saying random ass things. Anyway, to close out our initial text convo- I ask her out. My text is this: "Well hey, let's grab some food sometime or a couple drinks if you're down! " and she doesn't respond until the next morning. Her response, though, is a big sprawling text telling me about visiting her mom next month in Idaho, and ends with "Yeah, that would be great. What do you have in mind?", which is weird because I told her exactly what I had in mind (dinner/drinks). Is that a deflection?
Anyway, since she waited until next day to respond, I don't text her back until like 8 that evening. I say the Idaho trip sounds nice, and repeat my offer "Just dinner and/or a drink or two. Keep it simple, right? " and then she again doesn't respond until the next day, about lunch time. Her text doesn't make any sense either. Her response is like "Hey NJ, have you lost interest already?? Haha jk how was your day?" Doesn't respond at all to the date request. This is most definitely a deflection. And what is with the "have you lost interest already" bit?
So I decide to put her off, give her a day of radio silence. I text her two days later and we have another short convo that again ends with me offering a date, but I figure I'll offer something different this time. I offer the lower pressure "lunch or coffee" date. I tell her to let me know when she's free so we can meet up. Her last text to me is: "haha will do! Have a good night, NJ " I decide to completely write her off at this point.
The next evening she initiates a text convo, but the initial message from her is just "Hey". I wait 2 hours to respond, and I text back: "Hey, how was the play?" (she was going to a play), and we text back and forth a couple times and eventually I send her this: "So what's your schedule like? We should do lunch/dinner/something soon " and she replies "haha yes we should" but doesn't give me her schedule. So against my better judgement, I decide to tell her when I'M free instead. I reply "I could do Tues or Thurs next week. Or lunch any day except Wed", and she says "When do you do lunch? I have weekly meetings over lunch on Tue and Thurs" so I clarify that I meant I was free AFTER WORK on Tues and Thurs (even though it should have been obvious). She then just replies "Ahh I gotcha" but doesn't choose a day. That was last night, I didn't reply to her at all after that.
She approached me like a little high school girl in the cafeteria would approach the quarterback of the football team, is bubbly, engaged/engaging with me, seems so excited over text. She even initiates texting, but for some reason I can't get her out! I've had this happen before, where a girl tries to get you chasing her around. Chase told me to just lightly scold her like "You know, I've never really been very good at chasing people around. And you're trying to make me! But, I don't want to So if you are going to be free sometime soon you let me know, ok?"
Do you guys have this happen a lot? How many times should you let the girl deflect before employing the above strategy? Doing it too soon might seem kind of off-putting to her?
-NJ
Next afternoon I text her like I would any other girl. She's 26 years old, but while texting her I'm wondering about her social savviness because she seems to be really flighty and she jumps from subject to subject just saying random ass things. Anyway, to close out our initial text convo- I ask her out. My text is this: "Well hey, let's grab some food sometime or a couple drinks if you're down! " and she doesn't respond until the next morning. Her response, though, is a big sprawling text telling me about visiting her mom next month in Idaho, and ends with "Yeah, that would be great. What do you have in mind?", which is weird because I told her exactly what I had in mind (dinner/drinks). Is that a deflection?
Anyway, since she waited until next day to respond, I don't text her back until like 8 that evening. I say the Idaho trip sounds nice, and repeat my offer "Just dinner and/or a drink or two. Keep it simple, right? " and then she again doesn't respond until the next day, about lunch time. Her text doesn't make any sense either. Her response is like "Hey NJ, have you lost interest already?? Haha jk how was your day?" Doesn't respond at all to the date request. This is most definitely a deflection. And what is with the "have you lost interest already" bit?
So I decide to put her off, give her a day of radio silence. I text her two days later and we have another short convo that again ends with me offering a date, but I figure I'll offer something different this time. I offer the lower pressure "lunch or coffee" date. I tell her to let me know when she's free so we can meet up. Her last text to me is: "haha will do! Have a good night, NJ " I decide to completely write her off at this point.
The next evening she initiates a text convo, but the initial message from her is just "Hey". I wait 2 hours to respond, and I text back: "Hey, how was the play?" (she was going to a play), and we text back and forth a couple times and eventually I send her this: "So what's your schedule like? We should do lunch/dinner/something soon " and she replies "haha yes we should" but doesn't give me her schedule. So against my better judgement, I decide to tell her when I'M free instead. I reply "I could do Tues or Thurs next week. Or lunch any day except Wed", and she says "When do you do lunch? I have weekly meetings over lunch on Tue and Thurs" so I clarify that I meant I was free AFTER WORK on Tues and Thurs (even though it should have been obvious). She then just replies "Ahh I gotcha" but doesn't choose a day. That was last night, I didn't reply to her at all after that.
She approached me like a little high school girl in the cafeteria would approach the quarterback of the football team, is bubbly, engaged/engaging with me, seems so excited over text. She even initiates texting, but for some reason I can't get her out! I've had this happen before, where a girl tries to get you chasing her around. Chase told me to just lightly scold her like "You know, I've never really been very good at chasing people around. And you're trying to make me! But, I don't want to So if you are going to be free sometime soon you let me know, ok?"
Do you guys have this happen a lot? How many times should you let the girl deflect before employing the above strategy? Doing it too soon might seem kind of off-putting to her?
-NJ