University Cold Approach Advice?

[TwoNameGame]

I've lurked on here for a while now and read that the general consensus is: social circle game is king. However, I go to a commuter university with well over 30,000 students in SoCal, USA. Social Circles are too loose here, it seems, and the kinds of girls I have cold approached have completely different majors. Social circle game does NOT have what I seek.

I always leave a mark in my classes and people know my name or face more often than I know theirs because I participate everyday, help everyone, and know my stuff. I have a solid reputation among those who know me as a ballsy, excellent speaker who is reliable. In all honesty, I do it to reinforce my knowledge, but I am usually one of the class nerds/ teacher's pets. No one knows me as a PUA.

I'm wondering if there if there are others willing to pool knowledge for cold approaches in this context.

I use a mix of indirect-direct like the classic "Can you help me find X building? Just kidding, I wanted an excuse to talk to you" and direct like "You look stylish." I used to use low-effort indirect like "What would you say to strike up a conversation with someone you found interesting on campus?" but I failed to make my intentions clear enough and this backfired a few times. I try not to be too direct in crowds to avoid Anti-Slut Defenses. I also avoid kino after my first experience with a shoulder tap led to instant hostility.

I'm a beginner trying to tailor my approach to my environment since university can be a bit tricky.

 

[Gorili]

@TwoNameGame,

I've approached a lot on campus, and it won't be a problem if you take the right precautions. I'm also not a student at these universities.

However, I go to a commuter university with well over 30,000 students in SoCal, USA. Social Circles are too loose here, it seems, and the kinds of girls I have cold approached have completely different majors.

This is correct. Unlike four-year universities where everyone either dorms or lives in an apartment right off campus, which creates proximity, commuter schools and community colleges have even looser social circles. People are more anonymous and have fewer connections with one another. These are highly beneficial for cold approaches, as you are less likely to be known as "that guy."

I use a mix of indirect-direct like the classic "Can you help me find X building? Just kidding, I wanted an excuse to talk to you" and direct like "You look stylish." I used to use low-effort indirect like "What would you say to strike up a conversation with someone you found interesting on campus?" but I failed to make my intentions clear enough and this backfired a few times. I try not to be too direct in crowds to avoid Anti-Slut Defenses.

If you use direct only, it's really easy to get a reputation, especially if you're using the same line over and over again. I would monitor your school's Facebook group or Reddit page occasionally just to be safe if I were you since you're a student there.

I only use indirect these days. For the ones that aren't interested, you will be seen as a social guy who's just trying to chat people up. No harm no foul even if the conversation falls apart. For the ones that are interested, it's not difficult to have them hook hard as you gain experience over time. I don't post a lot, but you can read some of my past reports for reference on how I do things.

I also avoid kino after my first experience with a shoulder tap led to instant hostility.

I can't remember having such an adverse reaction. Is this shoulder tap during the opener? Did you open from behind? Things like handshakes and touching shoulders, upper arms, and forearms early on should not trigger these reactions even if these girls behave cold at first.


Other tips off the top of my head:

• Try to spread out the locations of your approach around campus and not do all of them in one area
• Similar to the point above, randomize the time and day of your approaches as classes mean that people will follow pretty set schedules
• Since it's a commuter school, it doesn't seem like weekends will have a lot of volume
• For the weekdays, lunch time should be really good, along with later in the afternoon when most people's classes end
• Not sure the exact surroundings but scout out the areas around the school (Target, Starbucks, other cafes, thrift stores, malls, etc.) to see if there are other good locations beyond your campus
• If things aren't panning out at your college, it doesn't hurt to put boots on the ground at nearby colleges. Not sure what part of SoCal you live, but there are some major universities out there with significant volume (UCs, CSUs, USC, etc.)
• From an inner game perspective, internalize that you're not doing anything wrong as you're just being social
• Check out the Girls Chase site too cuz they have some great articles for approaching on campus

 

[TwoNameGame]

If you use direct only, it's really easy to get a reputation, especially if you're using the same line over and over again. I would monitor your school's Facebook group or Reddit page occasionally just to be safe if I were you since you're a student there.

I switch it up, but I like complimenting a girl's style as this is legit what draws me in. My classmates complain of PUA's on Reddit and Discord, but no one's complaints remotely resemble my MO, so I think I'm just coming across as a social guy, like you said. The interactions are consistently pleasant experiences, sometimes boring, but almost never rude (see below). Oh, and on time I accidently used an opener that made the HB lump me in with annoying campus solicitors (ex. Donations, petitions, etc.).

I don't post a lot, but you can read some of my past reports for reference on how I do things.

Thanks, I'll check them out and probably upload some Field Reports for feedback.

I can't remember having such an adverse reaction. Is this shoulder tap during the opener?

Ok, my adverse reaction was where a pink-haired woman and I walked in opposite directions. She saw me approach her from ahead. I tapped her on the shoulder when I got next to her to get her attention, and she hit my arm away and angrily grumbled, "Get your fucking hands off of me." It was just a little tap and it was my first time trying that as opposed to a verbal opener. I understand this might be an anomaly and that pink hair might have something to do with it, but it freaked me out as there were other people around. No one else seemed to mind, but I got worried.

I do some light kino, though. I shake hands (I am considering holding for a bit to establish a romantic frame), I sometimes go for high fives or fist bumps in the beginning, and I once laughed along with a girl at a moment of energy and put my hand on her shoulder (she didn't complain). I just don't think my techniques are enough to escalate yet.

Try to spread out the locations of your approach around campus and not do all of them in one area.

Sounds good. I've explored 70% of campus and made most approaches at other sections away from most of my classes. I walk around a ton (enough to lose weight, actually).

Not sure the exact surroundings but scout out the areas around the school (Target, Starbucks, other cafes, thrift stores, malls, etc.) to see if there are other good locations beyond your campus.

There are mostly restaurants, cafés, and ice cream places. I doubt there are classmates there often, but I have been meaning to explore new places.

Check out the Girls Chase site too cuz they have some great articles for approaching on campus

Thanks. I've read a few, but I wanted to know if anyone had some personal experience that didn't rely on social circle. I've read many articles before deciding to ask around here.

 

[TwoNameGame]

I appreciate you reading my 2 replies. I'm new to communicatijf on forums.

Anyways, I wanted to thank you for your post and I wanted to add that I know a few placed on campus for insta-dates thanks to exploring (cafés, games, sports, a gallery, etc). Your field reports helped me understand a few things too.

I guess I wanted to know how to open indirectly while still being able to establish a romantic frame. Once when I opened indirect, I didn't establish a romantic frame. Like an idiot, I didn't ask her if she had a boyfriend until AFTER I got her number. Part of me going diredt is my attempt to correct by establishing interest, but I agree that indirect might be best.

 

[Gorili]

Forgot to add that the beginning of the school year / semester / quarter is prime time for meeting people in college. People are refreshed from break and open to form new connections.

As time passes, midterms / finals / studying / drama / can't wait to go back home will weigh people down a bit more. This doesn't mean you shouldn't approach but just speaking from experience.

I switch it up, but I like complimenting a girl's style as this is legit what draws me in.

This won't be a problem. What I meant by doing direct on campus was something along the lines of "are you single?", "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", etc. Lines like these will wear our your welcome very quickly if those are the only ones that you use, and you approach like a robot.

Oh, and on time I accidently used an opener that made the HB lump me in with annoying campus solicitors (ex. Donations, petitions, etc.).

I know what you mean. There are Christian groups, Jehovah's Witness, random political organizations, etc. on campus. If that happens, either switch to something more direct (like giving her a compliment) or dissociate yourself from these groups immediately.

Thanks, I'll check them out and probably upload some Field Reports for feedback.

Sure, I can take a look once you have those posted.

Ok, my adverse reaction was where a pink-haired woman and I walked in opposite directions. She saw me approach her from ahead. I tapped her on the shoulder when I got next to her to get her attention, and she hit my arm away and angrily grumbled, "Get your fucking hands off of me." It was just a little tap and it was my first time trying that as opposed to a verbal opener. I understand this might be an anomaly and that pink hair might have something to do with it, but it freaked me out as there were other people around. No one else seemed to mind, but I got worried.

This could be a one-off. If it doesn't happen often, don't read too much into it.

Since you're starting out, I would also introduce touch a bit later, like a minute into the conversation. Once you get the gist of things, you can introduce touch earlier and see what reactions you get and adjust as necessary.

I do some light kino, though. I shake hands (I am considering holding for a bit to establish a romantic frame), I sometimes go for high fives or fist bumps in the beginning, and I once laughed along with a girl at a moment of energy and put my hand on her shoulder (she didn't complain). I just don't think my techniques are enough to escalate yet.

These are all good routines that you're using. Things like high fives and fist bumps will put social pressure for them to return, so they're pretty easy to execute. As you get more experienced, putting your hands on her thighs, grabbing her waist, and slapping her ass, etc. will become new levels that you can unlock. I've done all of these on campus in broad daylight

Sounds good. I've explored 70% of campus and made most approaches at other sections away from most of my classes. I walk around a ton (enough to lose weight, actually).

Try checking out the big lawn areas on campus. Where I am, there's always a ton of girls there sitting or lying down with nothing to do. Some are even tanning.

There are mostly restaurants, cafés, and ice cream places.

Some cafes can be really good. I don't specialize in them, but if you're studying there or just hanging out, it's very easy to strike up a conversation. There might be a few good articles on the main site covering cafes.

I've picked up girls at cafes and pizza places by walking in and taking a seat at their table without even buying anything just to show you what's possible and not limit yourself.

Thanks. I've read a few, but I wanted to know if anyone had some personal experience that didn't rely on social circle. I've read many articles before deciding to ask around here.

I don't know of too many active members who do this at colleges. I could be wrong though...

I know a few placed on campus for insta-dates thanks to exploring (cafés, games, sports, a gallery, etc).

To broaden your horizon, I would add that you have an option to not go to any of these places for an instant-date. If you want to save some money since you're in college, you could literally have her walk around with you from one part of the campus to another part. Just make sure that these are nice places with places to sit and a nice scenery / ambiance.

I guess I wanted to know how to open indirectly while still being able to establish a romantic frame. Once when I opened indirect, I didn't establish a romantic frame.

Here's a couple of good articles:

• https://www.girlschase.com/content/showing-interest-and-keeping-it
• https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/complete-daygame-guide.799/

At a high level, understand that most girls aren't dumb and have a general sense of why you're talking to them out of the blue, and it's not because they think that you want to be just friends.

A combination of the below (non-exhaustive) will generate the right romantic vibe, provided that your fundamentals are in place:

• Touch (especially lingering)
• Proximity (be close to her and not stay far away, perhaps even having your bodies touch)
• Compliance (get her to follow you around places like sitting underneath a tree)
• Topics related getting to know her (don't focus on random small talk topics like the weather for too long, have the focus be on personal stuff between you and her)
• Complimenting and qualifying

Like an idiot, I didn't ask her if she had a boyfriend until AFTER I got her number.

There's no need to ask. If she has a serious boyfriend and she needs to get it off her chest, she'll find a way to let you know. Whether it's in the early stages, number ask, texting, or even later, she'll find a way to casually bring this up if it's a real issue. Trust me.

 

[Bob Z]

man.... i can surely relate to this. reputation fear was what held me back from being more aggressive with approaching at my campus which was filled with beautiful girls. you do have a great situation for this though 30k is about 3x what my college had and the commuter aspect is a big plus - you'll meet beautiful conservative girls who live with their parents (if thats your kind of thing).

one thing you could screen for is if the girl is a sorority or party type girl - these girls its best to exchange social media then run into them serendipitously at an event (perhaps one they post on their story... or maybe a true coincidence as these girls tend to be out and about - you could even host a pregame with some friends as a good pretense to hang with them and get invited to more cool stuff through them) - these girls in my experience are a lot more reluctant to go on a date with a dude from cold approach no matter how casually you frame it. they are totally immersed in their social circle.

i'd often have these type of girls ask me if i was in a frat, to which id tell them no. they'd ask why i wasn't (definitely testing me for social status) and my go to reply was always "i prefer consensual" which ALWAYS got a positive response - it really positions urself as cooler and more suave than the frat guys (and also that you're a sexual guy!) even if the girl does see them as high status. maybe this isn't a thing though if its truly a commuter school.

if the girl is one who rarely goes out, a commuter, or maybe a junior/senior who is chilled out from her party phase and you screen for that then these girls are perfect to go direct with and ask out for a casual date (tacos or a drink maybe... instadate is great) - they are usually sick of the frat/party guys or uninterested in them in general and if you can present yourself as more mature but still sexy guy you win big points.

 

[TwoNameGame]

@Bob Z,

I sure am lucky that my campus is huge and that I tend to have a good reputation that insulated me from reputation all harm. I'm actually glad I get to avoid those pitfalls more easily here.

one thing you could screen for is if the girl is a sorority or party type girl - these girls its best to exchange social media then run into them serendipitously at an event

Great advice, thanks. I mostly relied on events that were advertised, but this does seem like a great way to socialize. Come to think of it, more social girls did seem less receptive to cold approaches.

That said, I do prefer conservative girls as I'm aiming for long term relationships as opposed to flings. But I'm not adverse to a fling if it means practice.

i'd often have these type of girls ask me if i was in a frat, to which id tell them no. they'd ask why i wasn't (definitely testing me for social status) and my go to reply was always "i prefer consensual" which ALWAYS got a positive response

I haven't had anyone ask if I was I'm a frat, but I haven't been very bold anyways. I'll keep this in mind.

if the girl is one who rarely goes out, a commuter, or maybe a junior/senior who is chilled out from her party phase and you screen for that then these girls are perfect to go direct with and ask out for a casual date

Great! Thanks. I did notice this where a less social girl did seem more receptive overall. My question is how to escalate with these girls? If they rarely go out, then how much could be seen as too much for them?

 

[Bob Z]

Great! Thanks. I did notice this where a less social girl did seem more receptive overall. My question is how to escalate with these girls? If they rarely go out, then how much could be seen as too much for them?

these girls i would just do normal daygame. check logistics for insta date and if logistics r no good then seed a date idea (ask if shed want to get tacos, grab a drink, ice cream/italian ice sometime) and get her number.

 

[Pups]

When I was in my teens and twenties women who I barely knew would frequently touch me or even set their tit on my body while in conversation. In a warm type of embrace. Usually they were older than me but it slowed down in my 30’s and even more in my 40’s.

At the time I figured that’s normal and that’s just how women were going to treat me forever.

 

[TwoNameGame]

these girls i would just do normal daygame. check logistics for insta date and if logistics r no good then seed a date idea

I'll try that, thanks. I forget to check logistics, but I know a few good places on campus or within one block of campus for just about anything.

My issue is that I don't know much about normal day game when it comes to escalation. I know what to do, I just don't know how to do it competently yet. My Field Report shows that I don't know much about escalation windows or methods. Any advice for when the semester starts again?

 

[Conquistador]

man.... i can surely relate to this. reputation fear was what held me back from being more aggressive with approaching at my campus which was filled with beautiful girls. you do have a great situation for this though 30k is about 3x what my college had and the commuter aspect is a big plus - you'll meet beautiful conservative girls who live with their parents (if thats your kind of thing).

one thing you could screen for is if the girl is a sorority or party type girl - these girls its best to exchange social media then run into them serendipitously at an event (perhaps one they post on their story... or maybe a true coincidence as these girls tend to be out and about - you could even host a pregame with some friends as a good pretense to hang with them and get invited to more cool stuff through them) - these girls in my experience are a lot more reluctant to go on a date with a dude from cold approach no matter how casually you frame it. they are totally immersed in their social circle.

i'd often have these type of girls ask me if i was in a frat, to which id tell them no. they'd ask why i wasn't (definitely testing me for social status) and my go to reply was always "i prefer consensual" which ALWAYS got a positive response - it really positions urself as cooler and more suave than the frat guys (and also that you're a sexual guy!) even if the girl does see them as high status. maybe this isn't a thing though if its truly a commuter school.

if the girl is one who rarely goes out, a commuter, or maybe a junior/senior who is chilled out from her party phase and you screen for that then these girls are perfect to go direct with and ask out for a casual date (tacos or a drink maybe... instadate is great) - they are usually sick of the frat/party guys or uninterested in them in general and if you can present yourself as more mature but still sexy guy you win big points.

IME party girls at metropolitan commuter colleges usually compartmentalize their social life and hang out with crowds at big four-year campuses.

 

[Bob Z]

IME party girls at metropolitan commuter colleges usually compartmentalize their social life and hang out with crowds at big four-year campuses.

i can see that - im just going off my experience at 4 year campus