What does it mean: Guys side hugging me in venues

Skills

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@Skills @Chase @Teevster how might you handle the last guy in this video, when he tools the interviewer saying "he needs a sponsor, just look at the price of his t-shirt." I have some thoughts but am really curious your perspectives
the same way he handled everybody, ignore it.... I sat through the cringe whole video, but as i said before knowing the op was australian, that is how australians act in the clubs, that video is the exact replica, they are just annoying, loud, obnoxious, too aggressive.... But is not really amog they are just annoying like in that video, i did not see amog just dudes fucking around being annoying.... I personally ignore them...
 

POB

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The very few Aussies I met when traveling were cool, but had zero game.
They only walked in groups, and were the most loud and obnoxious, by far.
Plus I just could not understand half of what they said with that fucking accent lol.

@Teevster was on point when he said there are no guy friendships at night, and that you should avoid the filler crowd.
Back when I was going out with my 2 wings, we had a ton of social proof.
Always went to the same venue (two store place, bar below + club on top).
We knew the whole staff, the bouncers and the manager, so we never paid to get in, and were always getting freebies and a good vibe from them. The amount of leechers that came to us was insane!
 

Teevster

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the same way he handled everybody, ignore it.... I sat through the cringe whole video, but as i said before knowing the op was australian, that is how australians act in the clubs, that video is the exact replica, they are just annoying, loud, obnoxious, too aggressive.... But is not really amog they are just annoying like in that video, i did not see amog just dudes fucking around being annoying.... I personally ignore them...

I watched the vid and i must say it was the biggest amog fest i have seen in a while. This IS amoging. Being obnoxious and annoying IS an amoggy behaviour - although not the most efficient one.

Whoever still believe such behaviour is friendly "value giving" behaviour at that point is a social idiot.

I am out of this thread. Too much askhole behaviour here.

-Teevster
 
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Skills

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I watched the vid and i must say it was the biggest amog fest i have seen in a while. This IS amoging. Being obnoxious and annoying IS an amoggy behaviour - although not the most efficient one.

Whoever still believe such behaviour is friendly "value giving" behaviour at that point is a social idiot.

I am out of this thread. Too much askhole behaviour here.

-Teevster
Cyber amog! So i just cont. Like nothing happened aka ignore. I guess people have different styles of dealing with people...anyways i encounter australians and people like that onceevery few years no worth my time nor do i lose women to them, women get turn off by that behavior anyways...
 

Teevster

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Cyber amog! So i just cont. Like nothing happened aka ignore. I guess people have different styles of dealing with people...anyways i encounter australians and people like that onceevery few years no worth my time nor do i lose women to them, women get turn off by that behavior anyways...

Clearly, I face such behaviour more than you (for whatever reason).

The thing is, you are actually handling it properly - as you said earlier: you ignore them. That is one of the best responses and it works (most of the time - but sometimes they just stick around and you need to take out the big guns). "Ignoring" is an AMOG-reponse - in fact it is the go-to response. Nobody is disagreeing with this (I like to give them a "thumbs up" and walk away or ignore)

But thinking, or acting as if this behaviour is value giving (which you don't - the message wasn't destined to you - it was a general statement to whoever still after 4 pages of discussion still don't "gets it") and not "reacting" (that is: ignore, or have some smart response) can actually screw you over. This is whether or not the girl like or don't like such behaviour (as I said "it is AMOGING behaviour - although not the most efficient one) as sometimes the AMOG doesn't care about getting the girl as long as he can screw you over.

Edit: sometimes the AMOG doesn't know that his behaviour is unattractive to women. We can't assume they are MPUAs lol.

-Teevster
 
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Skills

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Clearly, I face such behaviour more than you (for whatever reason).

The thing is, you are actually handling it properly - as you said earlier: you ignore them. That is one of the best responses and it works (most of the time - but sometimes they just stick around and you need to take out the big guns). "Ignoring" is an AMOG-reponse - in fact it is the go-to response. Nobody is disagreeing with this (I like to give them a "thumbs up" and walk away or ignore)

But thinking, or acting as if this behaviour is value giving (which you don't - the message wasn't destined to you - it was a general statement to whoever still after 4 pages of discussion still don't "gets it") and not "reacting" (that is: ignore, or have some smart response) can actually screw you over. This is whether or not the girl like or don't like such behaviour (as I said "it is AMOGING behaviour - although not the most efficient one) as sometimes the AMOG doesn't care about getting the girl as long as he can screw you over.

Edit: sometimes the AMOG doesn't know that his behaviour is unattractive to women. We can't assume they are MPUAs lol.

-Teevster
Teevester i do agree with a lot of your points, but again there are some Machiavellian projections and i want to nitpick just for the point of learning, we all have blinds spots including me:

- Some guys from some countries come with cultural annoyances from the get go, the usa drunk frat boys (some highschoolers too i had issues like this with wrestlers in high school), again before me knowing op was australian, for some reason the ones i met from the most part behave like that....

- then we have that "the dude does not care about you getting the girl, they just want to screw you over".... There is an inherit assumption that you have the girl and you are seducing the girl. This is flawed, they act like this even if you have no girls...And even if you have girls the "they just want to screw you over" i don't know about this...

- also the no guys are your friends at the club, no all guys have agendas like this.... I met amazing friends at the clubs...

Also people think i am big and muscular, but i also get shit, cause i am super goofy... The op is muscular and 6 something

there are 3 types of dudes:

- fun vibe party dudes (i am like this i go to groups of guys and women and i don't go there to amog anyone but to bring good vibes), i am sure there are other dudes like me.

- the amog asshole types.- In my experience this is very unusual but yeah you have those, but is super rare now a days in my neck of the woods.

- the leach/opportunist.- this is what i encounter over and over and over... But even those is not that bad, at times i let them have the girl cause they get all exited and overreach and she is back to me or i tool them diplomatically:


Some strangers from south Africa come and open us trying to take her from me…

Me: this is my wife she left me for a black dude name Tyrone cause I have 2 inches now she is back and I am so happy…
Strangers: weird look on the face…
Me: she is intro 3 somes, 4 somes and bukakke (bukakke is a fetish were women have multiple strangers cumming in her face)

Now cockblocks neutralized: “nah we are not into that”

 

Teevster

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Teevester i do agree with a lot of your points, but again there are some Machiavellian projections and i want to nitpick just for the point of learning, we all have blinds spots including me:

Won't take it personally if this is intended to imply I am Machiavellian, as I score very high on Machiavellianism. That said, Machiavellians are rarely wrong though despite their views sometimes being overly cynical (which can be a bit... annoying) but it does not those views are wrong.

- Some guys from some countries come with cultural annoyances from the get go, the usa drunk frat boys (some highschoolers too i had issues like this with wrestlers in high school), again before me knowing op was australian, for some reason the ones i met from the most part behave like that....

Nothing to add here - pretty correct. Some cultures are more "AMOGY" than others.

- then we have that "the dude does not care about you getting the girl, they just want to screw you over".... There is an inherit assumption that you have the girl and you are seducing the girl. This is flawed, they act like this even if you have no girls...And even if you have girls the "they just want to screw you over" i don't know about this...

In a setting where mating or social status is on the agenda (both extremely prevalent in clubs), guys will always try to find ways to screw you over - either because they want your girl, or because they want you to fail so they can feel better about themselves. This goes even for guys who act friendly and brotherly like. How many times have I not met dudes who act all nice, only for me to lower my guard and have the guy use the first opportunity he gets to try to snatch my girl.

This even happens in cases where I for example invite some so-called cool dude for a threesome (I used to play the good old "give me a threesome with 2 girls, and I am ok with a threesome with 2 guys" kind of play), which means he is invited to tag along to fuck MY FB. Nice of me right? Well in the two last encounters, both tried to get my girl to leave with them (from my place) after they fuck them (they always fail since my girls are loyal). In both cases, the guys took both my and my girl's number (this is done by choice because it is for security reasons - guys behave better when they know we can trace them) and in all cases, the guys got all clingy on my girls. My girls, loyal as they are, tell me about it. But I care little, but what I find funny is how the guy whenever they meet me, act all "bro-like" and want to hang out (to get access to clubs and stuff). I ignore them of course - and block them.

I am using this as an example to illustrate how far it can go. I know this is anectotal, but I still haven't met any guys who genuinely wanted to be nice in a club without having at least some ulterior motives (could be malicious or just neutral - but those motives are always instrumental).

I also, from a logical point of view fail to see why any guys would do anything differently. I do not see why he shouldn't have ulterior instrumental motives. It is all instrumental, because it makes sense.

So this, in addition to my experience, as well as those extreme anecdotal cases has led me to believe that one truly has no friends in field.

Unless someone is an actual friend - as in a true friend, I trust no men. I have no reasons to do so. It is all fake. It is all a game. It is all a competition.

- also the no guys are your friends at the club, no all guys have agendas like this.... I met amazing friends at the clubs...

They all have agendas and instrumental ulterior motives. This does not mean those are necessarily malicious and evil. It can be as "innocent" as seeing you as a cool dude who can be beneficial to know in field.

The relationship is instrumental, and honestly totally "fine" if mutual.

And of course, from there one could totally grow from an "instrumental" relationship into true friendship. This is in line the good old theories regarding friendship from the antique greek philosophers.

A leach in field is ok, if you can leach back from him. A mutually beneficial relationship (on an instrumental level) is totally fine by me and I see no evil in it. But he will remain loyal only if it benefits him (unless he is to become a true friend).

I am giving some context behind my theory but I am still fully convinced that one, in field, has no true friends.

Edit: It is a bit of a different context if the person you are with in field is one you are going out with - things are a bit different in this context. I am here talking about guy you meet in field! People you bring to the field of also know outside of the field is an entirely different discussion.

(I have like 5 straight male friends in total when I come to think of it - and in Paris I have none!)

Also people think i am big and muscular, but i also get shit, cause i am super goofy... The op is muscular and 6 something

Agreed that this is prone to happen.

- fun vibe party dudes (i am like this i go to groups of guys and women and i don't go there to amog anyone but to bring good vibes), i am sure there are other dudes like me.

You may consciously believe you bring good vibes, but really you just do it to state yourself up, or to not look lonely when not in set. That's what i would do.

But yeah maybe there are exceptions. Exceptions do not make the rules.

- the amog asshole types.- In my experience this is very unusual but yeah you have those, but is super rare now a days in my neck of the woods.

- the leach/opportunist.- this is what i encounter over and over and over... But even those is not that bad, at times i let them have the girl cause they get all exited and overreach and she is back to me or i tool them diplomatically:

Well no disagreement here.

-Teevster
 
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Teevster

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Won't take it personally if this is intended to imply I am Machiavellian, as I score very high on Machiavellianism. That said, Machiavellians are rarely wrong though despite their views sometimes being overly cynical (which can be a bit... annoying) but it does not those views are wrong.



Nothing to add here - pretty correct. Some cultures are more "AMOGY" than others.



In a setting where mating or social status is on the agenda (both extremely prevalent in clubs), guys will always try to find ways to screw you over - either because they want your girl, or because they want you to fail so they can feel better about themselves. This goes even for guys who act friendly and brotherly like. How many times have I not met dudes who act all nice, only for me to lower my guard and have the guy use the first opportunity he gets to try to snatch my girl.

This even happens in cases where I for example invite some so-called cool dude for a threesome (I used to play the good old "give me a threesome with 2 girls, and I am ok with a threesome with 2 guys" kind of play), which means he is invited to tag along to fuck MY FB. Nice of me right? Well in the two last encounters, both tried to get my girl to leave with them (from my place) after they fuck them (they always fail since my girls are loyal). In both cases, the guys took both my and my girl's number (this is done by choice because it is for security reasons - guys behave better when they know we can trace them) and in all cases, the guys got all clingy on my girls. My girls, loyal as they are, tell me about it. But I care little, but what I find funny is how the guy whenever they meet me, act all "bro-like" and want to hang out (to get access to clubs and stuff). I ignore them of course - and block them.

I am using this as an example to illustrate how far it can go. I know this is anectotal, but I still haven't met any guys who genuinely wanted to be nice in a club without having at least some ulterior motives (could be malicious or just neutral - but those motives are always instrumental).

I also, from a logical point of view fail to see why any guys would do anything differently. I do not see why he shouldn't have ulterior instrumental motives. It is all instrumental, because it makes sense.

So this, in addition to my experience, as well as those extreme anecdotal cases has led me to believe that one truly has no friends in field.

Unless someone is an actual friend - as in a true friend, I trust no men. I have no reasons to do so. It is all fake. It is all a game. It is all a competition.



They all have agendas and instrumental ulterior motives. This does not mean those are necessarily malicious and evil. It can be as "innocent" as seeing you as a cool dude who can be beneficial to know in field.

The relationship is instrumental, and honestly totally "fine" if mutual.

And of course, from there one could totally grow from an "instrumental" relationship into true friendship. This is in line the good old theories regarding friendship from the antique greek philosophers.

A leach in field is ok, if you can leach back from him. A mutually beneficial relationship (on an instrumental level) is totally fine by me and I see no evil in it. But he will remain loyal only if it benefits him (unless he is to become a true friend).

I am giving some context behind my theory but I am still fully convinced that one, in field, has no true friends.

Edit: It is a bit of a different context if the person you are with in field is one you are going out with - things are a bit different in this context. I am here talking about guy you meet in field! People you bring to the field of also know outside of the field is an entirely different discussion.

(I have like 5 straight male friends in total when I come to think of it - and in Paris I have none!)



Agreed that this is prone to happen.



You may consciously believe you bring good vibes, but really you just do it to state yourself up, or to not look lonely when not in set. That's what i would do.

But yeah maybe there are exceptions. Exceptions do not make the rules.



Well no disagreement here.

-Teevster

Last night i was in a set and this dude came up wanting to show us magic tricks (rofl). To some this may have looked like just a cool dude coming up and spread good vibes (i personally like magic). But he was an amog. A true amog.

How do I know? Well when I told him I was busy he kept insisting that I pick "a number" and he kept persisting when I told him he could do his magic elsewhere (pointing at an another group of dudes). Eventually I had to amog-desttoy back and tell the guy "sorry I didn't any bring coins with me as I didn't expect meeting beggars inside clubs" and the guy left.

Again guys do not be fooled.

-Teevster
 

Kaida

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^This!!!
If you are physically imposing or menacing, at least more than the other dude, he will try to diminish your presence using subtle frame grabbing techniques, not blatant amog.
Usually dudes come to me and say something along the lines of me being juiced, or try to paint me as a dumb gym bro.
So they come from a place of inferiority, which is very easy to shut down.

I’m pretty muscular as well and I face this quite often. But I’m not as good yet at destroying bad frames like that as of now, so they tend to stick

Do you mind saying how you shut attempts like this down?
 

Teevster

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I’m pretty muscular as well and I face this quite often. But I’m not as good yet at destroying bad frames like that as of now, so they tend to stick

Do you mind saying how you shut attempts like this down?

Stare at time, smile, pat them on their shoulder and tell them "good boy".

(I do that when someone tries to tool me when I wear flashy clothes)

-Teevster
 

DarkKnight

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It is not about just being physically imposing. It is also about your vibe.. your non verbals give away a lot about how deterrent you can be. That being said, there are always clueless men and I think the leech kind of guys are usually among these. Reason they are leech is part due to being clueless.

Yesterday a guy tried to stare me down I have seen him for quite some time now and he is definitely the type of guy who scares off people based on his vibe but I dont suspect he is a threat, just used to come across threatening and pulling it off. He seems to feel some kind of king of the hill competition with me, which I do not really care about 🤷🏻‍♂️. But that behavior evolved based on some reward in the past.
 
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