What does it mean: Guys side hugging me in venues

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,136
Location
South Florida
@Skills @Chase @Teevster how might you handle the last guy in this video, when he tools the interviewer saying "he needs a sponsor, just look at the price of his t-shirt." I have some thoughts but am really curious your perspectives
the same way he handled everybody, ignore it.... I sat through the cringe whole video, but as i said before knowing the op was australian, that is how australians act in the clubs, that video is the exact replica, they are just annoying, loud, obnoxious, too aggressive.... But is not really amog they are just annoying like in that video, i did not see amog just dudes fucking around being annoying.... I personally ignore them...
 

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
961
Location
South America
The very few Aussies I met when traveling were cool, but had zero game.
They only walked in groups, and were the most loud and obnoxious, by far.
Plus I just could not understand half of what they said with that fucking accent lol.

@Teevster was on point when he said there are no guy friendships at night, and that you should avoid the filler crowd.
Back when I was going out with my 2 wings, we had a ton of social proof.
Always went to the same venue (two store place, bar below + club on top).
We knew the whole staff, the bouncers and the manager, so we never paid to get in, and were always getting freebies and a good vibe from them. The amount of leechers that came to us was insane!
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,708
Location
Scandinavia - For Now
the same way he handled everybody, ignore it.... I sat through the cringe whole video, but as i said before knowing the op was australian, that is how australians act in the clubs, that video is the exact replica, they are just annoying, loud, obnoxious, too aggressive.... But is not really amog they are just annoying like in that video, i did not see amog just dudes fucking around being annoying.... I personally ignore them...

I watched the vid and i must say it was the biggest amog fest i have seen in a while. This IS amoging. Being obnoxious and annoying IS an amoggy behaviour - although not the most efficient one.

Whoever still believe such behaviour is friendly "value giving" behaviour at that point is a social idiot.

I am out of this thread. Too much askhole behaviour here.

-Teevster
 
Last edited:

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,136
Location
South Florida
I watched the vid and i must say it was the biggest amog fest i have seen in a while. This IS amoging. Being obnoxious and annoying IS an amoggy behaviour - although not the most efficient one.

Whoever still believe such behaviour is friendly "value giving" behaviour at that point is a social idiot.

I am out of this thread. Too much askhole behaviour here.

-Teevster
Cyber amog! So i just cont. Like nothing happened aka ignore. I guess people have different styles of dealing with people...anyways i encounter australians and people like that onceevery few years no worth my time nor do i lose women to them, women get turn off by that behavior anyways...
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,708
Location
Scandinavia - For Now
Cyber amog! So i just cont. Like nothing happened aka ignore. I guess people have different styles of dealing with people...anyways i encounter australians and people like that onceevery few years no worth my time nor do i lose women to them, women get turn off by that behavior anyways...

Clearly, I face such behaviour more than you (for whatever reason).

The thing is, you are actually handling it properly - as you said earlier: you ignore them. That is one of the best responses and it works (most of the time - but sometimes they just stick around and you need to take out the big guns). "Ignoring" is an AMOG-reponse - in fact it is the go-to response. Nobody is disagreeing with this (I like to give them a "thumbs up" and walk away or ignore)

But thinking, or acting as if this behaviour is value giving (which you don't - the message wasn't destined to you - it was a general statement to whoever still after 4 pages of discussion still don't "gets it") and not "reacting" (that is: ignore, or have some smart response) can actually screw you over. This is whether or not the girl like or don't like such behaviour (as I said "it is AMOGING behaviour - although not the most efficient one) as sometimes the AMOG doesn't care about getting the girl as long as he can screw you over.

Edit: sometimes the AMOG doesn't know that his behaviour is unattractive to women. We can't assume they are MPUAs lol.

-Teevster
 
Last edited:

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,136
Location
South Florida
Clearly, I face such behaviour more than you (for whatever reason).

The thing is, you are actually handling it properly - as you said earlier: you ignore them. That is one of the best responses and it works (most of the time - but sometimes they just stick around and you need to take out the big guns). "Ignoring" is an AMOG-reponse - in fact it is the go-to response. Nobody is disagreeing with this (I like to give them a "thumbs up" and walk away or ignore)

But thinking, or acting as if this behaviour is value giving (which you don't - the message wasn't destined to you - it was a general statement to whoever still after 4 pages of discussion still don't "gets it") and not "reacting" (that is: ignore, or have some smart response) can actually screw you over. This is whether or not the girl like or don't like such behaviour (as I said "it is AMOGING behaviour - although not the most efficient one) as sometimes the AMOG doesn't care about getting the girl as long as he can screw you over.

Edit: sometimes the AMOG doesn't know that his behaviour is unattractive to women. We can't assume they are MPUAs lol.

-Teevster
Teevester i do agree with a lot of your points, but again there are some Machiavellian projections and i want to nitpick just for the point of learning, we all have blinds spots including me:

- Some guys from some countries come with cultural annoyances from the get go, the usa drunk frat boys (some highschoolers too i had issues like this with wrestlers in high school), again before me knowing op was australian, for some reason the ones i met from the most part behave like that....

- then we have that "the dude does not care about you getting the girl, they just want to screw you over".... There is an inherit assumption that you have the girl and you are seducing the girl. This is flawed, they act like this even if you have no girls...And even if you have girls the "they just want to screw you over" i don't know about this...

- also the no guys are your friends at the club, no all guys have agendas like this.... I met amazing friends at the clubs...

Also people think i am big and muscular, but i also get shit, cause i am super goofy... The op is muscular and 6 something

there are 3 types of dudes:

- fun vibe party dudes (i am like this i go to groups of guys and women and i don't go there to amog anyone but to bring good vibes), i am sure there are other dudes like me.

- the amog asshole types.- In my experience this is very unusual but yeah you have those, but is super rare now a days in my neck of the woods.

- the leach/opportunist.- this is what i encounter over and over and over... But even those is not that bad, at times i let them have the girl cause they get all exited and overreach and she is back to me or i tool them diplomatically:


Some strangers from south Africa come and open us trying to take her from me…

Me: this is my wife she left me for a black dude name Tyrone cause I have 2 inches now she is back and I am so happy…
Strangers: weird look on the face…
Me: she is intro 3 somes, 4 somes and bukakke (bukakke is a fetish were women have multiple strangers cumming in her face)

Now cockblocks neutralized: “nah we are not into that”

 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,708
Location
Scandinavia - For Now
Teevester i do agree with a lot of your points, but again there are some Machiavellian projections and i want to nitpick just for the point of learning, we all have blinds spots including me:

Won't take it personally if this is intended to imply I am Machiavellian, as I score very high on Machiavellianism. That said, Machiavellians are rarely wrong though despite their views sometimes being overly cynical (which can be a bit... annoying) but it does not those views are wrong.

- Some guys from some countries come with cultural annoyances from the get go, the usa drunk frat boys (some highschoolers too i had issues like this with wrestlers in high school), again before me knowing op was australian, for some reason the ones i met from the most part behave like that....

Nothing to add here - pretty correct. Some cultures are more "AMOGY" than others.

- then we have that "the dude does not care about you getting the girl, they just want to screw you over".... There is an inherit assumption that you have the girl and you are seducing the girl. This is flawed, they act like this even if you have no girls...And even if you have girls the "they just want to screw you over" i don't know about this...

In a setting where mating or social status is on the agenda (both extremely prevalent in clubs), guys will always try to find ways to screw you over - either because they want your girl, or because they want you to fail so they can feel better about themselves. This goes even for guys who act friendly and brotherly like. How many times have I not met dudes who act all nice, only for me to lower my guard and have the guy use the first opportunity he gets to try to snatch my girl.

This even happens in cases where I for example invite some so-called cool dude for a threesome (I used to play the good old "give me a threesome with 2 girls, and I am ok with a threesome with 2 guys" kind of play), which means he is invited to tag along to fuck MY FB. Nice of me right? Well in the two last encounters, both tried to get my girl to leave with them (from my place) after they fuck them (they always fail since my girls are loyal). In both cases, the guys took both my and my girl's number (this is done by choice because it is for security reasons - guys behave better when they know we can trace them) and in all cases, the guys got all clingy on my girls. My girls, loyal as they are, tell me about it. But I care little, but what I find funny is how the guy whenever they meet me, act all "bro-like" and want to hang out (to get access to clubs and stuff). I ignore them of course - and block them.

I am using this as an example to illustrate how far it can go. I know this is anectotal, but I still haven't met any guys who genuinely wanted to be nice in a club without having at least some ulterior motives (could be malicious or just neutral - but those motives are always instrumental).

I also, from a logical point of view fail to see why any guys would do anything differently. I do not see why he shouldn't have ulterior instrumental motives. It is all instrumental, because it makes sense.

So this, in addition to my experience, as well as those extreme anecdotal cases has led me to believe that one truly has no friends in field.

Unless someone is an actual friend - as in a true friend, I trust no men. I have no reasons to do so. It is all fake. It is all a game. It is all a competition.

- also the no guys are your friends at the club, no all guys have agendas like this.... I met amazing friends at the clubs...

They all have agendas and instrumental ulterior motives. This does not mean those are necessarily malicious and evil. It can be as "innocent" as seeing you as a cool dude who can be beneficial to know in field.

The relationship is instrumental, and honestly totally "fine" if mutual.

And of course, from there one could totally grow from an "instrumental" relationship into true friendship. This is in line the good old theories regarding friendship from the antique greek philosophers.

A leach in field is ok, if you can leach back from him. A mutually beneficial relationship (on an instrumental level) is totally fine by me and I see no evil in it. But he will remain loyal only if it benefits him (unless he is to become a true friend).

I am giving some context behind my theory but I am still fully convinced that one, in field, has no true friends.

Edit: It is a bit of a different context if the person you are with in field is one you are going out with - things are a bit different in this context. I am here talking about guy you meet in field! People you bring to the field of also know outside of the field is an entirely different discussion.

(I have like 5 straight male friends in total when I come to think of it - and in Paris I have none!)

Also people think i am big and muscular, but i also get shit, cause i am super goofy... The op is muscular and 6 something

Agreed that this is prone to happen.

- fun vibe party dudes (i am like this i go to groups of guys and women and i don't go there to amog anyone but to bring good vibes), i am sure there are other dudes like me.

You may consciously believe you bring good vibes, but really you just do it to state yourself up, or to not look lonely when not in set. That's what i would do.

But yeah maybe there are exceptions. Exceptions do not make the rules.

- the amog asshole types.- In my experience this is very unusual but yeah you have those, but is super rare now a days in my neck of the woods.

- the leach/opportunist.- this is what i encounter over and over and over... But even those is not that bad, at times i let them have the girl cause they get all exited and overreach and she is back to me or i tool them diplomatically:

Well no disagreement here.

-Teevster
 
Last edited:

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,708
Location
Scandinavia - For Now
Won't take it personally if this is intended to imply I am Machiavellian, as I score very high on Machiavellianism. That said, Machiavellians are rarely wrong though despite their views sometimes being overly cynical (which can be a bit... annoying) but it does not those views are wrong.



Nothing to add here - pretty correct. Some cultures are more "AMOGY" than others.



In a setting where mating or social status is on the agenda (both extremely prevalent in clubs), guys will always try to find ways to screw you over - either because they want your girl, or because they want you to fail so they can feel better about themselves. This goes even for guys who act friendly and brotherly like. How many times have I not met dudes who act all nice, only for me to lower my guard and have the guy use the first opportunity he gets to try to snatch my girl.

This even happens in cases where I for example invite some so-called cool dude for a threesome (I used to play the good old "give me a threesome with 2 girls, and I am ok with a threesome with 2 guys" kind of play), which means he is invited to tag along to fuck MY FB. Nice of me right? Well in the two last encounters, both tried to get my girl to leave with them (from my place) after they fuck them (they always fail since my girls are loyal). In both cases, the guys took both my and my girl's number (this is done by choice because it is for security reasons - guys behave better when they know we can trace them) and in all cases, the guys got all clingy on my girls. My girls, loyal as they are, tell me about it. But I care little, but what I find funny is how the guy whenever they meet me, act all "bro-like" and want to hang out (to get access to clubs and stuff). I ignore them of course - and block them.

I am using this as an example to illustrate how far it can go. I know this is anectotal, but I still haven't met any guys who genuinely wanted to be nice in a club without having at least some ulterior motives (could be malicious or just neutral - but those motives are always instrumental).

I also, from a logical point of view fail to see why any guys would do anything differently. I do not see why he shouldn't have ulterior instrumental motives. It is all instrumental, because it makes sense.

So this, in addition to my experience, as well as those extreme anecdotal cases has led me to believe that one truly has no friends in field.

Unless someone is an actual friend - as in a true friend, I trust no men. I have no reasons to do so. It is all fake. It is all a game. It is all a competition.



They all have agendas and instrumental ulterior motives. This does not mean those are necessarily malicious and evil. It can be as "innocent" as seeing you as a cool dude who can be beneficial to know in field.

The relationship is instrumental, and honestly totally "fine" if mutual.

And of course, from there one could totally grow from an "instrumental" relationship into true friendship. This is in line the good old theories regarding friendship from the antique greek philosophers.

A leach in field is ok, if you can leach back from him. A mutually beneficial relationship (on an instrumental level) is totally fine by me and I see no evil in it. But he will remain loyal only if it benefits him (unless he is to become a true friend).

I am giving some context behind my theory but I am still fully convinced that one, in field, has no true friends.

Edit: It is a bit of a different context if the person you are with in field is one you are going out with - things are a bit different in this context. I am here talking about guy you meet in field! People you bring to the field of also know outside of the field is an entirely different discussion.

(I have like 5 straight male friends in total when I come to think of it - and in Paris I have none!)



Agreed that this is prone to happen.



You may consciously believe you bring good vibes, but really you just do it to state yourself up, or to not look lonely when not in set. That's what i would do.

But yeah maybe there are exceptions. Exceptions do not make the rules.



Well no disagreement here.

-Teevster

Last night i was in a set and this dude came up wanting to show us magic tricks (rofl). To some this may have looked like just a cool dude coming up and spread good vibes (i personally like magic). But he was an amog. A true amog.

How do I know? Well when I told him I was busy he kept insisting that I pick "a number" and he kept persisting when I told him he could do his magic elsewhere (pointing at an another group of dudes). Eventually I had to amog-desttoy back and tell the guy "sorry I didn't any bring coins with me as I didn't expect meeting beggars inside clubs" and the guy left.

Again guys do not be fooled.

-Teevster
 

Kaida

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
522
^This!!!
If you are physically imposing or menacing, at least more than the other dude, he will try to diminish your presence using subtle frame grabbing techniques, not blatant amog.
Usually dudes come to me and say something along the lines of me being juiced, or try to paint me as a dumb gym bro.
So they come from a place of inferiority, which is very easy to shut down.

I’m pretty muscular as well and I face this quite often. But I’m not as good yet at destroying bad frames like that as of now, so they tend to stick

Do you mind saying how you shut attempts like this down?
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,708
Location
Scandinavia - For Now
I’m pretty muscular as well and I face this quite often. But I’m not as good yet at destroying bad frames like that as of now, so they tend to stick

Do you mind saying how you shut attempts like this down?

Stare at time, smile, pat them on their shoulder and tell them "good boy".

(I do that when someone tries to tool me when I wear flashy clothes)

-Teevster
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,569
It is not about just being physically imposing. It is also about your vibe.. your non verbals give away a lot about how deterrent you can be. That being said, there are always clueless men and I think the leech kind of guys are usually among these. Reason they are leech is part due to being clueless.

Yesterday a guy tried to stare me down I have seen him for quite some time now and he is definitely the type of guy who scares off people based on his vibe but I dont suspect he is a threat, just used to come across threatening and pulling it off. He seems to feel some kind of king of the hill competition with me, which I do not really care about 🤷🏻‍♂️. But that behavior evolved based on some reward in the past.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,136
Location
South Florida
It is not about just being physically imposing. It is also about your vibe.. your non verbals give away a lot about how deterrent you can be. That being said, there are always clueless men and I think the leech kind of guys are usually among these. Reason they are leech is part due to being clueless.

Yesterday a guy tried to stare me down I have seen him for quite some time now and he is definitely the type of guy who scares off people based on his vibe but I dont suspect he is a threat, just used to come across threatening and pulling it off. He seems to feel some kind of king of the hill competition with me, which I do not really care about 🤷🏻‍♂️. But that behavior evolved based on some reward in the past.
Exellent point also this type of attitude of no thinking everyone is an adversarial amog will help you in the seduction, most guys i know assume a dude and a girl together are a couple and scare of confrontation... i sound like a broken record and tell some of my wings because there is a dude there does not mean they are together... i also befriend dude before seducing girl...
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,708
Location
Scandinavia - For Now
Exellent point also this type of attitude of no thinking everyone is an adversarial amog will help you in the seduction, most guys i know assume a dude and a girl together are a couple and scare of confrontation... i sound like a broken record and tell some of my wings because there is a dude there does not mean they are together... i also befriend dude before seducing girl...

Up until they hammer in a few drinks and the night is getting late and they want a mate.

-Teevster
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,136
Location
South Florida
Up until they hammer in a few drinks and the night is getting late and they want a mate.

-Teevster
What if is the brother, or cousin, or gay friend, or a pasive ,zoomer...seriously paranoia central....

 

Spyce D

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
575
Not trying to derail the thread ....but found a good ( funny )example of amog in old school anime . Lol


 

James Cruse

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 5, 2020
Messages
85
It is not about just being physically imposing. It is also about your vibe.. your non verbals give away a lot about how deterrent you can be. That being said, there are always clueless men and I think the leech kind of guys are usually among these. Reason they are leech is part due to being clueless

I think this may be the missing piece here - some men don’t know (consciously) that they’re trying to amog you, they’re just always in a game of “status one-upmanship” in any social environment, whether those men are aware of it or not.

I think men can “feel” threatened by you, act on it unconsciously and not know why they are motivated to do it, on a logical level.

I just find it hard to believe all of these guys attempting to one-up other people in social situations are doing so out of deliberate malice rather than just an in-built reaction to someone in your presence clearly having higher social value that they want to challenge.

Like my previous example about coming to a venue late and not getting alot of social traction and for some reason, I gravitated to the guys at the centre of attention at the club to leach from those guys - I didn’t really consciously think about it at the time.

I certainly didn’t try to tool them or amog them, directly or indirectly. I think I was trying to leach their value, without malice, and I was doing that on an unconscious level at the time. Upon reflecting on it, it was just an automatic reaction I had.

I know I have gone into venues and (unconsciously) immediately found the guy was who was getting the most attention in a venue and indirectly challenged them.
That works very well too - as long as you can handle whatever happens after that guys backs down (again, indirectly - nothing physical happens).

I just did this yesterday - I saw a very good looking guy (latin american) with a group of latin women and an asian girl. They knew each other from their school.
I saw them sitting near me and this guy was a player and he was leaning back and jealousy plotlining these 5 girls one after the other, he’d done this before.

But I walked over and indirectly challenged this guy when I started talking to him and these girls. He didn’t really know what to do other than to listen because his English was terrible.

He then speaking to them in Spanish but the asian girl didn’t understand and I know spanish a little so just told them I know a little Spanish, so he didn’t really have anything to say. He tried to get them to leave but they ignored him and we all kept talking.

The point is, me coming over and essentially challenging him and him not being able to stop it - what those girls thought of him just transferred to me.

This same thing can be done in a club, where you talk to a group and subtley amog the guys - women then see you as more valuable than guys they already know and trust - a great way to get very powerful social proof without talking much to the girls in the group.
 

DarkKnight

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
1,569
But I walked over and indirectly challenged this guy when I started talking to him and these girls. He didn’t really know what to do other than to listen because his English was terrible.
This is why you don't break circle :D

Sometimes when I see a guy come up I pre-empt it with fast intimidation. I was talking to a chick some time ago and this guy comes in with his friend, big strong looking guys, but I see that wide eyed panic on his face of scarcity, he doesnt like me talking tothe girl so he wants to DO something and I immediately gave him an eye as in "FUCK OFF". He got the message though lol.

But you need to be aware of this, we are not always on and can be blindsided.

This same thing can be done in a club, where you talk to a group and subtley amog the guys - women then see you as more valuable than guys they already know and trust - a great way to get very powerful social proof without talking much to the girls in the group.
Temporary yes, women are terrible with judgement can break to social pressure from others and make dumb choices. I recall there was this chick who was very into me (my interest was lukewarm). And this very big muscular meathead (this is a long time ago) came in and tried to amog me and problem is she kept talking with him and giving him room as he was going the authority road, at one point he made the mistake of touching me and I snapped grabbed him and was ready to kick his ass what he sensed so he got scared and left. Ofcourse me being me was LIVID at the girl for giving the man the space to fuck up. She didn't do it maliciously she just tried to be socially conscientious because she was very very very hot for me. Anyway by some wonder I calmed down and it progressed to a lay. But what I am trying to say is this girl was hot for me the moment she saw me and it was deep and primal, for her definitely I was a 1st choice man, but she risked fucking it up. This doesnt even say the second guy would have gotten her. He is a chump I made it a sport of intimidating him each time I saw him after that occurence. Prick. But girls can make really really dumb choices in the moment and you need to keep the reins, that is what I have learned after all.

This is actually why I like bitchy women. Bitchy women are stronger with shutting people down or exclude unwanted people. But soft types, not sure if I would want to give them too much agency. Hell, I do know, I do not like to give them agency :D. These types are even a bit aware of their behavior by avoiding responsibility. I was talking to a soft type girl about another girl who I had cut off due to a mistake she made and the soft girl immediately protected her with "yeah but arent you punishing her for something which is not her fault?" Basically it was a moment where the girl chose the wrong (even lower status person but for some reason she perceived him higher status in the moment, I think it was because she wanted to use the opportunity to ladder climb as well so it was convenient). Anyway I had cut off the girl after her disloyalty and the so manyth mistake she made and I had put her in place to and she panicked and tried to repair for weeks but I kicked her out. She had zero value to me.

But the soft feminine girl when I recounted it to her was protecting her like "it was not her fault, it was because of the interjector". And I immediately sensed that basically SHE was in the same situation before but tried to avoid agency. She was projecting herself on the story I was telling. People can really telegraph the weirdest shift if you know how to listen

Long story short... with soft types take the reins especially when an amog comes in. This is a lesson well learned for me.
 
Last edited:

James Cruse

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 5, 2020
Messages
85
Long story short... with soft types take the reins especially when an amog comes in. This is a lesson well learned for me.

I think this is why alot of women are soft - they fear being rejected + they have plausible deniability when other men want to talk to them - so women can surruptitiously survey potential new men they may want to upgrade to from their current boyfriend/husband/whoever man in their life.
 
Top
>