I received this plenty when I was a newbie seducer going out heavily peacocked. You get opens and comments from women sometimes, but it is the men who really go crazy for you. When I wore hats I would always have dudes coming up trying to borrow my hats. "Can't, man, it's glued to my head," or, "Sorry man, I'm really scared of lice," were my go-to responses for these. And yeah, the guy would get this total crestfallen look, then start treating you like some higher status dude, asking you questions, kissing up to you, inviting you to his table, etc., if he didn't just leave.
Yeah the "try your hat" is a clear AMOG. Same with "can I try your jacket" or "try that prop". You never EVER let them try. I noticed also that in the super high end clubs, the top crowd - usually male models, influencers and so on, who wear fancy stuff and tons of props will ALWAYS ignore you when you comment their outfit. Secondly, they will NEVER EVER let you try their stuff.
Same goes with "high value" gay guys - and gay guys for some reason are master frame-controllers. Not sure if they are conscious about it, but at least on some unconscious level, they know that people will try to AMOG them and outframe them. Gay guys will NEVER let you try their cothes or Props. They will give you some sassy response like "you too poor to buy your own stuff honey?".
Later I'd be sitting with some girl with my hat on her head... sometimes a dude I'd rejected to let try on my hat earlier would come by. They'd never bring it up though (that I wouldn't let them wear it but was fine putting it on girls' heads). I just concluded they were so thoroughly put in their place at that point they didn't want to try challenging me again.
They never bring it up because they KNOW you will toast them again. They know very well it was NEVER about them trying your hat... so basically, the "trying the hat" is a pretext, not the actual subject at hand. This is why they don't bring the subject back up again EVER. Because the true "subject" is the underlying frame, which is "I want to tool this guy, but he is hard/impossible to tool, and by failing to do so, he is tooling me, and I don't want this to happen so I stay away".
Many guys actually are VERY conscious about their behaviour. In certain circles - where dominance and "alphaness" is everything, guys will openly admit doing shit like that to tool guys.
There is this club I go to, where this guy (regular) is constantly trying to tool me. At first he was trying to compliment me a lot with "nice jacket dude", "girls must love you with this dude" etc... and then later on he did try the "arm around the neck" thing. He always ended up outframed. At some point he snapped and the passive aggressiveness ceased: he would suddenly tell girls in front of my face "this guy is a bullshitter don't talk to him" which clearly backfired. He then went up to me and told me "why can't you just fucking die".
So... yeah... funny when they reveal themselves.
Turns out he is the brother of the head of security. He could technically kick out anyone... but turns out... I know the owner and manager. Oooops. Must be frustrating for that guy!
But fast forward about a year, I wasn't peacocking as much. I can distinctly remember several times being at bars or clubs and seeing some guy in really outlandish clothes and just going up to the guy being like, "Hey man, that's a crazy outfit! I love the blah blah blah," before I even knew what I was doing. Sometimes the guy is cool and you get a conversation, but sometimes the dude just completely snubs you and you feel like an idiot for even approaching him. It was a good experience though because I realized
- You're really putting yourself at risk socially by reacting to something deliberately attention-grabbing someone is doing / has going on, and
- If you DO want to open someone doing something attention-grabbing, unless you know that person wants to talk to you, it should be for some reason totally IRRELEVANT to any of the attention-grabbing stuff they have going on to not come off like another stars-in-their-eyes random.
I usually ignore peacocked dudes. Why should I care. Unless I wear a similar style or similar type of jacket, I won't open. If I do, I can open with the "we are on the same level" but I see no point in that.
In nighttime social circle game @Mr.Suave
(THE EXPERT) distinguishes between "connectors" (key guys who can get you access to things, introduce you to girls, or to other key people) and dead-ends (most guys in the venue basically: those who basically bring nothing to the table). You never waste time on a dead-end.
Why the hck should I open a guy who peacocks? Unless he is a key guy (a connector, promoter, picker, famous dude etc) I see no point in doing that. But if t turns out that he is in fact a key person, I would open indirectly, and after chatting for a while, tell him "hey BTW, looking good tonight" and then exit the set. In this context, it is always well-taken.
If you run up to dudes and compliment them, them, they will ignore you - this is the case for high value people (celebs, influencers, connectors) - I noticed. There MUST be something to it.
It's obviously some kind of subconscious male response. Some instinct of "go talk to the peacocking guy."
I think it is instinctual in the sense that they feel threatened by it - that is at least @Pelusita
Not sure this explains every situation. In many cases, other men may simply see you as high value and leech from you (being leeched from usually involves some AMOGING and when that is not the case, you will nevertheless benefit nothing from it). However, @Pelusita
's theory holds true when it comes to very masculine "macho" guys. They hate seeing skinny feminine flashy dudes get the girls, when in their circles, attractiveness is (and according to their belief, also "should") be linked to muscles, badassness and "masculine behaviour". This is partly why @Pelusita
and I (but also @Maximilian
) are careful around bouncers because they totally freak out when they see some flashy "feminine looking" guy get the girls. It shatters their reality (and no befriending will counter act that).
In the animal world, the flashiest person is usually the leader, and the guy who fucks all the women. Even historically, and still in many cultures, the leaders of tribes etc, wear the flashiest clothes. So there must be something biological and instinctual to it. At the very least, something cultural is playing in.
But it seems like there is another group of men doing something like what I did those times I did it as a beginner-early-intermediate where the dude is just looking for a potential alliance with a cool-looking guy
Worse case scenario: AMOG
Best case scenario: Leech
(Most of the time: AMOG)
Conclusion is the same.
Also if you let him "leech" he may "accidentally show up" whenever you are in isolation with a girl... and it will be hard to get rid of him since... you are his "friend" now right?
At least in my experience, it seems like most of the guys approaching you when you are peacocked are trying to buddy up to you because they think you look cool, while only a minority are actually trying to status jockey with you.
Depends on the venue. In certain venues (where it is a status competition - could be high end or ghetto), or a place with tons of male competition (bad ratio venue), then it is ALWAYS an AMOG.
Actually, I'd say the majority of time - even in friendlier venues, it is still an AMOG we are dealing with. Why? Most guys are not (socially) intelligent in field, and believing they are, is in my book a form of projection. We (you and I) believe aliances are useful. Most men, actually don't.
Example: Guy is stuck with a 2 set. He can't pull both. But nthere is no way in hell that he will make it easy for you to enter that set and take the leftover girl. From a PU perspective, the smart call for the guy would be to befriend and assist you, because you coming in, will help him get his girl (you will provide distraction and isolation). But nope, he HAS to DESPERATELY assert his dominance. It is "his tribe".
Solution A is "approving AMOG": "Hey man, as the higher status man than you, I approve of you."
I prefer to hit hard because this reduces the chances that he will try again. This strategy (solution A) leaves an opening for future power-plays by him. If not powerplays, there will be potential future annoyances.
Most AMOGS are not high status people (which is weird that call it "AMOG" - as in "alpha male of the group") because high status people don't need to AMOG you. So most guys who status jockey are low value people - and usually what @Mr.Suave
refers to as "dead ends".
Thus not worth your time.