Why I’m depressed(My story)

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WittyJester

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Went to therapist and they didn’t offer any advice so I’m posting this here
I’m 20 and feel stupid for only talking 1-2 females from ages 14-19. Now I’m 20 with no sexual experience, no party experience and very little social experience. How am I supposed to be good at sex with no experience at such an old age!? By 20, the average female body count is like 20-30. My social media is very low and I’m embarrassed.You I feel deep regret and ashamed of myself for not knowing any better. I was raised in a very strict household. I didn’t go to college at 18 like everyone else and feel like I’m gonna be so old going to college at 21/22. Now that I want to party I have nobody to party with. What am I supposed to do!?

Please help
 

Train

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There are PUAs on here that started their journey at much older ages to great success.

Take it from an older guy, you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you.

Don't measure success by lay count or social media. Those can be helpful metrics but don't let your life be ruled by them.

Take it easy. You're on the right path because you are conscious that there is a problem. That's the first step.

Just take it one step at a time. I would suggest focusing on finding friends through hobbies or classes. Work on your basic social skills. Make friends, learn social norms and calibration.

Invest in yourself in other ways other than women. Examples are studies or career, fitness, social hobbies, exercise, diet, clothes, grooming, etc.

When you feel socially connected and like you have a lot of things to keep you busy and content, then add cold approaching. Even 1 approach a day is great. Probably 90% of guys don't even do that much.

Don't feel the need to do it all to make up for lost time. Ironically enough, that can take longer to work (if it even does) than doing it slow and steady.

Again, you have plenty of time to make friends, date cute girls, and more!
 

fog

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you explored your upbringing in the strict household with the therapist?

or you explored your desire to go to parties with the therapist?

youre depressed because you were raised in a strict household?

or youre depressed because you cant go to parties?
 
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Elliot

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Went to therapist and they didn’t offer any advice so I’m posting this here
I’m 20 and feel stupid for only talking 1-2 females from ages 14-19. Now I’m 20 with no sexual experience, no party experience and very little social experience. How am I supposed to be good at sex with no experience at such an old age!? By 20, the average female body count is like 20-30. My social media is very low and I’m embarrassed.You I feel deep regret and ashamed of myself for not knowing any better. I was raised in a very strict household. I didn’t go to college at 18 like everyone else and feel like I’m gonna be so old going to college at 21/22. Now that I want to party I have nobody to party with. What am I supposed to do!?

Please help

@WittyJester

I have gone through a similar experience myself seeing therapists at uni and medicating myself from a young age. Together with only less than a handful of lays. I'm out of uni( Decided to gap years)

It can feel overwhelming when you compare yourself to the standards as a beginner. I often think the same but this sort of thinking doesn't get you anywhere and you feel helpless. You're just perpetuating the victim mindset.

Notice that the shame intensifies as you feed it with regret instead of thinking how you could take action. To learn from your shame you must change your behavior, and behavioral change can stem from thinking differently.

Simply put, take initiative. Be deliberate about your results. The real competition is yourself
 

WittyJester

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@WittyJester

I have gone through a similar experience myself seeing therapists at uni and medicating myself from a young age. Together with only less than a handful of lays. I'm out of uni( Decided to gap years)

It can feel overwhelming when you compare yourself to the standards as a beginner. I often think the same but this sort of thinking doesn't get you anywhere and you feel helpless. You're just perpetuating the victim mindset.

Notice that the shame intensifies as you feed it with regret instead of thinking how you could take action. To learn from your shame you must change your behavior, and behavioral change can stem from thinking differently.

Simply put, take initiative. Be deliberate about your results. The real competition is yourself
What initiative is there to take.
you explored your upbringing in the strict household with the therapist?

or you explored your desire to go to parties with the therapist?

youre depressed because you were raised in a strict household?

or youre depressed because you cant go to parties?
I’m depressed because Iwant to party and want to meet women and game at parties but I don’t have an available social network/circle. I also feel my upbringing and history with women affects my reputation and therefore my self esteem.
 

Mr.Rob

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Dude you're 20 years old. Chase Amante (the founder of this whole site who's taught thousands upon thousands of guys to get good with women) was in the same exact situation as you and started improving his social skills at age 22!

You've got a 2 year hear start on the master.

What you really need to be asking yourself is ARE YOU READY TO GO THROUGH AND COMMIT TO THE PROCESS OF TRANSFORMING YOUR DATING LIFE FROM SCRATCH?

It's totally possible... But it's not easy.

If you're ready to take responsibility for your situation and take massive action you can change your dating life from zero to hero in 2 years or so... Maybe less if you pick up on it quick.

But most guys aren't willing to go thru the fire... If you're ready to change your life you can do it. Just gotta start.

I hope you choose to forge ahead my friend.
 

fog

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I’m depressed because Iwant to party and want to meet women and game at parties but I don’t have an available social network/circle. I also feel my upbringing and history with women affects my reputation and therefore my self esteem.

My recommendation is that you go back to therapy to explore and recover from your strict upbringing. That's the root cause of your depression - not the lack of parties in your life.

Even when you do start living the party life, you will remain depressed.
 

WittyJester

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Dude you're 20 years old. Chase Amante (the founder of this whole site who's taught thousands upon thousands of guys to get good with women) was in the same exact situation as you and started improving his social skills at age 22!

You've got a 2 year hear start on the master.

What you really need to be asking yourself is ARE YOU READY TO GO THROUGH AND COMMIT TO THE PROCESS OF TRANSFORMING YOUR DATING LIFE FROM SCRATCH?

It's totally possible... But it's not easy.

If you're ready to take responsibility for your situation and take massive action you can change your dating life from zero to hero in 2 years or so... Maybe less if you pick up on it quick.

But most guys aren't willing to go thru the fire... If you're ready to change your life you can do it. Just gotta start.

I hope you choose to forge ahead my friend.
No matter who I meet or sleep with. They are going to have a bunch of options. Go out, have a bunch of parties etc. In comparison, I’d be a loser
 

WittyJester

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My recommendation is that you go back to therapy to explore and recover from your strict upbringing. That's the root cause of your depression - not the lack of parties in your life.

Even when you do start living the party life, you will remain depressed.
My 1st female I talked to at 18, she was 17 at the time said her body count was 24. A lot of females hook up with a different guy every week since the age of 14. I assume attractive females have an average body count of 20 at my age. I’m comparing myself to other dudes at my age who have an abundance of women and think that should be me.
 

Mike Silvertree

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I grew up in a home where my mother was a psychopath and insane Catholic, who cut pictures of women in swimsuits or underwear out of magazines before they were allowed to be read. I got kicked put of the house at 15, because after my dad died, she started to spend her nights in cheap bars and was coming home very late every night, and kids were cramping her fun. She also kicked my 8 year old sister out the same year, she ended up living with a relative, I ended up in "foster homes", which were farms that wanted to get paid to have farm hands. I never had cool clothes or cool stuff like other kids, despite living in an expensive zip code and having two college educated parents. And I didn't start college until I was 32. I had zero girlfriends or social contact with girls my age before I was kicked out because I was never allowed to attend social events or do stuff where girls my age would be.

Despite all that, I got laid the first time when I was 17, and by the time I moved in with my girlfriend at age 27, we are still married 43 year later BTW, I had 7 girlfriends who would fuck me, 3 more who would not when I was 16 & 17 and was still willing to put up with a sex not included relationship with a woman, 2 fuck buddies, and another 2 dozen random lays with women I met in bars or parties, and had no PUA community on the Internet to teach me anything, because it was the late 60s - early 70s, and only huge corporations and government agencies had computers and the internet hadn't been invented.

You are depressed because your life sucks. Fix your life and you will not be depressed. Figure out what is wrong and start fixing things. Start talking to women, it isn't hard. Instead of making another whiny post here, spend the time reading an article on girlschase.com and learn something that will help you to get laid.

To quote the Old Gaffer, "It's the job never started what takes the longest."
 
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