Why No Fap Doesn't Work

[Tony D]

I have a dirty secret.

I love jerking off.

I love porn too. And quite often, I jerk off to porn. During the height of my pickup girl phase, I still jerked off daily... releasing my manseed into a tissue, and then going out to pickup girls.

I was horny... I'd go out. I wasn't... I'd go out anyway. Because if I wasn't horny... all it took was meet one hot girl... and I would be.

My favourite jerk off material is not one porn star, but the memories of the girls I've loved. I have all of the real ones, and the imaginary, and the girls I met on the bus, at the cafe, in the gym...

If you're not approaching women enough to get good at this, it's not because you're watching porn, or jerking off too much. If you don't believe me, try this simple experiment.

Before you go out to day or night game, jerk off. Release. Then go and approach a girl that turns you on. Notice, that after your interaction, you'll be rock hard, turned on, and ready to go. Even if you've just spanked ten minutes earlier. You'll be hornier than ever.

Your body knows the difference between a movie, your imagination, and a real woman. When a real woman laughs at your joke, touches your arm, and lets one of her breasts graze across your chest... you'll be horny as a billy goat.

Or you can stand in the corner watching the girls, dealing with your AA, all while suffering through blue balls.

It's not your lack of horniness that's keeping you from approaching... it's your lack of belief.

The guy who believes in this stuff... in himself... he doesn't go out because he's horny... he goes out because he loves women. He knows he's on a mission, to develop a skill that takes practice. He enjoys the process.

If you don't enjoy the process... then why not? That's the real problem. Find out why you can't over come a silly fear like approaching women, and tackle that first. If you have to stop jerking off in order to be productive, then you'll never be a great seducer.

The motivation should be inside of you, whether you're horny or not.

One minute of flirting with a beautiful, real girl, and you'll want to jerk off immediately. That will motivate you to close.

Don't rely on your horniness to get you out of the house. This is not important. Showing up, taking the path... this is.

 

[Carousel]

Nofap is only relevant if the sticking point is related to lack of sexdrive. That is only a subset of "AA".

A lot of guys are blocked by social anxiety or ego. This runs deeper than jerking off.

I personally never got much out of nofap, mostly because I am generally healthy and lift so I have plenty of drive anyway, like you.

 

[Chrance]

I disagree a little bit here. NoFap is necessary to reduce or eliminate porn induced ED. This may not produce enough motivation to approach or eliminate AA, but it will improve your sex life. It’s hard to sexually prize yourself with a limp dick without being self delusional. Confidently knowing that once you and her are getting it on, she will have a great time - this knowledge can aid you in your approaches. If you have a limp porn induced ED dick, great mental gymnastics is required in order to believe she’ll have a good time.

Cutting porn and fapping has improved my focus while sarging and my sex life. It should not be treated as a trivial health improvement. Also, different men have different sex drives. This must be considered.

Anyone who has grown up with porn should absolutely go nofap. It’s good for your health, like exercise and eating your vegetables.

I definitely agree that nofap will not solve AA, but it can help for sure; it absolutely will not make your AA worse.

 

[Carousel]

I disagree a little bit here. NoFap is necessary to reduce or eliminate porn induced ED. This may not produce enough motivation to approach or eliminate AA, but it will improve your sex life. It’s hard to sexually prize yourself with a limp dick without being self delusional. Confidently knowing that once you and her are getting it on, she will have a great time - this knowledge can aid you in your approaches. If you have a limp porn induced ED dick, great mental gymnastics is required in order to believe she’ll have a good time.

This I can relate to. Fap and porn is somewhat bad for erection, especially if you are drunk. I rarely have big problems with this, but if you are screwing a chic multiple times it will start matter.

 

[Carousel]

BTW prizing is outer game, the act of getting seen as the prize, not what you believe about yourself. Swingcat did a bad job at formulating this.

 

[Tony D]

I'm not saying that not jerking off is a bad thing. Especially if you're someone who's getting laid. I'm referring to men who are not taking action, and think that no fap will be the magic pill that gets them out the door.

My point is that, in most cases, once you're flirting with an attractive woman, you'll become very horny. But most guys never go take the action, and then spend months focusing on not fapping, thinking this will create the drive to overcome AA. It's a sort of paradox.

 

[DarkKnight]

I agree that no-fap doesn't cure approach anxiety. However it definitely does increase your drive and courage somewhat. When you ejaculate you lose important minerals that the body needs to perform optimally. Verbalizing suffers, perception suffers, courage suffers, even motoric functions suffer. You pro's are probably so adept in pickup that you can do with residual energy, but the beginner or the intermediate will definitely feel the handicap. Also you are less picky when you have abstained for a period which increases girls you actually want to open.

Is it a magic pill for approach anxiety? Absolutely not. But nofap does definitely have it's perks and continuous masturbation is self sabotage of the highest order. How can you have a good drive when you have already made your body (somewhat) content. It just doesn't match. You have to keep yourself hungry in order to achieve.

 

[Tony D]

I agree that no-fap doesn't cure approach anxiety. However it definitely does increase your drive and courage somewhat. When you ejaculate you lose important minerals that the body needs to perform optimally. Verbalizing suffers, perception suffers, courage suffers, even motoric functions suffer. You pro's are probably so adept in pickup that you can do with residual energy, but the beginner or the intermediate will definitely feel the handicap. Also you are less picky when you have abstained for a period which increases girls you actually want to open.

Is it a magic pill for approach anxiety? Absolutely not. But nofap does definitely have it's perks and continuous masturbation is self sabotage of the highest order. How can you have a good drive when you have already made your body (somewhat) content. It just doesn't match. You have to keep yourself hungry in order to achieve.

I get your point. But when I was a newb, I didn't have an incredibly high sex drive. I had a vision. I could jerk off, and still go out and have a highly motivated night, come home and be super horny.

It's just that I've seen this trend towards NoFap like it's some miracle cure for everything from AA, to writing your great American novel. While low T is definitely a problem, it's my belief for that the vast majority of men who aren't getting laid, not jerking off doesn't help a whole lot, outside of their imagination. I can't tell you how many clients have hired me, and have gone on and on about their no fap, yet they're still not taking action.

There's one poster here that is always going off about he he's no fap, watching his diet, lifting, yet still can't find the inner game necessary to just feel good and approach women.

Just as an experiment... jerk off before you go out. Release. And then actually approach women in a complete state of non arousal. This will teach you something about how irrelevant not fapping is, in that regard.

If you're dealing with a rotation of sex buddies, yes you need to keep that energy for them, for sure. And there is something to transmutation of sexual energy. But in my experience, there's nothing to get the libido pumping like taking action. Your body knows when it's needed.

If you have a porn addiction this is obviously extreme. I'm a big fan of jerking off and it hasn't affected me negatively. I just think it's overall, it's a hyped solution to fixing drive, ambition, sex appeal, etc... but is mostly a placebo. You can be horny as hell, and still not get shit done. For AA, I think it can make things worse, since you're so horny you can't even be present in the moment. It just makes your nerves even worse.

This is not all cases, obviously.

Does no fap help you? Then that's great. But pushing it like it's the godly answer to all of men's problems... wishful thinking. That's the vibe I get from diehard no fappers. It's like the new miracle cure.

 

[DarkKnight]

@Tony D Yeah man I agree, nofap is not some kind of cure all and probably way too much hyped. People mention "superpowers" because they are normally drugged out and can't remember what it is to be normal. Porn is like heroine I read somewhere, some time ago. I found that what really helps instead is using visualization exercises. I can already open girls, but visualization exercises make me that much more smooth and prone to take action. But that is something that you have to build up and train too. There are no magic pills.

 

[TheHustler]

No Fap makes me have exteme anxiety which negatively effects my approaches (LIke if I go a few months without fapping). I do best going out right after fapping.

 

[Skills]

Lack of sex drive have 0 to do with aa and 0 to do with no fap.... pseudo science...

causation = correlation


The only problem i see with fapping is maintaining the erection or pre mature ejaculation from excitement... It could also affect you being present when you are banging that is(your mind wonders to porn) and it could affect if you have no sexual experience doing stuff you saw in porn that most of the time does not translate to real life

 

[Chrance]

@Tony D nofapping does not have the effect you think it will have - that is to say, it won’t make you super horny, where you feel agitated over not getting a release. This agitation IME comes from jerking off and porn itself, not from nofap. Nofap calms you down and has a similar effect to fapping before sarging, where your head is clear and your not agitated over getting a release; except with nofap you don’t run the risk of porn-induced ED and, most relevant to PUAs, getting limp dick during an SNL

This sounds strange, because you’d think that not fapping causes horniness agitation, but this is only temporarily; after sometime no fapping leads precisiely to a similar situation as jerking off before going out, except no risk of ED.

I think though there is a distinction between fapping with no porn and fapping to porn; the former doesn’t have the same negative effects as the latter; with the latter, you can have a woman in your hands who is attractive to you, but your dick just won’t get hard for some reason; it’s not that your not horny, it’s that your dick will only get hard to certain images you’ve conditioned your mind to get aroused by; this is a nightmare situation. Your like “here I am with a woman I like, but my dick simply will not get hard or stay hard. What is wrong with me?”

 

[Protean]

I think the main benefit of NoFap is cutting out pornography. Watching porn absolutely has negative effects on me and I’ve been working on completley eliminating it from my life.

In the seasons where I’ve been consuming tons of porn, life tends to slowly start falling apart. My discipline crumbles, I get really lazy, and I start getting depressed (and turn to porn to try to feel better).

When I’ve cut out porn it’s a complete 180. I’m setting goals and using the time I spent surfing tube sites to bring me closer to what I want.

Jerk off if you must. But don’t use porn as an aid. It will condition you to not get aroused by real women.

If you absolutely have to use some form of visual aid, I’ve found using still images (no gifs) of women I’m attracted to be okay.

Just go on one of the dozens of NSFW subreddits, find a girl that tickes your fancy, then imagine the sex with her.

Better that than to get off by watching some dude fuck the girl you like lol

 

[TheHustler]

I think sometimes fapping can lead to dick insensitivity too (depends on how someone masturbates). Which can cause issues of staying or getting aroused.

 

[Velasco]

there was a post a long time ago by a seducer named YaReally, who talked about how your brain is constantly absorbing information from your environment (music, memes, news stories (coronavirus)). And how one should feed his brain with content that is ultimately productive to what your trying to do. Put you in the state you want to be in. Because ultimately...you are what you consume.

So a PUA, that would mean blasting and singing along to good music as he got ready to head to the bars to get himself used to the massive stimulus of music.

Another thing that was interesting, was that he would play porn running in the background to get himself in the mindset of 'girls are all looking to get fucked tonight'.

I took this idea even further (still sometimes do this today), and did this right before entering the bar I was heading towards. I would find a bench outside (away from pedestrians) sometimes to get myself in the mindset of 'fuck social pressure' I'd watch porn while there WERE people walking near me). and just watch short clips on youtube about alpha guys doing alpha shit and watch porn to get myself into that mindset. I found it to be killer. But obviously didn't fap (I'm not THAT much of a psychopath lol).

Being in this 'girls are all looking to get fucked tonight' mindset, is major key when your running your sex gambits for law of state transference purposes. Because its one thing to talk about sex with a girl. Its a whole another thing to talk about sex, while you are horny as fuck.

 

[Tony D]

I think the main benefit of NoFap is cutting out pornography. Watching porn absolutely has negative effects on me and I’ve been working on completley eliminating it from my life.

In the seasons where I’ve been consuming tons of porn, life tends to slowly start falling apart. My discipline crumbles, I get really lazy, and I start getting depressed (and turn to porn to try to feel better).

When I’ve cut out porn it’s a complete 180. I’m setting goals and using the time I spent surfing tube sites to bring me closer to what I want.

Jerk off if you must. But don’t use porn as an aid. It will condition you to not get aroused by real women.

If you absolutely have to use some form of visual aid, I’ve found using still images (no gifs) of women I’m attracted to be okay.

Just go on one of the dozens of NSFW subreddits, find a girl that tickes your fancy, then imagine the sex with her.

Better that than to get off by watching some dude fuck the girl you like lol

Oh yeah you can get caught in that endless loop of looking for that perfect new girl you haven't wanked to before. It might take hours of your day.

 

[Train]

In my recent runs of No Fap, it just makes me more pent-up/agitated. Which isn't good since I carry a lot of anxiety at the moment. When I later jerked, I felt much better. I will say these later jerks were much better of course.

Sure, when I've in the weird section of PornHub, or I can't get excited enough to finish with porn, time for a break.

But I think NoFap can easily be fixing the symptom and not the problem. When I went through a bootcamp and felt amazing, I no longer felt the need for junk food, video games, and porn. I was productive. I think I was medicating myself with those things.

If someone is a mad addict, I say quit porn/fapping/etc. But also examine what drove you there in the first place. Can you meet that need more productively? Maybe you're coping with something? It can be a half-measure that delays the inevitable

I wonder how many of these benefits are because people will it so (i.e. placebo).

 

[Dragon913]

masturbation kills my sex drive.

masturbation with porn is even worse, gives me ED.

stay away from it guys...

I believe in no fap is better for sex drive and enjoying women.

 

[Rthm]

Porn tends to fuck with my life. Probably due to fucking with the brain reward system. Masturbating to imagination is fine.

 

[pinpin]

Porn tends to fuck with my life. Probably due to fucking with the brain reward system. Masturbating to imagination is fine.

Wouldn't your brain see it as the same thing?
I like the idea that masturbating to my imagination is 'ok', but what if you're imagining a good porn scene that you once saw?!

PS - I've recently began nofap, and i've realised that jealousy is a massive trigger for a relapse! (not something i've ever seen spoken about). I guess it makes sense since it's a form of stress relief. If my friends tell me a story about how they pulled a threesome with some hot college girls, my desire to masterbate shoots through the roof, and it's certainly not because the story turned me on! It's because of jealousy