Women's frustration is a good sign

[POB]

Just a quick reminder to eveybody (myself included):
Women's frustration is a good sign in a relationship!

Doesn't matter if she is just a fling or a serious GF, if you are getting women frustrated, that's a great sign.
That simply means that her attraction for you is still high, because frustration is an indicator that she cares.

Small clarification...the kind of frustration that you want is that of:
1) "he is not giving me enough attention" and
2) "he is not behaving like I think he should"

What you don't want is for her to feel devaluated or diminished by your presence in her life.

So if that frustation is popping out sparingly and in small doses, you are doing it right.
But if she is constantly naggin' about it, either you are overdoing it or she is too prone to drama.
In that case, just increase comfort levels and check her reactions.

Edit: Now if you are getting no signs of frustration, it probably means that she is too comfortable
and bored, or she is on the verge of checking out of the relationship.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Now if you are getting no signs of frustration, it probably means that she is too comfortable and bored or she is on the verge of checking out of the relationship.

You don't believe in true love do you?

 

[gameboy]

Hmm. You might be on to something there!

I wish I had read this 10-15 years ago

 

[POB]

You don't believe in true love do you?

Course I do!
But even when they love you (and you love them back) they need that spark.

Every 5-6 months I had a focused relationship conversation with my ex so she could vent her frustrations to me.
Do you know what were her complaints?
"you don't text me enough" and
"you take too long to reply"

As I heard those, I was serious on the outside, but inside I had fireworks going.
Afterwards we had amazing sex and I was super mellow and nice for a while to show her that I cared.
Then after maybe 1-2 months, I resumed my old self so she could start to complain again.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I was super mellow and nice for a while to show her that I cared.
Then after maybe 1-2 months, I resumed my old self so she could start to complain again.

Call me a hopeless old-fashioned... I feel like if I need to make a girl unhappy once in a while for her to not lose interest, she's probably not long-term material for me. But I get where you're coming from, probably most women these days do require this kind of thing. Sad state of affairs.

I've seen a few counter examples of couples who don't need to "keep each other on their toes" so much... sure, with surprises maybe and doing exciting things together, dolling themselves up, going out, trips, maybe fetish stuff, but not to the point of slight mutual neglect, making each other "chase" still after the first 3 months of dating etc...

2c

 

[gameboy]

The question is, are there women who will always be happy in a relationship without ever complaining or nagging about anything?

I wouldn't go so far as to purposely *make* them complain, but when there is a complaint and you address it, there's a chance that after a while, you'll just fall back to your old behaviour by default. If it's just something like "you don't text me enough", I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. We're all busy people and have things going on, and even though we'd like to make more time for our partners it isn't always possible.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I think the "not texting enough" thing is a passion trap / attachment styles issue, personally.

 

[Will_V]

Just a quick reminder to eveybody (myself included):
Women's frustration is a good sign in a relationship!

Doesn't matter if she is just a fling or a serious GF, if you are getting women frustrated, that's a great sign.
That simply means that her attraction for you is still high, because frustration is an indicator that she cares.

Small clarification...the kind of frustration that you want is that of:
1) "he is not giving me enough attention" and
2) "he is not behaving like I think he should"

What you don't want is for her to feel devaluated or diminished by your presence in her life.

So if that frustation is popping out sparingly and in small doses, you are doing it right.
But if she is constantly naggin' about it, either you are overdoing it or she is too prone to drama.
In that case, just increase comfort levels and check her reactions.

Edit: Now if you are getting no signs of frustration, it probably means that she is too comfortable
and bored, or she is on the verge of checking out of the relationship.

Good stuff here, I think it's easy to misunderstand what you mean by 'frustration' as it sounds like a negative thing. I think of it more as preoccupation with getting more of a certain kind of reward that I might not often give, mixed with some intrigue as to why there isn't an endless supply.

Most of the time it's as simple as not giving her what she wants all the time and holding back a little bit until she leans toward you - the same way you'd tease her sexually.

I found that texting is a big one, it's too easy for her to send a text just to get attention, and it's very easy to reply with something boring. So I always make a point of frustrating girlfriends a bit with long reply times and short flippant texts. I'm sure you've also had the out-of-the-blue 'why don't you ever send me texts asking how my day is?' sort of talk lol.

Whether we like it or not our attention is the most valuable commodity in the relationship, she is always trying to get more, and the more we give the less valuable it becomes for her. So it's almost by definition that she will experience some frustration when she reaches the limit, but it also keeps her satisfaction high when she does get it.

And after a while I think this sort of thing becomes second nature.

 

[Skills]

Just a quick reminder to eveybody (myself included):
Women's frustration is a good sign in a relationship!

Doesn't matter if she is just a fling or a serious GF, if you are getting women frustrated, that's a great sign.
That simply means that her attraction for you is still high, because frustration is an indicator that she cares.

Small clarification...the kind of frustration that you want is that of:
1) "he is not giving me enough attention" and
2) "he is not behaving like I think he should"

What you don't want is for her to feel devaluated or diminished by your presence in her life.

So if that frustation is popping out sparingly and in small doses, you are doing it right.
But if she is constantly naggin' about it, either you are overdoing it or she is too prone to drama.
In that case, just increase comfort levels and check her reactions.

Edit: Now if you are getting no signs of frustration, it probably means that she is too comfortable
and bored, or she is on the verge of checking out of the relationship.

It depends on the context if a women have a legitimate concern and you don't address it they may reach what i call a breaking point (and good luck getting women back post breaking point)..... Also she should not be getting that frustrated after you have stablish your boundaries and frame, they eventually will stop betatization attempts....

women attraction works like this they complain, if you cave, they are happy on moment but you lose their respect.... If they complain about none sense you remain solid attraction increases, this is bd he is right, and in my opinion his best work:

What Men Don’t Understand About Female Attraction - Alpha Male 2.0

This is one of the most important blog posts I’ve ever made. I hope you understand how important this is. It’s a tough one. It is the single most difficult thing men have trouble understanding about women in relationships. Even very woman-experienced men have trouble...

alphamale20.com

 

[POB]

Good stuff here, I think it's easy to misunderstand what you mean by 'frustration' as it sounds like a negative thing. I think of it more as preoccupation with getting more of a certain kind of reward that I might not often give, mixed with some intrigue as to why there isn't an endless supply.

Most of the time it's as simple as not giving her what she wants all the time and holding back a little bit until she leans toward you - the same way you'd tease her sexually.

I found that texting is a big one, it's too easy for her to send a text just to get attention, and it's very easy to reply with something boring. So I always make a point of frustrating girlfriends a bit with long reply times and short flippant texts. I'm sure you've also had the out-of-the-blue 'why don't you ever send me texts asking how my day is?' sort of talk lol.

Whether we like it or not our attention is the most valuable commodity in the relationship, she is always trying to get more, and the more we give the less valuable it becomes for her. So it's almost by definition that she will experience some frustration when she reaches the limit, but it also keeps her satisfaction high when she does get it.

And after a while I think this sort of thing becomes second nature.

Thx man, that's exactly what I meant!

It depends on the context if a women have a legitimate concern and you don't address it they may reach what i call a breaking point (and good luck getting women back post breaking point)..... Also she should not be getting that frustrated after you have stablish your boundaries and frame, they eventually will stop betatization attempts....

Agree 100%.
The context of this post is more for when she is really getting to know you better...like between six months to a year after you've met her.
By then you have already showed you like her company and want to keep seeing her, so she'll def try to nest you.
To me this is the most difficult part, because by default you wanna kick back, enjoy and ride the good vibes you worked so hard to get from her.
This gets you lazy, so you stop working on things and maybe drop your frame.

women attraction works like this they complain, if you cave, they are happy on moment but you lose their respect.... If they complain about none sense you remain solid attraction increases, this is bd he is right, and in my opinion his best work:

What Men Don’t Understand About Female Attraction - Alpha Male 2.0

This is one of the most important blog posts I’ve ever made. I hope you understand how important this is. It’s a tough one. It is the single most difficult thing men have trouble understanding about women in relationships. Even very woman-experienced men have trouble...

alphamale20.com

Yeah, frame control is hard.
In my experience you can only relax after maybe 1.5-2 years of a serious relationship.
By then they've accept you for who you are, and will only try to really test things if you drop the ball.
But they'll still test your frame, that's for sure.

 

[TheEcho]

Always had this with my ex (5 yrs), she would complain about me not texting her enough or reaching out first. My stance was if you want to interact with me more, be here in person (we didn't live together). Though she knew I wasn't THAT busy, so I think it rubbed her the wrong way knowing I'm just gaming or something instead of reaching out or responding asap. I think the hierarchy is:

1. Be actually busy, reach out/respond just under her desired level
2. Not actually busy, reach out/respond just under her desired level

5. Be actually busy, reach out/respond a lot


10. Not actually busy, reach out/respond a lot

 

[Skills]

Always had this with my ex (5 yrs), she would complain about me not texting her enough or reaching out first. My stance was if you want to interact with me more, be here in person (we didn't live together). Though she knew I wasn't THAT busy, so I think it rubbed her the wrong way knowing I'm just gaming or something instead of reaching out or responding asap. I think the hierarchy is:

1. Be actually busy, reach out/respond just under her desired level
2. Not actually busy, reach out/respond just under her desired level

5. Be actually busy, reach out/respond a lot


10. Not actually busy, reach out/respond a lot

I don't know why you guys overcomplicate texting...

Every morning for 3 years I say good morning sun emoji I love you, I have 5 I love you gift or emojis every day I sent a different one..... On the middle of the day I sent eye emoji.... Max time 5 seconds combined morning and afternoon.... If she has something to say and I want to engage I match, If I don't she will feel by my response or no response.... Is not that complicated..

 

[TheEcho]

Uhh... that sounds way more complicated

 

[Skills]

Uhh... that sounds way more complicated

Yeah 10 seconds of texting a day is complicated...then I don't know what to tell you...

 

[TheEcho]

I respond when I feel like it. I did plenty of good morning/night texts, and checked if she got home every day, but that was just going by what I wanted to do. I don't see where I'm complicating things. I don't like text and avoid it.

 

[Skills]

I respond when I feel like it. I did plenty of good morning/night texts, and checked if she got home every day, but that was just going by what I wanted to do. I don't see where I'm complicating things. I don't like text and avoid it.

Then have fbs don't get a main...or expect what you expect aka complain and drama... I want you to ask me how often I get complaints and drama other than when she finds women shit.... Almost never if ever... Actually the phones now a days you just click on pre responses.... I just got as I am typing this a I miss you baby.... Phone gave me 3 choices I miss you too or miss you more or some other one clicked on 1 didn't even have to type half a second...

 

[TheEcho]

Almost no drama for 5 years. The only drama was around finances and that was it's own thing. The "you don't text me enough" was barely anything every 6 months or so

 

[POB]

Women will adapt to your routine and frame.
If you text her everyday, she'll expect that.
If you text her every other day, she'll expect that.
If you don't text her at all, she'll initiate (up to some point) untill she is fed up and start to wait for you to do it yourself.

Of course I'm assuming she is into you, if she is not (yet) you'll have to text her regardless.

 

[Huge Jack Man]

Just a quick reminder to eveybody (myself included):
Women's frustration is a good sign in a relationship!

Doesn't matter if she is just a fling or a serious GF, if you are getting women frustrated, that's a great sign.
That simply means that her attraction for you is still high, because frustration is an indicator that she cares.

Small clarification...the kind of frustration that you want is that of:
1) "he is not giving me enough attention" and
2) "he is not behaving like I think he should"

What you don't want is for her to feel devaluated or diminished by your presence in her life.

So if that frustation is popping out sparingly and in small doses, you are doing it right.
But if she is constantly naggin' about it, either you are overdoing it or she is too prone to drama.
In that case, just increase comfort levels and check her reactions.

Edit: Now if you are getting no signs of frustration, it probably means that she is too comfortable
and bored, or she is on the verge of checking out of the relationship.

How do you rectify her being too comfortable in the relationship because I feel like that’s the point where I’m at rn. Before we made it exclusive, I could get her to be frustrated quite easily. But a really short while after I made it exclusive, I don’t get as much reaction from her as I used to. I kinda feel like I got baited here

 

[gameboy]

How do you rectify her being too comfortable in the relationship because I feel like that’s the point where I’m at rn. Before we made it exclusive, I could get her to be frustrated quite easily. But a really short while after I made it exclusive, I don’t get as much reaction from her as I used to. I kinda feel like I got baited here

Why wouldn't you want your woman to be comfortable? As long as your comfortable yourself as well, I really don't see why you'd want to change that