I spent way too much time drafting this, so please try to read this with an open mind, if nothing else so I didn't waste my time. I'm not trying to make you look stupid or anything. I'm trying to spare you from making the same kinds of mistakes I made because my thinking was all screwball and I didn't even realize it. I wish I could go back in time but I can't.
TL;DR: Until you have a strong foundation of experience attracting, dating, and most importantly
sleeping with women, you
don't even know what attraction is, so unless you want to utterly fail at attracting women and never get them naked or in bed, you need to follow the advice of guys who have
been there and done that. Once you
do have that real-world experience under your belt you will be in a better place to craft and test your own unique theories of attraction, and maybe even bang some gang chicas who would today laugh their heads off at the thought of sleeping with you.
NealIRC said:
A lot of Facebookers link to their SnapChat and Instagram, not their Tinder though.
Think about that one for a second. They don't link Tinder because they want to keep their hook-up life discrete!
From everything I've heard, Tinder is pretty much Hook-Up Central, which means your hit ratio is going to be much better because it's already cherry picked for women who are already looking to get laid by a random internet dude. That means you'd have to work the numbers game a lot harder to get the same results in FB, but to complicate matters further, contacting people you don't know is against FB policy, so you're liable to get your account suspended before you really get into useful numbers.
Not to mention, FB usually sends messages from people outside your network straight into a spam folder that many (most?) people never check. Not sure why they even usually 'see' your first few messages, but it's possible they're not really seeing it at all... I strongly suspect it's just a quirk in the UI. Heck, a fair number of people never even check their
normal folder. I know at least a few girls it's impossible to get an answer out of on FB messenger but they'll answer SMS straight away (these are people I know.)
I think the
real reason you're so dead set on FB is because it makes it easier for you to find gang chicas. But let's be real here, you're going to have to pound a fair amount of normal pussy before you're even going to
see gang pussy with your own eyes. No if's, and's, or but's. Sorry.
NealIRC said:
If I do all that... I'm not standing out from the pack. Then I'd just like any other ordinary guy who compliments women.
I get what you're saying and in principle I agree.
If you can create a really strong sexy vibe like James Bond where they don't even need you to compliment them in order to feel the sexual energy, then that's golden. The problem is,
you're not experienced enough to pull that off. Until you've slept with a few dozen women at least and given them an
unbelievably good time in bed, you
absolutely will not have the skill, knowledge or mental calibration required to create that strong of a sexy vibe.
What you are asking to do is like trying to win the Tour de France when you've barely managed to ride a tricycle up your parents' driveway! Some things like giving compliments are not absolutely
ideal but are
necessary steps in learning, like training wheels on a bike.
If you compliment a woman and manage to get her into bed, you're going to learn
immensely more about women than you will from sending a girl some web page full of her pictures. I
guarantee you that with my heart, mind, body and soul. Ask
any man who has slept with a woman and he'll tell you the same.
You don't differentiate yourself from average guys by
not even learning the things average guys know. You differentiate yourself from them by
continuing to learn
more whereas most of them
stop learning when they get just good enough to snag the occasional ok-looking girlfriend who eventually winds up cheating on them.
And by the way, even the iconically sexy character James Bond shows sexual interest - he just does it in more playful, mischievous, and subtle ways. For instance, double meanings, like when he says "beautiful view" to Halle Berry's character, ostensibly referring to the ocean behind her, but she knows what he was
really talking about.
You don't necessarily have to compliment a woman outright but you
do need to show a degree of sexual interest. She has to know that if she plays her cards right she might be able to sleep with you. Otherwise, she
will not pursue, because the social risk to her of appearing desperate or slutty is too great. Society places harsher standards on women. You can't change this.
But again, unless you've slept with a fair number of women, you almost certainly don't have what it takes to convey sexual interest without being direct.
I also understand you wanting to stand out from the pack and not seem like every other guy. The thing is, there are ways to do this
without shunning the basic premise of what experienced guys are telling you to do.
For instance, one of the things this site points out is to invite girls home quickly, like on the first date, with the objective of seducing them. (The importance of this might be explained by
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexy_son_hypothesis.) The examples on this site of inviting girls home overwhelmingly involve either proposing to watch a movie or to cook, probably because these are things most guys are somewhat capable of.
Personally, I find those excuses a bit cliché, and so I'm playing with using the work I do to my advantage. I'm a creative media producer and I work from home, so I might instead get a girl curious about one of my projects, and invite her to have a sneak peek at something unreleased. It's fresh and different. She's probably been invited home to watch a movie by a hundred other guys. She's probably
never been invited to preview a type of project most people never see in their making.
So, yeah, I don't invite her home to watch a movie. But I
do invite her home; if I was to say, "all the other guys invite girls home, so I'm going to
NOT invite girls home," then I'm going to be stuck jerking off instead of having sex.
And let's talk about your science experiments. Now, I'm all for experimenting. It's a crucial learning tool.
The problem is,
you don't have the ability to meaningfully analyze the results of your own experiments. Here I am going to assume that the ultimate purpose of your experiments is to determine which behaviours cause attraction in females and which don't. If that's not what they're about then you're on the wrong website, bud.
Why do I say
you can't do this? Because virgin guys inherently have a difficult time
gauging womens' attraction levels. I've seen it repeatedly both in myself (from when I was, after the fact) and in others. Some times they miss attraction signals, and other times they mistake for actual attraction a girl who is just entertained or leading them on. I know for a fact you have absolutely
no calibration towards judging attraction, because otherwise you wouldn't think you "attracted the fuck out of" a gang chick by sending her some obsessive website which surely made her either laugh at you or cringe.
The only
concrete and
reliable way to know whether you've
actually attracted a girl, is whether she has
mated with you. As in, she allows you to thrust your penis in her vagina. That is the
gold standard for whether she was attracted or not, because that's the ultimate biological purpose of attraction and the only behaviour that is
not common with other intentions that superficially look like attraction to the untrained eye.
Now, guys who have a fair number of lays under their belt will start to pick up on subtle clues that show whether a woman is really attracted or not, so eventually they don't need to sleep with them just to know. But at this point you are
not one of those guys.
What this means is that
your experiments are all largely useless until at least some of them have led to sex. But if you're blatantly ignoring the advice of guys who
already know from experience how to get sex, then chances are, you're going to stumble around trying all the wrong experiments for years, decades, or even your whole life
without even actually knowing, provably, that you attracted even one single woman, even if you trick yourself into thinking you did.
I hope I've made at least some sense to you.