8 March 2024
This is a long one. A lot of stuff happened today...
LR:
Met up with a university student girl who I had approached a couple of weeks back in day game. She had given strong IOIs, so I had approached direct and got her number smoothly. Took a while to get her out as she was busy with exams, but she continued to show interest over text so I expected it to be a smooth date.
We met for shakes in a mall. She seemed nervous, so I sat us at a booth in a quiet but open-facing area. I've recently re-read the GC articles on deep diving, and so I decided today to focus on asking careful questions that elicit understanding while also extracting information I need for cold reads later.
I won’t go too much into this as it was a pretty standard seduction. A couple of notable things were that, while deep diving, I reminded myself to focus on the emotional connections rather than logical facts. This awareness alone helped me steer the conversation.
Another thing was a great cold read I performed. I asked her if she had any pets, she replied that she had a pond of fish. I asked “why fish? Why not a cat or a dog?” She replied that it’s because when one of the fish dies, she wouldn’t miss it as much because it’s just one of many. From there I guessed that she’s the kind of person who gets attached easily not only to animals but also to people, someone who puts up walls to try to protect herself, but underneath is loving and caring. This hit like a bomb - she blushed and said “Oh my god, how do you know me!?” From there, we went back to mine and the rest was straightforward. No LMR. Cold reading is powerful...
Instadate:
Later, I went out to a different mall for dinner. I spotted a cute girl in line at the food court, but it was chaotic and AA got the better of me, so I didn’t approach, though I think she noticed me checking her out with peripheral vision. Later, after I had sat down, she came and sat at a table almost directly next to mine. Took this as an IOI and opened indirect with: “I feel like I’ve seen you here before a few times”. She hooked and accepted my invitation to sit with me. The attraction was strong - she was immediately touching her leg to mine.
I do feel like I’m starting to get the hang of deep diving - focusing on branching the conversation with carefully worded questions to find out her dreams/desires/emotional connections rather than the standard factual stuff I used to run through. When a girl asks me something, I answer concisely and without too much detail, then direct the conversation back to her. This has a powerful compounding effect, and as a bonus, gives me what I need for informed cold reads.
After a while, I suggested we take a walk. We went downstairs to the supermarket as she said she wanted to get some ice cream. We wandered around for a while, then I flipped the frame by saying I needed to buy a few things so that
she would be following
me. We reached the beer section and she mentioned that she really likes a particular local craft beer. I hadn’t planned going for a same day lay, but at this point I saw path and decided to go for it.
I bought a couple of bottles of beer without yet expressly mentioning that we would be drinking them (but let her pick her favourite one). After going through the checkout, we started heading towards the metro station, which is also the direction of my place. As we reached the station entrance (we were holding hands at this point) I went for the pull:
“Listen, I’ve gotta head home to get changed before I head to the ___ event I told you about. Why don’t you come for a bit and we can drink these beers and chat a bit more? I’ll have to leave by 7:30 though.”
She was hesitant and suggested going to a bar instead. I didn’t have time for that though, so I persisted a little before finally relenting and said we can meet another day. We exchanged numbers and parted ways.
Night game:
From there I went to a meetup event for digital nomads, which I mainly went to catch up with a friend who I knew was going. I didn’t intend to meet any girls here as I know that these events are usually a sausage fest (it was). So I caught up with my friend and had a few (mostly boring) conversations with people attempting to escape the 9-5 grind.
As I was sitting with my friend, who was geeking out over crypto technicals with a tiny Israeli girl we met, I caught the eye of two smoking hot girls with tattoos who I had earlier overheard speaking Chinese. As they walked past, I opened simple: “You guys must be Chinese right? I heard you talking before.” and got a pretty easy hook. I quickly realised one was more my type than the other, and I found out that we both speak three of the same languages (English, Chinese and Spanish) which got her very excited.
Riding on the high of excitement, I isolated her by moving her to a table in the corner where I could hear better. She was standing next to me and I was seated on a stool, slightly askance. As I deep dived, the eye contact was intense, though I struggled to bring much sexual framing in (she turned out to be 32, and I find it harder to transition into sex talk with older women for some reason - probably their confidence and strong frame).
Eventually, I found out that we both like Flamenco. She learned the dance in Spain while I learned the guitar. I was pretty amazed by this and so was she, and I escalated her jubilance further by grabbing her hand and telling her how amazing it is that we both speak the same languages and are both into Flamenco. She was SUPER excited now, like a child at Christmas.
In hindsight, this was a critical mistake. I recently read
@Chase's great article about emotional cresting and troughing, and in this moment I forgot what I learned - that the more you stimulate a girl (the crest), the harder the crash in her emotional state (the trough), so it’s important not to over-excite girls too early, which was exactly what I did.
I went to the bathroom and came back. She invited me over to join some other people, but I could tell that the vibe had already shifted, and our conversation became a little awkward. She asked me what I think about reggaeton, and I said that I tolerate it but don’t particularly like it, and she disagreed.
After a while, realizing this new group dynamic wasn't conducive to me moving the seduction forward, I decided to excuse myself and go home. I figured that if I’m to have any chance with this girl, I’ll need to dial back my level of investment and try to get her out on a date.
Bonus...
I thought the night would end here, but when I reached my station, who did I see but.. the girl from the foodcourt! She was just standing there, listening to music. I went over and asked what she was doing, she said she had forgotten her keycard at the mall and had to come back. Very strange, I thought. This time, I decided to take her to a bar.
So we got there and ordered drinks. She spent about 10 minutes scrolling Instagram on her phone, which irritated me. I told her I find it disrespectful. She agreed and put the phone away. I really detest how social media is encouraging anti-social behaviour these days, and in Asia it’s considered normal to be on your phone while out with friends.
I was pretty tired with conversations at this point. I tried running
@Teevster's “secret house” gambit on her, but fucked it up and ended up leaving her confused. Lol. I really need to practice running through these gambits in my head before I open my mouth.
After a while, I suggested going back to mine to have those beers we bought at the supermarket (which I was STILL carrying with me). This time, she accepted. Got some shit from the motorbike taxi driver who tried to double charge me (probably pissed that he saw me pull two different girls home in the same day - the locals think we’re stealing all the girls lol).
At home, I put on some music and opened the drinks. Tried to escalate, but faced serious LMR. I tried everything - the hot/cold method, changing rooms, emotional deep diving - nothing worked. After a while, I gave up and resorted to going totally cold and ignoring her while I wrote an email on my computer. That didn’t work either - she just glued herself to Instagram... Fuck.
She did tell me that she didn’t want sex now because she’s worried about her current financial situation (struggling to find work). Despite being giggly around me, she seemed generally stressed and anxious, so there was probably truth to it. In the end, I called it quits and got her a taxi home.
Takeaways
- I plan to focus a lot more on deep diving, particularly remembering the 8 questions in Chase’s article which I think will be very useful for cold reads.
- Gotta learn to avoid over-stimulating women emotionally. Had I been more chill and nonchalant with the Chinese girl about us both being into the same stuff, I could have avoided crashing her state and turning things cold and awkward.
- I need to memorise the cruxes of some gambits and practice going through them in my head. I doubt the gambit cock-up was the reason for not getting the lay with that last girl, but it obviously didn't help. Need to make sure I’m actually prepared next time.
