Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Life situation

I've gotten myself a bit busy these weeks with some interviews and workshops/trainings/performances in other things I am doing. Not using it as an excuse to not approach, they simply came all together so I have less time for dates or approaching.

I also had one day when I got out to approach when I accidentally lost control and orgasmed before leaving the house, so I wasn't very much into a good state for seduction and the approaches fell flat. Good lesson to pay attention to, it has happened another time, and I generally take care not to do it, but I have been trying to edge myself and build some stamina. It can also energise me if I don't finish, but if I do it's not very good for approaching.

I also have to say that there are some ups and downs during the week regarding how I feel. Meaning that I can get days where I don't feel in a particular good mood, I may get a lot of rejections, and generally these two feed on each other. Lifestyle choices are important for this, I have noticed for example that even if I feel a bit grumpy, after some good dancing or socialising I will feel better.

This previous part is probably what I find most important about social circles, friends, and particularly hanging out with women that genuinely appreciate your company. It keeps your spirit more elevated and lets you go through the rest of your life with some sense of abundance, maybe not in the sexual way, but surely in the social and life satisfaction way.

Approaching and Game Concerns

Regarding the game part though, I can't say I am very satisfied with how I feel about it. It's not even the results, I probably had about 250 approaches last month, 7 dates and 2 times I had sex, so for one month it's not bad for me, one of the girls was also pretty young and cute so even quality wise it wasn't bad.

So it's more about how it all plays out. It feels like I approach, approach, approach and I am trying to find the one/two women who will be into me enough to exchange contacts, then enough to come out on a date, and eventually enough to sleep with me on that date.

It doesn't feel like I am doing anything impressive apart from putting in the numbers really. I suppose I could say that even the fact I can escalate with those girls to sex is something, but it doesn't feel like I am seducing them, more like they happen to be open and I simply allow them to exercise it.

It's also the fact that I rarely feel particularly excited by most women at this point. Even if I see one that is attractive, I will generally feel that I can find so many more like her, and it basically makes me feel that they are all interchangeable.

I approach and I know that there is nothing particularly important about this specific girl. If she is hotter and classier I may desire her more, but I can recognise that this is because I just like her more compared to our environment, and even if I get to sleep with her, I will be happy for my success momentarily but, it wouldn't matter to me that much what happens after that.

Then there are also the girls that I approach, are fairly receptive, but then don't respond to the messages and go nowhere with me, so I am struggling to even enjoy the interactions in the moment, because I can feel in the end they mean nothing, whether good or bad.

It's like rolling a dice all the time and waiting for it to give you a 6 during the approach, then a 6 during the date planning, and eventually a 6 during the date itself, so that you can get to sex and enjoy each other. And then doing it again and again till you find the next one.

I honestly don't know what to get out of all this. I surely know that I rarely approach any more because I am truly excited for the girl and the idea of being with her. I noticed it in a club I was too, I was seeing some hot girls, I could feel for one or two that it would be really nice to be able to have sex with them more than the others, but nothing beyond that, I didn't feel I'd bother to try and spend a long time gaming them really.

And it's exactly because even if I succeeded they would just be another sex partner, even if a very hot one, with no particular importance compared to anyone else after sex. Just someone that happened to like me, was ready for sex and we had it.

Not that this is bad in principle, it just makes all women that could make me hard almost the same in a way, like ok if it's not you it will be some next one, it doesn't matter really.

If anyone reads this I'd like to hear some thoughts. I won't stop approaching, I prefer having sex than not and I prefer it with hot women than not, but I'm not sure if that's enough.

 

[bobbyb112]

It doesn't feel like I am doing anything impressive apart from putting in the numbers really.

It's like rolling a dice all the time and waiting for it to give you a 6

It seems like, from a skill-buildling perspective, it all still feels pretty random. Sure, you're getting some results, but it feels like the results are more or less random, and therefore you just have to do a high volume of approaches to get the desired outcome (number, date, sex). It's kind of boring, because it's just like sitting at a slot machine, waiting for the few times when your random lever-pulling comes up a winner. You know it will, but it is kind of mindless in the meantime. Which is boring, and doesn't feel like you're learning anything.

You can start to look for smaller signals from the girl, things you do, how well they work. Make predictions in your head before you do them, and try to predict what will happen, within an interaction, as well as after the interaction. For example: Will this tease have a good reaction? Is this girl looking to meet a guy or will she be closed off? Will this girl text back based on the interaction or not? Will she come out on a date or no?

Making these predictions, and testing different things to change the outcomes, is what makes the game interesting. This is where the real fun of learning game, or any other skill, is. This is the addicting part. Changing your techniques and tactics, making predictions, and seeing if you can improve the overall results (positive interactions, numbers, dates, lays, etc).

I like this article talking about this:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/want-get-good-make-predictions-your-head

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It seems like, from a skill-buildling perspective, it all still feels pretty random. Sure, you're getting some results, but it feels like the results are more or less random, and therefore you just have to do a high volume of approaches to get the desired outcome (number, date, sex). It's kind of boring, because it's just like sitting at a slot machine, waiting for the few times when your random lever-pulling comes up a winner. You know it will, but it is kind of mindless in the meantime. Which is boring, and doesn't feel like you're learning anything.

You can start to look for smaller signals from the girl, things you do, how well they work. Make predictions in your head before you do them, and try to predict what will happen, within an interaction, as well as after the interaction. For example: Will this tease have a good reaction? Is this girl looking to meet a guy or will she be closed off? Will this girl text back based on the interaction or not? Will she come out on a date or no?

Making these predictions, and testing different things to change the outcomes, is what makes the game interesting. This is where the real fun of learning game, or any other skill, is. This is the addicting part. Changing your techniques and tactics, making predictions, and seeing if you can improve the overall results (positive interactions, numbers, dates, lays, etc).

I like this article talking about this:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/want-get-good-make-predictions-your-head

The thing I have been trying to do this in general. My issue is I really struggle to see the patterns.

What I mean is that I get girls responding well to my approach that will or won't come to meet me again, without any clear distinction between why one or the other happens. Literally last week I had 2-3 girls that felt fairly interested when I approached, happily agreed to meet again and gave me their numbers and then I got no response after the first icebreaker text.

Other girls have reacted to me in a similar way, and after a similar texting strategy have come out with me, quite easily. So I can't seem to understand if there is even anything I can do to change this randomness.

Same with which girls come to the date open for sex. It doesn't seem that how easily they agree to the date matters, it may be that they just want a friend or boyfriend, while others would enjoy some sexual action indeed.

After the date starts, things seem to be getting more clear. If the girl seems open to be sexual it will generally happen, if not it won't, but it still doesn't feel I am really seducing her, more that I am making the right moves to give her what she already wants.

But at least my predictions at this stage of seduction seem to be getting better, my main issue is with early interactions where no matter what I try, it seems to change mainly the reactions of the girls and not the results. I still remember some of my best approaching days with a great vibe, getting multiple numbers, but eventually not getting any more dates than I got from my worse days with very few numbers.

And it's a problem, because I am reaching the point that even if a girl responds well and seems excited, I can't feel much excited myself, since I feel her reaction means nothing until we get alone together.

So I fully agree with what you say, it feels that any technique I try is just a form of attention grabbing that in the end doesn't matter much, which makes me wonder which techniques in fact give the results, and what i should even be trying to improve.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It was quite a fun last week. I didn't get any particular action but I got more than 15 numbers daygaming, and a bunch of them did respond and seem they would be potential meets. The scheduling part is a bit difficult, because there are times that girls have different free evenings than me, so I will see how many eventual meetings I will manage to plan.

The reason I say it was fun though is because of the general interactions I had and the density of good ones. I don't think I approached more than 50-60 girls, so getting the number of 1 out of 4 is pretty good, especially when I approach without any IOIs and some girls happen to be in relationships too.

I was thinking if I did anything particularly different this week, and I honestly don't think that behaviour wise I changed a lot. Maybe some of my stops were a bit stronger, but I also had interactions that didn't feel that good too. The one thing I did do is that I had a haircut and cut my beard as well, so I was really wondering if this could have made such a difference.

Because it wasn't even just the numbers, a bunch of the interactions were weirdly positive.

I had a girl sitting at a bus stop talking to the phone, I approached and she instantly told to the person on the phone she will call later and focused on me completely. Then she told me via text she is very busy these days and doesn't have any time for a drink, but anyway, it was still an interesting interaction. I had another girl the same day in fact talking to the phone that I approached when we exited the same bus, and she instantly gave me her number showing that she was busy but we could catch up another time. This one did answer two three times and even told me she would like to meet but now she has been silent for two days after my date proposal. Really funny phone interactions though, in approaches I could have just skipped thinking they are busy.

I also had a girl in another bus stop that I approached, she was sitting at a bench, there was no place for me to sit so I was standing next to her, and at some point she stood up for no obvious reason since her bus wasn't coming yet. And I was thinking, is she autocomplying by making herself more uncomfortable to not feel that I am the only uncomfortable one standing? I have planned a date with this one for tomorrow, so we'll see.

I also had another girl walking fairly fast at night around my area that I stopped, we ended up being from the same country, and also felt particularly eager to meet. We couldn't really find a common free day with her after exchanging different options, so we said we'll see if we both feel like meeting tonight after we are finished with our stuff.

I also got the number of a girl that was speaking almost no english, used some google translate, she told me she has kids but no husband, so I wrote her: So we can flirt shamelessly. We talked about meeting maybe in 2 weeks due to our schedules, not even sure how this will work planning wise, but whatever, she answered to my text a bit earlier today, so she still feels into it.

To continue with the interesting approaches this one was a bit metaphysical. Yesterday morning I saw the whatsapp story of a girl I had approached more than a year ago and never got out. On it she was with two friends, and looking at them I felt that I liked one of her friends more. Later that day I was walking in the city and saw two classy looking girls walking and window-shopping. And as I approached them I realised it was that girl I had the number of, with that friend I liked more. Funny thing is that the girl I had approached in the past felt quite worse after a bunch of plastic surgeries on her face, while the other one was more natural.

I opened them recognising that they are window-shopping, and they told me: yeah maybe you can buy us something. I told them, maybe they can buy me, there are these lovely heels there, very classy, but not too high, I think I'd walk them perfectly. Then I got told that it's not how it works, the guy is the one who buys things, so I said ah in my experience it's the opposite, girls always buy me things, what to do.

There was a small silence there, so I expressed my interest to the friend, and after some basic chit chat we started walking together the three of us, we exchanged some information, I felt that the girl I had approached in the past was the more testy one, but it was smooth, I was keeping some silences too, like I was a natural part of the group. At some point they said they'd stop and take a tram from a stop we were passing, so I said to the friend before you go, I'd like to see you again, and she was like sure why not. I asked for her number, she gave me her business card with it, joked that this was too professional, saw she was an actress, I told her that's interesting I am kind of one myself maybe she will be useful, she said we could talk about business too, and I said yeah that's not really my point of talking to you really, let's take care of the chill stuff first. She did answer my icebreaker, so who knows. It's not even that she is some incredibly good-looking one, but it was still interesting how it worked out after seeing her in the morning and thinking yeah I'd go for her.

And after that, inside the main train station, I approached with a lot of positive energy a girl that looked very classy, and she responded with my name... I asked her if we had met, and she told me I talked to her and complimented her some time ago, and then I said sure if you looked like this I would have done it, and I do remember now. Then she said how they say that you sometimes may meet twice, and I said that yeah it's fate sometimes it brings you together.

I then asked few questions about how she has been and what she is up to to build some connection, because honestly she was looking me with dreamy eyes like the whole universe was giving her a sign we are made for each other. I asked about her number, she told me I have it and went to our whatsapp chat and sent me a text to reignite the conversation. I told her this week is busy for me but we can keep in touch and catch up, and she said, yeah text me at whatsapp, I'm available. I did text her later, realised she had flaked on me in the past, but I do feel there is a huge chance she will come out now.

I'd say the worst thing through all this is managing all these numbers, and somehow finding time to allocate for each one of the girls, at least it is a good problem to have. Not that they will all come out eventually, who knows, maybe I will sleep with none of them, it wouldn't really surprise me too much, as I have said before, until we really get together it is not over.

It was still a good time though, and I didn't even allocate a lot of time going around to approach. A number of these girls were ones I caught going around for every day tasks. And even when allocating more time, it is good to be having some nice results during it, especially when they are in a variety of scenarios: walking girl, sitting girl, standing girl, girl with phone, girl with earbuds, girl with a friend. Although I know validation has to be internal, I can't lie that it does feel good if a bunch of interactions go well.

I also approached three really young and beautiful girls outside a club at night. That was an interesting one because I was walking around the area with a backpack since I was outside earlier for some other reason, so my whole vibe was totally off with the 2am nightclub one, but thought who cares.

These girls were 9s at least, very beautiful faces, thin and tall, and the funny thing is I treated them as silly and cute by default. I mean I approached one of them I liked more and focused on her mostly. Then there was another guy that came in asking for her number and her friends number. I felt some anxiety in my body and some fight or flight feeling, but I stayed in being generally chill, trying to make it feel like he was weird for jumping in. My girl had told me she was 2 when I asked her age, and when the guy came in I kinda mentioned it, and he went like yeah I'm into that, so I said ok not my problem, making a face showing how strange that was. When he tried to take the friend's number I told my girl that he really doesn't care and would sleep with any of them, and my girl told me: Wouldn't you?, and I told her: Do you see me talking to your friends or to you?

After some seconds another guy came in with a lot of energy kinda inviting them to another party, he basically side hugged me, I did it back, gave him a compliment, then he was like let's go to the party, tried to drag me by the arm, I stayed there. At that point though the girls started expressing they didn't want me there. In fact the friend that wasn't talking at all suddenly went into a long and elaborate speech about how they all have boyfriends are ready to get married, and I should go talk to some other girls. I waited for her to finish and then said: how much have you prepared this? it felt like you are saying it every night, and they bursted out laughing. Then there was a little more back and forth for few seconds telling me what I am even doing with a backpack clubbing like that, I said no I am not clubbing, could have said something more playful there, their uber came eventually and they left to go home, so I wished them good night and walked away.

It was interesting because I felt mostly unfazed by what they were throwing at me, I honestly couldn't take them seriously and felt they were silly and cute. My issue I suppose is I don't know how to run the interaction verbally when they initially are not much into me in order to turn the tables, that's something I should look into, because what happens a lot is I start thinking what would be the best way to respond and it can feel like I am getting into my head and really try to make the interaction work.

I think I am starting to get why guys like younger women too. I feel I am getting more interested myself in younger girls as well. At least the dynamic of being with a girl that feels so pure and expresses herself in such a cute and silly way seems quite fun, it's like they have a feminine energy that is not restrained by all the burdens life puts on them when they get older. And of course their bodies are nice, but I always saw that, I think I am starting to feel way more protective towards them in a sexual way.

I also think I am generally starting to be way more relaxed about having hot female friends. In a way I know there are so many hot women out there that having some you care about, playfully flirt with and connect, but don't have sex doesn't seem like an issue. Of course having some girls you sleep with through all that is important. I don't think I could do it if I stopped approaching and didn't have the possibility to bring new girls in my life. And also there are some girls that you just find very hot, that said I do feel that in the end I happen to meet so many similarly attractive girls outside, that I am fine with getting some and not getting some others.

I approached one girl in fact during the night without realising in the beginning that I had seen in a dancing event I had been. Tall, pretty, nice body, boobs and butt, I had thought inside the event that she was really hot and I'd love to get with her. When I stopped her, I stayed silent for few seconds looking at her, as I was processing whether it was really her or not, and this made the whole interaction a bit weird. Asked her if we had met, she said no, then told her she looked lovely, she said thanks laughing and that she had to go and kept walking. The thing I realised though as she was leaving was that if I had no previous idea who she was, this interaction wouldn't have meant anything at all. She was a cute looking girl like tons of others I have talked to throughout the day.

And this really puts things into perspective regarding the power of cold approach. Because in a closed environment 2-3 hot girls will really look like they are some sort of rare creatures that you have to do your best to capture. But when you go out, you realise they are more or less everywhere, and you can appreciate and even care for them without needing them. It is really a world full of beauty and as long as you are there truly seeing it, it will see you back.