Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Life situation

I've gotten myself a bit busy these weeks with some interviews and workshops/trainings/performances in other things I am doing. Not using it as an excuse to not approach, they simply came all together so I have less time for dates or approaching.

I also had one day when I got out to approach when I accidentally lost control and orgasmed before leaving the house, so I wasn't very much into a good state for seduction and the approaches fell flat. Good lesson to pay attention to, it has happened another time, and I generally take care not to do it, but I have been trying to edge myself and build some stamina. It can also energise me if I don't finish, but if I do it's not very good for approaching.

I also have to say that there are some ups and downs during the week regarding how I feel. Meaning that I can get days where I don't feel in a particular good mood, I may get a lot of rejections, and generally these two feed on each other. Lifestyle choices are important for this, I have noticed for example that even if I feel a bit grumpy, after some good dancing or socialising I will feel better.

This previous part is probably what I find most important about social circles, friends, and particularly hanging out with women that genuinely appreciate your company. It keeps your spirit more elevated and lets you go through the rest of your life with some sense of abundance, maybe not in the sexual way, but surely in the social and life satisfaction way.

Approaching and Game Concerns

Regarding the game part though, I can't say I am very satisfied with how I feel about it. It's not even the results, I probably had about 250 approaches last month, 7 dates and 2 times I had sex, so for one month it's not bad for me, one of the girls was also pretty young and cute so even quality wise it wasn't bad.

So it's more about how it all plays out. It feels like I approach, approach, approach and I am trying to find the one/two women who will be into me enough to exchange contacts, then enough to come out on a date, and eventually enough to sleep with me on that date.

It doesn't feel like I am doing anything impressive apart from putting in the numbers really. I suppose I could say that even the fact I can escalate with those girls to sex is something, but it doesn't feel like I am seducing them, more like they happen to be open and I simply allow them to exercise it.

It's also the fact that I rarely feel particularly excited by most women at this point. Even if I see one that is attractive, I will generally feel that I can find so many more like her, and it basically makes me feel that they are all interchangeable.

I approach and I know that there is nothing particularly important about this specific girl. If she is hotter and classier I may desire her more, but I can recognise that this is because I just like her more compared to our environment, and even if I get to sleep with her, I will be happy for my success momentarily but, it wouldn't matter to me that much what happens after that.

Then there are also the girls that I approach, are fairly receptive, but then don't respond to the messages and go nowhere with me, so I am struggling to even enjoy the interactions in the moment, because I can feel in the end they mean nothing, whether good or bad.

It's like rolling a dice all the time and waiting for it to give you a 6 during the approach, then a 6 during the date planning, and eventually a 6 during the date itself, so that you can get to sex and enjoy each other. And then doing it again and again till you find the next one.

I honestly don't know what to get out of all this. I surely know that I rarely approach any more because I am truly excited for the girl and the idea of being with her. I noticed it in a club I was too, I was seeing some hot girls, I could feel for one or two that it would be really nice to be able to have sex with them more than the others, but nothing beyond that, I didn't feel I'd bother to try and spend a long time gaming them really.

And it's exactly because even if I succeeded they would just be another sex partner, even if a very hot one, with no particular importance compared to anyone else after sex. Just someone that happened to like me, was ready for sex and we had it.

Not that this is bad in principle, it just makes all women that could make me hard almost the same in a way, like ok if it's not you it will be some next one, it doesn't matter really.

If anyone reads this I'd like to hear some thoughts. I won't stop approaching, I prefer having sex than not and I prefer it with hot women than not, but I'm not sure if that's enough.

 

[bobbyb112]

It doesn't feel like I am doing anything impressive apart from putting in the numbers really.

It's like rolling a dice all the time and waiting for it to give you a 6

It seems like, from a skill-buildling perspective, it all still feels pretty random. Sure, you're getting some results, but it feels like the results are more or less random, and therefore you just have to do a high volume of approaches to get the desired outcome (number, date, sex). It's kind of boring, because it's just like sitting at a slot machine, waiting for the few times when your random lever-pulling comes up a winner. You know it will, but it is kind of mindless in the meantime. Which is boring, and doesn't feel like you're learning anything.

You can start to look for smaller signals from the girl, things you do, how well they work. Make predictions in your head before you do them, and try to predict what will happen, within an interaction, as well as after the interaction. For example: Will this tease have a good reaction? Is this girl looking to meet a guy or will she be closed off? Will this girl text back based on the interaction or not? Will she come out on a date or no?

Making these predictions, and testing different things to change the outcomes, is what makes the game interesting. This is where the real fun of learning game, or any other skill, is. This is the addicting part. Changing your techniques and tactics, making predictions, and seeing if you can improve the overall results (positive interactions, numbers, dates, lays, etc).

I like this article talking about this:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/want-get-good-make-predictions-your-head

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It seems like, from a skill-buildling perspective, it all still feels pretty random. Sure, you're getting some results, but it feels like the results are more or less random, and therefore you just have to do a high volume of approaches to get the desired outcome (number, date, sex). It's kind of boring, because it's just like sitting at a slot machine, waiting for the few times when your random lever-pulling comes up a winner. You know it will, but it is kind of mindless in the meantime. Which is boring, and doesn't feel like you're learning anything.

You can start to look for smaller signals from the girl, things you do, how well they work. Make predictions in your head before you do them, and try to predict what will happen, within an interaction, as well as after the interaction. For example: Will this tease have a good reaction? Is this girl looking to meet a guy or will she be closed off? Will this girl text back based on the interaction or not? Will she come out on a date or no?

Making these predictions, and testing different things to change the outcomes, is what makes the game interesting. This is where the real fun of learning game, or any other skill, is. This is the addicting part. Changing your techniques and tactics, making predictions, and seeing if you can improve the overall results (positive interactions, numbers, dates, lays, etc).

I like this article talking about this:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/want-get-good-make-predictions-your-head

The thing I have been trying to do this in general. My issue is I really struggle to see the patterns.

What I mean is that I get girls responding well to my approach that will or won't come to meet me again, without any clear distinction between why one or the other happens. Literally last week I had 2-3 girls that felt fairly interested when I approached, happily agreed to meet again and gave me their numbers and then I got no response after the first icebreaker text.

Other girls have reacted to me in a similar way, and after a similar texting strategy have come out with me, quite easily. So I can't seem to understand if there is even anything I can do to change this randomness.

Same with which girls come to the date open for sex. It doesn't seem that how easily they agree to the date matters, it may be that they just want a friend or boyfriend, while others would enjoy some sexual action indeed.

After the date starts, things seem to be getting more clear. If the girl seems open to be sexual it will generally happen, if not it won't, but it still doesn't feel I am really seducing her, more that I am making the right moves to give her what she already wants.

But at least my predictions at this stage of seduction seem to be getting better, my main issue is with early interactions where no matter what I try, it seems to change mainly the reactions of the girls and not the results. I still remember some of my best approaching days with a great vibe, getting multiple numbers, but eventually not getting any more dates than I got from my worse days with very few numbers.

And it's a problem, because I am reaching the point that even if a girl responds well and seems excited, I can't feel much excited myself, since I feel her reaction means nothing until we get alone together.

So I fully agree with what you say, it feels that any technique I try is just a form of attention grabbing that in the end doesn't matter much, which makes me wonder which techniques in fact give the results, and what i should even be trying to improve.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It was quite a fun last week. I didn't get any particular action but I got more than 15 numbers daygaming, and a bunch of them did respond and seem they would be potential meets. The scheduling part is a bit difficult, because there are times that girls have different free evenings than me, so I will see how many eventual meetings I will manage to plan.

The reason I say it was fun though is because of the general interactions I had and the density of good ones. I don't think I approached more than 50-60 girls, so getting the number of 1 out of 4 is pretty good, especially when I approach without any IOIs and some girls happen to be in relationships too.

I was thinking if I did anything particularly different this week, and I honestly don't think that behaviour wise I changed a lot. Maybe some of my stops were a bit stronger, but I also had interactions that didn't feel that good too. The one thing I did do is that I had a haircut and cut my beard as well, so I was really wondering if this could have made such a difference.

Because it wasn't even just the numbers, a bunch of the interactions were weirdly positive.

I had a girl sitting at a bus stop talking to the phone, I approached and she instantly told to the person on the phone she will call later and focused on me completely. Then she told me via text she is very busy these days and doesn't have any time for a drink, but anyway, it was still an interesting interaction. I had another girl the same day in fact talking to the phone that I approached when we exited the same bus, and she instantly gave me her number showing that she was busy but we could catch up another time. This one did answer two three times and even told me she would like to meet but now she has been silent for two days after my date proposal. Really funny phone interactions though, in approaches I could have just skipped thinking they are busy.

I also had a girl in another bus stop that I approached, she was sitting at a bench, there was no place for me to sit so I was standing next to her, and at some point she stood up for no obvious reason since her bus wasn't coming yet. And I was thinking, is she autocomplying by making herself more uncomfortable to not feel that I am the only uncomfortable one standing? I have planned a date with this one for tomorrow, so we'll see.

I also had another girl walking fairly fast at night around my area that I stopped, we ended up being from the same country, and also felt particularly eager to meet. We couldn't really find a common free day with her after exchanging different options, so we said we'll see if we both feel like meeting tonight after we are finished with our stuff.

I also got the number of a girl that was speaking almost no english, used some google translate, she told me she has kids but no husband, so I wrote her: So we can flirt shamelessly. We talked about meeting maybe in 2 weeks due to our schedules, not even sure how this will work planning wise, but whatever, she answered to my text a bit earlier today, so she still feels into it.

To continue with the interesting approaches this one was a bit metaphysical. Yesterday morning I saw the whatsapp story of a girl I had approached more than a year ago and never got out. On it she was with two friends, and looking at them I felt that I liked one of her friends more. Later that day I was walking in the city and saw two classy looking girls walking and window-shopping. And as I approached them I realised it was that girl I had the number of, with that friend I liked more. Funny thing is that the girl I had approached in the past felt quite worse after a bunch of plastic surgeries on her face, while the other one was more natural.

I opened them recognising that they are window-shopping, and they told me: yeah maybe you can buy us something. I told them, maybe they can buy me, there are these lovely heels there, very classy, but not too high, I think I'd walk them perfectly. Then I got told that it's not how it works, the guy is the one who buys things, so I said ah in my experience it's the opposite, girls always buy me things, what to do.

There was a small silence there, so I expressed my interest to the friend, and after some basic chit chat we started walking together the three of us, we exchanged some information, I felt that the girl I had approached in the past was the more testy one, but it was smooth, I was keeping some silences too, like I was a natural part of the group. At some point they said they'd stop and take a tram from a stop we were passing, so I said to the friend before you go, I'd like to see you again, and she was like sure why not. I asked for her number, she gave me her business card with it, joked that this was too professional, saw she was an actress, I told her that's interesting I am kind of one myself maybe she will be useful, she said we could talk about business too, and I said yeah that's not really my point of talking to you really, let's take care of the chill stuff first. She did answer my icebreaker, so who knows. It's not even that she is some incredibly good-looking one, but it was still interesting how it worked out after seeing her in the morning and thinking yeah I'd go for her.

And after that, inside the main train station, I approached with a lot of positive energy a girl that looked very classy, and she responded with my name... I asked her if we had met, and she told me I talked to her and complimented her some time ago, and then I said sure if you looked like this I would have done it, and I do remember now. Then she said how they say that you sometimes may meet twice, and I said that yeah it's fate sometimes it brings you together.

I then asked few questions about how she has been and what she is up to to build some connection, because honestly she was looking me with dreamy eyes like the whole universe was giving her a sign we are made for each other. I asked about her number, she told me I have it and went to our whatsapp chat and sent me a text to reignite the conversation. I told her this week is busy for me but we can keep in touch and catch up, and she said, yeah text me at whatsapp, I'm available. I did text her later, realised she had flaked on me in the past, but I do feel there is a huge chance she will come out now.

I'd say the worst thing through all this is managing all these numbers, and somehow finding time to allocate for each one of the girls, at least it is a good problem to have. Not that they will all come out eventually, who knows, maybe I will sleep with none of them, it wouldn't really surprise me too much, as I have said before, until we really get together it is not over.

It was still a good time though, and I didn't even allocate a lot of time going around to approach. A number of these girls were ones I caught going around for every day tasks. And even when allocating more time, it is good to be having some nice results during it, especially when they are in a variety of scenarios: walking girl, sitting girl, standing girl, girl with phone, girl with earbuds, girl with a friend. Although I know validation has to be internal, I can't lie that it does feel good if a bunch of interactions go well.

I also approached three really young and beautiful girls outside a club at night. That was an interesting one because I was walking around the area with a backpack since I was outside earlier for some other reason, so my whole vibe was totally off with the 2am nightclub one, but thought who cares.

These girls were 9s at least, very beautiful faces, thin and tall, and the funny thing is I treated them as silly and cute by default. I mean I approached one of them I liked more and focused on her mostly. Then there was another guy that came in asking for her number and her friends number. I felt some anxiety in my body and some fight or flight feeling, but I stayed in being generally chill, trying to make it feel like he was weird for jumping in. My girl had told me she was 2 when I asked her age, and when the guy came in I kinda mentioned it, and he went like yeah I'm into that, so I said ok not my problem, making a face showing how strange that was. When he tried to take the friend's number I told my girl that he really doesn't care and would sleep with any of them, and my girl told me: Wouldn't you?, and I told her: Do you see me talking to your friends or to you?

After some seconds another guy came in with a lot of energy kinda inviting them to another party, he basically side hugged me, I did it back, gave him a compliment, then he was like let's go to the party, tried to drag me by the arm, I stayed there. At that point though the girls started expressing they didn't want me there. In fact the friend that wasn't talking at all suddenly went into a long and elaborate speech about how they all have boyfriends are ready to get married, and I should go talk to some other girls. I waited for her to finish and then said: how much have you prepared this? it felt like you are saying it every night, and they bursted out laughing. Then there was a little more back and forth for few seconds telling me what I am even doing with a backpack clubbing like that, I said no I am not clubbing, could have said something more playful there, their uber came eventually and they left to go home, so I wished them good night and walked away.

It was interesting because I felt mostly unfazed by what they were throwing at me, I honestly couldn't take them seriously and felt they were silly and cute. My issue I suppose is I don't know how to run the interaction verbally when they initially are not much into me in order to turn the tables, that's something I should look into, because what happens a lot is I start thinking what would be the best way to respond and it can feel like I am getting into my head and really try to make the interaction work.

I think I am starting to get why guys like younger women too. I feel I am getting more interested myself in younger girls as well. At least the dynamic of being with a girl that feels so pure and expresses herself in such a cute and silly way seems quite fun, it's like they have a feminine energy that is not restrained by all the burdens life puts on them when they get older. And of course their bodies are nice, but I always saw that, I think I am starting to feel way more protective towards them in a sexual way.

I also think I am generally starting to be way more relaxed about having hot female friends. In a way I know there are so many hot women out there that having some you care about, playfully flirt with and connect, but don't have sex doesn't seem like an issue. Of course having some girls you sleep with through all that is important. I don't think I could do it if I stopped approaching and didn't have the possibility to bring new girls in my life. And also there are some girls that you just find very hot, that said I do feel that in the end I happen to meet so many similarly attractive girls outside, that I am fine with getting some and not getting some others.

I approached one girl in fact during the night without realising in the beginning that I had seen in a dancing event I had been. Tall, pretty, nice body, boobs and butt, I had thought inside the event that she was really hot and I'd love to get with her. When I stopped her, I stayed silent for few seconds looking at her, as I was processing whether it was really her or not, and this made the whole interaction a bit weird. Asked her if we had met, she said no, then told her she looked lovely, she said thanks laughing and that she had to go and kept walking. The thing I realised though as she was leaving was that if I had no previous idea who she was, this interaction wouldn't have meant anything at all. She was a cute looking girl like tons of others I have talked to throughout the day.

And this really puts things into perspective regarding the power of cold approach. Because in a closed environment 2-3 hot girls will really look like they are some sort of rare creatures that you have to do your best to capture. But when you go out, you realise they are more or less everywhere, and you can appreciate and even care for them without needing them. It is really a world full of beauty and as long as you are there truly seeing it, it will see you back.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

General life situation and thoughts

This last week was quite busy mentally and physically.

With mentally I mostly mean that I had some interview rejections which affected me, so on some days I really wasn't feeling it. I had a date I will discuss further down, and when I was getting ready for it, I could feel probably the least excited I've been for a date in a long time.

Good thing is that I had some good news about other positions towards the end of the week, so my mood got fairly fixed, and we'll see how it goes. It's a good lesson though, because I have to realise that no matter how crucial it is to find a job this summer, it's not the end of the world even if it doesn't happen. A bit difficult when you see no options in the moment, but no matter how it looks now, there are always opportunities and ways to go about it. Saying it to myself in case I get bad news again, that in the end it will be fine, I will survive somehow, and there are many ways to get wherever eventually want to.

Apart from that, I had a dance competition this weekend, so spent basically all of it in a huge hall with hunderds of people either dancing or looking at them dance and then going home to rest a bit for the next day. I also trained a bit the days before that, and eventually didn't approach much during the week. Still got about 5 numbers maybe, but didn't feel that strong.

The good thing is that the event was nice, had never competed before, was in the lowest category in the first part and reached the final, so it was a good result, judging I had decided to only stick to the basics and do them well.

Regarding seduction it got me thinking some things too. Firstly, for some reason I felt that the girls I would have wanted to sleep more were either judges or very good dancers from the highest categories. I mean of course I found them hot too, but there is something about successful and talented women that makes it work for me sexually. It is a different question though how you would be able to do it as a low level dancer in this environment, I feel it should be in a way that the skill itself is not involved much.

This is one reason I like cold approaching a lot by the way. I feel it is easier to sleep with women that are hot and successful outside of the circle where they are successful and have a lot of status. It makes me think sometimes how much you even need to be successful yourself, and this is something I have not figured out exactly. I suppose being attractive and sexy doesn't need you to have any credentials, and you can use frame control to seduce, it probably does help a bit though to be great at something even if it is only for your inner game.

Thoughts on my approaching recordings

Regarding my approaches, as I said not that many, still though it is positive I got some nice interactions and contacts through all this. I also recorded myself for the first time during a session. I used a recorder with a microphone attached inside my shirt and it worked fairly well.

That day I recorded was also not a a very bad day, but also not very good regarding my mood, an average day I would say. So it was a good chance to check how I sound and listening to the approaches the first thing I felt is that they didn't sound as bad as I had feared.

I did notice few things though. One is I am using a lot of filler words like: like, well, so. I know the reason I am doing this is sometimes to not let the interaction get to a total silence, because I feel if it happens in the first moments, the girl will just excuse herself and leave. I also felt that it somehow makes the interaction more human, and I don't look super smooth which could be intimidating. But I don't think that any of these make sense. If the girl wants to leave, trying to extend the phrases and not leave conversational gaps in this way will not help, and also hotter and more socially adept women would also enjoy me being a better communicator leaving the right pauses and talking with more conviction. I have it in my mind to reduce it.

The other thing I felt is that generally the way I talk, although my voice is fairly deep, seems like it is a bit out of energy. Not sure how to explain it exactly, I think I take short breaths in my lungs that don't go all the way to the belly, and the voice feels like it comes out and then at the end of the word there is a sharp ending. This is more about relaxing in the moment taking my time to have full breaths and not try to rush the conversation, not only in terms of speed, but also in terms of non grounded-ness. It felt that the way I speak is not so grounded a lot of times, but more up there at the throat.

And connected to this previous part, it did feel sometimes that this lack of energy felt like asking for permission or coming from a low value frame. I know I tend to do this deliberately if I am going for an inconvenient stop for example to show I am not just trying to bulldoze her, but it also happens when I am in low momentum and mood, and basically my approaches feel weak, like I am really happy to talk to the girl, but in a needy way. I understand how this should sound, and as I said the main things affecting it is how virile, in great spirit I feel and sure of myself during the approach I feel, and these can fluctuate. But apart from keeping myself in a good state day to day by how I take care of myself, I should have it in my mind, that women want someone who is certain of what he goes for.

I think I sometimes have this issue in later stages of seduction too, and it's funny because generally I can be pretty bold, I am not afraid to do it, but I have lost women and have had bad reactions by pushing too hard too early. So I am trying to find ways to still move things forward but more smoothly and taking into account the pace the girl is comfortable with, I do feel that sometimes though I lack the killer instinct and going for the result hard.

This is something I had more in the past, and i can notice it because I would way more easily push to get a girl home from the first date location, or from the train or the street, I was very much about ok we talked a bit, let's go home. I suppose it's a part of learning how to calibrate, I do wonder though, what really is effective and what I should be going for regarding the desired speed of the seduction.

Date

And here I will connect it with the date I had. Cute girl, came dressed very casually, told me she had an important presentation at work that morning, so she was quite stressed the previous days and fairly tired. She did have a nice energy though and I could feel she liked me.

We sat at the usual open air bar I am taking them, there was a bunch of touching from my side, some from hers, we connected, deep dived, she seemed to really be into me, our drinks were over so I made a weak attempt to invite her home and she said let's do that next time and have another drink now. Now I say weak, because I could feel she probably wasn't at that place yet, but I wanted to mention it casually to see her reaction.

After that we got a bit into what kind of guy/girl we like. I never mentioned anything about sex explicitly, so it's probable I painted myself as too much of a boyfriend, and I could have stated something like I love when we coonnect well and have great sexual chemistry. I had mentioned earlier things about living in the moment, talked about being adventurous and spontaneous, and generally my plan in my last days has been to talk about sex as little as possible to see if I can reduce ASD, and take them home seamlessly with my indirect frame setting and sexual vibe. It has worked with other girls, not sure if it is the best way to go about it though, maybe mentioning sex a bit as a bait and seeing how she reacts and responds to it is a good thing to have in mind. Because if she is receptive it is a good chance to set some good frames without going overboard.

Anyway, we walked from the bar, went to a spot with a nice view I am usually taking them, gave a kiss, then we walked back and we passed from my place since we were walking the same way, told her the door is open, she told me another time, we gave another kiss and she left. All the kisses, maybe 4-5 at most during the date were short and only with lips, I was trying to check how she is responding to them, and generally I wanted to not give her too much, but mostly just a taste and a tease.

After the date she almost instantly sent a message thanking me and saying she enjoyed the time a lot. I responded saying I enjoyed too, then she took 3-4 to write back she had lost her voice and wishing me fun for the competition, and now she hasn't replied to my next message yet.

The thing is I guess I could go for a second date and try to move things forward, it felt like the first one was good, but I am still not satisfied. It feels like I just had a date that led nowhere, and now I have to go to another one to see if I can sleep with her. And if she is not ready again, then what, another one?

Thoughts on dating

I started not fully pressuring things for the first date because I was thinking maybe some girls are not ready and need more time, but now I am wondering if this more time is something I even want myself. I think I really prefer doing my best to sleep with the girl on the first day and burning it down completely, compared to letting her leave even with a good impression, but then having to spend that much time again trying to take her to bed on the second date, when I could do the same with a new one.

My thinking process is that probably the new one will be easier to sleep with on the first date than the old will be on the second, because the one on the second date may even try to take things slowly, since now we already have an experience of going out together but not sleeping together.

Also I really still feel like I am giving false hopes to women I don't sleep on the first date with but go out again, that this may lead to something more. I know that it most probably won't but it feels off to just tell a girl on the first date that no I am not looking for anything serious, just fun, or that I am dating around and have many girls I see but I don't want to get exclusive.

I feel it is a bit of a moral and practical dilemma. How clear should I be that I am not looking for a relationship if I want quick sex? Should I try to go full lover and set frames of me not being monogamous or exclusive, or does it make sense to approach it more like dating and seeing how we vibe and enjoy each other as the time goes. I usually say something along the lines of this last sentence, but almost every time afterwards I regret it, since I really feel that the possibility we will meet again and again and have something more develop is almost zero.

Even time wise, right now I have 2-3 dates planned for this week with other girls, who knows how next weeks will be and how many busy days I will have too. Just meeting a girl a second time feels difficult and not exciting enough to plan, I can't imagine meeting her again and again, when I can always use these same days to meet new ones.

I don't know how all this sounds, I'd like some third opinion regarding it because I am really not sure if something is very wrong in the way I see it. Basically I started being fine with going to second dates to maximise the possibility of the lay, but now I am thinking I may just not be sexual enough and end up spending more time on girls that either will sleep with me too slowly for me to even bother or will hope for more that I know I won't give them.

Someone could ask, wouldn't I get into a relationship no matter which girl I found right now? I was thinking about that, and the answer is probably no, mostly because I don't see the point of investing that much time in a girl at this point of my life at least. Even if it was some sort of one-sided monogamy, it would still probably frustrate me that I have to come back home and take care of her emotions.

Anyway it is something that has been bothering me, I do love all these women I go out with, I would love to sleep with them, I wouldn't mind sleeping with them more, maybe also spend some time at bed together, talk a bit and eat something, but then go to our days and maybe meet again another time or not. It seems that for me somehow after the first time we sleep together I feel complete, and whether it happens again doesn't even matter much. If it is convenient why not, but if not there are so many other girls to explore.

For now I have a date tomorrow. I think the frame I will stick with for now is the great connection and chemistry together with amazing sex. Because it is what I would truly enjoy. And regarding dating, maybe meeting women and if we enjoy our time together we can meet again is what I should have in mind.

 

[gameboy]

Regarding the girl from the date: I believe youre still overthinking it. The question of a relationship doesnt even come up until you fucked her 3 or 5 times, or more. And if you decide to only do it once with this one then it will never come up. But you wont even get to the point of making that decision until you fucked her at least once .. am I making sense?

She even told you "lets do that next time" so she basically gave you a green light. Would be a pity to waste that. Probably she just doesnt want to appear too easy. You can always ask her after sex if you really want to know.

If you dont feel like wasting time taking her out again, you could even try inviting her directly to your place for d2. Not something I've done before (or maybe I don't remember it now off the top of my head), but I've seen it mentioned here and on GC a lot so I'm sure it can work. Should also be a good filter for the not-dtf ones.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Regarding the girl from the date: I believe youre still overthinking it. The question of a relationship doesnt even come up until you fucked her 3 or 5 times, or more. And if you decide to only do it once with this one then it will never come up. But you wont even get to the point of making that decision until you fucked her at least once .. am I making sense?

She even told you "lets do that next time" so she basically gave you a green light. Would be a pity to waste that. Probably she just doesnt want to appear too easy. You can always ask her after sex if you really want to know.

If you dont feel like wasting time taking her out again, you could even try inviting her directly to your place for d2. Not something I've done before, but I've seen it mentioned here and on GC a lot so I'm sure it can work. Should also be a good filter for the not-dtf ones.

Yeah I get what you mean. Will probably try to meet her again, I just feel that the more dates happen without sleeping together the less probable it is and also the less excited I am about it.

It is also an issue of what to do next time indeed. I mean ok we had a drink, should we go have some food or another drink? I honestly feel that the whole second date will just be something to do until I invite her home again. I mean what other frames could I set, my cards are on the table already, unless I really go the route of more sex talk, which I am afraid may cause her to resist to it more.

Maybe it makes sense to invite her over and if she says no let's meet outside, to just go for another drink and then try to pull. And if it doesn't work, just forget about her. I feel it may get too obvious that the main point of meeting again is to eventually have sex, and not sure how she will take that but it's probably the best bet.

And in fact the two times I brought a girl home directly for a second date we didn't sleep together, but whatever probably doesn't hurt to try again.

 

[AspiringStoic]

@ChrisXKiss

In relation to your Thoughts on Dating bit:

To be honest, I would not worry about that unless you have 4-5 girls who you have slept with obssessed with you and desperately hounding you for a relationship and you having to tell them to stop being so obssessed with you.

This is the still slim guy worrying about becoming "too big and too muscular" accidently if he just went to the gym regularly thing.

Its fucking really really hard to become too muscular and in the same way really hard to get to a stage where you are such a pimp/player where girls are chasing you like crazy.

Reality is even after you sleep with them, most of them will fall off and only a few might want to continue seeing you.

You will definitely be heart broken more often than you will be breaking girls' hearts.

You can worry about it when (if) you get there. Till then just do your thing and try to sleep with the girls you want to sleep with.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Reality is even after you sleep with them, most of them will fall off and only a few might want to continue seeing you.

This is relaxing in a way. Maybe I really should focus way less on taking care of their emotions. I don't know if I am delusional or anything, it just feels normal for me that if we get together they will want to see me again more than I will want to see them again.

At least I haven't had a girl that I have been sexual with that I really wanted to meet again yet. Not sure if this means anything or it is totally random that it hasn't happened.

2 flakes today by the way. One with the girl I had the date planned, another with a girl from online that was staying in the city for a day and we planned earlier today to meet.

Honestly it is mostly frustrating not for the rejection but because of the allocated time for the date and the change of schedule that has to happen.

Anyway, one girl comes, one goes, the world never runs out of them.