Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

I'll start by the general and then get to the specific. Although I have been getting some lays lately, I still don't find particularly satisfied.

I feel that one reason is that my approaching lately has not been that effective, and the other reason is that I would still want hotter women than the ones I get.

Approaching

Since I started my new job at the beginning of the month I haven't been putting in big numbers. I still approach here and there as I go by my day, but I can surely feel that the volume should increase if I want to have and feel the abundance.

The reason is that these few approaches per day make me feel like they are very important, since they seem to be the only chances I have to meet women.

And the situations they happen in are not optimal either. I mostly have the chance to approach while going to and from work, which means around stations or inside public transport with people.

I have noticed that when i don't have a lot of momentum such kinds of approaches can feel difficult and it is probably reflected in my vibe as well.

Which is also affected by the fact that early in the morning or right after work I don't have the proper energy or I am not in the right headspace to approach effectively.

However I still think I should just ping and open women no matter whether I see them sitting in the bus when I get in or talking to the phone while waiting at the station. I know that the worst that can happen is they will not want to talk, and I should just be totally fine with it and still approach for the practice.

I should also be approaching more during other times of the week, and the issue is that I have made a schedule, but right now my approach sessions of the weekend have been put during nighttime which complicates things.

That's because i haven't been nightgaming properly for a long time, I am not in the mood to be paying entrance in clubs, and I feel that I don't get particularly excited by the vibe and the social aspect of most nightgame venues lately.

I really prefer walking around at night in the city checking if I can meet girls like that, and in fact I have had some success getting numbers that led somewhere or instant dates in that way.

This weekend I didn't do it though, got lazy to be honest, and I believe I should start looking at it as something I go out and do, not to get a result particularly, but more to be out, enjoy the night and what it could bring.

What is more, it would be valuable to get some more approaches daygaming, so I should get every chance I have when I am outside to approach.

And if I go back home from work first and then go out it gets later and less people are walking around, so I should really push through this afterwork energy and approach no matter what. I do know that after few of them normally I get in more of a flow anyway, and if it really is a bad day, I can always home relax and try my luck outside later.

Hotness

One thing I still do consistently though is I generally approach girls when I find them particularly attractive. They usually give me this feeling that no matter my state I don't want to miss my chance with them so I do it.

It's not that I get a lot of results with them though, and when the general number of approaches I do is not big, it is easy to get some of these rejections exaggerated in my mind.

That said it really does feel sometimes that there is a limit to the attractiveness of the girls I get, and I don't think i really treat them that differently at this point, a lot of the rejections also happen pretty fast with the girls uninterested to interact with me from the get go.

Out of them a significant part consists of very young girls, to the point I almost expect sometimes to get the look of being an old weirdo hitting on them. Which I don't mind in principle, but it's not particularly fun after a point either.

Maybe it's also created by me in some way though, because to be honest sometimes the only thing I see in them that I like is a cute face and a cute body I would fuck, but the rest of the way they present themselves gives me no motivation to approach. Which brings up the question of how I should frame it in my mind, maybe the thought of whether they can be playful and sensual enough to be able to keep up with my intensity could be one.

It's not only them though, because even the girls that are a bit older or I see something in them that I like apart from pure looks, I don't have much success with either. I can say they are usually more polite, but still not much beyond that, and it doesn't seem to be very related to the way I approach.

I also get the feeling sometimes that in the past I was getting dates and going out with hotter women, but this can also be a case of me being so much more accustomed to beauty now that the women I considered very attractive back then I wouldn't be that crazy for at this point.

So I don't want to be negative, things are improving and a goal of mine was to be able to get women first, before being able to get the women I want, it makes me wonder sometimes though that if all women are attracted to similar masculine traits, there should be at least some hot ones very attracted to me, the same way there are some not so hot ones very attracted to me.

For now regarding this I will keep going, approaching girls the same regardless their looks, and then taking it from there. It's not that I go out with hideous monsters anyway, the girls I meet are generally cute and make me particularly hard, that said it's not like I regularly go out with models either, which is something I would like to eventually change.

Specific girls

1)

I'll keep it short this time about that girl that had left me on read after sex when I proposed to meet again. I sent her yesterday ( almost 1.5 week after the previous message ) a picture of a park I was in writing: "Such a beautiful day ". Regarding the heart, I was in a good mood at that moment and felt it would make the message less sterile.

Anyway , she read it yesterday, but not response.

So I think my next move will be to send her a voice message about 2 weeks from now. Not that I hope about anything, I just want to give it another go, because it simply feels strange to me that she is not even responding, when she seemed to like me quite a lot before sex.

I feel the biggest reason that I am thinking about her is this feeling that although she liked me, I managed to disappoint her somehow. It is what it is though, if she wants nothing to do with me, I won't stay around expecting her to do so.

2)

The other girl that I had met at night for an instant date last week made it a bit complicated for me. We had planned to meet on Thursday, then she told me she wants to see a house she may rent so she is not sure. I told her to take care of that and we meet another time. Then few days later I sent her a message again asking her how it went, and saying that this week I should have time. She said she would have time too and we can meet again, I asked her for Tuesday or Wednesday, she responded with a voice message saying she can't because she is moving and also not on Thursday because she is working, so I told her this week I could make it work towards the weekend too, for example Friday. She listened to that last voice message, but hasn't responded yet.

So it is getting a bit frustrating, because on one hand she says she wants to meet, on the other she just can't meet or is unsure about all the days I propose, which makes me wonder if she really wants to meet or not. I will play it even more cool from now on if she evades meeting this week too, may even send her a ball in her court message, don't know yet, I'll see how it goes.

3)

There is one other girl that is quite pretty in fact ( in the beautiful range that I mentioned above I don't usually get ), I got her number from a cold approach and she wanted to meet during the lunchtime break from work around my area. I am planning to do it this Thursday, although I don't expect much, because in these kind of short informational dates I never had much success, but whatever, better spend some time with an attractive girl than alone.

4)

And also another girl, she told me she could meet this Thursday, I asked her about 19:30, she said it works, then I proposed to meet in the station where we met, saying there are some cute places nearby. She said: Really , Do you live there? And I responded: Yes, I know them . She has read it but hasn't said anything after that, so I am not even sure if the date is planned or not. I will give her a day at least, and then I am thinking of a non try hard way to ping her before the day of the date( I have already used the: don't forget to tell me what you think of the idea, so don't want to use that again ).

Not sure if it even makes sense to assume the date and just text her the same day where to meet exactly. I was thinking of maybe sending something like a photo one night before as a ping, or maybe I will just ask her to meet half an hour later assuming that the date is still on. Would take recommendations on that.

5)

Last but not least, I did have another lay. The older woman from last Sunday, we met twice this week in fact.

The first time we went for a drink, walked around, then I brought her back home. She was nervous from the beginning, she was telling me that she was thinking about the age gap and what she didn't want was me having sex with her and then dumping her. Back at my place she was telling me how unsure she was, and then we just stayed there and talked, she got pretty emotional and told me about all her reservations, I told her it is fine and we don't need to do anything, and I explained that for me if we enjoy each other I'd like to see her again, I won't just disappear. We lied there in bed, hugging her, we were talking about sex a bit, there was quite some tension, and then she wanted to go so I walked her home.

She texted me again after a day or two to meet yesterday, asking if I'd like to see her place. I agreed, we met there, went up her place first, then she took me for a walk up at a hill with a nice view, she had brought some wine and snacks, so we also stayed there for some time to drink together. She was still unsure, we discussed a bit more, maybe I also could have finished the discussion faster, but I wanted to be clear about our expectations so as not to hurt her. I talked about how I am in a exploratory phase my self, and I feel that Iwant to be able to talk and flirt with an attractive woman when I see her. We had an understanding, then went back to her place.

It was interesting because her 20 year old son lives in the apartment in a different room, we spent our time in her room though. She brought some food she had made so we also ate together, and then we talked a bit more, and by the end we got clear about the fact that there is no expectation of how this will go, if we enjoy each other we will want to meet again, and that it is not exclusive and we are free to see other people. She was surprisingly understanding of all this, telling me that I am a young guy and of course I want to meet other women, and as long as we are present and I find time to meet her it is fine.

Then we started kissing, and slowly but steadily we went to sex. I gave her a pretty intense orgasm with my mouth, and then I penetrated not lasting much for the first round, but I got hard pretty fast again. So we got into some more sexual acts, and then I penetrated again lasting more. After that we rested together for a bit and then I went home.

The interesting thing is how much she enjoyed it. She was telling me I am fire, and that I am amazing, and of course I should meet more women, because it would be unfair to only give this pleasure to one woman. And she is not some totally sex deprived woman, she told me she has been with a number of men herself, and she has done quite some tantra in her life ( she has a pretty high title as a buddhist monk in fact ), so it was really interesting to see how amazed she was by my sexual prowess. Even today in the texts we exchanged after that night she told me she was tired, but it was worth it, because I am an amazing lover.

Not gonna lie, these are good things to hear, and a bit funny too if I consider the times someone would probably have said the opposite. I guess it is about growing though, learning the lessons, and eventually becoming more present and more impactful.

I feel I will see her again, she has a nice energy, really seems to be into me, and is quite a sexual woman too. Hope she won't totally drain me though for the other girls out there.

PS Didn't mention it last week, but I have already been with more women in 2025 than the whole 2024, and we still have 1/3 of the year. I consider this actual progress and I can also feel that certain things are becoming more natural.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

No lay this week but I will unravel some thoughts and experiences.

General

First of all something not game related directly, is that I realised I am really tight financially. I guess I could do better if I stopped doing certain hobbies, but then I think it wouldn't be very sustainable to not have this social aspect as well in my life.

Anyway, I will survive, it's just that paying the entrance for a club or having a drink or two are things I would think twice before doing regularly. The good thing is that game is free more or less, and I never really spent that much.

I want to do fairly well at work to get some higher-paying permanent position as fast as possible. I'll probably need 6 months at least but it should be possible.

I had my first presentation in fact and it seems that people were pretty satisfied, I worked some extra hours, but it was worth it. For this reason I lost one two days that I could use for approaches, still found time for some though.

Approaches

1)

I had one to a girl that was running, stopped her with a compliment and she looked pretty excited to talk to me. She stayed there for a bit, it was a good vibe, I was teasing her and she was laughing, we exchanged numbers, but she didn't answer to my icebreaker and didn't even receive the next text.

Quite cute girl, even seemed a bit compliant, but it could be that she was in a highly excited state, enjoyed the convo but didn't feel like she wanted anything more after that. I for sure could have had some more masculine energy, sometimes when I get more playful I feel I lose it, so I should look into that.

2)

Also talked with another girl later, that was an 18 year old that told me she had left her house after fighting with her parents and was leaving in the streets or something. Quite a strange one, but in the way that she seemed to truly appreciate someone that saw and liked her for who she was.

I should have pushed for more with her then and there, maybe grabing a drink and chilling somewhere, I think this would have been a higher percentage play compared to the number close I did. She even told me she doesn't communicate much with her phone so it didn't even make much sense that I didn't try to lead it all the way then and there.

I think my main issue was that I was away from my place, and I still haven't found good enough spots for public sex in the city. Honestly I feel this would help a lot when downtown, for a situation like this one, when you feel that it would be better to go with someone nearby and close there.

If anyone has ideas on where to go for sex in the middle of the city at night, I would love them. I have checked areas like parks, or river banks, some of course are fairly empty when late, but also fairly visible so I don't know how secluded and hidden I should go for when it comes to a sex spot, or if just a darker spot in some park is fine no matter whether people walk by, not far from there.

3)

Had another approach yesterday, girl waiting for a tram in a classy dress, I was taking the same and opened with a comment about how elegant she looked and feeling like she is coming from a gala. She wasn't unreceptive, and was laughing quite a bit, but I was getting the feeling that her reactions were a bit more towards the awkward and uncomfortable vibe, compared to the excited and enjoying it one.

I didn't have a lot of choices since we only had few stations before I got down, so when we entered and she sat down, I sat at the only obvious free seat next to her, trying to give her some space and keeping it light to not overwhelm her. Don't think I managed well though, because when I proposed we meet again she wanted me to give her my phone, which I did fully knowing what it means.

I simply felt that I didn't want to push her to give hers, maybe it would have worked who knows, but I have decided when this happens to just let it be. The thing I could have done differently is not mention towards the end that I'll be here and should have some free time the next days so we could catch up if she is around. I think it feels a bit like chasing when she only has your number, and being as chill as possible not even mentioning again going out together is better.

Few more approaches that were not significant. I should increase the volume, that said at least having some that respond positively is a great motivator to keep going. And although the girl I had met at night and made out at the instant date kept dodging my invites to the point I stopped responding to her, I did go to few interesting dates.

Dates

1)

I met that pretty girl I was talking about last time in the middle of the day for lunch break. It was a disaster.

I got in a meeting for my job that I thought I would be able to leave early, then I wanted to talk about some more things, so I ended up being 10 minutes late to the place we agreed to meet.

I went as fast as I could, arrived, immediately apologised, sat down with my food and then she started.

Basically telling me that I am late an I could have let her know. I told her that yes I understand, I thought I would have been able to make it faster but got into a meeting and didn't realise it. She then told me how she is also busy and could have caught up with some work herself. I again told her I know, and I wanted to text but when I opened the phone I saw she had sent she was already there so there was no point.

I was trying to defuse it, but she wasn't in a good mood at all and she wouldn't stop going about it, so at some point I suddenly got a serious face and with firm tone I told her: "Isn't sorry good enough for you or what do you want?" She said: "Nothing". So I said: "Good".

After that I tried to get a bit more positive and playful telling her to leave all this behind us, but I am pretty sure it was over at that moment. She was very closed off for the rest half an hour, wasn't responding well to any teases or playful conversation, and wasn't even contributing that much herself.

I did another mistake because by the end I was just self amusing too much, to the point that it probably felt I was trolling her. For example she said she was taking tae kwon do classes because I asked about a korean tattoo she had. I told her playfully that she likes beating people up, she told me no it is for self defence, so I said yeah I know, it is good to have someone to protect you. She said she protects herself, so I told her "no, I mean you protecting me, now I know what I am gonna do if someone attacks us here, run and hide behind you".

Anyway the vibe wasn't there at all for this type of stuff and I think it aggravated her even more. In the end I had to go somewhere else, so I proposed leaving, she gave me the most "I hope I never see you again" handshake ever, and blocked my number a day later. I was planning to send her that she felt closed to me and that I didn't know how it could work between us in that way, but she was faster.

Now surprisingly, I don't feel that bad about this one. I honestly felt she was taking it a bit too far in the beginning, I don't know if these 10 minutes were really so important to her, but no matter what I would expect someone after a polite apology and another comment to move on from the subject. She started annoying me and I am happy I showed it, I clearly focused more on how this made me feel compared to making the beautiful girl feel good to my expense. That said I could have done it in a smoother more relaxed way, telling her more kindly that this is over and it is better to move on.

I thought of this for a second when I responded to her in fact, but then felt that this girl is not gonna stop with something like this, so I went all serious. The problem is that the way I eventually said it had the energy of: You are annoying me, so shut it, understand?, and I've been told I can be pretty scary when I take that look. I don't expect anyone that is not low self esteem to receive that and be fine with it.

So inviting the person in a kind way first to stop the behaviour is a lesson to take home. And then if they don't stop, being more firm without losing your temper and removing yourself from the situation if they don't collaborate.

Also I should pay attention to not tease and be totally unserious if the vibe is not there and the girl is just not buying it. It's better to connect with her, build similarity and let her open up. Not that I believe I had much hope to turn things around here, but it is something good to remember in general, because I do have this tendency sometimes to double down on something that is going bad as a sort of ego protection by trying to make my initial approach work and not accept rejection.

At least my first thought when I saw her sitting down was that she wasn't as beautiful as I remembered, so all good.

2)

Same day in the evening I met with another girl. This was good in fact because I was able to disassociate myself from that lunch date fast. I also had that big presentation the following day so I was really busy and needed some good time.

And I got it, that girl was so sweet. Very elegant as well, working in banking, mid 20s, introverted, she had this kind of super classy and externally cold but internally warm and feminine energy that I love.

We went at the open air bar close to my place, she was quite receptive to my touches, but keeping a distance, and I could feel she liked me. Always nice to experience it by such a cute a well put girl. She was quite a bit into luxury, first time we met she was going to a car show, and she was very into having ambition and becoming financially successful.

Also I could feel that she was the type looking for a relationship and a great candidate for boyfriend and maybe more, at least from how she was talking about it, I was feeling that it would be a very difficult first date lay, but I was enjoying her quite a bit.

After finishing our drinks I took her up at a place with good view, we were coming a bit closer, not too much still though, so I wanted to maximise my chances and I decided to invite her home and escalate there. I told her about the sweets from my homecountry ( sadly they are done so I have to find a new plausible deniability ) and she agreed to come.

As we were walking she did say that it was going late and she should probably go home, but I told her we were there already and that we would go up only for a bit. She agreed and we did.

In my place after going to the bathroom she asked me about the three/four toothbrushes I have, I joked that they are for my different girls, and then defused it saying they are for my parents when they visit, because I really felt she believed I was a big player. At least I was quite playful during the date, and without really disqualifying myself as a boyfriend actively, it wasn't the serious kind of courtship that she was probably more used to.

We sat together at the couch to have the sweet, talked for a bit, asked about the tastes she likes and then went for a kiss. She kissed me then went for a second before pulling away, realised she was pulling away already so I brought her in quickly for the second one and then broke it off.

After that we kept talking and basically she asked me what I am looking. I could feel she was asking seriously, because she was still keeping some distance sitting with her legs crossed all elegantly, and when I teased her saying that if she wants me to respond faster she can kiss me and take some of the sweet I am eating from my mouth, she said something along the lines of we did that, we don't need to go so fast.

I basically told her the truth, that I cannot promise her anything for long term, I know I am enjoying our time together, I want to live in the moment, and what matters is giving yourself fully to the person you are with. I am not actively looking for something specific, but I am also open to spend more time with someone I have good chemistry with.

This was a longer speech, I could make it somehow more concise, and she was staying there listening to it, and also aggreeing more or less. Then I asked her back and she said she is looking for marriage, not sure about kids, but wants someone to go seriously towards that.

Soon after that she checked her phone and told me she'd have to leave. I took her down at the tram station and stayed there with her till the tram came, exchanging a parting kiss when she left.

We exchanged 2-3 texts the next day, I sent another text yesterday, which she hasn't answered yet.

Honestly she is a fairly cute, and a very sweet and elegant girl, in fact if I was indeed looking for marriage I could imagine going for someone with her vibe. I am not though, and as weird as it sounds I am perfectly fine that I didn't push more to sleep with her that night.

I could feel she wasn't the first date lay type, and she wasn't giving me much in my apartment, it would be really chasing to jump on her and escalate, or that's how I felt at least. Maybe it would have been better to do something like that, basically try to either close then and there or have her leave running, but I didn't feel it at all.

I could have also gone for stronger sexual frames and sex talk earlier, but I somehow felt she wouldn't respond very well to that. Anyway my feeling was that she probably wanted someone with boyfriend potential, that is something I am almost sure I cannot offer, so I wanted to be clear about that, and leave it up to her to decide if she would like to do more with me that night or see me again knowing that.

I guess this shows quite some outcome independence because I was totally fine not having sex with her if she was in a different headspace. I would still enjoy meeting her though, as I said I enjoyed her energy, so we'll see, if not I really wish her the best.

3)

On Sunday at last I sent messages back to all the girls I had left unanswered after my mass pinging few weeks ago. After this there are basically very few girls that I have already their contacts and could potentially be new lays, so it's a push to go out and approach harder again.

Through this texting there was one older girl that basically responded telling me that if I am close to where she is she is down for a beer now. I confirmed it fast, and left my home to go there, I was planning to go out and cold approach, but I though ok a date is better.

We met by the lake, sat at two sunbeds at some open air bar and caught up. I probably approached this one about a year ago, then saw her again when she came to see a theatre play of mine I invited her to, and then never again before yesterday.

She told me about her life a bit, how she only had one boyfriend, then her husband that cheated on her with an assistant and then nothing. I kept it positive telling her how strong she is to go through all that, and then talking a bit about dating dynamics, and how it is difficult for women nowadays, because men feel intimidated.

I was feeling that there was something there, and I wanted to bring it up, to make her see that I like her as a woman, because she kept saying how she doesn't get attention, doesn't know how to flirt, and spends most of her time alone.

I talked about being authentic, and told her how when I saw her she made me feel good as man, and it was why I am here with her today too, and she also said that she felt my energy which is why she invited me.

At that moment I proposed getting another beer and going to sit by the water putting our feet inside. She agreed and we went there as it was getting darker. We were closer, so I went for the move of teaching her something in my language.

I had her say: I want to kiss you, translated it to her, and then took a moment looking at her and went for a kiss. Backed off, told her it felt really soft, and then after a bit got in for another more passionate short one. She was kissing pretty well in fact foronly been with 2 men before.

She was clearly enjoying it, but was feeling a bit overwhelmed too, telling me how she is nervous, can't believe it, feels like she is 15. She asked my age, and told me she is probably older than my mother, I told her that this is not what I care about, but I pay attention to how I feel with someone.

After staying there for a bit we started walking back, she is living with her teenage daughter and without battery she wanted to go home that night which I understood. I pulled her in for 2-3 more kisses before saying our goodbyes at the tram station.

I had already told her of course that I cannot promise anything, and I simply want to enjoy the time with someone I have a good connection with, and I feel she understands that and enjoyed the time too. She told me before leaving, that she would invite me for some food at her place.

I sent a text today telling her it was a lovely evening, and she responded it was lovely for her too and that I brought the exact lightness she needed. I told her she inspired that, and I will text again in about 2 days with a plan to see when we could meet again.

Can't say I am sure it will happen, but I think it is possible.

4)

The last date from earlier today with a girl we had met two times already, the first of which I tried to pull her home immediately. Brazilian girl with minimal english knowledge

We went for a walk at a local park and then sat at a bar there. This girl surely liked me a lot, was even receptive ot my touches, and quite compliant, but wasn't going beyond that.

Had already rejected my kiss in the previous date, and was constantly telling me how she is unique and I won't find another one like her, and she has a secret.

I invited her to my place again to play her some guitar, and she rejected it and told me that she is not easy and doesn't do that.

We had an exchange of some long translated by the phone texts then and basically she told me she is a virgin and waiting for marriage. I also felt it's pretty serious for her, so I didn't try to push after a point of saying that I can't offer that, but I still like her company and enjoying the moment.

I think she felt really comfortable after that and like she was free from it all and I liked her exactly how she was.

We started going back from that place to the train station and we were hugging quite a bit, I gave some kisses to her forehead too and then we parted ways.

I truly wish her the best, she will be leaving for Brazil in few days anyway, but it was nice that she shared it with me and we came close even like that.

 

[AspiringStoic]

No lay this week but I will unravel some thoughts and experiences.

General

First of all something not game related directly, is that I realised I am really tight financially. I guess I could do better if I stopped doing certain hobbies, but then I think it wouldn't be very sustainable to not have this social aspect as well in my life.

Anyway, I will survive, it's just that paying the entrance for a club or having a drink or two are things I would think twice before doing regularly. The good thing is that game is free more or less, and I never really spent that much.

I want to do fairly well at work to get some higher-paying permanent position as fast as possible. I'll probably need 6 months at least but it should be possible.

I had my first presentation in fact and it seems that people were pretty satisfied, I worked some extra hours, but it was worth it. For this reason I lost one two days that I could use for approaches, still found time for some though.

Approaches

1)

I had one to a girl that was running, stopped her with a compliment and she looked pretty excited to talk to me. She stayed there for a bit, it was a good vibe, I was teasing her and she was laughing, we exchanged numbers, but she didn't answer to my icebreaker and didn't even receive the next text.

Quite cute girl, even seemed a bit compliant, but it could be that she was in a highly excited state, enjoyed the convo but didn't feel like she wanted anything more after that. I for sure could have had some more masculine energy, sometimes when I get more playful I feel I lose it, so I should look into that.

2)

Also talked with another girl later, that was an 18 year old that told me she had left her house after fighting with her parents and was leaving in the streets or something. Quite a strange one, but in the way that she seemed to truly appreciate someone that saw and liked her for who she was.

I should have pushed for more with her then and there, maybe grabing a drink and chilling somewhere, I think this would have been a higher percentage play compared to the number close I did. She even told me she doesn't communicate much with her phone so it didn't even make much sense that I didn't try to lead it all the way then and there.

I think my main issue was that I was away from my place, and I still haven't found good enough spots for public sex in the city. Honestly I feel this would help a lot when downtown, for a situation like this one, when you feel that it would be better to go with someone nearby and close there.

If anyone has ideas on where to go for sex in the middle of the city at night, I would love them. I have checked areas like parks, or river banks, some of course are fairly empty when late, but also fairly visible so I don't know how secluded and hidden I should go for when it comes to a sex spot, or if just a darker spot in some park is fine no matter whether people walk by, not far from there.

3)

Had another approach yesterday, girl waiting for a tram in a classy dress, I was taking the same and opened with a comment about how elegant she looked and feeling like she is coming from a gala. She wasn't unreceptive, and was laughing quite a bit, but I was getting the feeling that her reactions were a bit more towards the awkward and uncomfortable vibe, compared to the excited and enjoying it one.

I didn't have a lot of choices since we only had few stations before I got down, so when we entered and she sat down, I sat at the only obvious free seat next to her, trying to give her some space and keeping it light to not overwhelm her. Don't think I managed well though, because when I proposed we meet again she wanted me to give her my phone, which I did fully knowing what it means.

I simply felt that I didn't want to push her to give hers, maybe it would have worked who knows, but I have decided when this happens to just let it be. The thing I could have done differently is not mention towards the end that I'll be here and should have some free time the next days so we could catch up if she is around. I think it feels a bit like chasing when she only has your number, and being as chill as possible not even mentioning again going out together is better.

Few more approaches that were not significant. I should increase the volume, that said at least having some that respond positively is a great motivator to keep going. And although the girl I had met at night and made out at the instant date kept dodging my invites to the point I stopped responding to her, I did go to few interesting dates.

Dates

1)

I met that pretty girl I was talking about last time in the middle of the day for lunch break. It was a disaster.

I got in a meeting for my job that I thought I would be able to leave early, then I wanted to talk about some more things, so I ended up being 10 minutes late to the place we agreed to meet.

I went as fast as I could, arrived, immediately apologised, sat down with my food and then she started.

Basically telling me that I am late an I could have let her know. I told her that yes I understand, I thought I would have been able to make it faster but got into a meeting and didn't realise it. She then told me how she is also busy and could have caught up with some work herself. I again told her I know, and I wanted to text but when I opened the phone I saw she had sent she was already there so there was no point.

I was trying to defuse it, but she wasn't in a good mood at all and she wouldn't stop going about it, so at some point I suddenly got a serious face and with firm tone I told her: "Isn't sorry good enough for you or what do you want?" She said: "Nothing". So I said: "Good".

After that I tried to get a bit more positive and playful telling her to leave all this behind us, but I am pretty sure it was over at that moment. She was very closed off for the rest half an hour, wasn't responding well to any teases or playful conversation, and wasn't even contributing that much herself.

I did another mistake because by the end I was just self amusing too much, to the point that it probably felt I was trolling her. For example she said she was taking tae kwon do classes because I asked about a korean tattoo she had. I told her playfully that she likes beating people up, she told me no it is for self defence, so I said yeah I know, it is good to have someone to protect you. She said she protects herself, so I told her "no, I mean you protecting me, now I know what I am gonna do if someone attacks us here, run and hide behind you".

Anyway the vibe wasn't there at all for this type of stuff and I think it aggravated her even more. In the end I had to go somewhere else, so I proposed leaving, she gave me the most "I hope I never see you again" handshake ever, and blocked my number a day later. I was planning to send her that she felt closed to me and that I didn't know how it could work between us in that way, but she was faster.

Now surprisingly, I don't feel that bad about this one. I honestly felt she was taking it a bit too far in the beginning, I don't know if these 10 minutes were really so important to her, but no matter what I would expect someone after a polite apology and another comment to move on from the subject. She started annoying me and I am happy I showed it, I clearly focused more on how this made me feel compared to making the beautiful girl feel good to my expense. That said I could have done it in a smoother more relaxed way, telling her more kindly that this is over and it is better to move on.

I thought of this for a second when I responded to her in fact, but then felt that this girl is not gonna stop with something like this, so I went all serious. The problem is that the way I eventually said it had the energy of: You are annoying me, so shut it, understand?, and I've been told I can be pretty scary when I take that look. I don't expect anyone that is not low self esteem to receive that and be fine with it.

So inviting the person in a kind way first to stop the behaviour is a lesson to take home. And then if they don't stop, being more firm without losing your temper and removing yourself from the situation if they don't collaborate.

Also I should pay attention to not tease and be totally unserious if the vibe is not there and the girl is just not buying it. It's better to connect with her, build similarity and let her open up. Not that I believe I had much hope to turn things around here, but it is something good to remember in general, because I do have this tendency sometimes to double down on something that is going bad as a sort of ego protection by trying to make my initial approach work and not accept rejection.

At least my first thought when I saw her sitting down was that she wasn't as beautiful as I remembered, so all good.

2)

Same day in the evening I met with another girl. This was good in fact because I was able to disassociate myself from that lunch date fast. I also had that big presentation the following day so I was really busy and needed some good time.

And I got it, that girl was so sweet. Very elegant as well, working in banking, mid 20s, introverted, she had this kind of super classy and externally cold but internally warm and feminine energy that I love.

We went at the open air bar close to my place, she was quite receptive to my touches, but keeping a distance, and I could feel she liked me. Always nice to experience it by such a cute a well put girl. She was quite a bit into luxury, first time we met she was going to a car show, and she was very into having ambition and becoming financially successful.

Also I could feel that she was the type looking for a relationship and a great candidate for boyfriend and maybe more, at least from how she was talking about it, I was feeling that it would be a very difficult first date lay, but I was enjoying her quite a bit.

After finishing our drinks I took her up at a place with good view, we were coming a bit closer, not too much still though, so I wanted to maximise my chances and I decided to invite her home and escalate there. I told her about the sweets from my homecountry ( sadly they are done so I have to find a new plausible deniability ) and she agreed to come.

As we were walking she did say that it was going late and she should probably go home, but I told her we were there already and that we would go up only for a bit. She agreed and we did.

In my place after going to the bathroom she asked me about the three/four toothbrushes I have, I joked that they are for my different girls, and then defused it saying they are for my parents when they visit, because I really felt she believed I was a big player. At least I was quite playful during the date, and without really disqualifying myself as a boyfriend actively, it wasn't the serious kind of courtship that she was probably more used to.

We sat together at the couch to have the sweet, talked for a bit, asked about the tastes she likes and then went for a kiss. She kissed me then went for a second before pulling away, realised she was pulling away already so I brought her in quickly for the second one and then broke it off.

After that we kept talking and basically she asked me what I am looking. I could feel she was asking seriously, because she was still keeping some distance sitting with her legs crossed all elegantly, and when I teased her saying that if she wants me to respond faster she can kiss me and take some of the sweet I am eating from my mouth, she said something along the lines of we did that, we don't need to go so fast.

I basically told her the truth, that I cannot promise her anything for long term, I know I am enjoying our time together, I want to live in the moment, and what matters is giving yourself fully to the person you are with. I am not actively looking for something specific, but I am also open to spend more time with someone I have good chemistry with.

This was a longer speech, I could make it somehow more concise, and she was staying there listening to it, and also aggreeing more or less. Then I asked her back and she said she is looking for marriage, not sure about kids, but wants someone to go seriously towards that.

Soon after that she checked her phone and told me she'd have to leave. I took her down at the tram station and stayed there with her till the tram came, exchanging a parting kiss when she left.

We exchanged 2-3 texts the next day, I sent another text yesterday, which she hasn't answered yet.

Honestly she is a fairly cute, and a very sweet and elegant girl, in fact if I was indeed looking for marriage I could imagine going for someone with her vibe. I am not though, and as weird as it sounds I am perfectly fine that I didn't push more to sleep with her that night.

I could feel she wasn't the first date lay type, and she wasn't giving me much in my apartment, it would be really chasing to jump on her and escalate, or that's how I felt at least. Maybe it would have been better to do something like that, basically try to either close then and there or have her leave running, but I didn't feel it at all.

I could have also gone for stronger sexual frames and sex talk earlier, but I somehow felt she wouldn't respond very well to that. Anyway my feeling was that she probably wanted someone with boyfriend potential, that is something I am almost sure I cannot offer, so I wanted to be clear about that, and leave it up to her to decide if she would like to do more with me that night or see me again knowing that.

I guess this shows quite some outcome independence because I was totally fine not having sex with her if she was in a different headspace. I would still enjoy meeting her though, as I said I enjoyed her energy, so we'll see, if not I really wish her the best.

3)

On Sunday at last I sent messages back to all the girls I had left unanswered after my mass pinging few weeks ago. After this there are basically very few girls that I have already their contacts and could potentially be new lays, so it's a push to go out and approach harder again.

Through this texting there was one older girl that basically responded telling me that if I am close to where she is she is down for a beer now. I confirmed it fast, and left my home to go there, I was planning to go out and cold approach, but I though ok a date is better.

We met by the lake, sat at two sunbeds at some open air bar and caught up. I probably approached this one about a year ago, then saw her again when she came to see a theatre play of mine I invited her to, and then never again before yesterday.

She told me about her life a bit, how she only had one boyfriend, then her husband that cheated on her with an assistant and then nothing. I kept it positive telling her how strong she is to go through all that, and then talking a bit about dating dynamics, and how it is difficult for women nowadays, because men feel intimidated.

I was feeling that there was something there, and I wanted to bring it up, to make her see that I like her as a woman, because she kept saying how she doesn't get attention, doesn't know how to flirt, and spends most of her time alone.

I talked about being authentic, and told her how when I saw her she made me feel good as man, and it was why I am here with her today too, and she also said that she felt my energy which is why she invited me.

At that moment I proposed getting another beer and going to sit by the water putting our feet inside. She agreed and we went there as it was getting darker. We were closer, so I went for the move of teaching her something in my language.

I had her say: I want to kiss you, translated it to her, and then took a moment looking at her and went for a kiss. Backed off, told her it felt really soft, and then after a bit got in for another more passionate short one. She was kissing pretty well in fact foronly been with 2 men before.

She was clearly enjoying it, but was feeling a bit overwhelmed too, telling me how she is nervous, can't believe it, feels like she is 15. She asked my age, and told me she is probably older than my mother, I told her that this is not what I care about, but I pay attention to how I feel with someone.

After staying there for a bit we started walking back, she is living with her teenage daughter and without battery she wanted to go home that night which I understood. I pulled her in for 2-3 more kisses before saying our goodbyes at the tram station.

I had already told her of course that I cannot promise anything, and I simply want to enjoy the time with someone I have a good connection with, and I feel she understands that and enjoyed the time too. She told me before leaving, that she would invite me for some food at her place.

I sent a text today telling her it was a lovely evening, and she responded it was lovely for her too and that I brought the exact lightness she needed. I told her she inspired that, and I will text again in about 2 days with a plan to see when we could meet again.

Can't say I am sure it will happen, but I think it is possible.

4)

The last date from earlier today with a girl we had met two times already, the first of which I tried to pull her home immediately. Brazilian girl with minimal english knowledge

We went for a walk at a local park and then sat at a bar there. This girl surely liked me a lot, was even receptive ot my touches, and quite compliant, but wasn't going beyond that.

Had already rejected my kiss in the previous date, and was constantly telling me how she is unique and I won't find another one like her, and she has a secret.

I invited her to my place again to play her some guitar, and she rejected it and told me that she is not easy and doesn't do that.

We had an exchange of some long translated by the phone texts then and basically she told me she is a virgin and waiting for marriage. I also felt it's pretty serious for her, so I didn't try to push after a point of saying that I can't offer that, but I still like her company and enjoying the moment.

I think she felt really comfortable after that and like she was free from it all and I liked her exactly how she was.

We started going back from that place to the train station and we were hugging quite a bit, I gave some kisses to her forehead too and then we parted ways.

I truly wish her the best, she will be leaving for Brazil in few days anyway, but it was nice that she shared it with me and we came close even like that.

Bro you are at a sweet spot. Having multiple leads and having something going on each week. Just keep doing what you are doing and of course increase your approaches if you can this week. I think you are already in "dating abundance" and if you keep going you will be in "sexual abundance".

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Bro you are at a sweet spot. Having multiple leads and having something going on each week. Just keep doing what you are doing and of course increase your approaches if you can this week. I think you are already in "dating abundance" and if you keep going you will be in "sexual abundance".

Thanks man, these last weeks have been good indeed.

And it is really important to approach more, because it can't be sustainable any other way, you just need new leads regularly.

My approaches have not been very effective lately in fact, and I've been wondering if I am doing something wrong, or I just need to do more.

I did 3 today that went nowhere for example, and I feel that one part is that more volume gives you more chances for a good result by default, but there is the other part also, which is that when I approach commuting before or after work, I am never in the most social/seductive state, so these 3 approaches are probably of worse quality than the 3 I would do on a relaxed Sunday afternoon stroll.

Anyway it's still better to approach than not to approach, I just find it interesting, because although I've been having dates and lays lately, it doesn't seem to affect my state in field positively.

I feel that the way my approaches go is way more connected to how I feel in that moment, if I am relaxed or in a rush, in a social or analytical mood, and has little to do with whether I slept with a girl last night or not.

There are some other factors that I suspect are at play here too.

The first one is the quality of the girl, that if she is some extremely elegant good looking woman, I may not be sure why she would be interested in me if she can find the whole package elsewhere and I am only offering some passionate sexy time.

This is because I know I am not going for a girlfriend or something long term now, so I somehow feel I am wasting their time, since that is what they probably want and can also easily get from many high value men, so why stay around me.

Now an obvious answer to that would be because I am very sexy and make them have an amazing time, the thing is I feel that the really attractive girls should have abundance of really sexy guys they can choose from so I am not offering anything too special here.

Maybe I should just assume that this is not true, and I really am God's gift to women and an experience that cannot be compared to any other options they have.

And here comes the second factor, which is the fact that in order to believe that, you need some experience that backs it up, and I've had some unsatisfactory sexual experiences that can make me doubt how exciting of an opportunity for a woman I really am.

At least I have one woman now, that seems to find me extremely sexy, which is very good for boosting my confidence in this front.

She sent me a text yesterday, after having slept together once a week ago, and we met after a business dinner of mine, went directly to my place and had sex, and although I didn't even last that long in the two rounds, she seemed extremely satisfied, telling me I am driving her crazy, even letting me know she couldn't concentrate in her work during the day when I answered we could meet tonight.

Probably with few more experiences like that you start really behaving like you are God's gift to women and approaching knowing you have immense value to provide them.

So I guess I have a start, it is something, and as I keep going it can only get better.

And as I in fact expect the rest of the week to be a bit more quiet regarding dates, it's a great chance to put myself out there and get some more leads.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Was a fairly quiet rest of the week as I expected, at least gave me the chance to go out and approach a bit more.

That said, I can't say I got any crazy results, 5-6 numbers out of 30+ approaches and they didn't even feel very solid. I wouldn't be surprised even if I get nothing out of them.

The interesting thing is that they weren't totally uninterested numbers though, I've gotten some like that just to get rid of me, so I can feel it. These girls at least stopped, some talked to me for a bit, some even complied in a way, I do feel though that they weren't any crazy good approaches.

And this makes me wonder how good an approach has to really be. Sometimes I just stop them, then they don't talk much, I try to to get to know them, give one two teases, but there is very little reciprocity although they stay there. So I end up finishing the interaction and going for a number to meet some other time, because it really feels like they are either going somewhere, or if not they are simply not giving me a lot at that moment and seem to prefer to be left alone.

Approaches

Now someone could say that these mean they are not interested, but I don't believe that exactly. There was one girl in specific, quite young, moved with me when I asked her in the beginning, was saying something in the phone and immediately stopped to talk to me, but then she wasn't contributing much. I decided to ask her to meet another time, maybe could have been better to go for some instant date, but I wasn't feeling a very strong vibe. Eventually her first text was about how old I am, told her 28 which is the truth, and got no response after that.

I also had one that got me a bit sad, in the sense of why not moving this forward when we clearly both like each other. I was waiting in a line to grab some food, saw a girl in a leafy green dress and orange heels waiting behind me with her friend and directly complimented her. They were trying to find what to pick for a food, I recommended something playfully, she seemed to be quite into me, told her where I am from and they both started laughing, her telling me that she is really into my country and men from there, then I asked where she is from and in fact she was from a country I really like the women and I told her. Afterwards I could feel the vibe, we had a moment with prolonged intense eye contact where her friend even took a step back and said maybe I should leave you two alone here, and after a bit more our time came to order at different cashiers.

They finished first, and after I finished I passed from her table, there were only two seats anyway, so I told her I'll let her have the time with her friend, but let's exchange numbers to meet another time. She told me something like, let's see later, since I would be sitting somewhere around, I told her that she wants to come give it to my table herself, and she said she wants to see how much of a gentleman I will be. I just said an ok with a playful look and went and sat at another table. No idea what she meant or wanted, but I wasn't in the mood for games. I eat very slowly anyway, so they finished first and just left, without even looking towards me when getting up, I gave a signal to come see me but could be they just ignored it.

I am still fascinated by how even them being into you doesn't seem to matter to exchange contacts, or move things forward, Sometimes it feels you have to be some super seducer and manage to put them totally under your spell in few minutes to get a chance, which I don't really mind, I want to improve and it is something I am working towards, but then I see all kinds of guys with quite attractive girls and wonder if all of them are really so seductive and I am doing something terribly wrong.

Not being negative here, I don't think any of the rejections or near misses like this affect me much, it's just a shame when it seems like the girl is interested, but then doesn't even want to continue the interaction. We could argue that maybe she is not that interested, but then it's a question of how interested it is possible to get her so fast.

I also had another late night approach, stopped the girl after coming out of the train, told her she looked very classy and also destroyed like she had the time of her life. She seemed interested but more tired and not super excited, I was also tired, so I asked to meet some other time. Then she staid there and started to ask about me, we talked some more, getting to know each other, staying playful, and more or less agreed to meet in two days, as long as we are not too tired from the crazy weekend. After that she never responded to my icebreaker, and on the day of the date, I sent her a voice message around lunch time recommending where to go, and she just said she is sorry and she can't.

Takeways

So these were some interesting interactions of this week, that went further than the girl either ignoring me, leaving right away, or seeming totally uninterested to talk, which I also had quite some times.

What I noticed is that I had way more fun approaching during the day around the city, while during the night it felt like a drag. One reason for the second is that I was feeling tired when I went out late, but also I saw many more girls that really interested me when I was going out around the day.

This tells me I have to change my weekly plans and focus on approaching right after work the days I can, and daytime on weekends, while keeping late night outings as a bonus but not depending on them for volume.

Of course after work my vibe is usually not the best, but that is something fixable in field, and I also think it will help knowing there is more volume available to focus on enjoying my time out and not thinking I have to get results.

Because I noticed that I have gotten in this mindset lately, that I've been trying to go out to increase leads to keep the dates and lays coming, which has made me focus too much on making things work affecting my vibe.

Not that it is extremely easy to be happy, satisfied and outcome independent, no matter how many rejections you get, but at least by going out more in target rich environments, you get enough chances to get good interactions with girls you like, that keeps you going positively and eventually having the results too.

So some adjustments and more approaching, while looking at what I can improve in the interaction itself, is the way forward, and sooner or later it will bring some results again.

 

[AspiringStoic]

@ChrisXKiss


I get exactly where you are coming from. I also have the same issue. I am okay when girls are clearly not interested on approach and either dont stop to talk or tell me they have a boyfriend.

But its the ones who stop, but dont give you too much, the ones who have a nice back and forth like how you did the with that green dress girl and then dont get back to you at all, or who enthusiastically give out the number and then dont reply or never come out, this is what gets us down.


Because by them doing those things we develop the expectation that maybe something will happen and then that expectation is shattered and that leads to way more negative feelings than not having had that expectation at all.

Its like the guy who wins 50 dollars and then loses it, is going to feel way worse than the guy who never won any money.

I was talking to a friend of mine who I have mentioned several times on this forum. This guy was the epitome of consistency he used to do 3-5 approaches every single day. Like in a 365 year day he would do this on at least 355+ days regardless of if he had dates was sleeping with a girl etc. And I was telling him about this situation where girls give out some signs and then it does not go anywhere, and how that actually affects me more.

What he said was this happens because I am still seeing this whole cold approach and seduction thing as "separate individual scenarios". I put meaning on every individual reaction, what each individual girl said to me, what each individual girl did, like give me her contact and then did x or y. And that my emotions are still tied to these individual events.

Instead he said you need to have your system like he had his everyday doing 3-5 approaches. And then every number you get, just having a system of texting where you have again rules like first message to say hi, 2-3 messages for some rapport and by the 5th message ask her out, if she does not set a date for any reason, give it 1 more try a week or so later and otherwise drop it.


And you need to follow that system to the core and then see that regardless of what signs any individual girl gives it does not mean much, but what then happens is you start seeing statistical patterns. That usually every week you get x numbers, y reply, z come out on a date etc. But for that you need to keep your daily or weekly approaches pretty much consistent over long periods. Then he said you reach a stage where your emotions dont really move with every girl's actions or reactions. Whatever they do, its part of a larger statistical picture and you realize emotionally that its all probability so you dont get attached or invested in any girl until the girl goes through your system and is still there with you at the end of the funnel i.e. you lay her multiple times and want to see her again.

This actually reminded me that I had read Chase write something very similar to what my friend was saying. So I went ahead and found it. Here it is:

Dating Success is Probability, Not Cause and Effect

If you think about success with women as cause and effect, you’ve got it all wrong. You must think in terms of probabilities. First off, causality and probability are not opposites. But from a mental models point of view, they may as well be. Most people in most walks of life think about things...

www.girlschase.com

Our problem is that our emotions are still thinking in terms of cause and effect about each girl like what does the green dressed girl's actions mean, why would she do that etc.

We need to reach a stage where our emotions also function probabalistically and where our thoughts dont say go on about each individual girl's actions or reactions but on larger sample sizes and general results.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Thanks for this answer, because I was in fact thinking of making a comment related to that.

Basically the more I move through approaching and progress in seduction, the more I feel it is about statistics.

You put the numbers in and based on your level of game sooner or later you get some results.

And also I feel that all the signs, or how the girl responds and interacts with you are quite unimportant. And which one ends up doing with you can seem pretty random sometimes.

I have just not been sure how effective it is to fully see it like that. I’ve had the feeling it that it can make me colder towards any particular interaction as I know it’s just another number that may or may not go well, but doesn’t matter that much since the next number will arrive and you can play the game again.

I’m probably a bit romantic, and appreciate all the women I’ve had something with, even felt a spark, so I want it to go well when it happens, because I know it will be the best for both of us.

And I do think that placing some certain importance on any interaction can motivate you to take a better look at what happened, and what else you could have done. And that is valuable from an improvement perspective too, of course it’s not about staying fixated, just looking back, assessing what you could have done differently to improve your chances and then moving to the next ones.

So I’d say in the end it is important to see the statistical and probabilistic aspects of it, and just approach more to increase your chances, while still being as present as possible and valuing every interaction to the fullest.

I feel in fact that lately the times I didn’t approach had more to do with me feeling that my state was bad and that the probability of it going well was so low that it didn’t motivate me, so it was still some form of probabilistic thinking. Still you have to always think that even 0.0001% of success is something worth approaching for, when not approaching is 0 and you have nothing really better to do.

I had a good time out yesterday though, and after thinking a bit about what I could have done better with the green dressed girl, I woke up quite refreshed and did 3-4 approaches while going to work.

Not particularly effective approaches, but my vibe was good, and that’s always the most important part. Because even if I can just do few per day anyway generally, being in a good mood during them just makes it more fun.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Have still not been particularly successful with my latest approaches, basically not at all lol.

From what I experience it feels like I need almost 10 approaches to get a girl to talk to me for longer than few seconds. I am not even sure if my vibe is that bad lately.

But I do get a lot of polite thank you and the girl immediately moving away from me, feels like I've got to fight to keep them there sometimes.

I still don't have an immense number of approaches per week, but I would expect with about 25 in the last one to get at least 2-3 solid numbers.

There was one that looked good in fact, pretty cute Russian girl, she answered my icebreaker, but I caught her when she was going to the take the train to leave my city, so not much I can do with it, when she lives in another place few hours away.

I had another number that could have been good, the girl seemed responsive after the initial hesitation when I approached, and it was my mistake here, because I was waiting for a tram, saw her almost when it was coming and cut the conversation short to get in. I could have stayed a bit more to build it, since I hadn't really found out much about her, and I was in no rush to go home. She texted me that she is busy and not in that place right now or whatever.

Good thing is that my mood is not getting particularly bad through all that, most of the times the girls that don't immediately ignore me or are warm enough to exchange one two words seem to appreciate the approach, but then they usually tell me they are not interested.

And I am still approaching, some days can get super busy, but I did 4 yesterday for example, just by going around, I am also going to the girls I consider particularly attractive so I can't say there is much anxiety there.

It is a bit of a weird situation where I can't say I am needy about any girl or any result, but I don't even get the chance to show them that. The latest dates I've had went fairly well, so it does feel there is an issue with my first impressions.

I'll try to open with even better energy, because ok sometimes I am not in the super social mood before or after work as I have said, but I honestly don't think that the way I open is that bad. I've even been trying to make it slower lately, more present and without any rushing.

At the same time I still have this older woman that we meet from time to time.

Not gonna lie, before meeting I am rarely excited, because I have to take some time out of my day that I could use for other things, or even approaching new women.

But when we meet I always feel that damn she is pretty hot, and better than I remember, so it surely is a good experience, although it can be exhausting too especially after a long day.

So the vibe is good, it gives me some sex about every 10 days let's say, plus some cooking and treating me well, and I believe I should just take care of getting better rest in general.

There is also a girl from my home country I had met once from online that told me she will come to my city for 2 days, and we will meet, maybe she will also stay at my place, we'll see.

We had kissed in the date we had a year ago, then kept some contact discussing when to meet again, I also kept a very playfully sexy vibe, so I am pretty sure she is coming with the idea that we are gonna sleep together too and have a good time.

Not that anything is certain, but I believe it could happen. Of course it is from online, so she is a bit on the chubbier side, but I liked her face and she had something hot about her, and pretty nice boobs, so I feel it can be quite some fun.

Let's see about that, she is coming in 3 weekends.

At the same time, the elegant banking girl that I had a date with told me she is seeing someone else now, so I wished her the best with that.

Not sure if I should have gone all the way when I brought her back home, but I didn't feel she was ready back then, I felt she was keeping some distance even after we kissed, so I don't believe that not sleeping with her was the issue.

I think she simply realised I wasn't looking for the same thing, and since she told me she wants someone for potential marriage, I am pretty fine if she found exactly that.

And I'm not sure if it makes sense to leave the door open for something more serious in order to get more girls, because it feels pretty improbable right now from my side. I would have surely liked sleeping with that hot young girl, but I am also happy I was quite upfront regarding what I am going for.

There is something here I should look into though. I think this feeling of mine that I am not looking for anything serious has been making me less excited about the very beautiful girls.

What I mean is that since I don't see them as long term potential, any extra value they have is vaporized and I kinda end up seeing most girls the same, they can be cuter, they can be hotter, but in the end all that matters is if they are open to get sexual with me without much commitment.

And this takes some of the charm out of it, I rarely get love at first sight situations these days, and it doesn't motivate me to pursue any woman hard. I feel that the next one will be around the corner and it's not like she will be so important for my life anyway.

I should probably focus on the positive traits these girls have, and let myself desire them even more. And if I truly feel I want to spend more time with one, to fully embrace that.

And I think all this has to do a lot with my general life stage, how i see and approach some things, and I will make another post one of these days to write some thoughts down.

For now I'll keep going, focusing on making my approaches more effective.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

There is info for my seduction situation for this last week as an extra in PS

This won't be directly related to game, but I do believe it has a vital connection.

Basically I want to talk about the general way of living.

I've been working an office job now for two months, low pay but it should be possible to reach 6 figures during the next 2-3 years, and then I could have something stable with a fairly good salary if I keep progressing.

But the thing is I already miss the point.

The place I live in now is pretty expensive so earning some more money would be helpful, that said I really cannot understand how advancing in my career and getting more responsibilities and less free time, is something to aim for.

I mean of course making some good money helps, but I struggle to see what kind of lifestyle that would bring.

I see the people in the company, working and having families, and although I can understand their choice logically, I cannot feel the desire to be like that. The only thing I can see as a positive is that you know you have some means to survive every month, except for that it seems so outside of me.

I could imagine someone doing his job daily and being very satisfied, but it's not that I care particularly about the specific thing I do, or helping a certain company make more money.

At the same time, you have the people that work a job during the day, and they basically finance with it the rest of their life and hobbies, which are what they really love.

And although this makes some sense to me as well, I don't think I can function like this either, and I know because every time I go and do something I like more outside of work, I have this bad feeling of being unable to commit myself to it fully.

I would even say that enjoying my life outside of the long working hours feels a bit like being a fraud, when I know that what I mainly do is something I don't really value.

So I was thinking what I am even going for, it feels like I have a day job that I am not passionate about, and then the things I do outside of it I am not particularly passionate about because I can't give them my full focus, so in the end there is left nothing to make me excited or look towards the future with anticipation.

And I realise it when it comes to seduction as well, because I feel I have no idea what I offer to a woman. Not meaning in the material sense, or in a relationship, but more about the experience, who am I and why would she be compelled to share her energy with me.

From what I have experienced in my life the way I have been effective and satisfied with myself, is by being so fully focused into what I am doing and going after what I want that I don't care about conventional everyday things.

To put it in seduction terms, it is the point when I want women to satisfy my biological urges and the connection element of human nature, as an add on to a life totally immersed in what drives me.

All this "normal" everyday working, then having "hobbies" and maybe a relationship feels so in contrast with my internal reality, in a way it deprives me of all my edge and makes me feel there is nothing special about my life, but at the same time this is my external reality and it messes up my mind a lot.

Now the question is of course what to do about all this.

For a start I don't think that a different corporate job would change things a lot. Maybe if you become really good at what you do you start feeling fulfilled just for that, but it still begs the question, how to even stay ambitious and keep progressing when you don't care about the end goal.

Because I do feel I want something more for my life, but doing it by being some high flying professional just doesn't resonate with me, I will always be at least uninterested in the fact that I am doing all this to help someone else make more money.

One other option would have been to stay in academia and be a researcher, which was my path for a while, but I also decided to stay away from it, because in the long term term it felt like it was leading to some sort of monastic life, solving difficult problems by myself, and being totally out of touch with the general society. At least that was the way I was seeing it, either going all in, or not at all.

Then there is the case of creating a business. That's something I have been thinking for a while, but what I realise more and more is that the main reason I have been thinking about it is because of external influences. I mean that this idea of being independent, self made, being your own boss and leading your employees does sound cool, that said I don't feel that I have a particular internal drive for it.

It could be that if I find something I enjoy doing that provides value I will naturally go that way eventually, but at least the idea of building a business for the sake of it, finding some solution to a random problem and then starting to focus on how to get profit out of it is something that doesn't ignite a fire inside me either.

And then there is what I thinking as a goal. Making money for few years, and then leaving the job, doing some freelancing on the side and pursuing something artistic or creative. I have a specific idea on what, and it is a way more uncertain path, but it really feels like the only one that could keep me going.

The main problem is how will my lifestyle be in the future if I take such a leap and don't succeed, but what I am thinking is that if I have built certain skills by then, I will always be able to make some money, and the worst case scenario is that I will be a struggling artist doing side jobs and not making it, but I truly think I prefer that compared to working long hours and then meddling with it for a bit on the side.

Because the way I see the world, I can be grounded and in my frame if I am doing something I love, consider important and I am great at it, even if I don't have immense financial success, but if I don't do that and I simply work on something random, the only metric that seems to matter is how much money it gives me, and this will never feel enough.

In other words to bring it to seduction again, if I meet a hot successful lawyer or business owner woman now, I am just a low tier guy in a company making an ok salary, while if I meet them in that artistic future, I am the the guy that lives life in his own terms and cares about his way of expressing it more than his material gains. And I believe that this second reality is what mostly resonates with me anyway, so when not living it, it seems I am not true to myself.

I wanted to check the way of living I am experiencing now in fact, to see if this average kind of working in a company and having your life after that in your free time is something that could make sense to me, but I do think I am wired quite a bit differently.

Does it make sense though to pursue it for 4-5 years, before I take the step and go to the other path? I mostly want this period for saving some money that I could use for trainings and the first steps, so that I won't have to work on the side that much.

But it also feels long, in the sense that I have to find ways to enjoy my life through it, maybe by completing some side quests.

For example last year during my first job I was travelling a lot, and it was what kept me going even through the boring days, that I knew I had this goal of visiting many new places. I can keep doing that more sporadically but still having the goal that one part of being in this position is to have certain days per year totally free for travelling, and the means to do it.

Another side quest is seduction. So I believe that using some of these next few years to get better at seduction and generally socially can be something enjoyable that will keep me going. I always saw it as a long term project anyway and something that would be peak when the rest of my life gets aligned with how I internally desire it. Until then I am fine being a work in progress in a life period that others expect you to be settled in your ways.

There are other small other things that would indeed be hobbies and would be fun to try here and there, and I feel it would be valuable having some places I go and some things I do for different experiences, that said I more and more realise that most activities, events or shows are not very interesting to me by themselves, and I what I mostly appreciate is the human experience and how I can deeply feel either myself or someone else and connect with them.

Saying this because I was asked by someone recently what is the thing that would be my favourite to go and do that I would enjoy, and I couldn't think of something external at all. A company of a hot woman where we are deeply in the moment together, or getting to know a new one and feeling the spark and the playfulness of this initial flirtation are things that make me much more energised than any sort of activity. How I affect someone and make them feel is what I really value.

All this post came partly because I had my birthday few days ago, became 29 and started thinking a lot about where this is all going. We all have our paths, and although I wanted to see how a conventional path looks like and experience it, I don't think it clicks. At least not now, at this point of my life, because I don't discard any sort of conventional long term relationship with kids down the road for the example.

Probably the biggest difficulty is deciding that you want to move away from this path, when for most of the people around you it feels like you are finally making it work and things are becoming stable. It feels like maybe it's something I am not getting, maybe all is good and that is how it is supposed to be, but when you get weirded out that they mention the long term prospects of your career, or when they call your interests hobbies, or when they ask you if you have a girlfriend, you just know that even if for other people these things are not just normal but also important parts of life as they see it, for you they have a totally different meaning that they couldn't easily understand.

That is why I believe that in the end it is about following your own path fully, being clever about it of course, but also knowing what you are after and going for it. We have one life anyway and I feel it's better to do that than anything else. You may not always get externally what you want but internally you will be at peace, and this will most probably invite a lot of the external things that complement you too.

I wrote this mostly for myself, that said feel free to comment, I like hearing different perspectives.

PS

My unsuccessful approaches continue in general. As I said last week, it seems that I need about ten to have a girl even hook. The worst part is when it does happen I am so trained by all the other interaction being extremely short, that I kinda don't have the flow to run this one for longer.

I had an approach that the girl stopped in the street for example, she even came towards me to listen to what I was saying better, so I'd consider that some form of compliance, but after a very short exchange I just asked her for a drink without learning that much about her, apart from where she came from, what she was doing that day, and what kind of hobbies she had.

Anyway, she did answer my icebreaker, so who knows it could still work. It was funny because she told me to save her name as "Name", and I asked her why like that? And she told me "That's my name", so I just realised we hadn't exchanged names, and I had in my mind the name of the previous girl I had stopped 2-3 minutes earlier. I told her "Did I give you my name?" She said no, so I went like "Fuck, it"s ChrisXKiss".

I was pretty low energy that day, because I was feeling a bit drained by staying at a girl's place the previous night. Which is something interesting to notice, that the day after sex I am usually not in a crazy mood to approach and my vibe can be really calm, but not that sexual. I guess I get satisfied, and I don't crave it that much anymore, which is a bit of a bummer.

I should probably not be ejaculating that much if I don't want this effect, that said it is getting to the point that the first 1-2 times I have been having sex in the night lately, I finish extremely fast, even almost right after entering, so it is really difficult to do sex without orgasming fully.

And I don't think this happens due to anxiety, because I get it even with a woman that we've slept multiple times together and I know enjoys me sexually, so I don't have any thoughts about performing in particular. Maybe I could try simply not continuing that intensely when I feel the urge, and taking it a bit slower, I am not sure if it will work, but I could at least focus on dealing with it in some ways.

Regarding the sex itself, I slept with a new woman this week on the day I mentioned. She invited me to her place for dinner, and after that we got into it. It was this girl

3)

On Sunday at last I sent messages back to all the girls I had left unanswered after my mass pinging few weeks ago. After this there are basically very few girls that I have already their contacts and could potentially be new lays, so it's a push to go out and approach harder again.

Or well, maybe woman since she is fairly old too. Which by the way in the moment I don't mind, these women make me hard, I wouldn't be there if they didn't, I've got to say though that her 16 year old daughter was there when I arrived, and I did think that I would have loved to have sex with her, maybe even more. I mean I wouldn't have done it at that age anyway, but the point I want to make is that although I do enjoy these older women, I do feel that I would love to be laying some younger girls too.

One good thing with these women though is that they are totally free of expectations, and because I tend to be pretty sexual in my approach without promising anything long term, I feel some girls from mid twenties to mid thirties do have other priorities and can feel that I am in a totally different place.

Not that this is an excuse to not lay the somehow younger girls, just saying that it takes a lot of complication out, and the relationship gets easily mainly sexual when there is age difference.

The day after that sleepover I met again with the other woman I've been sleeping with the last weeks. She came in almost ready to stop meeting me, because although she enjoys me a lot she told me she is more used to deeper connections and doesn't feel very good only meeting for sex.

I told her that I don't mind having some food or drink as well, and I simply don't want the expectation that we should always plan something special, and for me what matters is the connection we have and that is expressed more by the time we spend together and are present with each other compared to what we do.

She was still hesitant, and honestly I would be fine with her leaving, because I don't want her getting way deeper and then feeling very hurt. But after eating outside we had a walk, then went back to my place for a tea, relaxed a bit in the bed, and eventually I escalated and we slept together again.

So two nights of sex this weekend, not bad at all apart from feeling drained afterwards, and also I start realising practically that the more people you meet the less you have time to meet new people. And my schedule is pretty tight so even if I do get more numbers, I am not sure if I will even have the time to meet them.

For example, this weekend I will be travelling, and before that tonight was my only free evening, and then I will probably be free again the next weekend. Quite a long time to wait for a meeting for a number I took yesterday or I'll take tomorrow, and I have to see how this will go.

Also with the end of the summer and the coming of autumn, it seems I suddenly have a bunch of matches on dating apps, some of them even texting me first. And the thing is with everything happening in my life now I tend to forget about them, so I should make some time tomorrow to answer.

Not sure if any will lead somewhere, one I think is not speaking my language and I didn't notice, the other is asking me in the first message of a kink app if I only want casual encounters or I would also like a relationship where we could explore together, but still I've got to send some messages and see.

The funny thing is that during this last 1.5 month lately that my approaches have been flopping a lot, I have also been getting the most consistent sex of my life, and now I also have viable matches on dating apps which rarely happens.

Not bad at all of course, good to also practice the sex itself too, and the approaching will start working again.

 

[gameboy]

As I said last week, it seems that I need about ten to have a girl even hook. The worst part is when it does happen I am so trained by all the other interaction being extremely short, that I kinda don't have the flow to run this one for longer.

I'm experiencing the exact same thing. If I have a number of blowouts, or just disinterested girls in a row, it conditions you to sort of expect it, and then when a girl hooks I'm too surprised to actually proceed and properly seduce her.

As for your thoughts about corporate life, I can completely relate. I studied for a rather "conservative" job, but once the time came to actually apply for work, it all just seemed completely soulless to me. I worked in academia for a while, then I had a couple of corporate jobs with some periods of unemployment in between (those were fun), but eventually when one of those job contracts ended, I decided to start my own business. It took about a year to get it off the ground, but it worked.

So I'd definitely say, follow what your heart tells you to do. It's okay to rent yourself out for some time, but don't ever lose track of your real goal. I think at some point in my 30s I decided, at 40 I want to be self-employed. At the time, I had no idea how that would happen. But just by the power of making that decision, it somehow worked.

Now it does have its downsides as well, and it isn't always easy going but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I also have a number of artistic projects going, not everything is making me money, but I'm a rather creative person so doing these things doesn't even feel like "work" to me even though I'm trying to do it in a structured way that hopefully, can generate me some extra streams of income eventually.

Anyway, you're on a good path. Sex with 2 women on consecutive days, and you can't even be bothered to write LRs about it. I admire your humbleness.

Some things that come to mind reading your post:

I always saw it as a long term project anyway and something that would be peak when the rest of my life gets aligned with how I internally desire it.

Not sure that ever happens though! Maybe for a while, there are obviously phases where everything works out well. But life has this way of eventually throwing a wrench in the gears, or whatever the saying is.

Until then I am fine being a work in progress in a life period that others expect you to be settled in your ways.

I think life is always a work in progress.

Sure, many people crave more certainty and to be "settled", that's probably why they are content working corporate jobs with career prospects. But for me at least, that's not something I find particularly desirable.

A company of a hot woman where we are deeply in the moment together, or getting to know a new one and feeling the spark and the playfulness of this initial flirtation are things that make me much more energised

Yes!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

So I'd definitely say, follow what your heart tells you to do. It's okay to rent yourself out for some time, but don't ever lose track of your real goal. I think at some point in my 30s I decided, at 40 I want to be self-employed. At the time, I had no idea how that would happen. But just by the power of making that decision, it somehow worked.

Now it does have its downsides as well, and it isn't always easy going but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I also have a number of artistic projects going, not everything is making me money, but I'm a rather creative person so doing these things doesn't even feel like "work" to me even though I'm trying to do it in a structured way that hopefully, can generate me some extra streams of income eventually.

Yeah I feel that is important, to not just settle in the good enough situation of having the stable job and income. Because this will be the easier path in many ways. The thing is that I don't know if the pros of it would ever be able outweigh the cons for me long term.

Maybe I am a bit delusional, or a dreamer still, but I know for example that the idea of having a relationship and making a family and all the normal things most people do while working a job simply don't move me right now. I feel there is a desire to reach for something more and there is time to also find an attractive woman that would have my kids if I also want that.

I try to be practical though too, that's why I want a period of preparation, and if all goes well and I manage to get my first high paying position in the next year, I will be able to sit down and really plan how I want to go about my future, what I need to do to transition, what money I should have on the side, and I will probably also talk to people specifically about what I am thinking, and actually start planning it.

Anyway, you're on a good path. Sex with 2 women on consecutive days, and you can't even be bothered to write LRs about it. I admire your humbleness.

Well one of them was not new, but I guess I could have written a report the first time for her too, and for the other today.

I think the main reason I don't write reports for these is that they happened in multiple dates and I barely remember what happened exactly in the 3 meetings we had that led to sex. I could provide an outline, but I am not sure how valuable that would be for a report, which is why I write these here.

Also just these were lays that I kinda don't know what to report about. It may sound strange, but maybe I am internalising some things so much that they end up being my natural behaviours and practices and it feels normal we slept together without anything too fancy happening.

It really feels like they were women that were attracted to me, I connected with them, let them open up, expressed my interest and made a move, and then I kept moving forward based on how they responded, till the time that we were close, intimate and sex arrived naturally.

For example, I had dinner with that woman in her place. We had kissed before, but I could feel she wasn't that comfortable being sexual very fast, and she wanted more of an experience. So in her place I only gave her one kiss before dinner as she was preparing something, we even sat on the opposite sides of a big table, but I didn't mind because I was enjoying the whole situation and how she was also getting pleasure through all that. Eventually we just snuggled in the couch after that, I brought her close, some kisses, some strawberries and some champagne, and at some point I took of my shirt and she got up and led me to her bedroom where I got back in the lead and we had sex.

This is the story, but a lot of it are things I was feeling in the moment based on my experience with her so i struggle with finding the practical value they would provide in a report, when I could summarize most of it in just feel her vibe and make calibrated escalation moves accordingly.

Another thing is that these women are quite older than the most desired demographic or the women most people would go for. Not saying that this means that anyone could sleep with them, there is still some difficulty, and it needs a particular calibration and use of skills, I am just not sure if these kinds of seductions would be of interest to many people.

But I do think the most important reason for not posting these as field reports is that they feel so natural and that I don't push or try something crazy, just two people attracted to each other that naturally end up having sex at the right moment, and I don't see much usefulness posting a report for that.

Not sure that ever happens though! Maybe for a while, there are obviously phases where everything works out well. But life has this way of eventually throwing a wrench in the gears, or whatever the saying is.

Yes, what I basically mean here is reaching the point where I am directly on the path. For example even if I want to feel like an artist now, believe it and even communicate it, this frame of mine will be extremely weak, because I know that I am not really doing it as the main thing, but as something on the side. The moment this will be my main thing no matter whether I have made it or not I will be able to feel that yes I am doing what I want and I am expressing the identity that I desire.

I think life is always a work in progress.

And I do agree with this!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Latest thoughts and mindset shifts

I had a short trip this weekend that made me think about certain things and recenter myself a bit.

I was in northern European country, in not that big of a city, so it was a pretty relaxing time, and I realised I really needed that.

These last two months I have been working, I feel that I've been following a very particular schedule in my life, going from one thing to the other in a repetitive way that had me fairly unexcited in general.

And I felt during this trip how much I needed some freedom during the day and the chance to see something new, and meet someone new without the pressure of being in transit or the feeling of being tired after a long day.

This makes me think I should start leaving some more time during the week specifically for going out, approaching and generally doing new things. I even feel that the times I meet with the same women are not that beneficial, because although I do get sex, I occupy an evening for that, and I may also feel tired the next day due to the irregular sleeping.

And a lot of it is the mindset this routine is getting me into. Basically it feels like my whole life is settled and in a way boring, which lowers my confidence when it comes to what kind of value I present.

This leads to a negative vibe, which brings rejections that start putting me in my head and reinforce this unproductive circle.

In addition, I've been following a number of posts here lately talking about how to approach more smoothly and I started thinking that I should aim to make my game more targeted and under the radar, which somehow ended up putting me in my head too.

Nothing against the posts or the posters by the way, I simply felt that for me if I start thinking constantly about which girls look more open, which gives IOIs, do I have a good angle to approach, would direct be too much for this situation etc I end up not approaching a lot, because it doesn't feel like a good opportunity.

And I believe this can make sense, approaching in a very targeted way, but only when you are already pretty abundant with the kind of women you want, meaning you have places you can go to and know you will frequently meet some of them that will be receptive to you.

This is something I don't have yet, so getting more volume is very important. Of course it still doesn't make sense at this point to approach everyone just to do it, but I feel I will go back to approaching anyone I find fairly attractive, no matter the scenario.

Because what happens is that I end up spending time overthinking a number of approaches and either not doing them or doing them with quite some uncertainty of whether they will work.

I realised I have to be free of that, and stop thinking how to make the approach really smooth and technically perfect and just go, approach and focus on being present and centered more than anything, since that is what the women really value.

Approaches and night game

So didn't do a lot of approaches during that trip although I had two mostly free days. I did some half-assed ones in the beginning, then I thought of going for it more, and a very disappointing one, where I stopped an attractive girl, and almost excused myself immediately after the compliment taking a step away from her and leaving,.

It was very interesting, because she didn't shut me down, I was just so trained by a lot of approaches finishing fast with the girl not wanting to talk and stepping away, that my initial reaction was to let her go immediately, even though she did not show any big unreceptive signs.

This made me understand how fucked up my approaching mindset has been getting lately. Specifically on this occasion I was thinking that I had only few hours left in the city, so there was no way a girl would want to spend them with me ( I had already had some dating app matches declining to meet me when they realised that ). And then I said that no, what matters is that I am enjoying my time here, I would like to enjoy it more with a girl I like, so let's embrace it, invite them and whether I get one out or not I will still be fine.

So the next few approaches after that one felt so much better, even though I didn't get any out that night. I did end up talking to a random guy I saw standing with his glass outside a bar though. And this was nice, because I have not been getting very social or talking to guys when out lately, so it was good to see I could normally approach and be effectively friendly outside of a pure man to woman context. He was in a private event with his ballet dancer girlfriend and her crew so he also wanted to escape from them, and he ended up going in and bringing me some glasses of wine to have together so everyone was satisfied.

I did make another fairly effective bar approach to two girls the previous evening. They were standing at a small round table in the same bar with me, one of them felt really cute, so I approached after coming back from the toilet and seemingly just noticing them.

Although I was expecting a very harsh rejection, they reacted very well to my direct opener saying how the girl I liked was so femininely elegant. We all had drank a bit as well, so we were in a good mood let's say, and I could feel I could vibe without thinking much. They went out after a while to smoke, then I met them as they were leaving and we exchanged numbers they never responded to, but it was an important interaction that showed me what kind of unnecessary negative thinking I've been having lately.

It was also interesting to approach again in nightime inside a proper venue, which I had been staying away for a while. After that bar I also went to a club, did few approaches there, or at least opening pings, they didn't land, and I only had one kinda fat girl throwing IOIs at me, but wasn't in the mood to fall that low and try something with her just to do it. She was making out with another guy soon after, but this guy was so desperate that later she was trying to escape him.

Having been away from nightlife for some time now, it was nice to be back in the environment, I was happy I also managed to get in the club although the bouncer stopped me and asked me how I am feeling, to which I said I am very well, I had some, and I would like some more.

I do like the vibe and energy of the night, that said I realised once more that I struggle too much to make it work inside loud nightclubs game wise. Even good dancing doesn't seem to matter, talking is almost impossible, so I don't see how to even seduce, it feels like they either like you immediately or not, with the first happening so rarely with girls I like myself, that it seems to not be worth the time spent in the environment and the lack of sleep due to it.

The bar environment I feel is better, given that you find a place where you can be more social, and move around interacting with people naturally, not having a bunch of friend groups sitting at different tables. I struggle a lot with this kind of venue selection in my area in fact, and combined with the fact that the drinks where I live are quite expensive, it doesn't motivate me much to go out to bars either.

Regarding nightlife then, I think I will generally stay with my night street game approach for now, meaning going out around 11pm+ mostly to catch the people that are returning home somehow early. And if I do take note of a good venue I'll keep it in mind.

The approach to remember

The rest of the week I did some more daygame approaches, there was one very early in the morning as I was going to work that we exchanged numbers with and there was this one yesterday evening, that no matter how it ends up, I will have it as a story to tell.

I was returning home after a dancing evening, walking through the main train station of the city as I saw a woman slowly walking in front of me with a red coat. As I was passing her I turned, said excuse me, and told her she looked really elegant in feminine way.

She looked at me like she was intrigued, and I felt maybe there was some possibility there, asked her what was her vibe, she said she was waiting for a friend to go out, and suddenly a guy came very close to us both and stood there saying something.

He looked either drunk or crazy, I couldn't understand exactly what he said in the local language, we both made a sign that we don't have anything that he wants and he started walking away.

I turned to the girl, raised my eyebrows and said "yeah, weird people", he had moved further away behind me so I don't think he exactly heard, but I saw the girl looking over my back and realised he was coming back.

This time he stood next to me to my right and opposite to her asking something I couldn't understand again, she told him that she could not help him, I made a sign with my arm that I don't have what he wants either and then turned myself slightly more away from him.

At that moment, I saw him getting triggered and he suddenly pushed me with both hands from the side pretty strongly. I lost balance and moved some meters away without falling, then stood straight and came closer to him again from the side without facing him fully, raising my right hand making a stop sign and putting it in front of him saying a "hey...hey".

A lot of things passed through my mind at that moment, one was to attack back but I thought I could probably got beat up, and it made no sense apart from protecting my ego, because I had nothing to win. It would also be dangerous to the girl that was right there, and I would most probably lose her in the commotion. I also thought I couldn't back down or leave, first of all again for the girl that I couldn't leave alone with him, and secondly for my self-respect.

So as I was standing there making the stop it sign, he was still staying there next to me looking at me, still feeling a bit threatening, so I decided to make my look a bit more intimidating, enough to the point that he realises now it's time to go, but not too much that he snaps because of it and attacks me. It somehow worked, and I think it was because at that moment that I made my vibe more threatening, I decided momentarily I was serious about retaliating if he tried anything else. So after a few moments he left towards the other side of the station, and we stayed with the girl that was still standing there through all of that.

It was really funny because I continued the conversation with her so normally that I don't even remember what I particularly said. I think it was something along the lines of how come she is out on a Monday night, she said that her friend wanted to see her after a while and they planned that, and that she had the day off. She asked what I was doing, told her I was coming from a dancing event doing ballroom stuff.

Then I told her she felt like a really positive person, and with a lot of energy, she mentioned that she didn't work that day, so I said this made sense, her friend didn't just drag her out there on a Monday evening devastated after work. Then I asked her what she feels about me, and she said that I am really calm, to which I responded, that ok, that's always good. That was the moment I realised that probably the way I handled the whole situation left an impression on her.

Continuing I told her that one reason I am staying there with her is because I don't want to leave her alone with the other guy around, but the other is that I like her energy. She asked if I wanted her number, I told her it's not about just getting a number, but making something out of it, she said she could give me her number, I let a small laugh, realising there is no point discussing this and we exchanged numbers.

She guessed my country by the language she saw on my phone and I told her that I she was really good touching her forearm for a brief moment, then asked if she had friends or was just really good with languages, and she said she recognised the letters. I asked where she is from, she told me from Lebanon and I told her that the women from that area have something different and more feminine than the central European women which I like.

After that I told her that if she wants me to stay there until her friend comes to be safe from the guy I'll do it, or else I'll be going back to my place to get some food and then some rest, she said it is fine and I can go so we started walking together for few meters. I told her where I was going for the train, asked what is kind of the plan for the night and she said a nice bar, and asked me if I am going home.

I told her yes, and that if she inviting me out I would come ( here she slipped in a no not now), but I don't want to get in the middle of the night with her friend, so maybe another time. She said yes maybe another time, and we were both slowly walking I went to the right towards my platform and she somehow went behind me to the other side. I turned around to say a good bye, but she was already on the phone, didn't hear it so I continued and left.

I sent an icebreaker about an hour later, she responded almost an hour later herself, hey with my name and that I didn't say bye with a sad face. Wasn't sure exactly what to say, didn't want to be fully logical and say no I did, or say that she didn't hear it and I didn't want to interrupt, so I simply said today in the afternoon that we said we'll meet again, that's the best bye when you like each other Then I asked her how the Monday night out was. She responded with two messages I haven't checked yet, the second one I could see from the chat was veryy nicee. Depending on the other one, I may just propose we meet right away.

All in all I don't believe I did something crazy verbally, I would even say I was not that smooth because I had forgotten how it felt to talk to a woman for a bit longer and then go for the close and end the conversation. This is something that will come back though the more I interact with women again, which I believe will happen if I change my mindset as mentioned and see it as a more of an enjoyable positive experience for me that I want to share.

What really made it though was the situation with the other guy. I don't even know how I was so calm myself and treated it like that, but I know it was feeling so good afterwards, the winner effect is real. Also I cannot imagine many better unprepared scenarios for a woman to access mate fitness than what she had in front of her, with me and that guy. And no matter if we eventually go out, if anything more happens or not, I will always have this feeling of being super grounded in the most random of scenarios in front of an attractive woman, making her go: "Who is this guy really?".

Conclusions

And regarding the meeting, I have to really see what to do with my free time. I don't want to cut off the girls I am meeting already, I do like them, that said I can feel I desire some new ones, I lack excitement and fire in my life if I stay in too much routine as I said.

And the weirdest part is that I have a bunch of dating app matches this last week, that I struggle to find time to text, or even plan anything. It even came to the point that a girl after some days of matching without a text, sent me welcome back! yesterday, which means she was checking where I was the previous days and realised I returned from a trip. I want to contact some of these matches tomorrow and generally keep time during the day for texting back to everyone, because I truly feel it is a shame. I guess girls like busy guys, but I am reaching a point where it probably gets too much, because I mostly have time to text late in the evening that I don't generally want and then I can forget them for days.

At least I got few matches in that trip of pretty hot girls, which was a good confidence boost that I have some kind of attractive appearance. So I truly believe that by keeping the positive mindset, focusing more on myself, and finding ways to generate wins even when things go south I will have a very good recipe that will bring success moving forward.

 

[gameboy]

As for approaching smoothly, I'd think until you're at least 40 (and approaching notably younger chicks) you probably don't need to worry about that too much. Unless you approach in a social setting like a gym or an office maybe.

She asked if I wanted her number

Very cool how you handled that situation, and how it ultimately worked out in your favor.

This girl is definitely into you. If she comes out and seems more or less liberated (i.e. not the no-sex-until-marriage type), I think you have good chances. Is she hot?

 

[ChrisXKiss]

As for approaching smoothly, I'd think until you're at least 40 (and approaching notably younger chicks) you probably don't need to worry about that too much. Unless you approach in a social setting like a gym or an office maybe.

Yeah, I feel the only thing to pay attention to is to just leave if you see clear disinterest. The approaches themselves have nothing problematic, you just see a woman you like and go to talk.

They can surely be better if you are present in the environment and what she is doing and not blindly go in, but the approach should happen anyway, and from a place of offering your value.

And I say it should happen meaning if you clearly like the woman. If you are not that interested you don't have to force yourself.

I can also imagine that the better you get the more selective your approaches can become simply due to the fact that you have more abundance and there are only certain girls that excite you enough.

I feel I am already experiencing this in fact, because I can be going around the city, see arguably cute girls but not feel particularly interested in approaching them. And these few seconds of thinking: "well she is not bad, but doesn't excite me either, should I go and approach her?", are usually enough to lose the girl.

That's why I think eventually the decision to approach a girl or not should be as instantaneous as possible, and then you can think about how exactly to go for it if you want, always without missing the point that the approach will happen no matter the scenario.

This girl is definitely into you. If she comes out and seems more or less liberated (i.e. not the no-sex-until-marriage type), I think you have good chances. Is she hot?

Yeah, in fact I checked her response to my message today and she said: "You are right" about what I said regarding the bye. So I simply mentioned after work I was going to dance bachata tonight and asked how her free time looks these next days. I never like assuming that a number will lead somewhere, but it seems more positive than negative.

Regarding the hotness, I would in fact describe her exactly as hot. Not particularly beautiful in the classical sense, roundly shaped face, curvy, but she had something sexy. She was even wearing a leather looking blouse from inside with a zipper between her boobs.

It's pretty normal for most girls that I approach nowadays and go out to be at least of a certain level of attractiveness in my eyes, due to what I said before about not getting too motivated to go and talk to simply cute girls just to do it.

Even the older woman I have been meeting, she has a very intense feminine energy, I told her the first time I saw her walking in front of me, and she excites me quite a lot when I see her in person.

Getting someone new is always exciting though too, so if not this one Lebanese girl, there will be another one down the road.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Some lackluster last days, I left work on Friday feeling really bad, and basically had to spend that evening and Saturday inside to get better.

On Sunday that girl I had met through online last year was supposed to visit for 2 days. And although I was well enough to host, when she arrived she let me know that she had fallen down fracturing some small bone in her back and was basically in pain and unable to do much.

After eating out I brought her home and we watched a movie at night, went for a kiss, we made out but then she stopped me saying that in her situation nothing more was going to happen. I wasn't in the mood to push that so left it there and went to sleep.

Today after work we had a dinner and then she went to sleep for the second day to another friend, said my place was small and she needed somewhere more comfortable with her own bed in her situation.

Anyway, it's not that bad, I also realised seeing her again that she was a bit fatter than I remembered, can't say that she was arousing me that much, and although I would have probably done it since we were in the same bed, it also feels that lowering standards is really not good psychologically.

Nothing against the girl as a person, it was just a bad situation with her issue and coupled with my issue few days before, it's been quite an uneventful couple of days.

I had done few approaches here and there during the week before all this, but I was in fact planning on doing the higher volume in the weekend which didn't happen.

I had gotten the number of one cute university student that sat next to me at the bus in the morning. I just turn around and told her she looked really feminine, gave her some space, she didn't seem to close off, so I kept getting to know her and proposed we meet another time for a drink.

Then we exchanged 2-3 texts, I told her I was dancing, asked her if she is doing anything similar, told me she wanted to do some more sports next week with the student association. I told her I always loved the offers there, and asked her how her general free time is and that we can go for a chill drink towards the end of the week.

No response since yesterday, and not sure if I will even get one. I feel I was probably a bit too sudden with my ask, maybe I shouldn't have taken the discussion to activities, but it has worked before to use it as a way to approve of the girl's interest before an ask.

The other girl from last week, the one of the incident with the guy pushing me in the train station just disappeared after the ask of how her free time looks like. Today I sent an audio saying that I am going to dance, and had a nice weekend with a friend that visited me, hoping she also started a great week. We'll see, but can't say I base a lot on this one either.

Few other girls I still talk to online, that who knows, may lead somewhere, and all in all I just have to go and do more volume.

Because there are a bunch of pretty cute girls out there, but I have to constantly put myself in the state and mindset that these are girls that I am naturally sexual with. The less I approach and have success with them, the more difficult is to approach feeling entitled and expecting success with them, so opening them is important even if just to see that some are positively receptive.

And it simply feels bad if after all this time working with yourself and building your character strength, approaching and going after what you want, to end up together with a girl that you don't even feel that excited about. I think it hits more now, because I start wondering what I've even been doing or working for, and whether all this seduction focus has been really for nothing, when I spend time with girls like the one these last days.

So immersing yourself in attractive girls, and also feeling that you can be desired by some of them at least, I believe is very important no matter the end result, because it makes you feel that an appealing end result could be possible by making the right moves, which keeps you more motivated in the end.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Not a very eventful week, but some things happening.

Date

I went to a date on Friday with a girl from online. She told me she was busy till midnight so we met for a drink a bit before 1am.

It was one strange interaction, the girl for sure had some sort of ADHD, I think she even mentioned it, and I wouldn't be surpised if she was autistic in some way.

She was asking a lot of questions on after the other, jumping from topic to topic and staying very literal in her answers. As an example at some point she asked me if I do any home office, told her I do some days, and then she asked if I do my laundry on that days.

I started being quite playful and not taking what she was saying at face value, but after few minutes I realised she wasn't following and was hardwired in a different way period. It was difficult to really feel her energy and get interested in her beyond the appearance.

She still was fairly cute, I would even say attractive in an alternative way I like, she was an artist too, so I was thinking that I would sleep with her, but wouldn't want much more. Well it seems that she felt that vibe too, and at some point she bluntly told me that she doesn't see anything sexual happening between us short or long term, because she doesn't get the powerful feeling she would like from a guy.

I told her that's good to know, we spent some more minutes to finish our drinks and then walked back to the train station and parted ways. I don't know if I could have come with way more sexual energy upfront, because I came in pretty chill, but generally she was pretty strange and I couldn't feel the vibe much, so I am not really dissapointed or anything.

It gave me some motivation to go after more women at least, because I haven't been out with new women a lot lately.

Lack of Results and Approach Indifference

And this is something I have started feeling that affects me, basically that I am getting more indifferent towards dating when most approaches to the girls I like just don't progress much.

And the thing is that I have also started realising that most girls that I find attractive outside don't make me feel any intense desire to have them as they did in the past. Even the more hot/beautiful ones I do like them, I would approach them, but I feel that I have some outcome independence regarding them that may not even be very effective in the end.

I sometimes have been looking at attractive women lately in places I don't approach like the office, or some hobbies and it feels to me that even the most attractive ones do not excite me a lot in a raw level. It's more of a feeling of: "she is really pretty, would love to do something with her, but if not whatever, who cares".

I guess that getting used to attractiveness is a good thing, and it could still be the case that I am not used to even higher levels, like coming across top models, that said it feels somehow weird that most of the attractive girls day to day feel very replaceable.

I am wondering if it is connected to me not being very horny lately, I am approaching because I like women, but it is not coming from some deep level of desire. I could stay without sexual action for a quite a while and not even feel like masturbating these days.

And I do believe that success with women creates a positive feedback loop. Meaning that if I had approaches that gave me results with particularly cute women regularly, I could start being more excited to meet them, knowing that there is a real possibility of things going well again.

So there are different things at play here, and although as an eventual goal this outcome independence and not getting fixated on any woman is something I value, I still do like attractive women and want them in my life generally, so when it doesn't happen it does feel like something is not going well.

Approach

And I did have an approach that went well this week. A girl sitting at a bench inside a train station. Gave a compliment to her style as a was passing by, she looked elegant in a more dark alternative way, had short hair, sexily cool if I could describe her.

She looked receptive, I even made a tease referencing us as a pair, since we both don't look like we come from our countries, and I said that we are both spies and we should collaborate. We didn't have much time since I was going somewhere else and she was having a train to catch, so I proposed me meet another time for a drink.

She said yes, we exchanged numbers, she responded that night to my icebreaker, and before I had the chance to say anything more, she double texted the next day to ask how I was doing. I took this chance to tell her, ask about her day and also ask when she would be free for a drink. Then she mentioned the following day, I couldn't, so I proposed some time during the weekend.

She said she was waiting for her daughter to come back and would let me know, and eventually told me it would be better to leave it for next week, since she wasn't sure when she would be coming back and how her schedule would look. I told her that's fine and we said we would talk about it next week.

She even sent me a short voice text, I responded with one too telling her that her voice is very soothing, she also told me that she likes my voice and then even mentioned that what I did hadn't happened to her since 1999.

I haven't answered to that yet, it was a pretty busy weekend and didn't get the chance to sit down and respond with a voice message planning to do so tomorrow, but I do get the feeling that it could be possible to meet this girl sooner or later.

Was a bit surprised by the daughter situation, not that I care, she just felt too cool for it, but then by the way she responded to me it got me thinking that she has probably been so deprived by male attention that she really craves it.

A good thing for me surely, that said it does make me wonder if I can only grab the attention of women that are really so deprived and unnoticed by other men that I am just their only option.

At least lately it has felt that the women that have been sexual with me fitted this type quite well.

And I am still talking to the two older women that I had sex with last, that are not far from this type at all, and will plan to meet them again since I enjoyed my time with them.

General thoughts and Game Concerns

It's just that the rest of the interactions and numbers I have gotten lately don't seem to be leading anywhere. Part of it is also volume of course, that said it sometimes feels I have to get through an immense amount of volume of women I like to find few that would be up for sleeping with me.

I'll keep going anyway, volume can be improved, and there are other things that can be improved too in the way I approach. I am starting to wonder though if my presentation is a big issue.

I never like focusing on that, and I generally believe that the vibe you bring is the most important part, but I am doing cold approaches in the street so even with a warm energy, the first thing people notice is how you look.

And I do have a fairly big beard for example right now, that you could argue it's not in the mainstream style nowadays, and I don't even use it in a particular way to showcase some archetype, I simply like the way it makes the angles and colours of my face look.

So there are such things that I am not sure how vital they are, and how much attention I should pay to them, and they can sometimes get me in my head too, wondering if I am indeed not doing anything terribly wrong with the approach and my appearance is intrinsically unappealing.

We'll see, I also rarely game in not cold approach scenarios nowadays, so it's difficult to say how the situation would be in a longer term environment where you interact with a girl and she gets to know you better up close.

What I can say is that I have felt pretty comfortable on dates since the summer, with quite some success when it comes to getting the girls that were attracted to me either to bed or at least very close to it, so I don't think that this part of the funnel is very problematic.

When a girl likes me and wants to meet me again things go generally well, so the issue does seem to be about how to make them want to really see me again.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Not many new things going on, I did some approaches during the last week but not a lot, basically to keep the habit. I could have done more in the weekend but decided to stay mostly inside, had some things I wanted to do, and also financially I am a bit tight till this week and the new salary comes in, because I planned some trips till Christmas.

I've got to say that at least I don't have much approach anxiety, especially with women I like a lot. The ones I hesitate to approach more are the ones that are cute, have something I like, but don't draw me in fully.

Strange thing because a girl can be very pretty like that but with some buggy casual clothes, which won't excite me a lot, but if she is very elegantly dressed I will feel way more compelled to approach. And although I know that the two could be the same girl at different moments, I feel like there is nothing to genuinely compliment her on when she is dressed very casually apart her looks. I guess I can mention her energy, or her coolness or whatever, but it's funny how this works.

I got a number today in fact of a very artistically classy girl, such a sweet style, but she couldn't speak english or even the local language almost at all, so I don't even know if it makes sense to get her out. She is also eastern european so I always get the feeling that they want to take things slowly and are more relationship oriented. I will see though, I may just text her and plan something, worst case scenario I pass a nice evening with a cute girl at a bar.

I didn't meet the other woman I had approaches. She basically told me for a second consecutive week that she couldn't. First week her daughter was coming back, this week she was tired and also had an early shift. I do believe her in fact, because she takes her time to explain herself with voice messages, but still after not meeting these two weeksI am starting to lose a bit my excitement. I may still meet with her though, so we'll see.

The other young girl I met at the bus is still replying to my messages. She had told me the first time I offered to go out that she was busy that weekend, but I don't know, since she keeps communicating maybe there is some hope here too. I will propose something to her again and see.

I also have some online matches I try to keep in touch with, and also some girls that have texted me after a while and I could try to make something out of, it's just that I almost find no time to answer and plan things with all of them, so I sometimes respond with quite some delay, which is probably not good attainability wise.

For example there is a girl I had approached at some point, sent her during that week an invitation to go out, she didn't respond, came back to me about a week later saying sorry, and now it's been almost two weeks and I have not responded. And it's really not any kind of games I play, just the fact that these last two weeks, it would have been almost impossible to meet, so I didn't even want to come back to her without that prospect.

I could have contacted her this weekend and was thinking about it in fact, but then I ended up meeting the older women I had been meeting lately, so it took all my Sunday afternoon and evening. We hadn't met for a while in fact, so it was good to have some sex with a person that really desires you.

I came extremely fast the first time, held better the second and basically came because I wanted, but the important thing is that I gave her a lot of pleasure. She also came instantly the first time and told me that this doesn't really happen to her, and it seems that she really craved me, and then I managed to make her orgasm in a 69 before she could make me, so I'd say she is having a great time sexually, which does boost my confidence.

Meeting these same people does take time and energy though, so I do appreciate when i can see new ones. That said, it is valuable, because I never had girls I was meeting multiple times in the past, so it is a good experience.

All in all, apart from the girls that I have had sex with already and may meet again, there are some old and new ones that could be potential dates and lays. The way my schedule is at the moment, I feel that having way more women available wouldn't even make much sense, I couldn't meet them, that said approaching is always good, and generating more leads, because you never know when one girl may be suddenly available and fit your free program perfectly when others couldn't or wouldn't.

And especially the ones I consider very attractive, yeah these ones I am not letting pass by.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Some things are moving but at the same time I don't feel at my best.

General life thoughts

I've realised this week that I am not in a good place regarding general abundance mentality. I talked to a girl during a break at work, just a normal work chat, and I realised how much I had missed being around cute young girls and interacting with them.

I mean I tend to be around some in my dance classes, and I also approach outside, but I think I am missing the feeling of spending time with a girl for no other reason than the fact that we like each other's companies, even just as friends.

I've been feeling lately that although I don't have much anxiety to approach, the girls I like are generally not part of my world and I have to do something to make them interested in me.

I think it is a clear issue of not socialising enough, which I believe could be tackled somewhat by approaching more, but I do think that at some point I should look more closely into just being friends with new hot women.

I've honestly been quite tight financially lately, which means that I try not to go to places where I have to buy drinks or pay entrance, unless it is a date. It can practically work by approaching girls in a the street and then taking them out, but whenever I go to a bar or event for other reasons these days it feels like out of the ordinary for me.

I'm also pretty sure that a lot of the travelling I did last year, which had me spending short time in different cities, made me unused to going out in my area and building some short of social routine here.

I can probably make all this sustainable for some more months till I manage to get a higher salary, but after that I really should focus on going out and gaming in a more social way.

Approaches and girls in touch

In the midst of that I managed, without making that many approaches to get two numbers with street stops this week.

One was before work in the morning, a shortish black girl. I could feel a vibe between us, gave her a compliment for her style, then had a very short interaction, that I broke first by asking to get a drink another time. It may happen, we exchanged 2-3 messages after that, with me teasing her about the language exam she managed to lose by going to the wrong examination center, then asking her out, and she told me she wouldn't be around this weekend but would be up to meet, so we'll see.

The other one was quite attractive, the type of girl I had started to forget that could be interested in me. I stopped as she was walking fast and complimented her style too ( I am not even doing this just to do it, it's really one of the things I pay attention to and usually makes me approach ). It was interesting because she would understand my english, but would respond in the local language. She also told me she could speak russian, so I guess she is an immigrant.

Short interaction here too, the girl was pretty upbeat from the get go, I proposed a drink and grabbed the number, although she proposed instagram. When I told her I don't use it in fact, her reaction was something like: "Oh my God, I wish I could do that too".

The interesting thing happened later, because I sent an icebreaker text, she responded telling me that she was sorry she couldn't speak english, and she was happy to meet too. I didn't answer and was planning to do so a day later, but after few hours she doubled texted to tell me she was very happy to receive all these compliments from me.

I don't think I had ever had that before, it was a pretty strange text, I guess she kept thinking of me and I took that as a sign of interest. The next day I texted her that she gave back the compliments with her vibe, and that she speaks the local language well, so she can be our translator. Then I proposed we go for a drink one of these, saying that I am busy with some dance classes ( she had also told me she does hip hop ), but we'll find time.

Her response to that was questioning how are we going to talk, with a translator?, using a laughing emoji. I am thinking of sending something along the lines of: We get each other, that's all it matters to vibe, hope you are more relaxed and don't jump into serious scientific debates when you first meet someone We'll see how this goes too

I also have a girl from online I will most probably meet tomorrow, and another one that seems eager to meet soon. No idea how cute these will be in real life but I'll figure out. I also got responses by three girls, one girl we had gone out a long time ago literally slept together but with no penetration, the young one that I have been having some back and forth lately after she couldn't initially meet, and another one I had approached that I had not responded to for weeks who answered my message on the same day.

So as I said in the beginning, some things are moving, and who knows, something good may come out of all that.

Date and small fail?

At the same time I went on a date last Friday, with another woman I had approached, the one with the daughter that ahd cancelled me twice the last weeks. The vibe was good, we had some tension, she was letting me touch her, I held her hand to randomly pick a drink fore her, and I was even looking at her deeply at some point and she broke it by laughing and touching me which was nice. There was also an interesting situation where a girl that was at the bar with another guy started talking to me when i asked about their drinks as I was ordering ours. She even proposed to pay for my drink if I didn't like it, and then came all the way to the table I was with my girl, and asked me that, being fairly friendly/playful, which I wasn't sure how to exactly respond to since I didn't want it to look like flirting with the other girl while on the date, so I mostly kept it friendly and short. I guess I got sme preselection points, but it was interesting.

I feel though, that messed things up towards the end. I knew she had to go home early to her daughter, so after the bar I proposed to have a walk towards the train station. As were walking I took her at a place with nice view, and although we were not extremely close I could feel some tension just for a moment. I didn't jump into a kiss then, because I was thinking it would be better to build it a bit more, but then she just said we should go or she'll lose the train.

And this made me really get into my head, wondering if she considered me a total loser for not making a move, and now having the attraction plummet by me following her lead. I think it affected the vibe a bit, because I was thinking about the best course of action after that, not talking much. As we were arriving at the train, I talked a bit more and I believe I kept the vibe up a bit, so I wouldn't say it was a crazy bad ending or parting ways, because she literally told me while leaving let's do it again, and when I told her good night, she almost said it again like she was expecting me to say we would do it again.

It's probably all in my head, but at that moment I was thinking doing what again?, going out as friends to talk with nothing happening? But I think I am just too harsh on myself, and I should stop thinking that one moment can just destroy the whole interaction. It wasn't even that great of a moment for a kiss, we stayed at that place very shortly, and anyway you can keep some tension up for the next time by not going for it, so I should have just flowed with it and since it didn't happen not think too much about it and believe that it destroyed the vibe.

I texted her later that it was a lovely time and hope she made it home safely, she gave me a voice message the next day saying she enjoyed and wishing me a nice weekend and I sent one back. No response since then, I plan to send another one in the following days and propose to meet again.

I can't say for sure though, although the vibe was not bad during the night, I felt a bit off my game, maybe I'm again too hard with myself because I didn't manage too create something very intense. But I would say that we connected pretty well, she did feel understood, and as I said in the beginning, there was some sexual tension, I didn't see any chance to release it, but this could also be good.

I just don't want to get in a very serious boyfriend role that takes things slowly, but let's see first if we meet again, I am interested to see how this plays out.

Getting sex experience

To close, I met for a second time with another woman I had slept with. Proposed a drink, when we arrived at the bar they had a private event so we went to a louder bar restaurant nearby, gladly it didn't seem to matter.

We had a drink and chilled, then I invited her home at the end for some wine. There at some point she mentioned that she had a small bump in her lip after being sick for a bit. I started kissing her neck and then moved on normally towards sex.

This was interesting, because it showed me exactly what I should have done with the previous girl. Basically I should have just chilled, enjoyed the moment, and very casually gone for an escalation move when there was a clear opening, and if there wasn't one I should have just kept enjoying myself normally.

I forget how simply things are sometimes, and being with women that I know like me and if I escalate they won't raise shields, gives me some clarity, because it lets me behave with absolute confidence and feeling like moving towards sex at some point is normal, it doesn't need to be rushed, it is not something that I am trying to have, we both know we want it and at some point I am naturally going for it.

I believe it will help me to have this in mind, together with the idea that when you want it, just go for it, and if you don't feel like going for it, just stay chill, enjoy the vibe and go for it when you feel like it.

Regarding the sex itself, I came instantly the first time I entered so not that good. She also allows me to get in raw, I trust that she hasn't been active sexually with others for a long time and also having a kid is no issue anymore, which amplifies the sensation, but I should still learn to control myself more.

Good thing is that I went again after a short time and it lasted for longer, I didn't finish till I wanted, and then during the night we had another round where I finished accidentally while dirty talking her. Good to know too, that if I am not very close to the edge, talking to her about her orgasms, can make me think about my orgasms, and get me close really fast.

At least the last time we had sex in the morning, I lasted for as much as I wanted, to the point that when she wanted desperately to orgasm, I took control, gave her some short penetration together with clit stimulation and made her explode, and then I decided to cum again because she really wanted me to.

So I believe that this was really nice because it showed me that it is possible to have sex for a long time and have control, as long as I have orgasmed recently, and this means that I don't just have a general issue, but I simply have to get more used to the sensations of having regular sex, and together with taking care of my health and exercise it will be enough to make me properly control my sexual sessions in a satisfying way.

I also didn't feel super drained after this night, although I ejaculated multiple times, which is another thing that made me happy, as it means it is possible to enjoy myself freely and still have energy for more.