Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Life situation

I've gotten myself a bit busy these weeks with some interviews and workshops/trainings/performances in other things I am doing. Not using it as an excuse to not approach, they simply came all together so I have less time for dates or approaching.

I also had one day when I got out to approach when I accidentally lost control and orgasmed before leaving the house, so I wasn't very much into a good state for seduction and the approaches fell flat. Good lesson to pay attention to, it has happened another time, and I generally take care not to do it, but I have been trying to edge myself and build some stamina. It can also energise me if I don't finish, but if I do it's not very good for approaching.

I also have to say that there are some ups and downs during the week regarding how I feel. Meaning that I can get days where I don't feel in a particular good mood, I may get a lot of rejections, and generally these two feed on each other. Lifestyle choices are important for this, I have noticed for example that even if I feel a bit grumpy, after some good dancing or socialising I will feel better.

This previous part is probably what I find most important about social circles, friends, and particularly hanging out with women that genuinely appreciate your company. It keeps your spirit more elevated and lets you go through the rest of your life with some sense of abundance, maybe not in the sexual way, but surely in the social and life satisfaction way.

Approaching and Game Concerns

Regarding the game part though, I can't say I am very satisfied with how I feel about it. It's not even the results, I probably had about 250 approaches last month, 7 dates and 2 times I had sex, so for one month it's not bad for me, one of the girls was also pretty young and cute so even quality wise it wasn't bad.

So it's more about how it all plays out. It feels like I approach, approach, approach and I am trying to find the one/two women who will be into me enough to exchange contacts, then enough to come out on a date, and eventually enough to sleep with me on that date.

It doesn't feel like I am doing anything impressive apart from putting in the numbers really. I suppose I could say that even the fact I can escalate with those girls to sex is something, but it doesn't feel like I am seducing them, more like they happen to be open and I simply allow them to exercise it.

It's also the fact that I rarely feel particularly excited by most women at this point. Even if I see one that is attractive, I will generally feel that I can find so many more like her, and it basically makes me feel that they are all interchangeable.

I approach and I know that there is nothing particularly important about this specific girl. If she is hotter and classier I may desire her more, but I can recognise that this is because I just like her more compared to our environment, and even if I get to sleep with her, I will be happy for my success momentarily but, it wouldn't matter to me that much what happens after that.

Then there are also the girls that I approach, are fairly receptive, but then don't respond to the messages and go nowhere with me, so I am struggling to even enjoy the interactions in the moment, because I can feel in the end they mean nothing, whether good or bad.

It's like rolling a dice all the time and waiting for it to give you a 6 during the approach, then a 6 during the date planning, and eventually a 6 during the date itself, so that you can get to sex and enjoy each other. And then doing it again and again till you find the next one.

I honestly don't know what to get out of all this. I surely know that I rarely approach any more because I am truly excited for the girl and the idea of being with her. I noticed it in a club I was too, I was seeing some hot girls, I could feel for one or two that it would be really nice to be able to have sex with them more than the others, but nothing beyond that, I didn't feel I'd bother to try and spend a long time gaming them really.

And it's exactly because even if I succeeded they would just be another sex partner, even if a very hot one, with no particular importance compared to anyone else after sex. Just someone that happened to like me, was ready for sex and we had it.

Not that this is bad in principle, it just makes all women that could make me hard almost the same in a way, like ok if it's not you it will be some next one, it doesn't matter really.

If anyone reads this I'd like to hear some thoughts. I won't stop approaching, I prefer having sex than not and I prefer it with hot women than not, but I'm not sure if that's enough.

 

[bobbyb112]

It doesn't feel like I am doing anything impressive apart from putting in the numbers really.

It's like rolling a dice all the time and waiting for it to give you a 6

It seems like, from a skill-buildling perspective, it all still feels pretty random. Sure, you're getting some results, but it feels like the results are more or less random, and therefore you just have to do a high volume of approaches to get the desired outcome (number, date, sex). It's kind of boring, because it's just like sitting at a slot machine, waiting for the few times when your random lever-pulling comes up a winner. You know it will, but it is kind of mindless in the meantime. Which is boring, and doesn't feel like you're learning anything.

You can start to look for smaller signals from the girl, things you do, how well they work. Make predictions in your head before you do them, and try to predict what will happen, within an interaction, as well as after the interaction. For example: Will this tease have a good reaction? Is this girl looking to meet a guy or will she be closed off? Will this girl text back based on the interaction or not? Will she come out on a date or no?

Making these predictions, and testing different things to change the outcomes, is what makes the game interesting. This is where the real fun of learning game, or any other skill, is. This is the addicting part. Changing your techniques and tactics, making predictions, and seeing if you can improve the overall results (positive interactions, numbers, dates, lays, etc).

I like this article talking about this:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/want-get-good-make-predictions-your-head

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It seems like, from a skill-buildling perspective, it all still feels pretty random. Sure, you're getting some results, but it feels like the results are more or less random, and therefore you just have to do a high volume of approaches to get the desired outcome (number, date, sex). It's kind of boring, because it's just like sitting at a slot machine, waiting for the few times when your random lever-pulling comes up a winner. You know it will, but it is kind of mindless in the meantime. Which is boring, and doesn't feel like you're learning anything.

You can start to look for smaller signals from the girl, things you do, how well they work. Make predictions in your head before you do them, and try to predict what will happen, within an interaction, as well as after the interaction. For example: Will this tease have a good reaction? Is this girl looking to meet a guy or will she be closed off? Will this girl text back based on the interaction or not? Will she come out on a date or no?

Making these predictions, and testing different things to change the outcomes, is what makes the game interesting. This is where the real fun of learning game, or any other skill, is. This is the addicting part. Changing your techniques and tactics, making predictions, and seeing if you can improve the overall results (positive interactions, numbers, dates, lays, etc).

I like this article talking about this:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/want-get-good-make-predictions-your-head

The thing I have been trying to do this in general. My issue is I really struggle to see the patterns.

What I mean is that I get girls responding well to my approach that will or won't come to meet me again, without any clear distinction between why one or the other happens. Literally last week I had 2-3 girls that felt fairly interested when I approached, happily agreed to meet again and gave me their numbers and then I got no response after the first icebreaker text.

Other girls have reacted to me in a similar way, and after a similar texting strategy have come out with me, quite easily. So I can't seem to understand if there is even anything I can do to change this randomness.

Same with which girls come to the date open for sex. It doesn't seem that how easily they agree to the date matters, it may be that they just want a friend or boyfriend, while others would enjoy some sexual action indeed.

After the date starts, things seem to be getting more clear. If the girl seems open to be sexual it will generally happen, if not it won't, but it still doesn't feel I am really seducing her, more that I am making the right moves to give her what she already wants.

But at least my predictions at this stage of seduction seem to be getting better, my main issue is with early interactions where no matter what I try, it seems to change mainly the reactions of the girls and not the results. I still remember some of my best approaching days with a great vibe, getting multiple numbers, but eventually not getting any more dates than I got from my worse days with very few numbers.

And it's a problem, because I am reaching the point that even if a girl responds well and seems excited, I can't feel much excited myself, since I feel her reaction means nothing until we get alone together.

So I fully agree with what you say, it feels that any technique I try is just a form of attention grabbing that in the end doesn't matter much, which makes me wonder which techniques in fact give the results, and what i should even be trying to improve.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It was quite a fun last week. I didn't get any particular action but I got more than 15 numbers daygaming, and a bunch of them did respond and seem they would be potential meets. The scheduling part is a bit difficult, because there are times that girls have different free evenings than me, so I will see how many eventual meetings I will manage to plan.

The reason I say it was fun though is because of the general interactions I had and the density of good ones. I don't think I approached more than 50-60 girls, so getting the number of 1 out of 4 is pretty good, especially when I approach without any IOIs and some girls happen to be in relationships too.

I was thinking if I did anything particularly different this week, and I honestly don't think that behaviour wise I changed a lot. Maybe some of my stops were a bit stronger, but I also had interactions that didn't feel that good too. The one thing I did do is that I had a haircut and cut my beard as well, so I was really wondering if this could have made such a difference.

Because it wasn't even just the numbers, a bunch of the interactions were weirdly positive.

I had a girl sitting at a bus stop talking to the phone, I approached and she instantly told to the person on the phone she will call later and focused on me completely. Then she told me via text she is very busy these days and doesn't have any time for a drink, but anyway, it was still an interesting interaction. I had another girl the same day in fact talking to the phone that I approached when we exited the same bus, and she instantly gave me her number showing that she was busy but we could catch up another time. This one did answer two three times and even told me she would like to meet but now she has been silent for two days after my date proposal. Really funny phone interactions though, in approaches I could have just skipped thinking they are busy.

I also had a girl in another bus stop that I approached, she was sitting at a bench, there was no place for me to sit so I was standing next to her, and at some point she stood up for no obvious reason since her bus wasn't coming yet. And I was thinking, is she autocomplying by making herself more uncomfortable to not feel that I am the only uncomfortable one standing? I have planned a date with this one for tomorrow, so we'll see.

I also had another girl walking fairly fast at night around my area that I stopped, we ended up being from the same country, and also felt particularly eager to meet. We couldn't really find a common free day with her after exchanging different options, so we said we'll see if we both feel like meeting tonight after we are finished with our stuff.

I also got the number of a girl that was speaking almost no english, used some google translate, she told me she has kids but no husband, so I wrote her: So we can flirt shamelessly. We talked about meeting maybe in 2 weeks due to our schedules, not even sure how this will work planning wise, but whatever, she answered to my text a bit earlier today, so she still feels into it.

To continue with the interesting approaches this one was a bit metaphysical. Yesterday morning I saw the whatsapp story of a girl I had approached more than a year ago and never got out. On it she was with two friends, and looking at them I felt that I liked one of her friends more. Later that day I was walking in the city and saw two classy looking girls walking and window-shopping. And as I approached them I realised it was that girl I had the number of, with that friend I liked more. Funny thing is that the girl I had approached in the past felt quite worse after a bunch of plastic surgeries on her face, while the other one was more natural.

I opened them recognising that they are window-shopping, and they told me: yeah maybe you can buy us something. I told them, maybe they can buy me, there are these lovely heels there, very classy, but not too high, I think I'd walk them perfectly. Then I got told that it's not how it works, the guy is the one who buys things, so I said ah in my experience it's the opposite, girls always buy me things, what to do.

There was a small silence there, so I expressed my interest to the friend, and after some basic chit chat we started walking together the three of us, we exchanged some information, I felt that the girl I had approached in the past was the more testy one, but it was smooth, I was keeping some silences too, like I was a natural part of the group. At some point they said they'd stop and take a tram from a stop we were passing, so I said to the friend before you go, I'd like to see you again, and she was like sure why not. I asked for her number, she gave me her business card with it, joked that this was too professional, saw she was an actress, I told her that's interesting I am kind of one myself maybe she will be useful, she said we could talk about business too, and I said yeah that's not really my point of talking to you really, let's take care of the chill stuff first. She did answer my icebreaker, so who knows. It's not even that she is some incredibly good-looking one, but it was still interesting how it worked out after seeing her in the morning and thinking yeah I'd go for her.

And after that, inside the main train station, I approached with a lot of positive energy a girl that looked very classy, and she responded with my name... I asked her if we had met, and she told me I talked to her and complimented her some time ago, and then I said sure if you looked like this I would have done it, and I do remember now. Then she said how they say that you sometimes may meet twice, and I said that yeah it's fate sometimes it brings you together.

I then asked few questions about how she has been and what she is up to to build some connection, because honestly she was looking me with dreamy eyes like the whole universe was giving her a sign we are made for each other. I asked about her number, she told me I have it and went to our whatsapp chat and sent me a text to reignite the conversation. I told her this week is busy for me but we can keep in touch and catch up, and she said, yeah text me at whatsapp, I'm available. I did text her later, realised she had flaked on me in the past, but I do feel there is a huge chance she will come out now.

I'd say the worst thing through all this is managing all these numbers, and somehow finding time to allocate for each one of the girls, at least it is a good problem to have. Not that they will all come out eventually, who knows, maybe I will sleep with none of them, it wouldn't really surprise me too much, as I have said before, until we really get together it is not over.

It was still a good time though, and I didn't even allocate a lot of time going around to approach. A number of these girls were ones I caught going around for every day tasks. And even when allocating more time, it is good to be having some nice results during it, especially when they are in a variety of scenarios: walking girl, sitting girl, standing girl, girl with phone, girl with earbuds, girl with a friend. Although I know validation has to be internal, I can't lie that it does feel good if a bunch of interactions go well.

I also approached three really young and beautiful girls outside a club at night. That was an interesting one because I was walking around the area with a backpack since I was outside earlier for some other reason, so my whole vibe was totally off with the 2am nightclub one, but thought who cares.

These girls were 9s at least, very beautiful faces, thin and tall, and the funny thing is I treated them as silly and cute by default. I mean I approached one of them I liked more and focused on her mostly. Then there was another guy that came in asking for her number and her friends number. I felt some anxiety in my body and some fight or flight feeling, but I stayed in being generally chill, trying to make it feel like he was weird for jumping in. My girl had told me she was 2 when I asked her age, and when the guy came in I kinda mentioned it, and he went like yeah I'm into that, so I said ok not my problem, making a face showing how strange that was. When he tried to take the friend's number I told my girl that he really doesn't care and would sleep with any of them, and my girl told me: Wouldn't you?, and I told her: Do you see me talking to your friends or to you?

After some seconds another guy came in with a lot of energy kinda inviting them to another party, he basically side hugged me, I did it back, gave him a compliment, then he was like let's go to the party, tried to drag me by the arm, I stayed there. At that point though the girls started expressing they didn't want me there. In fact the friend that wasn't talking at all suddenly went into a long and elaborate speech about how they all have boyfriends are ready to get married, and I should go talk to some other girls. I waited for her to finish and then said: how much have you prepared this? it felt like you are saying it every night, and they bursted out laughing. Then there was a little more back and forth for few seconds telling me what I am even doing with a backpack clubbing like that, I said no I am not clubbing, could have said something more playful there, their uber came eventually and they left to go home, so I wished them good night and walked away.

It was interesting because I felt mostly unfazed by what they were throwing at me, I honestly couldn't take them seriously and felt they were silly and cute. My issue I suppose is I don't know how to run the interaction verbally when they initially are not much into me in order to turn the tables, that's something I should look into, because what happens a lot is I start thinking what would be the best way to respond and it can feel like I am getting into my head and really try to make the interaction work.

I think I am starting to get why guys like younger women too. I feel I am getting more interested myself in younger girls as well. At least the dynamic of being with a girl that feels so pure and expresses herself in such a cute and silly way seems quite fun, it's like they have a feminine energy that is not restrained by all the burdens life puts on them when they get older. And of course their bodies are nice, but I always saw that, I think I am starting to feel way more protective towards them in a sexual way.

I also think I am generally starting to be way more relaxed about having hot female friends. In a way I know there are so many hot women out there that having some you care about, playfully flirt with and connect, but don't have sex doesn't seem like an issue. Of course having some girls you sleep with through all that is important. I don't think I could do it if I stopped approaching and didn't have the possibility to bring new girls in my life. And also there are some girls that you just find very hot, that said I do feel that in the end I happen to meet so many similarly attractive girls outside, that I am fine with getting some and not getting some others.

I approached one girl in fact during the night without realising in the beginning that I had seen in a dancing event I had been. Tall, pretty, nice body, boobs and butt, I had thought inside the event that she was really hot and I'd love to get with her. When I stopped her, I stayed silent for few seconds looking at her, as I was processing whether it was really her or not, and this made the whole interaction a bit weird. Asked her if we had met, she said no, then told her she looked lovely, she said thanks laughing and that she had to go and kept walking. The thing I realised though as she was leaving was that if I had no previous idea who she was, this interaction wouldn't have meant anything at all. She was a cute looking girl like tons of others I have talked to throughout the day.

And this really puts things into perspective regarding the power of cold approach. Because in a closed environment 2-3 hot girls will really look like they are some sort of rare creatures that you have to do your best to capture. But when you go out, you realise they are more or less everywhere, and you can appreciate and even care for them without needing them. It is really a world full of beauty and as long as you are there truly seeing it, it will see you back.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

General life situation and thoughts

This last week was quite busy mentally and physically.

With mentally I mostly mean that I had some interview rejections which affected me, so on some days I really wasn't feeling it. I had a date I will discuss further down, and when I was getting ready for it, I could feel probably the least excited I've been for a date in a long time.

Good thing is that I had some good news about other positions towards the end of the week, so my mood got fairly fixed, and we'll see how it goes. It's a good lesson though, because I have to realise that no matter how crucial it is to find a job this summer, it's not the end of the world even if it doesn't happen. A bit difficult when you see no options in the moment, but no matter how it looks now, there are always opportunities and ways to go about it. Saying it to myself in case I get bad news again, that in the end it will be fine, I will survive somehow, and there are many ways to get wherever eventually want to.

Apart from that, I had a dance competition this weekend, so spent basically all of it in a huge hall with hunderds of people either dancing or looking at them dance and then going home to rest a bit for the next day. I also trained a bit the days before that, and eventually didn't approach much during the week. Still got about 5 numbers maybe, but didn't feel that strong.

The good thing is that the event was nice, had never competed before, was in the lowest category in the first part and reached the final, so it was a good result, judging I had decided to only stick to the basics and do them well.

Regarding seduction it got me thinking some things too. Firstly, for some reason I felt that the girls I would have wanted to sleep more were either judges or very good dancers from the highest categories. I mean of course I found them hot too, but there is something about successful and talented women that makes it work for me sexually. It is a different question though how you would be able to do it as a low level dancer in this environment, I feel it should be in a way that the skill itself is not involved much.

This is one reason I like cold approaching a lot by the way. I feel it is easier to sleep with women that are hot and successful outside of the circle where they are successful and have a lot of status. It makes me think sometimes how much you even need to be successful yourself, and this is something I have not figured out exactly. I suppose being attractive and sexy doesn't need you to have any credentials, and you can use frame control to seduce, it probably does help a bit though to be great at something even if it is only for your inner game.

Thoughts on my approaching recordings

Regarding my approaches, as I said not that many, still though it is positive I got some nice interactions and contacts through all this. I also recorded myself for the first time during a session. I used a recorder with a microphone attached inside my shirt and it worked fairly well.

That day I recorded was also not a a very bad day, but also not very good regarding my mood, an average day I would say. So it was a good chance to check how I sound and listening to the approaches the first thing I felt is that they didn't sound as bad as I had feared.

I did notice few things though. One is I am using a lot of filler words like: like, well, so. I know the reason I am doing this is sometimes to not let the interaction get to a total silence, because I feel if it happens in the first moments, the girl will just excuse herself and leave. I also felt that it somehow makes the interaction more human, and I don't look super smooth which could be intimidating. But I don't think that any of these make sense. If the girl wants to leave, trying to extend the phrases and not leave conversational gaps in this way will not help, and also hotter and more socially adept women would also enjoy me being a better communicator leaving the right pauses and talking with more conviction. I have it in my mind to reduce it.

The other thing I felt is that generally the way I talk, although my voice is fairly deep, seems like it is a bit out of energy. Not sure how to explain it exactly, I think I take short breaths in my lungs that don't go all the way to the belly, and the voice feels like it comes out and then at the end of the word there is a sharp ending. This is more about relaxing in the moment taking my time to have full breaths and not try to rush the conversation, not only in terms of speed, but also in terms of non grounded-ness. It felt that the way I speak is not so grounded a lot of times, but more up there at the throat.

And connected to this previous part, it did feel sometimes that this lack of energy felt like asking for permission or coming from a low value frame. I know I tend to do this deliberately if I am going for an inconvenient stop for example to show I am not just trying to bulldoze her, but it also happens when I am in low momentum and mood, and basically my approaches feel weak, like I am really happy to talk to the girl, but in a needy way. I understand how this should sound, and as I said the main things affecting it is how virile, in great spirit I feel and sure of myself during the approach I feel, and these can fluctuate. But apart from keeping myself in a good state day to day by how I take care of myself, I should have it in my mind, that women want someone who is certain of what he goes for.

I think I sometimes have this issue in later stages of seduction too, and it's funny because generally I can be pretty bold, I am not afraid to do it, but I have lost women and have had bad reactions by pushing too hard too early. So I am trying to find ways to still move things forward but more smoothly and taking into account the pace the girl is comfortable with, I do feel that sometimes though I lack the killer instinct and going for the result hard.

This is something I had more in the past, and i can notice it because I would way more easily push to get a girl home from the first date location, or from the train or the street, I was very much about ok we talked a bit, let's go home. I suppose it's a part of learning how to calibrate, I do wonder though, what really is effective and what I should be going for regarding the desired speed of the seduction.

Date

And here I will connect it with the date I had. Cute girl, came dressed very casually, told me she had an important presentation at work that morning, so she was quite stressed the previous days and fairly tired. She did have a nice energy though and I could feel she liked me.

We sat at the usual open air bar I am taking them, there was a bunch of touching from my side, some from hers, we connected, deep dived, she seemed to really be into me, our drinks were over so I made a weak attempt to invite her home and she said let's do that next time and have another drink now. Now I say weak, because I could feel she probably wasn't at that place yet, but I wanted to mention it casually to see her reaction.

After that we got a bit into what kind of guy/girl we like. I never mentioned anything about sex explicitly, so it's probable I painted myself as too much of a boyfriend, and I could have stated something like I love when we coonnect well and have great sexual chemistry. I had mentioned earlier things about living in the moment, talked about being adventurous and spontaneous, and generally my plan in my last days has been to talk about sex as little as possible to see if I can reduce ASD, and take them home seamlessly with my indirect frame setting and sexual vibe. It has worked with other girls, not sure if it is the best way to go about it though, maybe mentioning sex a bit as a bait and seeing how she reacts and responds to it is a good thing to have in mind. Because if she is receptive it is a good chance to set some good frames without going overboard.

Anyway, we walked from the bar, went to a spot with a nice view I am usually taking them, gave a kiss, then we walked back and we passed from my place since we were walking the same way, told her the door is open, she told me another time, we gave another kiss and she left. All the kisses, maybe 4-5 at most during the date were short and only with lips, I was trying to check how she is responding to them, and generally I wanted to not give her too much, but mostly just a taste and a tease.

After the date she almost instantly sent a message thanking me and saying she enjoyed the time a lot. I responded saying I enjoyed too, then she took 3-4 to write back she had lost her voice and wishing me fun for the competition, and now she hasn't replied to my next message yet.

The thing is I guess I could go for a second date and try to move things forward, it felt like the first one was good, but I am still not satisfied. It feels like I just had a date that led nowhere, and now I have to go to another one to see if I can sleep with her. And if she is not ready again, then what, another one?

Thoughts on dating

I started not fully pressuring things for the first date because I was thinking maybe some girls are not ready and need more time, but now I am wondering if this more time is something I even want myself. I think I really prefer doing my best to sleep with the girl on the first day and burning it down completely, compared to letting her leave even with a good impression, but then having to spend that much time again trying to take her to bed on the second date, when I could do the same with a new one.

My thinking process is that probably the new one will be easier to sleep with on the first date than the old will be on the second, because the one on the second date may even try to take things slowly, since now we already have an experience of going out together but not sleeping together.

Also I really still feel like I am giving false hopes to women I don't sleep on the first date with but go out again, that this may lead to something more. I know that it most probably won't but it feels off to just tell a girl on the first date that no I am not looking for anything serious, just fun, or that I am dating around and have many girls I see but I don't want to get exclusive.

I feel it is a bit of a moral and practical dilemma. How clear should I be that I am not looking for a relationship if I want quick sex? Should I try to go full lover and set frames of me not being monogamous or exclusive, or does it make sense to approach it more like dating and seeing how we vibe and enjoy each other as the time goes. I usually say something along the lines of this last sentence, but almost every time afterwards I regret it, since I really feel that the possibility we will meet again and again and have something more develop is almost zero.

Even time wise, right now I have 2-3 dates planned for this week with other girls, who knows how next weeks will be and how many busy days I will have too. Just meeting a girl a second time feels difficult and not exciting enough to plan, I can't imagine meeting her again and again, when I can always use these same days to meet new ones.

I don't know how all this sounds, I'd like some third opinion regarding it because I am really not sure if something is very wrong in the way I see it. Basically I started being fine with going to second dates to maximise the possibility of the lay, but now I am thinking I may just not be sexual enough and end up spending more time on girls that either will sleep with me too slowly for me to even bother or will hope for more that I know I won't give them.

Someone could ask, wouldn't I get into a relationship no matter which girl I found right now? I was thinking about that, and the answer is probably no, mostly because I don't see the point of investing that much time in a girl at this point of my life at least. Even if it was some sort of one-sided monogamy, it would still probably frustrate me that I have to come back home and take care of her emotions.

Anyway it is something that has been bothering me, I do love all these women I go out with, I would love to sleep with them, I wouldn't mind sleeping with them more, maybe also spend some time at bed together, talk a bit and eat something, but then go to our days and maybe meet again another time or not. It seems that for me somehow after the first time we sleep together I feel complete, and whether it happens again doesn't even matter much. If it is convenient why not, but if not there are so many other girls to explore.

For now I have a date tomorrow. I think the frame I will stick with for now is the great connection and chemistry together with amazing sex. Because it is what I would truly enjoy. And regarding dating, maybe meeting women and if we enjoy our time together we can meet again is what I should have in mind.

 

[gameboy]

Regarding the girl from the date: I believe youre still overthinking it. The question of a relationship doesnt even come up until you fucked her 3 or 5 times, or more. And if you decide to only do it once with this one then it will never come up. But you wont even get to the point of making that decision until you fucked her at least once .. am I making sense?

She even told you "lets do that next time" so she basically gave you a green light. Would be a pity to waste that. Probably she just doesnt want to appear too easy. You can always ask her after sex if you really want to know.

If you dont feel like wasting time taking her out again, you could even try inviting her directly to your place for d2. Not something I've done before (or maybe I don't remember it now off the top of my head), but I've seen it mentioned here and on GC a lot so I'm sure it can work. Should also be a good filter for the not-dtf ones.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Regarding the girl from the date: I believe youre still overthinking it. The question of a relationship doesnt even come up until you fucked her 3 or 5 times, or more. And if you decide to only do it once with this one then it will never come up. But you wont even get to the point of making that decision until you fucked her at least once .. am I making sense?

She even told you "lets do that next time" so she basically gave you a green light. Would be a pity to waste that. Probably she just doesnt want to appear too easy. You can always ask her after sex if you really want to know.

If you dont feel like wasting time taking her out again, you could even try inviting her directly to your place for d2. Not something I've done before, but I've seen it mentioned here and on GC a lot so I'm sure it can work. Should also be a good filter for the not-dtf ones.

Yeah I get what you mean. Will probably try to meet her again, I just feel that the more dates happen without sleeping together the less probable it is and also the less excited I am about it.

It is also an issue of what to do next time indeed. I mean ok we had a drink, should we go have some food or another drink? I honestly feel that the whole second date will just be something to do until I invite her home again. I mean what other frames could I set, my cards are on the table already, unless I really go the route of more sex talk, which I am afraid may cause her to resist to it more.

Maybe it makes sense to invite her over and if she says no let's meet outside, to just go for another drink and then try to pull. And if it doesn't work, just forget about her. I feel it may get too obvious that the main point of meeting again is to eventually have sex, and not sure how she will take that but it's probably the best bet.

And in fact the two times I brought a girl home directly for a second date we didn't sleep together, but whatever probably doesn't hurt to try again.

 

[AspiringStoic]

@ChrisXKiss

In relation to your Thoughts on Dating bit:

To be honest, I would not worry about that unless you have 4-5 girls who you have slept with obssessed with you and desperately hounding you for a relationship and you having to tell them to stop being so obssessed with you.

This is the still slim guy worrying about becoming "too big and too muscular" accidently if he just went to the gym regularly thing.

Its fucking really really hard to become too muscular and in the same way really hard to get to a stage where you are such a pimp/player where girls are chasing you like crazy.

Reality is even after you sleep with them, most of them will fall off and only a few might want to continue seeing you.

You will definitely be heart broken more often than you will be breaking girls' hearts.

You can worry about it when (if) you get there. Till then just do your thing and try to sleep with the girls you want to sleep with.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Reality is even after you sleep with them, most of them will fall off and only a few might want to continue seeing you.

This is relaxing in a way. Maybe I really should focus way less on taking care of their emotions. I don't know if I am delusional or anything, it just feels normal for me that if we get together they will want to see me again more than I will want to see them again.

At least I haven't had a girl that I have been sexual with that I really wanted to meet again yet. Not sure if this means anything or it is totally random that it hasn't happened.

2 flakes today by the way. One with the girl I had the date planned, another with a girl from online that was staying in the city for a day and we planned earlier today to meet.

Honestly it is mostly frustrating not for the rejection but because of the allocated time for the date and the change of schedule that has to happen.

Anyway, one girl comes, one goes, the world never runs out of them.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Small update since I have some free time.

Life situation not much different, some uncertainty, at least some free time to game too, my plan is to go out today and tomorrow for some heavy volume.

Date

I went to a date on Thursday. The girl was older but looked quite cute. Sadly she seems to have a bunch of issues with intimacy. She immediately told me in the date that she needs her own safe space and doesn't like being touched, and when I eventually made a move for a kiss after a while that we were connecting well, she almost jumped away instantly.

She had this whole vibe that everyone is hitting on her and touching her when she doesn't want that, and that all guys would basically sleep with her because of her body, and only 3 times a guy she went out with didn't want to kiss her.

Anyway, her whole thing was that she needs her time and she will kiss me when she wants to. I didn't even try to break through all that, there was no point, we were vibing well and she was enjoying herself, she is probably just so burnt by men that doesn't want to let anyone close fast.

Of course all that is not ideal, I may ask her out again just to go have some food together or anything else I would anyway do, so that she keeps me company but I don't lose time from anything else.

That said, I do wonder sometimes where I go and find these people. Even if we stay as friends or whatever I don't really mind, she may decide to sleep with me at some point, but I am not having any particular goals or hopes for this one, whatever happens happens.

Texting

At the same time, it's fascinating how the contacts drop out one by one for various reasons. I've had girls for example that were in the middle of the exams, never responded to my message through that although they felt interested in person, or even told me they have no time now and let's connect later but then never reconnected. I may send some mass texts this next week to resurrect some of these numbers, it's a bit of hassle though to constantly have in your mind who stopped answering when, and when it's the best time to reconnect, with all these numbers and busy schedule in the middle.

Other girls just had to take trips, for work or for vacation, so even though they felt into me, they disappeared for a week or more and then connecting again is not the most sure thing. I will also try to keep in touch with these ones, who knows.

Of course there are also the ones that never respond, the ones that just stop responding for no reason, and the ones that find another guy or remember they just recently broke up and are not ready for me.

The strangest message by far though was one by a girl I may get on a date with eventually. She responded 5 days after my voice message proposal to go out, writing an "UPS" and then sending a picture of her hand in the nail salon telling me it's taking so long to finish them.

After this one I have decided to not try to make sense regarding how they respond, what their timing is or whatever. I will keep following my process of sending 2-3 messages, proposing to go out and then pinging 2-3 times if needed, calibrating a bit to each case, and whoever comes out comes out.

I say this last one, because I ended up having 3 flakes this week, which bothers me mostly because I don't like double booking dates, so they take a part of my schedule that could have been proposed to another less flakey girl.

Instant Date

Anyway, I still find things to do during that flake time. Yesterday for example, I was outside, made some approaches, didn't have the best vibe so decided to go home and rest a bit to get out again later, but then I saw a girl waiting for a tram to go home and took her to an instant date.

It was funny because I found her exactly outside my place, so I initially I proposed to go up and have a drink, she didn't want to so i took her to an open bar nearby I take all my dates. We vibed, got into sexual topics, I was fairly forward and open with her in general, to the point she asked me what is my ideal relationship type and I talked about one sided monogamy and why it works because men and women treat cheating differently.

I was very raw and unfiltered, we discussed a bit about kinks and fetishes too, I then proposed we went to my place, she was very hesitant, and I almost managed to convince her but then she asked if I had a balcony, I said no, and she found the perfect excuse to stay there because she wanted to smoke.

So we had another drink, she was saying she was enjoying me, I was truly no fucks given, I pulled her in 3 times for short kisses at random moments, she was giving them but wasn't very into them, and my whole vibe was that I was going for what I wanted, the last time I even told her that I wanted to see if she is good with her tongue too.

The time passed, we finished and parted ways with a hug. I don't think I'll see her again by the way, I think I overwhelmed her too much yesterday, by how intensely I escalated things in 1-2 hours, and how much "I'm gonna take what I want, and what I want is you" my vibe was.

The thing is I could have kept it all a bit more relaxed, I simply feel I had had enough with dates that I am trying to go with the girl's pace, and maybe frame myself the right ways that speak to her, or give her the time she wants, that I truly wanted to go fully the other way of "this is what I want, I express it openly, and if you stay for it good".

General dating

And in a way, I enjoyed this date more than a lot of others I've been to lately. Of course it would have been better if I slept with her too, but I generally feel that this type of dating where I go fully and openly sexual from date one and the girl either buys into it or doesn't see me again is something I prefer way more than having a good time in the first date, then thinking how to plan to meet again, and basically having more and more dates just waiting for when the girl is ready to have sex.

For this second type of dating by the way, the girl that I kissed on the first date last week, and told me how much she enjoyed it, has not even responded to my last two texts, and this doesn't help with finding effectiveness in second dates in general.

So to conclude, my plan is not to just go and bulldoze women from the time we meet all the way to my bed, but I do intend to express way more sexuality, and invite them home strongly, of course calibrating and not pushing too hard if they are not there. But if after a drink, and a walk, and some more connecting coming closer, they are not ready to come to my place, I will be writing them off and any further meeting will be as simple and convenient as possible and just a bonus if it leads anywhere.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Small update since I have some free time.

Life situation not much different, some uncertainty, at least some free time to game too, my plan is to go out today and tomorrow for some heavy volume.

Date

I went to a date on Thursday. The girl was older but looked quite cute. Sadly she seems to have a bunch of issues with intimacy. She immediately told me in the date that she needs her own safe space and doesn't like being touched, and when I eventually made a move for a kiss after a while that we were connecting well, she almost jumped away instantly.

She had this whole vibe that everyone is hitting on her and touching her when she doesn't want that, and that all guys would basically sleep with her because of her body, and only 3 times a guy she went out with didn't want to kiss her.

Anyway, her whole thing was that she needs her time and she will kiss me when she wants to. I didn't even try to break through all that, there was no point, we were vibing well and she was enjoying herself, she is probably just so burnt by men that doesn't want to let anyone close fast.

Of course all that is not ideal, I may ask her out again just to go have some food together or anything else I would anyway do, so that she keeps me company but I don't lose time from anything else.

That said, I do wonder sometimes where I go and find these people. Even if we stay as friends or whatever I don't really mind, she may decide to sleep with me at some point, but I am not having any particular goals or hopes for this one, whatever happens happens.

Texting

At the same time, it's fascinating how the contacts drop out one by one for various reasons. I've had girls for example that were in the middle of the exams, never responded to my message through that although they felt interested in person, or even told me they have no time now and let's connect later but then never reconnected. I may send some mass texts this next week to resurrect some of these numbers, it's a bit of hassle though to constantly have in your mind who stopped answering when, and when it's the best time to reconnect, with all these numbers and busy schedule in the middle.

Other girls just had to take trips, for work or for vacation, so even though they felt into me, they disappeared for a week or more and then connecting again is not the most sure thing. I will also try to keep in touch with these ones, who knows.

Of course there are also the ones that never respond, the ones that just stop responding for no reason, and the ones that find another guy or remember they just recently broke up and are not ready for me.

The strangest message by far though was one by a girl I may get on a date with eventually. She responded 5 days after my voice message proposal to go out, writing an "UPS" and then sending a picture of her hand in the nail salon telling me it's taking so long to finish them.

After this one I have decided to not try to make sense regarding how they respond, what their timing is or whatever. I will keep following my process of sending 2-3 messages, proposing to go out and then pinging 2-3 times if needed, calibrating a bit to each case, and whoever comes out comes out.

I say this last one, because I ended up having 3 flakes this week, which bothers me mostly because I don't like double booking dates, so they take a part of my schedule that could have been proposed to another less flakey girl.

Instant Date

Anyway, I still find things to do during that flake time. Yesterday for example, I was outside, made some approaches, didn't have the best vibe so decided to go home and rest a bit to get out again later, but then I saw a girl waiting for a tram to go home and took her to an instant date.

It was funny because I found her exactly outside my place, so I initially I proposed to go up and have a drink, she didn't want to so i took her to an open bar nearby I take all my dates. We vibed, got into sexual topics, I was fairly forward and open with her in general, to the point she asked me what is my ideal relationship type and I talked about one sided monogamy and why it works because men and women treat cheating differently.

I was very raw and unfiltered, we discussed a bit about kinks and fetishes too, I then proposed we went to my place, she was very hesitant, and I almost managed to convince her but then she asked if I had a balcony, I said no, and she found the perfect excuse to stay there because she wanted to smoke.

So we had another drink, she was saying she was enjoying me, I was truly no fucks given, I pulled her in 3 times for short kisses at random moments, she was giving them but wasn't very into them, and my whole vibe was that I was going for what I wanted, the last time I even told her that I wanted to see if she is good with her tongue too.

The time passed, we finished and parted ways with a hug. I don't think I'll see her again by the way, I think I overwhelmed her too much yesterday, by how intensely I escalated things in 1-2 hours, and how much "I'm gonna take what I want, and what I want is you" my vibe was.

The thing is I could have kept it all a bit more relaxed, I simply feel I had had enough with dates that I am trying to go with the girl's pace, and maybe frame myself the right ways that speak to her, or give her the time she wants, that I truly wanted to go fully the other way of "this is what I want, I express it openly, and if you stay for it good".

General dating

And in a way, I enjoyed this date more than a lot of others I've been to lately. Of course it would have been better if I slept with her too, but I generally feel that this type of dating where I go fully and openly sexual from date one and the girl either buys into it or doesn't see me again is something I prefer way more than having a good time in the first date, then thinking how to plan to meet again, and basically having more and more dates just waiting for when the girl is ready to have sex.

For this second type of dating by the way, the girl that I kissed on the first date last week, and told me how much she enjoyed it, has not even responded to my last two texts, and this doesn't help with finding effectiveness in second dates in general.

So to conclude, my plan is not to just go and bulldoze women from the time we meet all the way to my bed, but I do intend to express way more sexuality, and invite them home strongly, of course calibrating and not pushing too hard if they are not there. But if after a drink, and a walk, and some more connecting coming closer, they are not ready to come to my place, I will be writing them off and any further meeting will be as simple and convenient as possible and just a bonus if it leads anywhere.

When it comes to women and dating there is far more to be gained by being bold than there is to lose!

Even if you lose some women by being bold, your boldness and assertiveness will get you laid more than being cautious.

Always err on the side of boldness when it comes to women. This is something I have learned from tons and tons of fuck ups and a good many successes.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

When it comes to women and dating there is far more to be gained by being bold than there is to lose!

Even if you lose some women by being bold, your boldness and assertiveness will get you laid more than being cautious.

Always err on the side of boldness when it comes to women. This is something I have learned from tons and tons of fuck ups and a good many successes.

Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a strange case, because when I started dating, I was failing due to being too bold and going too fast.

Before getting my first lay, I had a woman I tried to kiss 7 times during a date and she kept rejecting me, I had another that I kept moving closer to thoughout the date to the point she told me she felt uncomfortable, and another that I was so playful and sexual with that gave me LMR for only wanting sex and didn't sleep with me.

So you can imagine I started even doubting how much boldness is good and whether I should spend more time connecting with them and slow down.

I think since then, my whole dating experience has been a back and forth between getting too bold, sexual and going after what I want, and getting too nice, connecting and following her pace.

I feel that as the time passes, I generally converge towards the optimal middle ground, but it still has times that I go too much towards one way and have to overcorrect.

For example, I used to talk about sex every time in the past, I would just reach a point in the date that i would discuss how I view sex and how important it is for me. Then I started feeling that maybe this is too much for some girls, and I started trying to connect with them, while having a more non-verbal sexual energy, and I pulled girls without mentioning sex at all.

But now I do feel I have started overdoing that too, basically not even mentioning it like it is some taboo and the whole seduction has to be totally indirect. Which makes no sense, and isn't even something I particularly like. I also think I have reached the point where I can calibrate to the girl a bit and don't need absolute rules.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a strange case, because when I started dating, I was failing due to being too bold and going too fast.

Before getting my first lay, I had a woman I tried to kiss 7 times during a date and she kept rejecting me, I had another that I kept moving closer to thoughout the date to the point she told me she felt uncomfortable, and another that I was so playful and sexual with that gave me LMR for only wanting sex and didn't sleep with me.

So you can imagine I started even doubting how much boldness is good and whether I should spend more time connecting with them and slow down.

I think since then, my whole dating experience has been a back and forth between getting too bold, sexual and going after what I want, and getting too nice, connecting and following her pace.

I feel that as the time passes, I generally converge towards the optimal middle ground, but it still has times that I go too much towards one way and have to overcorrect.

For example, I used to talk about sex every time in the past, I would just reach a point in the date that i would discuss how I view sex and how important it is for me. Then I started feeling that maybe this is too much for some girls, and I started trying to connect with them, while having a more non-verbal sexual energy, and I pulled girls without mentioning sex at all.

But now I do feel I have started overdoing that too, basically not even mentioning it like it is some taboo and the whole seduction has to be totally indirect. Which makes no sense, and isn't even something I particularly like. I also think I have reached the point where I can calibrate to the girl a bit and don't need absolute rules.

Okay I see where you are coming from. I came from the opposite side. I was always very polite and comfortable socially. Every girl would feel really comfortable around me and my basic social skills were on point. What I missed was the "edge". That sexual nature that would make girls view me as a sexual option and not a friend.

My journey was( and still is) to develop that sexual edge very well. The rapport, comfort part is very easy for me. So I already have that base and I need to sprinkle more and more of the boldness and sexuality.

But in trying to do so I have also on occassion overdone it and lost girls but I have still found that being more bold has always over the long run gotten better results than being less bold.

Its not even about boldness. The frame I use is

"if this girl was going to sleep with me regardless of what I say and do on the date, then how would I behave?"

This brings out your "natural" personality because now you are not worried about this outcome.

Or a better frame that works for me is:

"If this girl was never going to sleep with me or come out on a second date regardless of what I do. Then how would I behave?"

Here there is no outcome. There is no future. All you have is the date. The present. That 1 or 2 hours.

What are you going to do? What are you going to talk about?

Because you just have to have fun and entertain yourself since this is not going to continue anyway. You are never going to see her again.

These things bring out our true passions and true desires. And when we act in accordance with them, we are congruent and at our attractive best.

 

[bobbyb112]

After this one I have decided to not try to make sense regarding how they respond, what their timing is or whatever. I will keep following my process of sending 2-3 messages, proposing to go out and then pinging 2-3 times if needed, calibrating a bit to each case, and whoever comes out comes out.

I think it is better not to try to make sense of a girl's life logistics of meeting up. It happens to me, too, where I'm busy doing things, and finding a day for a date with a new girl is difficult, so I just stop responding. Girls are the same way. Busy with random work, school, hobby, family, social obligations. Life is just busy for everyone. The answer, then, is to have a system for following up to stay on girls' radar, and if/when she is ready for a date it can happen.

I'm not the best at this casual text follow up pings. But I think in one of the articles, he basically just a mass-texts numbers he has gotten over time on Sunday nights. See who responds, and turn those into dates for the week. That way, instead of worrying about individual numbers, you're just mass texting all of them, and seeing who is up for a date that week. I have not done this, but I like the idea. Is there an article somewhere talking about this mass text approach?

I feel that as the time passes, I generally converge towards the optimal middle ground, but it still has times that I go too much towards one way and have to overcorrect.

I love that you are experimenting with under-boldness and over-boldness. I'm trying to do this myself. Love reading this.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think it is better not to try to make sense of a girl's life logistics of meeting up. It happens to me, too, where I'm busy doing things, and finding a day for a date with a new girl is difficult, so I just stop responding. Girls are the same way. Busy with random work, school, hobby, family, social obligations. Life is just busy for everyone. The answer, then, is to have a system for following up to stay on girls' radar, and if/when she is ready for a date it can happen.

I'm not the best at this casual text follow up pings. But I think in one of the articles, he basically just a mass-texts numbers he has gotten over time on Sunday nights. See who responds, and turn those into dates for the week. That way, instead of worrying about individual numbers, you're just mass texting all of them, and seeing who is up for a date that week. I have not done this, but I like the idea. Is there an article somewhere talking about this mass text approach?

Yeah I also experience that when being busy.

And I do send some mass texts from time to time. Depends a bit on when was the last communication and what it was about, so I try to tailor it to the situation somehow, but generally I do send some pings trying to see who could be available.

I simply felt that this is not particularly exciting as a process, and wanted to optimise the ways to text after the interaction for the best results, because after a while I feel the probability of eventually meeting decreases a lot. I literally forget most of them in a week or two, and sometimes don't even text to reconnect, because I have new ones texting and not enough time to start planning things with everyone.

I love that you are experimenting with under-boldness and over-boldness. I'm trying to do this myself. Love reading this.

Glad you enjoy! We'll see how it goes, my goal is basically to find the best way to prime girls for sex fast. Meaning either the first time we meet if we get an isolation/instant date or the first date.

I've felt that most times it has happened, they were already in the mood more or less and it didn't feel extremely difficult. The ones that are more about getting to know each other slowly, and needing to be more comfortable are the ones I struggle the most, and I don't even know how much it makes sense to push it a lot on the first meeting with these girls, and basically if every girl can be laid so fast with the right game.

I have a feeling that I either oversexualise or overconnect. It doesn't feel very easy to get to the point where she thinks: Ok he is really hot, he really gets me, and there is no sense in waiting, let's have sex now!

 

[ChrisXKiss]

With yesterday I reached 4-5 flakes in one week. Intense numbers if you think I was getting ready for a date every other day and eventually not going. This together with the large number of approaches that were not interested, and the ones that were but didn't go anywhere contributed to a quite some sexual frustration these lasts days.

I was also fairly horny for a change so it didn't help much. I was going out every day after the flakes trying my best to get something out of it but can't say I managed a lot.

One night I had an instant date with two tourist girls, and then realised that the one I liked had a boyfriend and they were also not much in the mood for a party, so I didn't manage to use them much for preselection either, and was feeling extra bad about wasting my night with them later. I guess I was a bit too nice and showed them one two places in the city, when I could have just ditched them after the drink and went approaching more.

Next day we were with some friends, happened to be in an open air bar next to the river, and I saw a girl sitting by the water. I approached, we spent quite some time there, my friends left eventually and told me they didn't want to interrupt, but the girl pulled away from my kiss, and had the whole vibe of being early, wanting to get to know me more etc. I am not sure if this is an older woman thing, but a lot of them lately give me almost the same objections, and I wonder if I am connecting with them too much, and I should be ultra sexual and fuckboish and just ditch them if they don't reciprocate. I don't even know how they expect to meet someone if they need 2-3 dates to even kiss, but then they tell you they have no time during the week and is even difficult to go out with them.

Yesterday, after another flake, I walked around in my area, with a plan to go for an instant date first, and then for a number. I eventually found a brazilian girl speaking very little english, I proposed a drink, she came, I saw that the bar I go to was closed early, so I told her let's go to my place for some juice. She came all the way, but didn't realise we were going to my place, so outside the door she told me she doesn't want to go up with someone she doesn't know. I tried to overcome it a bit, but eventually I brought her back to the station and put her in her train. Surprisingly she responded to my icebreaker after that, but not sure if it even makes sense to propose something and how open she will be at the date.

Then I kept approaching got few numbers, who knows how they'll go. Then I ended up in the city, I approached a girl in the middle of the night, she was a bit crazy and she invited me to go swim to the river with her friends. I did it because why not, their vibe was a bit too hippie for me, can't say I fitted perfectly, but at least I jumped in too and was a cool time. I don't think this will go anywhere else, although I've got to say this one was fairly older and had a body that I would hope my wife will have at her age.

A large number of approaches through all this. Not many that I got something out of, and I also started realising that after few bad reactions in a row my approaches get a bit weaker and more meek, because I subconsciously try to minimise the rejection that I start expecting.

Some others were not bad, but I felt I didn't have enough material, closed too early and the girl was just not yet at the point of accepting an offer to meet again. I should find ways to keep interaction and intrigue longer when the girl does not contribute much and is ready to leave at the first pause of the conversation.

I also started reconnecting with some numbers I got lately and trying to plan dates with whoever is available, so I may get some these next days. I feel I am losing my patience a bit, which is probably not good, but I honestly don't want to be wasting a lot of time with people that are not even reciprocating enough.

This is in real life and dates too, I understand that a girl may need some time, what I don't understand is how I find down to fuck girls so rarely. It feels crazy to me, because I know they love sex, so I would expect them to be a more regular occurence. Unless I am particularly not giving the vibes they need for that, which makes me wonder how I should really behave.

My general goal from now on is to just go and have fun, be more playful and flirty in general and not that deep. If they don't like it and want 3-4 dates to get to know someone then good we are not for each other.

 

[Higher]

With yesterday I reached 4-5 flakes in one week.

Id be interested in having a look at the texts. Do you think you could post a couple interactions?

 

[Higher]

Also, can you describe a couple outfits youre wearing when you make these approaches?

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Id be interested in having a look at the texts. Do you think you could post a couple interactions?

First girl

Short, above 30 not sure how much, fairly good body for the age due to working out

I had approached her once in October, we planned a date then, she flaked telling me that from the moment we planned it till the day of the date I didn't contact her and she changed her plans, because she doesn't plan dates like doctor visits. I met her again randomly in the train station and she felt really interested and like fate brought us together. She remembered my name and even told me I had her number, sent me a: "Huhu" to reignite the conversation then and there and told me to contact her and that she is free.

Sunday 15 June:
20:54 Her: Huhu
22:56 Me: Heyhey, so sweet to meet again
23:03 Her: Yeah, [my name], lovely indeed

Tuesday 17 June:
12:14 Me: How was the Monday transition after the sunny weekend?
I had some hours of dance training yesterday, exhausting but lots of fun
15:10 Her: Haha, thanks, we continue to enjoy summer evenings ( heart reaction by me )
Cool! Are u teaching or dancing?
17:10 Me: Dancing, but wouldn’t mind teaching some moves to a sweet eager student
Do you enjoy dancing?
18:56 Her: Ah so
Yes I do!
22:31 Me: Then we should meet and maybe I can show you some

Wednesday 18 June:
13:33 Her: Yes, sounds good for me

Thursday 19 June:
13:15 Me: When are you more free during the week?

Monday 23 June:
18:06 Me: Voice Message -> Asking how she has been, saying sorry I didn't come back to her earlier and was preparing for a dance competition during the weekend, pretty exhausting but lots of fun, so it was worth. Now I am a bit more free the next days, asking how it is going for her and what plans she has for this next week.
20:13 Her: Hi [my name] Sounds great, wow well, I think I have free evenings next days too
20:49 Me: How is this time tomorrow, around 20:00?
21:31: Her: Yes, looks good for me
22:17 Me: Nice, let’s meet by the [train station name] , I know some cute places around
22:44 Her: Super
22:57 Me: Good night and see you then
23:05 Her: Good night [name]

Tuesday 24 June:
15:33 Me: Hope you are having a beautiful day, let’s meet at the side of platform 8
15:57 Her: Hi [my name], pity I have got one urgent project, have cancel our drink tonight
16:08: Me: Hey [her name], no worries, focus on that for now and we see each other another time
16:48: Her: Great

Friday 27 June:
15:31 Me: Hey [her name], how has the week been? It got by quickly with some interviews for me, and now ready to enjoy a relaxing weekend

Yesterday:
20:03: Me: Photo ping of a sunset view with caption "Something artistically pretty"
24:04: Her: Yes, indeed

Today:
12:39 Me: How is your time this week?
18:37 Her: This week I have some events, only Thursday evening looks free
(Here I had already planned a date with another girl on Thursday, I was keeping it open for some days, but I feel a prefer to go and see one who is more enthusiastic about than waiting for when some other one will say she is free)
22:38 Me: Ah pitty, Thursday is bad for me, my weekend is more free

After this flake on Tuesday, I tried to get a date with a girl from online that was in my city only for a day. We planned to meet at the main station in about an hour, went for a quick bath, exited and checked my phone few minutes before our meeting time and she had unmatched me. Don't have the conversation for this one.

Second girl

Similar age, shorter than me a bit taller than the previous one, fairly ok body, east european

Street stopped while going for groceries in my area. She looked tired and was talking a lot about how she is struggling working some machinery job, and she wants something else to enjoy more. She was cute so i proposed we go for a drink another time. I had forgotten my phone at home, so I told her if she has somewhere to write it. She brought out an old receipt, gave me a pen and I wrote down her phone there. I sent the first text when I went home after about an hour.

Monday 23 June:
17:47 Me: Hey [her name] it's [my name], lovely to meet
19:35 Her: She is giving me a call: We talked for 19 minutes, I tried to keep a relaxed grounded voice, answered some things she asked about what I am doing here, and then focused mostly on her. At some point I proposed we meet for a drink to talk more, asked when she is more free, she told me some days, I eventually told her on Friday the same time in the local train station would probably work the best out of them and we closed the phone.
20:03 Me: It was sweet talking on the phone, see you on Friday at 20:00
21:12: Her: Thank you. Have a nice evening
22:16 Me: Thanks, you too

Friday 27 June:
15:13 Me: Hope you are having a beautiful day, let’s meet at the side of platform 8 at [station name]

This messaged wasn't delivered at all, so I realised at some point she just erased my number.

Third girl

Shortish too, typically hot though, tight gym glothes, big boobs, a bunch of make up and well made hair, probably some plastic surgeries too.

I don't think I did particularly well with this one, not so much because I did something wrong, but mostly because she felt like the kind of girl that would need something exceptional to get interested. I saw her sitting by some stairs close to the local train station at night, stopped and opened with a compliment about her vibe, then got into the fact that she looked like she got straight out of the gym, told her I was coming back from a dance class. We figured out we were colleagues, she was working in IT in my previous job, although to be honest I was thinking she could be some sort of Onlyfans model with the look she had. Anyway, it didn't feel like she particularly into the interaction and I didn't give any big spike, but still proposed we meet again, and she gave her number.

Wednesday 18 June:
23:45 Me: Hey [her name] it’s [my name], lovely to meet

Friday 20 June:
17:20 Me: Voice Message -> Saying I hope she has been great and has some cool stuff planned for the weekend, also that it was a busy week for me having a dancing competition this weekend, quite tight but very exciting. Telling her to let me know how it looks for her next week, that I should be more free and we could find some time to go for that drink

Wednesday 25 June:
19:03 Her: Hey
UPS
I‘m getting my nails done. Sorry, thought this would be much easier
[Photo of her hand in the nail salon with three emojis ]

Thursday 26 June:
17:47 Me: Hope you managed to get them pretty at least
How’s your time during the weekend?
22:36 Her: I will show you
[short video of her nails with caption: "What do you think?"]
[response to how her time is] To meet? Saturday I am quite flexible
Maybe I will drive with a friend to [other city] but it is not clear yet. Otherwise Sunday evening I am also free

Friday 27 June:
15:47 Me: [Response to her nail video] Exactly as I like them, classy and not flashy
Let’s do Sunday evening then How’s around 19:30?

Saturday 28 June:
13:47 Her: Sorry, we changed the plans. I am free today now and not tomorrow. So sorry. Otherwise, I have time next week always in the evening
You live in [place where we met and I live] right?
18:09 Me: I see, no worries, next week works, Thursday or Friday evenings are good for me
[response to where I live] Yes, we can meet by the train station, I know some cute places around

Yesterday:
19:42 Me: Don’t forget to let me know what you think of the idea

After no response till today I decided to just go to the date with the girl I mentioned before on Thursday.This one here is quite hotter but yeah I am not gonna be keeping my days open in case she decides to meet.

Maybe it would have made sense to meet on Saturday when she said she was free? I didn't check her message till few hours later so not sure if that would have been the best choice, to meet her during the afternoon time. Maybe with hot girls you just have to jump into every opportunity you have since they won't really prioritise you easily. I also can't be above my phone all the time checking the messages and be ready for exactly when a girl wants to meet.

Fourth girl

Shortish too, black ( if it matters, all the others were white ), early thirties ( she told me exact age in a text )

This one funnily enough was coming up exactly the same stairs I met the previous one on a different night. That was the time I went out with my recorder to record my approaches, and in fact at that moment my microphone had fallen from inside my shirt, so I had sat down at these chairs to adjust it back. I saw this girl going up and didn't even have enough time to start the recording, I opened immediately while sitting and as she was passing next to me. Gave her a compliment about her style, she was dressed in more business clothes and had a lovely energy. She seemed to really enjoy it, but was in a hurry to catch a bus, so I told her to exchange numbers and meet another time, we did it fast and she left.

Thursday 19 June:
23:16 Me: Hey [her name] it's [my name], lovely to meet
23:25 Her: Hey there
Where are you from?
23:31 Me: The beautiful [my country]
And you?
23:33 Her: I grew up here in [country we are in] and am [from this country we are in] but was born in [ African country ]
23:36 Me: That’s a sweet combination, you had something uniquely feminine
23:38 Her: I am also a woman. but thanks for the compliment
23:46 Me: Not all women express it the same, yours spoke to me
23:46 Her:
23:47 Me: What do you enjoy doing when not rushing to buses?
23:51 Her: I love spending my free time with my family, making music (singing) , and cooking. What about you?
23:56 Me: Acting, dancing, time with loved ones ( she reacts with a heart )
I wouldn’t say no to good food and music, so totally love your vibe
24:04 Her: and why did you come to [country we live in]?
24:06 Me: [my country] was too sunny for me
24:06 Her: Haha come on
24:06 Me: But really it’s cute here, came for studies but liked it a lot
24:10 Her: what are you studying?
I just have to ask how old you are?
24:13 Me: Studied, gladly it’s over
28, you?
24:15 Her: 33
24:18 Me: Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend?
I’m taking part in a dancing competition
24:20 Her: I'm going to [another city] tomorrow for the weekend. What are you up to?
[responding to my dancing comment] now I am very curious
24:24 Me: Yeah more or less dancing the whole time, will be fun
If you are back next week, I’ll be more free too, we can go for a drink
24:27 Her: Yes, let's go for a drink next week. [heart reaction from me]
I'm going to bed now; I still have to pack before work tomorrow. I wish you a good night. It was nice
Good night and sleep well
24:32 Me: Good night to you too wishing a lovely trip

Monday 23 June:
18:13 Me: Voice message -> Saying I hope she had an amazing time in her trip, that it was a full weekend for me dancing all day, but was a lot of fun in the end, made good progress and got a good place in the competition so it was all worth. telling her to let me now how it is going for her, that I feel I will be a bit more free after that, and telling her to tell me what are her plans for next week as well.

Tuesday 24 June:
18:31 Her: Hey, sorry for the late reply. I was just tired yesterday and put my phone aside. I'm relatively flexible this week and next week.
21:55 Me: Hey no worries, hope you got a good rest How is your time in the weekend or Monday?

Wednesday 25 June:
17:55 Her: I have plans for the weekend but I'm free in Monday

Thursday 26 June:
15:58 Me: Nice How about a chill drink at 19:30 on Monday?
16:15 Her: Sounds like a date
16:41 Me: Let’s meet at the [local train station], there are some cute places nearby [heart reaction by her]

Yesterday:
12:50 Me: Hope you are having a beautiful Monday [her name], let’s meet at the side of platform 8
13:39 Her: Hey hey 19.30 platform 8. [heart reaction by me]
18:03 Her: I'm really sorry. I have a family emergency that I have to step in for. My sister has to bring the children to me.
we have to postpone it
18:07 Me: Hey no worries, that comes first. Take good care of them and we meet another time
19:35 Her: Thanks for your understanding

I feel that this was a very honest one. Does that mean it would be possible to meet another time? Can't say for sure, I don't want to be the guy that keeps chatting with her until she comes out, so I may ask her later in the week how has she been and propose something again. We'll see how it goes.

These are the ones of the flakes of last week, who knows how many more I am gonna get this one? Just joking haha, one good thing of approaching continuously is that you do get a bunch of numbers that you are at least working with, so you always have someone new to occupy you. Sometimes the ones that I feel I could have done better with do affect me a bit, but it is more about my game performance, thinking I should have done things differently and wasn't engaging enough, and not so much about the specific girl.

Regarding the clothes, I don't find it easy to explain, I feel I lack the exact clothing vocabulary to make sure I convey how it looks. I wouldn't mind posting a picture of me with something I can usually wear though, hiding my face of course. Not sure if this is ok to do here, I don't think it would be an issue for someone to recognise me just by a headless picture in front of a white wall, so maybe it's a better way to go about it, if you are interested.