Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Intro

Let’s do a recap of this week, I did a number of approaches, most daygame either street strops or stationary, and some in nightgame at some clubs I went to.

For the total number maybe around 50 again. I could have done even more but I have stopped running around and trying to approach attractive girls that are walking fast or seem more occupied, unless I really find them hot.

Maybe I should be a bit more commanding though, especially when approaching close to bus or train stations. I’ve had some situations where I approached and the girl had to get into the public transport in a minute and I just let her go. Good for non neediness and abundance mentality, but not that good for closing and getting results.

Let’s go to the results now. It is the sexual report I wrote, one instant date that ended up in friendzone, about 5 numbers, and 2 cancelled dates.

Towards being genuinely sexual

I won’t write much more about the report, it was fun, no sex which makes it feel like something was missing, but at least it was an experience.

Something I want to note is that I feel that many girls seem to end up really liking me after spending more close time with me. I mean that after they are attracted to me and pass the initial stage of feeling like I am a player and just want sex, they seem to really appreciate my genuine nature.

Not even sure what to make of this exactly, because it doesn’t seem to be connected at all with having sex eventually. I wonder if it is a sign that I should be more genuine up front or even the opposite that I should be way more fuckboish in order to get them to bed and not have them get so connected to me.

The thing is I like being genuine and showing my attraction, but most of the times it either leads to instant rejection or to some way deeper connection than I am even going for. It has to do with the lack of sexual energy I mentioned lately, I can feel it that my initial vibe comes off way less as someone that is going to fuck you and more as someone that is gonna look at your soul deeply.

Insta date

And that takes me to the instant date that turned into a friendzone. I went to buy some sausage from a place and there was a girl pretty classy, with straight black hair, and a big tattoo of a woman’s face on her arm, sitting outside at a table by herself. I opened her with something like that she looked sweet and badass at the same time, she looked receptive, so invited myself to join her at the table.

We sat there, she told me most of the times people get intimidated and don’t approach her, she did look like the bitchy kind before talking, but generally she was very relaxed and spiritual. Her whole vibe was just chilling around during the day and enjoying the sun, she was talking about godly energies and astrology, I am not big into that at all but I appreciated how in tune to herself she was.

At some point she told me herself to go get some sweet after the food, I took it as a good sign, probably that she felt connected, because most people don’t see her for who she is. So we bought something and went to sit somewhere else to eat it. More connecting there, I was trying to give small touches and ramp things up but I wasn’t really feeling her, it was somehow off.

After a bit we got up and started walking. We arrived at a place with grass and laid there, I was making small efforts to tease and microescalate, she asked me to put some music, I was still feeling that there is a wall, but was staying to see if she would just warm up gradually, I couldn’t feel any progress though.

We went and put our feet into the lake and then sat outside and that’s when I asked her about what she likes in men. And she told me that she likes older guys, I am younger, and that she has daddy issues and has a boyfriend that really loves and is inspired by, and that she really likes how chill I am, and we can be good friends.

I though about it a bit, whether there was something else I could do, but eventually I just told her that I don’t see this working, as I like her a bit too much for that. We sat and talked a bit more and then walked back before parting ways.

It was an interesting experience, mostly to realise that I should be screening women way earlier. It just didn’t cross my mind that she would hang out with me that much and even propose it herself if she did have a boyfriend she was really into. I suppose I seemed so harmless that she immediately felt we could chill and vibe as friends.

I should have just gotten into sexual and man to woman topics way earlier, didn’t go all in at it, because I thought she just needed more time to warm and open up to me, but really it’s better to polarise and get somewhere fast or leave than waste your time, especially when you feel that something is off.

First Number: Big girl from street

The other numbers I got didn’t seem very promising apart from one. This is a big girl, meaning tall with a big build, I passed next to her and she was wearing high heels so she was towering me, but honestly that’s totally my type.

She was walking with a friend around the night life area of the city and I simply stopped her and told her she looked so elegant, somehow femininely classy. In fact I had seen her profile in a dating app but didn’t like it that much, up close though she really made me feel something.

We just exchanged names, I saw a spark in her eyes too, and asked her if she is single in any way shape or form. She asked if I wanted her number, I told her yes, that I have another place I am going now, but I’d like to catch up some other time. We exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes.

Today she replied to my initial text telling me she realised we had met previously. In fact we were part of the same activity group few years ago and she sent me a pic with both of us together. Told her about how small the world is, we exchanged few messages, she told me she liked how much of a gentleman I was and that guys usually don’t approach her, and after I said I like being true to myself and if there is appreciation getting to know someone, she told me herself that she would be free for dinner these days.

I will be away though for the next two weeks, so we basically talked about having the dinner when we are both back. I also asked if she is more into cooking or 5 course restaurants, to see if she is ready to just go home right away, and she told me she prefers that I introduce her to a nice place outside, so I told her we’ll find that.

Second Number: Brazilian from club

Another approach was around when a club I went to was closing, I was at the outside smoking area and two girls were talking. I had seen them dancing earlier inside, one was pretty cute and hottish so I opened her direct. Then we spent some time talking casually the three of us, nothing too crazy, maybe some tiny teases, but mostly normal talk. I was feeling that my girl was open though in some way.

At some point another quite loud guy came in asking about where they are from and talking to them. It was interesting because another girl also came to talk to me around the same time, so I had some fun teasing her while the other girls were talking to the guy. At some point he made a comment about how my girl who was brazilian must be good at football. I looked at her a bit and laughed, showed her legs telling her how strong they looked, and it felt a bit like we had our own code in the middle of all this. At the same time the other guy was sitting very close to her, but she was having quite closed off body language.

Eventually the guy left with her friend to go get their coats, and I turned from the girl I was talking to, to the brazilian girl to show her I am interested in her. Asked what was the plan, they were going to grab a bite so I proposed we exchange numbers as I wanted to go home. We did, her friend did come back in the middle though asking me if I am married because of the fake ring. Told them no, and explained about my theater play and also told my girl to check the original story while she was leaving.

Then I stayed a bit more outside and talked to the girl that came to talk to me earlier, her twin came as well, they had a vibe but it was more fun and party, although I was kinda feeling it with the twin. My brazilian girl passed nearby after a bit and probably saw us all there so not sure if that was good or not. Anyway after a bit these girls were planning to go with the DJ and some others to another party, so I tried to just grab a number, and then I was like screw it and went for a kiss which she rejected telling me she had a boyfriend she loved. I let them get to their taxi and went home myself.

The brazilian girl hasn’t responded to my icebreaker after a day which is a bit sad, but mostly I want to know if I could have done anything better. I suppose if I was more open to grabbing food with them or even inviting myself to the afterparty, the night could have worked out differently. I don’t think any of them would have outright rejected me, I was pretty chill, it’s just that after a bunch of times of spending time with girls in these kind of nighttime scenarios, either grabbing food with them, or going to another party, I feel that these things don’t translate to results much, and it’s more that you spend time that leads nowhere.

Maybe it’s still better than going home though, to just live the night and take it as far as possible. There was a payment issue as well because I wasn’t in the mood to either buy food, drinks or pay for an entrance to another place or a taxi, so these random extra costs do keep me from being truly spontaneous and not caring sometimes during my approaches.

Anyway the one pure night pull from a club I’ve had was when I did follow a girl to a second club she wanted to go for an afterparty, and then at some point she simply told me she was tired and wanted to go home so I pulled her. That is to say that moving from one venue to another and spending more time with the girl during the night can open up opportunities, so I should start going for that more, at least in ways that don’t seem like I am just following them around.

More approaches

I also approached a girl a night earlier. She was in the same club with me and then I found her waiting with her friend at the train station so opened her there. We were going to the same direction so took the same train. I am pretty sure she liked me, I invited her home in fact but she was telling me she was heart-broken and couldn’t do it, and her mind was still in the previous guy. I kept inviting her telling her I just want to make her feel good, but she didn’t come eventually.

That’s a girl that was looking around a lot inside the club, the typical girl that seemed like she was searching for a guy, so I wanted to see what her real vibe was. I was a bit surprised that she told me she didn’t want to meet anyone, I guess maybe she was in the mood physically but was holding herself back, can’t say for sure, didn’t manage to break through it though.

Another interesting approach was a girl at another club, she was standing with her back at the bar, facing the crowd with another girl next to her talking. I opened her quite directly and talked to them for a bit, she was leaning in and talking to my ear as I was pointing to it due to the loud music, and it was feeling that there was some potential interest.

I kinda screwed it up though because when she asked where I am from she gave me a little slap on the hand somehow, and wanting to be playful I went to give her a small one back, but didn’t calibrate it well at all and the slap ended up being pretty strong. It was instant autorejection after that, she turned her body away and told me if I don’t speak her language I can just leave.

Not sure if saying sorry would have helped, maybe would have made sense at least, it’s probably one of the times that saying sorry is a good move, but I didn’t do it thinking I had to keep looking dominant for some reason. So this one was a real shame.

One thing to note here is that I can feel I get in a different let’s be way more dominant and commanding space especially inside night venues or with very hot girls outside. It’s because I have felt that simply opening seems to not be making a impact, so I am going for something stronger. I do feel though that probably most girls can sense it is a bit of a front. So I have to figure out how to come off as more commanding and someone worthy of their attention but in a more natural way.

Flakes

I’ll finish with the two flakes. The first one was a girl from cold approach that also texted me after that, wanted to reschedule, but I told her I’ll be away and we can do when I am back. She has been keeping some contact herself so I believe it may happen eventually.

The other girl was from online. Very eager to meet right from the start, very little messaging, then she just told me in the morning that she didn’t wake up well and asked if we can meet when I am back. Told her to take care of herself and it’s fine, and no idea about this, I will send her again but who knows.

Conclusions

All in all, just by putting myself out there I do get some things happening, it does feel very inconsistent though. Especially for night time it makes sense because I don’t have a very specific place I go with a very specific process I follow. I think I also enjoy less and less the louder clubs, I like dancing, but opening while dancing has never been something easy for me, I prefer talking way more. It’s also difficult because beyond being polite getting substantial interactions in these environments feels really hard. Most girls don’t even seem to be responsive to the openers.

At least with daygame the same thing is happening, most girls are uninterested or just polite, but simply by approaching more and more I do meet some that I can see are open for things to happen, and it’s not so easy to create negative social proof or burn down the venue.

In order to really be effective in both, fixing my vibe and adjusting it to the situation and what I want is the most important thing to do. And also pushing more for the results, not letting seductions go that much, and insist that I see things through the end.

I feel I have reached a fairly good point of non-neediness and being chill around attractive women, so I can focus more on being more dominant when it comes to getting what I want with them, while not losing this relaxed vibe.

The point is not to not need women at all and not care about any results. It’s to go after the results and want the women knowing that even if I don’t get them, I will be fine.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Life update

I’d like to give a small update of my situation lately and some thoughts I’ve had.

First of all, I spent the last two weeks with family so I didn’t have many interactions with girls. I did have time to send some job applications though, which is good as I really needed to get this part of my life rolling.

It’s always a bit of an unsure period when looking for a job, not having financial certainty doesn’t help much with being grounded either, but at least there is some more free time during the day, which can be used for game.

Online and date

I checked online dating these last days to keep myself occupied a bit. The bad thing regarding online is that I generally get very few matches, no matter what kind of picture configuration I use. The good thing is that when the matches are legit, and not scams, escorts, trans etc it seems that I can generally get them out quite frequently.

I had maybe 5-6 legit matches these last two weeks across 5-6 different apps, I had a date with one and I’m pretty sure I could have gotten one with 1-2 others if I really went for it.

The thing is though that when I went to the date I realised that the girl although cute was fairly fat. And one of the reasons I didn’t even try that much with the other matches is that I felt they looked like they had a similar body type, so I wasn’t particularly excited.

At least the girl I went to the date to had a cute face, quite nice boobs and was interesting, so honestly I would have still done her. The logistics were very bad though as we both had no place for ourselves, so eventually we just had a make out towards the end and then I let her go. Maybe I could have persisted telling her to take her car and go somewhere secluded, but her whole vibe was how tired she was and how much she wanted to sleep, and I didn’t feel like it.

It was an interesting experience though, because she came to the bar very high energy, narrating her day to me and telling me how crazy it was. We talked for a bit, I was touching almost from the beginning, and by the end of the date she was extremely relaxed and in a totally different state, almost looked sleepy and told me how much I calmed her down.

I feel this was pretty powerful, and thinking back I could have probably gone for a kiss earlier in the bar, in order to have more time to escalate and plan how to move towards a more unconventional place for sex.

Eventually I kissed her when we arrived at her car walking from the bar, and mostly I wanted to be sure I wasn’t reading her all wrong. I could sense a lot of non verbal signs of acceptance of my moves but not much reciprocation, she was also saying she wasn’t in a sexual state and just wanted to sleep, and it was good confirming that she was indeed into me and ready to kiss passionately.

I have a feeling that if I got her in a seduction location it would have happened, maybe I even blue balled her a bit by giving her this intense make out before letting her go. I should keep it as a reminder that I can get girls into me and as result I should be moving things towards sex and not letting them go without the release they desire, especially when it’s the only chance.

Because in a way I feel that both with her and with the other girl from the report few weeks ago, I took them very deep. Can’t say if it is something I can do consistently, but I am getting a sense that the way I do things when on a date has been improving.

On dating less attractive girls

The main issue with this is finding attractive girls that come to the date and are somehow open. Which brings me to the thoughts I’ve been having.

Basically, although I do feel that certain things start to be clicking more and more, the quality of the girls I get doesn’t improve much. I would even say that I’ve associated with many more girls lately that are not particularly attractive to me, and this affects me in some interesting ways.

By dating and escalating with girls that are not my preferred types I have started feeling way warmer towards them, like they are my kind of girls, and I can be more sexual with them, while I feel it gets colder with more attractive girls and I have started feeling more and more that I must do something to get these ones attracted to me.

It is a bit messed up and I don’t like where it is going. I started doing it because I wanted to take any chance I had with any girl I found remotely attractive to gather experience and reference points. That said if you look around at the bar and feel like your girl is the one you prefer the least of all the others physically, it starts feeling a bit bad.

And even worse as I said is that you start treating the other girls that you like more as girls you are not getting. I have focused a lot lately reading how to hook girls, how to spike their emotions in the beginning so that my ask for a date will be met with excitement, that I have totally forgotten to be relaxed, masculine and believe I am enough.

Towards being normal

I realised this reading an old article by Karea as well, that I am basically forgetting to be normal when I approach. Literally just grounded, and having a normal chat and then making an ask. I guess getting a lot of rejections by attractive girls right at the open made me think I have to do something to get in their radar and have them pay attention to me as a sexual option, but now I am feeling that this something is doing nothing too much. Just being solid.

This will help a lot, because I will be treating all girls out in the street similarly. And I won’t be thinking that a beautiful classy looking girl needs a particular technique to get hooked and intrigued by me. I suppose you also need some wins with these girls, in order to truly internalise that you can simply be normal and get them, but you first need to behave and treat them normally to even start getting them.

One thing I believe that got me confused regarding all this is generally the practice of using playfulness and teasing with girls after the open in order to hook them more. I thought that this is the way to get a girl to pay attention to you but now I am feeling that this is the way to increase the attention of a girl that already has some interest in you. A light green if I would go with the traffic light system.

What I think that has been happening to me is I have been using this approach to girls that are more yellow, some even red. So when they are unsure of me and I come in playfully and teasing from the beginning, it feels like I am trying to force a flirty vibe and I am being weird because we are not there yet.

I now feel the best way to treat unsure yellow girls at least in daygame is really to just be chill, normal and masculine. You stay grounded, you have a normal chat and you express what you want.

It is also probably a defence mechanism I have been using, because I have been afraid of being totally normal and having a girl reject me because of that and not because of a certain tactic or technique going wrong. I have to pay attention to it and let myself feel ok to express who I really am in all stages of seduction.

And when it comes to the reds, I’ve been thinking about them too. The ones that leave immediately especially in daygame are pretty hard to work with, but I want to improve how I make it work with the girls that are staying without really treating me as a sexual option. I feel this has to go one step further from being normal, into the territory of having the girl perceive you as n authority in her life, gradually qualifying herself to you and complying, which I believe with some awareness of the situation and time available, should be possible.

Conclusion

All in all, I believe that this approach of being more normal and masculine on the approach, together with pacing the girl and leading her deep with me transferring to her my sexual state when we are alone, can be very effective in taking the girls all the way from intrigued to sexually hypnotised. I want to be approaching things a bit more from this perspective of being solid and luring girls in for now, before focusing on more explicit tactics and techniques on top of it.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Recent date thoughts

Just coming back from a date and I am quite conflicted.

I've got to say I asked the girl again what she likes romantically and sexually, because the whole vibe was nice, but not more than that. She was talking a lot, I was feeling she was enjoying it, but I could also sense a barrier.

Anyway, she told that she feels it is too early to discuss that, and that she wants to be clear first that she is looking for something serious and monogamous. I told her something like that I am not looking for something specific generally, but if I like being with a woman i would want to be more with her.

The issue is that this is true, that said I can't say that I sense from her the kind of girl I would be excited to be together forever. Because she also mentioned she wants family eventually. My point is that although being more serious is not something I am generally against, she didn't give this really intense feeling of being with her only.

And this messes me up a bit, because I continued the date, after the bar/food we went for a long walk, and in the end we gave a hug and parted ways. I've had this happen before in fact, and I can see the pattern, every time something long term like this is brought up, I subconsciously pull the brakes and don't make many moves.

For example I could have tried to go for a kiss in the end, not sure if she would have accepted it, since she wasn't very open to physical contact until then, but I would have shown my interest at least.

But what happens is not that I am afraid having a kiss rejected. I am afraid that by having a kiss I am showing I want exactly what she wants and confirm to her that I am also interested in something exclusive and long term. And my whole body is fighting against that, I can feel the tension and the hesitation moving forward.

Basically the thing is that I get a bunch of girls like that, I have another one online that asked me if I am ready to hold space for a woman and take care of her and invest my energy, and I feel that maybe I should be more open to get to know them more, since I have always been going for quick sex only.

But whenever I try to do it, I feel very conflicted internally, because I know that the highest probability is that I won't desire something more long term eventually with them, no matter how much I get to know them. And I don't like leading them on.

I feel the answer to this is to honestly say right away that I don't feel it like that, and let them go and find someone else, instead of hanging out without being really into it. My only concern is if I am not letting myself get to know girls better, and become closer with them. As a said I don't generally get very close to girls, but on the other hand I have not felt the desire to do it with most of them. And especially when I know that they are looking for something serious, I feel that any effort to come closer confirms that I also want that.

I have to see how to go about this, because I obviously don't create enough sexual attraction to have girls first think about sex with me and then the rest. And expressing that I am up for anything that feels right as we get to know each other feels very disingenuous, when I really struggle to see myself getting into a committed relationship unless I feel some intense to the bone attraction for a woman right away.

I don't even know if this is bad or not, and if I should really get to know women, let them grow on me and be open to more, even if I am not that crazy about them initially. If anyone reading this has experience on relationships that started like that, I'd love to hear it. It is just that my whole body truly screams to me not to let myself move forward in such a scenario when I know the girl wants something serious, because I may end up dating someone I am not particularly excited about.

Anyway, that girl texted after the date that she liked how gentleman I was, which I guess is not wrong based on how I acted and what she wanted. The question is how I will move on from here. One thing I like a lot about her is how tall she is, she is also big going to powerlifting competitions, so I suppose it's a good way to see how to manage a tall girl romantically and in bed, since I like them tall anyways and experience with that will be valuable. She is also bisexual she told me, so I guess it may be possible to plan threesomes eventually too an get experience with that? There are some positives for sure, it's just that I don't want to lead her on and then break up after some time when she is looking for someone to go all the way to family ideally. And I know we haven't even had sex yet, I simply feel that even having sex after knowing what she is going for is in a way leading her to believe I want the same.

Approaching experiences and troubles

Leaving this interaction, this week was packed by approaches. Didn't keep the exact number but close to 100 for sure. I had two days that I went out walking for hours daygaming, I was exhausted afterwards.

The results were quite underwhelming though. About 10 numbers out of all these approaches, of which 1 went to a coffee date with me, and the rest barely responded.

To be more detailed, I had 3 that texted me they thought about it again and they are not interested in meeting ( one told me she is monk mode and focuses on herself, the other that she has a lot of things going on in her life and her focus is elsewhere and third one that she was simply overwhelmed going home ). It's important to note here that all these are things I did feel from these girls, they were not very receptive to my approach but I persisted, they stayed and eventually exchanged numbers, and it wasn't just out of politeness.

I think the issue here is that these interactions were so fast, I pulled the girls out of whatever world they were into, affected them so strongly to have them agree to meeting some other time and give me their number, and then let them go, that it was like waking up from a dream later, thinking: "Wait, what did I just do?". The thing is that when I have to go to a store that is closing, or when the girl has to get on public transport these kind of super fast interactions are the only ones you can have.

I have some ideas about how they could be improved, basically using all the small chances you get to connect more, maybe going together with the same bus for some stations, or focusing more on getting to know them, relating and qualifying in a short time frame.

At least I am happy I managed to persist with them in a relaxed way, it happened multiple times these last days, and I had girls stay and pay attention to me that I had felt were attracted but were in a different headspace. I also felt that I could relax more into the approaches in general, let them breath and give space to the girls, having it feel less like chasing.

This resulted to some nice small chats, result wise, still not much more though, which makes me wonder what else I can change purely by vibe to make girls interested. A lot of them seem to be pretty defensive, and not wanting to engage a lot just by the fact that i approach. I mean I know it is something unusual and I know I can have approaches that also feel off, especially after some time daygaming the mental and physical fatigue can have a negative effect, but I would expect at least some more receptiveness beyond the polite chats that happen the vast majority of times.

Specific approaches

I had a nice chat with a 22 year old, in front of her friend, which was at least refreshing since I usually get rejected too fast by these ages. I got the number, but not even sure if she can answer, she was literally on her way to the club where she had lost her phone the previous night. One approach where I talked with another girl waiting for a train. I sat there with her for a bit, mostly a normal chat, got her number, she had told me she is very busy, she said it again to my scheduler text for next week, so I may catch up after 1-2 weeks now.

Also an approach to a short girl with a crazy body, I liked my authentic opening vibe a lot, but then I tried to be too playful with no reason, she had to go for a business call and told me to exchange insta, I asked for number and took it, but sadly the whole vibe wasn't one that would make her respond till now. I also had one 20 something year old, that I guess gave her number eventually just to get rid of me and then blocked me. We had a nice small chat but then she went into how older I am and she doesn't want anything, I tried to joke about it a bit and went for the close again, which seemed to work but didn't really.

I also had some more, a Russian tourist that kept telling me in the first minute of the approach how happy she was for the big client she closed before coming here and although she gave a number she was feeling a bit in a different mental place from the beginning , a girl working at daycare that answered 2-3 times to my texts but gave silence to my soft close close, and I will probably get back to just to not let it die like that, and another girl that told me she is seeing someone, but had her give me her number in case things don't work out with them.

The girl I went to the coffee date with was leaving the city few hours after it and wanted to meet in the centre, far from my place, so not much of a sexual vibe. The initial approach here was pretty fast as well, similar to the 3 I mentioned above that changed their minds, but this one was more on vacation and in a let's meet new people in a city I want to relocate mood. One thing I realised though is that I have to be relating to girls more, because I can generally have them talk and reveal things but I noticed that sometimes I don't share much back and remain too mysterious, not building enough similarity especially when the facts of our lives are not obviously similar. So in order to recognise this, it was a good experience to have that date, but apart from that I was just too chill, while she was talking a lot very anxiously about her job search, and I don't think I was eventually able to have a big effect on her.

I also had a girl one night in a party street that I approached, she was half-drunk saying she was trying to get over her ex and heal, I told her she looked really charming anyway, and she started crying telling me how much I affected her, and she got approached so much the whole night but noone could make her cry. I then decided to keep her some company while she was smoking her weed, and this was interesting, because she decided to do it in a side street in the middle of a bunch of homeless people/drug addicts, so it was my first time hanging around their turf. She kept saying she knew people there and noone would dare touch her, I was a bit concerned though, because the guys were all around us, talking to us sometimes and even though this city is very safe, I'd say this is the least safe place you could probably be in. After a while, when a random woman came and told her to take care of her bag because this area is dangerous she decided it's better to go, so I escorted her a bit more back to the safe civilisation and left.

The last interesting approach was a girl I saw coming down from the stairs of a train platform. She gave me a quick look, felt like a look of interest, so I went in instantly and she was quite warm and also a bit surprised. She told me she was meeting someone, I asked if she was the love of her life, she told me no, I was ready to go for a close and then I saw him coming. Very muscular tattooed guy, instantly acted fairly tough, told him why I approached, we exchanged names, he told me you've got to go for it, I told him yeah you gotta do what you gotta do, and then i pulled out my phone and asked the girl to give me her number in front of him. She said no, maybe we'll happen to meet another time, and the guy grabbed her by her left arm telling her to go, so I thought sure why not, and grabbed her by the other arm. That's when he started aggressively coming onto me, pushing me away, telling me to not touch her, and I thought for a second to escalate it verbally telling him he pulls her arm so I can do it too, but I decided it was already too far and raised my hands telling him I don't want a fight, to stop touching me and that the girl didn't tell me they are together. He let me go after that, they stayed together and I left wishing them a good night.

I guess I was a bit lucky here, he could probably beat me up pretty badly judging by how he looked, but I wanted to push it a bit to see when and how he would react, having in mind to take a step back and deescalate before things went too serious. Which worked, but I'd say that obviously trying to manhandle buff dudes' girls in front of them is not something that has much potential to end well. Maybe in a nightclub where you both just met the girl, grabbing a girl that is into you if someone else tries to pull her away could work, I was simply curious to see his reaction in this scenario.

Searching for excitement and results

Reading back on all these, and thinking how much time I spent going around the city, I am really not satisfied with these results. Even the numbers I did get were almost all far from solid, which made me lose quite some motivation during the weekend to go out and do it all again. I guess I can be satisfied by taking the action and putting myself out there in itself, it surely shows though that pure volume is not the answer.

I think that apart from the regular approaches I do during my day I should go for more targetted volume. In fact one of the reasons I walked that much these days was to check the different girls in different areas. Surprisingly I feel that very few of them were particularly interesting to me to the point I could say I was attracted to them at a deep level.

One funny thing is that three of the girls I felt the most instant deep level attraction towards these last days, feeling that they were really feminine in my eyes, were pregnant. Not even sure if this means something but I felt it was interesting, most other girls with similar styles, clothes and makeups ended up feeling very interchangeable to me.

This got me thinking about the absolute abundance thread and where to find girls that you are most into. Because I've had this thing of not being too impressed by girls from my city even more after travelling all over the world.

I put some personality profile data in chatgpt and asked it where to find the girls most compatible to me and very interestingly it told me that purely personality wise the best girls for me are in the countries that I consider to have the most attractive women physically wise. Quite interesting, because based on that these places should be paradises for me, and it is it true that when I visited gpt's first suggestion, i couldn't believe how many women I could see myself with long term I would see around.

I am not ready to move yet though, and even if I do I may do it to some other bigger metropolis that has still enough of these girls and even more, so I also asked it to tell me where to find these girls in my city and it was a bit of a mess. Some places that don't even exist, or that are in other cities, and some places that are cute but are let's say techno clubs that are nice but I have no idea how to run game in.

All in all it gave me some interesting insights, but not much I can change practically regarding the areas or places I go. I guess I could be going more to the museums for example, but I find it pretty strange hanging around the same museum every week, scanning for opportunities to open visitors. Maybe I shouldn't even focus on all this too much for now anyway, it is just that I do feel I need some boost in motivation since meeting enough women you like a lot is one way to keep going even if you don't end up closing all of them.

Maybe I should start appreciating more deeply the ones I see around the most. Meaning younger girls with typical gen z clothes, makeup, style, and in that way I could start being warmer with them as well. Also maybe i could start skipping the areas that I have obviously seen that I don't like the girls that much and focus on the ones I get excited more and are closer to my vibe. Last but not least, picking the events I go to, and checking more relaxed atmospheres, since I am not much into the crazy party mood these days could help.

To conclude, it was a long week game wise, I had some big sessions that showed me certain things, I don't expect to keep doing these because they are very time consuming though. I'll keep going at it, working on the things I realise I need to be working, and figuring out what else I need to work on, while also staying true to myself more and more.

 

[gameboy]

Damn you really like to push it to the edge eh? Kudos for courage in front of that muscular dude, but personally I'd be more careful. You never know when you might stumble onto a psycho / violent type. I've been in some violent situations myself and it's not something I care to repeat if it can be helped. That said if a random douchebag were to grab my girl right in front of me, I can't guarantee I would stay calm.

Regarding the girl you went on a date with, first thing that came to my mind is that all girls say they want something serious. And most want kids. Yet most don't seem to have any problems starting something with you and eventually breaking it off for whatever reason. So why not approach it from the same angle? Maybe long term you do see yourself being with someone permanently. But how are you supposed to know that it's going to be this particular girl, before having fucked her a few times and having been together with her for a while and getting to know her on a deeper level? (Not saying you have to do that. Maybe you fuck her 2 times and then see she's not you ideal soul mate. Or maybe even just once.)

Plus, she's bisexual man... so probably way over on the more sexually open side. She's fucking girls for hell's sake. Is she planning to have kids with those as well?

That said...

It is just that my whole body truly screams to me not to let myself move forward in such a scenario when I know the girl wants something serious, because I may end up dating someone I am not particularly excited about.

I'd absolutely follow this gut feeling. Gut feeling overrides all other considerations in my book.

I made this mistake with my last girl friend. I still wasn't completely over the previous girlfriend emotionally, then met my last girlfriend, she seemed quite into me and we had sex on the 2nd date. I was never planning to date her seriously because I saw some red flags, but the sex was good plus she was a fun intelligent girl. Good carreer too, though that's not something I particularly screen for. Anyway we kept seeing each other, neither of us planned for anything long term initially but add in some unforeseen life circumstances, and somehow we ended being up a couple for 6 years total lol. We had some good times together too, travelled a lot together so it wasn't all bad. But all in all I was never really happy in the relationship and had a very hard time finding my way out. Glad to have made it out in the end though, so all is good.

Maybe it's fate though? I wouldn't say I regret it per se. The sex was good right until the end, which is pretty cool for an LTR that long I think.

So yeah, all I can say it's a fine line to walk, and a hard decision to take!

You're doing great though. 100 approaches in a week is quite impressive! I feel there are times when you just need to grind like that, and then there's times when you just chill a bit more and do more targetted approaches.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Damn you really like to push it to the edge eh? Kudos for courage in front of that muscular dude, but personally I'd be more careful. You never know when you might stumble onto a psycho / violent type. I've been in some violent situations myself and it's not something I care to repeat if it can be helped. That said if a random douchebag were to grab my girl right in front of me, I can't guarantee I would stay calm. Thankfully most guys seem to be intimidated for me for some reason (even though I'm not particularly big or mucular) so it hasn't happened to me yet.

I sometimes see situations like these as chances to push myself. To be able to experience something uncomfortable and strengthen my general frame. And by being more assertive and holding my ground enough, while still managing to navigate them and exit safely, I make myself more relaxed in average day to day interactions.

I do agree that it can be dangerous though. In this one I kinda felt that they guy wasn't the type that would really go all out if I backed off, but you can never be sure, so it is something to be careful about. I feel though that the way I remain calm and centered in high tension situations has improved at least a bit lately.

It doesn't all have to do with game by the way. Some days ago i was buying food and saw a nice cookie at the counter so I asked the cashier if I can take it for free. She asked why and I told her because I am so beautiful. She didn't give it to me, but things like that can make the day a bit more spicy. I may try again giving a different reason.

Regarding the girl you went on a date with, first thing that came to my mind is that all girls say they want something serious. And most want kids. Yet most don't seem to have any problems starting something with you and eventually breaking it off for whatever reason. So why not approach it from the same angle? Maybe long term you do see yourself being with someone permanently. But how are you supposed to know that it's going to be this particular girl, before having fucked her a few times and having been together with her for a while and getting to know her on a deeper level? (Not saying you have to do that. Maybe you fuck her 2 times and then see she's not you ideal soul mate. Or maybe even just once.)

Yeah these are good points. It is possible that we may even go for sex once and then mutually decide we are not a good match, you have to go through it to really know. She even told me that she dated a guy for 2 months before and then they became friends, and she was also dating a guy for a bit that was dating 5 other girls himself. He had told her, and she was fine with his honesty in the very beginning but after a bit she realised she wanted exclusivity so they stopped seeing each other.

So I understand that it is a normal process to date a bit and figure out slowly if you will spend more and more time together, I simply feel I am wired in a way that if I know a girl would ideally want a long term monogamous relationship, and I am not sure that this is something I could imagine with her and be fully at peace with, it feels to me like I am wasting her time a bit, even manipulating her to have sex. Unless we clearly meet in sexually intense way, and it's obvious we are going for sex primarily.

And I am like this in other scenarios. For example if we are friends with a girl, meaning we hang out in the same group, we go out and party together, it is very difficult for me to make sexual moves. Even if she made them in fact I would probably take a step back and discuss it with her, because I don't like the relationship that has been built to be spoilt for some sexual fun. Unless I had a big crush on the girl, then I wouldn't mind, because I wouldn't want her primarily as a friend anyway.

Maybe it's some black and white thinking, I simply want to be clear as much as I can and take care of other's peoples emotions.

Plus, she's bisexual man... so probably way over on the more sexually open side. She's fucking girls for hell's sake. Is she planning to have kids with those as well?

She told me she could see herself even with a girl long term. I guess they could adopt a kid. I see your point though, I am pretty sure she is quite sexually open. It would just be way easier for me if I felt a strong sexual attraction from her side and it was established even subconsciously that this is the vibe of the interaction between us. This kind of attraction, but let's date and see it more seriously, it confuses me in the sense of how sexual to be, how fast to move, what to even pursue.

I'd absolutely follow this gut feeling.

I made this mistake with my last girl friend. I still wasn't completely over the previous girlfriend emotionally, then met my last girlfriend, she seemed quite into me and we had sex on the 2nd date. I was never planning to date her seriously because I saw some red flags, but the sex was good so we kept seeing each other. Add in some unforeseen life circumstances, and somehow we ended being up a couple for 6 years total lol. In hindsight it was a waste of most of my 40s. Though we had some good times together too, travelled a lot together so it wasn't all bad. But all in all I was never really happy in the relationship and had a very hard time finding my way out.

Maybe it's fate though? I wouldn't say I regret it per se. The sex was good right until the end, which is something I haven't experienced in previous LTRs let alone one of 6 years (my longest so far).

That's probably my biggest fear. Personality wise I know I am a guy that wouldn't break up easily. I like to finish something when I start it and to be stable. I won't change a house unless I really have to, and I tend to be fairly loyal towards the things I pursue.

So I know that if I go towards a relationship and it's not a girl I am very excited about, I may stay longer than I should. If I even get there, because probably I will subconsciously sabotage the commitment, being one foot in one out, and forcing the girl to end it herself before getting more serious. But if I do decide to be exclusive as an experience, I am worried that I will just get complacent, and stagnate a lot.

Maybe it's because I still have dreams about how my life will be improved in the future, and I feel that something serious and stable will keep me from pursuing them. Unless it is with a really amazing woman who makes me motivated to pursue these dreams for her as well.

I suppose life is choices anyway, I am surely not typical in the sense that I started from 0 both with girls in general and with relationships, but never craved being in a relationship. So apart from the idea that you find your 10 and you build a family with her, most other types of relationships are not things I feel much desire towards. I am totally fine being alone, connecting deeply with the women I meet throughout my life, and offering them incredible experiences, without devoting myself fully to any one of them.

I want to spread passion, pleasure, deep feelings as far and wide as possible and to as many women make me inspired as possible, so i feel that learning game will increase my effectiveness doing this. And finally I would like to find a woman that makes me feel I desire to focus only on her, make a family, and offer myself fully. To the point that through her I will be expressing my pure love for all the women that came before, and all that come after, and every facet of the feminine spirit that warmly fulfills me in my journey in this world.

Let's see how things play out

You're doing great though. 100 approaches in a week is quite impressive! I feel there are times when you just need to grind like that, and then there's times when you just chill a bit more and do more targetted approaches.

Yeah it was surely good, because I hadn't been doing a lot of volume lately, so it puts you back to the approaching state of mind.

I still enjoy approaching while going about my day but you only get limited time when you can approach, and also less flexibilty. I noticed 2-3 women I liked a lot today, but I had to catch a train to not be late to a dance class so couldn't really stop and approach.

In fact I was surprised by how many women that I liked a lot I saw in such a short amount of time being out today. I was even looking around thinking if something about my mood changed and I was way more excited by women today, or if there really were way more of the type I like.

Probably it's both. When I feel more virile and happy, I do feel more excited by women, that said I was also out during the time people leave their jobs to go home. And I feel I am way more into this kind of crowd of young but more mature professionals, compared to gen z college students that you may see around during the rest of the day, when the professionals are working.

So this is something to pay attention to. It makes more sense to go out during the times of the day that these women that seem to excite me more are outside more. Same with nightlife. Going to a hard techno party, or a heavy metal concert, or an ultra young crowd club doesn't make much sense. Even if I like the vibe, the event is cool, and I can enjoy the music these are not the places I would have the most similarity with the girls.

 

[bobbyb112]

Set up:

because the whole vibe was nice, but not more than that. She was talking a lot, I was feeling she was enjoying it, but I could also sense a barrier.

Anyway, she told that she feels it is too early to discuss that, and that she wants to be clear first that she is looking for something serious and monogamous. I told her something like that I am not looking for something specific generally, but if I like being with a woman i would want to be more with her.

I'm facing similar challenges. You're having a perfectly enjoyable time, but it feels like there is a barrier, where it is platonic fun, rather than sexy bubble fun. When it feels platonic, you get women saying things like I want something "long term committed boring monogomous stable family oriented kids family", but you know she would be DTF with the right guy.


Punch line:

she was also dating a guy for a bit that was dating 5 other girls himself. He had told her, and she was fine with his honesty in the very beginning but after a bit she realised she wanted exclusivity so they stopped seeing each other.

Bahaha, there it is. She sleeps with the sexy guys, and tells the platonic guys she wants something serious. (I'm oversimplifying a bit. Girls go through cycles of wanting something "safe" sometimes and something "exciting" sometimes. But the point still stands). The goal is to become more like the guy mentioned here

I've recently started saying, "I just got out of something long-term somewhat recently, so I'm not looking for anything super serious right now." It has helped.

It is good because 1. It implies other girls like you (value) 2. You can be won for a relationship (attainability) 3. You are a "steal" right now, because you just recently got out of it 4. It makes sense why you wouldn't want to "commit upfront" to anything serious, without you outright saying, "I just want to be a player".

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Bahaha, there it is. She sleeps with the sexy guys, and tells the platonic guys she wants something serious. (I'm oversimplifying a bit. Girls go through cycles of wanting something "safe" sometimes and something "exciting" sometimes. But the point still stands). The goal is to become more like the guy mentioned here

Yeah I know that, which is why I don’t like personally when a girl just comes and tells me she wants something serious. I feel I have not been sexy enough for her, and I lose much of my excitement as well.

It feels difficult to fully escape it without overwhelming the girl though. I’ve gone the route of telling girls I just like to live my life day by day and I am not looking for something committed and I have gotten big push-backs.

In fact one reason I started being a bit less intense about sexual interest is to stop losing girls by going too fast. Because I felt that by being somehow more subtle and going at her pace can put her at ease and help her open up.

I think it has to do a lot for me with the vibe I give off from the beginning. The girls usually come to dates in a much more social and way less sexual mood.

The girls that have come and were somehow sexually open I feel I have done fairly well with. I am talking about girls that from the start of the date you meet and you feel they would be down for sex, maybe they are ovulating I don’t know, but I have felt it and I have also managed to sleep with some like that.

But there are also the others that come and feel very guarded. Like they just want to meet a new person, not really at a sexual state, and they are very difficult to pull after the date and escalate sexually with.

I guess if I start being way more sexual and teasing and playerish, I will set some good frames, but may lose a lot in attainability and start looking like someone that just wants sex again.

I feel that the answer is just building up your sexy vibe enough that it is obvious that you are a guy that will get sexual with you given the chance. That’s something I am struggling to do, and lately my vibe has been way more sensual and calm, to the point that when we end up sexual with a girl she will usually mention how much crazier I am than I look.

So I’ll see. I should probably also start expressing more the frame that I am not doing relationships in a subtle way at least. I really like it and it respresents me well, I just don’t know how many women will stay around after that, when I don’t give off very strong lover vibes.

I've recently started saying, "I just got out of something long-term somewhat recently, so I'm not looking for anything super serious right now." It has helped.

I see how this could work. For me I would struggle a lot with something like that, when I know it’s not true.

Any time I have tried a technique that says something totally untrue about me it ends up being extremely incongruent.

It’s not even something that I logically think, that it is not ethical to lie to women. My whole body is gonna be put in such high tension knowing I am lying to get what I want, that I will telegraph all the wrong emotions, something will feel off to the girl for sure, and the whole situation will also suck for me.

As I mentioned though, I should probably start holding this casual frame more strongly, so thanks for the suggestion. Even just from a life planning perspective I don’t even know if I will be in the city I am now after the summer. And even if I stay for now, I don’t know if I will for the distant future. So I think if we go all the way and things start getting towards the more serious side, I will be open about that.

That we are having a good time, I am enjoying it, but I have some dreams I will feel like dying if I don’t pursue and I cannot pursue a serious monogamous relationship at the same time, because this will mean the woman and my family will not get the attention and appreciation they deserve, and it won’t be fair for them at all.

 

[bobbyb112]

Dude, literally every word in the first part, is what I have been experiencing. I think you are me. I will let you know when I figure out the answers, lol.

I feel like, you should be able to meet her at whatever energy level she is coming in with (maybe it's friendly/platonic, maybe it's already more sexual), then lead and pace her, bring her into a more subdued (sexual) energy, turn her on along the way, and then she is ready to go, regardless of what energy she came in with. That way, you get not only the "green light" girls, but the ones who come in as "yellow lights". That way, you aren't just relying on whether the girls come in already having decided she wants you or not. I think this is the point of game, to getting more of the "yellow light" girls, and turning them into "green lights", in addition to closing the greens.

I see how this could work. For me I would struggle a lot with something like that, when I know it’s not true.

I would take the words more figuratively. For example, the girl I was seeing for only two months before it ended, but it still made me not want something super serious now. Heck, "something serious" could mean you went on three dates with a girl, it felt serious, then it ended. Now you don't want "serious", you want "fun". Because who doesn't want fun? The words are more meant emotionally, not literally.

Someone check me if I'm BS-ing myself, lol.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Dude, literally every word in the first part, is what I have been experiencing. I think you are me. I will let you know when I figure out the answers, lol.

Will also keep the process updated, so let’s see, I’m sure we’ll make it!

I feel like, you should be able to meet her at whatever energy level she is coming in with (maybe it's friendly/platonic, maybe it's already more sexual), then lead and pace her, bring her into a more subdued (sexual) energy, turn her on along the way, and then she is ready to go, regardless of what energy she came in with. That way, you get not only the "green light" girls, but the ones who come in as "yellow lights". That way, you aren't just relying on whether the girls come in already having decided she wants you or not. I think this is the point of game, to getting more of the "yellow light" girls, and turning them into "green lights", in addition to closing the greens.

Yes this is what I had in mind too. One issue I’ve had is that I have been trying to do all this in adrink date of about 1 hour+.

Have done pulls that way, but it’s almost always girls that came a bit ready. Not super on, but more of the subdued energy you mention from the beginning.

When I’ve tried to do this drink date + pull for sex with girls that came not very sure about me, and in a more social mode it hasn’t gone that well.

That’s why I decided to start calibrating to their vibe a bit more, and be open to bounce to another location to continue the courtship if I see that they need more time.

I believe I can have an ok feeling at this point of how on it is with a girl at different moments of the date. Still not a full process, but at least sensing around what place she is at.

As long as she comes open to get to know me and spend some more time with me, I feel what you describe is doable indeed.

And I mean if she comes to the date she surely does like something about you already, it’s just that I do feel that some may really come and not let themselves be seduced on the first date.

So I’ve simply started not to put pressure on me to be able to turn completely on in few hours every girl that comes mildly interested to a date, but pay more attention to moving things forward in general, as far as possible while still being flexible.

We’ll see how it works from now on, haven’t been getting many dates lately in fact, so as I get more volume I’ll be able to see how my current approach/skillset/state can lead to results.

I would take the words more figuratively. For example, the girl I was seeing for only two months before it ended, but it still made me not want something super serious now. Heck, "something serious" could mean you went on three dates with a girl, it felt serious, then it ended. Now you don't want "serious", you want "fun". Because who doesn't want fun? The words are more meant emotionally, not literally.

Yeah I get that, in fact if there is some source of truth in a statement I can deliver it. So if I had the experience you describe I could probably make it work the same way.

What I struggle a lot to do is communicate things that are totally not true, like a fake age, or like in your example the fact that I had three dates with the same girl, or any other form of long term potential thing lately.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

This was an interesting week with ups and downs.

Dates and flakes

I'll start with what was left hanging from the previous one. I had three dates planned, one Friday, one Saturday, one Sunday out of which only one happened on Friday. The other two were cancelled by the girl.

The one that came on Friday was from a cold approach, that said she started very quickly asking me about my life: what I am doing for work, why I came here, what am I doing outside of work. All these almost before even sitting down at the bar, and at the first minutes of sitting down she asked my age and after realising I was quite younger, she almost instantly told me she is looking for someone older who wants something serious.

I stayed and connected with her, she told me she never hooked up, only had two relationships and they were pretty intense, and she is more traditional and believes in waiting. We talked for a while, I presented my frames about the connection happening fast some times as well, and that you should be able to open yourself up, enjoy the moment and know that you will be ok in the end. I felt that she was very reserved, and was trying to escape following her emotions in order to not get hurt.

After the drink we walked for a bit towards our places since we live nearby, I invited her home in fact, she told me no, and we parted ways in good terms. I don't think there is much I could do with this girl, she was in her middle 30s, wanting a serious relationship, and logically protecting herself against going fast with anyone, especially when she knew that I was much younger and not seeing a long term potential with me.

This has happened quite a bit with the age, I mean losing women that initially were quite attracted to me but after realising the age difference closed themselves off from any escalation. I keep finding it fascinating though how these girls initially consider I could be much older than I am and in their age range. I am not even sure if it is a looks thing only, I once talked to a psychologist few years back and he told me I have a way of expressing myself that doesn't really fit my age, and it gives a sense of maturity that you don't usually find in people that are this young.

I like who I am though, I mean looks and behaviour wise. There are things I could improve like becoming more muscular or more playful at the right context, that said I don't feel that it makes much sense to try and overhaul my whole personality to escape this age effect.

The second date I had was from online, the girl cancelled it few hours before the planned meeting, but I felt kinda relieved, since she was also talking about wanting something serious from the text messages, and I wasn't very crazy about meeting her.

The third date was my second date with the big girl I had the first date last week. We exchanged 2-3 messages during the week, I proposed we go chill by the lake with the good weather, she agreed, but then she sent me a long text that it's better to not meet again and she wants something serious and to only get sexual when this connection is formed and the fact that I talked about sex from the first date more than once confirmed to her I am not looking for the same thing.

I sent back a long answer myself, saying how I see sex as something important and I like connecting with people over it, I told her I understand, she is really sweet and wished her the best. The thing is this also took a big weight off my shoulders, because she had told me how serious she wanted to go and I had started to wonder if it even made any sense to meet again. Because it's one thing to be open for something serious, and another to not even express each other sexually before an established connection, this second thing seems too restrictive to me.

All in all, it was a week of serious dates that either happened or not, and in the end left me being more at peace and understanding that it's better anyway to be screening these girls out myself, since I can't give them the form or relationship they want, I am not in that place of my life, and it's better to just accept it, own that I am guy exploring myself and the world, appreciating sexual connections for the everything they bring, and not having any intent to go seriously monogamous with a plan for a family at this moment. Probably this will help with how I generally express myself too, as I will not be trying to not lose girls that want things slower, but I will be trying to win the girls that are open to doing things faster.

Approaches, numbers, instant date

Approaching wise I didn't do that many, maybe 30-40 for the whole week. I got one number of a cute young university student I stopped after we both got out of the same bus in the campus. Was dressed very classy, to the point I thought she would dismiss me fast, but she was very sweet and almost into me right away. She responded to my texts saying she would be down for a drink in the week, so if we find time maybe it will happen.

After my Friday date, I also went out at night for a walk in the city. It took me a bit to build my mood after the date and make myself go out, then my mood was ruined again when I opened a girl in the train, she was a tourist from US in the city only for a layover of one night going to a specific bar for a drink, and I just let her go without closing or proposing anything. And this was a girl that was clearly waiting for me to talk to her again after I opened her and went back to look at my phone for a second, and when leaving the train she turned around and waved at me excitedly. I was feeling so bad after that, thinking that I didn't close this girl that clearly would be down to spend more time with me, while I go and close all kind of random girls that give me almost nothing.

I took a walk, sat at a bench, listened to some music and managed to reset myself after a while, and then also made some more approached having a fairly good vibe. Took one number that night, but I didn't really liked my exit after the number, I should make sure that my last impression offers good emotions, and is not just an ok, I did the thing, now I am going away.

Did some more approaches on Saturday, I will delve into them in the following part because of the particular environment they happened, and also some more today walking around the city around sunset time. No numbers, but I did get an instant date with an Italian tourist. I think I misjudged the situation a lot though, because she was clearly following me around, she was fine with touching, we also got pretty deep and she told me a bunch of things about her life story, but in the end she never really opened up more.

I think it was a case of a girl being very open in general and i mistaked it for interest. When we sat at the bar we were at the some couch but she was keeping a distance, I felt though that she is opening herself up in general so maybe she needs some more time since she is accepting me touching her back, arm, leg anyway.

Afterwards though, she really wanted to go to a pizza place close to her hotel, I didn't think of it as a bad idea logistically, but we ended up sitting at a restaurant opposite to each other so it was a step back in the seduction. Maybe I could have insisted to take some pizza and sit somewhere outside to eat, but that was the point where I started feeling that she really is resistant to things getting closer by strongly wanted to try this specific place that was recommended to her and not being open to be with me even somewhere else.

We discussed a bit more in the pizza place, she is dating someone back where she lives and wants to make it work with him, and she also was surprised by our age difference. Pretty typical stuff for this week. After the food I proposed a walk, she really wanted to go to the hotel almost leaving me right away, not many things I could do, she hadn't even allowed me to create any intimate moments, so I simply told her fairly awkwardly that I like her as a woman, just to let it out and know I didn't hide it. The only thing I would have done differently would be to propose to her to just go and get sexual more boldly, to differentiate myself fully from the boyfriend position, but I don't think she was at that space anyway.

One lesson her is to keep escalating compliance, and if at some point it feels like there is a block to the next compliance step, to start realising that something is off and you should figure out ways to discover what. I don't think I did too bad regarding that, but I could have probably found out about the other guy earlier and adjust my strategy.

These very social girls that are all fine going around with you and even letting you touch them or touching you back are tricky to figure out. It started being more clear when she interacted with our waiter in the restaurant, that it was more of her natural tendency to be open and social and not so much that she felt a particular attraction to me.

Kink party

I mentioned previously that the Saturday approaches were a bit particular. What happened is that I went to a sex positive/kinky event that night. The type of party that you get in and you have to change into specific kind of clothes to be allowed. I hadn't been in one like that before, and when I won a free entrance I really felt it was a great chance to get myself accustomed to such a sexually open environment.

One issue was that I didn't have clothes that could be worn in there apart from a sleeveless shirt with some leather chains on it, so I decided to go shopping to a sex store and took some leather kinky boxers. Another issue is that I didn't really have anyone in mind that I could propose this event to, so i decided to simply go by myself without any expectations apart from familiarising myself with the place and the vibe.

That's what I did, and was in a pretty good mood, to the point I opened a tall blond girl waiting alone in the line of another club as I was going to mine, and she was very receptive. I wasn't really expecting it, just by her stature and attire I would have bet she was some stuck up club queen that wouldn't give me her time of day, but she was so sweet, even in an insecure way somehow, I could feel I was affecting her. I am sure it helped that she had moved to the city few months earlier, without many friends and going to the club alone, but the point is that simply seeing that it is possible to be in front of a girl like that and feel that being together and you being dominant over her is not far fetched at all makes me motivated to keep going through this whole journey.

I really wanted to go the kinky party though and I also didn't want to propose to her to come with me, thinking it may be a bit too much to ask her to come half naked to the other party with me after just meeting her when I don't even know how it will be. So we simply exchanged numbers, she answered my icebreaker the same night in fact, didn't respond to my next text the following day, so I may send some voice message in 1-2 days to see how it goes. Very pretty girl for me, so of course it will be a bummer if we don't go out, that said life goes on, these girls exist, and if I keep going I will be finding more.

After this, I went to the kinky party. The moment I passed the bouncer and got in I saw a very short cute girl working at the entrance eating me with her eyes hard. I was thinking damn, I love this place already. It took few moments when I went to change clothes to realise that yes everyone is almost naked and they don't care, but to be honest after that it felt like home.

I went around the club, they also had an area upstairs that I tried to get in but a bouncer told me I can't and it's only for play. You could see a bunch of couples in there getting sexual, and even out of there really, and what I started realising was that most people went to the club with some kind of partner already. Maybe that's obvious in this kind of parties, but I could feel that as a single guy there you are basically the lowest value possible.

I was pretty chill at least, I mean not doing any weird things, or just hitting on random girls, pinged some around but not much more. I felt this was the place you would need the most obvious signs to really make a move. And being around half naked tall muscular men with hot girls with them, when you are alone and fairly skinny is not the best way to have eyes drawn to you.

I still wanted to live it though, so I went to the short girl at the entrance and asked her what exactly is that play area upstairs. She told me it is only for couples, so I should just go grab a girl a take her there, and I told her I would grab her but she is working now. She told me maybe later if I want to see the place, we exchanged names and talked for a tiny bit and then I went back in and danced for a while.

None of my pings there on the dancefloor had much effect. Most were verbal, because I didn't want to risk going too physical in this kind of environment without clear signs as a said, at least I liked the vibe though and went a bit crazy. I saw the short girl in after a while, dancing as well talking to some other people, and walking out towards the smoking area I pinged her but she didn't feel much enthusiastic to interact with me although she was dancing by herself at that moment. Maybe the fact I was at the dance floor alone didn't help a lot with my value here.

After going to the smoking area, I stayed there quite a bit because I wanted to see how people interacted in general. It was interesting, some people obviously just chilling and talking but also others making out, guys with girls, girls with girls, then these same girls with other girls and other guys, couples meeting and sharing each other, a pretty fun vibe. I had a smile on my face by how sexually open the place was, I am not even into watching, it doesn't excite me, but I was truly enjoying the energy. I talked to two three guys that came and sat next to me, not even sure if they thought I was gay, but I wanted to be a bit social. No girl really came and sat next to me anyway, and I didn't realise any sign of interest or approach invitation.

It did feel a bit strange trying to talk to random groups of people in this environment when you are a guy by yourself though, not gonna lie, I mean at least when there is no obvious opening and they are talking to each other in their language that I don't speak. Maybe I should have been even more open and talked to more people around but didn't want to take it too far for my first time there, but mostly observe. Something surely interesting is that someone being with someone else didn't mean that wouldn't see them getting sexual with a third person few minutes later, so I feel if you are social, cool and a bit attractive it wouldn't be that difficult to meet some people and maybe get into more explicit things.

One thing I didn't exactly figure it is how you go and kiss, propose to go to the play room. I feel it has to be quite mutual, so unless you use the girl you are with which many guys did, it has to come by being smooth, approaching girls that give you signs, and then following through with a mix of connection and arousal.

I said exactly figure out though, because I kinda did. There was this woman, around the older age I usually attract, that when I passed by I noticed checking me out a bit. I was fairly sure so as I was returning and her friend had left for a bit I opened her. It was a compliment about her vibe, or how femininely classy she looked, probably used the word sexy too, and her eye contact was enough to tell me she was really into me. Got into exchanging some basic info, I teased her a bit, nothing too crazy that I remember, mostly vibing and she was responding well, even hitting my arm. I was also pushing her and bringing her close, and at some point I said to myself screw it, brought her in, took her head and went for a kiss. Stopped for a second to take her hair away from her mouth because they were falling in the middle, and then we kissed for one two seconds, basically closed lips, she wasn't opening, and we stopped. Afterwards she pushed me away with her hand playfully, I pushed her too, and she smoothly went back talking to her friend that had returned, while I left to go dance. All this maybe was 5 minutes at most.

I looked back while dancing at some point and she was checking me out, so when I went to the smoking area again I told her to come with me, she said she had to stay with her friends, I told her it will be only for a bit, but she really didn't want to leave her friends. So I went out myself and after a while she came with them to grab their jackets and leave. When leaving I passed in front of her and told her to exchange numbers. She asked me why and I told her I am enjoying her vibe. She said ok and her friend who was there said: That's a good reason, you got it! I introduced myself to the friend too and then after figuring out my girl's plans for tomorrow wished her the best. She left telling me to be in touch, but she hasn't answered my icebreaker, so I will send a voice message and we'll see.

After that I walked around the party a bit more, made some pings, nothing substantial, most people had left already, so I also decided to do so. I took my clothes and while dressing to get outside, there was a girl also dressing next to me. I pinged her but honestly without some hope, I was mostly social, because I had felt she was with someone else there. And then suddenly she told me herself she was supposed to come with a guy but was stood up and came alone. I obviously starting connecting more after that, we went out of the place together and figured out she is in an open marriage and generally meets guys for different kinks. She wanted to take uber back home, I was taking a train, so I told her a bit about how I love these environments because everyone is open minded and you can communicate openly, and how for me everything starts with the mental connection, and as long as the woman feels the trust and can let go and freely enjoy the moment and what she feels, then you figure out the particular sensations that will bring the most pleasure. She was listening looking like she agreed a lot, so I just told her I like her vibe and let's just exchange numbers and go for a drink. We exchanged, I left for my train, no response to my icebreaker either, but will go for a voice message here too.

After that I left, I got another number from a woman in the train. Approaches with a compliment while she was standing alone and I felt she took notice of me. I went and stood next to her, then she left to the other side of the train, and after a few seconds of me continuing to chill and talk, she just came back next me. Interesting one, she answered to my icebreaker, I sent her something extra asking her how something she would be doing went and then she asked my age. I told her and asked back. She responded with her number which is about 15 years older. So I thought if I even get into the age discussion it is just over again, I will just skip it. So I asked her how she is doing now, telling her I enjoyed my time with a friend. She responded not mentioning the age again that she wants to go home. Told her she can pass by my area if she wants some more free air. She said maybe next time with a wink. I asked her if a difficult week is coming and that I have some dance classes. She told me to take her to the classes. I told her I can't but I can take her out to dance and asked if she knows. She said no but I can teach her. I told her I will if she is an enthusiastic student. She told me she will try, so I told her that's great and asked her availability. She gave me some days, now I am not very free during the week and some free days I want to keep them open in case some other girls answer too, so I told her we can meet before my class on Tuesday and practice outside. She told me we'll see and I told her good night my student and she wished me back.

I know this is a bit all over the place but I started improvising after the age question, so not sure where it will go exactly, but whatever, what happens happens. In general I liked the energy of the kink party, the only thing I would like more is more kink in fact. I felt a big part of it was just people going and having sex with one another, which is fine, but I do prefer some more proper kink activities happening, both from an artistic and arousal perspective. Surely a fun time though, the money for the leather boxers was worth it.

So going forward I will just say I feel a bit more free and motivated to go forward, regardless how many, if any, of these numbers work out.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Not much to practically discuss this week, mostly because I've been sick the last 3 days. Nothing serious, but enough to keep me inside. At least I had no dates planned for these days so nothing I had to cancel, that said it was a bummer since I was planning on approaching more during the weekend.

Dates and approaches

I had one date planned for Thursday in fact that the girl asked to cancel. She gave a pretty specific excuse about a friend of hers having a serious infection and asked to meet next week, so maybe this will work out eventually.

I also met and had sex with the married woman I wrote about in my report. Good learning experience and it's always nice to close after a while. The more I get sexual with women though the more I feel that with some I can just stay for hours doing nothing else, and with others I don't care much about meeting again.

So in a way I mean that I am starting to not be satisfied just by getting the sex. I am not even sure if I can do something to make the experience, vibe and chemistry between us even better. For example I have felt that whenever the girl is not particularly vocal or expressive I enjoy it way less. I guess I could be way more vocal myself, but when they are silent as I am pleasuring them it doesn't motivate me much to express myself.

Anyway, I am sure these are things that you discover more the more you have sex with each other, it's just fascinating how much more exciting is the sex with certain people compared to others.

I also made few approaches during the week as I was going through my day, not bad ones, I feel that my hooking during daygame is getting better. I don't think I will get anything from the 2-3 numbers I got though.

There was an interesting one with many piercings and dreadlocks, totally a different type than me visually, but pretty cute. She was all about how boring she is and she likes so many things in theory but she never tries them and just stays at home all day. And at the same time she had a nice positive vibe and was even laughing during our interaction, so I have a feeling she was trying to autoreject due to our obvious archetype differences. And I tried to connect as we sat together in the bus for some stations, but I guess I wasn't that successful eventually, since she didn't answer my text after the icebreaker or the voice message after that.

Generral life thoughts

I also took the time these last days at home to think about my life more in general. It's a bit strange, because I have been in a period lately, meaning maybe even more than a year, that although I don't feel bad, I also don't feel particularly motivated or excited.

I am comparing this with few years back, when I was having very bad days I could not stand at all, wanting to make a big change and this led me eventually to get out of the field I was studying, start some hobbies I always wanted, and start approaching women seriously.

Somehow as I embarked in all this I was feeling quite hopeful for the future, probably why I had quite some early cold approach success at least for my virgin back then standards, but I feel that gradually all this has faded into a period where most things feel just nice, but not really amazing, and more stagnating than really growing.

I know one reason is surely the fact that I was feeling pretty successful at my field of studies so it was something I could have pride in and feel good about my hard work on it during the years, while now it feels that in everything I do this is mostly irrelevant and I am basically a beginner trying to improve against others that started way earlier than me.

Another reason is that I don't really have a job field or area that I would really love to focus on and be exceptional at. I apply for jobs, because I do need one to survive, but it's a bit all over the place, and although some I would prefer more than others, it mostly comes down to how much they pay and what kind of benefits they give me regarding personal improvement. I can't say I truly care much about any of these industries or the companies themselves.

Now it's possible that sooner or later I will find a job, and when I get in I will be able to improve there, but it still feels kinda off. For example I don't think that having a 6 figure office profession is something that would be satisfying to me. And this probably shows, since although I am approaching, I am doing hobbies, and I am way more socially free and taking action than in the past, I can feel a big: Meh whatever, let's just find and do something that can pay well, it's not like any job will give me some big meaning anyway.

I feel that a big reason for all this is that when I started this journey I never wanted the job for the job, but basically as a means to gain and save enough money that I will be able to invest in some years elsewhere and leave the job. I guess the issue is that I don't have a clear goal, since without any business experience I don't know where else I would invest or what I would build.

There is in fact some idea in my mind for my future, that said I still need to at least be able to support myself financially short term, and I have this fear a bit that if I get in a job I may get too comfortable and never go for these future things. And all this is getting expressed as me not being excited for any job, simply because I know that subconsciously this is not what I would want to be doing and I am afraid if I get too much into it I may end up staying there.

Writing these down I really feel that the main thing I should look into is having a clear doable plan for the next 5+ years that could lead me at the place I would like to be. I can't say how right or wrong that place will be for me eventually, but I do know that right now whenever people are talking to me about working at one place as a long term career or having a long term relationship, it feels outside of my reality, like I obviously cannot do it since I will be at that other place doing this other thing.

I feel I have not committed myself fully to this path though, probably due to a fear of failure if I do it openly, and this makes me way less daring when it comes to social interactions too. Since I am not approaching them from the lens of someone in the process of growing to be something really great, but from that of someone that is meddling with a bunch of things he is not that great at without much excitement for any of them.

And this all ties back to game, because if I have an idea of a certain woman or relationship based on what I will be, I am very hesitant of pursuing it and improving myself, when I have not really committed to the path of being that.

In all this, one of the most important things is to find ways to make money to sustain myself. Whether through a normal job, freelance work, a business, I have to be able to depend on myself financially and know that no matter what happens I have ways to make money. When it comes to the job part I have been applying so we will see. When it comes to freelancing I have been thinking of what skills I have, maybe I should just go online open an account and just go projects I believe I could tackle without too much thinking about it. When it comes to business, I am really not sure where to start, I don't know exactly what business I could build, or it makes sense to start with what I know, and it's one thing to have an idea and another to really build something. So if anyone reading this has any good recommendations on what material to look at when it comes to building and running a business, preferably one online with minimal initial capital, it would be highly appreciated.

I think the moment I manage to secure some income that will be covering my expenses and I can also use to save a bit, I will be fully ready to plan long term for where I want to be. I guess I could still do it from now, it's just that I now don't have a specific timeline on when I will be able to start having this income, but what I could do for sure is focus on specific skills and even if I don't care about any particular job, just go for applying them well and then the opportunities will come.

In the end, telling myself I just need more time and some specific conditions to commit myself to a long term goal is in a way an excuse in itself, so I feel it is better to be honest with myself about what I really want, and take responsibility to get there sooner than later.

At least I am positive about one thing in my life. Till now most of the things I really wanted to be doing, I have gone and done them sooner or later, so it may sound strange but I don't doubt I will be doing in the future the things I want in my core now.

 

[bobbyb112]

So if anyone reading this has any good recommendations on what material to look at when it comes to building and running a business, preferably one online with minimal initial capital, it would be highly appreciated.

From you posts it seems like you are in your early/mid twenties (just guessing), and haven't found a business/moneymaking skillset that makes you excited. I was a similar way, when I was that age, and I didn't like any of the "conventional" career/job/success paths that most of society had laid out for me. Eventually I found the moneymaking area that I could really sink my teeth into, and I have loved the business/career challenges and monetary rewards that I have experienced since then. Since this is a seduction forum, and not a business forum, I won't post more specifics here. But if you want to hear more, DM me I guess.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I am having some interviews in the coming week, so I may not be very available to write a full journal entry for a bit.

That said I wanted to write down that I just slept with a 21 year old girl, the youngest I've ever been and she was quite cute too.

Can't say there was anything very interesting to write a report about. It was a cold approach coming down from a bus in the university campus, and then she was extremely eager to meet me, so although we had it cancelled once, we met today.

I could feel she was into me, but also distant and closed off with her body language so I figured she is just nervous. Deep dived her with just a bit of touch. Mentioned how life is about living the moment and getting experiences. Then went for a walk.

Told her to close her eyes for me at some place with view we went, gave her a short kiss. Then we kept walking, invited her home for a sweet, she came. I gave her the sweet and then grabbed her for another kiss and we went smoothly from there.

There was a point while making out that I heard her saying something like: where do you want this to go? I was kinda confused what to even answer at that moment, so I kept escalating and she didn't mention it again.

After we finished she told me she wants to be clear and she is not at a place for a relationship. We lied together and talked a bit, then I took her once more when she was looking for her panties to leave.

I've got to say it's the tightest pussy i've felt. Like the amount of arousal I was getting there was insane, not sure if I have ever used such a strong grip to even masturbate.

I finished in few minutes both times so it would be a goal to eventually manage to control myself more even with this kind of tightness.

From now on not sure, it was fun, I guess I can try to keep in touch, it's not like I want a relationship or anything either.

 

[gameboy]

From now on not sure, it was fun, I guess I can try to keep in touch, it's not like I want a relationship or anything either.

Sounds like a good setup for a FWB or FB situation.

How did you open her in the first place? Do you remember how it played out until you got the number? I'm curious to know how was her initial reaction to your approach. Any IOIs up front? Was she hesitant at first and did you have to go through some resistance, or did it feel like a green light from the get go? Asking because this is something I'd very much love to replicate

And congrats BTW! I believe you're more into older women, but it reads like a great fun experience nonetheless.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Sounds like a good setup for a FWB or FB situation.

Can't say for sure, she felt very avoidant. Wouldn't be surprised if she just didn't want to see me again. She told me she's never been in a relationship, and she has some self-image issues.

I do think though I came off as pretty relaxed and at peace with myself, so if that is an energy she enjoyed, maybe she will let herself experience it more.

How did you open her in the first place? Do you remember how it played out until you get the number? I'm asking because this is exactly the thing I'm looking for

It is this interaction:

I got one number of a cute young university student I stopped after we both got out of the same bus in the campus. Was dressed very classy, to the point I thought she would dismiss me fast, but she was very sweet and almost into me right away.

She didn't feel approachable at all inside the bus, but I felt she was really cute, so when I saw we were both going down at the same station I thought: "Fuck it, I have to run to a dance class anyway, but why not, I don't lose anything"

I gave her a compliment when we were both down about her vibe, she seemed a bit surprised but I could say she was way more open than she looked earlier. Asked her if she is around here because of studies, she told me she is studying in another campus but came here for some dancing. I asked her what dancing, because I was literally going to a dance class myself, she told me she doesn't dance really but a friend invited her today so she will see. Then I told her I really have to go because my dance class is already starting, but I love her energy and let's meet another time for a drink or a bite. She was very enthusiastic to give her phone number and we went on from there.

I saw her later that day in fact, because after my dance class I went to an open dancing event and she was at the other side of the room. I was thinking whether to pass by casually and greet her or dance, since I was more experienced and could show that, but she left immediately after.

Then she really was interested in meeting me via text, the most I've had this happen after a 2-3 minute approach probably. So I don't know if I even did anything particularly well, or she was just very into me right away. I surely approached her though, so it's a good lesson to go even if you feel the girl is in a different headspace, you never know how much into you she may be.

Congrats BTW! I believe you're more into older women, but it sounds like a pretty fun experience nonetheless.

Thanks! It's not that I specifically like them older for some reason, I'd say I prefer them more mature and not so childish. This girl didn't feel like an average 21 year old, she even told me that she can't communicate well with people of her age and she is still trying to find her group and place.

We talked even about some philosophical things at the date and after sex, she seemed very aware of her issues and how she perceives the world, so I simply offered her my perspective, since I've been in that place and have worked with myself a fair bit.

I mean if a young girl with a young body can communicate like this, and can at least be open to explore herself and grow, I don't mind the age. Some of the older ones are also a bit jaded. It's more about being in touch with yourself, enjoying the world, and being open to face your issues and grow. Noone is perfect anyway but I find this approach to life extremely seductive.

And ok having a nice butt helps. I literally told her after sex she has this cutely sexy vibe that makes me want to really fuck her and then give her a hug.

PS. I think that her friend that invited her to dance was a guy, which makes me feel this was his indirect way of asking her out. Not sure how effective it is to bring a girl that doesn't dance to a dancing event where she will dance with a bunch of other guys, some probably even better than you. I guess you can show expertise over her, but if she likes you enough just taking her for a drink and inviting her home should work fine. At least it worked for me.

 

[OldGuy]

Ask her again. You don't want her to think you did not enjoy her, even if she is not down for more.

 

[gameboy]

Thanks for the detail!

And yes, I had the same thought. Did iyou send her a text after sex yet? I'd send her sth along the lines of: Had a great time last night! I dont want to put any pressure kn you since I'm not looking for a relationship either right now, but would be great to stay on touch

Just make sure to not see her to often unless you want her to fall in love...

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Yeah that was my plan. I sent her already today a: Hey <name>, had a great time last night. Hope you got a good rest

She hasn't answered yet, but she used to answer after about a day before the date too.

Anyway, I will keep in touch, it's just that I don't have expectations.

In fact we were talking about something like that after sex yesterday. She told me how if she was to not see me again it probably wouldn't affect my self-image at all. I told her that I would probably be a bit disappointed, since if I am enjoying my time with someone I want to spend more time with them. But I believe you should be open and invite people and be fine with how they respond. And that I still feel very warm towards all the women I've been with no matter how long it was or how it ended. Because having sex brings you so close to each other and I value all the people I've shared this experience with.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Lol, got flaked in a job interview. I had one planned for Wednesday and they sent me a mail today telling me they won't continue with me and wish me the best.

Whatever I'll keep going, it's like girls, but even better because the moment you get one contract you are covered.

So since I have some more time now let's look back at last week.

A very weird one because my health after getting a tiny bit better, started deteriorating, so I had to take antibiotics and I still do. At least I am almost fully well now.

For this reason I stayed in a lot to rest, so I probably made about 15 approaches during the few times I went out.

I still managed to get 3 numbers out of that, one I already had a date with, the second told me she doesn't want to meet again and the third I proposed we meet this week, but she is only free on a day I cannot, so we will see.

Girl after sex

Some things about the girl I mentioned I slept with. She responded today saying: Me too Good luck with your interviews!
So it seems she also enjoyed it. I wasn't that sure about it, because I don't think my sex performance was something amazing, but I suppose the general energy was fine.

I was thinking about it though, and honestly I don't feel a crazy desire to sleep with the girl again. Nothing about this one specifically, it just feels that most times after I manage to sleep with one, doing it again is not something that excites me that much. It feels like I have unlocked her, and now there is not much thrill left.

If I had the chance for example, I would very easily choose to go to a date with a new girl and try to sleep with her compared to sleeping again with one I have done it already. I don't know what to make of it, but I can feel it is not about increasing the number of my lays, I truly feel that the process of reaching sex is one that brings me the most satisfaction and excitement. It feels like you dive a bit into the unknown and you manage to achieve to unlock a girl, and connect the deepest way possible, by being deep inside her.

This does not mean I will not ask this one to meet again, more like it's something that I have in my mind as ok whatever if I have time and it happens fine, if not it's not that important.

I wonder how much this is connected to my sexual abilities too. I mean maybe it's possible for the sex to get better the more you do it with the same person, but I do wonder what new thing I would try, or how I would make it really more exciting and feel better. Also I have this feeling that the time I last is not something I can control much, because I felt especially with her that even if I am not close to orgasm at all, and she is giving me a blowjob with me being totally fine going for long, the moment I enter It's like what the hell this feels too good. Which I guess is better than not feeling good inside a pussy, that said it makes me think a bit if I can last enough and give her good sex.

By the way, she told me she has never orgasmed with a guy in any way but only when masturbating alone. And in a very specific position, lying on her belly and playing with herself. I felt that she was putting effort to come closer to orgasm with me and she also mentioned that yeah she thinks about it because she wants to feel like she is making the guy happy. She said that he had a guy ask her something like why she is not cumming with what he is doing, and I was thinking what kind of weird guy puts pressure like that on a young girl to cum. Anyway, I told her she needs to relax more, not think, not try to reach it and just enjoy the moment, focus on the sensations and if the orgasm comes it comes, it's fine either way.

So since I really enjoy focusing on the moment, on the pleasures and sensations and just building an experience, I do feel that this is something I could enjoy with her, letting her release herself a bit more into the bliss. So we'll see, maybe I will just ask her to come by some other time, because I don't see much point on going out first for another drink.

Date ( 1st coffee informational + 2nd chilling at my place )

And some things about the other date. This girl is 36 ( back to my average age lol ) with a very sweet younger looking face though. We went in an informational one hour coffee date after lunch on Friday and I was really happy with that, because I got to know her a bit, I kept some sexual tension, but never mentioned anything specifically about sex, and when we parted ways she instantly texted me how much she enjoyed it.

I don't think I've ever managed to turn such a date into a second date, so I was quite conscious of what I wanted my vibe to be during it and it worked. She was busy the next week, so I basically asked to meet her again before that since I realised she was really into it. So I did propose we meet on Sunday evening, one day after the previous girl.

It was cold outside so I just invited her to chill at home and she came. We spent some time at the couch, she felt a bit distant, she was keeping some space between us. I was trying to change my vibe into a more sexual one ( remember that all these days I was with antibiotics so my body condition was not generally optimal ), and although I was struggling, I managed to do it somehow by focusing on her face and lips. I went on to try some ways to kiss her more smoothly, asking her to dance or to close her eyes, she did't want any of it, so I went for one eventually at another moment, and she pulled away literally at the second I started moving towards her.

We had a talk after that, she told me how shy she is nd she is taking it slow and wants to know the person more, I shared a bunch of views I have on sex, about interaction time not mattering, that the connection is important and that I deeply appreciate having sex not just for the act by how it deeply brings us together and it is something I cherish.

She was getting really into her head, feeling like she is weird and cannot connect with people well and at some point she literally held her knees with her arms, lowered her head between them and got extremely emotional. I stayed there touching her back initially, then coming closer and hugging her trying to fully ground most her energy and she eventually started feeling better and more relaxed.

Then she started talking about the difficulties and issues she has in life right now, and how she even talks a lot is being the fun one with her friends to mask all of it, and I gave her understanding comforting her. We were both very warm at that point and I was really feeling her and getting aroused, but then she told me she also has herpes from a previous boyfriend and she has an outbreak right now, so it would not be good to kiss her.

I didn't, I gave her small pecks on different places, shoulder, cheeck, forehead, neck and kept holding her sometimes closer sometimes with more distant as we were talking about a bunch of things.

In the end, she was going to leave and I had her lie with her whole body on me for a moment, then we went to the exit and gave a very warm hug.

I sent her a text that I enjoyed the time, she told she didn't enjoy all of it, but she thanked me for how understanding and comforting I was and she was sorry I had to deal with all that and that she is very fragile right now.

I haven't decided what to really do with her yet, this herpes thing is really something I don't want to play with, I also told her I can't promise her anything, but I do enjoy her company and she excites me. So I don't really know if it makes sense to keep in touch, and invite her out again after about a week when she won't have the outbreak anymore and we can kiss safely, and then try to escalate from there.

But honestly with her situation I'm really thinking that maybe I shouldn't even push it more towards sex, and I don't only mean the health part, but also her emotional world right now. I'm not sure, feels a bit bad to not keep in touch after such a close moment either, so we will see.

Some general thoughts on these girls' looks

Something for last, since it keeps bothering me from time to time, is how it happens that most of the girls I end up getting out with are the opposite to my preferred beauty standards. So if I like tall, blond, slim girls for example, I will generally date curvier, shorter girls with brown hair. I don't even know what's the deal with that, because I would expect even statistically to also get dates at least with these other types, but looking back maybe I've had 2 or 3 out of how many in my whole life with my preferred beauty type.

Thought about it again, because this last girl showed some pictures or her friends telling me guys always approach them when they go out, and honestly I would probably have done the same since they were tall, blond and pretty. For sure you can't really say from a picture, I know that I liked the face and body of the girl I was with, it's just interesting that I always seem to attract these kind of girls that I am not crazily into physically.

Meaning the cute girls that arouse me, but I wouldn't really think of dating more seriously beauty wise. And I do wonder if there is an issue behind all that, maybe I change my approach when I like a girl more, but I honestly believe I am trying not to do that, can't say if there is a subtle expression of more interest that makes them take a step back, though.

I will also say that it affects me a bit in the sense of how I perceive my looks. I mean I do get into thought patterns that I am attractive enough for a certain caliber of girls while for others I am not and they feel it instantly, it's like I telegraph I am below their level and they shouldn't date me somehow. I know it doesn't make much sense objectively, because probably there are guys that would like these girls I go out with more than the girls I would prefer to go out with.

It's just a very strange feeling that sometimes affects my motivation too, because I do go out with these girls and I want to lead them to sex and enjoy ourselves, but it does feel sometimes that I don't see them as much more than that, and whether we keep in touch or we meet again or not doesn't seem to matter to me. So I can get the feeling of: Oh great, another short cutie to take to a date, totally unexpected, that's what we have so let's just do it.

I will keep going anyway, this is something that is fairly important to me long term though. I'd like to eventually be able to at least have the option of dating some of the girls of the body/face types I want. I mean I guess I do attract some girls, what would be so different with attracting them.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

This was quite a full week. I had 3 interviews basically, even did the one that I said I was flaked on. Not sure exactly how these will go, finding something will be important to provide me with a certain stability for the future and letting me focus on other things.

Due to these interviews I didn't sleep very well one-two days, and then it affected my approaches. I could feel I was grumpier, and I am pretty sure I was sub-communicating it quite a lot too. The worst part is in fact that you may start with few approaches that don't get good receptions and then you are basically preparing yourself for the next to not go very well either.

I have noticed that after a number of rejections, I start thinking a lot how to make a non receptive girl open up to me, and then I go in with the idea that the approach will not be very welcome already. It doesn't help in any way and I should just focus on enjoying the moment, making the approaches from an assured high value frame and not constantly think what tactics to use so I can make them work.

I feel at this point that the rejections are not really affecting my self-image, I can understand that the girls are not rejecting me but the approach, that said it is true that getting a lot of them starts making you wonder how would it be possible to be with these girls if they don't even let themselves get to know you.

Just by volume I got some phone numbers this week too, haven't had much come out of them yet, so we will see. Few seemed promising.

I went to one date where the girl didn't want to come home, no idea if there will be another time. That same night I also went to another date with an older woman, which I eventually kissed and I feel has potential to lead to sex the next time we meet.

I can say though that after being with the younger girl last week, I am getting a bigger appreciation for young girls in general. I can feel that I treat them as silly and cute way more easily than girls of my age and older.

It reallly feels difficult to hook them though. I managed it with one this week inside the train station at night and got her number, this was pretty much the exemption.

Saying this I also feel more and more that I don't enjoy dance clubs for game. I feel like losing my time when I spend it there and try to interact with people. I get more promising interactions by walking around the city at night than by going inside a club.

It's probably connected to my general struggles with early game. Meaning that if you don't have enough people even interested to spend time with you in the club, how will you game really?

Anyway, for now I am focused on daygame, and I'd say the primary goal is to increase the percentage of good interactions I get to dates and lays.

And I cannot say that from my latest dates I have a clear understanding of how to sleep with girls more consistently. It feels like a large number of them come way more reserved to meet and want to go slow.

The only thing I can do of course is keep approaching, getting the experience and growing.

To close, I met with a friend today after a while, and he told me he has started being coached for cold approach. We hadn't really talked about game ever, but I am happy for him, because I really believe he could gain a lot by improving his girl-getting skills.

It was interesting because we were sitting together at a bench and I was mentioning how I also do that, but haven't received coaching yet, and when I said something about a girl passing in front of us he kinda challenged me to go and approach. I honestly didn't want to just ditch him for the girl, but he is in the phase of fighting with approach anxiety and didn't fully believe I could just go and do it, so I did.

The funniest thing is that the girl was the most receptive one of the whole day for me. I told him when I came back after about 5 minutes that this is not the normal thing, that you just go and you get a contact so easily all the time, but he was still impressed I went and approached without thinking about it at all.

He is a really nice guy, and he told me we could go out and approach together, which I am not against, i only did it once with someone else, but this one has been a friend before I even started approaching myself. So I'll see, I suppose it's not bad to have someone you can share a bunch of the things we discuss here in real life too.